This is Us (2016) s05e01 Episode Script

1 Previously on This Is Us LEIGH: Your life has really been defined by your mothers.
The mother you lost at birth, who was barely a footnote in your story, and the mother who lied to you for 36 years.
I've been having some memory issues lately.
They did diagnose me with something called mild cognitive impairment.
- (JACK CHUCKLES) - Don't you think our amazing little man deserves a sibling? And the Pearsons have a pretty good track record with adoption.
I'm not gonna do that trial, Randall.
Well, Mom, whatever you want to do, that's what we'll do.
RANDALL: Mom, you have to do this clinical trial.
What did you say to Mom to convince her to go to St.
Louis? I did whatever I needed to do to give our mother the best possible chance.
You'll never know what it's like to devote yourself to anyone other than yourself, and you'll pretend, but it'll just be a performance, a tired, stale performance, like all of your performances.
You know, I used to think the worst thing that happened to me was the day that Dad died.
It's the day they brought you home.
Hand to God, Randall, the worst thing that ever happened to me was the day they brought you home.
(MOUTHS) This is really not a good time, Madison.
I'm pregnant, Kevin.
It's twins.
Twins? Wow.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) (EXHALES) What now? I have no idea.
Feels like this is all happening just as the world is falling apart, you know? The-the virus thing.
It's Madison, trust me.
I'm a movie star, okay? I think if there was really something to worry about, - my agent would've - (PHONE BUZZING) Huh.
ANNIE: My friend Daphne says if you touch your face, - you automatically get it.
- You might.
- Deja, come on.
- Hey, this thing is serious.
People need to wake the hell up.
Okay, yeah.
Understood.
But, Mom, if you guys change your mind and want to come stay here, you.
.
Okay.
I know.
Holy crap.
Hey, Mom, I'll call you later.
I love you.
Well, the clinical trial is officially postponed.
After all that.
Thank God Mom and Miguel went to the cabin before St.
Louis.
She says she's comfortable.
She'll ride it out there.
(WHISPERS): Tom Hanks got it.
- Hanks got the corona? - Hanks got the corona.
Oh, I got to call Kate.
- Randall - No, it's Tom Hanks, Beth.
She got to hear this from me.
People gonna wake up now.
KATE: Okay, back up.
I need you all the way out on the lawn, Kev.
- KEVIN: All right, all right.
- KATE: Please.
- (DOOR OPENS) - KEVIN: Standing, like, in the middle - of the yard, Kate.
- Thank you.
And hi.
- Hey! - KATE: (CHUCKLES) Hey.
- What's up? Where's my handsome nephew? - Stop.
He's getting his beauty rest.
Keep it down.
Oh.
Right.
Sorry.
Uh, well, hey, so, I have some really big news.
Um didn't seem Zoom-appropriate.
Oh, it's a big one.
(CHUCKLES) Yes! Just say it.
You're the new Batman.
No.
- No.
- TOBY: What else could it be? What, did you start a tequila company? Huh? Did you get somebody knocked up? (KATE LAUGHING) Well Damn, Toby.
Uh Come on out.
Why is Madison getting out of the car? What is Madison doing here? Why is M Madison, are you pregnant? Kevin.
Kevin.
Kevin.
Kevin, did you get Madison pregnant? There's more.
So, it's twins.
What are these words that you're saying right now? What is happening?! What is happening? What's happening? Kate, what's going on? What are you feeling? Um Well, I am feeling like we need a massive air hug right now.
(ALL LAUGHING) - Madison.
- Let's hug it out.
(LAUGHS) Oh, my goodn Congratulations! KEVIN: Huh? It's good, right? - Yeah.
- It's cool, right? - Yeah.
- Ah.
She's pregnant.
It's twins.
They're mine.
GREGORY: Congratulations.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Uh-uh.
Rough day? It's a nightmare out there.
We were handing out PPE to all the residents north of Girard and Ludlow, but, uh, there's just not enough.
BETH: Hmm.
Um, your sister called.
Everything's okay, but she just found out that her friend Madison you know, the blonde one? Talks a lot.
- She comes over to family - I know who Madison is, Beth.
She's literally the only friend in our entire family.
Well, Kevin knocked her up.
She's having a baby.
Babies.
Twins.
NEWSMAN: Officials in the Seattle area are recommending KEVIN: So, here's a thought what if I were to rent a giant house, and we quarantine together? You would have your own wing.
Eh, nah.
Yeah, it's that's sorry.
That's crazy, you're right.
No.
No, it's not.
I mean, God knows I could use the help, but everything is upside-down, and I feel like crap.
I mean, I'm comfortable here.
This is my home.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
(NEWSMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV) I mean I have a guest room.
- It's not big, but - I'll take it.
- Really? - Yeah.
It's small, but it's-it's pretty nice.
- Yeah? - Yeah, I decorated it with, um, stuff I got in Japan when I did my junior year there.
- Really? - Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, uh (CHUCKLES): Perfect.
(SIGHS DEEPLY) (PHONE BUZZES) (PHONE CHIMES) RANDALL: Eight minutes, Beth.
Eight minutes.
They kneeled on that man for eight minutes.
- How do you - (EXHALES) I can't even watch it.
(CHUCKLES, SIGHS) It's too much.
It's too much.
RANDALL: Our food banks are overrun.
We're furloughing hundreds of city employees a week.
Plus Beth's studio is hemorrhaging cash.
It's We're managing.
(SIGHS) So, how are you doing with everything else going on in the world? Randall, I I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about anything.
Anything at all.
NEWSMAN: More protests are underway in cities across this nation all bracing for more fire and fury as nationwide street clashes last night turning violent Protests nationwide are demanding justice (RANDALL EXHALES, GROANS) It's my sister.
Again.
Oh, Lord.
Here we go.
It's pics from a march.
(CLICKS TONGUE) It's Jack's first protest.
Oh, and she wants to know what Black cause to donate to next, so Can we change the channel? Please.
Just for a minute.
Annie, you've got the Conn.
(BUZZER SOUNDS) - Muzzle.
- STEVE HARVEY: Muzzle.
(APPLAUSE) - (BELL CLANGS) - (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) (FAMILY FEUD THEME SONG PLAYS) You know, we all used to watch this together.
- Hey.
- Hmm? I was thinking.
Um, I know you're worried about your mom at the cabin, and your 40th isn't too far off.
(CHUCKLES) My grandparents used to rent these campers, drive cross-country and change shifts.
We wouldn't have to fly or stop in hotels.
We could take Kate and Jack and Toby if we all tested and quarantined first.
Kevin, give me your hand.
- That's the babies.
- Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, that's wonderful.
Another all-nighter, babe? - It's your birthday.
- Yeah.
It's endless.
Got to Zoom-call some local business owners in an hour just so I can tell them their loans are still being held up.
- Mm.
- Then I got to prep for that rally at the police station on Monday.
Hmm.
(RANDALL SIGHS) Check it out.
100% tremor free.
I'm doing two virtual sessions with Dr.
Leigh a week just to be safe.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Well, then, uh, you know what I was thinking? Hmm.
It has been a while, you know, since, uh since we've had sex.
With all the stress of I don't know the protests and the masks and the 'rona, the Karens, my failing dance studio, and our crumbling finances I hate that you're saying all these things with a sexy voice.
- Mm-hmm.
- Um can I take a rain check? I look like the damn car wash? Please.
So what do you want to do, then, today - for the birthday? - (SIGHS) I'm not gonna ask you again if you want to go up to the cabins since the whole family drove out.
Thank you, because I don't.
So what? You haven't asked me any questions, you haven't dropped any hints.
Birthday's your thing, babe.
- Thanksgiving's my thing.
- Well, you're a man of many things.
Oh, and a strictly-quarantined Malik is coming over later.
It is him and Deja's one-year anniversary.
I know.
Just, don't ask.
(LAUGHS) All right, old man.
I'll meet you downstairs for some birthday breakfast at least? Don't forget your dentures.
You know, for all I know, today isn't even my birthday.
I mean, we're supposed to believe that a newborn baby made it to a fire station, to a hospital, and into a new family's arms all in one day? I'll never really know what happened that day.
(BABY CRYING) WILLIAM: Laurel? (SHUSHES) (CRYING CONTINUES) Quiet down now, son.
Let your mama get some rest, hmm? (GRUNTS) Laurel? Hmm.
Hmm.
Time to wake up, beautiful.
Baby? Baby? LAUREL: Carter's a good enough man, - but he not riding for us.
- GRACE: Thank you.
LAUREL: We need to do like - Charlene Mitchell did.
- What? Lose an election? At least she tried.
Get your lady, man.
She's on that communism talk again.
Yeah, Laurel doesn't need getting, trust me.
Mm, that's right, baby.
You know I'm talking sense, Erv.
We're dying out here.
Look what the Feds did with heroin.
They brought it into our neighborhoods to keep us down.
God knows they're good at that.
- Mm-hmm.
- Hell, I've battled with that stuff.
I'm battling it now.
- Hmm.
- Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh-uh.
- Since when? - Since now.
- Hmm.
- I'm pregnant.
- (LAUGHS) - Wow.
Someone unpause this man, please.
(LAUGHTER) GRACE: Oh.
(GRACE LAUGHS) Oh! - Mmm.
- Think about tomorrow Not today (BABY CRYING) Help! Somebody help me, please! JACK: Hey, you need help? No, I'm okay.
Oh.
Oh.
Give me that.
I got it.
Oh! - (SIGHS): Oh.
- Okay.
Water's broke, and let's go have some babies.
I got everything that we need right here in this bag from this list.
You have their going-home outfits? Oh, yeah.
Three onesies, locked and loaded.
- Butt cream? - I put some on this morning.
Do not be funny right now.
I have the butt cream the doctor recommended.
It's in the bag, okay? Okay, do you also have the, um? Babe, babe, look, I-I got a list.
And look at all those check marks.
I got everything that you need, okay? I've got I've got a-a blanket just in case you get cold.
Here, come on.
Let's go.
I got a T-shirt just in case in case you're hot.
Oh, babe, I brought I brought a razor just in case you decide that you hate my beard and you want me to shave.
- I love your beard.
- I know.
I would never ask you to shave your beard.
That's great news.
Come on.
- If I ever did, though - Uh-huh.
promise me you won't leave a mustache - or one of the, uh, the half beard - A goatee? - Ugh.
- (SCOFFS) I give you my word.
I will never, ever have a mustache or a goatee.
Okay.
Let's go have some babies.
Let's go have some babies.
(BIRDS CHIRPING) (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - Good morning.
- Morning.
You know, no matter what I do, I can't get that apple tree to come back to life.
Mm.
Yeah.
I think I might have to George Washington that bitch.
(REBECCA LAUGHS) You know, if we plant a sapling, we could have fresh apples - in, what, two years? - Absolutely.
- Yeah.
- Mm.
Oh, the kids slept in.
- Yeah, just like old times.
- Yup.
Except now they're 40.
I cannot believe they're all 40.
I know.
Wow.
I can't believe that Randall's not here.
TOBY: All right, Jack is down for the count.
Good God.
40 looks good on you.
- Thanks, babe.
- All right.
I hate this.
Without Randall.
So I've decided I'm gonna call him, and I'm gonna call him with Kev.
I don't care what's going on with them.
Hey, we need our classic Big Three call, and we need our classic Big Three birthday chant.
Yeah.
"And Dad said, 'Whee!'" I do not like when you do that.
- (CHUCKLES) - (DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN) - Hey, good morning, guys.
- KATE: Good morning.
(GASPS) Good morning.
There she is birthday girl.
Yeah.
Any word on the adoption yet? Mom, it's not Amazon.
Plus, we just uploaded our online video.
Well, I-I don't know.
It was so easy with Randall.
You know, we took you three home the same day.
That was 40 years ago.
I'm pretty sure that would be kidnapping now.
(LAUGHS) All right, so I'm planning on making all of your favorite dishes, including the seven-layer lasagne that you used to love from memory, I might add.
Okay, Rebecca, I see you.
(LAUGHS) I don't know what it is, you guys.
Maybe it's the the fresh air and being here at the cabin or the medicine that Dr.
Whitaker put me on, but I just I feel like magic.
I could do without this poison ivy, though.
No one touch my vegetables.
- Okay? - KATE: Okay.
What? Ooh.
Are Kev and Madison still asleep? Okay, nope.
Still feels weird to say that out loud.
Maybe we should try "Kadison.
" Nope.
- Mm-mm.
- That feels weird, too.
(BOTTLE THUMPS) (DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN) I got to tell you, I am all about this rustic lifestyle and all, but there is something to be said for water pressure.
You know what I mean? You all right? I was getting out of bed, and, um, I didn't see the suitcase.
I fell, Kevin, on my stomach.
I haven't felt them move in, like, 20 minutes, and they they normally don't stop moving.
(SNIFFLES) Kevin, I'm sorry.
No.
Hey.
No, no, no, that's not your fault.
And everything's gonna be okay.
No, something's not right.
I want to go get checked out.
Is that okay? Is-is there a place that we can go? Yeah, yeah.
Of course.
I'll, uh Want me to get Kate or No, don't.
I am I'm freaked out.
Just just us, okay? - (AIR PUMPING) - One, two, three, four, five.
One, two, three, four, five.
One, two, three, four, five.
One, two, three And why Should the shadows Mahalia Jackson.
"His Eye Is on the Sparrow.
" It was important to me.
After my brother died, I Feel lonely I don't like to talk about that part of my life.
That part of my life before here, before you.
I know.
Thanks for never pushing.
Doesn't mean I'm not interested.
I know.
So, I've been thinking, and I got some exciting things to tell you.
- You ready? - Mm, I am.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) (EXHALES) So, I've been thinking about what we gonna do before he comes.
I'm gonna go up for the assistant manager job at the store.
Erv is gonna put in a good word, and I'm gonna get it.
And we're gonna save up our money and get out of this apartment, with the AC that somehow never works but always drips.
You want to know where we gonna go? - I do - Two floors up! The empty two-bedroom with the giant window that catches the light.
He needs to have a window.
So what do you think? (INHALES DEEPLY) I think I love you.
He cares MARTIN: Sir.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - Sir.
- One, two, three, four, five.
Do you remember when she took the narcotic? - Even just a ballpark.
- One, two, three, four, five.
- Sir, are you high right now? - One, two, three, - four, five.
- Yesterday.
Last night.
Um She got clean before the baby.
I, uh - We didn't go to the hospital.
- One, two, three, four, five.
He just came so fast, and she was in so much pain.
(EXHALES) Is sh-she gone? I-Is she gone? - One, two, three, four, five.
- Joel.
- Joel, leave her.
- (PANTING) Mark the time and call it in.
Need to call the cops and Child Services, too.
This is a mess.
Sir, we're gonna need you to wait here.
Where'd he go? Let the cops figure out what to do about that.
Gonna be okay, son.
Daddy has everything under control.
It's going to be okay.
- (BLENDER WHIRRING) - And flour.
- Baking soda.
- Right, right.
Mix.
We got salt.
We have butter.
All right.
How's it going, ladies? How's his birthday cake coming? Uh, we just starting.
- (CHUCKLES) - (BLENDER WHIRS) So, this is for real? The entire family is an hour and a half away, but we aren't going to the cabin? Just leave it alone, okay, Tess? - Please.
- He's my uncle and I'm close with him, and I have a right to know what's going on.
Or maybe you could just leave it and, you know, be here for your dad on his birthday.
Oh, please.
You just want to spend your anniversary here with Malik.
- Hey.
- You know what? - RANDALL: Hey, girls.
Enough.
40 ingredients for your 40th birthday.
Try it.
Okay.
Hmm.
Is that, uh Tarragon, yeah.
40 ingredients is no joke.
It's delicious.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Happy birthday, Dad.
Happy birthday, old man.
Thanks, guys.
Glad to be spending it with my favorite people.
I will be outside returning some e-mails, if you need me.
- Just need some air.
- Mm-hmm.
It's not just me, right? Oh, no.
No, he's jacked-up, for sure.
Hey, guys.
Oh, wow.
This looks so good.
Um, I'm just gonna pop into town, do a quick errand.
Oh, cool.
Do you want some company? No, no.
I'm good.
It's a short walk.
I do it all the time.
Mom.
Kate.
Can I please go buy my kids a surprise birthday cake in peace? - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure.
Your cell phone charged? Yes.
Cell phone's charged.
- Good.
- Mm.
- Have fun.
- Thank you.
Bye.
See ya later.
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN) (DOOR CLOSES) What? Doctors all say that it's important for her to remain independent.
And we have a system, so Now it's tree chopping time.
Hmm? See you guys.
- Okay.
- (DOOR CREAKS OPEN) This is taking too long.
There's something wrong.
Yeah.
Well, um, you know, we're at an an urgent care facility in the middle of nowhere, right? It's not exactly Seattle Grace.
Grey's Anatomy.
- Hi, guys.
- Hi.
I'm Dr.
Gibson.
I'm the OB on call.
I'm up to speed.
We're still running your blood.
I'm just gonna take a quick look, if that's okay.
- Okay.
- (MACHINE BEEPS) - Twins, huh? - Mm-hmm.
Do you know the sexes yet? Um, we're waiting.
GIBSON: Always more fun.
(FETAL HEARTBEAT PULSING) Okay.
So, I'm only getting one heartbeat.
Oh, God.
GIBSON: Let's not panic.
I want to do a vaginal ultrasound so I can really see what's going on.
I'll be right back.
Do not jump to conclusions.
(DOOR OPENS) (DOOR CLOSES) (CHILDREN CHATTERING) William? Excuse me.
William, it's Re WILLIAM: I was generous with peppers.
They both gone.
Just like that.
How you get arrested for handing out flyers? I know.
But Erv is strong.
And Grace is, too.
We're gonna sort out their bail.
How? I didn't get the manager job.
They gave it to somebody else.
Ashley.
Who doesn't need the money and who couldn't give a crap.
- I wanted that apartment.
- I know.
He's not gonna have the window with the light.
He's gonna have us.
It's gonna hurt, you know.
I don't do well with pain.
I'm gonna be holding your hand the whole way.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) I'll save this for later.
(SILVERWARE CLINKING) Hey, you.
(TYPING) Mr.
Pearson.
Hey, Malik.
You in trouble? Uh, y-you're sitting outside.
That's usually my dad's move when he's in trouble with my mom.
- No, man.
I'm not in trouble.
- No? (LAUGHS): Okay.
What you got there? Oh, uh, just burgers.
I wanted to recreate the meal that I had with Deja first time we met.
- Very smooth.
- I try.
Happy birthday, by the way.
Thank you.
(TYPING) Y-You okay? We've been talking for, like, a minute and you haven't cracked a single wack dad joke.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
(CHUCKLES) Just got a lot on my mind, man.
Well, uh they say check on your strong friends.
- Checking.
- We're not friends, Malik.
- (CHUCKLES) - You're my daughter's Your daughter's? Come on.
You can say it.
You're my daughter's boyfriend.
- Mm.
(LAUGHS) - (CHUCKLES) I see, uh, you and your family have been out there demonstrating.
Deja showed me some pictures.
Yeah.
Um Actually this was Wednesday.
Daycare was closed, so, uh, we just decided to take Janelle with us.
Good for you.
(BREATHES DEEPLY) Did you watch when it came out? The video? Of George? Yeah.
Yeah, I watched it with my dad, actually.
We took a walk, right after.
That's kind of our thing now.
That's what we do.
Started after Trayvon Martin, and just been taking walks since.
You ever heard of Jonny Gammage? I don't think so.
Who's that? He was the cousin of Ray Seals.
Ray was a former defensive end for the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Anyway, Jonny was 31.
He was driving home one night in a fancy car.
Cops tried to pull him over for an expired registration.
He ended up getting pinned down by five of them for "resisting arrest.
" He died right there.
Damn.
Damn is right.
You know, growing up the way I did I always felt like when stuff like that happened in the world, it always stayed outside the house.
There were no walks.
Maybe it was too much for them; I don't know.
But when Jonny was killed, I was older so I watched it on my own.
For a kid to be all alone with that, it was a lot.
I've never said that out loud to anyone before.
Why not? (PHONE BUZZING) Well it turns out you are my best friend, Malik.
But you're also my daughter's boyfriend.
- Mm-hmm.
- And you can't be both.
You're gonna have to choose.
And not to tip the scales, but I can drive.
- (LAUGHS) - And Deja cannot.
There's the dad joke I was waiting on.
(LAUGHS) Ah (CLUCKS TONGUE) Get out of here.
- Go, go, go.
- (CHUCKLING) - Good to see you.
- See you, too, man.
(PHONE BUZZES) (EXHALES, GROANS) What can I get you, some water? Want some water? It's just a cramp.
- I'm okay.
- Okay.
(REBECCA LAUGHS) Okay.
Hey, you know, the doctor said it might be good to move around, - you know, like walk a little? - Yeah.
Hey, babe, could you get the radio? I'd love to hear some music.
- Okay? Thanks.
- Yeah.
- What? - I forgot the radio.
- Oh, it's fine, babe.
- Oh, God.
No, you said you needed music.
H-How could I not put that on the list? I-I had a list.
It's just I'm gonna find you one.
- Jack - Don't go anywhere.
He's been like this all day.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, all month actually.
Anxious is a very strange color on my husband.
I bet you must see a lot of that in here, huh? Anxious fathers in a maternity ward? No, never.
Hmm.
Their whole lives, they're told to be men.
To be in control, to act like a man, take it like a man.
And then all of this happens, and it must make them feel so Useless? (SIGHS) (CHUCKLES): Yeah.
KEVIN: Madison, do you trust me? Despite all my broken parts, you you believe in me? I do.
REBECCA: I think it takes a lot of strength for them to show us this side of themselves.
To let us see the scared little boy who existed before the world told him he had to be a man.
The little boy who once only needed his mommy.
Our babies are gonna be fine.
They're gonna be fine.
And I know that sounds crazy, but I can see it.
We're gonna have two beautiful, healthy babies, and they're gonna be amazing.
And we're gonna be amazing parents.
Together.
And the hell with it, I say we just get married.
Let's shock the world and get married.
We'll live happily ever after, all that, just I can't tell what you're thinking.
I wonder if we'll have sons.
I hope they're like their father.
(QUIET KNOCK) KEVIN: Doctor, hey.
This will only take a second.
(FETAL HEARTBEATS PULSING) There we are.
As expected, two heartbeats, very strong.
(BOTH CHUCKLING) Well, that was unnecessarily exciting.
(KEVIN SIGHS) I just want to say that I don't see them.
Your broken parts that you asked me about before.
I mean I get what you mean when you reference them the vanity, the narcissism, - the weird obsession with Chris Evans.
- It's not - Just stay on point, though.
- Oh, okay, um No, I I just feel like those aren't broken parts.
I just feel like they're parts of you.
And I think you are pretty fantastic, Kevin.
So, yeah.
I free you from your kind of sweet kind of bizarre "Jerry Maguire at the U-Haul," what-if marriage proposal that you made after we thought I killed one of our babies by falling over a suitcase.
And scene.
Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna take it back.
Kevin.
Unless you want me to take it back.
I mean, I'm not gonna make you take it back.
Unless you want to take it back.
Well there you have it.
What? I-I have no idea.
- I have no idea.
- (LAUGHS) Sounds like us.
- William? - Mm-hmm? If I can't become the mother that he deserves Oh, stop that.
You can and you will.
But if I can't promise me you'll make him a family.
Promise me.
(SOFTLY): Yeah.
Can you point me towards the nearest hospital? I can't His number's in my phone, and I need my phone to call him.
I need to call my son.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Hi.
Can I borrow this?