Lip Sync Battle (2015) s05e01 Episode Script

1 (CROWD CHEERING) Lip Sync Battle nation, are you ready? It's gonna get five times more fabulous tonight! Make some noise for the Fab Five! The cast of Queer Eye! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (DRUMMING CADENCE PLAYS) (GROWN WOMAN BY BEYONCE PLAYS) I remember being young and tough, brave I knew what I needed Whoo! I was spending all my nights and days Laid back day dreaming Look at me I'm a big girl now, Said I'm gon' do something Told the world I would paint this town Now betcha I run this (VOCALIZING) (LOUD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I'm a grown woman I can do whatever I want They love the way I walk in 'Cause I walk with a vengeance And they listen to me when I talk 'Cause I ain't pretending It took a while, now I understand Just where I'm goin' I know the world and I know who I am, It's 'bout time I show it Whoo! (VOCALIZING) I'm a grown woman I can do whatever I want I'm a grown woman I can do whatever I want (DRUMMING CADENCE PLAYS) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I'm so happy.
You gotta love it.
You gotta love it.
Make some noise! Yeah! Alright, so, as you can see, we're already doing things different for this one.
You know what I mean? We kicked things off with the cast of five that can be best described as a television phenomenon! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Give it up for Bobby, Karamo, Tan, Antoni and Jonathan.
The cast of Netflix Queer Eye.
Chrissy.
Chrissy, so the Fab Five is here.
- I'm freaking out.
- Are you ready? Am I ready? I'd like to think that I did this! (CHEERING) You did! I was on vacation.
I was laying in Bali.
Naked.
And all I was thinking about were these five, fabulous boys.
- (CHEERING) - And I wrote I wrote our producer, and I was like, "Please, Casey.
Please, can we have them on the show?" And she said yes, and now they're here! (CHEERING) LL: So, congrats to you guys on the success of Queer Eye.
- Thank you.
- (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Legitimately, I have your number one fan right here.
- I mean, that's all she talked about - A super fan.
And you look incredible! You really do! - Give us a twirl.
- Killing it! The only thing we stipulated for today is that we wanted to be in crops and we wanted to be in short-shorts.
JONATHAN: I was like, "But this body? Why why should I hide it?" Okay, hold on.
Let's clarify.
- Anybody - Anybody! The fans would love you if you tried it.
No, uh, you know, you gotta know your limitations.
I mean, yeah, next week.
Next episode.
Okay, Jonathan.
Your Instagram is iconic.
Where does it come from? What's going on in your long-haired brain? Well, you know, I don't know.
A little bit of this, and a little bit of that.
It's true.
He really doesn't.
Just a little girl.
So Karamo, I think it's safe to say - you're a member of the hive.
- CHRISSY: Clearly, clearly.
Tell us about your love for Beyonce.
Uh, I mean, you see I got a wig on.
I know! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - CHRISSY: That is - The wig! We didn't even know he was wearing it! Which we didn't know until When I turned around, I was like, "Who's that? Who is she on stage with us?" It's I, Beyonce, I've arrived.
- (CHEERING) - Oh my God, yeah, yeah.
- We commit! - CHRISSY: You do! And we're gonna commit tonight! - Yeah! - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) LL: Alright, so, look! We all know why we're here.
This is Lip Sync Battle.
Let's go! - Hit it! - (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING) It takes two to make a thing go right - Hit it! - I wanna rock right now I'm not internationally known But I'm known to rock a microphone Because I get stupid, I mean outrageous Stay away from me if you're contagious Like one, two, three, get loose now - It takes two - Hit it! (CROWD CHEERING) You just saw an amazing performance of Beyonce's Grown Woman by the cast of Queer Eye.
Chrissy is over there.
She's hyped up! Everybody in the house, make some noise.
- (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) - First up, he's a culture expert.
Karamo Brown! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - Whoo! - Give it up for the design master, Bobby Berk! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Now give it up for food and wine expert, Antoni Porowski! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Werk! Werk! Fashion expert, Tan France! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Grooming expert, Jonathan Van Ness! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (LAUGHS) CHRISSY: Whoo! Welcome to the show, guys.
We're so glad you're here.
You know what I'm saying? It's already been an amazing night.
The party just got started! You know what I'm saying? Just got started! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Alright, but this is LSB, so we gotta break up the Fab Five.
- We gotta break it up - You guys really wanna be responsible for the one who breaks up the Fab Five? Yeah, yeah, yeah! I own it! I own it! No problem! Hold up, hold up, hold up.
- Hey, Chrissy.
- CHRISSY: Hey! (VOICES OVERLAPPING) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ANTONI: They've gone rogue! LL: Alright.
Oh my God! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Alright! Okay, these guys are acting up in class.
Alright, you guys can head over to the VIP and hang out.
Let's take a look and see how the guys kept an eye on who they wanted to team up with.
- Oh! - "Welcome Fab Five!" (CHEERING) They're sweethearts! None of us were expecting them to get us balloons, flowers and tiaras.
It's as if they know us.
The competition starts now.
So, I think if we have to split up, that the three of us should go against you guys.
We chose these teams, uh, strategically.
We wanted three under dogs versus two stars.
Those two stars together are gonna collide.
Yeah, but I walk, so I'll just walk right next to you.
I would say, when it comes to competitive advantage, we just have rhythm.
Our strategy is to survive! (BLEEP) KARAMO: I believe in you! You can do it! TAN: Didn't look that great to me! Doesn't look that great to me! (INDISTINCT) You don't deserve this.
You have no class! I just wanna see you boys shine, and I hope that you get introduced to rhythm before you go out.
- Amen.
- Come on.
And now it's settled.
Antoni, Bobby and Tan versus Jonathan and Karamo.
Two teams will battle it out, so when we come back, it'll be time to throw down.
You guys ready for that? You ready? Alright, alright, since we're switching things up, why don't you guys toss us to the break? LSB is going to Q U-E-E-R TOGETHER: You don't wanna miss it! I'm a grown woman (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) It takes two to make a thing go right Yes, LSB returns, and the cast of Queer Eye are going toe to toe.
Antoni, Bobby and Tan are ready to take it to the stage.
But before we unleash the madness, let's see how they plan to show the world that three is the magic number.
Hi, everyone! So glad we're a team.
So excited! - Danielle, Antoni, so nice to meet you.
- You look so pretty! - I've never felt prettier, frankly.
- (DANIELLE LAUGHING) It's my first time in heels.
Very proud.
- You ready for this? - No! - Which one goes first? - Right.
Left to right.
- Oh! - (LAUGHTER) Oh (BLEEP).
Break my neck in these.
This has been very hard.
I don't know how the dancers do this every day.
Ooh! (BLEEP) I'm sorry! Yeah, we're struggling.
BOBBY: I just realized it's easier to walk in heels when you sway your hips.
- Oh! Well, I'll give that a try.
- (LAUGHING) We just did a move! DANIELLE: Yeah! - Oh my God, it's so real! - It looks amazing! BOBBY: We're gonna go out there.
We're gonna win.
We're gonna show Karamo and Jonathan that we can lip sync.
We're gonna show those boys a side of us they've never even seen.
TAN: I just know yours is gonna fall! - (LAUGHTER) - And I'm gonna laugh so hard.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (WORK BY BRITNEY SPEARS PLAYING) You wanna Whoo! You wanna You wanna You want a hot body? You want a Bugatti? You want a Maserati? You better work, bitch You want a Lamborghini? Sip martinis? Look hot in a bikini? You better work, bitch You wanna live fancy? Live in a big mansion? Party in France? You better work, bitch You better work, bitch You better work, bitch You better work, bitch Now get to work, bitch (CHEERING) Bring it on Ring the alarm Don't stop now, just be the champion Work it hard, like it's your profession Watch out now Cause here it comes Here comes the smasher Here comes the master Here comes the big beat Big beat disaster I make the governor Call me the governor I am the bad bitch The bitch that you'll never know Hold your head high Fingers to the sky They gonna try to try ya But they can't deny ya Keep it moving higher And higher Keep it moving higher And higher and higher Whoo! Work, work Work it out, work it out Oh my God! Work it out, work it out You better work, bitch (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Oh my God! - Whoo! - LL: Yo, this is wild.
- Did we make you proud, Chrissy? - You look so good! Oh my gosh! - Do you like my ass? - CHRISSY: Oh my God! Yes! Oh my God! These outfits.
Everything about it.
Incredible.
That was my first human soul cycle thing I've ever seen.
This is how we party in Mykonos, bitch! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) LL: Okay.
How does it feel to do this? - Next level? - Britney is the phoenix rising.
She's come from the ashes and back again.
- She's reinvented herself.
- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) She's so lucky, she's a star.
Alright, listen.
(CHUCKLES) You came out with the red bodysuit on.
You know what I'm saying? It's pretty obvious that you are into the latex.
Tell everybody how how, uh, sexy you feel in the latex tonight.
I feel so sexy.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING) Yes! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I need Bobby to stop hiding that ass on the show.
I didn't I had no idea what was in there! So Jonathan, how would you describe this performance? To see you with the hair color that you've always wanted - is really inspiring for me.
- BOBBY: I used to have it.
JONATHAN: You're finally, like, the bright blonde bleach and tone that you've always wanted.
And I am so happy to see you live in this wig.
- Tan - (LAUGHTER) Mommy wants to see you in a heel.
Oh! JONATHAN: I'm sorry, I just don't think Brit-Brit would come out in a flat.
You know I love you, however, the reason why I didn't wear a heel, is because I didn't want to upstage y'all.
- Oh! - LL: You know what? See? Okay! And on that note, Britney, Britney and Britney, you guys can work it on over to the VIP.
Thank you, that was amazing.
It was amazing, amazing.
Great job, great job.
You know what I'm saying? That was crazy! CHRISSY: Three for the price of one! Did they kill it or what? This battle is for real.
It's absolutely real, and when we come back, Karamo and Jonathan need to pull out all the stops to get that belt! Come on back, so we can see exactly how they'll do that.
This is Lip Sync Battle! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) It takes two to make a thing go right LSB is back, and now it's Jonathan and Karamo's turn to bring the noise! Let's see how they joined forces to ensure that when they walk off the stage, they're walking off with that belt in their hand.
Ya heard? - Hey, boo.
- Ah, you look so cute.
You look so cute.
You're killing it! - (VOICES OVERLAPPING) - Yeah, it's a dream team.
Yes, bitch! I think if we just do that with them, then it Calm down, sweetie.
- Let's get four more counts in.
- Okay! It's hard to, like, focus.
Actually, I'm just really paranoid that I'm gonna forget the words.
- Let's let this person you know - Yes, yes, yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! KARAMO: It goes so much faster when you have to go pump, pump, one, two.
And I'm singing, and I'm doing hair, hair, what, what! I'm just like "What!" What he said.
My whole job is to get into the mind of people.
I'm watching Karamo right now, and he's already given me an incredibly competitive look.
And I've got into the other guys' mind.
They're scared.
So, we're the nice guys on this team, thanks.
Get her out of here! - We have this! - Good job! Good.
Bobby, Antoni, Tan good luck? - Eh! - Eh! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) You cannot do this to me, henny! I know my rights! She gets a phone call.
(PHONE RINGS) I know you're not interrupting my Bey soak! HoneyBee, come break me up out of this jail cell, queen.
You've been a very bad, bad Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad girl, Jonny Hello, hello, baby You called, I can't hear a thing Sorry, I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy I'm kinda busy I'm kinda busy Sorry, I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy Just a second, it's my favorite song they're gonna play And now, you won't stop callin' me I'm kinda busy - Stop callin', stop callin' - Whoo! I don't wanna think anymore I left my head and my heart on the dance floor Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna talk anymore I left my head and my heart on the dance floor Boy, the way you blowin' up my phone Won't make me leave no faster Put my coat on faster Leave my girls no faster I shoulda left my phone at home Cause this is a disaster Callin' like a collector Sorry, I cannot answer It's not that I don't like you I'm just at a party And I am sick and tired Of my phone r-ringin' Sometimes I feel like I live In Grand Central Station Tonight, I'm not taking no calls Cause I'll be dancing Stop callin', stop callin' I don't want to think anymore I left my head and my heart on the dance floor Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna talk anymore I left my head and my heart on the dance floor (VOCALIZING) Stop telephoning me I'm busy (LINE DISCONNECTS) (HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Uh uh What do we do? (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) That was theater! That was gorgeous! - Look at your legs, Karamo.
- JONATHAN: Thank you! - Thank you, boo! - CHRISSY: Incredible! KARAMO: Hold on, everyone needs to know this is my first time, yesterday, in heels ever.
- That's a true story.
- And I started - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - in stiletto.
LL: Alright, so, Tan? How do you feel about your boys coming out here? Let me tell you.
No joke.
I've never been more proud of you two dumb-dumbs.
- Right, seriously! - Aww! - TAN: I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you, Tanny.
Listen, I was happy with what we did, but you guys killed! - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - LL: Alright! Well, on that note, Jonathan, Karamo.
You guys can head over to the VIP, hang out.
Much love, much love, we appreciate it.
Give 'em a round of applause! The Fab Five graced our stage, and gave us an epic Queer Eye meets LSB mash-up.
Which is one we won't soon forget, and when we come back, one of these talented teams will be taking home this beautiful championship belt.
It's blingy, it's heavy, and one of these teams will take it off my hands when we come back.
- This is Lip Sync Battle.
- Lip Sync Battle, baby! Let's ride! I left my head and my heart on the dance floor (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) It takes two to make a thing go right LL: Welcome back to Lip Sync Battle! The cast of the Queer Eye came here, and dominated our stage tonight.
Amazing energy, lots of laughs.
Beautiful vibes! Based on what we witnessed, you're all champions, but only one of you can go, you know, away with the, uh, LSB belt.
You know what I'm saying? One team, that is.
So, uh, are you guys ready? - We're ready.
- We're ready.
- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - Chrissy, let's do this.
Ladies and gentlemen, will the belt go to Antoni, Bobby and Tan? (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Or will the Lip Sync Battle championship belt go to Jonathan and Karamo? (LOUD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And the team that will be crowned champion of Lip Sync Battle tonight is - Jonathan and Karamo! - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Okay, so I have to first say tonight was epic! All of us put the most work in we've ever put in trying to do something like this.
And though Jonathan and I have become victorious, nothing will break up the Fab Five! Never! This is all of us.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) So, just tell us how you enjoyed the experience.
How did you feel about it? - Um - This was epic.
I mean, I never, first of all, thought I would ever be in heels and a wig.
And I'm living for it! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Of all the amazing moments we've had together in the last year, this is, by far, the best.
(ALL AGREEING) And I just want to say, we're happy to have you here.
You're welcome here.
We appreciate you guys coming here, sharing your talent with us.
We appreciate Congratulations on the show.
The huge success that you have.
- Give them another round of applause.
- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I just want to give a big thanks to the cast of Queer Eye for being a dope addition to our Lip Sync crew tonight.
And a big shout-out to Lip Sync nation all over the world.
(LAUGHING) One love from me, LL Cool J, and Chrissy Teigen.
And remember, whatever you do in life, baby, "Knock 'em out the box, L! Knock 'em out, L!" Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna talk anymore I left my head and my heart on the dance floor Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna talk anymore I left my head and my heart on the dance floor Boy, the way you blowin' up my phone Won't make me leave no faster Put my coat on faster Leave my girls no faster I shoulda left my phone at home