Buffy the Vampire Slayer s05e01 Episode Script

Touchdown.
Oh, yeah.
Go, Team Me.
Anybody ever told Team You the quarterbackthrows like a girl? I do? Sorry.
No, don'tyou I'm exhausted just looking at those two.
All the splashing and jumping and running.
Shouldn't relaxing involve less exertion? Absolutely.
Exertion can lead to sweatiness.
Which can cause the pain and heartbreak of stinkiness.
Better to just stay put.
I think we've just put our finger on why we're the sidekicks.
Game over? Buffy slayed the football.
- Where's my burger? - Yeah, man, I'm starving.
Cow me.
The fire's not cooperating.
It's comforting to knowthat I lack the culinary finesse of a caveman.
Ignis, incende.
Willow, check you out.
Witch fu.
It's no big.
You just balance the elements so when you affect one, you don't wind up causing I didn't do it.
- Come on, hurry it up.
I'm getting soaked.
- I'm trying.
This thing weighs.
Nice.
Good job.
Look at this.
The guy's carting dirt around.
Leave it.
We'll turn it on its side.
Dirt.
Man, rich people are There you go.
All set.
Thank you, Willow.
Obstinate bloody machine simply refused to work for me.
Just call me the Computer Whisperer.
Let's get scanning.
I wanna see this puppy go.
- Start with those.
- Start? Where is finish? It's essential we begin to archive the library.
Most of these texts have no duplicates.
But now? Doesn't winter seem more like archiving season? Well, you don't have to, Willow.
I mean, you're welcome to leave if No.
It's fine.
It's justyou've been Mr Project all summer, you know? Labelling the amulets and indexing your diaries.
I drawthe line at making giant rubber-band balls.
That's when you'll just have to get a life.
That's what I'm trying to do, actually, is get a life.
- It might go better if you left the house.
- Willow you mustn't repeat what I'm about to say.
Especially not to Buffy.
- You promise? - Oh, God.
I guess.
Nowthat I knowthere's something to know, I can't not know, just because I'm afraid somebody'll know I know, you know? - Did that mean yes? - Yeah.
We're doing this because I wantyou all to have everything you need atyour fingertips.
You see, I'm going backto England.
You're what? Butyou can't.
You're Buffy's watcher.
I mean, in a fired way, but It's obvious that Buffy doesn't need me any more.
I don't say that in a self-pitying way.
I'm quite proud, actually.
But what about the rest of us? We still need to be watched.
Personally, I can't get through a day without a little hairy eyeball.
I appreciate the sentiment, but it's just not so.
You'll be fine.
You all will.
And we'll stay in touch.
You can always call me whenever you like.
When are you gonna tell Buffy? Soon.
It won't be easy, but I know she'll understand.
Thanks, Mom.
Everything was yummy.
You up for dessert? We could take a drive, get some ice cream.
You know, I would but I kinda have to get out on patrol.
Now? It's 8.
30.
Vamps don't really care what time it is.
You know, dark equals dinner bell.
Right.
Of course.
You know, I'm gonna have to get used to this place withoutyou again.
It gets so quiet.
Maybe we should make a regular date of this when school starts.
I'm sorry.
Duty calls.
It's a total drag.
Very impressive hunt.
Such power.
That was no hunt.
That was just another day on the job.
Care to step up for some overtime? We're not going to fight.
- Do you know what a slayer is? - Do you? Who are you? I apologise.
I assumed you knew.
I am Dracula.
Get out.
Xand, what if somebody had a secret and that somebody promised somebody else that they wouldn't tell anyone? Newsflash, Will.
Everybody knows.
No, this isn't about me and Tara.
Not that I wouldn't be all ears if you wanted to tell me a secret.
Even if it was very, very naughty.
Sorry, this is of the non-naughty variety.
And I'm not telling you.
OK.
Wanna see if Buffy's hanging around the headstones? Sure.
So if I was gonna tell you, which I'm not going to So let me get this straight.
You're "Dracula".
The guy.
The Count.
- I am.
- This isn't just some fan-boy thing? Cos I've fought a lot of pimply overweight vamps that called themselves Lestat.
You know who I am.
As I would know without question thatyou are Buffy Summers.
You've heard of me? Naturally.
You're known throughout the world.
No.
Really? Why else would I come here? For the sun? I came to meet the renowned killer.
Yeah, I prefer the term "slayer".
"Killer" just sounds so Naked? Like I paint clowns or something.
I'm the good guy, remember? Perhaps, butyour power is rooted in darkness.
You must feel it.
No.
You know what I feel? Bored.
OK, that's cheating.
Hey, Buff, what's up? - You look like you just - Get out of here.
Now.
Fine.
I was gonna give you a sip of my double-mint mocha Behind you.
Hi.
Nice.
Look who's got a bad case of Dark Prince envy.
I have no interest in you.
Leave us.
No, we're not going to "leave you".
And where'd you get that accent? Sesame Street? Von, two, three three victims.
- Mah-ha-ha-ha-ha! - Xander.
I'm pretty sure that's Dracula.
Wow, really? Sorry, man.
I was just jokin' around.
This is not the time.
I will see you soon.
Bat.
Buffy's all "Look out!" And then frigging Dracula's standing right behind us.
- And then he lunges at us, like, whoosh.
- He totally looked shorter in person.
I told you he'd heard of me.
Can you believe that? Count Famous heard of me.
I couldn't believe it the first 20 times you told us, but it's starting to sink in now.
I'm sorry.
Am I Repeat-O-Girl? I was just blown away.
It's not that surprising that he's heard of you.
You are the Slayer.
I guess.
Just the way he said it, you know? I mean, he made it sound so Sexy? I bet he made it sound sexy.
Kinda.
He of the dark, penetrating eyes and lilty accent.
- I wonder if he knows Frankenstein.
- You thought Dracula was sexy? No.
He was yuck.
Right.
Except for the whole tall, dark and handsome thing, yucko.
- How would you know? - Well, we hung out a fewtimes.
Back in my demon days.
You know, once or twice.
He's pretty cool.
You know, from a whole evil-thing perspective.
Please.
He was no big whoop.
"No big whoop"? What about when he turned himself into a bat? That was awesome.
It must have been, yes.
I must admit, I'm sorry I missed that.
Me too.
The whole time I was thinking "I wish Giles were here.
He'd know what to do.
" Didn'tyou guys thinkthat? Actually, I was more thinking "Bat!" - How come he can do that? - I have no idea.
There's a great deal of myth about Dracula.
I imagine the trickto defeating him lies in separating the fact from the fiction.
Great point.
That is so Giles to think of something like that, you know? That we would have never.
So we should take things slow with Dracula.
He said we would meet again, but I want to wait until we do some homework.
He may have a bunch of swell party tricks, but he's still just a vampire.
- Let's load up with stakes and go after him.
- Second.
Buffy's right.
Dracula's too slick to fall for the usual stuff.
So we hold off.
No killing until we know what we're dealing with.
You're not just saying that because of those dark penetrating eyes of his? Are you? No.
His eyes were They were There was no penetration.
Cross my heart.
All right.
Willow, you and Tara find out everything you can about the legend of Vlad the lmpaler on the Internet and I'll checkthe library.
The Initiative would have found everything in a few hours.
We may not be as fast, but we'll find him.
You guys'll reconvene here in the morning? - What's your plan? - Big sleep.
My Count encounter wiped me out.
I'm kinda wired.
Maybe I should just letyou getyour rest.
You sure? I mean, maybe if you just lie down with me Nothing you are about to say will lead to rest.
I guess you're right.
I'll see you in the morning? - With doughnuts.
- Heaven.
See? A little sugar and I'm all yours.
Dracula schmacula.
I doubt he'd remember me.
I was just a silly young thing.
Like 700 or so.
But he did say that this guy I cursed was doomed for ever, which was really sweet, don'tyou think? Adorable.
It was a great spell.
I made this jerk incredibly fat, like a human minivan.
You should just mention my name if you see him again.
Or why not sit on top of a crypt and flaunt your neck cleavage until Dracula shows up? - Then you two can talk private.
- Don't tell me you're jealous.
No.
Just because you're panting over the guy.
I am not panting.
Now stop being silly.
I'll see you tomorrow.
- You don't wanna come backto my place? - It's whites day.
The bleach smell makes me nauseous.
Fine.
I suppose Dracula doesn't use bleach? He's a darks-only man.
Great.
Perfect.
You know what? You're not so big.
One round of old-fashioned fisticuffs, I betyou'd fold like a bitty baby.
OK, let's do it.
And no poofing.
Come on, Puffy Shirt.
Pucker on up - Silence.
- Yes, master.
No, that's not You will be my emissary.
My eyes and ears in daylight.
- Your emissary? - Serve me well, you will be rewarded.
I will make you an immortal.
A child of darkness that feeds on life itself, on blood.
Blood? Yes.
I will serve you, Your Excellent Spookiness.
Or "master".
I'll stick with "master".
You are strange and off-putting.
Go now.
But, master, how can I find? Brilliant.
What an exit.
Guy's a genius.
Well, well.
You can take the boy out of the Initiative, butyou can't take the Initiative out of the boy.
I'd put that down, unless you're bucking for one hell of a headache.
I can't be too careful.
I got quite a few demons after me these days.
I'm looking for some information.
Might pay a little.
I'll play.
What can you tell me about Dracula? Dracula? Poncy bugger owes me - You know him? - Know him? We're old rivals.
But then he got famous.
He forgot all about his foes.
I'll tell you what.
That glory hound's done more harm to vampires than any slayer.
His story gets out and suddenly everybody knows howto kill us.
The mirror bit? But he's not just a regular vampire.
He has special powers, right? Nothing but showy gypsy stuff.
What's it to you, anyway? He's in town.
Making his presence known.
Drac's in Sunnydale? I guess the old boy needed closure after all.
Actually, he's gunning for Buffy.
But I'm out to find him before he gets another shot at her.
Tough talk, cowboy.
Butyou're not gonna catch him napping in a crypt.
The Count has to have his luxury estate and his bug-eaters and his special dirt, don't he? You're saying I should check out mansions? That sort of thing? No.
I'm saying you should go home to your superhoney.
Have a nice, safe snog.
You're out of your depth on this one, boy.
You've helped Buffy before, so she has a problem with killing you now you're helpless.
I don't.
I'd like to see you try.
Would you? You're never gonna find him.
Not before he gets to her.
You are magnificent.
I betyou say that before you bite all the girls.
No, you are different.
Kindred.
Kindred? Hardly, I Pull your hair back.
This isn't how I usually fight.
You think you can just waft in here with your music-video wind and your hypno eyes I have searched the world over for you.
I have yearned for you.
For a creature whose darkness rivals my own.
You have been tasted.
- He was - Unworthy.
He letyou go.
But the embrace, his bite, you remember.
No.
Do not fight.
I can feel your hunger.
- Here's a jelly one.
You want it? - No.
Got it.
Mine.
Well, I think we have Dracula factoids.
Like any of that's enough to fight the Dark Master.
- Baiter.
- A lot of it we already knew.
Turn-offs: wood, fire, crosses, garlic.
Turn-ons: nice duds, minions, long, slow bites that last for days.
Yeah, I did a little research, too.
Dracula likes to live in style.
Which means we can rule out the usual dumps vampires haunt.
He's smart enough to figure that we knowthat.
I say he's laying low.
Actually, my research backs Riley up.
Drac isn't the lay-lowtype.
So we can check out the nicer places.
Don'tyou think, Buffy? Buffy? Yeah.
We'll check all the swanky places first.
What else did you guys get? Well, Willow has most of it, actually.
Only because you gave me super pointers.
- I would never - Just go ahead, Willow.
OK.
Dracula's modus operandi is different from other vampires.
He will kill just to feed, but he'd rather have a connection with his victims.
And he has all of these mental powers to drawthem in.
He can read and control minds, and appear in dreams.
Makes sense.
That stare He just kinda looked right through you.
Didn'tyou feel it, Buffy? No, I didn't.
See.
Buffy didn't feel it.
I think you're drawing a lot of crazy conclusions about the Unholy Prince.
Baiter.
The point is, though he goes through the motions of an intimate seduction, the end result is the same - he turns them into a vampire.
Well.
That is intimate.
Dracula's gifting these ladies with his own blood.
And blood is life.
According to them.
Just be aware that he tends to form a relationship with his prey.
It's not enough for him to take her.
She must want to be taken.
She must burn for him.
That's interesting.
I'm gonna go find him.
You shouldn't go by yourself.
He's dangerous.
It's cool, I got it.
Take off that scarf.
What? No.
You're under the thrall of the Dark Prince.
I am not under the thrall of the Dark Prince.
Then take off the scarf.
Let go of me.
This is ridiculous.
- Why didn'tyou say anything? - She didn't want to worry us.
- It's just a scratch.
- Two deep puncture-y scratches.
I'm not sure why I tried to hide it.
There was just this voice and it was telling me to cover it.
And what did I tell you? That's thrall.
Like Dracula has mind control over her? You're watching too many creature features.
It does seem like he has this control over me, even though a big part of me is resisting.
No, it's OK.
I shouldn't take this personally.
What with Angel, it's understandable that there would be transference.
I mean, they're both broody immortals.
I am not transfer-y.
I swear to you.
I'm your girl and I'm gonna stay that way.
OK.
Butyou are not going anywhere near him again.
Riley's right.
You should stay out of sight.
Let the rest of us look for Dracula.
I can't go home.
He already got inside once.
Come to my place.
I'll make sure you stay put.
Good.
Riley and I can search for Dracula, and Willow, you and Tara could do a protection spell at Buffy's house, prevent him from returning.
Got it.
How'd he get inside anyway? He seemed so nice and normal.
A little pale.
A good Sunnydale rule of thumb: avoid white-skinned men in capes.
I'm not like this.
I don't invite strange men over for coffee.
It's just When you girls are older, you'll understand.
It's hard to date.
Sometimes you just feel like giving up on men altogether.
Another bust.
It's getting dark.
I should have turned up a better lead.
There must be an easier way to find him.
Too late to worry about that now.
If we hurry, we can hit these last places.
How come I have to slayer-sit while the others get to look for Dracula? - I mean, just because I'm - What time is it? Almost six.
I mean, I'm the one who knows him.
I'm the one who had a good look at him, so I'm supposed to deliver you to the master now.
There's this whole deal where I get to be immortal.
You cool with that? Take me to him.
Come on, Xander.
This isn't funny.
Master? I deliver the Slayer.
She who you most desire.
Sorry.
"Whom".
Now comes the immortality, right? You do the thing Leave us.
We must not be interrupted.
You bet.
I knew you'd come.
Why? Because I'm under your thrall? Well, guess again, pal.
- Put the stake down.
- OK.
Right.
That was notyou.
I did that because I wanted to.
Maybe I should rethinkthat thrall thing.
I've lived in Sunnydale a couple of years now.
Know what I've never noticed before? - A castle? - A big honkin' castle.
Stay away from me.
Are you afraid I will bite you? Slayer, that's why you came.
No.
Last night It's not gonna happen again.
Stop me.
Stake me.
I Any minute now.
Do you know why you cannot resist? Cos you're famous? Because you do not want to.
- My friends are - They're here.
They will not find us.
We are alone.
Always alone.
There is so much I have to teach you.
Your history.
Your power.
Whatyour body is capable of.
- I don't need to know.
- You long to.
And you will have eternity to discover yourself.
But first, a little taste.
I won't letyou.
I didn't mean for me.
Nobody harms my master.
- Your master? - You want him? You come through me.
Okey-dokey.
Good show, Giles.
At leastyou didn't get knocked out for a change.
Ladies.
You would be the three sisters, yes? Excellent.
Right.
I'd heard thatyou were a myth.
Obviously erroneous.
That tickles.
Oh, dear God.
- What are you? - All these years fighting us, your power so near to our own.
And you've never once wanted to know what it is that we fight for? Never even a taste? - If I drinkthat - I have not drunk enough for you to change.
You must be near death to become one of us.
And that comes only when you plead for it.
- I'm not hungry.
- No.
Your craving goes deeper than that.
You think you know whatyou are, what's to come.
You haven't even begun.
Find it.
The darkness.
Find your true nature.
Wow.
That was gross.
You are resisting.
- Looks like.
- Come here.
Come to me.
You know, I really thinkthe thrall has gone out of our relationship.
But I wanna thank you for opening up my eyes a little.
- What is this? - My true nature.
You want a taste? Buffy? Are you in? Giles.
- Come on.
Grab my hand.
- Thank God you came.
Come on.
There was no possible escape.
My shoe.
Silly me, I'll just pop No, sir.
No more chickpit for you.
Come on.
A guy like you should think about going electric.
Seriously.
How do you like my darkness now? Buffy.
You OK? Yeah.
Chock-full of free will.
And Dracula? Eurotrashed.
Where's the creep that turned me into a spider-eating man-bitch? He's gone.
Dammit.
You know what? I'm sick of this crap.
I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis.
As of this moment, it's over.
I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey.
Check.
No more butt-monkey.
At leastyou weren't makin' time with the Dracu-babes, like Giles here.
I was not.
I was about to kill those loathsome creatures when Riley interrupted me.
Really? You were gonna nuzzle 'em to death? Of course not.
I was in complete control.
You think I don't watch your movies? You always come back.
I'm standing right here.
- You wanted to see me? - Yes.
Thanks for coming.
- Can I offer you some tea? - No, thanks.
Cookies.
How come I rate little-cookie treatment? Well, actually, I have something to tell you.
Actually, I have something that I'd like to talkto you about, too.
Well, you go first, by all means.
- No, go ahead.
- No, I insist.
You haven't been my watcher for a while.
I haven't been training and I haven't really needed to come to you for help.
I agree.
And then this whole thing with Dracula.
It made me face up to some stuff.
Ever since we did that spell where we called on the first slayer, I've been going out a lot.
- Every night.
- Patrolling? Hunting.
That's what Dracula called it.
And he was right.
He understood my power better than I do.
He saw darkness in it.
I need to know more.
About where I come from.
About the other slayers.
Maybe if I can learn to control this thing, I could be stronger.
I could be better.
But I'm scared.
I know it's gonna be hard.
And I can't do it withoutyou.
I need your help.
I need you to be my watcher again.
Boy, I just keep talkin', don't I? I'm sorry.
You had something you wanted to say? No.
It's nothing.
Riley and I are going to the movies.
OK.
Have a good time.
What are you doing here? Buffy? If you're going out, why don'tyou take your sister? Mom!