The Guild (2007) s05e01 Episode Script
Road Trip
Almost finished packing.
I don't wanna brag, but I'm really good at it.
When I was twelve I rolled the score over on an arcade tetris machine.
So Anyway We're leaving tomorrow for the gaming convention.
The guild is carpooling in Vork's creepy van.
So as long as there's not an Amber Alert out we should arrive tomorrow, ready for a weekend of I'm not really sure.
I've never been to a "nerdstravaganza" before but getting offline and out of my element will be awesome.
Give me some space to work out my chaotically aligned feelings about Zaboo.
Am I into him? Do I wanna do the nasty with him? Idea isn't repulsing me.
but whatever Road Trip! I spy with my little eye Oh, a family of six, flipping us off.
Tink, that looks like a very fun game but if you turned lower this a bit so I can see this area better.
Back off! God, why did I agree to go to this trip? Vork! Do something! Bladezz, stop doing whatever you should doing to Tink.
Hey, it's that family again, still - still giving us the bird.
I'll have your licence, fiend.
Dude! How am I driving? Hello? Are we there yet? Clara, don't make me pull this guild over.
Are you watching that video, I made you? Oh my god, you made High School Musical? No, I recorded your kids saying goodbye to us.
It was super cute.
They noticed? Now they're gonna tell Wiggly I left! Fagenghast! I spy with my zombie eye My fist coming to your face, if you not gonna shut the f up.
C'mon, Tink, everybody loves a car game.
Ok Punch buggy'd.
Good one.
Come on, you guys We gonna have so much fun at this convention.
I mean we gonna play the game, get to know each other better, right Zaboo? Yeah! Midnight Munchkin Madness! Alliterated.
Screw that! Let me out! Psychological studies show that rats housed in uncomfortably close proximity become overly aggressive and gnaw each other to death.
We may be close.
Codex? What the hell is this? Oh it's nothing, really.
What are you guys talking about.
I wanna be involved in anything you are talking about.
Conference in the south wing.
Now! That'd better be a suicide note.
I wish just I don't know.
What do you think about it, him and me? You've come from hot stunt guy to kilted guild leader to Zaboo? Your relationship patching system is seriously going in the wrong direction.
He is not a downgrade, I mean, look at him! What.
.
What's wrong with him? Oo, oo, ooo! The licence plate game! The winner gets a lesson from me in Fortran.
Oh, and it's gonna smell like smell like burrito So.
Maybe I just want someone who is nice to me for a change.
And warlock priest combo is killer, right? Middleearth to Codex.
That's not real life.
But maybe it can be.
Does it hurt to try? Yes.
But you knew the convention was happening sometime this yearish.
Why are you acting so surprised? You can't mess with Kevinator.
The dude hooked us all up with rooms and tickets.
I'm a special guest, remember, with air quotes.
That little bastard deprived me of my hard-earned, capitalist-funded Guild Hall! I intend to report him to the heads of the game, personally! Before this car stops, I wanna play a license plate game! Oh boy Polo shirt-clad woman! We're here for the festivities.
Please let us out! Welcome to the Mega-Gama-Rama-Con! We're only taking registration tonight.
The convention opens tomorrow, but - Excuse me Vork, tell her you are chauffeuring a special guest.
I think she got that.
Oh wow, a special guest! Are you kidding? Follow me.
Yep, already loving this.
I am officially authorizing the use of this parking - We are so - honored to have you attend our convention.
Ehm, excuse me Hi, I'm a special guest, what kind of VIP treatment is this? Oh my god.
Sorry, did I just insult you? Oh, heyheyhey, no, calm down, it's ok! You can't know everyone, right? Oh! Excuse me! I'm not just everyone, I'm the Cheesy Pirate Kid! I'm a meme! I'm sorry I'm sure lots of people are really excited you are attending.
I mean not that I'm not.
Oa, wow, I love we found someone more neurotic than you, Codex.
Uh, yeah, I told you this'll be a great weekend.
Wow, are you having spasms or something, 'cause your face is twitching.
Ok, look.
We have rooms and badges under the name Finn Smulders, ok? I don't want stalkers, showing up to my door, offering me their bodies, unless they are Double-D certified, got it? I have you here for six badges but as for rooms, we don't provide those to guests.
What? Ok, Kevinator told me, that he'd hook me and my guildies all up.
So you just assumed everything was taking care of under the classification 'hook up'? That's how the leet speak.
So we don't have any rooms at all? We're homeless.
I knew, this will happen.
Mamaa Yo, is that - Oh, it's Cheesy Internet Pirate Dude! You rock, cheesy! Arrr! Ok, see? Do you really want to deprive the convention of that? Ok, ok, ok - Let me see what I can do.
Ok, ok, alright, ok, ok One room.
Everything else in town was taken.
Sweet! Aw, floor bed! Let's check out the view.
First person to flatulate sleeps in the hall.
I don't wanna brag, but I'm really good at it.
When I was twelve I rolled the score over on an arcade tetris machine.
So Anyway We're leaving tomorrow for the gaming convention.
The guild is carpooling in Vork's creepy van.
So as long as there's not an Amber Alert out we should arrive tomorrow, ready for a weekend of I'm not really sure.
I've never been to a "nerdstravaganza" before but getting offline and out of my element will be awesome.
Give me some space to work out my chaotically aligned feelings about Zaboo.
Am I into him? Do I wanna do the nasty with him? Idea isn't repulsing me.
but whatever Road Trip! I spy with my little eye Oh, a family of six, flipping us off.
Tink, that looks like a very fun game but if you turned lower this a bit so I can see this area better.
Back off! God, why did I agree to go to this trip? Vork! Do something! Bladezz, stop doing whatever you should doing to Tink.
Hey, it's that family again, still - still giving us the bird.
I'll have your licence, fiend.
Dude! How am I driving? Hello? Are we there yet? Clara, don't make me pull this guild over.
Are you watching that video, I made you? Oh my god, you made High School Musical? No, I recorded your kids saying goodbye to us.
It was super cute.
They noticed? Now they're gonna tell Wiggly I left! Fagenghast! I spy with my zombie eye My fist coming to your face, if you not gonna shut the f up.
C'mon, Tink, everybody loves a car game.
Ok Punch buggy'd.
Good one.
Come on, you guys We gonna have so much fun at this convention.
I mean we gonna play the game, get to know each other better, right Zaboo? Yeah! Midnight Munchkin Madness! Alliterated.
Screw that! Let me out! Psychological studies show that rats housed in uncomfortably close proximity become overly aggressive and gnaw each other to death.
We may be close.
Codex? What the hell is this? Oh it's nothing, really.
What are you guys talking about.
I wanna be involved in anything you are talking about.
Conference in the south wing.
Now! That'd better be a suicide note.
I wish just I don't know.
What do you think about it, him and me? You've come from hot stunt guy to kilted guild leader to Zaboo? Your relationship patching system is seriously going in the wrong direction.
He is not a downgrade, I mean, look at him! What.
.
What's wrong with him? Oo, oo, ooo! The licence plate game! The winner gets a lesson from me in Fortran.
Oh, and it's gonna smell like smell like burrito So.
Maybe I just want someone who is nice to me for a change.
And warlock priest combo is killer, right? Middleearth to Codex.
That's not real life.
But maybe it can be.
Does it hurt to try? Yes.
But you knew the convention was happening sometime this yearish.
Why are you acting so surprised? You can't mess with Kevinator.
The dude hooked us all up with rooms and tickets.
I'm a special guest, remember, with air quotes.
That little bastard deprived me of my hard-earned, capitalist-funded Guild Hall! I intend to report him to the heads of the game, personally! Before this car stops, I wanna play a license plate game! Oh boy Polo shirt-clad woman! We're here for the festivities.
Please let us out! Welcome to the Mega-Gama-Rama-Con! We're only taking registration tonight.
The convention opens tomorrow, but - Excuse me Vork, tell her you are chauffeuring a special guest.
I think she got that.
Oh wow, a special guest! Are you kidding? Follow me.
Yep, already loving this.
I am officially authorizing the use of this parking - We are so - honored to have you attend our convention.
Ehm, excuse me Hi, I'm a special guest, what kind of VIP treatment is this? Oh my god.
Sorry, did I just insult you? Oh, heyheyhey, no, calm down, it's ok! You can't know everyone, right? Oh! Excuse me! I'm not just everyone, I'm the Cheesy Pirate Kid! I'm a meme! I'm sorry I'm sure lots of people are really excited you are attending.
I mean not that I'm not.
Oa, wow, I love we found someone more neurotic than you, Codex.
Uh, yeah, I told you this'll be a great weekend.
Wow, are you having spasms or something, 'cause your face is twitching.
Ok, look.
We have rooms and badges under the name Finn Smulders, ok? I don't want stalkers, showing up to my door, offering me their bodies, unless they are Double-D certified, got it? I have you here for six badges but as for rooms, we don't provide those to guests.
What? Ok, Kevinator told me, that he'd hook me and my guildies all up.
So you just assumed everything was taking care of under the classification 'hook up'? That's how the leet speak.
So we don't have any rooms at all? We're homeless.
I knew, this will happen.
Mamaa Yo, is that - Oh, it's Cheesy Internet Pirate Dude! You rock, cheesy! Arrr! Ok, see? Do you really want to deprive the convention of that? Ok, ok, ok - Let me see what I can do.
Ok, ok, alright, ok, ok One room.
Everything else in town was taken.
Sweet! Aw, floor bed! Let's check out the view.
First person to flatulate sleeps in the hall.