Cold Feet (1997) s05e01 Episode Script

She's fine So fine Said she's fine, mm So fine Love her just the way she be - Well, well, it's good to know l've still got it.
- What's that, then? Animal magnetism.
Women keep giving me the eye.
That's not you, you prat.
lt's him.
Daddy! Hey, Joshy! Karen Hi.
Gosh, l wasn't expecting this.
How was Frankfurt? Not as good as the welcome home.
Rach.
Hi.
Adam.
Great.
l'm overwhelmed.
Well, it's nice to be met, isn't it? - When you've been abroad for a while.
- l only went yesterday.
So you haven't been away as long as Pete and Jo, then? - They've been away a couple of months? - Three, actually.
Just think of the welcome they'll get when they come home.
Oh, right Wahey! Hi! KAREN: Lovely to see you.
- Ooh, the baby.
ADAM: You look like a fool.
- Hi, love.
- Hello.
Thanks for coming to meet us, guys.
David, thanks for taking time off from the office.
- To be honestyou're welcome, Pete.
- Cheers.
- Right, we're this way.
- All right.
- See you, Pete.
- See you.
- Bye, Karen.
- See you, Rach.
See you, Pete.
- Have you got your car here? - l left it at the office.
l thought l'd get a cab.
Well, l could give you a lift if you like.
lt's not really worth it now.
Well, home, then.
Yeah.
ALL: Bye! Bye! There we go.
- Home, sweet home.
- Hey, not so fast.
Not so fast.
- What? - l'm supposed to carry you over the threshold.
- Pete! - lt's tradition and it's romantic.
- OK.
- Great.
- Sorry! Sorry! - Shit! - Are you all right? - No, l'm bloody not.
Let's have a look.
l'll kiss it better.
That's great.
The painting.
Ramona, we're back.
- We saw Daddy.
- Did you? - We gave him a lift home.
- Ooh (News story on TV) Here, you left these on the stairs.
(Groans) lt's gonna be weird being in here instead of the spare room.
- You're my missus now, not my lodger.
- So l can stop paying you rent? You weren't thinking of having that side? ls that a problem? No Pete, l'm hearing yes.
lt's just l usually sleep on the right-hand side.
- Well, you didn't when we were in Australia.
- lt's like the water going down the plughole.
Once you cross the Equator, it's the opposite.
No, l always sleep on that side.
Why? Cos l always have.
Jenny liked that side.
Oh, l see.
So what you're saying is l can't sleep on the right, which l always do, because your ex-wife liked to sleep on the left? No, no, it's just l'm just used to it, that's all.
Well, l guess it's not that big a deal.
RACHEL: l'm not sure about this.
ADAM: lt's time he was in his own room.
He's only three-and-a-half months.
Exactly.
He's old enough to stand on his own two feet.
He can't stand.
Metaphorically.
Look, we'll be right next door, the door will be open, we'll have his monitor on.
- lf he cries, we'll be aware of it before he is.
- (Monitor beeps) Come on.
Come on.
(Static) God, it seems ages since it was just the two of us.
lt's not just the two of us, is it? No, l know, l know, l know, but lt doesn't matter.
l missed this.
So have you had any more thoughts about the naming ceremony? - We're not having him christened.
- Rach, l don't know.
- lt's very Woman's Hour.
Know what l mean? - No, l think it will be nice.
- Because otherwi - OK! Yeah.
Whatever.
- Lovely.
- Thanks, love.
- (Baby gurgles) - What was that? ADAM: l didn't hear anything.
- Oh, my God! No, Rachel, he's asleep.
You know, he just moved.
lt's what normal, healthy, live babies do.
- Sorry.
- lt's OK.
(Baby cries) Hello! l've given him a little feed, so he should be all right now.
Won't you, my love? KAREN: Don't forget to brush their teeth.
DAVlD: Of course.
- And the girls need supervising.
- Karen.
Sorry.
Right Do you mind if we switch my night to Tuesday next week? Our arrangement is that you have them on Wednesdays.
No, our arrangement is that l have them one night a week.
Thus far it's been Wednesdays, but next week l have to take some clients to dinner.
Yeah, of course, sorry.
That's fine.
Fine.
Thanks.
Right, girls, be good for Daddy.
l'll see you tomorrow.
Tell me.
Have you got yourself a lawyer yet? For the divorce? No, l thought it was going to be straightforward.
lt is but, still, l think it's probably best to have a lawyer to handle all the forms.
Right.
A lawyer.
Know any good ones? Well, ours.
Right.
No l think you should have him.
l can easily find another one.
- David, are you sure? - Yes, sure.
Yeah, like we said, you know, try and make this divorce as .
.
amicable as possible.
Thank you.
l appreciate that.
Well, Ramona will drop Josh off after swimming.
Don't let him stay up too late.
Karen Sorry.
THE UNDERTONES: Teenage Kicks Great song.
The Undertones.
Great band.
People will try and tell you that The Jam were the most important group of the '80s.
That's bollocks.
They will also try and tell you that Feargal Sharkey was the man.
Not true.
John O'Neill, God in human form.
Teenage Kicks, l had my first .
.
snog to that song.
What do you think? Ah Batteries not included, eh? Maybe it's a bit sophisticated for you.
Ah! l have the very thing for you.
Slade.
Hi, are you here for the class? Yeah.
lf you'd like to jump in with the other ladies.
- Why? - We're ready to start.
Which class you think l here for exactly? Which class are you here for? No, l asked first.
Pregnant women? Hmm? - Well, l'm one short and you were here.
- What? You think l look pregnant? No, of course not.
You could be, a couple of weeks.
Without an internal, it's hard to say.
No, l'm with him.
- So, you were pregnant once.
- No.
l'm his nanny.
Then no plans to l've still got a couple of places left.
Sorry.
Oh, well.
Still, l'll probably see you around.
l work as a lifeguard here as well.
Ah, but l'm not a member.
His parents are.
When l bring him, l go swim.
l don't think nobody mind.
l'll just have to hope that he needs a lot of lessons.
Right, then, ladies, let's get started.
Joshy! You are doing so good, you know? More's the pity.
PETE: There she is, the woman that spawned me.
Are you nervous about meeting her for the first time? No! Why, should l be? (China clinks) Audrey, do you need any help? No, no, no.
You sit there.
Get to know each other.
Well, it's lovely to finally get to meet you, Jo.
We never had the chance before you were married.
lt all happened very quickly, Mum.
Didn't it? Nowl want to hear all about it.
What was the wedding like? Was it a big affair? - No, very small.
- Well, about 50 guests.
50? PETE: l didn't think you'd want to travel all that way.
You know You get sick on the bus into town.
That was very considerate of you, Peter.
Don't you think so, Jenny? Jo Well, anyone for tea? - (Door opens) - Hi, Ramona.
Did you drop Josh off OK? Yeah, yeah.
Fine.
Karen, l meet someone at the health club.
He a lifegod.
- A what? - He was so fit.
- You know, l think he like me.
- Really? That's nice.
You know, many, many nannies, they're members of the health club.
- Really? - Mm.
l think l'd like to be one too.
That's nice, Ramona, if you think you can afford it.
Ah! But, you see, these nannies, their employers pay.
As part of their package.
Their package? - Terms of employment.
- Yeah, Ramona, l know what that means.
l'm just surprised you do.
Anything else you fancy? - Pension? Life insurance? - No.
Just the membership.
Nice try, Ramona, but no can do.
You'll have to ask David.
David?! l'm sorry, Ramona.
l'm sure there are plenty more lifegods in the sea.
- He's got Adam's eyes, hasn't he? - So you don't think it's conjunctivitis? That yellow stuff.
That's just a bit of sleep, isn't it? That's what the paediatrician said.
Still, what do they know, eh? Right, coffee Yeah.
You can over-worry with your first baby.
Yeah.
l mean, some mothers.
l'm glad l'm not like that.
- Listen, we've only got instant.
- lt's fine.
On the other hand, you can't take your eyes off them for a second.
He's so tiny.
Houses are death traps.
Anything could happen.
Like what, Rach? Well, for example l can't even bring myself to think about it.
How's he sleeping? - ln our bed.
- Still? - l thought you were going to move him out.
- So did l.
Rachel has other ideas.
At this rate, l'll have to wait until he's at university.
You'll have to act sooner than that.
What about your sex life? What sex life? l always fancied three in a bed.
Not like this, though.
But what can l do? - Well, maybe you should surprise her one night.
- He'd wake up.
Why don't you arrange baby-sitting? Take her out to dinner? The sooner, the better, cos you know what they say, once the sex dies, the marriage isn't long to follow.
How's little Adam? My grandson.
l never see him.
Pete's first wife took him to America.
He's fine.
Sends his love.
Hmm! You have a lovely place here.
Well, it would be if not for the neighbours.
Why, what's wrong with them? They're allold.
- Mum, it's sheltered accommodation.
- Yes, but they all behave old.
They're always complaining.
Getting up petitions.
- About what? - Me, mainly.
l had a dog.
Cantona.
A lovely animal.
Barked a lot.
l had to have her put down.
Because she barked? No, she was run over.
That was the first petition.
About her barking.
Dead dogs don't bark.
l was very fond of that dog, Peter.
Sorry.
Then that next-door neighbour.
She is blaming me for hoovering.
- Hoovering? - Wellduring the night.
l can't sleep.
lt's my arthritis.
- l find hoovering helps.
- You're welcome to come to our place.
Do you mean that? Cos they've asked me to leave.
Find somewhere else.
You're being evicted? lt won't take me long to pack.
- What did you have to do that for? - What? - lnvite her to stay.
- l didn't realise l had.
JO: Well, she seemed to get the impression.
Pete, this isn't a good idea.
We've only been married two minutes.
l thought we'd leave it a little longer before we started a family.
- Then say something.
- l can't.
She's my mother.
- You do it.
- l can't.
She's your mother.
Just give it a couple of days.
l'll find her somewhere else.
l'll ride in the front, if that's all right.
The back seat makes me sick.
(Mouths) The first 50 pages are fantastic.
After that, the whole thing falls apart.
Needed a better editor.
Hi.
Hello.
- So, long time, no see.
- Yeah, three months.
Last time l saw you, l seem to remember you were - that's it - walking away.
ls this really no good? lt's ages since l read a good book.
Been ages since l published one.
Your wife's did quite well.
Yeah, yeah.
Marvellous.
She's doing another one.
A different publisher.
You lookfantastic.
Seriously, l was standing up there debating whether or not to come down and talk to you.
l'm glad you did.
Yes, so am l.
So how have you been? You know.
No, l don't know.
l was going to phone you, but l didn't think it was appropriate.
David and l have split up.
We're getting a divorce.
Oh, well, l'm sorry - if that's not what you wanted.
UmKaren, a slight confession to make.
l haven't actually read this particular book.
Just the reviews.
Been very busy.
l'll tell you what.
lf l buy it for you, you can tell me what you think.
Yes.
Yeah? - What about there? - There's no room.
Take that down.
l couldn't do that.
- Pete, this is our house now, right? - Yeah, of course.
Well, then, some of your things are going to have to go to make room for our things.
But my stuff is our stuff.
l mean, what's mine is yours.
OK, but l prefer this, which we bought together, to that, which we didn't.
Yeah, but that has been here since we moved in .
.
l moved in.
Look, my mum bought it for us.
What's that, son? This painting.
Ah, yes.
That was your wedding present, wasn't it? First time round.
Right, it's definitely coming down.
She'll be terribly upset.
Who? Your mum or Jenny? - Jenny never cared for it either.
- Well, two against one.
Oh, please! Pete, you're asking me to spend my evenings underneath a painting that l don't like that was a present to you and your first wife! Yes, bought by my mother.
Oh, Pete, while you're up, go and put the kettle on.
Your divorce lawyer was recommended by your husband? Hmm.
And that doesn't strike you as odd? No.
Karen, you and David are on opposing sides.
No, it's not like that.
We're divorcing amicably.
The lawyers will just handle it.
An amicable divorce is an oxymoron, actually.
Why do you think David recommended this guy? To save me the trouble? David says he's good.
He's known him for years.
Precisely.
They've probably got a history.
They're probably mates.
l don't think David has mates.
Well, golfing buddies, then.
My point is, they're close.
Look, Karen, amicable or not, you need someone who is going to put your interests first, not David's.
This guy is doing my divorce.
He is good.
- l really appreciate this, Ramona.
- That's OK.
l was only watching television tonight.
This way, l get paid.
lf Matthew wakes up, you'll have company.
Rachel's given him a feed so he should be fine, but you have my mobile number.
Huh-huh.
Rachel - she happy with all this, no? No.
l mean, yes.
- Well, she will be.
- But she do know l'm coming? Ramona, what are you doing here? Ramona's babysitting.
l've booked a table.
You've just got time to change.
What? Ramona's babysitting.
l've booked us a table.
- You've just got time to change.
- You haven't said anything about this.
lt wouldn't be a surprise.
The table's booked for 8:00.
- Oh, no, l can't go out.
- Not like that.
No, l mean l can't leave Matthew.
l'm not sure we should take him.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
Oh, can we leave this here as well? ''lt was a joke.
'' l was joking.
We haven't been out together for ages.
- We went to Buxton last weekend.
- With Matthew.
l meant just the two of us.
lt's never just the two of us any more.
ls this about him being in our bed? l just thought it would be nice to have some fun, you know.
Then, when we came home, we might have some more.
lt's like a date.
You buy dinner for me and l have to have sex with you.
No! You wouldn't have to.
- l'm thinking about our marriage.
- l just don't want to leave Matthew.
- You have to eat.
- No, Adam! No way! Well, this isn't too bad.
No, it's fine.
So, anyway Where was l? - The swimming pool.
- Ah, yes.
So l go there today and Lee, he not even there.
Because what they'd done is they change the time of Joshy's lesson, which means that l might not even see him no more.
That's terrible.
What do you think l should do? - Huh? - What? No, Jo, l can't.
- l feel funny.
- Oh, God.
- Was it my casserole? - No, no.
That's all cleared up now.
lt's having my mum in the next room.
Pete, l'm sure her hearing's not that good.
lt doesn't have to be.
She's always had thissixth sense.
Peter, what are you doing in there? Sorry.
Wow, the honeymoon really is over.
Great (Sighs) (Hoover hums) What the hell is that? Pete.
- What? - She's hoovering.
At three o'clock in the morning.
Can l take a look at the book, please? Thanks.
- Mr Marsden? - Sorry, took me ages to find a cab.
Please come this way.
The traffic was dreadful.
Bumper to bumper.
So frustrating when you're stuck in a jam, conscious of the meter ticking over.
The meter's running already? l'm only ten minutes late.
No, l meant the taxi.
Please do go in.
Would you like coffee? Thanks, yeah.
Milk, no sugar.
David Marsden.
So sorry l'm late.
Two coffees, please, Martin, and no calls.
Sorry, l should have introduced myself.
Robyn Duff.
No, no.
l'm sorry.
- My mistake entirely.
- lt's one that many people make.
Though rarely twice.
Mrs Marsden.
Wellnot for much longer.
lndeed.
Now, then, your husband is filing for divorce, l understand.
On what grounds, exactly? Adultery.
Not that he's a stranger to it himself.
Sorry, David was unfaithful to me about 1 8 months ago.
l see, and how do you feel about that? Well, l was pretty pissed off at the time.
No, l mean how do you feel about the fact that he's citing your adultery? lt's a bit rich, isn't it? He did it first.
But, hey, l'm the woman.
Of course l'm the guilty party.
Well, unless you counter sue.
Sue for divorce on the grounds of his adultery.
Can l do that? Yes, you can, and l can help you.
- Coffee? - Yes, please.
Well, naturally, l want to provide for my children.
And do right by Karen.
Give her everything she's entitled to.
We had many happy years together.
l want the settlement to reflect that, not just the dreadful few months that led to the demise of our marriage.
l've had other clients who have taken that view, Mr Marsden.
Not many.
One, in particular, who insisted upon it.
He wanted to maintain his wife and children in the comfort - to which they'd become accustomed.
- Yes.
Exactly.
He now has to earn £1 00,000 before he can buy himself a cup of tea.
Good grief.
How much does he earn? A little bit more than that.
Not much.
Not enough.
So are you still feeling quite as charitable? (Rings) Hello? Oh, just a minute.
Mum, you don't have to do that.
- Oh, thank you, son.
- No, l mean answer the phone.
lt's not for you.
Jo, telephone! JO: Coming.
The bed won't make itself.
Thanks.
- l'll put the meal on.
- lt's OK, l'll do it.
Hello? Jo? Hi, it's meRamona.
Listen.
You know the health club where you work? Adam tells me it is Ashdown Lodge, no? Yeah, that's right.
ls it possible that you could get me a membership there? For free? - You want to get fit? - Yeah.
Maybe.
They don't give us free memberships.
Probably can't even get a discount.
But l could smuggle you into my aerobics class.
Ah, but, you see, it's swimming l like.
- Aerobics isjust as good.
- But it's swimming l like.
Well, there is a council pool.
Oh OK, not to worry.
Thank you very much.
Goodbye.
(Crashing) l thought when we had a baby, life would just be wonderful.
Whatever gave you that idea? Television, l suppose.
Especially the ads.
Well, the first year is hell.
Come to think of it, the next two years aren't much better.
Then, not long after that, your wife leaves you and takes the kid with her.
Don't joke about it.
- l wasn't.
- Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Still, at least you got your life back.
- Missing your freedom, are you? - No, l'm missing Rachel.
She's like this mad person.
Not so much.
Always on edge.
She doesn't mother him, she smothers him.
l don't get a look in.
She just doesn't have time for me.
You know what they say.
Two's company, three's a crowd.
Especially when the third is Pete's mum.
lt's not like l've got anything against her.
l guess we do always have clean clothes.
- But it's justshe's always there, you know? - lt must be difficult for you to be yourself.
JO: Pete's reverted to being her little boy.
He won't let me touch him.
lt's putting a tremendous strain on us.
Oh, really? Are you rowing? We would but it's hard to shout at somebody when you've got to speak in whispers.
l've tried leaving details of sheltered accommodation around.
- She doesn't seem to get the message.
- (Baby gurgles) Jo, will you stop doing that please? - Why? He loves it.
Don't you? - No, stop it.
Stop it! He obviously doesn't like doing it.
Shaken Baby Syndrome.
Sorry.
What?! - You're suing me for divorce? Why? - Because you committed adultery, David.
lf you think about it, that caused the breakdown of our marriage.
- Look, it's a formality.
lt doesn't mean anything.
- Then why do it? Who the hell is Tom Bradshaw? He's not our lawyer.
No, l know.
l was advised to get my own.
- Who by? - Karen? Ellie's banged her knee on something.
KAREN: Oh, darling.
- You Hello there, David.
Get your hands off my daughter.
What's he doing here? David, he was passing.
- l bet you've been seeing him all along.
- No, l haven't.
MARK: David - Shut up! l've nothing to say to you.
Or you for that matter.
David David! There you go.
Go and play in there.
Good girl.
l'm sorry.
l had no idea it was going to be David.
lt's not your fault.
Anyway, it's probably a good thing he knows.
These are beautiful.
Good thing he knows what? That we're seeing each other again.
We are going to, aren't we? Oh, yes.
l missed you.
Mummy, l'm hungry.
OK, l'm onto it.
(Hoover hums) - Pete.
- What? Your mum.
She's hoovering again.
Audrey.
Audrey! Hello, dear.
Can't you sleep either? l'll do that in the morning.
lt doesn't need doing.
lt's my arthritis.
lt's terrible.
Keeps me awake.
Hmm, me too.
Really? Well, you're so youn Oh, l see.
This isn't really working out, is it? You'd like me to leave, wouldn't you? No.
No, you can stay as long as you want.
You're very sweet.
Not very good at lying, mind.
l'm sorry.
lt's justwell, Pete and l haven't been married very long.
Yeah, it all happened quite quickly, didn't it? - You don't approve? - Oh, well.
When l was young, you were engaged for at least a year.
You had to save up.
Nowadays, people get married at the drop of a hat.
And divorced as easily.
You must miss your grandson.
l do love Pete, you know.
He's very lucky.
You're a lovely girl.
Much nicer than Jenny.
You won't hurt him, will you? Of course l won't.
He's all l have.
(Baby cries) Nice here, innit? Bit crowded.
Well, go to your own room.
You thought her ex was the last threat, didn't you? You know about him? We talk.
Anyway, you're wrong.
- You know she's got another bloke? - No.
Who? - Me, you moron.
She loves me.
- Well, l love you.
But she loves me.
You don't even come close.
- Bollocks.
- Yeah, you're right.
lf she had to make the choice, you would win hands down.
As if! - What are you doing? - Need more room.
- Cut it out, will you? - Coming through.
Adam, what are you doing? He kicked me out of bed.
Don't be ridiculous.
Look, if you can't sleep properly, go and sleep in the nursery, but don't wake us up.
OK, love.
What are we going to do about your sleeping? Have you been to see your doctor? Oh, that man is hopeless.
How can you train for six years and know nothing? He's put me on pills.
Green ones, yellow ones, blue ones.
None of them are any good.
All they do is bung me up.
Have you ever considereddrugs? - l told you.
Green ones, yellow ones.
- Marijuana.
Cannabis.
Dear God! You and Peter, you're not drug addicts, are you? No! No! Well, l mean, l have tried it.
And Peter? l don't think l should answer that for him.
Do you? You're a good girl.
Despite your drug habit.
l can't guarantee that it will cure your arthritis, but it might help you sleep.
Where do you get it from? Adam, usually.
Adam? Such a nice boy! A drug dealer? No, he gets it from someone else.
That's how it works.
Sodo you want to try it? - This takes me back.
- Not that far.
A lifetime ago.
Here, let me get my breasts out.
Rachel, steady on! What? Don't you think it's a bit public? - Can you not wait until we get home? - He's hungry now.
- Who? - Matthew! What did you think l meant? Oh, he's a beauty.
So are you, sweetheart.
Pete, l am telling you, this drop-dead gorgeous woman was coming on to me.
- Because of Matthew.
- Yeah, l know.
l know.
The babe is a babe magnet.
- How old is he? - He's just over three months.
- Your first? - Actually, he's my sister's.
She's a single mum and l like to help out sometimes.
- Really? - Mmm - Not that l can take advantage of it.
- Not that you'd want to.
(Opens can) Wouldn't l? Do you have any of your own? No.
Not yet.
You have to find the father first, don't you? Yes.
And then there's all the practice.
That's the best part, isn't it? - (Tuts) - No, of course l wouldn't! l still miss it, you know, the old ha-ha, but l miss Rachel more.
- l live near here.
- Hmmm - (Mobile rings) - Oh, sorry.
lt's his mum.
Probably wondering where we've got to.
Oh, well.
No.
- You tosser.
- Shut it! Rach.
- Where are you? - l'm in the park.
l took Matthew for a walk.
- Have you got his coat on? - Yeah.
Well, then, why have l got it here? Because l bought him a new one.
l don't know why.
Listen, don't be long.
He'll need his feed soon, all right? Bye.
Right.
Mothercare.
lt's likeshe died giving birth and this stranger took her place.
- Well, it gets better.
- When? - (Door opens) - Honey, l'm home.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Oh, hey, Adam.
How's it going? Oh, you know.
Parenthood.
Erwell, actually, no, l don't.
Mm.
ErmPete, your mum wants to have a word with you.
What? Now? l don't know.
But tell her l'm with Adam and l'm sure she'll think of something.
- Eh? - Well, go on.
She's in the bathroom.
And don't forget to knock.
(Knocking) AUDREY: l'm in the bath.
- Mum, Jo said you wanted a word with me.
- What about? - l don't know, she didn't say.
- And Adam's here.
- Adam? Oh, stay there a minute.
- (Splashing) - Don't go away.
No.
Mum, towel! Oh, sorry! (Giggles) Erml'm all out at the minute.
ls this for you and Pete? Can you keep a secret? You know me.
Yeah.
Well, he mustn't know.
lt's a surprise to celebrate our anniversary.
Our 1 4-week anniversary.
Rightright.
Do you like your new toy, Joshy? - Yes, it's great.
- You'd better press Pause.
Tea's nearly ready.
(Doorbell) - Oh, hi, Ramona.
- Hi, David.
Sorry l'm a little late.
Ah, no problem.
Wow, who had the birthday? So how's things at home? Mark's around, is he? David, l don't know.
Maybe.
Come on, children.
Vamos.
- No, they're staying here tonight.
- Sorry? Dinner was cancelled, so they can stay.
But it's not your night, is it? l always l always have Wednesdays.
Yeah, but two nights.
Does Karen know about this? - You can tell her when you get back.
- Oh, David, l don't know.
You know, maybe l phone her.
ErRamona .
.
l am their father.
Karen mentioned that you wanted to join our health club.
Yeah.
Yeah.
David, are you trying to bribe me? No, Ramona.
No, it's a reward.
A reward for good service.
lf l was trying to bribe you, l'd be offering you money for information about how often Karen is seeing that man.
Times and places and so forth.
l don't know if you needmoney.
David, l will not be your spy.
However, l will take your message to Karenthis time.
But that's it, OK? And er l will have membership of the health club, thank you very much.
(Sniffs) David, l can smell something burning.
Bugger! JO: Audrey, you know you didn't have to come with me.
l'm not letting you go wandering off into some drug den on your own, young lady.
Especially when it's on my account.
Are you sure this is the place? Well, Adam did say a minicab company off the Seaport Road.
Yeah, but this isn't the only one.
lt is behind an lndian restaurant.
JO: Right.
This should tell us.
(Buzzer) Bingo.
That's the place.
- How can you be sure? - Well, they arrived by car and they left by car.
Obviously they weren't booking a cab.
OK, you wait here.
l'll just be a few minutes.
- OK? - All right.
Sodo you need a hand with the washing-up, then? l was going to leave it until tomorrow, actually.
So was l.
Markyou can't stay.
Why? Cos of the kids? Partly, yeah.
l just l don't want to rush into things.
Again.
Well Having paid the price for not respecting that wish last time (Door opens) - Hi.
- Hi.
- Where are the children? - David's.
He wanted them to stay another night.
What? What if they think you want a taxi? Audrey! Adam said we have to ask for Grandad.
Who? Unless he was winding me up.
(Buzzer) Yes? Oh, hi l'm here to see Grandad.
Step under the light.
You're having a laugh? No.
No.
We're deadly serious.
And a little bit frightened, if we're honest.
Let them in.
Hi.
Erwe're here to see Grandad.
Take a seat.
Hi.
l'm Jo and this is my grandma, Grandad! l don't need to know your names.
We're here to buy some dope.
Colombian gold.
Panama red.
Thai stick.
And hydroponic.
ls that organic? lt's powerful, is what it is.
Will lift your roof off.
No.
l don't think so.
How about some of the Colombian? l like their coffee.
This is for you? l can't sleep.
Old age.
l'm the same, you know.
A smoke before bed really does the trick.
ls 20 a bag.
But, since it's for your gran, we'll say ten.
- Call ita pensioner's discount.
- (Audrey giggles) Can you feel anything yet? - My toes.
- That's a good start.
You sure Peter won't find us? No.
No, l checked.
He's fast asleep.
You knowl used to smoke, when l was a factory girl.
Oh, but we did fancy ourselves.
So did the men.
(Both laugh) Ooh.
l could murder a chocolate biscuit.
(Door opens) Hiya.
Are you coming up? Yeah.
ln a minute.
What? - Are you smoking a joint? - No.
My mother's in that kitchen.
l know.
Jo! l thought you wanted to make a good impression?! - Pete, don't worry.
- Jesus, l mean, Jenny drank, but this - Oh.
Jenny again.
- What? - Do you wish you were still married to her? - No.
But at least she didn't embarrass me in front of my own mother.
Well, not often.
Put it out.
Put it out! Peter, what are you doing up? Nothing.
And neither's Jo.
And that smell, it's incense.
Australian.
Don't be ridiculous.
- l asked Jo to roll it for me.
- To help her sleep.
Yeah.
And, do you know? l think it's doing the trick.
l can feel my joints relaxing.
Joints! (Giggles) (Both laugh) Makes you hungry though.
l thought you were asleep.
l couldn't.
Oh.