Girlfriends Guide To Divorce (2014) s05e01 Episode Script

1 Previously on "Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce" - I wasn't myself.
I was - [bell dings.]
Grieving your wife who you loved very much.
But it's hard for me to see because [sighs.]
I love you.
First contact since the funeral? - Thank you for checking in with me.
- I really needed this talk.
I could tell.
The text the other day had that SOS quality.
A tarot card reader informed Phoebe that a man from her past is coming back into her life.
Damien, can I buy you a coffee? The building right next to Rize is up for lease, and I might open up another business.
- You need a loan? - I can't afford this.
My offer still stands.
No strings.
- Hi.
- I'm here about the listing, the guest house.
When did you get out? - Is that my nephew? - Tony, I need you to get out.
So, looks like this is happening.
How do you feel about it? Terrified.
I heard you had a bit of a fainting spell.
Delia, what do you want? I would make a terrible mother.
- [energetic music.]
- [party chatter.]
[cameras clicking.]
Hey, take a breath.
Isn't it a little fast? I mean Screw the spreadsheet.
Screw the waiting.
Screw the planning.
Let's just be ballsy about it.
It'll be good.
Sweetheart, that's your problem.
Paparazzi: Abby, Abby! Hi, this way.
[inaudible.]
[photographers shouting.]
Delia.
Wait When did this happen? Just before I came here.
Oh, God, I just I can't breathe.
- In and out.
In and out.
- What happened with you two? Did he leave? I don't want to talk about it.
- Talk about what? - I don't want to talk about it.
We need to focus on Delia here.
This is a real problem.
We need to find Delia someplace to sit.
We need to get you some water.
This was supposed to be a fun night out.
- [song ends.]
- [groans.]
[alarm beeping.]
[sighs.]
Oh, God.
We have to get up.
Five more minutes.
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
We should just tell him.
[Abby laughs.]
It's part of your mental Excel spreadsheet, isn't it? The exact date, when exactly the right amount of time has passed, and the moment is exactly My spreadsheets are a thing of beauty.
- You shouldn't mock them.
- So I hear.
Hey, Mom, where's my gray shirt with the black sleeve? Oh, Charlie, you've got to knock.
- The door was open.
- Hey, buddy, we were just Mike was too tired to drive after dinner, so he slept over.
Mom, he's your boyfriend.
How dumb do you think am I? I know you guys do sleepovers.
[laughs.]
[sighs.]
- [rewind sound.]
- U.
C.
Davis, really? Okay, well Mr.
Meyers said you should apply to at least seven colleges.
Oh, my God.
It literally goes over me like a wave.
College, my baby.
Davis has a great business management program.
It's going to help me get into event planning.
What, like throwing parties? That's not a job.
I think that's a great career option for you, Lil.
- Thank you, Mike.
- Why aren't Simone - and Asher here? - They're at their mom's.
- Oh.
- Eat some broccoli, Two-Eight.
Play-offs coming up.
Get strong.
There it is.
Anyway, how are things with Lilly and Simone? Any thaw yet? - Yeah, they're getting there.
- Yeah? - Thawing.
- [laughs.]
You know, they've recently been bonding about how much they both hate Madonna.
- Not Madge.
- Yes.
Oh, so "Redbook" magazine is hosting an event at the Park Plaza in a few months, and Laina thinks we should buy a table.
Aren't those tables like $10,000? It's a good investment.
Lady Parts should be present at things like this.
We can invite the girls, make a night of it.
Remember how relaxed I was just a few seconds ago? Can we please have some cronuffins, STAT? - Okay.
- And coffee please.
- Hi.
- It's so busy.
Busy every day, my lovelies.
Gratitude, but stress like I have never known.
Well, I still think you made the right decision.
- [clattering.]
- Oh! Oh Opah! [laughter and applause.]
Everything's fine.
Coffee's on the house.
Namaste.
[rewind sound.]
- [soft pop music.]
- What'cha doing down there? Hey, the drain was leaking.
Needed to replace the P-trap.
- I think I got it.
- Can you say that again? What part? The part where you're fixing something that I didn't even know was broken.
And you're not making a federal case out of it.
Surrounded by nuts and bolts and screws.
Wait, I thought you had to get to work.
I am getting to work.
- Oh.
- Look at that.
Oh, my gosh.
You still got some chocolate on you.
[kissing.]
Yummy.
I have to go to work.
What are you doing today? [sighs.]
More house shopping.
I'm worn out just thinking about it.
Why? Where are you looking? Calabasas.
Don't be a snob.
There's a yard and a pool.
The Kardashians live in Calabasas.
You could run into any one of them at any time.
- [laughs.]
- Come on.
Why don't you move over to my side of the hill? The dollar goes pretty far in the Valley.
Yeah, the dollar.
It's stretchy.
Wow, I thought the girls were doing better with each other.
Two steps forward, one step back.
They'll be fine.
Hey, I heard about a very interesting job opportunity today.
Oh, really? I didn't know you were looking.
Well, it kind of fell into my lap.
It's with the Dodgers in corporate working with marketing and strategy.
Wow, my God.
That's amazing.
Yeah, and it'd be a big step up money-wise.
I might be able to nab that place on South Beverly Drive I told you about.
On the Abby-approved side of the hill.
That's incredible.
How did that even come about? Colette, actually.
Oh.
How did what did you Well, you know she works for the Dodgers Foundation.
Right, yes.
The Education and Literacy.
Right, so I guess there was a big meeting with the owners, and one of 'em asked about me, what I was doing and so forth and would I be interested.
So you okay? - Oh, yeah, I'm good.
- It's a massive organization.
- We wouldn't even be on the same floor.
- No, Mike, come on.
It's great.
It was very nice of her.
So, yay! Yeah.
Hey, guys, no phones at the table.
This isn't a phone.
[energetic music.]
Can we just change the subject? Let's talk about Abby and Mike.
What is going on with the job situation? He's on his third interview, and he's pretty much got it locked up.
So, he is pumped.
[laughs.]
Good.
He'll finally be able to afford the house that he really wanted and, you know Whatever.
I'm so excited.
Really? Because you seemed more excited about your mammogram last month.
- [Phoebe laughs.]
- Did I? Well, mammograms are very important.
Abby, it's the Dodgers.
It's a massive corporation, it's not like I know, but why? Why now? Why is she trying to interfere? You know, she's really got me over a barrel here because if I say that it bothers me, then I'm being petty.
And if don't say anything, then I'm a coward.
Eh, I don't know that it's that binary.
I'm just trying to be more open and more spontaneous and, you know, more flexible.
But this is really pushing me to limit.
- Hey, ladies.
- Hey, where have you been? I haven't seen you in weeks.
What's going on? Wow, tummy trouble going on there? Just stress.
Calgon [kissing.]
Take me away.
I know I should say something to Mike.
I just don't know exactly what I should say, you know.
Hey, are you coming to the "Redbook" party because it would be a great distraction for you.
Yes, wouldn't miss it for the world.
[rewind sound.]
- [knocking.]
- Coming, coming, coming.
[sighs.]
Hey, handsome.
Where are your keys? Well, I am picking you up for a proper date knocking on the door like a gentleman.
That's very cute.
Zip me up.
[both sighing.]
[kissing sounds.]
So, I got an official offer today from the Dodgers.
Oh, great.
And? It's good.
Not as good as I would have liked, but I talked to Colette and she says it's the best I can hope for.
So, I think I can make it work.
Still afford one of these places I liked.
A second mortgage maybe.
Come on.
Don't want you to be late for your big event.
Yeah, it's exciting.
Lady Parts on the "Redbook" red carpet.
All right, do this.
[energetic music.]
[party chatter.]
I have lived in Los Angeles my entire adult life, and I have to say the red carpet never gets old.
Yeah, well, we better come away from this with at least $10,000 worth of power and influence.
- [laughs.]
- Hey, ladies, - can I get you a drink? - Oh, sure.
Oh, my God.
That's Meredith Rollins, Editor in Chief of "Redbook" magazine.
We have to go there, and we have to - pitch her an idea.
- Uh, what are we - gonna say exactly? - I have no idea.
Just follow my lead.
- Meredith Rollins.
- Hi.
We are Abby McCarthy and Barbara Sawyer from Lady Parts.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
I love Lady Parts.
Well, we love "Redbook.
" - Bought a whole table.
- Great, thank you.
You know what? You should do a feature on us.
I mean, I know you have that whole annual issue for women who make a difference.
And we are two experienced writers and CEOs, and we've created this space for women who want their mid-life to be as amazing and beautiful as it should be.
Well, you've never written for me, and I don't really know you.
But I like how ballsy you are.
Call my office on Monday, and we'll figure something out.
Thank you.
Um, did she just call us ballsy? Because I've literally never been called ballsy in my entire life.
- Felt good, right? - Ladies.
- Hi.
- Thanks for that.
Here you go.
- What's that? - That is an appletini.
That is not a real drink.
Abby McCarthy.
Who's your date? This is Mike Brady, former shortstop for the Kansas City Royals.
- Right this way, you guys.
- Great.
Is this gonna be - your first step and repeat? - No.
I've been to a few red carpet events.
- With Colette? - Yeah.
Hello, everyone, I have Abby McCarthy and Mike Brady.
- Hi, thank you.
- [paparazzi shouting.]
I want you to move in with me.
What? With me.
With me and the kids.
Us, you, and your kids, all of us all together.
Don't get the house in Calabasas or Beverly Hills or wherever.
Oh, take a breath.
Isn't it a little fast? - I mean - I'm in love with you, Mike.
I wanna wake up and see your face.
I don't wanna see you pack a bag and leave.
[paparazzi calling.]
- Hey, what - Screw it.
Screw the spreadsheets.
Screw the waiting.
Screw the planning.
Let's just be ballsy about it.
It'll be good.
Sweetheart, that's your problem.
[mouthing words.]
[photographers chattering.]
Delia.
[Darrell sighs.]
Coffee in bed? - What did I do to deserve this? - - You're a nice man.
- Hell, I'm not that nice.
[both laugh.]
- Your coffee's going to get cold.
- That's all right.
We'll microwave it.
- You funny.
- And you love me.
- You love me.
- Come on, let me show you how much.
- Please, sir.
- Let's count the ways.
- Me love you long time.
- Oh, okay.
[snoring.]
[snoring.]
[snoring loudly.]
I'm telling you, this is what happens.
"I love you" changes things - and not always in a good way.
- I think you're overreacting.
Every relationship goes through phases.
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe.
Anyway, how are things with Lilly and Simone? Any thaw yet? Yeah, they're getting there.
- Yeah? - Thawing.
[laughs.]
Mom.
Mom! Where's my phone? - I told you it was your responsibility - to keep track of it.
Go find it.
[doorbell rings.]
- I got it.
- Hey, man.
- Hey, what's up, Darrell? - How are you, man? - I'm good.
Good.
Good.
You catch that Kings game last night? You know, I was actually there.
- What? No shit.
- Yeah.
A guy at work, he won some season tickets in the lottery.
- Ha ho.
- Okay, time to go, Jordan! All right, yeah.
- Have a good weekend, Mom.
- You too, baby.
- Have fun, buddy.
- Hey, man, thanks.
- Good to see you.
- All right.
He was at the Kings game, babe.
[rewind sound.]
You know what, babe, I was thinking maybe you could stand to be a little nicer to your ex.
- Nicer to Leon? Please.
- No, I mean, look.
Things are going good for you now.
You got Lady Parts.
You got a man.
I know it was shitty how things went down with him and your sister, but, I don't know, it's the way you ignore him.
You don't even say "Hello.
" I can't see that being good for Jordan.
You really do not need to tell me what's good for my son.
You're going to have to bury the hatchet one day.
I don't remember reading a hatchet clause in my divorce agreement.
I get to be mad at him until I'm dead.
You know what, you're absolutely right.
I just think it's petty, that's all.
Do you? Look, I don't want to fight about this, all right? Let's just go to sleep.
[clears throat.]
[rewind sound.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Jordan's not back yet.
He called.
I should've texted.
- They're going to be another hour.
- Oh.
Oh, okay.
Uh Guess I can come back.
You can wait here.
You want to come in for a coffee? You sure? - Phoebe.
- Mm-hmm.
I am so happy you're coming to the "Redbook" party.
- What are you going to wear? - I have no idea.
But I really need a fancy night out.
Babs, are you bringing your dime piece? - Who? Darrell? - Is there another boyfriend that we should know about? [groans.]
- Babs, what is going on? - Did I not get the memo? No, it's nothing like that, no.
Things have been getting a little I don't know.
Seems like being in love seems to me he thinks he can be all up in my business.
- Mmm.
- And now he's all "You should do this" and "You should do that" and "You should make peace with your ex.
" "You should check your behavior.
" - Check your behavior? - Yeah.
So, I was nicer to my ex.
To Leon? We had coffee.
Wow.
For Jordan.
It's not good for him, this cloud of hostility.
Yeah, no, I think it's very nice.
I think it's the right direction.
Why are you stalking your phone? I'm not.
- Is everything okay? - Yeah, everything's fine.
It's just that my brother stole my car.
[laughs.]
Yay! - Hi, Mom.
- Hi, baby.
- Can I go sleep over at Drew's? - - Were you invited? - Yeah, obviously.
- They're right next door.
- Let me text Brenda.
It's fine.
I already texted them.
[laughs.]
- That's your kid.
- Oh, my kid, huh? Okay.
- Yeah, he's a rolling stone.
- [sighs.]
Uh, you probably need a drink after a weekend of that.
Oh, yeah.
I'll take one.
- Your Manhattan, sir.
- Thank you.
Mmm.
Good.
I see you remembered my drink.
[laughs.]
Leon, we were married for eight years.
I know what you drink.
So, how are you and Darrell doing? Good.
Solid.
He's out of town.
Oh.
You guys? It's good.
No, things are difficult, B.
Always easier with you around.
[laughs.]
Gotta get up, I gotta get up, move What is that? That is an appletini.
That is not a real drink.
Hey, you doing okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
I just don't like pansy-ass drinks.
Well, you look beautiful.
- Did I say something wrong? - No, no, it's not you.
I'm just preoccupied.
Let me help.
Tell Dr.
D everything.
- Can you just stop? - Stop what? Stop being so nice.
- [unzipping.]
- Yeah, cool.
You got it.
- Gotta get up, I gotta get up, move - Gotta get up, I gotta get up, move Gotta get up, I gotta get up Okay, so the juice machines are gonna be over there right next to the counter.
The communal tables Boom, boom, boom right here.
Okay, all right here.
- We're gonna have the refrigeration, - units the dishwashers, the storage, the sinks all over there.
- Entiendes, amigo? - Si, muy bien.
Si.
- I love it.
- How long will the Reno take? - [speaking Spanish.]
- Ten weeks? Come on, I'm paying green cash, unmarked money.
[speaking Spanish.]
Six weeks.
That's better.
When can you start? How's this afternoon? - Muy bien.
- Mm-hmm.
- Gracias.
- Thank you.
- Hey, through the smoke - [applause.]
Yeah, I knew when I saw you there - Marianne! - Have you been running Rize purchases through the Shyne account? It's muy importante.
Uh, it's so hard to remember.
For tax purposes, you have to run them through the correct account.
Rize is one thing.
Shyne is another.
I own them both, but I run the books separately.
- It won't happen again.
- Thank you.
Can we please have some cronuffins, stat? - Okay.
- And coffee please.
- Hi.
- It's so busy.
Busy every day, my lovelies.
Gratitude, but stress like I have never known.
Silvio.
- Silvio! - [muted music plays.]
[slamming.]
I put you in charge of the shipment.
Did it not go through? They said the payment didn't go through.
You're the manager.
I need you to manage.
If the shipment of fruit doesn't come through, we can't run a juice bar.
Juice comes from fruit.
Unless you want to serve shaved ice mixed with incompetence.
Replace him.
You could swing a dead cat on Abott Kinney and you could find somebody who could manage that place better.
Got any other opinions you'd like to share with me today? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
It was a suggestion.
What's going on with you? You seem really agitated.
Damn right I'm agitated! Why don't you let me take you to lunch.
Or, if you'd rather, we can go spend the afternoon boxing.
We haven't been to Tao of Rex in ages.
No, I can't leave.
I've got repairs to oversee.
I've got to call the supplier.
I've got to find out why the payment didn't go through.
You need money? I will sell the other kidney.
I'm not taking any more money from you.
Ouch.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I snapped, and that was wrong.
Um, I'm so tired.
I'm stressed out, and I got to get back to work.
I love you.
[kiss.]
You too.
Zooey.
[muted romantic music.]
I would do anything Girl, I need only you I'll make love to you like you want me to I tried to make it as tacky as possible.
Maximum fromage.
- I - It's okay, it's okay.
Zooey's at Alma's for the night, so I thought why not? Why not pretend just for one night that the world and our jobs don't exist? Whoo! [Jo laughs.]
[laughing, shushing.]
There you are.
I've been calling you.
Blame it on this guy.
He did the whole thing with the roses Silvio quit.
What do you mean Silvio quit? He didn't come in, and I called him, and he said he has to quit.
Well, can you pinch hit for me? I don't manage Shyne.
I manage Rize.
Separate businesses, remember? Good riddance, if you ask me.
I didn't ask you.
I don't pay you to have opinions.
Fine, you don't have to pay me for anything at all.
[sighs.]
Oh God.
- Thank you.
- You're blaming me? You're reason I'm late.
You needed it.
We needed it.
Okay, just take your muffin, go about your day.
I've got three jobs I have to do.
Wow.
You know, it suddenly feels like last night never happened.
Have to believe we are magic - Guys, what's going on? How are you? - - Hello.
- Are you having tummy trouble? Oh, yes, stress.
Calgon [kissing.]
Take me away.
I should say.
Hey, are you coming to the thing for the "Redbook" party, because that would be a very good distraction for you.
Absolutely.
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Now I need two new managers for my businesses as well as some little mice to turn my rags into a ball gown.
Garcon! Garcon! - Yes? - I need to day drink pronto.
What's really eating you, Gilbert Grape? I don't know.
Business is booming.
My kid's doing great in school.
So why do I feel like I want to lie down in the middle of the street and die? Is everything okay with Albert? Yeah, yeah, kind of.
Uh we just always fight.
- Mmm.
- Great sex, stupid arguments.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
It's exhausting.
Maybe you're exhausted because you're running two businesses.
Or nutritional deprivation.
Oh, don't start with that.
I eat a lot of vegan stuff.
The Cordyceps.
Probably the same stuff the Frump uses in his blender at that sober living house.
Something's got to give, Jo.
You're going to burn out.
Well, it seems like everything I do isn't good enough.
So, why even try anymore? How was the salon? - Uh, I can't get used to this 'do.
- I feel naked without my frizz.
- I'm okay with naked.
- Of course you are.
What does that mean? Because you're getting graded on your little project, and you got an A.
Don't I look all nice and polished up like a proper lady? Jo, you picked the dress.
I picked it because you like it.
I can't say no to you.
- Of course you can.
- Of course I can't.
You're my investor.
Jo, that is absurd.
I did not give you that money so I could control you.
You sure about that? I think you're creating a problem because you need to have a problem, and that is your problem.
I am not that man anymore, and you know it.
Enjoy your night.
[sighs.]
[music rises.]
Hey Luco, where's your permission slip for the Eco Station field trip? - I need to sign it.
- It's not for like two weeks.
- I know, but if we do it now - then we won't be scrambling on the day.
All right, you guys are going to have so much fun at your dad's.
I'm going to miss you a ton.
- What's that? - It's nothing.
Okay, let's go.
[rewind sound.]
- Okay, Luco, your turn.
- - Chicago.
- Good.
- Denver.
- Uh - England.
- Hey, it's my turn.
Frankfurt.
[cell phone buzzes.]
- Georgia.
- Geneva.
- Hey, I had G.
- No, I thought it was mine.
- No, it was my turn.
- Liar.
Hey, Mom.
Mom? - Hmm? We're waiting.
Oh, what are you on? - H.
- H.
H.
Holland.
[rewind sound.]
[clattering.]
Opah! [applause, laughter.]
Everything's fine.
Namaste.
- Phoebe.
- Hi.
Are you okay? Yeah, it's just my brother keeps texting me.
You know you can block his number, right? Yeah, I know.
It just feels a little hostile.
Yeah, I get it.
It's like you like that he's out there, but not that he's in here.
Yeah, I just feel like I finally have my shit together with kids and my job, and he's just going to mess it up.
Well, family's always messy.
Yeah, understatement of the year.
[Yaz's "Only You" plays.]
Looking from a window above it's like a story of love Can you hear me - Hey.
- Hey.
- What'cha doing? - Well, this is a mix tape.
Come here, sit down.
My brother and I used to listen to this when we were falling asleep.
We would break a pair of headphones in half.
Wow.
It's so corny.
Hey, stop.
It's a band called Yaz.
- They kind of suck.
- No, they don't.
Is this a girl or a guy? Anouk, just listen.
Sometimes when I think of her name When it's only a game And I need you Listen to the words that you say It's getting harder to stay When I see you [rewind sound.]
[sniffs.]
Hey.
- Hi.
- Thanks for getting back to me.
It's a nice place.
Yeah, we were gonna maybe have to downsize, and thinking about moving to Venice.
But it turns out we can stay.
Venice is full of criminals anyway.
That's where I live.
Right.
But I'm just couch surfing.
It's nothing permanent.
Do you want to come in? - It was a gas station.
- Yeah.
She's like, "Just stay right here.
I'll be back in five minutes.
" "Be right back.
" Then she asked the cashier to watch us.
That's right, and he was behind the bulletproof glass.
Come on, Mom.
Good parenting.
Thank you.
Oh, my God, why are we laughing? - It's not funny.
- I don't know.
If you can't laugh about your deadbeat mother, then Yeah, I'm sure she had a great time at the consciousness raising workshop.
- Oh, that's right.
- How about you? You still like modeling and stuff? Oh, no, no, no.
I quit that years ago.
It's a pretty toxic environment.
Yeah, I know a thing or two about those.
Yeah, no, I'm actually working at an art gallery.
- Damien Fields.
- Hmm.
What about you? Are you working or ? Yeah, I'm temping for a shitty collection agency.
It's boring as hell, but I need a steady gig.
It's a condition of my parole.
Right.
Need to find something more permanent, but it's hard without a car.
[laughs.]
Hey, you have a spare set of wheels by any chance? Just just until I get a little more stable.
- There it is.
- What? Of course you need something.
Look, if you're uncomfortable loaning me your car I can't believe I fell for this act.
"How are you, Phoebe? I missed you.
" Oh yeah, here in your ivory tower God forbid you help someone else out.
You're still trying to make me pay.
Well, look at you, and then look at me, and ask yourself who got the better deal.
You want a car, Tony? Take my car.
- [keys jangle.]
- You are welcome to it.
(somber music) So he didn't actually steal your car.
You just lent it to him, and he hasn't brought it back.
I will never see my car again.
Aw, well, you know what, I know how it can be - with brothers.
- Abby, this is so far beyond anything you could possibly comprehend.
Okay, well, I didn't mean it was an exact analogy.
Because it's not.
Max is lovely.
And my brother went to prison, and I have been trying to help him my whole life, and he always squanders it, always.
It is so beyond redemption.
People change.
I mean, look at Abby.
She's so much less uptight than she used to be.
Can we just change the subject? Let's talk about Abby and Mike.
What is going on with the job situation? - [rewind sound.]
- [knocking.]
Oh, my God.
[sighs.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Um, thanks for the loan.
I took it down to a buddy in Long Beach and got the dents hammered out.
Thank you.
Yeah, sorry, I probably should've let you know I was taking it a little longer than I thought.
But anyway, thanks.
Um, you've always been really good to me.
So, I'm sorry if I was unfair.
Or whatever.
Um, I won't reach out again.
[paparazzi shouting.]
Phoebe, come here.
It's Delia.
We've got to go now.
- What are you talking about? - She's in a cold sweat.
Ay, Dios, tonight of all nights.
Okay, I'll meet you at the end, okay? - Okay.
- Okay.
I thought I'd be happy.
But I feel hollow and empty.
Well, I know that it's a relief, - but it's also disappointing.
- I have to get back to work.
[laughs.]
And we've got to concentrate on that campaign.
- [laughs.]
- Sure.
- [applause.]
- Thanks, man.
[applause.]
Yeah, all right, settle down, settle down.
No pain in the distance Away, away, away So far away from you Away from you Yeah, run, run, run, run, run Did you know that JFK lost his first City Council run? Really? No, I just made that up.
Hmm.
Can we talk for a second? Sure.
About the pregnancy test.
That was months ago.
I know.
I'm still sad about it.
Why? Because I want to have a baby.
With you.
Like a tiny version of you wearing little tiny Prada dresses.
Think about it.
[sighs.]
You know about my family situation.
Yeah, yeah, no, I know that.
But, look, if everyone who had terrible parents decided to stop having kids then we'd be extinct in one generation, maybe two.
When have you ever backed down from a challenge? [upbeat music.]
- Hey! - Hi.
- Hey.
Sorry, I'm so - Where have you been? I called you yesterday.
Cases, filings, briefings, work.
Paul wants to have a baby.
Oh, wow.
With you? I know, I'm the least maternal person in the world.
- Well, no my mother - My mother was a drug addict.
- So don't worry about it.
- My mom's crazy, - out of her mind.
- Do you even want to be a mom? You were so relieved when your pregnancy test was negative.
I was! But sometimes, you know, I play out the other scenario.
If it was positive.
And you had a kid with Pro-life Paul.
Stop calling him that.
He's good.
- I'm sorry.
- We're good together.
He makes me fearless.
I survived a botched wedding.
I can make peace with Albert.
I can serve a subpoena.
Maybe I can have a child.
Okay, I'm not sure how you connected the dots there.
But, okay.
I'm just considering new things.
Maybe I should have a baby.
I'm not getting any younger.
Oh, come on, don't believe that propaganda.
So you're going to let your ovaries decide? Because you're too good of a lawyer to just like settle for that.
I'm just mulling things over.
[rewind sound.]
[subdued music.]
Thank you for meeting me.
- You have a serious look on your face.
- I do.
Because I have something pretty serious to tell you.
Being with you has changed me, and it's changed what I want.
And what I want is a baby.
[laughs.]
For us to have a baby.
- Say something.
- Uh I'm surprised.
You know, because you walked in there - with a grim look on your face and - We could get started right now.
- Right now? - Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.
Grab the juice.
- Okay.
No, seriously.
It's expensive.
[rewind sound.]
- Thanks.
[sighs.]
- [knocking.]
Aw.
[laughs.]
[gasps.]
What? What the hell are you doing? Uh, proposing.
Jesus, what does it look like? Why? Our conversation.
Building a life together, having a baby.
When did marriage come up? It didn't, but you said that you were ready to take the next step.
And it sounded a lot like building a life together, having a baby.
Whoa, whoa, Paul, pump the brakes.
Was I supposed to check with you first? Or call your secretary? I thought this is how you propose.
The ring, the knee, bam! Done.
So are you going to marry me or what? - [rewind sound.]
- [party chatter.]
Barbara.
- Come here.
- Now.
- I've got to go.
- Yeah.
- Ugh.
- Oh, that is beautiful.
- Phoebe.
- Hashtag not normal.
You're not supposed to react like that when a man gives you a ring.
I just thought he'd know me.
I mean, he knows about my past.
I can't get married.
Oh God, I just keep thinking about Gordon and waiting at the altar like an executioner.
Yikes.
So what? Do I give the ring back? Blow this whole thing up? Or do I keep it, get what I want? Delia, you know what, you've got to make a choice and own it.
And maybe it's misguided, and maybe it's impulsive, and maybe it's completely insane.
But, if this is what you feel in your gut, then in some sense this must be right.
I mean, we are way too grown up to be second-guessing ourselves.
Don't think.
Just do.
[music rises.]
[sighs.]
[groans.]
Hello, beautiful.
You know, I hope you are hungry because I stopped and got some Wagyu beef that is going to knock your socks off.
Great.
Look, Barbara.
I know you were in a bad mood last night.
Okay, and I just want you to know that I am happy to brush it under the rug, chalk it up to whatever.
Your cycle, the weather.
- My cycle? - Well, yeah, I just So, I can't have actual feelings that are legitimate? It has to be hormones? Barbara, I'm trying to let you off the hook here.
Now either you take the out or you tell me what's going on.
I'm working, Darrell.
I don't want to talk about it now.
Well, I want to talk about it now.
This isn't working.
What? Us? Are you happy? Can you honestly say that you've been happy these last few months? Have you? I'm trying here, Barbara.
I really am, but you are making it very difficult.
I don't know what's wrong with you.
- I don't understand what's changed.
- I don't deserve you, Darrell.
What does that mean? You should go.
Are you breaking up with me? [door opens, shuts.]
[video game noises.]
Hey, kids.
I want to introduce you to somebody.
Hey.
Tony.
Uncle Tony.
He's going to be staying with us for a little while.
This is Anouk and Luco.
Anouk and Luco.
Cool names.
- We have an uncle? - Yeah, dummy.
Mom's brother.
- Nice to meet you, Tony.
- You too.
Great, my turn.
[video game noises.]
You sure this is cool? Yes, yes.
I mean, it's a mess.
But you're family.
- Yeah, sucks for you.
- Yeah.
All right, the guest Guest room is downstairs.
Got it.
[sighs.]
Thank you for coming.
I know last night things ended not very well.
Anything else you want to blame me for today? Global warming, melting polar ice caps, being an attentive partner who supports you? What you invested in Rize and Shyne.
Paid in full.
I went to the bank, got a loan, small business, shitty interest.
But it's mine.
Jo, I have told you over and over.
That I don't have to give you back the money, I know.
But, as long as I have that money, it's your business.
And when you give me advice and you give me suggestions, all I'm hearing is this voice from you, and it's saying "This is mine," and I can't sustain it.
It's not working for me.
So what? Are we done? No.
No! The opposite of that.
I'm in love with you, you dumb-ass! - I'm in love with you too, damn it! - I don't want to be indebted to you.
Don't you understand? I need this Us to be free and clear of the shit.
Take your goddamn money.
I am breaking up with it.
Fine.
You're still paying for dinner tonight, aren't you? Obviously.
- I'm buying a Maserati with this.
- Obviously.
I can't accept this.
And it's not because I don't love you or want to have a baby with you.
I just don't want to get married.
Fine.
- Fine what? - Fine, let's do it your way.
- We don't have to get married.
- It won't I'm making you a great offer here, Delia.
- How do you know? - Because I've made that same offer before.
I'll change.
I'll put aside my misgivings and my reservations and my beliefs and who I am to be with you.
It won't work.
Someone offers you everything you've ever wanted, and somehow you find a reason to say no? That's amazing.
You'll end up feeling robbed and trapped.
I just know it.
Yeah, well, I think that you don't want to be happy.
It's ironic how well we get each other.
You can go now.
[sighs.]
[typing.]
[sighs.]
I put my palms before her eyes Hey.
- I woke up, and you weren't there.
- I couldn't sleep.
Oh, Mike.
Just trying to envision it, me and the kids and all that stuff and how it would feel.
I've been thinking about it a lot too.
And, you know, whatever you decide - I understand.
- I think it would feel really good.
- Really? - Yep.
- Wow.
- Just so you know, I don't think of this as a free ride.
I'd share all the expenses with you right down the middle.
Yeah, we can figure that out another time.
I don't like talking about money.
The new job will make it easier.
- You're taking the job? - Yeah.
Look, the job, with me and Colette working together - Mike.
- I don't know if that had - anything to do with why you - No, it didn't, it doesn't.
No.
Okay, good, because honestly I'm excited.
Something like this hasn't come along for me in a long time.
Come on, it's baseball.
My first love.
I know.
So you're cool with it, right? Yeah.
Oh yeah, you should do it absolutely.
Okay, good.
So, wow.
Two-Eight's mom.
- [laughs.]
- We're really doing this? - Yeah.
- I can't wait - to tell the kids.
- Me too.
[laughs.]
They don't know you like I do [sighs.]