The Neighborhood (2018) s05e01 Episode Script

1
Oh, would you look at this.
How is this even okay?
They just rent these scooters
to anybody all over town,
and then let them dump them
in my damn yard?
Oh. Okay, so now I'm the bad guy.
Tina, a little help here.
Eh, looks like you got it.
Hey, girl. What you reading? Instagram?
I'm just checking Grover's location.
Ooh, spying on the kid.
I'm very proud of you. Right?
I thought I'd take him to see
that new movie Hannigan.
The origin story about the
orphanage lady in Annie?
It shows why she got so mean.
Gem, our new solar panels
have charged up,
and the electric company is on their way
to disconnect us from the system.
Finally, we will no longer
be prisoners of the grid.
Ooh. Calvin, get excited.
It's goodbye grid day.
Oh, when is it gonna be
goodbye Dave day?
What's wrong with you?
I'm sorry, man.
I just don't know what's going on
in this neighborhood anymore.
They have these scooters
all in my damn yard,
and then those ugly solar panels
you got on your roof.
And don't get me started about the guy
that bought Reggie's house
across the street.
He put in Astroturf.
Sure, his yard's always even and green,
but he's cheating!
I went over to introduce myself and
welcome him to the neighborhood.
The fool talked to me
through his doorbell,
like I was in a drive-thru.
I'm Calvin Butler. I get invited inside.
You know, it used to be
there wasn't a couch
in a four-block radius that
didn't know my butt personally.
Now everybody just sticks to themselves.
Everybody except for that lady
that says "good morning"
no matter what time of day it is.
He's just upset because
Reggie moved to Oxnard,
and nobody will watch boxing with him.
No, I'm upset because
Reggie sold his house
To the dude with the fake-ass grass.
Wow, this landscaping is gorgeous.
- Oh, you like it?
- Love it.
I just moved in around the corner.
Hey, do you have a card?
I'd love for you to come by,
take a look and give me a bid.
A bid? Why would I give you a bid?
I-I'm sorry, are you not the landscaper?
The landscaper?
I'm Calvin Butler.
I have lived her for 28 years.
I got two years left on my mortgage,
just redid my kitchen,
and that speed bump? I got that put in.
Yeah, people used to just fly by here.
And the dog park?
You can thank me for that.
And I ain't even got a dog.
Good morning.
It is 3:15 in the afternoon, ma'am.
Doo, do, do, doo ♪
Mama!
Oh, hey. Here comes the bride.
How's the wedding planning coming?
Well, Miss Tina,
that's what we came to tell you.
Marty and I have been thinking
Of having a beach wedding.
In the sand? Outside? Near the water?
Yeah, Mom, the beach.
Okay, well, I guess I'll just
return my beautiful heels
and get some Crocs.
Look, look, look. Look at this, Mama.
Isn't this amazing?
Let me see.
Ooh, baby, you're right.
That is amazing.
You know, do it just like this,
but in a church, with AC, and floors.
Okay.
So, what are you making?
My baby boy's favorite, fried fish,
with my supersecret Tina spices.
Ooh.
- Sounds delicious.
- Yeah.
I wish I could have some,
but I'm in training,
and fried food's definitely off my menu.
Oh, it's okay, I understand.
Don't feel bad.
That just means more for us.
Actually, it's-it's a lot more.
I'm supporting Necie by doing
her training diet with her.
Turns out I like flax.
Oh, that's so nice.
You know, supporting your fiancée.
You know, that's how you build
a strong relationship.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
Love it, love it. I just love it.
David Johnson? I'm Thad.
From Pasadena Gas and Electric.
Happy to see you.
Okay.
Uh
I need you to initial a few items.
Ooh, I already got a pen,
let's get this party started.
Hey, there you are.
I thought we might grab a bite
and go see Hannigan.
The Annie movie?
Yeah. Remember how we used to
put on the soundtrack
and dance around with brooms?
Yeah, when I was five.
But don't you remember the choreography?
Okay, Gemma.
It's uh
Hey, uh, G-man, you have got
skills on those scooters.
Wh-What are you talking about?
I'm talking about you.
I just drove past you and your boys.
Y'all were killing it, man.
Uh, that wasn't me.
A lot of people look like me.
You're seeing it more and more.
Yeah, we don't let Grover
ride those things.
And I don't want to,
so I guess that settles that.
Right, right. You know,
now that I think about it,
your look is very popular.
It must have been some other
little white boy that I saw.
Oh, my God, it was you.
It's right here on
my credit card statement.
Goose E-Scooters.
You lied to me.
D.J. And another D.J.
"This page was
intentionally left blank."
Don't know what that's about.
Uh, D.J., and then my full name,
David Seymour Johnson.
It's a family name.
I know what it sounds like.
It was not fun in fifth grade.
Or when Calvin found out.
Okay. Done.
Now get me off of that
grid, my good man.
Okay.
Gem it's happening.
Did you know your son rode on a scooter
and then lied about it?
Oh, really, Grover?
On grid day?
Thanks for ratting me out.
Well, you didn't tell me
it was a secret.
It was a secret from you, too!
Looks like somebody's a dry snitch.
The driest.
You don't know
what a dry snitch is, do you?
No, but I would like to learn.
It's somebody who snitches by accident.
Malcolm does do that.
No, I don't.
It happened one time, okay?
It's not like I told Grover
when you backed over
his remote-controlled car.
- Come on.
- Okay, man.
Two times.
Babe, I'm telling you, you don't
want to miss this fight.
Ortiz has been ducking
Jackson for three years.
So then Jackson started
DM-ing Ortiz's baby mama.
Oh, it got personal then.
It's like one of your Housewives
shows, but not as violent.
Mama's cooking is suddenly
not good enough.
28 years of feeding that boy,
but what do I know?
But straight to the matchups tonight,
as we get ready for the opening bell.
Ah, here we go.
- What the hell?!
- Huh?
- My fight.
- My fish.
Let me see what's going on.
It looks like the power's out
across the street, too.
Wait, do-do you hear that music?
Yeah. Sounds like pirate music?
- Dave.
- Dave.
Yo-ho! ♪
Cranking my sea shanties too loud?
Well, any volume is too loud
for shanties, Dave.
But we got a bigger problem,
man. Take a look around.
Oh, my God.
The power's out everywhere.
This is fantastic!
My solar panels worked.
Look who's energy-independent now.
Suddenly Seymour.
Well, think about it, Dave.
That guy came to take you off the grid.
- Uh, yeah. Thad.
- And then bam!
Out of nowhere, the power's out.
Oh Thad.
Uh, I suppose he could have
shorted a transformer.
There's no suppose about it. He did.
Look, I was set to watch the
biggest fights of the year.
I-I paid for my per, now I want my view.
Well, you know, I'm sorry,
Calvin, but face it.
If you guys were off the grid,
you wouldn't be in this situation.
Well, if you would have
stayed in Michigan,
we wouldn't be in this situation.
All these people lost their power?
Dave, if you know what's good for you,
I would get in there and
turn your lights off right now.
Why?
Hey, uh, can I charge my phone?
Oh, yeah. They're coming for you, Dave.
Oh, me, too.
Oh, it's about
to be Hunger Games up in here.
Wow. The power's out everywhere.
Oh, well, not everywhere.
Well, don't worry. Mommy has candles.
No need for candles.
I've got these hand-cranked flashlights.
Whoa!
These are way better, babe.
Oh, yeah.
Way better.
All right, guys. Here we go. Ready?
Uh, now, please just use what you need.
No. Sir, don't plug in your car, please.
Look at all these credit card charges.
What are all these?
Uh, look, I didn't mean
to start anything, Gemma.
No, no, no. It's good that I
know that I can't trust Grover.
I'm so glad you snitched.
Dave, what is Luckytownadventures.com?
Nothing!
Well, uh, it's not nothing! It's $200!
Grover spent $200
at Luckytownadventures.com!
Wasn't Grover, so maybe stop shouting
"Luckytownadventures.com."
Do you know what that is?
Yeah. No.
Maybe. Just leave me out of it.
Gemma, remember a couple months ago
when we saw an article about an item?
One that many people found
enjoyable?
- An article?
- Yeah.
- About an item?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, the item?
Oh. Oh. Mm-hmm.
- Right. The item. Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Uh, okay, uh, so that wasn't Grover.
- Mm-hmm.
But before you get the idea that
we're freaky, it was just
Oh, look, there's Trey,
and he's calling me. Trey!
Trey!
What's up, man?
Man, my fridge is out,
and I've got prawns
in my trunk going bad.
- Anybody want prawns?
- Okay. You know what?
I've got lasagna in my fridge
that's gonna spoil.
I'm gonna bring it over.
Okay, well, you've got prawns,
I got ten pounds of fish.
I'm gonna bring
that deep fryer out here.
Hey, Dave, bring out an extension cord!
Hey, babe, look what I found
when I was looking for flashlights.
Radio Raheem would be proud.
I mean, look, we're all stuck
out here in this mess.
We might as well
have a good time, right?
Now watch me work.
- Is this veggie lasagna?
- Turkey.
Do you have veggie lasagna?
Oh, no. It's just
what was in our fridge.
You don't have any vegetarian options?
We are not a restaurant!
Hey, uh, Gemma, I am so glad
that none of these people know
that Dave caused that blackout.
He did?
Who's Dave?
You are not Gemma.
Hey, did you guys know
some Dave guy caused all this?
Dude, you got a problem. But
Ooh. Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't speak, um that.
Sorry. My grandmother
She's offering you
her homemade Vietnamese soup.
Oh. Oh. Okay, yeah.
You know what? I-I believe
I've heard of this.
This is, uh this is
"foe," right? Yeah? "Foe."
- "Fuh." It's "fuh."
- "Fuh."
"Fuh."
Well, it's fuh lavorful
is what it is.
What's in this?
Mm.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh, hey, y'all.
Anybody hungry? Get some
of this nice lady's soup.
Hey, Dave?
Would you happen to have
any USB-C connectors?
All of these are A.
Oh, yeah. Sure, Melvin.
Let me just stop everything
I'm doing right now
and go buy some for you.
You're pretty sarcastic for
a guy who caused a blackout.
Huh. I wonder who told you that.
Malcolm!
Hey, man.
Y'all got to taste this soup.
It's spelled like "pho,"
but pronounced "fuh."
It's a little confusing, but
once you get past the phonetics,
it's delicious.
And don't get me started
on the toppings.
Mmm. What up, fellas?
I can't call it.
Dad, are you actually enjoying yourself?
What? No!
No, I am furious about this blackout.
Plus, I'm missing my fight.
But I ain't mad at this "fuh," though.
Grover used to be so sweet.
Is this what having a teenager
is going to be like?
Am I losing my little boy?
Well, I hate to tell you, Gemma.
Once your little boy falls in love,
you're gonna wish
you had scooter problems.
Oh, God, I don't even
want to think that far.
But you were so happy
when Marty got engaged.
I still am, and
and Necie she's very lovely.
And those two are so good
for each other.
But Marty's forgetting
the order of things.
God, mother, wife.
Same order for Calvin?
Don't start with me, Gemma.
Whoa!
He's down! He's down!
- Y'all got the fight on this?
- Yeah.
Oh, look at that! He's getting
up! He's getting up!
Oh, damn it, man. Your mother's calling.
- I got to take this.
- Yeah.
H-Hey, Dave?
We got to bring your TV out here.
It's mounted on the wall.
Uh, who all wants to watch
the fight on a big screen?
Big screen! Big screen!
Big screen! Big screen!
The people have spoken.
Come on. Let's get that TV.
Oh! Yes!
You see that, Tuyen?
Ortiz just got a long reach.
You can't touch him!
Ah. You feel me. I got you.
Hey. Hey, so, uh, want some fried fish?
Cá chiên, Calvin. Cá chiên.
Oh, cá chiên. Cá chiên, yes.
My wife makes the best cá chiên.
Oh. Okay. Ah.
I see this neighborhood
rubbing off on you.
That was delicious as always, Mama.
Oh, thank you, baby.
Where's your brother?
Oh, I saw him on the side yard
eating a plate of fish.
Wait a minute. My fish?
Yeah.
Got 'em!
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, Mama, Mama.
Please don't tell Marty
that I told you, okay?
Don't you worry, baby.
Oh, thank you. I ain't no snitch.
Aha!
Oh, Mommy!
This warms my heart.
Mama, I tried. I tried
to be strong for Necie,
but your fish kept calling me.
I lied to the woman I love.
I am so ashamed.
Oh, no, no, don't be, sweetie. Don't be.
Look, let me tell you
a secret about marriage.
The occasional little
innocent lie never hurts.
- Really?
- Sure.
Like, your father always lies and says
that he doesn't smoke cigars anymore,
and I lie and say,
"You've seen this dress before." See?
Okay, so, as far as anyone
knows, I didn't eat this fish?
Marty, I'm your mother.
I've always got your back.
I didn't see you eat any fish.
Hmm.
Ah, what do you think you're doing?
It's just going to go to waste!
Listen, you may be almost a teenager,
but there are still consequences
for breaking my rules.
There will be no video games,
you are cleaning all of this up,
and you are certainly
not getting ice cream.
Sorry, Mom. I just
Austin thought it would be
cool to ride scooters,
and I didn't want to be uncool.
I didn't know what to do.
It's okay, honey. I understand.
Peer pressure can be hard,
but it's only going to get harder.
But I know you're a good kid.
Maybe next weekend we can go
see the Annie movie?
Do you want your ice cream back?
- Yes.
- Well, you're not getting it, liar.
I am never going to see that movie!
Oh, yes, you are, and we are
gonna wear matching outfits!
I don't understand
what's taking so long.
Hey, Malcolm, have you seen Thad?
Nice try, Dave.
You are not getting me again.
It's the 12th
round, and these guys are toe to toe.
I can't believe this.
We're stuck waiting for power,
and this guy is sitting there
watching my TV.
Thad!
These juice-hungry hordes
are sucking my power dry!
- Now, I need you to get up there
- Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave.
Chill out, man. I told him
he can take a breather.
Calvin, it has been hours,
and we still have no power.
I know, but look around, man.
I mean, the spirit
that I'm feeling here
I haven't felt that
in this neighborhood in a long time.
I mean, people are actually
enjoying each other's company.
And and Tuyen She invited me
to her mah-jongg club.
I mean, it's like spades, but Asian.
So, if this is what
getting off the grid gets you,
then, I'm not in a hurry to get back on.
It is kind of nice seeing
everybody out like this, isn't it?
Yeah, man.
So why don't you just
sit back and relax?
Have you some pho, man. Get some pho.
I'm down to pho.
This is an excellent party, Calvin.
Well, it is, isn't it?
I'm sorry about this morning.
I'm Sherri, this is Andrea, and
we just moved in on Cresthaven.
Oh, uh, nice to meet you.
And we're still looking for
recommendations of a landscaper.
All right, well, uh,
I'll see what I can do.
Welcome to the neighborhood.
Good morning!
It is 9:30.
Do you not see the moon?
You know, that was fun. Mm.
Who would have thought
it would take a power outage
to restore my faith
in this neighborhood?
Hmm. Yeah, it was a great night.
You know, with the candlelight
and you next to me,
it could become an even better night.
- Oh, really?
- Mm-hmm.
So, are you trying
to do a little something?
You know I am.
Side effects include
itching, diarrhea,
constipation, dry mouth,
significant increase
in mucus production
Okay, now the power's back on.
So you gonna go turn everything off
so I can turn you on?
Uh, change of plans, babe.
That fight was $99.99.
I'm about to go watch the highlights.