The A-Team (1983) s05e01 Episode Script
Dishpan Man
Is this it? Yes, sir.
The profile is coming up on the computer.
Able Six reports he can drop on him any time.
No.
Tell Able Six to wait.
I want to do it my way.
Now, Frank, the smoke you see indicates that it's burning.
I'm on fire.
Now, put a little water on it, would you, please? What happened to this guy? Can you hear me, Frank? We were doing a scene.
Did you hear me? A little water.
I'm the special effects guy in this movie and I had the whole cave rigged with charges and he starts acting in there while charges are going off.
Acting? Will you please get me out of here? My shoulder is burning.
I can't, pal.
The zipper's melted.
Zipper? Water.
Water on the shoulder.
It's burning me now.
Now, listen to what I'm saying, Doc.
Give me a little air up in the face mask.
Never mind the rest.
Scalpel.
It's not open heart surgery.
Not down there.
Up He was supposed to gallop through there on the double.
I had 3F powder all over, tied to six dishpans.
Yeah, listen, Lucille.
You tell wardrobe that they're cutting the clown right out of the suit right now.
You understand? Yeah.
Now we're gonna need it reconditioned, ready to work in the morning, okay? He's in there doing the death scene from Macbeth while I got canisters going off.
That's great.
Hey, hey.
Wait a second.
Hold it there.
Hold it, pal.
Hold it.
Hold it.
I'm the producer.
This is my property.
What kind of condition is it in? Is anyone interested in Juanito's condition? I'd recommend that this man stay here for observation, at least until tomorrow.
Yeah.
Right.
Okay, pal, now I want you to stay right here in the hospital, because I don't want no insurance beef here, okay? I'm sorry, Johnny.
But, you know, I told you to keep it moving.
I called you three times, Mr.
Rubinick, about the way the director's interpreting this role.
Well, yeah.
I've been on location, you know what I mean? Couple of other shots Certainly.
I have a statement here of indemnification and basically what it says is that you hold the producer innocent of any injuries incurred.
Come on over here, will you, Frankie? Certainly.
See, the way I see the background of the character, that the Id was conceived on an ice floe in Antarctica.
Ice floe? Ice floe in Antarctica? That's very good.
Okay, sign over here.
That's very good thinking.
And when he wakes up in Los Angeles Mmm-hmm.
in a chili cook-out, naturally, he's confused.
Well, confusion is very important for the conflict of the movie.
Exactly! Sign over here, please.
Exactly.
That is the central characteristic I'd like to play in this role, Mr.
Rubinick.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah.
Well, that's the important essential Confusion.
Confusion.
Very, very big.
Sign right here.
Well, it's a basic emotion.
I mean, it's like It's like love.
It's like hate.
Okay.
beat it, Frankie.
It's like jealousy.
Lust.
Oh, lust.
That's very good.
I like that.
Lust.
Very important.
Well, I'm history, pal.
I got fired.
If you hadn't been in there doing Camille, I'd still have a job.
You owe me one, Johnny.
Oh, I'm sorry, Frank.
I had such a good way to go.
Yeah.
Sorry, wrong room.
Oh, no, it's okay.
Frank's with the picture.
Face, B.
A.
, I'd like you to meet "Dishpan" Frankie Santana.
The best special effects man in Hollywood.
This the dude who blew you up, Hannibal? Who are you, the labor rep from the Jewelry Mart? I like him, he's got a reckless streak.
Sorry, Hannibal.
Would've been here sooner, but there's something wrong with my car.
Brakes or carbs? Those are your weak spots.
Now that you mention it, it's brakes.
You got a brake line comes out of the wheel mount, see.
It loops under the tie rods.
So, what you do, is you get this guy with the feather earring to pump it for you a couple of times while you get it wired up to the frame with number nine wire.
What you're getting is a little air bubble in the line, that's all.
Take you 10 seconds to fix it.
Oh, thanks.
The guy with the feathered earrings? Hey, oh, no offense, pal.
I mean, to each his own, right? But I couldn't help noticing you got a heap of gold there.
I mean, that's a lot for most people.
How are you cleaning this stuff? Oh, I bet you're using that nasty metal goop out there, right? Dip it in, wipe it off.
Probably takes you a couple of hours.
You wind up not getting it all off.
Gets all over those nice, clean fatigues, am I right? Yeah.
Well You ever tried a microwave? A microwave? A microwave.
Yeah.
Okay.
See, what you do is, you take your gold off, right? You dip it in cooking oil, stick it in the microwave, cook it for 15 minutes.
Then you take it out.
Now be careful, 'cause that oil is going to be real hot.
Okay? Then you wash it in cold water.
Doesn't have to be that cold.
Regular room temperature's fine.
Then you wipe it with a clean rag.
Well, guys, I'd love to stay and schmooze with you but I got to go hunt up a new job.
So, here's my business card.
I can ever be of any help to you guys, just give me a call.
I'll see you around.
Hey, and between you and me, your death scene was brilliant.
Even though I really couldn't see through the smoke and all, but I could tell.
I could feel it.
You were hot.
You were cooking.
Thanks, pal.
Oh, and I think that idea of yours about the Id leaving her eggs in her cave, that was like close to genius.
I mean, it was that close.
Oh, get this stuff cleaned, huh? Guy uses up a lot of oxygen.
But he's a great special effects man.
We temporarily disrupt this program for a special announcement.
We have just been notified that Air Madrid Flight 387 has been hijacked, and forced to land in Barcelona.
The terrorist apparently boarded in Seville and managed to elude metal detectors by using plastic explosives and weapons.
The plane is reportedly carrying six Americans.
The terrorists are demanding the release of 10 prisoners being held in a Spanish prison.
Updates as they occur.
This is Able Three to Mother on channel 119, switch to 114 scrambled.
Posse left.
The Big Bird is home alone.
Tell Able Four to move in.
Wake him.
You'll be dizzy for a few minutes, possibly a little nauseous, but there will be no long-lasting effects.
Where are we? On my private airplane.
I came out from Washington specifically for this meeting.
I had been briefed that you were involved with filmmaking.
I had several operatives working on various film sets.
When I needed you, I knew where to find you.
Feels like a spook operation.
Well, I'm not officially attached to anybody, but seems there's always something for me to do.
I work inside the system.
I keep my skirts clean.
I'm a dedicated American patriot.
You're also a little pompous.
Four hours ago, a Spanish airliner was taken by terrorists, currently on the ground on the runway in Barcelona.
Yeah.
I saw it on TV.
There is a man on that airplane that is very important to me and, I think, to you.
Apparently, your last mission in Vietnam was given to you by a Colonel Morrison.
You committed a crime, so you say, on his orders, but he died and could not confirm it.
My understanding is there was one other man in that office when the orders were given.
Captain Curtis.
But he died with Morrison when Headquarters was hit.
We think not.
We think Captain Curtis is the passenger in seat 4-G on that airliner in Barcelona.
Captain Josh Curtis, presumed dead, and currently stranded on Flight 387 in Barcelona.
I'll be damned.
Most probably.
The U.
S.
Government can't conduct covert operations in Spain.
However, the A-Team, being a fugitive group for that government, might get in there and get Captain Curtis off the plane.
If you fail, we won't even ask for your bodies back, but if you succeed, well, this man could clear you of all the charges against you.
What do you want with him? My customer wants him back.
So, the United States government, after chasing me since 1972 and finally catching me, is going to simply just turn me loose and send me into Spain with a pat on the back? To be totally honest with you, Colonel, you are what I consider a low-grade annoyance.
You and your A-Team kick up some embarrassing headlines, make some staff officers look woefully inept, but aside from that, you amount to nothing.
Say I get Captain Curtis for you, what then? Well, if he supports your claim that you were on a government mission when you robbed the bank in Hanoi, you and your men are free.
All charges are dropped.
Okay.
It's been fun.
Give me a number and I'll call you and let you know.
I want your answer now.
And if you say no, you will go with me back to Langley, Virginia, where you will be put on trial and most likely executed.
Well, I don't work alone.
And I can't speak for the others.
But you can try and influence them.
Now, all I need is your commitment.
Colonel, do it my way.
Okay.
For now.
I said they stay down.
Disobey me again and you will be the first to be sacrificed.
Fradeen, come here quick! Are you trying to get us killed? What difference does it make? If we're late for that arms shipment to LoBianca, we're dead anyway.
You will listen to me, all of you! If you attempt to do this one more time, I will kill all of them.
All the hostages! And I will start with her.
Trouble parking, Lieutenant? Hannibal was kidnapped.
Never mind that.
Did you see what happened? Did you see what that guy did to me? Who is this guy, Frankie Santana? Oh, we've got bigger problems, Face.
What's going on, Hannibal? Who is this guy who kidnapped you from the hospital? I don't know.
My instinct tells me he's a commander from the covert side.
He could sell us out and bury us, set us up, clear us.
It could go any way.
He says Captain Curtis is alive.
Curtis is alive? Mmm.
Wait a minute.
Then he could testify that we hit that bank in Hanoi under orders.
Yeah.
Then we'd be free to be normal people.
No offense, Murdock.
None taken.
I don't like this guy.
But I think it's the best chance we're gonna get.
How you know he ain't lying, Hannibal? Maybe Curtis is dead.
I saw a videotape of Curtis in the Barcelona airport.
He's older and grayer, but he looks like the same guy.
Now, not only is this gonna be a covert operation in a foreign country, we're gonna be working for a guy I wouldn't trust to take out the garbage.
So I wanna take a vote.
Face? Yeah.
Let's do it.
B.
A.
? Yeah.
Murdock? Let her rip.
Hannibal, just one question.
How are we gonna get onboard an airplane controlled by terrorists? Effects.
What's going on out here? These guys over by the plane, they got guns, submachine guns.
How you doing, bro? Oh, somebody overcooked the spaghetti.
It ain't spaghetti, fool, it's my gold.
I put it in the microwave with oil like you said, and now it's ruined.
Is this 18 karat or 14 karat? It's 18 karat, fool.
I don't buy nothing but the best.
You should have told me, bro.
See, your 18 karat is very soft metal.
You don't use a microwave with 18 karat.
You use a saucepan over very low fire.
Cooking oil, you cut it with water, then you let it simmer for about 10, 15 seconds tops.
Hey, sucker, who you take me for? Big, strong person.
B.
A.
Now leave Frankie alone.
He's our passport aboard that Spanish airliner.
He's our what? Yeah, well, he does talk a little bit too much, but he can make miracles with special effects, and that's the way I'm gonna get us on that plane.
B.
A.
, come with me.
Hey, I couldn't help noticing that jacket is beginning to dry out and crack.
You ever try tanning butter? Only on pancakes, and it tastes pretty yucky.
Huh? But it did turn my tongue a nice shade of brown.
Who is he? Well, when we get on a plane, you can sit next to him.
And if you figure him out, let us know.
Plane? Plane.
Plane.
But you guys don't That was good.
That was unique.
Maybe later you can explain it to me.
These guys are kind of brittle.
The good-looking one Me? The good-looking one.
My bet is he used bailing wire instead of number nine on the brake cable.
See, it'll crimp it, cuts off the hydraulic fluid.
Yeah, that might be a good bet.
Because Faceman, he's about as mechanically inclined as a cage full of hamsters.
I, on the other hand, I only use bailing wire to bail out boats full of water and that's only when there is no bailing bucket available.
The smoking light was lit.
Are you okay? That has never satisfactorily been determined.
The following update on Operation Lame Eagle includes satellite surveillance, metered orbit geosynchronous 0900 hours.
Approximate airliner position, 10 meters from the end of the runway.
Prevailing winds, constant east-southeast at 10 knots.
Fuel, ratios diminishing as starboard engines have been running to power the air conditioning.
Terrorist complement is updated, current estimate is 10 men.
Pilots have been unable to contact tower at regular intervals.
Spanish guards have taken up secondary positions on tarmac.
Welcome to Empress Flight One.
You will be updated by these briefings as they occur.
Now, this is a two-way communication system.
I can see you as well as hear you.
And I'm delighted to have the famous A-Team involved in this mission.
The A-Team? My name is General Hunt Stockwell, which is a matter of little importance.
However, I feel that you should be informed of whom you're working for.
Two things.
We're working for ourselves and generals don't usually wear Brooks Brothers suits on duty.
Adequate observations.
I am a retired general, and you will find a scrambler communication unit in that drawer next to your right arm, Colonel.
It will allow you to keep in touch with me at all times.
It is monitored on channel 117.
I already found it.
Your call letters will be Empress 7 through 12.
And again allow me to say how delighted I am to have you engaged in this operation.
Once you have achieved the objective, please notify me, and we will have immediate pick-ups made available.
What do you want with Captain Curtis? You said you had your reasons.
They will remain mine.
A real confidence builder.
Mmm.
Here, stick this in your Knapsack.
Right.
Get B.
A.
ready.
Okay, out.
Wait.
Did you pull his cord? No.
Oh! I don't like to fly.
And I don't like being pushed out of no airplane.
All right, Sergeant, this is a field operation.
Come on, let's get these chutes buried.
Here you go, I'll take them.
There's a dry riverbed back there.
That's it, just lay it right there.
Okay, the airfield should be over there.
Come on, B.
A.
, we'll handle recon.
You know, I think that big, angry guy is getting worse.
Yeah? Terrific.
Yeah.
Empress 12 to Mother.
Switch to Yeah.
Anybody there? Welcome to my world, Mr.
Santana.
I'm on the ground.
They're getting ready to make their strike.
Good.
Have you planted the communication devices? You get a bite? No.
Maybe you ought to try whistling that tune you used at Crystal Lake.
No.
No.
Why not? I can't get my lips to stay together.
Huh.
So, that airliner is on that field, about a quarter mile over there, huh? Yep.
And you guys really are the A-Team? Nauseating, isn't it? It's just hard to believe the monster masher, the Id, the old aquamaniac, is really the head of the famous A-Team.
That's gonna be tough.
Our only chance will be at night.
You really think you can pull this off, Hannibal? Faith, Sergeant.
Have faith.
Uh-oh.
Let's go.
Move.
Come on.
Out.
Quickly.
That's bad.
Let's go.
Okay, guys, we got to move.
They're splitting up the hostages.
I was afraid they might try something like this.
Now we can't make a move on the plane until we rescue those people.
Right.
We'll need the weapons.
Lieutenant, get us a vehicle.
What? Wait a minute, where am I gonna find a vehicle? Go, Lieutenant.
Here.
Meet us on the road.
We'll try and keep in sight.
Right.
Colonel, I can track them from the air.
From the air? Man's crazy.
Follow me.
Lately, I've been packing a helicopter with my underwear.
A helicopter? Where you get this thing from? Put it together at the pipe shop, V.
A.
Frankie, you can stay with the stuff if you want.
Are you kidding? Fradeen, we're being followed.
Hi.
Welcome to Spain.
I'm with the Chamber of Commerce.
I got brochures, pamphlets, soap, and before you shot it out of my hand, a yummy basket of fruit! You guys You guys couldn't have known, but you picked the wrong man to terrorize.
I mean, I'm filled with such indecision, such a downright honest confusion, you're never gonna get through that wall of white noise in my head.
I mean, in the words of one of America's great poets You load 16 tons and what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt Saint Peter, don't you call me 'cause I can't go I owe my soul To the company store I was born one morning when the sun didn't shine I think what the old pea-picker was trying to say was no matter how much you're paying now, unless you're getting enough back in goods and services, you're gonna end up in debt.
Do you understand what I'm saying to you? Kill him.
He's a fool.
Oh, yeah, kill the fool, kill the fool.
You know that there are places in this world where fools are worshipped, like Hollywood, California.
All right, get it down, get it down.
Where were you guys? I was running out of inanities.
That will never happen.
Face, come on.
B.
A.
, get them tied up.
Got to get these people untied.
Give them a breather and put them back in the van.
All right.
Everybody out.
Everybody's okay.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Here you go, here you go.
Excuse me, señor, I'm the co-pilot.
How do I thank you? You have saved our lives.
Hannibal, what do you want me to do with these guys over there? Load them in the truck.
How many terrorists are left on the plane? Four.
All with automatic weapons.
They split us up because the passengers were becoming restless.
They thought by separating the loved ones or friends, they could keep everyone in line.
Something strange, Hannibal.
What's that? These guys don't have no walkie-talkies.
They have no way to keep in contact with the guys in the plane.
You better look again.
They wouldn't send them off without radios.
I looked, Hannibal.
They ain't got nothing.
If they don't have walkie-talkies, then they can't expect them to come back.
They were gonna kill these hostages, and then escape.
Yeah, that means the plane could take off anytime.
Okay, let's go.
Face, you drive.
Señor, we appreciate what you have done, but there's no way you can take that plane.
They have automatic weapons.
People onboard will be killed.
The trick is to get Captain Murdock aboard that plane.
We got to convince them the plane can't take off in a heavy fog without a co-pilot.
But, my friend, we never get fog here.
Never.
The air is too warm.
Not tonight.
Tonight, you're gonna have a cold front move in.
Tonight, there's gonna be a heavy bank of fog around here.
Right, Frankie? I'm gonna fog that sucker in so they can't see 20 feet.
Colonel, they say to move the vehicles.
They've decided to move the airplane to Gava.
They want the aircraft refueled immediately.
Well, you wanna take a chance with me or you wanna go your own way? Are you sure you can do this? I think we can get onboard that plane in 20 seconds.
If we do it right, it'll be the one time they couldn't expect it.
Okay, it is done.
Radio the plane.
Tell them the fuel truck will be out on the field in 15 minutes.
Vamos.
Tower to Air Madrid.
The petrol truck will be here in 15 minutes.
No, no, no.
I think they're gonna pull it off.
There's a colonel down here, a Colonel Morales, and he seems to be going Hannibal's way.
Good, boy, you're doing just fine.
And you're gonna keep your promise, right? I ought to bury you right here, compadre.
You got a lot of explaining to do and no time to do it in.
I figure you'll be on the jet in an hour.
You know, we got to be out of here by tomorrow morning.
Where's the other one, Frank? Murdock's jacket.
Behind the collar.
What? No.
Oh, man! Over.
Out.
Why did you do it? Look, Hannibal, I had to.
My father's in a nursing home.
The government stopped his pension checks.
Stockwell said if I didn't work for him, the checks would just be lost forever.
I had to do this for my father.
I should've known Stockwell would take out insurance.
Now we need him, but nobody take their eyes off him.
Yeah.
Leave him to me.
Okay, let's get this thing moving.
The petrol truck is not here.
Here it comes.
The wind seems to be real light tonight.
We start from the back and move towards the front.
You better not mess up, man, or I'm gonna press you flat.
I'm sorry.
Really.
What is going on? What is this? Looks like fog rolling in.
Fog? Here? How could this be? I don't know.
A cold front of some kind.
What is it? What is happening? It is very How do you say? Not very unusual We are having, from time to time, fog.
I want to leave immediately! Not without the co-pilot to watch the equipment because we are zero-zero, hombre.
It is true.
I need someone to monitor for me the transponder and power systems.
I can't see the runway anymore.
Tell him to send out the co-pilot.
Tell him we want no more fuel.
We are leaving immediately.
Now! He says no more fuel.
We are leaving.
Send the co-pilot.
Okey-dokey.
Hannibal, I'm on my way.
Nasty bit of weather outside.
Isn't it? Yes.
All right, let's get this baby up.
How? I can't see anything.
Right.
Right.
Tower? Tower? I think we need the field fog lights, please.
Here goes.
Field fog lights, please.
Okay, let's go.
Let's go now.
All right.
Let's get moving.
All right, tower, we are beginning our jump.
I know this is a bit unusual, but it is the new RAF fog regs.
That's good.
Good power setting.
You.
You better get your men buckled up.
Buckle up.
V1, rotate.
Well, you better get buckled up.
I'm almost at full power.
Now, B.
A.
Mmm-hmm.
What is this? What's going on out here? Don't move, or I'll kill him.
Let me out! Let me out! I remember you guys.
You're the A-Team.
Boy, is that music to our ears.
I'll take these men with me.
We have a very nice jail for them.
I'm glad it worked out.
You know, my friends and I are gonna go over to the lounge for a drink.
We thought maybe you'd care to join us.
No, thanks.
I got some other plans.
I got some phone calls to make, that kind of stuff, you know.
The man asked you to join us.
Yeah.
Well Yeah, why not? Sure.
The least I can do for an old Army buddy.
Good show.
Actually, fellas, I really shouldn't be You know, I got The man said, "Come on.
" Friend of yours? No, no, he was just sitting next to me on the plane.
Hey, we got to move.
Stockwell could be here any minute.
Right.
You guys working for Hunt Stockwell? That depends how cooperative you're gonna be, pal.
Get in.
Now, look, fellas, I can clear you.
Look, I was in the HQ when Morrison gave you that order.
It's just that Stockwell is a man I'd just as soon stay away from.
You know, Colonel, I like this place 'cause all the chickens have their own room.
But they won't let me in to get the eggs and I'm hungry.
I think I should go rustle us up some grub.
Hmm.
Good idea, Captain.
Go get it.
Now, the best way to handle this is to keep Stockwell out of it.
We let him in and the roof could fall on us.
Look, I promise, I'll clear you guys.
We'll go the provost marshal here in Spain.
They'll have one at the embassy.
I'll make a statement, you'll witness it, and we'll have it notarized.
Uh-uh.
There's got to be a hearing.
This is a very old case.
Look, I'll cooperate.
I just don't want Stockwell to know where I am.
I I think he may want to kill me.
Josh, how is the gun-running business? Make any big sales lately? Hello, Hunt.
I was waiting for your call.
Did you lose your little communicator? I knew I forgot something.
Well, I hope Mr.
Curtis sees fit to testify on your behalf.
I don't think so, General.
These gentlemen just brought me here to kill me.
Really? Why would they want to do that? Because I saw them kill Colonel Morrison.
I saw them shoot him 40 minutes before the HQ was shelled.
I was hiding in the back.
Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to break my promise, Colonel.
You wouldn't want me harboring murderers, would you?
The profile is coming up on the computer.
Able Six reports he can drop on him any time.
No.
Tell Able Six to wait.
I want to do it my way.
Now, Frank, the smoke you see indicates that it's burning.
I'm on fire.
Now, put a little water on it, would you, please? What happened to this guy? Can you hear me, Frank? We were doing a scene.
Did you hear me? A little water.
I'm the special effects guy in this movie and I had the whole cave rigged with charges and he starts acting in there while charges are going off.
Acting? Will you please get me out of here? My shoulder is burning.
I can't, pal.
The zipper's melted.
Zipper? Water.
Water on the shoulder.
It's burning me now.
Now, listen to what I'm saying, Doc.
Give me a little air up in the face mask.
Never mind the rest.
Scalpel.
It's not open heart surgery.
Not down there.
Up He was supposed to gallop through there on the double.
I had 3F powder all over, tied to six dishpans.
Yeah, listen, Lucille.
You tell wardrobe that they're cutting the clown right out of the suit right now.
You understand? Yeah.
Now we're gonna need it reconditioned, ready to work in the morning, okay? He's in there doing the death scene from Macbeth while I got canisters going off.
That's great.
Hey, hey.
Wait a second.
Hold it there.
Hold it, pal.
Hold it.
Hold it.
I'm the producer.
This is my property.
What kind of condition is it in? Is anyone interested in Juanito's condition? I'd recommend that this man stay here for observation, at least until tomorrow.
Yeah.
Right.
Okay, pal, now I want you to stay right here in the hospital, because I don't want no insurance beef here, okay? I'm sorry, Johnny.
But, you know, I told you to keep it moving.
I called you three times, Mr.
Rubinick, about the way the director's interpreting this role.
Well, yeah.
I've been on location, you know what I mean? Couple of other shots Certainly.
I have a statement here of indemnification and basically what it says is that you hold the producer innocent of any injuries incurred.
Come on over here, will you, Frankie? Certainly.
See, the way I see the background of the character, that the Id was conceived on an ice floe in Antarctica.
Ice floe? Ice floe in Antarctica? That's very good.
Okay, sign over here.
That's very good thinking.
And when he wakes up in Los Angeles Mmm-hmm.
in a chili cook-out, naturally, he's confused.
Well, confusion is very important for the conflict of the movie.
Exactly! Sign over here, please.
Exactly.
That is the central characteristic I'd like to play in this role, Mr.
Rubinick.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah.
Well, that's the important essential Confusion.
Confusion.
Very, very big.
Sign right here.
Well, it's a basic emotion.
I mean, it's like It's like love.
It's like hate.
Okay.
beat it, Frankie.
It's like jealousy.
Lust.
Oh, lust.
That's very good.
I like that.
Lust.
Very important.
Well, I'm history, pal.
I got fired.
If you hadn't been in there doing Camille, I'd still have a job.
You owe me one, Johnny.
Oh, I'm sorry, Frank.
I had such a good way to go.
Yeah.
Sorry, wrong room.
Oh, no, it's okay.
Frank's with the picture.
Face, B.
A.
, I'd like you to meet "Dishpan" Frankie Santana.
The best special effects man in Hollywood.
This the dude who blew you up, Hannibal? Who are you, the labor rep from the Jewelry Mart? I like him, he's got a reckless streak.
Sorry, Hannibal.
Would've been here sooner, but there's something wrong with my car.
Brakes or carbs? Those are your weak spots.
Now that you mention it, it's brakes.
You got a brake line comes out of the wheel mount, see.
It loops under the tie rods.
So, what you do, is you get this guy with the feather earring to pump it for you a couple of times while you get it wired up to the frame with number nine wire.
What you're getting is a little air bubble in the line, that's all.
Take you 10 seconds to fix it.
Oh, thanks.
The guy with the feathered earrings? Hey, oh, no offense, pal.
I mean, to each his own, right? But I couldn't help noticing you got a heap of gold there.
I mean, that's a lot for most people.
How are you cleaning this stuff? Oh, I bet you're using that nasty metal goop out there, right? Dip it in, wipe it off.
Probably takes you a couple of hours.
You wind up not getting it all off.
Gets all over those nice, clean fatigues, am I right? Yeah.
Well You ever tried a microwave? A microwave? A microwave.
Yeah.
Okay.
See, what you do is, you take your gold off, right? You dip it in cooking oil, stick it in the microwave, cook it for 15 minutes.
Then you take it out.
Now be careful, 'cause that oil is going to be real hot.
Okay? Then you wash it in cold water.
Doesn't have to be that cold.
Regular room temperature's fine.
Then you wipe it with a clean rag.
Well, guys, I'd love to stay and schmooze with you but I got to go hunt up a new job.
So, here's my business card.
I can ever be of any help to you guys, just give me a call.
I'll see you around.
Hey, and between you and me, your death scene was brilliant.
Even though I really couldn't see through the smoke and all, but I could tell.
I could feel it.
You were hot.
You were cooking.
Thanks, pal.
Oh, and I think that idea of yours about the Id leaving her eggs in her cave, that was like close to genius.
I mean, it was that close.
Oh, get this stuff cleaned, huh? Guy uses up a lot of oxygen.
But he's a great special effects man.
We temporarily disrupt this program for a special announcement.
We have just been notified that Air Madrid Flight 387 has been hijacked, and forced to land in Barcelona.
The terrorist apparently boarded in Seville and managed to elude metal detectors by using plastic explosives and weapons.
The plane is reportedly carrying six Americans.
The terrorists are demanding the release of 10 prisoners being held in a Spanish prison.
Updates as they occur.
This is Able Three to Mother on channel 119, switch to 114 scrambled.
Posse left.
The Big Bird is home alone.
Tell Able Four to move in.
Wake him.
You'll be dizzy for a few minutes, possibly a little nauseous, but there will be no long-lasting effects.
Where are we? On my private airplane.
I came out from Washington specifically for this meeting.
I had been briefed that you were involved with filmmaking.
I had several operatives working on various film sets.
When I needed you, I knew where to find you.
Feels like a spook operation.
Well, I'm not officially attached to anybody, but seems there's always something for me to do.
I work inside the system.
I keep my skirts clean.
I'm a dedicated American patriot.
You're also a little pompous.
Four hours ago, a Spanish airliner was taken by terrorists, currently on the ground on the runway in Barcelona.
Yeah.
I saw it on TV.
There is a man on that airplane that is very important to me and, I think, to you.
Apparently, your last mission in Vietnam was given to you by a Colonel Morrison.
You committed a crime, so you say, on his orders, but he died and could not confirm it.
My understanding is there was one other man in that office when the orders were given.
Captain Curtis.
But he died with Morrison when Headquarters was hit.
We think not.
We think Captain Curtis is the passenger in seat 4-G on that airliner in Barcelona.
Captain Josh Curtis, presumed dead, and currently stranded on Flight 387 in Barcelona.
I'll be damned.
Most probably.
The U.
S.
Government can't conduct covert operations in Spain.
However, the A-Team, being a fugitive group for that government, might get in there and get Captain Curtis off the plane.
If you fail, we won't even ask for your bodies back, but if you succeed, well, this man could clear you of all the charges against you.
What do you want with him? My customer wants him back.
So, the United States government, after chasing me since 1972 and finally catching me, is going to simply just turn me loose and send me into Spain with a pat on the back? To be totally honest with you, Colonel, you are what I consider a low-grade annoyance.
You and your A-Team kick up some embarrassing headlines, make some staff officers look woefully inept, but aside from that, you amount to nothing.
Say I get Captain Curtis for you, what then? Well, if he supports your claim that you were on a government mission when you robbed the bank in Hanoi, you and your men are free.
All charges are dropped.
Okay.
It's been fun.
Give me a number and I'll call you and let you know.
I want your answer now.
And if you say no, you will go with me back to Langley, Virginia, where you will be put on trial and most likely executed.
Well, I don't work alone.
And I can't speak for the others.
But you can try and influence them.
Now, all I need is your commitment.
Colonel, do it my way.
Okay.
For now.
I said they stay down.
Disobey me again and you will be the first to be sacrificed.
Fradeen, come here quick! Are you trying to get us killed? What difference does it make? If we're late for that arms shipment to LoBianca, we're dead anyway.
You will listen to me, all of you! If you attempt to do this one more time, I will kill all of them.
All the hostages! And I will start with her.
Trouble parking, Lieutenant? Hannibal was kidnapped.
Never mind that.
Did you see what happened? Did you see what that guy did to me? Who is this guy, Frankie Santana? Oh, we've got bigger problems, Face.
What's going on, Hannibal? Who is this guy who kidnapped you from the hospital? I don't know.
My instinct tells me he's a commander from the covert side.
He could sell us out and bury us, set us up, clear us.
It could go any way.
He says Captain Curtis is alive.
Curtis is alive? Mmm.
Wait a minute.
Then he could testify that we hit that bank in Hanoi under orders.
Yeah.
Then we'd be free to be normal people.
No offense, Murdock.
None taken.
I don't like this guy.
But I think it's the best chance we're gonna get.
How you know he ain't lying, Hannibal? Maybe Curtis is dead.
I saw a videotape of Curtis in the Barcelona airport.
He's older and grayer, but he looks like the same guy.
Now, not only is this gonna be a covert operation in a foreign country, we're gonna be working for a guy I wouldn't trust to take out the garbage.
So I wanna take a vote.
Face? Yeah.
Let's do it.
B.
A.
? Yeah.
Murdock? Let her rip.
Hannibal, just one question.
How are we gonna get onboard an airplane controlled by terrorists? Effects.
What's going on out here? These guys over by the plane, they got guns, submachine guns.
How you doing, bro? Oh, somebody overcooked the spaghetti.
It ain't spaghetti, fool, it's my gold.
I put it in the microwave with oil like you said, and now it's ruined.
Is this 18 karat or 14 karat? It's 18 karat, fool.
I don't buy nothing but the best.
You should have told me, bro.
See, your 18 karat is very soft metal.
You don't use a microwave with 18 karat.
You use a saucepan over very low fire.
Cooking oil, you cut it with water, then you let it simmer for about 10, 15 seconds tops.
Hey, sucker, who you take me for? Big, strong person.
B.
A.
Now leave Frankie alone.
He's our passport aboard that Spanish airliner.
He's our what? Yeah, well, he does talk a little bit too much, but he can make miracles with special effects, and that's the way I'm gonna get us on that plane.
B.
A.
, come with me.
Hey, I couldn't help noticing that jacket is beginning to dry out and crack.
You ever try tanning butter? Only on pancakes, and it tastes pretty yucky.
Huh? But it did turn my tongue a nice shade of brown.
Who is he? Well, when we get on a plane, you can sit next to him.
And if you figure him out, let us know.
Plane? Plane.
Plane.
But you guys don't That was good.
That was unique.
Maybe later you can explain it to me.
These guys are kind of brittle.
The good-looking one Me? The good-looking one.
My bet is he used bailing wire instead of number nine on the brake cable.
See, it'll crimp it, cuts off the hydraulic fluid.
Yeah, that might be a good bet.
Because Faceman, he's about as mechanically inclined as a cage full of hamsters.
I, on the other hand, I only use bailing wire to bail out boats full of water and that's only when there is no bailing bucket available.
The smoking light was lit.
Are you okay? That has never satisfactorily been determined.
The following update on Operation Lame Eagle includes satellite surveillance, metered orbit geosynchronous 0900 hours.
Approximate airliner position, 10 meters from the end of the runway.
Prevailing winds, constant east-southeast at 10 knots.
Fuel, ratios diminishing as starboard engines have been running to power the air conditioning.
Terrorist complement is updated, current estimate is 10 men.
Pilots have been unable to contact tower at regular intervals.
Spanish guards have taken up secondary positions on tarmac.
Welcome to Empress Flight One.
You will be updated by these briefings as they occur.
Now, this is a two-way communication system.
I can see you as well as hear you.
And I'm delighted to have the famous A-Team involved in this mission.
The A-Team? My name is General Hunt Stockwell, which is a matter of little importance.
However, I feel that you should be informed of whom you're working for.
Two things.
We're working for ourselves and generals don't usually wear Brooks Brothers suits on duty.
Adequate observations.
I am a retired general, and you will find a scrambler communication unit in that drawer next to your right arm, Colonel.
It will allow you to keep in touch with me at all times.
It is monitored on channel 117.
I already found it.
Your call letters will be Empress 7 through 12.
And again allow me to say how delighted I am to have you engaged in this operation.
Once you have achieved the objective, please notify me, and we will have immediate pick-ups made available.
What do you want with Captain Curtis? You said you had your reasons.
They will remain mine.
A real confidence builder.
Mmm.
Here, stick this in your Knapsack.
Right.
Get B.
A.
ready.
Okay, out.
Wait.
Did you pull his cord? No.
Oh! I don't like to fly.
And I don't like being pushed out of no airplane.
All right, Sergeant, this is a field operation.
Come on, let's get these chutes buried.
Here you go, I'll take them.
There's a dry riverbed back there.
That's it, just lay it right there.
Okay, the airfield should be over there.
Come on, B.
A.
, we'll handle recon.
You know, I think that big, angry guy is getting worse.
Yeah? Terrific.
Yeah.
Empress 12 to Mother.
Switch to Yeah.
Anybody there? Welcome to my world, Mr.
Santana.
I'm on the ground.
They're getting ready to make their strike.
Good.
Have you planted the communication devices? You get a bite? No.
Maybe you ought to try whistling that tune you used at Crystal Lake.
No.
No.
Why not? I can't get my lips to stay together.
Huh.
So, that airliner is on that field, about a quarter mile over there, huh? Yep.
And you guys really are the A-Team? Nauseating, isn't it? It's just hard to believe the monster masher, the Id, the old aquamaniac, is really the head of the famous A-Team.
That's gonna be tough.
Our only chance will be at night.
You really think you can pull this off, Hannibal? Faith, Sergeant.
Have faith.
Uh-oh.
Let's go.
Move.
Come on.
Out.
Quickly.
That's bad.
Let's go.
Okay, guys, we got to move.
They're splitting up the hostages.
I was afraid they might try something like this.
Now we can't make a move on the plane until we rescue those people.
Right.
We'll need the weapons.
Lieutenant, get us a vehicle.
What? Wait a minute, where am I gonna find a vehicle? Go, Lieutenant.
Here.
Meet us on the road.
We'll try and keep in sight.
Right.
Colonel, I can track them from the air.
From the air? Man's crazy.
Follow me.
Lately, I've been packing a helicopter with my underwear.
A helicopter? Where you get this thing from? Put it together at the pipe shop, V.
A.
Frankie, you can stay with the stuff if you want.
Are you kidding? Fradeen, we're being followed.
Hi.
Welcome to Spain.
I'm with the Chamber of Commerce.
I got brochures, pamphlets, soap, and before you shot it out of my hand, a yummy basket of fruit! You guys You guys couldn't have known, but you picked the wrong man to terrorize.
I mean, I'm filled with such indecision, such a downright honest confusion, you're never gonna get through that wall of white noise in my head.
I mean, in the words of one of America's great poets You load 16 tons and what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt Saint Peter, don't you call me 'cause I can't go I owe my soul To the company store I was born one morning when the sun didn't shine I think what the old pea-picker was trying to say was no matter how much you're paying now, unless you're getting enough back in goods and services, you're gonna end up in debt.
Do you understand what I'm saying to you? Kill him.
He's a fool.
Oh, yeah, kill the fool, kill the fool.
You know that there are places in this world where fools are worshipped, like Hollywood, California.
All right, get it down, get it down.
Where were you guys? I was running out of inanities.
That will never happen.
Face, come on.
B.
A.
, get them tied up.
Got to get these people untied.
Give them a breather and put them back in the van.
All right.
Everybody out.
Everybody's okay.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Here you go, here you go.
Excuse me, señor, I'm the co-pilot.
How do I thank you? You have saved our lives.
Hannibal, what do you want me to do with these guys over there? Load them in the truck.
How many terrorists are left on the plane? Four.
All with automatic weapons.
They split us up because the passengers were becoming restless.
They thought by separating the loved ones or friends, they could keep everyone in line.
Something strange, Hannibal.
What's that? These guys don't have no walkie-talkies.
They have no way to keep in contact with the guys in the plane.
You better look again.
They wouldn't send them off without radios.
I looked, Hannibal.
They ain't got nothing.
If they don't have walkie-talkies, then they can't expect them to come back.
They were gonna kill these hostages, and then escape.
Yeah, that means the plane could take off anytime.
Okay, let's go.
Face, you drive.
Señor, we appreciate what you have done, but there's no way you can take that plane.
They have automatic weapons.
People onboard will be killed.
The trick is to get Captain Murdock aboard that plane.
We got to convince them the plane can't take off in a heavy fog without a co-pilot.
But, my friend, we never get fog here.
Never.
The air is too warm.
Not tonight.
Tonight, you're gonna have a cold front move in.
Tonight, there's gonna be a heavy bank of fog around here.
Right, Frankie? I'm gonna fog that sucker in so they can't see 20 feet.
Colonel, they say to move the vehicles.
They've decided to move the airplane to Gava.
They want the aircraft refueled immediately.
Well, you wanna take a chance with me or you wanna go your own way? Are you sure you can do this? I think we can get onboard that plane in 20 seconds.
If we do it right, it'll be the one time they couldn't expect it.
Okay, it is done.
Radio the plane.
Tell them the fuel truck will be out on the field in 15 minutes.
Vamos.
Tower to Air Madrid.
The petrol truck will be here in 15 minutes.
No, no, no.
I think they're gonna pull it off.
There's a colonel down here, a Colonel Morales, and he seems to be going Hannibal's way.
Good, boy, you're doing just fine.
And you're gonna keep your promise, right? I ought to bury you right here, compadre.
You got a lot of explaining to do and no time to do it in.
I figure you'll be on the jet in an hour.
You know, we got to be out of here by tomorrow morning.
Where's the other one, Frank? Murdock's jacket.
Behind the collar.
What? No.
Oh, man! Over.
Out.
Why did you do it? Look, Hannibal, I had to.
My father's in a nursing home.
The government stopped his pension checks.
Stockwell said if I didn't work for him, the checks would just be lost forever.
I had to do this for my father.
I should've known Stockwell would take out insurance.
Now we need him, but nobody take their eyes off him.
Yeah.
Leave him to me.
Okay, let's get this thing moving.
The petrol truck is not here.
Here it comes.
The wind seems to be real light tonight.
We start from the back and move towards the front.
You better not mess up, man, or I'm gonna press you flat.
I'm sorry.
Really.
What is going on? What is this? Looks like fog rolling in.
Fog? Here? How could this be? I don't know.
A cold front of some kind.
What is it? What is happening? It is very How do you say? Not very unusual We are having, from time to time, fog.
I want to leave immediately! Not without the co-pilot to watch the equipment because we are zero-zero, hombre.
It is true.
I need someone to monitor for me the transponder and power systems.
I can't see the runway anymore.
Tell him to send out the co-pilot.
Tell him we want no more fuel.
We are leaving immediately.
Now! He says no more fuel.
We are leaving.
Send the co-pilot.
Okey-dokey.
Hannibal, I'm on my way.
Nasty bit of weather outside.
Isn't it? Yes.
All right, let's get this baby up.
How? I can't see anything.
Right.
Right.
Tower? Tower? I think we need the field fog lights, please.
Here goes.
Field fog lights, please.
Okay, let's go.
Let's go now.
All right.
Let's get moving.
All right, tower, we are beginning our jump.
I know this is a bit unusual, but it is the new RAF fog regs.
That's good.
Good power setting.
You.
You better get your men buckled up.
Buckle up.
V1, rotate.
Well, you better get buckled up.
I'm almost at full power.
Now, B.
A.
Mmm-hmm.
What is this? What's going on out here? Don't move, or I'll kill him.
Let me out! Let me out! I remember you guys.
You're the A-Team.
Boy, is that music to our ears.
I'll take these men with me.
We have a very nice jail for them.
I'm glad it worked out.
You know, my friends and I are gonna go over to the lounge for a drink.
We thought maybe you'd care to join us.
No, thanks.
I got some other plans.
I got some phone calls to make, that kind of stuff, you know.
The man asked you to join us.
Yeah.
Well Yeah, why not? Sure.
The least I can do for an old Army buddy.
Good show.
Actually, fellas, I really shouldn't be You know, I got The man said, "Come on.
" Friend of yours? No, no, he was just sitting next to me on the plane.
Hey, we got to move.
Stockwell could be here any minute.
Right.
You guys working for Hunt Stockwell? That depends how cooperative you're gonna be, pal.
Get in.
Now, look, fellas, I can clear you.
Look, I was in the HQ when Morrison gave you that order.
It's just that Stockwell is a man I'd just as soon stay away from.
You know, Colonel, I like this place 'cause all the chickens have their own room.
But they won't let me in to get the eggs and I'm hungry.
I think I should go rustle us up some grub.
Hmm.
Good idea, Captain.
Go get it.
Now, the best way to handle this is to keep Stockwell out of it.
We let him in and the roof could fall on us.
Look, I promise, I'll clear you guys.
We'll go the provost marshal here in Spain.
They'll have one at the embassy.
I'll make a statement, you'll witness it, and we'll have it notarized.
Uh-uh.
There's got to be a hearing.
This is a very old case.
Look, I'll cooperate.
I just don't want Stockwell to know where I am.
I I think he may want to kill me.
Josh, how is the gun-running business? Make any big sales lately? Hello, Hunt.
I was waiting for your call.
Did you lose your little communicator? I knew I forgot something.
Well, I hope Mr.
Curtis sees fit to testify on your behalf.
I don't think so, General.
These gentlemen just brought me here to kill me.
Really? Why would they want to do that? Because I saw them kill Colonel Morrison.
I saw them shoot him 40 minutes before the HQ was shelled.
I was hiding in the back.
Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to break my promise, Colonel.
You wouldn't want me harboring murderers, would you?