Search Party (2016) s05e01 Episode Script

1 [AMBIENT MUSIC.]
[WATER RUSHING.]
[SIRENS WAILING.]
Blood pressure's dropping.
We're gonna lose her.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
Damn it, she's flatlining.
Come on, breathe.
Come on, breathe! Nothing? Time of death, 2:37 a.
m.
Christmas Day.
[MACHINERY BEEPING.]
[SOFT MUSIC.]
[LAUGHS.]
[COUGHING.]
I died! I was dead! [COUGHING.]
I saw everything! I saw everything! How you feeling? You were dead for 37 seconds, you know.
[MONITOR BEEPING.]
I've never felt better.
[AMBIENT ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Over till the sky is lowered - She's just walking - Dory! - Dory! - Where is room 221? We don't have time to look ourselves.
Excuse me, you all need to take it down a notch.
It's the holidays.
People are trying to die.
Oh, my God, there she is.
- Oh, my God.
- She looks awful.
Are you her family? Yeah, we're all married to her.
- Excuse me.
- Excuse us.
Sorry, we're Hi, Dory.
- Hi.
- Hi - Hi, guys.
- Honey, hi! Oh, sweetie, we came as almost as soon as we heard.
How are you doing? Are you okay? [MACHINERY BEEPING.]
I died.
- [LAUGHS.]
- No.
- I died.
- It sounds so funny.
I mean, I just can't believe it.
Do you mean dead like when people say "Okay, I'm literally dead" or dead like you're literally dead? No, Elliott, I was dead.
37 seconds! It's on my chart.
But I'm so happy.
I mean I'm just so hopeful, you know.
It's like a huge well of joy just just bubbling up from within me, you know.
It's love.
It's love.
Oh, and [CHUCKLES.]
it is infinite, but at the same time, there is no time.
You know, I can see the way you guys see me.
And it's so it's so funny, but it's all so true.
- Wow.
- Hmm.
- Cool.
- What did you see? I saw you.
Like, all of you.
And you were there, and you were there, and you were there! [LAUGHS.]
You were at my funeral.
And I was watching you.
You were all there for me.
Oh, it was so intense.
Well, that sounds like a really cool dream, Dory.
It really wasn't a dream, Drew.
- It was real.
- All right.
You were really there.
I mean, it was like an alternate universe where I I like, I stayed dead, you know.
And I almost stayed there.
But then I got a message, but it wasn't in words.
It was beyond that.
I was being combined, you know.
It was like all of my sides, like the different mes.
Just [IMITATING ZAPPING.]
Like, I was just connecting things, you know.
Just, like, at, like, a million miles per hour, you know.
It was like past, present, future, love, love, love, time, time, time, love, feature, time flying, fine, fine, time, time.
Love, love, everyone, everyone, everyone, love, time, time.
[BABBLING FRANTICALLY.]
And then, all of a sudden I was told to go back, because I had more work to do here.
- Wow, yeah.
- Mm.
And work is amazing.
Do you think you'll apply for jobs or? - No, I need you all - Come here.
[SNIFFLES.]
Come here.
Okay, honey.
I need y'all to really hear me.
Life is so beautiful.
I mean, oh, my God.
You know, just like what a gift.
I'm just so grateful.
We're alive.
We are all alive.
- Mm - Yeah.
That's I never thought of it that way.
- That's insane.
- Yeah.
Well, we should probably go talk to the doctor and just check in and see when we can get you out of here.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna see also if we can get you a little water for your dry little face.
- [GIGGLES.]
- All right, girly girl.
- Mwah.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- [SQUEAKS AND SIGHS.]
I do not wanna go back in there.
Life is beautiful? Like, no, it's not.
Look at how ugly everyone here is.
She died and imagined her own funeral.
It's like a level of narcissism that none of us can relate to.
But I don't think that's just narcissism.
I can be friends with a dead narcissist.
- I cannot be friends with that.
- 100%.
You guys, I think that we have to think about this responsibly, all right? I don't know if we can give her the type of help she needs.
Maybe we should actually commit her.
What? Commit her to, like, a loony bin? If that's not what crazy looks like, I don't know what is.
Maybe she just finally snapped.
You know, I hate agreeing with you, Drew, but I think honestly, you might be right.
I don't know if you guys remember, but I was committed once and you just check yourself out.
It's basically a hotel.
I think she needs, like, real help.
You know, like eyes on her at all times, - you know, like full blown.
- Yes.
Can you imagine that person just out in a restaurant or a state fair? [WHINES.]
Guys, what if she, like, hates us forever? It doesn't matter.
All right, we have to do what's right.
And also finally get her out of our lives once and for all.
Nursey, hi.
Can we forcibly commit someone to a mental institution? - Yeah, you absolutely can.
- It's called a 5150.
Is that something you'd be interested in today? ["WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS" PLAYING ON SPEAKER.]
Yeah.
Whee! Bye, bye.
Bye, bye.
I'd wave if I could.
Oh, bye.
Oh, wow, you're so beautiful.
Aw, I love you.
Thank you so much for pushing me with such good care.
Did we have a car in Babyfoot? How did we get there? Didn't we have a like, we rented a car? - No, it doesn't matter.
- Insurance covers everything.
Guys, we did the right thing, right? Yeah, absolutely.
She ruined our lives, like, ten times over.
Now we're never ever going to get real good normal jobs ever again.
So true.
I wouldn't be some news clown if it weren't for Dory.
You know what? I don't want that hanging over my head anymore.
I'm quitting.
I'm gonna retire too.
It's the last time I'm ever gonna play Dory.
You know what, guys? Sorry, actually, I'm gonna head that way.
I have something that I need to take care of that's actually pretty huge.
What El, what do you have to go take care of now? Portia, will you just mind your own goddamn business for once? - [INDIGNANT GASP.]
- I'm sorry.
I'm so tired.
I love you.
[GROANS.]
Babes, El.
[WHINING.]
Well, I don't have a place to stay tonight.
If if I could crash? Yeah, you can come over, Drewbie, keep me company.
- Oh, my God, what? - Hi.
I've been thinking and I think we can make it work.
No! - Don't get me wrong.
- Like, I wanna move on and I wanna love somebody else.
But if I cut ties with Dory, like, I don't wanna feel like no one's ever gonna love or know the real me, you know.
Especially not anybody normal.
I gotta really be honest with myself about what I've done.
Yeah, we're disgusting, and we're cursed.
- Yeah.
- Just feel like [SIGHS.]
I don't know, nobody new is ever gonna love us.
So true.
No one is ever gonna understand this.
And it's like, "What?" [GROANS.]
What are we supposed to do? Fuck each other? [LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
That's the thing, that's what wasn't working between us.
We were toxic, but we weren't honoring that.
Right, and that's what makes us soulmates in the shadows.
Exactly, Mark, exactly.
Yeah, we just need to be better at communicating our own toxic needs.
Like, personally, there are moments when I need to not think about you for huge chunks of time.
You know, that's my own time for me to cut my heart off to you.
- I hear that.
- Mm-hmm.
And, for me, there are instances when I need you to hurt me.
- Great.
- Yeah.
But not in a way that feels planned, you know.
Yeah.
I-I want it to feel organic, you know? Like, I will resent it if I feel that you feel obligated to hurting me.
Aww/ Feels so good talking like this.
[LAUGHS.]
It really does.
- So what do you say? - Should we go for it? Yeah, let's do it.
Mm I want you to give me a baby.
- That's what I want.
- Yeah? That's just crazy 'cause I was just thinking that too, so.
Yeah? Do you think that we should have sex? I mean, I guess it's kinda like we don't have a choice.
So let the sex begin.
Right.
[BUTTONS SNAPPING.]
[UNZIPPING JACKET LOUDLY.]
[SIRENS WAILING DISTANTLY.]
[BELT BUCKLE CLANKING.]
[ZIPPER DRAGGING.]
How's the temperature in here? It's awesome, the temperature.
- I'm gonna kiss you.
- Okay.
Okay.
Mm Feels nice.
[C DUNCAN'S "SAY".]
[DREAMY POP MUSIC.]
Say something to stop The sound of the siren calls Say something to silence All of the sounding stalls away So bye So bowing on again To go where the April Isle I know Bowing on again and so And to see this grass or my elbow or the wind is it's to experience it all for the first time.
Would you say it's God? Well, Dr.
Lombardo, if I had to give it a name it's love.
And I-I just want to convey that to to everyone, you know.
I want them to feel what I feel.
Yes, yes.
I put my soul through so much over the years, but none of that evolution could ever hold a candle to the all-encompassing, total eclipse of death.
I am new.
I am changed.
And yet I have been here, always.
This is probably unprofessional of me to say, but I wish I were you.
You're the real deal.
You're enlightened.
You deserve to be let out of here.
Well, Dr.
Lombardo, tell it to the board.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I like it here, but I finally have a purpose.
I really believe I can help people.
You've helped me.
What if I told you, you could grow your own business on your own terms, free of messy negotiations, free of bad press, free of shame.
What if I told you with one download of an app you could set up shop anywhere, wherever, whenever without anybody stopping you.
SEIZE.
With SEIZE, the law is finally, totally on your side.
This proximity-based grid interface displays individuals who have no current legal representation and no means of acquiring one in the hottest up and coming areas.
You wanna open an organic vegan alcoholic popsicle shop? Well, let's go ahead and click on granny here and see if her home would make an excellent storefront.
I mean, pretty great intersection, right? Lots of foot traffic.
I mean, you gotta think she's tired of the commotion.
You would be doing her such a favor.
And with a database of legal templates, you will be able to exercise eminent domain within 48 hours.
- Wait, is that me up there? - Guilty.
Oh, this is a hoot.
Oh, that's great.
Where do we sign? - Don't do that.
- Don't do that.
Don't do what, Bob? Don't you abandon me, just because I gave up everything for you.
- You abandoned me in 1988.
- Oh! You know what I'm talking about.
I had to take the job to support our marijuana habit.
Stop! My darling, darling, darling, stop, stop, stop.
I'm gonna have to intervene.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, she's coming in.
She's coming in.
Let it go, let it go.
Let it go, let it go.
Deep breaths.
Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go.
I know I'm retired.
I am retired, but I've had a very full career.
I have a lot of credits.
A lot of credits.
Ricky, you stopped yourself.
- Why? - Oh, I did? - Mm-hmm.
- Why? - Um - Because of fear.
We all do it.
I'm gonna highlight a little something.
You go sit down.
You go, go.
Let's take it back a few lines.
Don't breathe.
Don't blink and go.
- Don't do that.
- Don't do that.
Don't do what, Bob? Don't you You dirty prick.
[CRYING.]
You dirty fucking prick! You dirty fucking prick! [MOANING.]
Do you see that? Hey! Did you guys take note of that? Because that's called being in the moment.
We can't plan life.
When we surrender, we're the most alive.
Beautiful work.
Oh, Ricky, beautiful work.
Oh, so that's it.
I think this is our last class.
So I'm gonna leave you guys with a little bit of wisdom.
It doesn't work out.
There are no good roles.
You're only gonna be torn down.
If you can find anything else to channel your passion into, do that.
And if it's at all possible, just die.
Is that a martini? [MOCKINGLY.]
Is that a martini? Fuck off.
- Mm! - [LAUGHS.]
I am nervous.
You're sure this is safe, right? Mark, every wealthy gay person has gone with Kiddos.
It's aspirational.
The babies here are real conversation starters.
- Good.
- [DOOR SLIDING OPEN.]
Goss-Doober? - It's us.
- It's us, yeah.
So, what did you have in mind? Well, I think it's safe to say we would prefer a boy, a gay baby boy.
- Or even queer.
- A queer baby.
And of course we are very open - to all ethnicities, of course.
- And religions.
But it would be ideal if they were 5'11 at the shortest so that they could carry us up the stairs to bed when we're very elderly.
And one blue eye and one brown eye, maybe, like hostile.
But it would also be good if he can make us feel protected like a dad.
Like a son that feels like a dad.
If that's anywhere in your checklist.
The gene selection techniques that SinGen employees are certainly capable of being that specific.
However, for the package that you are describing, we'd have to go all the way back to scratch and I'd have to put you on a waitlist for five years, at least.
[GROANS.]
To be frank, without a child, we might not be together in five years.
Well, there is something I could offer that might be of interest.
It's a project called Aspen.
A nine-year-old, Aspen was our first bio breed, and he's still in the facility, but something tells me you're gonna love him.
- [GASPS.]
- Baby, look, he's perfect.
That's him.
And this way we could skip all the poop years.
- Mm! - $400,000.
- We have that money.
- Wonderful.
Well, then, dads, you wanna do the honors? - Okay, okay.
- Ready? - Yeah.
- Oh, my God, it's happening.
[SQUEALING.]
[LAUGHTER.]
- Oh! - Oh, my God.
We did it.
Congratulations, Dad.
- Aw.
- I love you, Dad.
[EERIE MUSIC.]
- Mm.
- Mm - Mm! - Oh - It's so good.
- I love kissing you.
- Yeah.
- How about you go, and then I'll hang back for, like, ten minutes or so, and then, you know, I'll go in and I'll act totally normal.
So no one will like think we're together or anything.
I mean, I think it's fun if we show up at the same time, right? - No.
- No, yeah.
- Okay.
- No, no.
'Cause I don't want Elliot to, like, suspect anything.
Not that there's anything to suspect, but you know.
- No, yeah.
- I mean, it's it's not like we're doing anything that we have to be ashamed of.
Yeah, I'm not ashamed that it's, like, come to this.
Yeah, I think it's hot as hell.
- Mm-hmm.
- So happy.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Welcome to my new home.
- Oh, wow.
You guys arrived at the same time.
- No, no.
- Just ran into each other at Le Cordon Bleu coming in.
I told Portia, I was like, get the hell away from me, you weirdo.
- [LAUGHS.]
- This place is amazing.
- Thank you.
- Oh, my God, I love it, 'cause it really has the same character that our place had.
You know, you gotta see how I dressed it up without you.
And you, hi.
Hey, where's the kiddo? I'd love to meet the little guy.
Hello.
- Hi there.
- Hi, I'm Portia.
Hello, Ms.
Davenport, Mr.
Gardner.
- Ooh.
- Fathers.
- Oh, my gosh.
- That's so cute.
Did you guys tell him to call us that? I can call you whatever you want.
I want you to be comfortable in our home.
[LAUGHTER.]
- Aww! - That's very sweet of you.
Thank you.
Why do you two smell like each other? What? You smell like her and she smells like you.
- No, come on.
- You're crazy, little man.
That crazy little guy got This is wine from, uh it wasn't very expensive.
Ooh, mmm.
Yeah.
Mark, this is so elaborate.
Is there a recipe or is it just sort of like a bunch of ingredients that you mushed into one? Ooh, no, it's easy.
You just put potatoes, bouillon, and a bunch of water in a crepe pan.
And then you just keep layering on butter and vinegar and keep it wet, wet, wet, wet, wet, wet, wet.
And then you plate it and then you put it in a blender and then you re-plate it.
I found it on this account I follow called BigTimeFoodHacks.
- This is incredible.
- And it's so pretty.
Yeah, it's and you can - really taste the food hacks.
- Mm.
So, Portia, any fun new roles coming out.
Well, I'm I'm kind of at an age now when an actress must become a teacher, sort of pass the baton to the younger generation.
- So no more acting for me.
- Really? Well, you didn't tell me you were teaching.
Yes, I did.
I did tell you that over the one lunch we had this year.
I did tell you that I'm a teacher.
I love to teach.
I love it.
Good.
Drew, what are you doing work-wise? Oh, yeah, well, I'm helping launch this company that could be a huge game changer.
- Wow, fabulous.
- What is it? Oh, it's just this elite service that we need, and it's about high time that somebody did it, so.
- Cool.
- But what what is it? Well, it can make a huge impact.
- Right, but what is it? - It's good.
Yeah.
Good, good.
- So what is it? - Fill the blank.
- It's good, good, good.
- It is? Well, it is good for the world and it's not bad.
It's not bad.
It's not a bad thing, Elliot.
Oh, okay.
[MUFFLED POP MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS.]
Is there onion in this? You made it, babe.
- Right.
- Sorry.
[LAUGHS.]
Why does it taste so oniony? I wouldn't even know where to get an onion.
- Probably a grocery store.
- [LIQUID PATTERING.]
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God.
- Ew.
- Oh, Aspen, honey, honey.
- He's doing it again.
- He's doing it again.
- Are you urinating? - Aw, buddy.
Fathers, may Drew go clean me up? [SIGHS.]
Drew, would you mind? - Yes.
- I would mind.
I'm only on this earth once, and I've been sent to To spread love.
Please, you have to let me out.
Are you still contending with strong feelings that the world may soon end? [SIGHS.]
I believe that, if people don't awaken soon, that something very bad will happen to us, yes.
Apocalyptic paranoia, feelings of doom, these dispositions have been around for a very long time.
And we're still here.
You don't see what I see.
I can see the world so clearly now.
I see through the lies and the illusions.
I have to save everyone from their pain.
Dory, I-I just wanna reflect back to you what you just said.
You said you believe that you alone can save the world.
And if we don't let you out, the apocalypse is approaching.
[SIGHS.]
- Where's Dr.
Lombardo? - I'm sorry, Dory, but based on this evaluation and your history, we believe that it's best for us to keep you under our care and hold another evaluation in 18 months.
Quickly, quickly, before Mark comes back, put your food in the vase.
I-I do this every night.
- Thank God.
- Thank you.
I wasn't gonna say anything, but Jesus Christ.
I know, I think his meals are some kind of eating disorder.
Oh, my God, I'm gonna throw up.
- [GROANS.]
- That's good.
- [DOOR SHUTTING.]
- Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
He did not want to go to sleep, but he did.
You guys, you finished eating while I was out of the room.
- Yeah.
- You are just like Elliot.
You guys, thank you so much for having us, because it was just such a great night.
Love your family.
Aspen is just the sweetest little baby boy.
- He's fantastic.
- Isn't he so proper? - Yeah.
- We're all such adults now.
I mean, it seems like just yesterday we were kids, you know, young and making mistakes.
Speaking of mistakes, has anyone visited Dory? I have not because it's just it's far.
And I'm actually actively trying not to think about her.
Well, I will say that you all seem much calmer.
You know, everything isn't so life or death.
Mark, you're right.
I think we've all finally turned a new leaf, and now we can just focus on what we actually want, to wall off in comfort.
You know, I'm a wealthy stay-at-home dad, and I'm sorry, but there is nothing wrong with that.
We're adults and adults don't care about making a difference.
Amen, you guys, here's to not feeling like we have to change the damn world.
Yes! ALL: To not changing the damn world.
[GLASSES CLINKING.]
[CLOCK TICKING.]
[TENSE MUSIC.]
[PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
[METALLIC ROARING.]
- They're dead! - They're all dead! - Oh, my God.
- Run! Oh, my God! [SHRIEKING.]
[DARK DRAMATIC MUSIC.]