Macgyver s05e01 Episode Script
Legend of the Holy Rose (1)
Leaders of the economic|summit in geneva vowed to ratify|the interim agreement.
In other news, the war against|the powerful drug lords of colombia has taken a new|and dangerous direction.
Narco-terrorism|has been unleashed on the united states soil with the same degree|of arrogance as the declaration of war made by the medellin|cocaine cartel leaders against the colombian|government last month.
Fonsico echevirria, the 1st|of the 12 extraditables to be placed|in u.
s.
Custody, and described as one of|the world's richest men, has retaliated.
his mercenaries kidnapped|a young american journalist.
Their hostage,|alexander shannon, son of united states senator,|tom shannon.
Young shannon|is the journalist who exposed the inner|workings of the medellin cartel in a major book|published last year.
Sources indicate that|the cartel has demanded echevirria be released with safe conduct|back to colombia in exchange|for shannon's life.
Authorities, however,|refuse comment, only to state that echevirria|will not be released under any circumstances.
On wall street today,|the financial You are neglecting your work,|mr.
Shannon.
And so long as|you are my guest, You will earn|your keep, yes don't get your hopes up,|mr.
Shannon.
It seems no one in your|country wants you back.
So, escobar, how do you like|runnin' a prison camp along with|your construction business? Ah, the bosses know that i|pick the most secure sites for their cocaine|laboratories.
why shouldn't they trust m to keep|their prisoner of war, eh? So i told my wife,|maybe someday i'll bring a good woman up here|for you to soak with in the hot tub.
What hot tub? The one that|i brought up in the net.
Over there.
I don't order|no stinking hot tub.
Come on.
Let's open it It's stupid.
Why would anybody|send me a hot tub? Maybe the bosses thought|it would keep you happy.
I think the bosses spend|too much time in california.
Alexander shannon? Name's macgyver.
American? Proud of it.
I came to get you|out of here.
You d.
e.
A? No, phoenix foundation we find we don't have to|cut through as much red tape to do this sort of thing.
I'll meet you|behind the storage area.
Uh, look, don't think me|ungrateful, but what's your plan? I brought climbing equipment, everything|we need to get off the mountain.
Then we take|a little boat ride i've got a problem.
|Your plan? I tried it last week without the climbing|equipment.
Great.
You got any other ideas? Yeah, the chopper.
|It's all there is.
We got to get to it.
I guess we're just gonna|have to wait another 10 days.
I don't think you or my|makeup will last that long.
Ok.
New plan.
Where can i get|4 or 5 hours of privacy? Lunch is over.
The mess hall.
Ok.
You're gonna have|to help me on this.
I need a bunch of plastic.
Uh, something like,|uh, garbage bags.
Heavy-duty kind.
Heavy-duty garbage bags? yeah.
And this|bamboo scaffolding about 100 feet should do it.
Can we discuss this? No.
You don't want to know.
Right now, you've got|to find an excuse to assemble the scaffoldin|g under that lean-to.
Can you handle that? I think so good.
Oh, and duct tape.
I'll need|lots of duct tape.
Duct tape? Hey, you! You, shannon! Where are you goin|g with that bamboo? Uh, i thought i'd move|into the shade, mr.
Escobar.
That way i'll work faster.
All right.
Be sure you do.
A cement mixer? Macgyver.
Garbage bags.
|More duct tape.
Lots of duct tape.
You're doing good.
How you holdin' up? Fine.
|That's good.
'Cause now i need you|to build me 5 basic frames.
and 2, 9 by 6.
Slip 'em under the tent flap|as you finish 'em.
Oh! And another tire.
Uh, one of the wheelbarrow|s ought to do it.
Oh, my god.
I just figured out|what you're doing.
You know what i think?|I think you're crazy! Give me a few hours,|you'll know for sure.
I've got one section left.
I have a hunch|we're about to have company.
We'll make it.
Just one|minute.
We'll make it.
We don't have a minute|.
they're coming.
Hold them off.
Get in here! Let's go! Buckle up! It'll never fly! You don't know that! It flies.
It really flies! Of course! Home, sweet home,|sweet home.
Yeah.
And another one behind us.
Macgyver, i thank you.
And the shannon family|thanks you.
Yeah.
Pete, you want to tap into|some of your other agents for the next month or 2? I'm about to take|a very long nap.
Done.
Oh, uh, one thing.
The medellin cartel|is not too happy about this great escape of yours,|so, uh, watch yourself, ok? Good night, pete.
Good night.
Want to hit the light? Yeah, hit the lights.
Hello? Hello, macgyver! Remember me, macgyver? It's been a while.
Think.
|Mission city, minnesota.
You were a senior in high|school, i was in 7th grade.
We lived next door|to each other.
Zoe? Zoe ryan? I'm glad that the colombian|rescue i read about didn't completely|soften your brain.
You did this? What's the matter? You|don't think the weaker sex is up to a task|this formidable? You did! You did this! Do you remember what jack|dalton always used to say when we were kids|in the neighborhood? "If you want macgyver's help, first you have to get his|full and undivided attention.
" I think i did it.
|Don't you? You've lost it, zoe.
You are completely out of it.
And you haven't|changed a bit.
You always used to say|stuff like that to me.
That's because|you were always a pest like now.
Well, does this mean|you're not gonna help me? That's right.
Well, i'm going then.
Nice to see you again,|macgyver.
No, wait, wait, wait, wait|.
hold it.
just hold it.
What? Give me the rope.
Does this mean|you're gonna help me? It depends on|what you want me to do well, it's not illegal or anything,|if that's what you're thinking.
Hey, did i tell you|that i got promoted? You are now looking at a full associate|professor in archaeology.
Congratulations.
It doesn'|t answer my question.
Oh, well, i found|this great lead in greece.
It's an artifact|that's incredible, and these guys wanted|to put up a grant, but they don't anymore because i|caught on they were playing games.
And, anyway, the dean shut|down the whole project, and i don't have|a lot of money to play with.
You'd think the faculty|would pitch in, but those idiots think|i'm going off the deep end, just because i dared to ask|a few too many picky questions zoe about their 50|years of precious research.
Which i think is|the most unmitigated, zoe narrow minded, male dominated, Myopic bunch of|hey! Slow down zoe, will you hold it? What? Just tell me|what you want me to do.
Help me find the holy grail.
Indiana jones|already did that.
I saw the movie.
|Macgyver, be serious.
You be serious.
I am.
Here we are.
Terrific.
|You bet, terrific.
When i show you what i have|and what we're after, you're gonna thank me|a thousand times over for providing|this opportunity.
Yeah, i'm sure|Ryan! Hold it right there!|I want to talk to you.
Another fan? Bull grogan.
|He's a fascist pig.
Hi, coach.
|What can i do for you? I want you|to see somethin'.
This is my friend,|macgyver.
Follow me! Why do i get the feeling|that being your friend Could be dangerous look.
Just look at that! Those are my students.
So? "So"? What "so"? That's my football field and|there's a game tomorrow night.
And that field used to be an|indian village about 200 years ago.
Listen, coach.
Your department has about|a hundred zillion dollars.
Mine is almost broke.
Now what's|the more important contribution here? A bunch of your neanderthals|crushing bones every saturday night so that the male ego can|go on another feeding frenzy, or my students getting|their young minds nourished, learning to draw on the past so that maybe we can develop|a more humane future.
It's not a bad question.
They had better|be out of there and that field back to playing|condition before saturday's game, or your department's|not only gonna be broke, it's gonna be annihilated! Gosh, he bugs me.
Sometimes, i think the|whole faculty is against me.
Well, i wouldn't have|any doubts about the coach well, they'll see.
Just wait till|i prove it to 'em.
Just wait till you and i|come up with the evidence.
This, uh, holy grail? Yeah, what i'm about|to show you, mr.
Macgyver, is going to|knock your socks off.
Ugh! Stop him! Stop him! Don't let him get away! Why didn't you stop him? Was he carrying anything? My god,|i hope he didn't find it.
Oh, please, please, please,|let it be here.
Who was that guy? I can't prove it, but probably|one of von leer's goons.
Whose goons? You know, erich von leer.
|That fat cat from south africa who darn near controls the|world market in precious stones.
And a world class thief,|in my humble opinion.
Well, why would this|von leer be so interested in whatever it is|you're looking for? It's kind of complicated.
Zoe, everything about you|is complicated.
Try me.
Well, von leer put up a grant|for my last expedition.
Only i didn't know|it was von leer.
The school ran the money through|a department account, you know? Yeah.
So, the second i got|back from greece with my find, von leer was banging|on the dean's door trying to put up another grant to|finance the follow-up expedition.
Yeah.
|Only this time i find out That von leer has|his fingers in the pot so, i told 'em all|to kiss off and die, 'cause with their money|comes their control, you know? So, the dean went nuts.
Pulled the plug|on the whole project.
That's why i got you to|volunteer for the mission.
Now, they're trying|to steal the artifact.
I got it! He didn't find it.
I got it.
Look, i got it.
It's safe.
That's swell.
Macgyver.
Macgyver! Where are you going?|Home.
Are you all right?|No.
But, i'll take my chances.
And should you choose to set|me adrift at sea once again, so be it.
I'll still be a lot better|off than i am right now.
Then you're not gonna help me|find the holy grail? That's right.
But you have to.
|I don't have anyone else.
Zoe, is it any wonder? Did anyone ever tell you that you|operate about 15 degrees off center? I'm misunderstood sometimes.
|That's all.
I don't think the coach|misunderstood his football field.
I, for sure,|did not misunderstand my houseboat ending up|in the middle of the bay, or the way my jaw feels|at this moment.
Over a souvenir pillow! Come on!|This? It's not this.
Look.
Look here.
This is diana's mirror it was made by ambrose one of the 12th century's|greatest alchemists.
Look at it|I'm not interested.
But it holds the key to a|secret that's over 800 years old.
Ambrose's secret.
Look i am absolutely|not interested.
A secret that some people think|could solve the mysteries of life.
For crying out loud, macgyver,|why don't yo u just look at it? I am not he is coming,|mr.
Von leer.
Diana's mirror.
Where is it? I didn't find it.
|They came in on me.
They? The professor and and|some guy she was with.
I've never seen him before.
But they saw you.
Oh, that's no problem.
I|don't think they can i.
d.
Me.
You don't think.
With all that's at risk, you're|entirely too casual , mr.
Ahriman.
Casual? When she found|that gold mirror in greece, i started believing|all that legend jive.
About a giant ruby|and a hidden temple and a billion or so|in precious stones, so, you don't have to worry about me, mr.
|Von leer, i've got the big picture.
shima thinks there's much|more than just treasure at risk don't you, shima? You mean, all this hocus pocus|about the grail and, uh, finding the elixir|of eternal life? Well, i ain't gone|quite that far overboard.
Now, don't tell me you buy|into shima's mumbo jumbo.
Do you? I look at it this way.
If shima's correct, we'll all|have a great deal more time to enjoy the proceeds|from the treasures Of the temple|of the holy rose, won't we yeah, well,|i'll be more than happy to spend my cut|as a mere mortal.
I don't think you'll have|that opportunity, mr.
Ahriman.
Shima.
Well, now we must attend to the|professor and her new friend.
So with the help|of the ambrose legend, i tracked diana's mirror|through 13 digs.
i found it|in an ottoman ruin so, now i want to find|the temple of the holy rose, where ambrose hid All of the artifacts|of diana and the grail the stuff neolithic societie s worship.
Because when i do,|when we do, we'll prove that society took a|wrong turn about 5000 years ago.
E we'll prove that the human rac used to get along|with one another.
Zoe that men and|women lived as equals, and people, people were|loving and nurturing, and had a reverence|for nature.
Zoe, slow down.
They didn't|destro y their environment, but cared for it.
And most important,|they lived without war ok, but|and if the human race can live in peace once|, they can do it again.
Don't you see?|If we can prove that we're not destine d to|hurt and persecute each other, maybe we can|get back on track before we annihilate|ourselves.
Ok! But what has all that|got to do with this? I told you.
Diana's mirror is the key|to finding the temple.
No, you haven't|told me anything.
What temple? I believe zoe is speaking of|the temple of the holy rose.
It's the resting place of|the cauldron of regeneration, otherwise known|as the holy grail, related to|the goddess diana.
Thank you.
Professor wycliff, hi.
This is my friend,|macgyver.
Oh, yes, the man you said|you were going to recruit to help with|your follow-up expedition.
That escape of yours|in colombia was very interesting reading,|mr.
Macgyver.
Well, pardon me|if i seem rude, professor, but i'm not real sure|i'm going anywhere.
Not until i know|where and what for and i don't.
You don't? I'm afraid|in professor ryan's zeal, to change the direction|of archeology, or society, for that matter, she does assume a level of|knowledge one does not yet possess.
Perhaps the two of us can, uh,|help fill in the blanks? The vault here is environmentally controlled to preserve these rare|illuminated manuscripts.
Ah, here we are.
|The story of ambrose.
The legend goes on to say that the great alchemist|ambrose s|protected the artifact and the grail|of all the female deities from destruction|by the church, by building a secret temple.
There we are.
Beautiful, isn't it? The story of ambrose.
T|the temple he buil is supposedly|100 fathoms in diameter, surrounded by 72 chapels made of blue sapphires|and emeralds, and in the center of the|building, under the dome, is where|the holy vessel is kept.
The cauldron of regeneration.
And you really think this temple|ambrose built really exists, huh? Until zoe found|diana's mirror, supposedly wrought|by ambrose himself i was prepared to relegate the stories|of the bards to myth and legend, but, now now, we have the first piece|of the ambrose puzzle.
The first piece? S the legend holds|ambrose created 3 artifact to symbolize|the mother goddess and dispersed them|across europe.
And you got to have|all 3 together to point the way|to the temple.
Diana's mirror the scepter|of the triple deity, and the holy rose itself.
That's why von leer was so hot|to put up another grant.
So we could lead him|right to the booty.
Well, von leer and his grants|are behind us now.
I don't think so.
|Someone was just in my office.
I'm positive they were trying|to steal the mirror.
Oh? And my money says|von leer is behind it.
If he finds the temple first,|everything that can turn a buck for him will be melted down,|chopped up, reset and sold before one scholar|gets a look at it.
And we can't|let that happen.
Finding diana's temple|and all of the artifacts could start|a scholastic revolution.
Zoe|turn a whole school of fuzzy academic thinking|completely around.
Are you done? That's my dream.
To do that.
You have diana's mirror.
Where does it point? To the scepter but, i'm afraid professor ryan|is stil I trying to work out the problem of where|it may be located.
No more.
|I figured it out last night.
According to the great|alchemist himself, it's in the abbey|of saint acerinus.
He says, and i quote, "et ibi aliquando|sese exorciza tu daemon foede.
" "And once there, exorcise|thee, thou unclean spirit.
" I've heard a phrase|like that before.
What does it mean?|I don't have a clue.
But, we'll find out|when we get there.
Where is there? London.
London.
An 800 year old abbey|in the middle of england? Chances are it's not even|standing anymore.
Then we'll dig.
I'm not that good|with a shovel.
Come on, macgyver,|i need you.
Why? Why me? Because when i think of all the|brilliant thing s that ambrose did to protect|what was good and decent, he reminds me of you.
So what better person|to help solve his mystery? That's quite a compliment,|mr.
Macgyver.
Or quite a snow job.
What do you say? Will you go? Your ambrose|was quite a guy.
Oh, thank you.
Ryan and macgyver.
|Just grab our bags.
We're gonna be back|to check in later.
Later? Wait a minute.
|What later? I was thinking of taking a|shower, grabbing something to eat, freshening up|a little bit.
S macgyver, the find of a|lifetime is out there waiting for u and you want to ding aroun|d with personal comforts? It's been waiting 800 years.
I don't|think another day is gonna matter.
A day? You want to wait|until tomorrow? I already can't eat,|thinking about it.
I would not sleep a wink if|i had to wait until tomorrow.
What are you trying to do,|ruin my health? Me ruin your health? Forgive me, mate, but do i|keep the meter ticking or what? Oh, all right.
Drop us at the abbey|of saint acerinus.
You're the greatest.
Yeah.
Me and ambrose.
There's no abbey in my book|called acerinus.
Acerinus.
It's section 2, lot 5,|parcel 16 in chelsea.
Ducky, do i look|like a surveyor? Oh, yeah.
Corner of whittingham|and bellows.
Think you can find that? They are on their way.
Make sure|they have a proper greeting.
Well, i'll bet you old|ambrose never expected this.
Hey, at least the building|is still standing.
Come on hello? Hello yourself.
No need to holler, dearie,|you'll raise the dead.
Um, hi.
We we'd like|a couple of tickets.
And i'd like to oblige a|handsome bloke such as yourself, but as you can see, jamie and me are just in the|process of closing up for the day.
Aren't we, jamie? It's only 3:00 it's monday, dearie.
|At 3:00 on monday, jamie stands watch while i go|to see me hairdressers.
You'll have to|come back tomorrow, love.
Shoot.
|Uh, eunice, here's a little something|for your hairdresser.
For being late.
Well, now, isn't he just the smooth one,|all right? Isn't he just the smooth one|all right? Now there's|a comprehensive vision of christianity's|gory history for you.
Any idea of how to start|looking for a scepter in here? Start thinking like|your ancient counterpart.
How would he|have hidden it what was that inscription|on diana's mirror? Iter nunc face|ad abbatiam now, come on.
My latin is very rusty "journey now to|the abbey of st.
Acerinus.
Once there, exorcize thee,|thou unclean spirit.
" "Exorcize thee,|thou unclean spirit.
" I know i've heard|that phrase before That's it, of course.
That's what?|You're onto something? Michele borges' new baby.
Uh, she and her husband, mike,|both work at the phoenix foundation.
Well, terrific, but what does|that have to do with anything? I went to their baby's|baptism last month, and during the ceremony, the|priest said the same thing.
"Exorcize thee,|thou unclean spirit.
" Get it? Water baptism! Baptismal! You're right.
And there|should be one in here.
Part of|the building structure from what i can remember|of 12th century architecture, that should be it.
Take these panels down.
No scepter.
Look.
Look here.
Yeah, aren't these markings|like the one on the mirror? The same.
The points fit in the slots.
Hallelujah, ambrose.
well, that makes sense.
Mother of creatures, lunar virgin, huntress.
Next step, the holy rose.
I'm afraid you're in for a|major disappointment , ducky.
But i'll give your best to|me hairdresser all the same.
Come on, move out of there von leer.
Yes, professor.
You've made it|quite difficult for us yeah,|she's very good at that.
And macgyver|of the phoenix foundation.
We looked you up.
Good.
Glad to hear it.
Impressive credentials in fact, i've determined that you're|far too dangerous to have around, so i've had to make|a very difficult decision.
The professor|will accompany me and provide the|appropriate interpretations to the secrets of ambrose|so we may find the treasure.
And you will die.
|Shima, shoot him.
No! I swear, you touch him,|these scepters get wiped out.
You'll never find the temple.
Well, Looks like she's got you|in what we call a standoff you're right.
|You're absolutely right.
She must care a great|deal for you, mr.
Macgyver.
Eunice, get the car ready.
Yes, sir.
Mammon, introduce mr.
Macgyver to|the, uh, sarcophagus, would you? What are you doing? I'm giving you the opportunity|to make a more considered decision Now, professor, i do wish you'd|reconsider your previous threat.
You see, as the water|level in this tank lowers, it fills the spoon, which then|triggers the ratchet and lowers the blade.
One of the more ingenious|devices of the inquisition, wouldn't you say? In a minute or so, mr.
Macgyver|will begi n to suffer terribly.
When it's all over,|he'll be half the man he was.
You dirty, rotten, simple-minded|excuse for a human being.
If one hair on his head is control yourself! You have a|very important decision to make.
All right! Stop it! A wise decision.
Hurry up, hurry! Come on.
Get him off of there.
Escort her to the car.
Now what about macgyver? Von leer! Von leer! You you're very fortunate to have|such caring friends, mr.
Macgyver.
I'm sure that your expertise|would be very useful in our quest for the temple|of the holy rose, but, uh, as i said before,|you're just too dangerous.
Intriguing, isn't it?
In other news, the war against|the powerful drug lords of colombia has taken a new|and dangerous direction.
Narco-terrorism|has been unleashed on the united states soil with the same degree|of arrogance as the declaration of war made by the medellin|cocaine cartel leaders against the colombian|government last month.
Fonsico echevirria, the 1st|of the 12 extraditables to be placed|in u.
s.
Custody, and described as one of|the world's richest men, has retaliated.
his mercenaries kidnapped|a young american journalist.
Their hostage,|alexander shannon, son of united states senator,|tom shannon.
Young shannon|is the journalist who exposed the inner|workings of the medellin cartel in a major book|published last year.
Sources indicate that|the cartel has demanded echevirria be released with safe conduct|back to colombia in exchange|for shannon's life.
Authorities, however,|refuse comment, only to state that echevirria|will not be released under any circumstances.
On wall street today,|the financial You are neglecting your work,|mr.
Shannon.
And so long as|you are my guest, You will earn|your keep, yes don't get your hopes up,|mr.
Shannon.
It seems no one in your|country wants you back.
So, escobar, how do you like|runnin' a prison camp along with|your construction business? Ah, the bosses know that i|pick the most secure sites for their cocaine|laboratories.
why shouldn't they trust m to keep|their prisoner of war, eh? So i told my wife,|maybe someday i'll bring a good woman up here|for you to soak with in the hot tub.
What hot tub? The one that|i brought up in the net.
Over there.
I don't order|no stinking hot tub.
Come on.
Let's open it It's stupid.
Why would anybody|send me a hot tub? Maybe the bosses thought|it would keep you happy.
I think the bosses spend|too much time in california.
Alexander shannon? Name's macgyver.
American? Proud of it.
I came to get you|out of here.
You d.
e.
A? No, phoenix foundation we find we don't have to|cut through as much red tape to do this sort of thing.
I'll meet you|behind the storage area.
Uh, look, don't think me|ungrateful, but what's your plan? I brought climbing equipment, everything|we need to get off the mountain.
Then we take|a little boat ride i've got a problem.
|Your plan? I tried it last week without the climbing|equipment.
Great.
You got any other ideas? Yeah, the chopper.
|It's all there is.
We got to get to it.
I guess we're just gonna|have to wait another 10 days.
I don't think you or my|makeup will last that long.
Ok.
New plan.
Where can i get|4 or 5 hours of privacy? Lunch is over.
The mess hall.
Ok.
You're gonna have|to help me on this.
I need a bunch of plastic.
Uh, something like,|uh, garbage bags.
Heavy-duty kind.
Heavy-duty garbage bags? yeah.
And this|bamboo scaffolding about 100 feet should do it.
Can we discuss this? No.
You don't want to know.
Right now, you've got|to find an excuse to assemble the scaffoldin|g under that lean-to.
Can you handle that? I think so good.
Oh, and duct tape.
I'll need|lots of duct tape.
Duct tape? Hey, you! You, shannon! Where are you goin|g with that bamboo? Uh, i thought i'd move|into the shade, mr.
Escobar.
That way i'll work faster.
All right.
Be sure you do.
A cement mixer? Macgyver.
Garbage bags.
|More duct tape.
Lots of duct tape.
You're doing good.
How you holdin' up? Fine.
|That's good.
'Cause now i need you|to build me 5 basic frames.
and 2, 9 by 6.
Slip 'em under the tent flap|as you finish 'em.
Oh! And another tire.
Uh, one of the wheelbarrow|s ought to do it.
Oh, my god.
I just figured out|what you're doing.
You know what i think?|I think you're crazy! Give me a few hours,|you'll know for sure.
I've got one section left.
I have a hunch|we're about to have company.
We'll make it.
Just one|minute.
We'll make it.
We don't have a minute|.
they're coming.
Hold them off.
Get in here! Let's go! Buckle up! It'll never fly! You don't know that! It flies.
It really flies! Of course! Home, sweet home,|sweet home.
Yeah.
And another one behind us.
Macgyver, i thank you.
And the shannon family|thanks you.
Yeah.
Pete, you want to tap into|some of your other agents for the next month or 2? I'm about to take|a very long nap.
Done.
Oh, uh, one thing.
The medellin cartel|is not too happy about this great escape of yours,|so, uh, watch yourself, ok? Good night, pete.
Good night.
Want to hit the light? Yeah, hit the lights.
Hello? Hello, macgyver! Remember me, macgyver? It's been a while.
Think.
|Mission city, minnesota.
You were a senior in high|school, i was in 7th grade.
We lived next door|to each other.
Zoe? Zoe ryan? I'm glad that the colombian|rescue i read about didn't completely|soften your brain.
You did this? What's the matter? You|don't think the weaker sex is up to a task|this formidable? You did! You did this! Do you remember what jack|dalton always used to say when we were kids|in the neighborhood? "If you want macgyver's help, first you have to get his|full and undivided attention.
" I think i did it.
|Don't you? You've lost it, zoe.
You are completely out of it.
And you haven't|changed a bit.
You always used to say|stuff like that to me.
That's because|you were always a pest like now.
Well, does this mean|you're not gonna help me? That's right.
Well, i'm going then.
Nice to see you again,|macgyver.
No, wait, wait, wait, wait|.
hold it.
just hold it.
What? Give me the rope.
Does this mean|you're gonna help me? It depends on|what you want me to do well, it's not illegal or anything,|if that's what you're thinking.
Hey, did i tell you|that i got promoted? You are now looking at a full associate|professor in archaeology.
Congratulations.
It doesn'|t answer my question.
Oh, well, i found|this great lead in greece.
It's an artifact|that's incredible, and these guys wanted|to put up a grant, but they don't anymore because i|caught on they were playing games.
And, anyway, the dean shut|down the whole project, and i don't have|a lot of money to play with.
You'd think the faculty|would pitch in, but those idiots think|i'm going off the deep end, just because i dared to ask|a few too many picky questions zoe about their 50|years of precious research.
Which i think is|the most unmitigated, zoe narrow minded, male dominated, Myopic bunch of|hey! Slow down zoe, will you hold it? What? Just tell me|what you want me to do.
Help me find the holy grail.
Indiana jones|already did that.
I saw the movie.
|Macgyver, be serious.
You be serious.
I am.
Here we are.
Terrific.
|You bet, terrific.
When i show you what i have|and what we're after, you're gonna thank me|a thousand times over for providing|this opportunity.
Yeah, i'm sure|Ryan! Hold it right there!|I want to talk to you.
Another fan? Bull grogan.
|He's a fascist pig.
Hi, coach.
|What can i do for you? I want you|to see somethin'.
This is my friend,|macgyver.
Follow me! Why do i get the feeling|that being your friend Could be dangerous look.
Just look at that! Those are my students.
So? "So"? What "so"? That's my football field and|there's a game tomorrow night.
And that field used to be an|indian village about 200 years ago.
Listen, coach.
Your department has about|a hundred zillion dollars.
Mine is almost broke.
Now what's|the more important contribution here? A bunch of your neanderthals|crushing bones every saturday night so that the male ego can|go on another feeding frenzy, or my students getting|their young minds nourished, learning to draw on the past so that maybe we can develop|a more humane future.
It's not a bad question.
They had better|be out of there and that field back to playing|condition before saturday's game, or your department's|not only gonna be broke, it's gonna be annihilated! Gosh, he bugs me.
Sometimes, i think the|whole faculty is against me.
Well, i wouldn't have|any doubts about the coach well, they'll see.
Just wait till|i prove it to 'em.
Just wait till you and i|come up with the evidence.
This, uh, holy grail? Yeah, what i'm about|to show you, mr.
Macgyver, is going to|knock your socks off.
Ugh! Stop him! Stop him! Don't let him get away! Why didn't you stop him? Was he carrying anything? My god,|i hope he didn't find it.
Oh, please, please, please,|let it be here.
Who was that guy? I can't prove it, but probably|one of von leer's goons.
Whose goons? You know, erich von leer.
|That fat cat from south africa who darn near controls the|world market in precious stones.
And a world class thief,|in my humble opinion.
Well, why would this|von leer be so interested in whatever it is|you're looking for? It's kind of complicated.
Zoe, everything about you|is complicated.
Try me.
Well, von leer put up a grant|for my last expedition.
Only i didn't know|it was von leer.
The school ran the money through|a department account, you know? Yeah.
So, the second i got|back from greece with my find, von leer was banging|on the dean's door trying to put up another grant to|finance the follow-up expedition.
Yeah.
|Only this time i find out That von leer has|his fingers in the pot so, i told 'em all|to kiss off and die, 'cause with their money|comes their control, you know? So, the dean went nuts.
Pulled the plug|on the whole project.
That's why i got you to|volunteer for the mission.
Now, they're trying|to steal the artifact.
I got it! He didn't find it.
I got it.
Look, i got it.
It's safe.
That's swell.
Macgyver.
Macgyver! Where are you going?|Home.
Are you all right?|No.
But, i'll take my chances.
And should you choose to set|me adrift at sea once again, so be it.
I'll still be a lot better|off than i am right now.
Then you're not gonna help me|find the holy grail? That's right.
But you have to.
|I don't have anyone else.
Zoe, is it any wonder? Did anyone ever tell you that you|operate about 15 degrees off center? I'm misunderstood sometimes.
|That's all.
I don't think the coach|misunderstood his football field.
I, for sure,|did not misunderstand my houseboat ending up|in the middle of the bay, or the way my jaw feels|at this moment.
Over a souvenir pillow! Come on!|This? It's not this.
Look.
Look here.
This is diana's mirror it was made by ambrose one of the 12th century's|greatest alchemists.
Look at it|I'm not interested.
But it holds the key to a|secret that's over 800 years old.
Ambrose's secret.
Look i am absolutely|not interested.
A secret that some people think|could solve the mysteries of life.
For crying out loud, macgyver,|why don't yo u just look at it? I am not he is coming,|mr.
Von leer.
Diana's mirror.
Where is it? I didn't find it.
|They came in on me.
They? The professor and and|some guy she was with.
I've never seen him before.
But they saw you.
Oh, that's no problem.
I|don't think they can i.
d.
Me.
You don't think.
With all that's at risk, you're|entirely too casual , mr.
Ahriman.
Casual? When she found|that gold mirror in greece, i started believing|all that legend jive.
About a giant ruby|and a hidden temple and a billion or so|in precious stones, so, you don't have to worry about me, mr.
|Von leer, i've got the big picture.
shima thinks there's much|more than just treasure at risk don't you, shima? You mean, all this hocus pocus|about the grail and, uh, finding the elixir|of eternal life? Well, i ain't gone|quite that far overboard.
Now, don't tell me you buy|into shima's mumbo jumbo.
Do you? I look at it this way.
If shima's correct, we'll all|have a great deal more time to enjoy the proceeds|from the treasures Of the temple|of the holy rose, won't we yeah, well,|i'll be more than happy to spend my cut|as a mere mortal.
I don't think you'll have|that opportunity, mr.
Ahriman.
Shima.
Well, now we must attend to the|professor and her new friend.
So with the help|of the ambrose legend, i tracked diana's mirror|through 13 digs.
i found it|in an ottoman ruin so, now i want to find|the temple of the holy rose, where ambrose hid All of the artifacts|of diana and the grail the stuff neolithic societie s worship.
Because when i do,|when we do, we'll prove that society took a|wrong turn about 5000 years ago.
E we'll prove that the human rac used to get along|with one another.
Zoe that men and|women lived as equals, and people, people were|loving and nurturing, and had a reverence|for nature.
Zoe, slow down.
They didn't|destro y their environment, but cared for it.
And most important,|they lived without war ok, but|and if the human race can live in peace once|, they can do it again.
Don't you see?|If we can prove that we're not destine d to|hurt and persecute each other, maybe we can|get back on track before we annihilate|ourselves.
Ok! But what has all that|got to do with this? I told you.
Diana's mirror is the key|to finding the temple.
No, you haven't|told me anything.
What temple? I believe zoe is speaking of|the temple of the holy rose.
It's the resting place of|the cauldron of regeneration, otherwise known|as the holy grail, related to|the goddess diana.
Thank you.
Professor wycliff, hi.
This is my friend,|macgyver.
Oh, yes, the man you said|you were going to recruit to help with|your follow-up expedition.
That escape of yours|in colombia was very interesting reading,|mr.
Macgyver.
Well, pardon me|if i seem rude, professor, but i'm not real sure|i'm going anywhere.
Not until i know|where and what for and i don't.
You don't? I'm afraid|in professor ryan's zeal, to change the direction|of archeology, or society, for that matter, she does assume a level of|knowledge one does not yet possess.
Perhaps the two of us can, uh,|help fill in the blanks? The vault here is environmentally controlled to preserve these rare|illuminated manuscripts.
Ah, here we are.
|The story of ambrose.
The legend goes on to say that the great alchemist|ambrose s|protected the artifact and the grail|of all the female deities from destruction|by the church, by building a secret temple.
There we are.
Beautiful, isn't it? The story of ambrose.
T|the temple he buil is supposedly|100 fathoms in diameter, surrounded by 72 chapels made of blue sapphires|and emeralds, and in the center of the|building, under the dome, is where|the holy vessel is kept.
The cauldron of regeneration.
And you really think this temple|ambrose built really exists, huh? Until zoe found|diana's mirror, supposedly wrought|by ambrose himself i was prepared to relegate the stories|of the bards to myth and legend, but, now now, we have the first piece|of the ambrose puzzle.
The first piece? S the legend holds|ambrose created 3 artifact to symbolize|the mother goddess and dispersed them|across europe.
And you got to have|all 3 together to point the way|to the temple.
Diana's mirror the scepter|of the triple deity, and the holy rose itself.
That's why von leer was so hot|to put up another grant.
So we could lead him|right to the booty.
Well, von leer and his grants|are behind us now.
I don't think so.
|Someone was just in my office.
I'm positive they were trying|to steal the mirror.
Oh? And my money says|von leer is behind it.
If he finds the temple first,|everything that can turn a buck for him will be melted down,|chopped up, reset and sold before one scholar|gets a look at it.
And we can't|let that happen.
Finding diana's temple|and all of the artifacts could start|a scholastic revolution.
Zoe|turn a whole school of fuzzy academic thinking|completely around.
Are you done? That's my dream.
To do that.
You have diana's mirror.
Where does it point? To the scepter but, i'm afraid professor ryan|is stil I trying to work out the problem of where|it may be located.
No more.
|I figured it out last night.
According to the great|alchemist himself, it's in the abbey|of saint acerinus.
He says, and i quote, "et ibi aliquando|sese exorciza tu daemon foede.
" "And once there, exorcise|thee, thou unclean spirit.
" I've heard a phrase|like that before.
What does it mean?|I don't have a clue.
But, we'll find out|when we get there.
Where is there? London.
London.
An 800 year old abbey|in the middle of england? Chances are it's not even|standing anymore.
Then we'll dig.
I'm not that good|with a shovel.
Come on, macgyver,|i need you.
Why? Why me? Because when i think of all the|brilliant thing s that ambrose did to protect|what was good and decent, he reminds me of you.
So what better person|to help solve his mystery? That's quite a compliment,|mr.
Macgyver.
Or quite a snow job.
What do you say? Will you go? Your ambrose|was quite a guy.
Oh, thank you.
Ryan and macgyver.
|Just grab our bags.
We're gonna be back|to check in later.
Later? Wait a minute.
|What later? I was thinking of taking a|shower, grabbing something to eat, freshening up|a little bit.
S macgyver, the find of a|lifetime is out there waiting for u and you want to ding aroun|d with personal comforts? It's been waiting 800 years.
I don't|think another day is gonna matter.
A day? You want to wait|until tomorrow? I already can't eat,|thinking about it.
I would not sleep a wink if|i had to wait until tomorrow.
What are you trying to do,|ruin my health? Me ruin your health? Forgive me, mate, but do i|keep the meter ticking or what? Oh, all right.
Drop us at the abbey|of saint acerinus.
You're the greatest.
Yeah.
Me and ambrose.
There's no abbey in my book|called acerinus.
Acerinus.
It's section 2, lot 5,|parcel 16 in chelsea.
Ducky, do i look|like a surveyor? Oh, yeah.
Corner of whittingham|and bellows.
Think you can find that? They are on their way.
Make sure|they have a proper greeting.
Well, i'll bet you old|ambrose never expected this.
Hey, at least the building|is still standing.
Come on hello? Hello yourself.
No need to holler, dearie,|you'll raise the dead.
Um, hi.
We we'd like|a couple of tickets.
And i'd like to oblige a|handsome bloke such as yourself, but as you can see, jamie and me are just in the|process of closing up for the day.
Aren't we, jamie? It's only 3:00 it's monday, dearie.
|At 3:00 on monday, jamie stands watch while i go|to see me hairdressers.
You'll have to|come back tomorrow, love.
Shoot.
|Uh, eunice, here's a little something|for your hairdresser.
For being late.
Well, now, isn't he just the smooth one,|all right? Isn't he just the smooth one|all right? Now there's|a comprehensive vision of christianity's|gory history for you.
Any idea of how to start|looking for a scepter in here? Start thinking like|your ancient counterpart.
How would he|have hidden it what was that inscription|on diana's mirror? Iter nunc face|ad abbatiam now, come on.
My latin is very rusty "journey now to|the abbey of st.
Acerinus.
Once there, exorcize thee,|thou unclean spirit.
" "Exorcize thee,|thou unclean spirit.
" I know i've heard|that phrase before That's it, of course.
That's what?|You're onto something? Michele borges' new baby.
Uh, she and her husband, mike,|both work at the phoenix foundation.
Well, terrific, but what does|that have to do with anything? I went to their baby's|baptism last month, and during the ceremony, the|priest said the same thing.
"Exorcize thee,|thou unclean spirit.
" Get it? Water baptism! Baptismal! You're right.
And there|should be one in here.
Part of|the building structure from what i can remember|of 12th century architecture, that should be it.
Take these panels down.
No scepter.
Look.
Look here.
Yeah, aren't these markings|like the one on the mirror? The same.
The points fit in the slots.
Hallelujah, ambrose.
well, that makes sense.
Mother of creatures, lunar virgin, huntress.
Next step, the holy rose.
I'm afraid you're in for a|major disappointment , ducky.
But i'll give your best to|me hairdresser all the same.
Come on, move out of there von leer.
Yes, professor.
You've made it|quite difficult for us yeah,|she's very good at that.
And macgyver|of the phoenix foundation.
We looked you up.
Good.
Glad to hear it.
Impressive credentials in fact, i've determined that you're|far too dangerous to have around, so i've had to make|a very difficult decision.
The professor|will accompany me and provide the|appropriate interpretations to the secrets of ambrose|so we may find the treasure.
And you will die.
|Shima, shoot him.
No! I swear, you touch him,|these scepters get wiped out.
You'll never find the temple.
Well, Looks like she's got you|in what we call a standoff you're right.
|You're absolutely right.
She must care a great|deal for you, mr.
Macgyver.
Eunice, get the car ready.
Yes, sir.
Mammon, introduce mr.
Macgyver to|the, uh, sarcophagus, would you? What are you doing? I'm giving you the opportunity|to make a more considered decision Now, professor, i do wish you'd|reconsider your previous threat.
You see, as the water|level in this tank lowers, it fills the spoon, which then|triggers the ratchet and lowers the blade.
One of the more ingenious|devices of the inquisition, wouldn't you say? In a minute or so, mr.
Macgyver|will begi n to suffer terribly.
When it's all over,|he'll be half the man he was.
You dirty, rotten, simple-minded|excuse for a human being.
If one hair on his head is control yourself! You have a|very important decision to make.
All right! Stop it! A wise decision.
Hurry up, hurry! Come on.
Get him off of there.
Escort her to the car.
Now what about macgyver? Von leer! Von leer! You you're very fortunate to have|such caring friends, mr.
Macgyver.
I'm sure that your expertise|would be very useful in our quest for the temple|of the holy rose, but, uh, as i said before,|you're just too dangerous.
Intriguing, isn't it?