Transparent (2014) s05e01 Episode Script

1 I need to talk to you about something.
There's a big change going on.
My whole life, I've been dressing up like a man.
This is me.
(GASPS) I see you completely, as, like, I've never seen you before.
(APPLAUSE) Maybe you guys want to call me "Mom"? Get a load of this.
Mom.
My story is I am not at home in this family.
MAURA: There's Ali, she's my baby.
She just doesn't seem to be able to to land.
ALI: I just don't feel good in my body.
I don't feel in my body.
SARAH: Love I don't think I really know how to actually do that.
(MOANING) (CRYING): I didn't want to leave Len.
I don't even know what I want to do.
Hi.
(MOANING) (PANTING) - Oh, fuck.
- SHELLY: Joshy! This is the rabbi! Come out, come out.
RAQUEL: We'll just try again.
JOSH: I just need just, like, not right now.
Not right this second.
MAURA: I'm so glad to be rid of that wig.
Now you look much more powerful, like a California Earth Mama.
DOCTOR: We have a couple of things going on in your heart that we want to keep an eye on.
- We just have, just - There's something wrong with my heart? TEACHER: Shelly, time for class.
(CLAPPING) (QUIET, INDISTINCT CHATTER) Come on, Shelly.
- Oh, dear.
- Hey.
- I guess we're ready.
- Okay.
Think I'll keep on driving down Sepulveda Boulevard Just to see how far I can go Since I'm spending half my life Going nowhere in this car - Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Mom.
Seems to me I have The right to know Just how far Sepulveda Boulevard Really goes JOSH: My name's Josh Pfefferman, a love and sex addict.
Um - GROUP: In L.
A.
- I'm this close to a thing And I think it's about to come true - In L.
A.
- Picking up the kids The dry cleaning, then I'm heading to you I'm only five miles away But I think I'll be here all day How can I be home And feel so alone When I'm always just five miles away? Carpools and playdates fade to strip mall parking lots Me and my to-do list on the road Getting high on checking all these boxes off Getting high so I don't know Just how far Sepulveda Boulevard - Sepulveda Boulevard, never rest - In L.
A.
Just dump me off here at LAX - In L.
A.
- Keep on goin', hop a plane New York, New Jersey, northern Spain I'll see what my options are When I'm more than a mom in a car How can I be home And feel so alone When I'm always just five miles away? Think I'll keep on driving down Sepulveda Boulevard Seems to me I have the right to know Just how far Sepulveda Boulevard Really goes DAVINA: Time to get up, Maura.
(PHONE RINGING) (RINGTONE PLAYING) (PHONE RINGING, VIBRATING) (RINGTONE STOPS) Hello? Maura's dead.
(TIRES SQUEAL, HORN HONKS) (RUMBLING) - What happened? The surgery - I don't know.
I don't know.
JOSH: Does Mom know? - Well, where is she? - Call the kids.
- You have to call Bryna.
- (CRYING): Did Ari get here? It's just, she they were on the way - to come to the surgery.
- What did the doctor say? Davina went to wake her up.
She was already gone.
- Ruptured aortic aneurysm.
- I'm going to the hospital.
- I'm going to the hospital.
- I'm going to the hospital.
By the time you get to the hospital, we're gonna be gone.
- Okay, got it.
- Where are you right now? - Just meet us at Mount Israel.
- JOSH: Mount Israel.
SHELLY: Who the hell picked Mount Israel? (SIGHS) Anybody heard from your sister? - Sibling.
- At a time like this, - does it matter? - It's not about you, Mom.
Can you believe they want us to call them Ari? Ali is nonbinary now? - BRYNA: Ari is a very cute name.
- BOTH: Ari.
- SHELLY: I named her Ali.
- It means "lion" in Hebrew.
I like Ali.
JOSH: Mom.
- What? - Your flashlight's on.
- No, it's not.
- JOSH: It's on.
This is the flashlight button right here.
(GASPS) Oh.
Ah, Ali, Ali, Al Ari, Ali uh, uh, whoever you are, - thank God you're here.
- Mom.
Mom, stop hogging.
Thank God you're here, you're here, you're here.
- You're here.
- Mom, stop hogging.
(SIREN WAILING FAINTLY IN DISTANCE) - Oh, Mom.
- Mom.
(SIGHS) I'm so sorry.
- Ow.
- (MUTTERING) Mom, you're stepping on my (SIGHING) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) Does the family wish to see the body? - Wish? Wish to see ? - Uh - Oh, no.
No.
- Yes.
The family does not wish to see the body.
- What are you talking about? - Yes, we want to see the body.
SHELLY: No.
It's not necessary.
We don't need to do that.
- Yes, we do.
- Who wants to see a dead body? No, no.
- I do.
- We would like to see the body.
Yes.
- JOSH: Right now? - Thank you.
Yes, now.
- Yes.
- Right now? SHELLY: No, we don't we No, we don't need to go.
No, no, n no, no, no.
Let You stay with me.
That's good.
No, you stay here.
You know what? - Let's just remember her the way she - Mom.
Mom.
I'm not you, okay? I'm me.
Uh (DOOR OPENS) (DOOR CREAKS) (SNIFFLES) Oy.
- (LID CREAKS OPEN) - (CRYING) (SOBBING) YOUNG SHELLY: Come on, Maura.
- (GIRLS LAUGHING) - Go, really.
YOUNG MAURA: Shelly, I'm scared.
YOUNG SHELLY: No, we're gonna do so good.
YOUNG MAURA: Okay.
(GIRLS CONTINUE LAUGHING) - (FOOTSTEPS SCAMPERING) - YOUNG SHELLY: Ah, let's go.
- Come on, Maura.
- Let's go.
- Maura, Maura! - Shelly? Maura, wait up! (GIRLS LAUGHING) Ready, Shelly? YOUNG SHELLY: Ah, let's go.
Come on, Maura.
The audience is waiting.
(SNIFFLES) (CRYING): Oh, no.
Oh, my sweet baby girl.
(SOBBING): Oh - (GROANS) - (THUNDER RUMBLING SOFTLY) FUNERAL DIRECTOR: People wait three to four hours after the cremation before the delivery of the cremains.
That's a common phrase the ashes of the departed loved one.
Upon which time they can be transferred into an urn of your choice.
Uh, we have sites for the interment of ashes.
- A niche in a columbarium.
- Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
Are you talking about ashes? Why? Maura wanted to be cremated, sweetie.
What? Ari, Josh, Davina just told me that Maura wanted to be cremated.
Wait, wait.
No.
What what ? Since when did she want to be cremated? It's in her will.
- She discussed her will with you? - Yes.
(STAMMERS) Jews don't cremate, do they? Well, uh, some Jews do, yes.
Not a lot.
But this is usually something that folks consult with their rabbi about.
Do you have a rabbi to consult with, - or would you like us to recommend? - No, we have one.
- Recommend one.
- We have a rabbi.
We have one.
- No, please rec - We we have a rabbi.
- Please recommend one.
- We need Raquel.
- Sarah.
- I can't.
- Sarah.
- FUNERAL DIRECTOR: We can arrange the funeral - for Sunday morning.
- Sunday's perfect.
- Yes, let's do that.
- JOSH: Fine, but no Raquel.
ARI: Sir, thank you.
We'll do the service on Sunday and the interment of the ashes.
- Interment.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Goodbye.
- I'll take you home.
- You believe these kids, - making all these decisions without me? - Bye.
- Bye.
- What I'm sorry, what are you what are you doing? What do you mean, what am I doing? We need a rabbi? We have Raquel.
We need her now.
It's like you're trying to kill me right now.
- Okay? Don't kill me.
- Guys - I'm a sex and love addict, okay? - Oh, my God.
- I'm sober, and Raquel is my qualifier.
- It's not like heroin.
- How many times do I have to explain it to you? - Guys, it doesn't matter.
Listen.
I can lead the service.
In Israel, I was actually a priestess.
What? How can you be a priestess? I thought you're not a woman anymore.
Exactly.
Judaism is so binary, okay? We need to change all of that.
Preferably by Sunday.
(SIGHS) God.
I knew you'd be here.
Why'd you have to die? Hmm? You're free, Shelly.
"Cremate.
" Who's looking out for you? If you had had me on the DNR the do-not-resuscitate I would have resuscitated you.
Then again, maybe I wouldn't have resuscitated her.
She was a pain in the ass.
She treated me like a (STAMMERS) - Peanut.
- (LAUGHING): Yeah, a peanut she was allergic to.
Exactly.
Maura I have so much inside me.
I waited too long to do all the things I wanted to do Don't let the same thing happen to you Shelly Always trying to do what you should Feeling bad for feeling good We both did the best that we could Shelly What's true, Shelly? Come through, Shelly We need to sing our song We've waited far too long This pain inside of us It came at quite a cost Feel the joy arise in you Do the things you were born to do - Time's ticking to the beat of your heart - (TEMPO INCREASES) - Time's kicking you to make a new start - (SHELLY LAUGHING) You're much more than a Jewish wife Sittin' pretty in your pretty little Jewish life Shake your tushy till you shvitz and sweat Shake your tushy till they never forget You're a star in the universe Hell, call it a Shelly-verse (SCATTING) (TEMPO SLOWS) I waited too long to do all the things I wanted to do Don't let the same thing happen to you Shelly Come through, Shelly.
(LIGHTS CLANKING) (BREATHING RHYTHMICALLY) (ELECTRICAL BUZZING, METALLIC RATTLING) (GASPS SOFTLY) (ELECTRICAL BUZZING, METALLIC RATTLING) (ELECTRICAL BUZZING, METALLIC RATTLING) ARI: Hey.
How did you know she was dead? (SIGHS) I spent the '80s burying my friends.
I know when the soul is no longer in the body.
(ARI SIGHS) So, what do we what do we do now? Should I should I hack into her Facebook page and let her friends know? "Hi, everybody.
I I died, and I'm having a funeral.
" AVA: Hello? - Hi.
Turbo Nugz.
- ARI: Hi.
Sorry.
I ordered marijuana.
Do you want anything? - N-No.
- Okay.
Hi.
Should I kick off my shoes or ? Oh, no, it's fine.
Are you kidding? - Look at this thing.
- (CHUCKLES): Okay.
Great.
I'm Ava.
She, her.
(CLUCKS TONGUE) I'm Ari.
They, them.
Cool.
- Um so, where shall I lay out my wares? - Anywhere here.
I've been out of the country for six months, in Israel, and this happened while I was gone.
Shit.
Israel? - Yeah.
- That's cool.
I was there for a bit, a while ago.
Oh, you were? But I I had to bounce.
That whole Jerusalem syndrome was just, like, too much.
(CHUCKLES) The what? You know the Jerusalem syndrome? When you, uh you go to Israel and you think you're the Messiah? Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that the Messiah is not a person.
The Messiah is an idea.
And the idea is that we're all Messiahs.
AVA: Ah ARI: Ooh, wow.
Oh, my God.
This is (SNIFFS) (SIGHS) Oh, yes.
Yes.
- I need this.
- Mm-hmm.
And I will take these, and - I think this.
- Great.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Totally insane that I can pay for this on my phone.
Yep.
If you follow me on social, I'll give you a discount.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
- Turbo Nugz.
- Turbo Nugz.
(AVA CHUCKLING) Okay, um, I am following you.
Ari Pfefferman.
Yes.
- Gotcha.
- Cool.
Who's Shelly Pfefferman? - Um, that is my mom.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE) Literally two seconds after you followed me, she followed me.
- Yeah, she does that.
Um - Love that.
Does she like weed? - Uh, she likes followers.
- Oh.
Cool.
- Thank you.
- Yes.
Thank you.
Actually Home-brewed.
But be careful.
It's strong.
(CHUCKLES) Thank you.
Promise to not look away.
(TAKES DEEP BREATH) (SIGHS) Are you stoney baloney'd? - (SIGHS) - SARAH: You guys, she has some really beautiful shit in here.
- (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) - Like, I I mean, I got I'm gonna have to raid this.
Look at that.
JOSH: We're not doing kimonos right now.
Come on, it's pretty.
- I want to take it.
- Sarah, you're - Seriously.
- What? Nobody's calling dibs on anything right now, okay? Just get in here and get on top, 'cause we're making a sandwich.
- And I'm gonna be the bread.
- (JOSH AND ARI GROAN) - ARI: You guys.
- SARAH: Hmm? I think I can smell her through this comforter.
(SARAH AND JOSH TAKE DEEP BREATHS) She's still in these sheets.
(SNIFFING) Wait, that is There's something that's not Moppa.
- Oh, my God, it's probably Donald.
- (SARAH AND ARI GROANING) (HUMMING A TUNE) (CONTINUES HUMMING) Vayomer Adonai El-Avram Lech-Lecha Meartzecha.
What's your mumble jumbo? My Lech-Lecha portion, from my bat mitzvah I never got to have.
- Oh, my God.
Jesus.
(SIGHS) - Oh, yes.
Yes.
It also happens to be this week.
Which is odd timing.
Do you guys want to know what it means? - Uh-uh.
- Uh-uh.
It means that if you leave your parents' house and go out into the world and do something different than what they taught you, that you will be blessed.
That your life will be blessed.
And everybody who's nice to you gets blessed, and everybody who's mean to you gets cursed.
- I like that.
- It's good.
(DOOR OPENS) - There she is.
- Oh! Oh! My improv team! - You made it.
Oh.
- Shell, how are you? You haven't been to class in months.
Hey, mama-la, missed you.
SHELLY: Oh, I got Entenmann's.
I bought for you.
I got for you.
I put it out.
- Everybody can just take.
- We don't need Entenmann's.
If you have an idea for a project, we want to support you.
SHELLY: I have quite a project.
I was up all night writing a play.
- Wow.
- It's about my family.
- Okay.
- Hello.
Oh, wow.
- Ooh, ambitious.
- And I want all of you - to play my children.
- Ha-ha.
Oh, thank you.
I cast each and every one of you for your various, uncanny resemblances to my children.
You, you look like Joshy.
You always looked like Joshy.
You, boy-girl, girl-boy, just like my Ari Ali Ar-Al-Ali.
And you (GROANS) you'll do.
The muse came to me last night.
I had a death in the family.
- JEFF: What? - Mm.
- What? Shelly.
- Oh, my God, Shelly.
- I'm so sorry.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
- JEFF: May may we ask who it is? SHELLY: Her name was Maura.
She's my ex-spouse, my ex-partner.
She was (WHISPERS): fantastic.
She was trans.
Your kids' other parent - is a trans woman? - JEFF: We have two moms.
- We have two moms.
- No, you don't have two moms.
No.
Read the script, and you will see.
- It's all in there.
- Oh! Oh! - Oh, my God.
Oh, Shmuley.
- JEFF: This is a whole other dimension.
- Shmuley, Shmuley, Shmuley! - I didn't know that we were - It's okay.
Remain calm.
- SHELLY: Everybody, everybody, this is Shmuley, my Uber driver.
Um, Shmuley is very shy, so please don't speak to him.
He was, um, working in Albuquerque, was the temple pianist.
I mean, the temple organist.
And so, we're gonna not talk to Shmuley, but Shmuley is going to score the entire show.
- Wow.
- Okay, sit down, darling.
Do one of those little things you do.
- You know.
- (PLAYS GLISSANDO) Like that! Oh, oh! I almost forgot.
We have to find a trans woman who can sing.
And I, uh, posted the audition on all platforms.
So get out your phones and share from my page.
(PANTING) Time to find our Maura.
ARI: Thank you.
- Uh, you're welcome.
- Oh.
I want some ketchup.
The fridge smells funky.
- (LIQUID SQUIRTING) - What the fuck? - What? - You don't just squirt the watery juice that Are these eggs free-range? Hello.
You shake it up, and you pour it out - just like - Okay.
God.
How do you get by in this world? SARAH: You want some, Ari? ARI: Yes, please.
- Davina, you want some ketchup? - No, thank you, Sarah.
JOSH: Mmm.
Hey, do you have a place lined up? ARI: Where are you gonna live, Davina? - SARAH: Guys.
- JOSH: Out of curiosity.
- No, no rush.
- JOSH: I'm just asking.
I'm just asking, 'cause you're welcome.
You're welcome.
I'm just trying - to get an ETA on the whole - We know that Maura would want you to stay here as long as you need.
JOSH: Hold on a second, because I can't, like, bear to look at the slimy eggs going down your mouth without the toast with it.
Before noon, I'm rooting for you, afternoon.
- You have shit on your - JOSH: Oh, my God.
ARI: Somebody get it off.
I can't get it.
JOSH: It's fine.
Just leave it.
- SARAH: It's it's a huge glob on your face.
- JOSH: Just leave it.
We'll wipe 'em down at the end of the meal.
Who cares? - (DOORBELL RINGS) - Howard's here.
- SARAH: He is? - JOSH: That's our lawyer.
- That's Howard.
- How did he know we were here? Hi.
Ali.
Aw.
- Honey.
- (ARI SIGHS) I go by Ari now.
Hi.
Hi, honey.
Sarah.
(SOBBING) What are you guys doing here? We spent the night in her bed.
(SNIFFS, CHUCKLES) Oh, that's sweet.
What are you doing here? I had an appointment.
You two had an appointment? (UPBEAT TUNE PLAYING) - You go first - After you - You're the lawyer - Yes, that's true But I'm surprised she hadn't even told them - Told us what? - There's a will, there's a way Why is this so hard to say? HOWARD: Maura came to us with new instructions - Don't shoot the messenger - Don't beat around the bush These are her wishes and it's not our place to push - And we don't mean to throw you out - Or kick you in the tush But Maura left this goddamn house to me - What the fuck? - What the fuck? What the actual fucking fuck? It's our house, you can't just come and take it Where's that will? Let me see I can't read this legalese Why would Moppa ever want to change it? Can't speak for Maura, I don't live inside her brain But I assure you she was positively sane And you kids haven't been around So you kids can't complain That Maura left this goddamn house Maura left this stinkin' house Maura left this goddamn, stinkin' Giant, drafty, might as well be haunted house To me, to me.
(PLAYING SOMBER MELODY) (EXHALING) Where do we go? We can't go home I can't take this in right now - Let's just keep on walking - Nothing seems real Nothing makes sense We must have been blind somehow Who's got a song? Who's got a prayer? I've got a pipe That's not what we're doing No It's way too much, it's way too big I can't breathe Let's just keep on moving Run from your father's house Your father's house Run from your father's house Where did we go all of those years? I can't let this in right now - Moppa, can you hear us? - Can't make it work Doesn't compute Are we to blame somehow? You said you'd call, did you check in? You said you would - Don't be a fucking asshole - (LAUGHING) I did my best, we went to brunch - Where were you? - God, you are an asshole Oh, my children This part of me was so forbidden I'm reaching for you From a prison I endeavor To lead you through the darkest weather The forest of the cruel and clever It's worth it for this life Where have we been? It's worth it for this life Where have I been all of these years? - Where have we been? - I can't take this in right now It's worth it for this life Where have I been all of these years? - Where do we go right now? - All of these years It's worth it for this life - Where do we go? - Where do we go? All of these years It's worth it for this life - Where do we go? - Where do we go? (KIDS CHATTERING PLAYFULLY) JOSH: Camp Kohenet? ARI: Kohenet means "priestess.
" I decided to find Raquel.
I called her.
Why would you do that? There she is.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Yeah.
Good to see you.
(CRYING) (GIRLS MURMURING) GIRL (QUIETLY): What's his deal? (CRYING CONTINUES) Josh.
Josh.
(WHISPERS): There's, like, kids here.
- I'm so sorry.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Sorry.
What is this place? It's cool.
Uh, I am, uh, the resident chaplain.
(SNIFFLES) I'm convening a Rosh Hodesh retreat for adolescent girls.
Preparing them to greet the onset of their menses with a sense of wonder.
- It's pretty.
- Yeah, it's nice.
It's really nice.
SARAH: Yeah, maybe we can move in with you.
'Cause we just lost our house, so Maura left it to Davina.
ARI: Yeah.
It's We're we're feeling a little fucked up, you know.
(GIRLS CHUCKLING) Why don't we why don't we talk inside? - ARI: Hi.
- Hi.
SARAH: So do they, like, all get their period at the same time? Uh, why don't we talk about it in a second.
- Wow.
- Wow.
- Cool space.
- Cool.
- Thank you.
- So, um My God, it's so good to see you.
Listen.
I, uh I was actually wanted to ask you something.
I I wanted to, um, ask you if you might do, like, a little rabbi-ing for us for the funeral.
RAQUEL: Oh.
Um (SIGHS) Girls? Sorry.
Girls, can you please ? We need some privacy.
- SARAH: It's, um - RAQUEL: Sorry.
- Yeah, it's, like, Sunday.
- Okay.
Um, well, Sunday is is not gonna work for me.
That's the that's the day of the c culmination ceremony for the girls.
And, um, you know, to be honest, I've, uh, had to take a a s step back from the, you know, funerals and the grief component.
I haven't done any life cycle events for a couple of years now.
I love all of these God's eyes.
They're so great.
- (SARAH CHUCKLING) - God-Goddess eyes.
Right, right.
Kohenet means "priestess.
" That's why.
I know.
I'm actually thinking about becoming a rabbi.
I think you would be a fantastic rabbi.
Really? - Yes.
- Thank you.
One small problem: they never had a bat mitzvah.
- Bart mitzvah.
- SARAH: Yeah, or if they ever finished anything.
They just go from one thing to the other thing to the other thing.
- Can we go? I think - SARAH: No, we can't go.
- No, I actually wanted to get your take on cremation.
- RAQUEL: Okay.
- SARAH: Who cares what her take on cremation is? - Guys? - We need a rabbi on Sunday.
- She doesn't want to do it.
- She doesn't want to do it.
- It doesn't Look, she does.
- We have somebody for Sunday.
- We don't have - We don't have anyone else.
- We have somebody to run the service.
- Can we go now, please? - She wants to do it.
She just We have somebody else, and they're standing right here.
- I get why.
This is awkward - (OVERLAPPING ARGUING CONTINUES) By the way, did Mom text you about changing the date again? - She keeps texting me.
- Oh, my God.
Shut up! (SIGHS) Hey, you, wandering Jews Can't be your Mary Magdalene and sing away your blues So listen up, bubbies, 'cause I've got news You can't run away from your sadness It'll find you It's always right behind you It's part of our chemistry This specifically Jewish emotional form of ADHD Plus all this grief It's a lot to muddle through You can't run away from your anger It'll find you It's always right behind you I think you three need to sit in it Sit in all of it, the obvious kinds of things You're supposed to feel when someone dies You can't get through the shit Unless you sit in it You feel the burn until you earn The stinging in your eyes You need to sit in it You need to sit in it - (OVERLAPPING ARGUING) - (SIGHS, GROANS) No, you need to sit Oh, you need to sit in it That's right.
- Take it from me - (GIRLS VOCALIZING) I hate sitting, too It takes a lot out of me But that's what rabbis do Sitting in the feelings of everybody else And you're running from your feelings Till you're chasing yourself Out to the middle of nowhere But at least it's somewhere Goddess eyes, teenage girls Beanbag chairs (RAQUEL SIGHS) Oh, I'm gonna sit in it - Doo doot doo doo - (SIGHS) - Doo doo - (RAQUEL SIGHS HEAVILY) Doo doot doo Why do crazy people like me Pick crazy people like you? You can't run away from your feelings (GRUNTS) They will find you They will find you Yeah Oh, they will find you Ooh Oh, they will find you Yeah.
SHEA: Well what exactly did it say? - The will? - Yeah.
It said, "I leave the house to Davina Rejennae and the profits to the trans community.
" Wow.
What is the the profits? - So, it's paid? The house is paid for? - Uh, yes, the house is paid for, but I have no idea what the profits are.
The profits need to go to the trans community.
What do you think that means? What did she mean? Well, you can sell it.
Oh, my God.
(SIGHS) I don't understand why she left it to me.
I don't understand why I'm supposed to be responsible.
She's fucking with me that's what's happening.
She's fucking with me from beyond the grave.
Why didn't she just leave everything to the center to begin with? Or why didn't she just leave it to her kids? Mm Maura was a complicated girl.
I don't know what was up her crazy-ass caftans and her fucking magical muumuus.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING) (SIGHS) Hey.
Hey, babe.
Oh, my God.
There are no words.
There are no words.
There are no words.
There are no words.
- There are no words.
There are no words.
- Yeah.
Yes.
- There are no words.
- Yeah, sounds like there's a lot of words.
- Well, there are no words.
- No, I got it.
- Thank you.
I know.
- (SIGHS) Sorry about, um, drop-off and No, as soon as I got the call, I dropped everything and Oh, yeah, and and I'm sorry I didn't - I got all your texts.
- I just want you to know everything's been handled.
I got the kids.
- I picked them up and fed 'em.
- Thank you.
See, I told you she was here.
I told you she was here.
- Zacky said Grandma Maura died in the Holocaust.
- I told you she was here.
LEN: Guys, Mom's very sad right now.
Hey, what? No, she died of a heart attack.
- ZACKY: No, I said that Dad said - Oh, yeah, yeah.
- that there was an oven.
- Yeah.
- Dad said there was an oven.
- That Grandma Maura's gonna - Wait, wait, wait, wait, honey.
- LEN: I said - Put in an oven.
- Something in some "ation.
" - Some "ation.
" - What? No, cremation.
- I said cremation.
I didn't - Why would you tell ? - ZACKY: He did.
- Cremation is not the Holocaust.
- LEN: I was explaining different options - ELLA: Grandma Maura - It's a completely different oven.
- ZACKY: Mom, he - It's a completely different oven.
- LEN: Burial.
I didn't say the Holocaust, guys.
ZACKY: Well, you didn't make it clear, Dad.
Hey, don't don't try to get me in trouble.
ELLA: Mom, why did they burn people in ovens in the Holocaust? What? Why did they burn Jewish people in ovens? Why did you have to bring up the oven thing? - LEN: We don't have to talk about - What is that about? I was explaining that when someone dies - there are different options for a funeral.
- There's this guy, Hitler.
- Okay.
- Hitler? Hey, you brought up the ovens.
And, um, he basically was teaching people that if you can be nice to each other, you should be nice to each other.
- ELLA: What? - ZACKY: No.
That is not who Hitler was.
- Your mom is a Holocaust scholar.
- Really? He also is a really good example that if you have a really bad idea, you cannot trust people to tell you that.
- I I don't think - Why was there not one person who said to Hitler, "Eh, you know, no, I don't think that's a good idea, no"? I Like, the masses I get.
Like, the masses and the following and the sheep, I get all of that, but there where is the person who is in the friend group or at brunch or, you know, having dinner and saying, "I think that's a really bad idea"? I just don't think Hitler was having dinner with friends.
Everybody everybody's having dinner.
- ELLA: Stop touching me.
- ZACKY: Ow.
What are you doing? Certainly, Hitler ate dinner.
I'm not saying that Hitler didn't eat dinner.
It would be impossible for him to not eat dinner, historically.
ELLA: But, Mom, really, why Jewish people? ZACKY: Yeah, but seriously.
- Why Jewish people? - Why Jewish people? - I I Guys, I - Why us? What's so awful about us? Nothing.
There's nothing awful about us.
(HORN HONKS) - EMPLOYEE: Time to go! Time to go.
- (CLAPPING) - Come on.
- Time to go, kids.
Come on.
Move 'em out.
- Hey, lady.
- Hey.
You know, they told me your friend passed away.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Things took a turn so fast.
I didn't realize it was dire like that.
They did, and then they didn't, and then they did, and then I don't know.
I think I'm in shock.
I am.
I'm I'm in shock.
EMPLOYEE: Guys, plaza closes at 10:00.
- You all know this.
- All right, all right.
It's 10:05.
See you all at dinner.
- Ugh.
- EMPLOYEE: Let's go.
ELIZAH: You shouldn't have come in today.
No, I know that.
I know.
But if I didn't come in, what else would I do? DAVINA: Skylar.
(CHUCKLING): Hey.
Oh, my goodness.
Hey.
- Hi, Miss Davina.
- (DAVINA MUTTERING) - What are you doing here? - ELIZAH: Hi.
I didn't think I'd Why are you back? I tried to do the home thing, and it didn't work.
Okay.
Okay.
What's going on? Where are you Are you heading out? Yeah, we're gonna go look for jobs, but - would you hire us? - Hey.
Look, I'm a catch.
I am a formerly homeless, still somewhat homeless kid.
I just want to graduate.
You know, when I moved, they couldn't find none of my high school transcripts, so they wouldn't let me register.
I just want to graduate and start my life.
- I know.
- I'm sick of it.
I know.
I'm sorry.
- Oh, baby girl.
- Mm.
- (LAUGHING): Bye, Miss Davina.
- Okay.
Okay.
Oh, my goodness.
- Bye, Elizah.
- Bye, Skylar.
(DISTANT SIREN WAILING) (THUNDER RUMBLING) - My God.
Close it.
- Hold on, hold on.
- Oh, my God.
- What is the deal? - Freaking nightmare.
- It never fucking rains in L.
A.
- It is it is a nightmare.
- Okay, Mom's texting me again, saying, "What about Tuesday or Wednesday?" Can we do the funeral Tuesday or Wednesday? - She's lost her fucking mind.
- Absolutely.
JEFF: I cannot believe you would force Rita to give up our baby for adoption to protect me.
- ARI: What is this? - JOSH: What the fuck is that? - JEFF: That is fucked up! - What? - OTHERS: No.
- Did he just say "Rita"? That is not fucked up.
That is love.
- Ha! - Ha.
- Is that supposed to be us? - Oh, oh, my tushies.
- Come here.
- Mom.
Tushies, come meet your doppel-bangers.
- Are you making a play about our family right now? - Well, I - Did you just say "doppel-bangers"? - 'Cause that's not gonna happen, - because Maura just died.
- SARAH: Is this why you wanted to change the funeral day? - No, I I The temple is only - ARI: You are out of your mind.
giving me access to this room - for a very limited amount of time.
- For this? And I thought, if we could do it on a Monday - instead of on a Sunday - We're not changing the day of the funeral.
- Okay, okay.
I hear you.
- There's one of you - and one of you and one of me.
- I'm hearing.
I'm hearing you.
- Oh, my God.
That one looks exactly like you.
- That's you.
JOSH: No, it doesn't.
It doesn't look like me.
SHELLY: No, he looks just like you.
Yes, she's right.
Wait, why is my weed dealer here? - Mom, why is my weed dealer here? - No, that's my Maura.
- Oh, I I didn't tell you I - Your what? Are you a weed dealer? I mean, I prefer "healer" to "dealer," - but kind of, yeah.
- Oh, okay.
But I don't understand how you got here.
Oh, magic of Facebook.
Oh, that's the ring.
Oh, my God.
Take this off, Punky.
- Mom, what are you doing? - 'Cause I want to use it in the play.
- Mom, I'm wearing it.
- No, no, no, because I need to use it in the play, because this is what Maura proposed to me with.
- I'm wearing it.
- I'll give it back.
SARAH: No.
You're not using - a family heirloom for your play.
- I'm honoring Maura.
SARAH: What do you know about honoring anyone? - SHELLY: Oh! - SARAH: Well, it has meaning to us, okay? - It has meaning to me, too.
- It's a hard no! (SINGSONGY): Okay.
- Mom - What? It's a complicated thing There are feelings and dynamics - Well, I have feelings, too - Of course you do Like I'm feeling you're being a bit too dramatic (SIGHS) - Mom - Stop it.
Sometimes you have a way of dealing Believe me, this is hard for me to say - Just say it, Sarah - Say it, Sarah You have to promise not to overreact - Ugh.
- Not to make faces, not to judge - (STAMMERS) - Not to interrupt Just listen I have boundaries - Oy.
- I never knew I had them - Vey iz mir.
- I'm a true codependent Making everybody happy first instead of me Boundaries Yes, I know this word "boundaries" It's a line someone draws in the sand That says, "Don't cross over here to me" But boundaries can be gentle Little social reminders Like the way you tap a kitty cat On the nose Don't touch me.
And boundaries can be dark lines That grow deeper with more time Honey, frankly I am not fine With how this story goes - (GASPS) - You're doing it again.
- You're not listening to me.
- SHELLY: Well, you're not listening to me.
- Okay, that's triggering.
- What is this "triggering"? It's when I'm trying to talk about my feelings and you make it about you and I get re-traumatized.
How are you traumatized? By your complete invalidation of our boundaries! - Thank you.
- Of my boundaries! Oh, please.
Fine, I'm never going to say - anything ever again.
- Okay.
- Oh, right.
- I will never have an opinion around any of you ever again.
Happy? Satisfied? - Mom, please.
- (ARI GROANS) All I'm saying is that our parent just died, and we would like you to think before you speak and act respectfully.
That's a lot to ask.
It's my boundary.
You have your baby That fat little flesh pet You breathe your life into Those rolls, those pulkies Inhale every inch, little bitch Still attached to you My beating heart, there you are Driving off in your car Did I say far too much? Much too late probably Please don't go very far I'll always worry, it's what I do best Please don't take that away from me You're still my baby My door's always open You know where I leave the key I can feel all your feelings Even dream all your bad dreams I'm waking up from a 40-year nightmare And guess what I'm feeling, ugh! Your boundary is my trigger Your boundary is my trigger (GROANS) When I was your age, I'd do every chore Anything that she asked me to - To quiet her rage - (HISSING) I was the pillow she screamed every night into So I promised I'd never Do that shit to my daughter I spackled and sanded my anger and sadness To make room for you Now I'm starting to panic (GASPING) I should've breastfed I'm hearing we missed out on magical bonding juice I should've breastfed I'm hearing neglect is far worse for us than abuse - And we all blame the mother - (ARI GROANS) Let's pile on to the mother who gives like a charity Gives like a giving tree Left like a stump in her forest of misery Your boundary is my trigger Your boundary is my trigger If I could I'd shove you back inside me From my belly you'd provide me With a map that you could guide me And you'd pull my cord Like a gentle, soft reminder - As you stretch out my vagina - Okay.
I'm out.
My boundaries stretching wider I would clench my thighs And keep you there forever I don't know boundaries Never knew I should have them So how could I Know yours? Your boundary is my trigger Your boundary is my trigger Your boundary is my trigger (PANTING) JEFF: Any notes? Yeah, actually, I have a couple.
- Do I have to cut bangs? - You know what? Let's take it from the top.
(DOOR CREAKS SHUT) (DISTANT SIREN WAILING) JOSH: What happened to the wood box? They I don't think they can put that in the incinerator.
- This box is so little.
- Oh.
They're gonna burn this? - I think.
Isn't that, like, they ? - (DOOR OPENS) I don't know, actually.
Are they gonna take her out? No, they leave her in.
- SARAH AND ARI: Hi.
- Hi, family.
- My name is Diego.
- Hi.
I'm Ari.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
- Josh.
- Hi.
I'm Sarah.
- Nice nice to meet you.
- DIEGO: You are ready? So, I turn on the machine.
You guys will hear a lot of noise.
I have to open this door to roll in this cardboard.
And we place inside the retort.
- Would you like to help me? - Okay.
Yes, we would like to.
- SARAH: Oh, sure.
Yes.
- We can do it now.
ARI: Okay, right now? - DIEGO: Yes.
Yes.
Now.
- JOSH: Right now? - ARI: Okay, where where do we go with it? - SARAH: Oh, wow.
- Right here.
- Okay.
- DIEGO: Okay.
- (DOOR OPENS) ARI AND SARAH: Oh, my God.
SARAH: I thought that was, like, a closet.
Oh, that's the ? That's it.
That's the thing.
(WHIRRING, CLANKING) ARI: Oh, my God.
(WHIRRING AND CLANKING STOP) DIEGO: To me, a little bit.
(GRUNTING) ARI: Whoa.
(EXHALES) - Oh, my God.
It's warm in there.
- Whoa, don't - No, it's, like, warm.
- ARI: Okay, okay.
ARI: Let's just let's say goodbye.
Okay.
ARI AND SARAH: Bye, Moppa.
SARAH: We love you.
Excuse me, guys.
So, would you like to turn on the switch to continue the process? It's an option we give to the family if the family's going to do it or someone else going to do it.
- We turn on the switch? - ARI: Yeah, I I would.
- SARAH: Uh, we do it? - I want to do it.
- Can I do it? I want to do it.
Please, yes.
- SARAH: Yeah, do it.
- I want to.
Thank you.
- DIEGO: Okay.
Of course.
- Okay.
Come closer.
- Okay.
Turn this on.
(WHIRRING) DIEGO: One more.
- (BUZZING) - (WHOOSHING) DIEGO: And the last one.
- (BUTTON CLICKS) - (HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING) - DIEGO: Thank you very much.
- ARI: Okay.
Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
We're doing the kaddish.
- Oh, my God.
I don't know the Kaddish.
- Okay.
ARI: It doesn't matter.
- SARAH: Goddamn it, why - JOSH: Just read it.
I should have fucking known that we were gonna do this.
ALL: Yitgadal v'yitkadash sh'mei raba.
- B'alma di-v'ra chirutei - (SARAH STOPS READING) v'yamlich malchutei b'chayeichon uvyomeichon uvchayei d'chol beit yisrael, ba'agala uvizman kariv, v'im'ru.
ALL: Amen.
ARI AND JOSH: Y'hei sh'mei raba m'varach l'alam ul'almei almaya.
- (HIGH-PITCHED WHOOSHING, WHIRRING) - Oh.
Yitbarach v'yishtabach v'yitpa'ar v'yitromam v'yitnaseh - (JOSH STAMMERING) - v'yithadar v'yit'aleh v'yit'halal sh'mei d'kud'sha - b'rich hu - (JOSH STOPS READING) l'eila min-kol-birchata v'shirata (JOSH RESUMES READING): tushb'chata v'nechemata da'amiran b'alma, v'im'ru.
ALL: Amen.
Y'hei shlama raba min-sh'maya v'chayim aleinu va'l-kol yisrael, v'im'ru.
Amen.
ARI AND JOSH: Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya'aseh shalom aleinu v'al kol-yisrael, v'imru.
ALL: Amen.
JOSH: Priestess.
(SARAH CHUCKLES) The secret is that the boundaries Stay open, stay open.
Run from the secret.
(BIRDS CAWING) Run from your father's house There's a land that I will show you I will make your name a blessing as you float on out Run from your father's house Run from your father's house There's a lesson I will teach you I will honor all who honor you Curse all who curse you And all of the families of the Earth Shall bless themselves by you Adonai el-Avram Lech-Lecha Meartzecha umimoladtecha Umibeyt avicha El ha-aretz asher arecha Veesecha Umimoladtecha Umibeyt avicha El ha-aretz asher arecha.
And when you get home You won't be alone Run from your father's house Run from your father's house Run from your father's house.
(STATIC CRACKLING) (DISTORTED AUDIENCE LAUGHTER) (AUDIENCE LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) (UPBEAT, JAZZY TUNE PLAYING) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (WHISTLES) What's for dinner? (CHUCKLING): I hope it's not meat loaf again.
What's in your meat loaf anyway? (LAUGHING): What's in my meat loaf? Well JOSH: Come to think of it, Nacho the Turtle has been missing for quite some time.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) Hiya, kids.
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Dad.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Oh, do you mind watching the kids tonight? What's a supporting character for if not to support your character? I wasn't talking to you, Davina.
- I was talking to the TV.
- (LAUGHTER) - TV?! - (CHUCKLES) What are you two lovebirds up to tonight? Lovebirds? Oh, I haven't been in that nest since 1969.
- (LAUGHTER) - Oh, Mort.
SARAH, JOSH AND ARI: Ooh ARI: Dad.
(LAUGHTER) I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that and leave.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) Ali, I want to talk to you in my office, kiddo.
March.
SARAH (VOICE DISTORTING): Oh you're in trouble.
ANNOUNCER: The role of Ari Pfefferman is now being played by Ali Pfefferman.
(SIGHS) Did you die of a broken heart? AVA (AS MAURA): It was broken my whole life.
My grandfather was abusive.
My father ran off.
I never knew how to be the parent you needed.
(TAKES DEEP BREATH) It is so hard when someone sees something you don't want them to see.
You know, it's not too late to finish what you started.
And I tell you what, Grandma Rose always wanted a rabbi in the family.
Run from your father's house (THROUGH STATIC): Run from your father's house.
(STATIC DRONING) ARI: You canceled my bat mitzvah so you could go to some dress-up camp in the woods? ANNOUNCER: This (VOICE DISTORTING) (SOBBING) (GRUNTS) (CRICKETS CHIRPING) (HONKING) - Hi.
- Hi.
Are we the only ones here? - I think so, yeah.
- Mm.
I was able to get ahold of some of her friends at the center.
- Oh, that's good.
- Yeah.
Are your parents still alive? Uh, my mother's alive.
But we don't really talk very much.
Oh.
Sorry.
I think I'm a little - too much for her.
- Mm.
That's too bad.
I've been thinking about how I always I always thought that I was sort of a mess, and then Moppa would be there to save me.
But now I'm starting to wonder if I was a mess so that Moppa could save me.
Does that make sense? Like, that that was the only way she knew how to be a parent? And so, what is it gonna be like now that she's not here? (TAKES DEEP BREATH) Do you know what I believe? I believe that in order to honor someone who passes - Mm-hmm.
- if we let them into our bodies, then they're never really very far away.
- That's nice.
- Yeah.
If we just take a breath (INHALES DEEPLY) and let her in.
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, there she is.
(BOTH LAUGH) I tried to fire the rabbi.
I tried to fire him, but, like, I I just totally couldn't do it, - so just let him do it.
- Sarah.
Come on.
No.
(STAMMERS) He drove all the way from West Covina, and we already paid him, and Oh, come on, that is like 25 minutes.
No, it's rush hour.
It's like an hour and a half.
I came all the way from Israel.
- Just I promise - Israel.
Okay, let's just let it be for today, and then I promise, from now on, you are the family rabbi.
Okay.
- SARAH: Hi.
- DAVINA: Hi.
Um, we just wanted to say, and on behalf of Josh and Shelly and Moppa, that, of course, the house is yours.
- Just Of course.
- Of course.
I mean, we knew that legally, but, like, we know.
It's supposed to be yours.
Just to do whatever you want with.
Okay? Thank you.
(QUIET CHATTER) Thank you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
How are you? I'm good.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
And involved.
I'm seeing someone, so happy.
- That's so good.
- Yeah.
I guess we all just need a person, huh? - Yeah.
- (CHUCKLING) A good, well-rounded person.
Non-selfish asshole, preferably.
(BOTH LAUGH) - Seriously? - Yeah.
- It's so hard.
- Really.
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.
Moshe's here.
Hi.
So nice to see you.
Finally, wow.
My boy, wonderful seeing you.
That's your grandpa.
- (CHUCKLING) - Ooh, hello.
Oh, I'm so glad you made it.
(LAUGHS) - Zacky and Ella.
- Nice to see you.
- Moira Pepperman was born in - Pfefferman.
was-was born in 1945 to Moshe and Rose Pepperman - Pfefferman.
- in the neighborhood, uh the Boyle Heights neighborhood of Los Angeles.
Moira married Shelly Lipkind and had three beautiful children, Sarah, Joshua and Ah-lee.
- SHELLY: Ali.
- JOSH and SARAH: Ari.
M Moi Moira was an esteemed professor and author.
She was a friend, a grandparent, and she loved to travel.
(CHUCKLING): She hated to travel.
RABBI: When Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her, he rose up from the sight of his corpse and talked with the Hittites, saying, "I am a stranger and a foreigner among you.
" Infinite as is thy power, so is thy love.
Thou didst manifest it through Israel thy servant.
By laws and commandments " - When are you singing? - At the end.
Do it now.
- Really? - Yes, please.
Now.
Okay.
RABBI: "Turn us in full repentance unto thee - and teach us to undo " - (WHISPERS): Excuse me, Rabbi.
I'm sorry.
That's that's great.
May I take the end of your speech? - Thank you very much.
Thank you.
- Uh Really.
Let her be okay She flew out of the tree today And let her find her way I've got nothing but time to pray Let me breathe today She flew out of my tree today Let me be okay Can't do anything else but pray Just lift my heart - And settle my head - Lift my heart and my head Give me a sign - Give me a thread - Give me a sign and a thread - Quiet my mind of - Ooh Rewriting the lines I should have said Time to remind me she isn't mine She's moved on ahead - We will be okay - We will be okay We all fall from the tree - Someday - We will be okay Lift our voices up - To pray - We will be okay Help each other along the way And we Will be Okay - Ooh - (SHUDDERING BREATHS) Let us be okay.
(QUIET, INDISTINCT CHATTER) (INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES) SARAH: Oh, my God.
I didn't realize you came.
- Yeah.
- I didn't see you.
Yeah, I didn't want to bother you.
Hi.
All your hair is gone.
- Are you good? - I'm okay.
I almost, like, expect to see some, like, thrupple baby - on your hip.
(LAUGHS) - (LAUGHING): Oh, God.
Yeah, no, I you know, I I took Plan B.
(CHUCKLING): Yeah, I know, but still.
- Yeah.
It was close.
- Would've been so cute.
- Yeah.
- With Len's hair - and your freckles.
- (CHUCKLES) JOSH: Colton? - Hey.
- What are you doing here? Well, we saw the Facebook post.
Josh, we're so sorry.
By the way, this is Cadence.
Cadence, this is Josh, my birth father.
- Oh, hi.
Nice to meet you.
- Good to meet you.
And this here is Braeden.
- Hi.
- CADENCE: Yeah, hold him.
- Grandpa Josh.
- (CHUCKLING) - There you go.
- Hi.
COLTON: Yeah, you're a natural.
Grandpa Moshe, you ever been a great-great-grandfather before? - Do I look that old? - (CADENCE LAUGHS) You know, they say a baby at a shiva is a blessing.
Oh, what's a shiva? Well, well, well.
Little sprout.
- Hi.
- Hey.
How you doing? I, uh I've been laying low.
- We should all lay low.
- Why? The right is puppeteering the left.
They are puppeteering the left.
And then the left eats their own.
We just gobble each other up.
You know, it's the same playbook.
It's over and over and over again.
Fucking scary, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wh what's what the fuck is this? Oh, it was, uh, Tante Gittel's ring.
Berlin? - Yeah.
- Yeah? You shouldn't fucking wear this.
- This is an example - Mm-hmm.
- of what is happening now.
- Yeah, I'll just They're after us.
They're after people like us.
Want to sneak out for some vegan doughnuts? - I can't leave.
- Oh, come on.
- You love vegan donuts.
- I - Yeah, I know you do.
- They're they're all right, but this is, you know, Moppa's shiva, - so I'm gonna stay.
- Yeah.
But there is some there's rugelach.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) - Hey.
- Hey.
Just wanted to offer my condolences.
Thank you.
- Oh.
Hey, Barb.
- Hey.
Hey.
Barb and I are we got we got back together, because we kind of realized being out there without each other is just really is just - It just this feels right.
- It's too rough, right? - Yeah.
No, I get it.
- TAMMY: It's rough.
BARB: Yeah, this feels good.
Yeah, no, I'm I'm with Len, and I I have everything I need, so - You seem happy.
- I'm really happy.
We are, too.
- Yeah.
- SARAH: I mean, not today, but You know what I mean.
Guys, there's a fucking pool out there.
- DAVINA: Mm-hmm.
- Can we go in? Yeah.
Did you grow up in this place? - Yep.
- It's really big.
Was it a happy childhood? ARI: Uh, it made me who I am.
My mom's not here.
She's probably rehearsing her god-awful play about us.
You okay? Okay.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) JEFF: Life rewritten Gripping onto twisted wisdom Hoping all can be forgiven We endeavor To make it through the darkest weather The forest of the cruel together It's worth it for this life Life For this life Mmm.
(GASPING) Oy.
Oy.
So many people.
They spent way too much money on the food.
Did you see the size of that chub that smoked sturgeon? You know, it's all gonna go bad, I promise you.
And they didn't buy enough Sweet'N Low.
- Or mustard.
Mustard and Sweet'N Low.
- It's just a lot of They know that you have to have this A lot of Jewish people doing a lot of Jewish things.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait.
Are you Jewish? - Really? - Shelly.
I didn't know you were Jewish.
Now you're really my favorite person.
- You can't always tell by the nose.
- Listen Can't always tell by the nose.
Can't.
Born and raised, but fled the shtetl, we'll say.
It just didn't work out, so You know, I found other things.
Like, I'm sort of this Buddhist, Catholic, I don't know, Wiccan spiritual mutt.
- It works.
- Wiccan that's like a witch, right? - Yeah, I'm kind of a witch.
- (SHELLY GASPS) A Jewish witch.
- I'm a Jewish witch.
- Who knew? I like that.
Thanks.
Hey.
(GASPS, SIGHS) You look so much like her.
I always felt that she was my bashert.
You know what that means 'cause you're Jewish.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She was my my meant-to-be.
Your soul mate.
- Soul mate.
- Meant-to-be.
And now that she's gone, I I guess there'll always be a part of me that wonders if she felt the same way.
You were different, you were funny, you were real And your love was a wave That swept me far from myself Now you're asking quite a question So I hesitantly reveal I knew that it had to be you And your shoes My shoes? - Let me finish.
- (CHUCKLES) You're a narrow size six And your taste is beautifully bland Your extensive color palette - Is brown, beige and tan - Brown, beige and tan Always comfort over fashion So effortlessly planned Oh, I knew that it had to be you And I prayed for a way for this longing to lessen Then came tiny Shelly - Sent from miniature heaven - (LAUGHING) Your shoes were my clear sign I could end my obsession I could never make them work 'Cause my feet would fucking hurt (LAUGHING) You were loyal You were loving, you were mine And I was who I am with you For most of the time When I wasn't, I was grateful That you turned a blind eye It was more than your shoes It was you It was you It was You.
You were a wonderful partner - and an even better parent.
- (SHELLY SIGHS) Forgive yourself, Shelly.
JOSH: Oh, my God.
I can't believe all these people are still here.
This shiva is endless.
Are we really supposed to do six more days of this? I slept with, like, half the women upstairs.
(ARI CHUCKLES) Or, like, I want to.
No, you slept with more than half.
Is it weird that death makes you horny? - No.
- Oh, there you are.
I couldn't find you.
- We we're right here.
- Just chilling out.
ARI: (GROANS) It's so weird up there.
- JOSH: Oh, my God, it's so weird.
- (SIGHS) You know where my kids think Maura went? - Hmm? - They think she's in the Holocaust.
Ella asked me if she went to the Holocaust.
'Cause that's what they think death is.
That's kind of what I think death is.
SHELLY: You know what I think sometimes? That we need an equal and opposite reaction to the Holocaust.
Not to forget it, but to get over the Holocaust.
What I'm sorry could possibly be an equal and opposite reaction to the Holocaust? Six million people feeling joy all at the same time.
JOSH: But for, like, 12 years straight.
- It wasn't 12 years.
- It was 12 years, from the beginning to the end.
- (ARI SIGHS) - Jesus Christ.
I'm canceling my play.
JOSH: What? It's not important.
You are.
You are not replaceable.
Maura is not replaceable.
My poor, sweet babies.
You lost her.
I didn't hold her.
I didn't hold you.
I just held on to you.
There's a difference.
(SUPPRESSED SOBBING) (SARAH SOBBING) It's okay.
You want to know something crazy? Today, to the day, is the anniversary of Ari's - canceled bat mitzvah.
- (ARI LAUGHS) (SNIFFLES) I even remember my Torah portion.
(SARAH LAUGHS) Vayomer Adonai El-Avram Lech-Lecha - Hold on.
- SARAH: Wait.
Don't let anybody leave.
Hi.
(SIGHS) How was the funeral? (JOSH SIGHS) It was awful.
Uh, you were greatly missed.
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry to bust up in here like this.
I'm sorry that I couldn't be there.
- I hope you understand.
- Oh, of course.
- Yeah.
- Of course.
Absolutely.
- I get it.
- Okay.
Yeah.
Grief is like the ocean.
It comes in waves.
And like the ocean, you never want to turn your back on it.
I know it hurts.
And I know it's hard.
But you have to face it.
- I have.
- Okay.
- So - It's made me realize how I haven't been there for for my people.
For the people I love.
And it's making me realize I want to, you know, show up.
So I was thinking that I could maybe throw Ari a surprise bat bar bart mitzvah, and I I need a Torah.
Today? - Yes, I know.
- Okay.
You're sitting shiva.
This would be the worst time - to throw a bart mitzvah.
- (CHUCKLES) That would be absolutely crazy.
Yes, and we got all the old people there.
- They're all dressed up.
- Josh Pfefferman! And we have the chairs and the tables.
And it's Lech-Lecha.
What are the odds? It's, like, now or never.
- (LAUGHING): This is crazy.
- I know.
I know.
It's insane.
It's insane.
(SIGHS): God.
All right, come on.
- Oh, you people.
- Yeah? Okay.
And so it goes And here we are After all of these years Searching for a warranty And we the offspring Springing off their king-size bed They never even heard what the rabbi said Something like a vow on the day they wed To keep us warm and laughing And all well fed Well, that was them While they lasted But what went wrong? What has time made? What the hell? All I know is I am them I am homemade And crazy people like you Pick crazy people like me And crazy people like you Pick crazy people like me BOTH: And crazy people like me Pick crazy people like you To hang around so I I can go crazy And now it goes In different clothes After all of these years I hope it doesn't mean I'm lazy But if it does, my love, my God Here's the prose Promise never to believe in the right or wrong Promise that you will believe in this kind of song And if you don't intend to sing along Say the words till they're easy Sing them louder, was that easy? All the rest is in the silence In the temple when we find it And crazy people like you Pick crazy people like me And crazy people like you Pick crazy people like me And crazy people like me Pick crazy people like you To hang around so I I can go crazy Hang around Hang around Hang around Let's go crazy Let's go crazy Let's go crazy Crazy, crazy, crazy Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy Crazy, crazy, crazy - Let's go crazy.
- (LAUGHTER) (QUIET, INDISTINCT CHATTER) ARI: Oh, my God.
- Hi.
Hi.
- (LAUGHING): Hi.
- Thank you.
- SHELLY (LAUGHING): Oh.
Shelly.
Shelly.
Aw (LAUGHING): Here we go.
TAMMY: You know what, Josh? You need to stop.
You need to stop.
Let me go around.
- Why do I need to stop? - You need to let me go around.
We're just moving tables.
That's all we're doing.
No, stop there.
Stop so that I can get around.
JOSH: Why does that one have to go first? - This can be the Torah table.
- 'Cause Moppa liked the white in the middle and the colors on the end.
- Let's move this back a little.
- Oh, that's perfect.
- What was in that? Old books? - Where did you find that? - You have an ark in your home.
- We have an ark.
We have an ark.
This is Maura's tallit.
- Baruch atah Adonai.
- Baruch atah Adonai.
Eloheinu melech haolam (VOICE FADES) SHELLY: Up.
Amen Vayomer Adonai El-Avram Lech-Lecha Run from your father's house There's a land that I will show you I will honor all who honor you Curse all who curse you And all of the families of the Earth Shall bless themselves by you And when you get home You won't be alone I promise to not look away And when we get home We won't be alone Run from your father's house Run from your father's house Mishpechot haadama.
(TAKES DEEP BREATH) - (OTHERS JOIN IN APPLAUSE) - WOMAN: Oh, oh, Shelly.
RAQUEL: No.
Shelly.
No, Shelly, don't - SHELLY: So good.
- Shelly.
Wonderful.
You're wonderful.
(WHISPERS): Shelly, we don't clap after a after a Torah reading.
I'm I'm sorry, what? We don't clap after a Torah reading.
We say, "Yasher koach.
" There are a lot of rules about what we do when the Torah is out.
Oh.
(INDISTINCT WHISPERING) - Okay.
- SHELLY: This is not okay.
RAQUEL: Now we are gonna dress the Torah, and we'll say a couple of prayers.
SHELLY: That's too many rules.
So many rules.
It's so terrible.
It's, like, it's okay, but it's fear and self-loathing.
- Okay.
- Everyone feeling like they're in trouble all the time, and the next thing you know We Jews Got a painful history That we choose To convey in minor keys - And we say never to forget the pain - Ah Never to forget the shame So our songs, they always sound The same - Oh, my God.
- Now I admit I like a nice yidle dydle day Yidle dydle day Might I submit There's gotta be a better way - Better way - Even when we pray We're standing up and then we're sitting down This meshugana moving around Well, it's trapped in our DNA Poor Jews Listen to me I know what we yidle dydle dydle dydle need We need a Joy-A-Caust For all the lives we've lost This pain in all of us Remains at quite a cost Six million ain't no joke We win for losing folk Need a celebration of the soul For this extermination Super Bowl Help me out now! Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Don't worry, we will never forget Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Shake your tushies till you shvitz and sweat Take the concentration out of the camps Concentratin' on some song and dance Even start a new romance Or give a schmuck a second chance They nailed Jesus to the cross Sure, that's one tragic loss And he died for a lotta y'all's sins But they tattooed numbers on our skins Help me out now! Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Hell yes, we crossed the line Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust That's why we're feelin' fine Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Survive and put on a show Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Now joy is all we know Yeah - Jews got a painful history - I ain't replacing history - Just erasing the misery - A painful history - Drowning out a little anxiety - A painful history Peppin' up my yidle dydle dee Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Rising up from the mishi-mishi-mishigas Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Heal this wound in all of us We're gonna tear it down We're gonna build it right up again And we promise to not look away Yeah - Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust - Joy-A-Caust, hey - Come on, come on, come on, yeah - Somebody sing Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Fuck yeah, we're crossing the line, yeah - Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust - J-J-J-J-Joy We're feeling fine (ALL BREATHING RHYTHMICALLY) Joy-A-Caust - Mmm - Joy-A-Caust - Joy, joy, joy - Breathe in all of the pain Ah, ah, ah - Caust, caust, caust - Let it pump through our veins Joy-A-Caust - And when we get home - Joy-A-Caust - We won't be alone - Joy-A-Caust - And we promise to not look away - Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Hell yeah, we will never forget - (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Shake your tushies till you shvitz and sweat Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Survive and put on a show Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Hey, y'all, I have, uh, barbecue.
(EXCITED CHATTER) - Hi, guys.
- Hey.
Got the challah.
- Oh, good! - Take this.
Take this.
(PRAYING IN HEBREW) Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust - Now joy is all we know - Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust Joy-A-Caust!