Hustle s05e01 Episode Script

Please excuse me.
Sorry! Sorry! Slow down! Have you seen a bloke come in here? Yellow suit.
He just came running in here, mate.
Commander Cardwell.
Your car, Sir.
Yes.
Good.
Good morning, sir.
Morning! I don't give a toss, Charles, sack the lot of them for all I care, don't they know there's a recession on? You can get Eastern Europeans for two fifty an hour and bloody grateful for it.
Two fifty's my final offer! - Excuse me.
Is this yours? - Yes.
It must have come out of your pocket and rolled quite a distance to get there.
Oh goodness! I'm terribly sorry.
Let me help you get dry there.
There we go.
- Do you know how much suits cost? - I'm terribly sorry.
I'll get that for you.
Oh, that's me again.
Pick up your pad there, sir.
- Is your phone working? - It's fine.
Are you sure it's all right? No white wine in it? - I'll leave you alone, sir.
- Thank you.
Oh, my hat, they'll never let me back on ship without that! Sorry.
Good evening, Royal Langham.
Could you tell me the name of your duty manager? It's Roger Levell.
- Roger? - Yes? Jonathan Moore here, the MD's new PA, just to let you know the MD would like to make a site visit next Monday.
- I'll make sure everything's ready.
- Fantastic.
And he has a close personal friend of his, a Commander Cardwell, he'd like him checked into your penthouse suite for a few days.
- He'll be checking in tonight.
- No problem.
Happy to help.
What about the account? Just send the invoice to us.
Good evening, sir.
Here at the Royal Langham we take pride in the fact that our penthouse suite does indeed have absolutely everything that you require, sir.
- Thank you.
- No luggage? Terminal 5.
I'll send up the concierge, he can arrange a personal shopper for you.
Well, thank you, Roger.
That's very kind of you.
My pleasure, sir.
Bugger me! Mickey Bricks.
Hello, Cyclops.
Long time no see.
I heard you was Down Under, flogging the Sydney Opera House.
- I was.
- Some people will buy anything.
- And long may it be so.
- What can I do for you? Ash Morgan.
Three Socks? Haven't seen him for months.
Heard he retired.
- You tried Eddie? - I called by the bar, it's closed.
- That's cos he ain't there anymore.
- Do you know where he is? Might do.
Either you do or you don't.
Fifty quid.
I'm sorry? Supply and demand.
It's the bedrock of a capitalist society.
OK, we are fully booked, so no more reservations today.
- I'd like a table, please.
- I'm sorry, sir, we're Mick! God! - What are you doing here? - Shouldn't that be my question? Oh, yeah.
- Ah, it's a long story, you know.
- I've got nothing better to do.
I don't finish for an hour.
All right, take a tea break.
I can't, mate.
OK, I'll have lunch.
We're fully booked.
Are you? What can I get you? Mick.
- Afternoon, sir.
- Mickey.
Can I take this chair? Thank you.
Good afternoon, ladies.
Good afternoon.
My name is Anthony and I will be your table host for today.
Table host? It's a new initiative to make sure that lunch is everything it could be.
Have you no drinks? Edward! Edward! Bollinger, please, for the ladies.
- Right.
- Don't worry, it's on the house.
So, what were you thinking of having? Goodbye.
You'll get me the sack.
I can't believe you're working for a living.
Have you no shame? Well, maybe if you lot had paid your bleeding tab I'd still have me bar.
- Where's Ash? - Haven't seen him for months.
What about Albert? Hey.
It's good to see you.
- Why didn't anyone tell me? - It's nothing for you to worry about.
To tell you the truth, I'm enjoying the rest.
I would have come sooner if I knew you were in here.
- I heard you were on your way back.
- How? I know everything.
You of all people should know that, Michael.
So, what happened? Well, there was a slight misunderstanding.
Black Jack! - Sir, do you want to take a seat? - Why? - Ray, check his arms.
- Why? What? Her Majesty very kindly offered to make me her guest for two years.
Two years? Then we'll have to get you out.
No.
Have you gone mad? Here you go, Albert.
You're missing Deal Or No Deal, so I've set it to record.
Thank you so much.
This is the best vacation I've ever had.
I've finally caught up on my reading, I swim, I have yoga classes twice a week.
And I even considered striking a guard to extend my stay, but they're all so nice.
Of course.
OK.
OK, I get it.
You're working.
So, who's in here worth getting locked up for? You do have a very suspicious mind.
Then I guess you'll tell me when you're good and ready.
Albert, where's Ash? Well, right now he should be fleecing the City boys in the City View.
OK.
Then I have something for you if you're interested.
An M-A-R-K.
Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets.
- Money on the table.
- Yeah.
Let me show you how it's done.
Yes! Thank you very much.
So, how was Oz? Mixed reviews.
Lucrative, though? Up and down.
I couldn't do that flight.
No, me neither.
I sailed back.
- What now? - I'm putting a new crew together.
It's a different world, Mick.
Misery everywhere you look.
Credit crunch, house repossessions, even the banks are going under.
Recessions only seem to affect ordinary people.
As for the rich same old, same old.
They just keep getting richer.
Ain't that the truth? So, are you in or are you out? - Archie Scott still about? - Nah, he's long gone.
- Cock and Hen Ken? - Brussels last I heard.
I tried to get in touch with Danny and Stacie, but they're still in the States.
Long con players are a dying breed, Mick, it's all "wham bam, thank you, ma'am" these days.
OK, I'll make some calls, see if I have any more luck.
You got a mark lined up? Sara Naismith.
Er, Edward, if they're your friends, I suggest you get rid of them now.
- Yeah, well, they are.
- Lovely, thank you.
Made her fortune buying up beachfront land along the Black Sea coast once the Soviet Union crumbled.
Next, it was tendering for rebuilding programmes in China after the earthquake.
- She's a nice-looking girl.
- Don't let that fool you, she's an alley cat.
She left China once it was discovered she was bribing officials to avoid building regulations.
And in Croatia, if people didn't want to leave the land she wanted to buy, she sent thugs in to turf them out.
Hiya, Anthony! Hello, ladies! He's very good.
Yes, I'm sure he is.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Anything you want to tell me? No.
- When you're ready.
- Sorry.
Now that the Eastern European gold rush is over, she thinks the recession in Europe means she can make a killing on the money markets.
Feels like there's a pattern here.
Making money out of other people's misery.
So, what's the way in? Well, she only likes to invest in cast iron certainties.
- What, insider trading? - Exactly.
The problem is she doesn't know the world too well.
- And she wants us to help her? - Be rude not to.
I need your table, lads.
What for? - For paying customers, who do you think? - But we was here first.
Yeah, but you didn't book or anything, did you? - Book what? - A table! - I don't need to, I've got one.
- But it's not yours.
- Who's is it, then? - It's someone else's.
You gave someone else our table? No.
No, I don't Do you know what? Forget it.
Bring us two more large ones, Eddie? Thank you.
- We should help him, really.
- Yes, we should! So, where do we find our little alley cat then? She does coffee and papers here every morning.
What am I going for? Casual and charming or businesslike and abrupt? - Obnoxious.
- Obnoxious.
She thinks all men in the City are rude, double-barrelled misogynists.
- Let's not disappoint her.
- Right.
- Morning.
- Morning.
Table for one, please.
Right there in the middle, thanks.
Coffee and a brandy, please, to kick-start the old ticker.
Thank you so much.
Having a dabble, old girl? A friend of mine made a killing last month.
Sescoe Oil.
Tripled his money in a week.
I wouldn't mind, but the man's a bloody moron.
Wouldn't know his NASDAQ from his arsehole.
Thank you.
Apparently, he got a tip-off.
Well, it's the only way to make any money.
Unless you've got an inside track, you're trading with the rest of the plebs, aren't you? - And we don't want that, do we? - Absolutely not.
Simon Porter Jones.
Sara Naismith.
- Are you staying here? - No.
But they have the best coffee.
You? Ah, well I'm staying round the corner for a few days.
Business? Mistress.
I'm sorry? The old girl's at home mucking out the horses, I'm here to roger my mistress senseless for the weekend.
Lucky her.
So, what's it to be? Well, what's on your shopping list? Maybe I can help.
Well, I am torn between M&S and London Speed.
Who the hell are they? I tell you who you should talk to.
Friend of mine.
Arrogant little shit, but makes more money on the markets than any man I know.
- What's his name? - William Dagmar.
Dagmar Associates.
I'm surprised you haven't heard of him.
Well, I'm relatively new to the markets.
Dagmar's got the instincts of a cat.
The first man to get into Google and eBay, the first man to get out of Enron and Northern Rock.
Apparently, there's a feature on him in today's Independent.
Er, do you have a copy of today's Independent? - Yes, sir.
- Thank you.
I don't know if you're interested, but I'm having a soiree this evening.
It's Maisy's birthday.
Maisy? The aforementioned mistress.
She's 19.
Thanks very much.
Here's my hotel.
Penthouse suite.
Seven thirty, casual, nibbles and drinks.
William Dagmar will be there.
Many happy returns to Maisy.
Bloody good show.
So, what do you say? Maybe see you this evening? If I'm in the area.
Suit yourself.
If not might catch you again.
Hm? I think we got a nibble.
Oi! What's going on? I can do you eight at 50 each.
It's a bit steep, innit, Martha? Or I can do you frogs for 35.
No, they have to look the part.
Then it's 50.
Dress? Smart casual.
Businessmen.
- Time? - Seven.
I'll let you know the address later.
Oh, and I need a young girl, about 19.
I thought you were saving yourself for me.
Oh, I am, darling, but I'm supposed to be an old fart with a mistress.
OK, so that's eight at 50 and another 50 for the girl.
Call it 450 and 25 pence.
Cash.
Twenty-five pence? Paper.
I'm just checking the racing results.
Well, I can't sell it to anyone else, it's second-hand.
They tell me you're the man who knows.
Knows what? Everything.
I think you've got me mixed up with someone else.
Hit him.
Shall we start again? I'm looking for two con merchants.
OK, bye.
- How's it going with the new crew? - It's just like you said.
Everyone's either hooked up already or moved away.
Hold up, here we go.
She's in.
Some people just can't help themselves.
Do you think she'll come? If she thinks we can make her money, she won't be able to resist.
Right, sort yourselves out.
Now, we're playing a condensed version of the rag.
Stocks and shares, yeah? The mark is Sara Naismith, I'm Simon Porter Jones, this is my gaff.
Mickey here is William Dagmar, God's gift to the money markets.
He's made you all a fortune.
The first part of the game is keep the mark away from Mickey, yeah? Good.
Hello, sweetheart, you're Maisy, my mistress.
It's your birthday! Any questions? Right.
Let's be convincing.
We've found 'em, boss.
Just a question of what happens next.
It's a hotel.
OK.
Watch and wait.
OK.
Showtime! - You made it.
- Hello.
This is my assistant, Aaron.
Well, the more the merrier.
Come in.
Champagne? Thank you.
He'll have an orange juice.
Is William Dagmar here? Yes, he's over there, I'll introduce you later.
Just relax, have a drink.
Maisy, come and meet some people.
- This is - Sara.
Very pleased to meet you.
Come into the bedroom for one minute.
All right, pumpkin, lead the way.
She wants to show me her presents.
- Who's he? - Her PA.
What do you want to do? We're all set up now, let's go as planned.
Find out what you can.
Maybe we should have brought his girlfriend something? A new school bag perhaps? The main man, come on.
So, how's it going, old son? Good, thank you.
I bet she keeps you on your toes.
Yes.
- Been with her long? - Almost four months.
New boy then? I think her previous assistants found her quite demanding.
But not you? No.
I think she's wonderful.
Good.
It was lovely to have met you.
- Hey, how are you doing? - Fine.
I think her tongue is hanging out far enough.
- What about the PA? - Oh, he's harmless.
I think he's got a crush on her.
OK, reel her in.
So, how are we doing here? Happy bunnies? Well, I still haven't managed to talk to William yet.
Well, let's remedy that straight away, shall we? Excuse us.
William.
This is Sara and her PA, Alan.
- Aaron.
- That's the one.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
And you.
- Sara was hoping to pick your brains.
- Oh? Yes, she's looking to invest in the markets.
It would be nice if your guests asked me something more interesting than where they should invest their money.
- Oh! I have a different question.
- Which is? Are you always this bloody rude or have we just caught you on a bad day? A lady that's not afraid to speak her mind! - Does that bother you? - On the contrary, it's refreshing.
Then perhaps you're mixing with the wrong kind of women.
I'm beginning to think I must be.
Why don't you stay once the rabble has gone? In the meantime, I'll work on my manners.
He likes you.
- He has a very high opinion of himself.
- I told you, he's an arsehole.
But you can forgive any man who made you eight million pounds last year.
Hold fire when everyone toodles off, hm? - Cheerio.
Nice to see you.
- See you soon.
Well, Maisy's throwing up in the bathroom, so that's slap and tickle off the menu.
How about a brandy? Well, not quite as attractive a proposition, but yes.
- Alan? - Aaron.
- Absolutely.
Brandy? - Certainly not.
Go wait by the door.
So, how long have you known Simon? I met him this morning.
And he's already offering you investment advice? I'm not naive, Mr Dagmar, I fully understand he has no interest in helping me invest my money.
Oh? However, I am equally certain that he is interested in getting into my designer knickers once Maisy's started sixth form.
Careful, William, you might have met your match there.
We'll see.
Can I put my cards on the table, Mr Dagmar? Yes, yes.
Of course.
I came here to invest money, but I'm new to the markets and I would appreciate a small nudge in the right direction.
- A nudge? - I dislike gambling.
I much prefer something that gives me an edge.
I understand that's your forte.
You seem remarkably well informed.
How much would you like to invest? Well, I thought I'd start slowly.
Perhaps a million to begin with? Well? That is a decent sum for your first investment.
It will be enough to let me see if your advice is worth following or not.
Come to my office tomorrow and we'll discuss it further.
Tomorrow, then.
Simon.
Door! You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you two were flirting with one another.
Still, end of round one.
Looks like they're back and up to their old tricks.
- It was definitely them? - No doubt, boss.
There were loads of people coming and going.
I reckon they're in the middle of another con.
Shall we bring them in? No.
Stay on top of them.
If we time this right, we'll get them and whatever money they're conning these poor bastards out of.
Double bubble.
All right.
City Central House? Hello, darling, it's Terry in Maintenance.
I'm running a phone check, drawing a few blanks.
- Who have we got on holiday? - Mr Harris is on leave until Monday.
- Third floor? - Sixth.
Room 610.
All right, cheers, darling.
Pass, please.
Wait.
Fire! Fire! Put it out.
Can somebody just put it out before the alarms go off? Quickly! This is ridiculous.
Just put it out! IT, someone reported a fault on the internal server? - Not me.
- Online diary, OK? - Yeah, I haven't got time for this.
- I'll be two minutes.
OK.
It's up by one, that's four-two-six.
Two-six.
Up by one to two-seven-two.
OSP, it's up by point four.
All done.
OK, down by three to two-one-seven.
Hi, it's Nick Evans here, Building Management.
How's everything down there after the fire? Excellent.
Good.
Problem is, Health and Safety have been on.
Yeah, they want to send someone to check our building regs.
No, no, I'll deal with it.
Just tell him to come to the sixth floor, I'll have someone meet him at the lift, yeah? OK, thanks, bye.
Hi, hello.
Yes, I'm having a presentation this morning and I need some stuff sent up.
Yes, I've got a list.
Environmental Services.
I believe you were expecting me? Yes.
Take a lift to the sixth floor, someone will meet you there.
Thank you.
Thanks, chaps.
So, how does all of this work? OK, I've taken a wireless feed from the trading floor upstairs, meaning you have a direct live feed to the markets which comes into your VDU then out into this.
This takes the live feed, records it, delays it for about a minute, before feeding it to the big screen, makes you look like a genius.
You see the market price go up and down on the VDU here, which only you can see.
Very good.
So, you watch your screen, see what the market's doing, and make your play.
- She sees it come true on the big screen.
- Brilliant.
I'll call you on these mobiles from the khazi, you make it sound like you're getting information.
Right.
Time I wasn't here.
Nice to see you haven't lost your touch.
Well, a bit rusty, but it's all coming back.
Heard you had a bit of excitement, old boy? - Fire, wasn't it? - Oh, yeah.
Put it out single-handed, I heard.
Bloody good show.
Due a little bonus, I shouldn't wonder.
You know, I think I'll have a word with personnel.
- Gary, is it? - Gary Coleman.
I'll see to it personally.
Ah, here's my party now.
Get the lift for us, Gary, would you? - There's a good fellow.
- Sir.
William asked me to pop down and take you up.
I've got an office on the same floor and he's stuck on the phone to New York.
Follow me.
- Thank you, Gary.
- Sir.
Not far now.
- Here we are.
- Stop.
No, stop talking.
Stop talking and listen.
I want you to start unloading in small batches, nothing big.
I've had a whisper that their results are worse than forecast.
They'll take a tumble as soon as they're announced.
Yes, exactly.
So sell quietly, stay under the radar.
Well, that's my good deed for the day.
I'll leave you to it.
Have fun.
Yes, exactly.
Morning! OK.
Yes? She fluttering her eyelids at you yet? How sure are you? You're supposed to be looking at your screen.
Thank you.
We'll get rid of it for six-two-three.
Dawson and Hughes market price rising sharply.
Buy Dawson and Hughes Chemicals, 50K.
Yes? Historically, you've never had much luck with brunettes, have you? When will this go public? Or blondes, for that matter.
Or redheads.
No, thank you, Nick.
I owe you one.
I've just had a heads up about Aldo Science, sell what we're holding.
Assuming you don't claim any psychic abilities, I assume you have fantastic contacts.
Yes.
- The best that money can buy.
- Buy? Well, most of the City is corrupt, one way or another.
Inside information becomes a commodity, just like everything else.
- Sorry, all.
Got held up.
- Hello, Simon.
- How was the day? - It was very impressive.
Did you pay the broker? Honestly, William, you've spent 600,000 today.
Have you any idea what it's like carrying all that cash around? You deal in cash? If I buy stock in the usual fashion, it turns into a feeding frenzy.
So, yes, I deal in cash.
And that way, no-one knows what I buy or when.
- Imaginative accounting? - Exactly.
So, William, now I've seen what you can do, I've decided I'd like you to do the same for me.
- That's very big of you.
- Isn't it? I take 20% commission.
Agreed.
- Although, I have a small request.
- Oh? Something I learnt when investing in property.
And what's that? When someone else invests your money, the only way to guarantee they're careful with it, is to ask them to match it.
Match it? That way, they're gambling their money along with yours.
It's an act of faith.
Never heard of such a thing.
I'm listening.
We make it a joint venture.
A million each.
You invest it all.
Then we share the profits equally.
If I lose, you do too.
Of course, the only people who ever refuse such a request either have no balls or don't think they can live up to expectation.
Well, in that case, how could I refuse? Good.
Tomorrow then.
- I didn't see this coming.
- No, me neither.
- Plays right into our hands, though.
- How so? If she thinks I've lost money too, it'll be harder for her to smell a rat.
How long do you need to clear the office after we're done? I've got to disconnect the feed, ten minutes.
OK, so we let her make an early profit, we relax, find a company in freefall, and hit her with the sting.
Once that happens, you should get her out as quickly as possible.
Right.
We should also work out what we're going to do about Eddie and his bar.
- Oh, yeah? What did you have in mind? - Well, we do need an extra pair of hands.
So, what's the catch? - There's no catch.
- There's always a catch.
Well, maybe you could redecorate? I chose every bit of wallpaper, and all the carpets and all the fittings myself, you know! Maybe that's the problem.
But that aside, you're back in business, if you want.
Equal partners.
- With you two? - Is there a problem? Feels a bit like starting up a pension fund with Robert Maxwell.
Do we have a deal or not? Listen, you've still got to pay for all your drinks, OK? - I need to keep the books straight.
- Goes without saying.
OK, deal.
Haven't you got work to do, Edward? You seem to be spending a lot of time with these gentlemen.
- They're friends of yours, I assume? - Yes, they are.
Well, perhaps you should spend less time socialising and more time with our other guests, which is what I pay you for.
OK? Good.
Bollocks.
I beg your pardon? He said, "Bollocks".
He can't talk to me like that.
I think you'll find that he just did.
Keep the change.
You sure there isn't a catch? There is just one little thing.
Do you know what? I flaming knew it! They left about half an hour ago, carrying a briefcase.
- The boys are watching 'em.
- Let's pay 'em a little visit, shall we? - Morning, Gary.
- Sir.
What do I have to do again? Wait in the khazi until I come and get you, then go to room 610 and say what's on this paper.
OK, same as yesterday, and then after an hour, I'll find a company in freefall and buy heavy.
Of course, all hell will break loose, but I'll offer to help them recoup their losses tomorrow.
By which time we'll be gone.
Exactly.
You help calm them down and get them out.
Right.
I'm here to make a collection.
I'm Oh, God! I'm here to make I'm here to make a I'm No, I wouldn't have missed this for the world.
And I was beginning to think you'd changed your mind.
Nervous? Never.
Oh, been spending your profits already, I see? I'm not convinced that's any of your business, but, yes, I have a dinner party this weekend.
- And do you have your investment? - Have you brought yours? Niceties over.
Shall we get started? - Of course.
- Allow me.
Thank you so much.
Just put the cases there, the broker's sending someone around.
I'll organise some coffee.
Yes, that's a wonderful idea.
Please.
OK.
You're on.
All right, Mick? Do your stuff.
How certain are you? No, no, no, that's good enough for me, Tim.
Thanks.
A hundred thousand in Fastco Logistics.
A good start.
For God's sake, rather than sitting there like a moron, why don't you take the bags back to the hotel? Sorry.
You can bring the car back to get me later.
He has a degree in business studies.
Worth half a mill? OK, let me know.
- Hello, Martin.
- Mr Dagmar.
I'm here to make a collection.
Two cases there.
Tell Nick they're to go into a separate account.
- In your name, sir? - No, Dagmar and Naismith.
- I'll make sure to let him know.
- Thank you.
Yes? Really? How heavy? Good man.
I'll see you back at the bar.
I make us up around £200,000.
It's not exactly world shattering for a £2,000,000 investment.
It's early yet, I'm waiting for the heads up on a couple of financial reports, they should have a big effect on the market value of the companies concerned.
If we move quickly enough, well, we could make quite a killing.
Well then, I'll take the chance to visit the ladies' while I can.
She's gone to the bathroom.
Perhaps you should take a look.
Only me! Damn gents is out of action and I've been caught a bit short.
Hello? Anyone there? She's not there.
- What? - Well, she's vanished into thin air! There she is.
Cases! They changed cases.
How? Dark brown leather, gold locks.
They worked the switch! That's outrageous.
We've been conned! Yes! We did it! We bloody well did it! You are a genius! Yes, I am.
Finally, we can get out of this dump! I'm seeing a penthouse with a butler.
And a box at the Emirates.
And a Porsche.
And you know what? You can have enough Jimmy Choos for three octopuses, or is it octopi? And a holiday.
Oh, a holiday! Somewhere hot.
Mexico! You switched the wrong sodding case! No way! That's his case! I swear it! Yeah? Well, how can it be? Because there's 50s on the front.
You told me to use 20s and I did.
You checked, remember? I don't believe this.
We've been conned.
- What? - We're looking for some people.
- Who? - A couple of grifters.
They're inside.
OK.
Let's have 'em.
- Fit bird and a young bloke? - How would you know that? Ain't you heard? I know everything.
So, where are they? Are you going to hit me if I don't tell you? Almost certainly.
- Not sure there'll be much left of them now.
- Why not? Because you ain't the only ones looking for them.
Shit! Hello, Vicky.
You done me for 30 grand.
All right.
Pay her.
Well, I can explain.
Oh, please do.
Well, it I just Come 'ere.
OK! OK.
Leave her! Get off! I want my money.
Or I'm going to have to make them cut his nuts off and feed them to him.
- OK? - OK.
Em, don't do it! Shut up.
It's OK.
There's your 30 grand.
Thank you.
Take her down to the car.
Wait! You got your money.
I have something extra in mind for her.
Yeah? Come here Who the hell are you? Is this fool really asking me who I am? Yeah, I think he is.
He's the black guy I told you about.
The one they were meeting up with.
It's her all right.
And him.
OK, I'm going to ask you again, who are you and what do you want? These people stole some money from my employer.
Oh, yeah? You'd better join the end of the queue, mate.
The people we work for do not join queues.
Shoot these fools, man.
Jesus! Now find this money.
- So, what's in there, then? - Whoa, wait.
You stealing my money? No, no, this is just the money they took off me.
- Shoot him too.
- No! No! Please, you can take the money, take my money! I, you know, we never saw nothing, did we, lads? Boss? No, please, please.
You don't have to kill me.
We didn't see nothing, we weren't even here.
We're cool.
We're cool, I swear.
- You're cool? - Yeah.
- You sure? - Yeah, yeah.
All right, so tell me what did you see? Nothing.
Cos it's nothing personal, but if I ever see you again, I'm gonna have to kill you.
Sure.
- And every member of your family.
- Yeah.
You understand? All right.
Thank you.
Yeah, thanks.
Thank you.
Bang! You can get up now.
Well, that was intense.
It's her all right.
And him.
Shoot these fools.
OK who are you? I was just going to ask you the same thing.
I asked first.
I'm Emma Kennedy.
Sean.
And I'm guessing you're not William Dagmar? No, I'm not.
You're grifters? - This is Ash Morgan.
- "Three Socks"? Pleased to meet you, I think.
- Well then, you must be - Michael Stone.
Well, what's going on? We've just conned Mickey Bricks and Three Socks Morgan! I think you'll find it was the other way around.
Oh, really? Cos I thought we got clean away.
With nothing.
Hang on, I was given you as a mark.
Table for one.
That's where you told me she would be.
It seems we've all been a part of someone else's game.
Albert.
Just think of it as me oiling the wheels.
I have something for you, if you're interested.
An M-A-R-K.
Gotcha.
How'd it go? Piece of cake.
Her name is Sara Naismith.
Made her money in dubious overseas property deals, and is now looking to invest in the market.
Which is where I come in? Exactly.
I've worked out a front for you.
You'll be William Dagmar, a maverick trader on the money markets.
He's good at what he does, but hates the system, so now deals in cash.
You'll be Sara Naismith and, Sean, you'll be her PA.
- So how do we get to him? - Through this man, Simon Porter Jones.
He'll be easy to reel in, because he's a sucker for a pretty face.
Simon Porter Jones.
Sara Naismith.
The real test will be William Dagmar.
And remember, he likes strong women.
Does that bother you? You seem to have put a lot of thought into this, Albert.
Well, time on my hands.
So, how did you two meet? We bumped into each other a while back.
Sorry! Albert took me under his wing.
Taught me all about the long con.
She is rough around the edges with lots to learn, but with the right person Well Oh, well, who better than you? You could have just introduced us! You know, like a normal person? Where's the fun in that? Besides, it's important for you all to see what the others can do.
Well, you were looking for a new crew, Mick.
Well, she must be good for you to go to all this trouble.
One way to find out! You've got to hand it to him, he's a clever old sod.
So, we're all working together now then? - No, we're not.
- I thought No, you thought wrong.
I choose my own crew.
Just give us back our 30 grand, and we'll be on our way.
Problem? Yeah, we had to invest that.
In what? It's a long story.
- This fella? - Yeah.
- Nice one.
Could you go over there? - Yeah.
Brilliant.
Nice.
All right, cheers.
Great.
- Then we're broke.
- Come on, guys! Us four working together, we could make a fortune! Is your boyfriend always like this? Mostly.
Except he's not my boyfriend, he's my baby brother.
Albert's been to a lot of trouble.
I don't like to be manipulated, even by Albert.
I think you'll find, Ash, that this is just about him not liking being told what to do.
It's a character flaw.
Albert told me about it.
- Did he now? - Yeah.
Did he tell you anything else? - Lots.
- Such as? He told me enough about how you play poker to beat you hands down every time.
I doubt that.
And he also said that I was the only person he knew that could drink Ash Morgan under the table.
That sounds like fighting talk! Well, I guess we'll never find out.
Come on, Sean.
Good luck, guys.
If nothing else, it was fun.
You have to admit, she was good.
Bit rough around the edges.
Yeah, but you could always train them up.
Maybe.
You know what Albert's like, he'll only set us up again.
Yeah, he will, won't he? Yeah, he's stubborn.
Bit like you.
Wait! As much as I know I'm going to regret this I suppose we could try one score.
Just to see how it goes.
We won't let you down, I promise.
It's my crew, though.
I have the last word in everything.
OK.
So do you think the City's ready for us? I don't even know if I'm ready for you! Come on, let's do this.
Well So, what do we do now? First, we need to find a mark.
Followed by a few drinks with Ash, and then let's play some poker! All right, boss! Oh, he'll like that.
It's a character flaw.
Enjoy it! I can't see it lasting!