Awkward s05e01 Episode Script
Prank Amateurs
(Jenna) Last season on Awkward - It's senior year! - Class ranking? T, I am 137th! [blows whistle.]
[overlapping shouting.]
- Holla, party people.
- [all gasp.]
- Matty, I didn't get into SCU.
- I'm sorry.
- It's Matty.
- I know who you are, McKibben.
Gabby may have been Matty's best girlfriend ever, but I was determined to be his best friend ever.
She wasn't trying to intimidate me.
She was just straight-up cool.
She just wants to take things a little slow.
Some things are just worth waiting for.
Don't spend the rest of your time in high school hung up on Matty.
It's okay, Officer, my sister just got into college! (Jenna) Brian and I were about the same age, but he seemed so much older.
- Well, hello, T.
- Hi.
You think you're gonna see him again? We're engaged.
We went and saw my biological father.
What you got here, soul mate.
Where's Matty? I think something his father said got him riled up.
He just doesn't want to talk to me.
Let her move on with her life.
You had your chance.
If you still have feelings for Jenna, you know, maybe you should I can't.
I had my chance.
I still wait for you, wait for you (Jenna) It was the first day back at school after spring break.
Thank God I had finally gotten into college and gotten over Matty.
Well, I could still look, couldn't I? But I'd moved on.
And I could focus on cherishing every last minute with my friends.
This is deep in my discomfort zone.
I am engaged to be married.
My fiancé is the only one who should be seeing my luscious lickables.
But you're gonna break off the engagement, right? Of course I'm not getting married at 17 to a guy I've known for, like, a day.
Well, the sooner the better.
Duh and duh-er, Jenna.
It was just a little vay-cay-cray.
Oh! Check out this pic Brian sent me.
[gasps.]
Hot-dorable.
Being butt naked makes me feel like Eve in the Garden of Eden.
Exactly, Lissa.
Except we're in a rank janitor's closet with a bunch of nasty one-eyed snakes that aren't the least bit tempting.
Like Eve, I fell from grace, then found my way back to God.
I really feel her journey now.
In fact, some of this nudity is a hate crime.
Thanks a lot, Matty, for this brilliant idea.
Eww! (all) Shh! That touched me! Come on, Sadie, show some class spirit! Senior Streak is a tradition.
Transgression for Dummies.
Take the sex and glamour out of nudity, stir, and presto! Basic brand vanilla pudding.
I'll signal [whistles.]
when the coast is clear.
(Gabby) Can you not get so close? We really screwed up, but it won't become a big deal if you don't make it a big deal.
Jake, it is a big deal.
It was my first time.
And with you! So not my plan.
(Jenna) Oh, my God.
Holy [bleep.]
[bleep.]
.
Jake and Gabby had cheated on Matty? No way.
What a cluster[bleep.]
of betrayal and lies.
I was so freaked out, so terrified of facing Matty, and so [bleep.]
desperate to get this ordeal over with that I What the hell? The coast is not clear.
(Jenna) Jumped the gun.
Jenna, are you running through the hallway naked? Oh, that reminds me, I need to get a haircut.
Ugh! What is that smell? - [cat meows.]
- What smell? Maybe I should change the kitty litter.
Or stop recycling it.
You know what's funny? Cats have litters of kittens, then poop in litter boxes.
Who made that decision? Val, are you living here? What? No.
J, I am a professional.
This is my workplace, okay? [cat meows.]
All right, it's just, Biggie kind of moved in and Congrats.
Listen, I don't know what to do, and you probably won't either, but I need your advice on something.
Thing is, he's allergic to my kitties.
Okay, so Miss Pooty and Mr.
Candypants and Dr.
Fluffernut who may or may not be my favorite and, well, all of them asked to come to my office.
And since they get lonely without Mama Val and her Kitty Playtime show you should see what I do with fishing lures and tacos Right, well, the thing is about Matty, and I found out something that I really wish I hadn't.
- And now I - Don't get me wrong.
I love, love, love living with Biggie, I do.
I don't need space or anything, and it is so great waking up next to a mouth-breather with boundary issues.
Everything's great! Everything is it's so good.
Okay, I'm just gonna go.
No, no, no, no, no, don't go.
No, there was something I needed to tell you.
Uh, oh! You're suspended for the rest of the day.
Don't eff up the rest of your senior year by being a reckless nudist, Jenna.
There's only 48 days left to graduation.
Only 47 days left for me.
I just got suspended.
Why didn't you wait for the all clear? I was distracted.
Yeah, I saw you showing some photos of some guy to Tamara.
Oh, that's that's Brian, the guy I met on spring break.
He's a marine.
You and I didn't really get to spend much time together.
Otherwise, you probably would have met him.
Yeah, I'm really sorry you didn't get a chance to meet my bio dad.
You had a lot going on, and it all worked out.
I met a cool guy and I have Gabby.
(Jenna) But did he? I felt so guilty knowing what Matty didn't.
What was I supposed to do? Well, I better go before my suspension turns into expulsion.
Don't want to blow the rest of senior year.
I blew it big-time, man.
What, the prank? Oh, come on, that wasn't your fault.
It was Jenna's.
But, as prank captain, it's on you to come up with a new one.
Not that.
Gabby.
She's great.
So you're into her again, huh? Well, I was never not into her.
I was just confused.
Right.
Jenna tends to confuse you.
Well, she's with some G.
I.
Joe, and I have Gabby, so it all worked out.
Hey! You look gorgeous.
Thanks, Matty.
So do you.
You just are so awesome.
I'll catch you guys later.
(Lissa) The best thing about a dark period? There's a light at the end of the tunnel named Jesus Christ.
Okay, but for the love of Christ, can you please shut the [bleep.]
up about it? - It's really boring.
- But (Val over P.
A.
) Sadie Saxton, please come to Miss Marks' office.
[cat meows.]
If this has anything to do with your stupid prank, I swear to God I will crucify you.
Wow, your reawakened faith is really rubbing off on me! What is that repulsive stench? It's like feces and patchouli.
It's your mom! Hi, sweetheart.
How about that? I was spot-on.
It's the acrid smell of feces and patchouli with a noxious top note of betrayal and abandonment.
Sadie, this is supposed to be a happy surprise.
It's your mom! It's okay.
Sadie has every right to be angry.
I don't need your permission to be angry.
I know that I have no right to expect anything from you, Sadie, least of all your forgiveness.
But my life is finally on track, and the only thing missing is you.
Will you at least give me a chance to make things right? Too [bleep.]
late, Darlene.
(Lacey) Oh, it's way too big, Kev.
(Kevin) Let's just cram it in.
[laughter.]
(Lacey) This is so fun.
Hello! I'm home! [gasps.]
Oh, God.
Please tell me you're not in my room? - Oh, honey, no.
- Come on, no way.
We were just talking about how we're gonna turn your room into a nursery when you're - You know - gone.
Okay, actually, that's worse.
What are you doing home? Suspended.
- What for? - Oh, what? The Senior Streak turned into a Jenna Streak.
I got busted and ruined the senior prank at the same time.
It's been a good day.
So what are you gonna do? A spa day? A movie? I don't know.
Don't stress, Jenna.
Have some fun.
I know, it's just, there's this thing.
Ooh, I love things.
I know, and the thing is about Matty.
Should I be here? Is this boy talk or girl talk? It's girl talk about boys.
And I'm out.
You ladies have at it.
Heart beats Slowly I found out that Matty's girlfriend hasn't been faithful.
Oh, my God, Gabby cheated on Matty? With who? Are you sure? Yes, it doesn't matter who.
Should I tell Matty? I can't even think straight.
I think the first thing that you need to get clear in your head is, what do you want from Matty? I don't want anything from Matty.
- Are you sure? - Yes, absolutely.
Because if you tell him that his girlfriend cheated, then he may think you have an agenda.
He's my friend.
I don't want him to get hurt.
Remember what happened when you tried telling him about that whole crazy Eva mess? Yeah, the messenger got shot.
Exactly.
Sometimes doing nothing is the right thing.
Yeah, for me, but what about for Matty? - Is Gabby still cheating? - No! But she's acting like she's really into Matty.
Maybe she is still into Matty, and maybe what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
Yeah.
Leave well enough alone.
I mean, here I am, I finally got my [bleep.]
together, I've got a great guy who's into me, and I'm about to graduate.
Now is not the time to stir up the Matty drama.
I think that's right.
Now, how are we gonna deal with this suspension, young lady? Shopping or spa day? Or both? [both chuckle.]
(Jenna) I decided to avoid my problems and focus on my friends' problems.
So you told Adam yet? I've decided I can't just back the dump truck up and unload over the phone.
BTE'ing is a big deal breaking the engagement.
So you're really gonna make him drive all the way out here? It's a long, hot drive.
F2F is better.
An engagement is a big deal.
Chill, why are you so hung up on something that really isn't even your business? (Jenna) Tamara was right.
It really wasn't my business.
Maybe I was pushing her so hard because I was feeling guilty about not telling Matty my secret.
But I knew letting it go was the right thing to do.
Too bad that was easier said than done.
This isn't like regular high school breaking up.
Yeah, it's such a big deal that you got engaged to him after knowing him for all of two hours.
You'll understand if you ever get engaged.
Don't worry, I'm sure you will.
Maybe your Mommy will buy you a pony! I didn't ride ponies, Lissa.
I competed in dressage on thoroughbreds.
And I am not accepting any beasts from that monster.
[scoffs.]
Oh, Sadie, everyone loves their mommy.
I mean, I was mad at my mommy when she told me I was going straight to hell, but now I just know it was because she was stressed about me being in love with my brother and my daddy being gay.
Look around, Lissa.
We're already in hell.
There is no bigger punishment than these stupid, desperate pranks.
[high-pitched.]
Who threw all this trash on the ground? It's sick.
[high-pitched.]
Is this a prank or a human tapestry illustrating the tragedy of basic? It's performance fart.
The evil of banality.
I hope this was a coincidence.
I was here first.
So what happened to letting Matty down easy? Not really your concern.
I know we're not getting together, but you don't have to string Matty along just to cover our tracks.
It's not that, Jake.
He's really trying now.
He's being so sweet.
Oh, hi.
You guys are talking about me, right, "sweet"? [both chuckle.]
Is this even working? What is this? Senior Sweep? Mopping the floor with your own clothes? Wow, what school spirit and pride, seniors, huzzah! Okay, this sucked.
We'll figure something out, babe.
It ain't over till it's over.
I know we will.
Seniors rule.
We're going out as the best class ever.
Says the best boyfriend ever.
(Jenna) Clearly I had made the right decision.
Matty and Gabby were all over each other.
What he didn't know couldn't hurt him.
Or me.
Okay, new prank tonight.
It's parent-teacher night, so the timing is perfect.
You show up at 9:00 with lots of underwear.
The trashier the better, like those red lace ones you have can you bring those? Um, I'm afraid to ask what you're planning, but I can't make it anyway.
Oh, come on, why not? (Jenna) I was worried I was failing him as a friend in so many ways that I felt extra guilty when I told him - I have a date.
- Me too.
Sorry.
Come on, you guys.
Where's your class spirit? Jenna, you did mess up the first prank, and sadly, the second one sucked giant balls.
I'm sorry, I just can't tonight.
Wow, you're just done with high school, huh? Done with your high school friends and your old pal Matty McKibben? All right, all right.
I will try to come by later.
Don't just try.
This is our one and only senior year, and you quitters are missing out.
I mean, who the hell does Darlene think she is, acting like she can just waltz back into my life after dumping me on that slag heap Ally? Your mother? Darlene is a mother in name only.
It's a cosmic joke that someone as sensitive and empathetic as me was birthed from the loins of that grotesque gold-digger.
What if she really has changed? Wasn't she getting all spiritual and self-realized in Santa Fe? The only self-realization she needs is to face the fact that she's an utter failure as a human being.
She abandoned me when my dad went to jail.
It's always about her.
She's never, not once, made me feel good about myself.
That's what I'm here for.
Don't go crazy, you are just my hot piece of ass.
Oh, no.
You're mine, chica.
What about just trying to forgive her and accept her for who she is? For your sake, not hers.
Forgiveness is weak, and acceptance is even worse.
It's a slippery slope from acceptance to complacency, and I am not a fan of complacency because it leads to stupidity and obesity.
Yeah, I've heard.
You're welcome.
I just want you to be happy.
Me too, and that's why I don't want her in my life.
And after calling her out on all her [bleep.]
this morning, I'll never hear from her again, so problem solved.
[upbeat music.]
(Jenna) It was so nice to be alone with Brian again.
I was so sick of all the Matty psychodrama and childish high school pranks.
(Tamara) A picnic sounded like so much fun.
We're double dating! (Jenna) While I was trying very hard to recapture the spark I had with Brian in Mexico, Tamara and Adam were on fire.
[Tamara giggling.]
Stop! - [grunts.]
- [giggles.]
Brian, why don't we go for a walk? - [blowing raspberries.]
- [laughing.]
[upbeat music.]
[laughs.]
Thanks, man.
Can you bring it to Gabby in the gym? Yeah.
We were on the streets Boxers or briefs? I got both.
Lucky me.
I'm a girl who likes choices.
Come on, there's a lot of underwear here.
I still know all the Boy Scout knots.
"Always be prepared.
" Yeah.
Across the neighborhood Though tiny, we were masters Hey, lady! You're mama's finally come to take you off my hands.
You need to knock, and I am not missing my last two months of high school.
She's gotten way ahead of herself, Sadie.
I am so sorry.
You must be Sergio.
Nice to He's been debriefed about you.
Oh, my maid's room will be a maid's room once more.
It's not like you ever did any housework or earned your keep or were even nice and had cocktails with me.
At least you started bringing some eye candy home.
Other than that, you've been a rail pain in my ane.
So sayonara, ciao, adios.
I am not moving to New Mexico with you right now.
Are you insane? Of course not, sweetheart.
I rented a place nearby, so I can be with you, and we can make up for lost time.
But you don't need to move in with me until you're ready.
I'm ready.
I know that I have to earn your forgiveness, and I'm not going anywhere until I do.
What has gotten into you? It's disturbing.
New Mexico has been so good for me, honey.
[laughs.]
I've made smart, eclectic friends, and I have this great new boyfriend that I want you to meet.
Look, I know it's hard for you to believe, but I really have changed.
At least give me a chance? I'll think about it.
[sighs.]
Thank God! Now will everyone who isn't my boyfriend get the hell out of my room? (Brian) Yeah, training is just it's super intense.
(Jenna) I'm not that good at athletic stuff.
I broke my arm once drawing a bath.
Oh.
[chuckles.]
[phone dings.]
(Jenna) I wouldn't have even been checking my texts if things were clicking with Brian, but they weren't.
And Matty's text was exactly right.
I didn't want to miss it.
It was the end of my whole high school era.
I wanted to be there, and whatever guilt or mixed up emotions I had about Matty shouldn't have been keeping me away.
- [murmuring.]
- [giggling.]
Hey, T, we gotta get back to school for the prank.
What? No, we don't.
Uh, yeah, we do.
We promised, remember? No, I have the transcript in my head verbate.
You said we would try, and I observed a rare moment of silence.
By "trying," I meant "coming later.
" I'm sorry you're tone deaf to nuance.
But But we can hash this out on the way there.
And anyway, you guys have such a long drive ahead, so Well, it's still early.
We can come with you.
- I love pranks.
- Really? Okay, let's go! Heck yeah, I'm in.
[indistinct chatter.]
SNAFU! Did you know that means Situation Normal: All [bleep.]
Up? Adam taught me that the military has cute expressions too.
Maybe I should enlist in that department.
(Jake) Oh, hey.
(Matty) Hey, just got a little snag here, but it's going really good.
Brought some buddies.
That's awesome.
Hey there, buddy, I can fix that for you.
Oh, hey, bro.
No, we're we're good.
Don't need to call in the troops for this.
No, it's okay, I do this stuff all the time in boot camp.
I like it.
He likes it.
It's not his prank.
Hey, if he wants to do your dirty work, why stop him? [rock music.]
It's stuck.
I can't get it out.
My hands are too big.
Come down.
You're making me nervous.
Yeah, I'll just I'll get a wrench from my truck, and I'll get that all figured out for you, okay? No, no, you don't, man.
I got this.
[laughs.]
Actually, no need.
It's okay, babe.
Jake got it untangled.
Thank God you took your shirt off.
So it's pretty good, right, seniors? [cheering.]
Pretty busted.
The joke's on no one.
Is that your marine? He is gorge.
Way out of your league.
[together.]
I want one! (Jenna) The Julies were right.
He was a beautiful man to behold.
So why didn't I want to be holding him? Um, this was great.
Yeah, it was great to see you.
And, um, you know, we should definitely keep in touch.
Sure, on Facebook and stuff.
(Jenna) Brian was clearly a great guy and a hottie, but it just wasn't like it had been in Mexico.
What was missing? Had it been a case of vacation goggles? Maybe should just meet up in Baja sometime.
Yeah, yeah, we should definitely do that.
Not to interruptus the coitus, but big news: We picked a date! Oh, God, we have so much to do.
Well, luckily I know someone who loves making lists.
[giggles.]
Hey, we should get back to base, Bri.
- Miss you! - You too.
(Adam) See you soon? Yeah? (Tamara) Sure.
[engine starts.]
Dear Prudence, what's up? That good-bye kiss was more like a bad dry kiss.
(Val) Help! Help! My precious little Fluffernut is soaking wet.
[cat snarls.]
[electronic music.]
Whoa.
Congrats, Matty.
You pulled it off.
- This is a pretty epic prank.
- Uh, yeah, but it wasn't me.
Whoever did this, hats off.
- It's awesome.
- Isn't it obvious? The Temperamentals.
We had to.
You guys are all prank amateurs.
Eventually some professionals had to step in.
We're on top of the world Working all day, came to party all night [cats meowing.]
Gonna have a good time 'Cause we're on top of the world Where's your guy? He had to get back to the base.
Came to party all night Gonna have a good time [all cheering.]
- 46 days left! - Yeah! Crazy, right? - [laughs.]
- Whoo! (Jenna) I had definitely done the right thing by not telling Matty.
It says a lot about a guy who stays friends with his exes.
I'm really glad all that drama's behind us.
I mean, he's been such a sweetheart.
He was gonna break up with you.
What? What? What are you talking about? I shouldn't have said anything, okay? - Just forget it.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
You have to tell me.
In Mexico, he said he was still into Jenna, and if Jenna wasn't with that Marine, then he w no! No, no, no, Gabby, I You know what, Matty? You are just so awesome.
It is so awesome that you didn't just break up with me.
Thanks for that.
Oh, and by the way, I [bleep.]
Jake.
[crowd shouts.]
What? Did you know? (Jenna) So the truth had come out after all.
Poor Matty my heart ached for him, and I had no idea how to make any of this better.
Only 46 days left.
Yay.
[overlapping shouting.]
- Holla, party people.
- [all gasp.]
- Matty, I didn't get into SCU.
- I'm sorry.
- It's Matty.
- I know who you are, McKibben.
Gabby may have been Matty's best girlfriend ever, but I was determined to be his best friend ever.
She wasn't trying to intimidate me.
She was just straight-up cool.
She just wants to take things a little slow.
Some things are just worth waiting for.
Don't spend the rest of your time in high school hung up on Matty.
It's okay, Officer, my sister just got into college! (Jenna) Brian and I were about the same age, but he seemed so much older.
- Well, hello, T.
- Hi.
You think you're gonna see him again? We're engaged.
We went and saw my biological father.
What you got here, soul mate.
Where's Matty? I think something his father said got him riled up.
He just doesn't want to talk to me.
Let her move on with her life.
You had your chance.
If you still have feelings for Jenna, you know, maybe you should I can't.
I had my chance.
I still wait for you, wait for you (Jenna) It was the first day back at school after spring break.
Thank God I had finally gotten into college and gotten over Matty.
Well, I could still look, couldn't I? But I'd moved on.
And I could focus on cherishing every last minute with my friends.
This is deep in my discomfort zone.
I am engaged to be married.
My fiancé is the only one who should be seeing my luscious lickables.
But you're gonna break off the engagement, right? Of course I'm not getting married at 17 to a guy I've known for, like, a day.
Well, the sooner the better.
Duh and duh-er, Jenna.
It was just a little vay-cay-cray.
Oh! Check out this pic Brian sent me.
[gasps.]
Hot-dorable.
Being butt naked makes me feel like Eve in the Garden of Eden.
Exactly, Lissa.
Except we're in a rank janitor's closet with a bunch of nasty one-eyed snakes that aren't the least bit tempting.
Like Eve, I fell from grace, then found my way back to God.
I really feel her journey now.
In fact, some of this nudity is a hate crime.
Thanks a lot, Matty, for this brilliant idea.
Eww! (all) Shh! That touched me! Come on, Sadie, show some class spirit! Senior Streak is a tradition.
Transgression for Dummies.
Take the sex and glamour out of nudity, stir, and presto! Basic brand vanilla pudding.
I'll signal [whistles.]
when the coast is clear.
(Gabby) Can you not get so close? We really screwed up, but it won't become a big deal if you don't make it a big deal.
Jake, it is a big deal.
It was my first time.
And with you! So not my plan.
(Jenna) Oh, my God.
Holy [bleep.]
[bleep.]
.
Jake and Gabby had cheated on Matty? No way.
What a cluster[bleep.]
of betrayal and lies.
I was so freaked out, so terrified of facing Matty, and so [bleep.]
desperate to get this ordeal over with that I What the hell? The coast is not clear.
(Jenna) Jumped the gun.
Jenna, are you running through the hallway naked? Oh, that reminds me, I need to get a haircut.
Ugh! What is that smell? - [cat meows.]
- What smell? Maybe I should change the kitty litter.
Or stop recycling it.
You know what's funny? Cats have litters of kittens, then poop in litter boxes.
Who made that decision? Val, are you living here? What? No.
J, I am a professional.
This is my workplace, okay? [cat meows.]
All right, it's just, Biggie kind of moved in and Congrats.
Listen, I don't know what to do, and you probably won't either, but I need your advice on something.
Thing is, he's allergic to my kitties.
Okay, so Miss Pooty and Mr.
Candypants and Dr.
Fluffernut who may or may not be my favorite and, well, all of them asked to come to my office.
And since they get lonely without Mama Val and her Kitty Playtime show you should see what I do with fishing lures and tacos Right, well, the thing is about Matty, and I found out something that I really wish I hadn't.
- And now I - Don't get me wrong.
I love, love, love living with Biggie, I do.
I don't need space or anything, and it is so great waking up next to a mouth-breather with boundary issues.
Everything's great! Everything is it's so good.
Okay, I'm just gonna go.
No, no, no, no, no, don't go.
No, there was something I needed to tell you.
Uh, oh! You're suspended for the rest of the day.
Don't eff up the rest of your senior year by being a reckless nudist, Jenna.
There's only 48 days left to graduation.
Only 47 days left for me.
I just got suspended.
Why didn't you wait for the all clear? I was distracted.
Yeah, I saw you showing some photos of some guy to Tamara.
Oh, that's that's Brian, the guy I met on spring break.
He's a marine.
You and I didn't really get to spend much time together.
Otherwise, you probably would have met him.
Yeah, I'm really sorry you didn't get a chance to meet my bio dad.
You had a lot going on, and it all worked out.
I met a cool guy and I have Gabby.
(Jenna) But did he? I felt so guilty knowing what Matty didn't.
What was I supposed to do? Well, I better go before my suspension turns into expulsion.
Don't want to blow the rest of senior year.
I blew it big-time, man.
What, the prank? Oh, come on, that wasn't your fault.
It was Jenna's.
But, as prank captain, it's on you to come up with a new one.
Not that.
Gabby.
She's great.
So you're into her again, huh? Well, I was never not into her.
I was just confused.
Right.
Jenna tends to confuse you.
Well, she's with some G.
I.
Joe, and I have Gabby, so it all worked out.
Hey! You look gorgeous.
Thanks, Matty.
So do you.
You just are so awesome.
I'll catch you guys later.
(Lissa) The best thing about a dark period? There's a light at the end of the tunnel named Jesus Christ.
Okay, but for the love of Christ, can you please shut the [bleep.]
up about it? - It's really boring.
- But (Val over P.
A.
) Sadie Saxton, please come to Miss Marks' office.
[cat meows.]
If this has anything to do with your stupid prank, I swear to God I will crucify you.
Wow, your reawakened faith is really rubbing off on me! What is that repulsive stench? It's like feces and patchouli.
It's your mom! Hi, sweetheart.
How about that? I was spot-on.
It's the acrid smell of feces and patchouli with a noxious top note of betrayal and abandonment.
Sadie, this is supposed to be a happy surprise.
It's your mom! It's okay.
Sadie has every right to be angry.
I don't need your permission to be angry.
I know that I have no right to expect anything from you, Sadie, least of all your forgiveness.
But my life is finally on track, and the only thing missing is you.
Will you at least give me a chance to make things right? Too [bleep.]
late, Darlene.
(Lacey) Oh, it's way too big, Kev.
(Kevin) Let's just cram it in.
[laughter.]
(Lacey) This is so fun.
Hello! I'm home! [gasps.]
Oh, God.
Please tell me you're not in my room? - Oh, honey, no.
- Come on, no way.
We were just talking about how we're gonna turn your room into a nursery when you're - You know - gone.
Okay, actually, that's worse.
What are you doing home? Suspended.
- What for? - Oh, what? The Senior Streak turned into a Jenna Streak.
I got busted and ruined the senior prank at the same time.
It's been a good day.
So what are you gonna do? A spa day? A movie? I don't know.
Don't stress, Jenna.
Have some fun.
I know, it's just, there's this thing.
Ooh, I love things.
I know, and the thing is about Matty.
Should I be here? Is this boy talk or girl talk? It's girl talk about boys.
And I'm out.
You ladies have at it.
Heart beats Slowly I found out that Matty's girlfriend hasn't been faithful.
Oh, my God, Gabby cheated on Matty? With who? Are you sure? Yes, it doesn't matter who.
Should I tell Matty? I can't even think straight.
I think the first thing that you need to get clear in your head is, what do you want from Matty? I don't want anything from Matty.
- Are you sure? - Yes, absolutely.
Because if you tell him that his girlfriend cheated, then he may think you have an agenda.
He's my friend.
I don't want him to get hurt.
Remember what happened when you tried telling him about that whole crazy Eva mess? Yeah, the messenger got shot.
Exactly.
Sometimes doing nothing is the right thing.
Yeah, for me, but what about for Matty? - Is Gabby still cheating? - No! But she's acting like she's really into Matty.
Maybe she is still into Matty, and maybe what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
Yeah.
Leave well enough alone.
I mean, here I am, I finally got my [bleep.]
together, I've got a great guy who's into me, and I'm about to graduate.
Now is not the time to stir up the Matty drama.
I think that's right.
Now, how are we gonna deal with this suspension, young lady? Shopping or spa day? Or both? [both chuckle.]
(Jenna) I decided to avoid my problems and focus on my friends' problems.
So you told Adam yet? I've decided I can't just back the dump truck up and unload over the phone.
BTE'ing is a big deal breaking the engagement.
So you're really gonna make him drive all the way out here? It's a long, hot drive.
F2F is better.
An engagement is a big deal.
Chill, why are you so hung up on something that really isn't even your business? (Jenna) Tamara was right.
It really wasn't my business.
Maybe I was pushing her so hard because I was feeling guilty about not telling Matty my secret.
But I knew letting it go was the right thing to do.
Too bad that was easier said than done.
This isn't like regular high school breaking up.
Yeah, it's such a big deal that you got engaged to him after knowing him for all of two hours.
You'll understand if you ever get engaged.
Don't worry, I'm sure you will.
Maybe your Mommy will buy you a pony! I didn't ride ponies, Lissa.
I competed in dressage on thoroughbreds.
And I am not accepting any beasts from that monster.
[scoffs.]
Oh, Sadie, everyone loves their mommy.
I mean, I was mad at my mommy when she told me I was going straight to hell, but now I just know it was because she was stressed about me being in love with my brother and my daddy being gay.
Look around, Lissa.
We're already in hell.
There is no bigger punishment than these stupid, desperate pranks.
[high-pitched.]
Who threw all this trash on the ground? It's sick.
[high-pitched.]
Is this a prank or a human tapestry illustrating the tragedy of basic? It's performance fart.
The evil of banality.
I hope this was a coincidence.
I was here first.
So what happened to letting Matty down easy? Not really your concern.
I know we're not getting together, but you don't have to string Matty along just to cover our tracks.
It's not that, Jake.
He's really trying now.
He's being so sweet.
Oh, hi.
You guys are talking about me, right, "sweet"? [both chuckle.]
Is this even working? What is this? Senior Sweep? Mopping the floor with your own clothes? Wow, what school spirit and pride, seniors, huzzah! Okay, this sucked.
We'll figure something out, babe.
It ain't over till it's over.
I know we will.
Seniors rule.
We're going out as the best class ever.
Says the best boyfriend ever.
(Jenna) Clearly I had made the right decision.
Matty and Gabby were all over each other.
What he didn't know couldn't hurt him.
Or me.
Okay, new prank tonight.
It's parent-teacher night, so the timing is perfect.
You show up at 9:00 with lots of underwear.
The trashier the better, like those red lace ones you have can you bring those? Um, I'm afraid to ask what you're planning, but I can't make it anyway.
Oh, come on, why not? (Jenna) I was worried I was failing him as a friend in so many ways that I felt extra guilty when I told him - I have a date.
- Me too.
Sorry.
Come on, you guys.
Where's your class spirit? Jenna, you did mess up the first prank, and sadly, the second one sucked giant balls.
I'm sorry, I just can't tonight.
Wow, you're just done with high school, huh? Done with your high school friends and your old pal Matty McKibben? All right, all right.
I will try to come by later.
Don't just try.
This is our one and only senior year, and you quitters are missing out.
I mean, who the hell does Darlene think she is, acting like she can just waltz back into my life after dumping me on that slag heap Ally? Your mother? Darlene is a mother in name only.
It's a cosmic joke that someone as sensitive and empathetic as me was birthed from the loins of that grotesque gold-digger.
What if she really has changed? Wasn't she getting all spiritual and self-realized in Santa Fe? The only self-realization she needs is to face the fact that she's an utter failure as a human being.
She abandoned me when my dad went to jail.
It's always about her.
She's never, not once, made me feel good about myself.
That's what I'm here for.
Don't go crazy, you are just my hot piece of ass.
Oh, no.
You're mine, chica.
What about just trying to forgive her and accept her for who she is? For your sake, not hers.
Forgiveness is weak, and acceptance is even worse.
It's a slippery slope from acceptance to complacency, and I am not a fan of complacency because it leads to stupidity and obesity.
Yeah, I've heard.
You're welcome.
I just want you to be happy.
Me too, and that's why I don't want her in my life.
And after calling her out on all her [bleep.]
this morning, I'll never hear from her again, so problem solved.
[upbeat music.]
(Jenna) It was so nice to be alone with Brian again.
I was so sick of all the Matty psychodrama and childish high school pranks.
(Tamara) A picnic sounded like so much fun.
We're double dating! (Jenna) While I was trying very hard to recapture the spark I had with Brian in Mexico, Tamara and Adam were on fire.
[Tamara giggling.]
Stop! - [grunts.]
- [giggles.]
Brian, why don't we go for a walk? - [blowing raspberries.]
- [laughing.]
[upbeat music.]
[laughs.]
Thanks, man.
Can you bring it to Gabby in the gym? Yeah.
We were on the streets Boxers or briefs? I got both.
Lucky me.
I'm a girl who likes choices.
Come on, there's a lot of underwear here.
I still know all the Boy Scout knots.
"Always be prepared.
" Yeah.
Across the neighborhood Though tiny, we were masters Hey, lady! You're mama's finally come to take you off my hands.
You need to knock, and I am not missing my last two months of high school.
She's gotten way ahead of herself, Sadie.
I am so sorry.
You must be Sergio.
Nice to He's been debriefed about you.
Oh, my maid's room will be a maid's room once more.
It's not like you ever did any housework or earned your keep or were even nice and had cocktails with me.
At least you started bringing some eye candy home.
Other than that, you've been a rail pain in my ane.
So sayonara, ciao, adios.
I am not moving to New Mexico with you right now.
Are you insane? Of course not, sweetheart.
I rented a place nearby, so I can be with you, and we can make up for lost time.
But you don't need to move in with me until you're ready.
I'm ready.
I know that I have to earn your forgiveness, and I'm not going anywhere until I do.
What has gotten into you? It's disturbing.
New Mexico has been so good for me, honey.
[laughs.]
I've made smart, eclectic friends, and I have this great new boyfriend that I want you to meet.
Look, I know it's hard for you to believe, but I really have changed.
At least give me a chance? I'll think about it.
[sighs.]
Thank God! Now will everyone who isn't my boyfriend get the hell out of my room? (Brian) Yeah, training is just it's super intense.
(Jenna) I'm not that good at athletic stuff.
I broke my arm once drawing a bath.
Oh.
[chuckles.]
[phone dings.]
(Jenna) I wouldn't have even been checking my texts if things were clicking with Brian, but they weren't.
And Matty's text was exactly right.
I didn't want to miss it.
It was the end of my whole high school era.
I wanted to be there, and whatever guilt or mixed up emotions I had about Matty shouldn't have been keeping me away.
- [murmuring.]
- [giggling.]
Hey, T, we gotta get back to school for the prank.
What? No, we don't.
Uh, yeah, we do.
We promised, remember? No, I have the transcript in my head verbate.
You said we would try, and I observed a rare moment of silence.
By "trying," I meant "coming later.
" I'm sorry you're tone deaf to nuance.
But But we can hash this out on the way there.
And anyway, you guys have such a long drive ahead, so Well, it's still early.
We can come with you.
- I love pranks.
- Really? Okay, let's go! Heck yeah, I'm in.
[indistinct chatter.]
SNAFU! Did you know that means Situation Normal: All [bleep.]
Up? Adam taught me that the military has cute expressions too.
Maybe I should enlist in that department.
(Jake) Oh, hey.
(Matty) Hey, just got a little snag here, but it's going really good.
Brought some buddies.
That's awesome.
Hey there, buddy, I can fix that for you.
Oh, hey, bro.
No, we're we're good.
Don't need to call in the troops for this.
No, it's okay, I do this stuff all the time in boot camp.
I like it.
He likes it.
It's not his prank.
Hey, if he wants to do your dirty work, why stop him? [rock music.]
It's stuck.
I can't get it out.
My hands are too big.
Come down.
You're making me nervous.
Yeah, I'll just I'll get a wrench from my truck, and I'll get that all figured out for you, okay? No, no, you don't, man.
I got this.
[laughs.]
Actually, no need.
It's okay, babe.
Jake got it untangled.
Thank God you took your shirt off.
So it's pretty good, right, seniors? [cheering.]
Pretty busted.
The joke's on no one.
Is that your marine? He is gorge.
Way out of your league.
[together.]
I want one! (Jenna) The Julies were right.
He was a beautiful man to behold.
So why didn't I want to be holding him? Um, this was great.
Yeah, it was great to see you.
And, um, you know, we should definitely keep in touch.
Sure, on Facebook and stuff.
(Jenna) Brian was clearly a great guy and a hottie, but it just wasn't like it had been in Mexico.
What was missing? Had it been a case of vacation goggles? Maybe should just meet up in Baja sometime.
Yeah, yeah, we should definitely do that.
Not to interruptus the coitus, but big news: We picked a date! Oh, God, we have so much to do.
Well, luckily I know someone who loves making lists.
[giggles.]
Hey, we should get back to base, Bri.
- Miss you! - You too.
(Adam) See you soon? Yeah? (Tamara) Sure.
[engine starts.]
Dear Prudence, what's up? That good-bye kiss was more like a bad dry kiss.
(Val) Help! Help! My precious little Fluffernut is soaking wet.
[cat snarls.]
[electronic music.]
Whoa.
Congrats, Matty.
You pulled it off.
- This is a pretty epic prank.
- Uh, yeah, but it wasn't me.
Whoever did this, hats off.
- It's awesome.
- Isn't it obvious? The Temperamentals.
We had to.
You guys are all prank amateurs.
Eventually some professionals had to step in.
We're on top of the world Working all day, came to party all night [cats meowing.]
Gonna have a good time 'Cause we're on top of the world Where's your guy? He had to get back to the base.
Came to party all night Gonna have a good time [all cheering.]
- 46 days left! - Yeah! Crazy, right? - [laughs.]
- Whoo! (Jenna) I had definitely done the right thing by not telling Matty.
It says a lot about a guy who stays friends with his exes.
I'm really glad all that drama's behind us.
I mean, he's been such a sweetheart.
He was gonna break up with you.
What? What? What are you talking about? I shouldn't have said anything, okay? - Just forget it.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
You have to tell me.
In Mexico, he said he was still into Jenna, and if Jenna wasn't with that Marine, then he w no! No, no, no, Gabby, I You know what, Matty? You are just so awesome.
It is so awesome that you didn't just break up with me.
Thanks for that.
Oh, and by the way, I [bleep.]
Jake.
[crowd shouts.]
What? Did you know? (Jenna) So the truth had come out after all.
Poor Matty my heart ached for him, and I had no idea how to make any of this better.
Only 46 days left.
Yay.