Xena: Warrior Princess s05e01 Episode Script

-Move and you die, roman! -I'm not a roman! Yeah, I guess you're not.
You an amazon? Yeah.
Then you know Xena and Gabrielle! Who wants to know? I'm their best friend.
My name's Joxer.
I I've been having nightmares that they're in some kind of trouble so I thought I'd better see if they needed my help.
-They're not in trouble anymore.
-Then you've seen them? Where are they? You loved them very much, didn't you, Joxer? -Who are you? -My name is Eli.
I loved them as well.
I I'm gonna I'm gonna take their bodies back to Greece because I I know Xena wanted to be buried next to her brother and Gabrielle next to her.
That could be a little difficult.
The romans wanna keep them there as an exemple.
Well, I'm gonna bring their bodies back to Greece.
You can help me or not.
It's ok.
Xena! They're coming! Xena! No! Xena! Gabrielle! Come on! Xena! I promised to deliver you to my lord and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
In the time of ancient gods, warlords and kings a land in turmoil cried out for a hero.
She was Xena.
A mighty princess forged in the heat of battle.
The power The passion The danger Her courage will change the world.
XENA, THE WARRIOR PRINCESS Pretty Xena You made it.
-I'm so sorry I lost you -Where is Gabrielle? One of the demons escaped with her soul.
My name is Michael.
He's an archangel.
Lief and I are guardian angels.
Some guardian I turned out to be We have to get her back! Back? Back from where? Your friend has been taken to Hell.
Michael! How can a soul like Gabrielle's end up in Hell? There's a war going on between good and evil not only on Earth, but here in eternity as well.
Once there were only angels and then one of our number rebelled and he and his allies were thrown down from Heaven.
They have never given up the desire to recapture Paradise and twist it into their image.
She has to be rescued! -That's the responsibility of the archangels.
-No, it's my responsibility.
Yours? You're not even an angel.
You're to be reborn in a new body.
Well, that's gonna have to wait.
Right now I'm going after my friend.
That's impossible! No, it's not! No, it's not! Don't! Are you insane? It depends who you talk to.
If you go down to Hell voluntarily you'll be doomed to everlasting suffering.
Gripped with an unbearable thirst and hunger you'll be tempted to eat the fruit of Hell.
And when you do that you're well on your way to becoming one of them.
Gabrielle and I have already been through hell together.
I didn't come all this way to lose her now.
So either you set me up with a pair of wings or I take another dive.
Michael, Gabrielle's soul and mine were destined to be together.
I can't let her walk through Hell alone.
Please Xena? Morning, honey.
Aren't you the lucky girl? You get to spend eternity with me.
Let me confess something.
I'm gonna enjoy tormenting you.
I'm sure the powers that be will try to rob me of my joy.
That's always the catch down here.
Xena will not leave me down here with you.
You have such faith How cute.
Of course they'll try to rescue you and Xena will make some self-sacrificing gesture.
But fear not We'll be realdy for them.
Eat up, my little dumpling! You must be famished! Dying makes one so very hungry! You want me to eat the fruit Yes.
That would make me like you Not a chance.
But you will eat it.
Believe me.
Hey We need your help if we're gonna do this.
All right.
Ok! If you are to enter the ranks of the archangels you must walk through this cave.
What's in there? A choice.
I'm concerned.
Xena should have been out by now.
Well, we can't wait.
We should go now! Her friend doesn't have much time before she becomes one of them.
You've walked through the fire of purification.
Now as the divine water sanctifies your existence your cleansing is complete.
Xena They say the dead can hear the thoughts of the living, so hear this I'm picking up where you left off.
I may never be as good a warrior as you and I know I'll never be as wise but I promise with all my heart and soul to honor the memory of the Warrior Princess.
She would have liked that.
Yes.
What do you know about it, peacelover? What? You got them killed.
You infected Gabrielle with your peace and love talk.
You made her helpless! She never would have gotten captured if she hadn't lost her warrior spirit.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
It's not a feeling.
It's a fact.
You slowed them down just enough to kill them.
You might as well have driven in the nails yourself.
-Enough! -All right, Joxer.
It's all right.
I don't see why I can't come.
You think you'd want as much help as you could get.
You know I used to be a pretty good fighter on Earth.
It's not just the fighting.
Hell itself would overwhelm you.
That's something you need to be careful about too.
I've dealt with evil before.
But now you're an angel purified and full of compassion.
The suffering you see in Hell will break your heart.
You might be tempted to save Gabrielle from her pain.
-And that's a bad thing? -Xena, listen There's only one way to do that.
You would have to take on her guilt and free her from her suffering by giving her your light.
Which would release her from Hell but would doom you to stay there for eternity.
But remember, we can save her If we get her out of there before she becomes a full demon.
There should be no need for you to sacrifice yourself.
I'm ready.
My Aren't you the brave one? Eat! Eat! Eat! Isn't this so much fun? Callisto When Xena burned your family did you see them on fire? Did you Did you smell their flesh sizzling? You know what I think? You wanted them to die so you'd have a reason to be a bitch.
Michael, get Gabrielle outta here! I will never stop hating you, Xena, do you hear me? Never! You killed my family! My soul! My reason to live and love! And I will spend eternity seeking revenge! No.
She made it.
Where's Xena? Xena gave herself up to save one of the damned.
What are you talking about? Who did she save? When you're dry and rested, then you'll be shown.
It's time for us to launch a full-scale attack.
These hit-and-miss conflicts have done you no good.
Why should we suffer? We didn't ask to be created.
And Heaven should belong to those of us strong enough to take it! Why are we grovelling down here in the slime while they live up there in purity and grace? Someone up there decided that we were evil.
Well, we're not going to take that! It's time for us to do the judging! Paradise will be ours! Are you telling me that Xena is in Hell and she's in Paradise? Gabrielle? -I know you.
-Oh, you know me You murdered my husband and many innocent people.
No.
No, I would never do something like that.
Would I? Would I? I'm sorry.
I don't remember.
You stay away from me.
This is insane.
You call this justice? Xena called it justice.
She chose to suffer in Callisto's place.
When you look at her now what you see is what she would have become if Xena had not killed her family.
Right now, we have something far more important to worry about.
What's that? Xena is a demon.
Even before she had wings she may have been a match for me.
Now the balance may have shifted.
How do you mean? The next time the demons attack we may not be able to stop them.
She looks like she's sleeping.
It's like at any minute she's gonna wake up, and complain about how no one ever lets you sleep in.
We should bury them here.
We're not gonna make it to Greece, huh? With so many romans around I think it's gonna get us killed.
Ok.
Ok, we'll bury them here.
What about Eli? You really think he's gonna come back? I know Xena.
More importantly, she knows me.
Look, I guarantee you when the fighting starts, she'll come after me.
She'll insist that I'm either with her or against her.
Maybe I can lure her into a situation that could be useful to you.
You understand there's no saving Xena.
The only way to stop her is to cut her up and let her spend the rest of eternity in pieces.
If that's what it takes If you're to get your wings you'll have to undergo a trial of purification.
All right.
What are you doing here? Michael told me to wait till you came.
Am I supposed to fight you? I'm not a very good fighter but if it makes you feel better Your sweetness act is disgusting.
I'm not buying it! I don't blame you.
I did a terrible thing.
I killed someone you loved.
I must have been very evil.
I don't understand it myself.
Why would Xena do something like that for me? Maybe it was a guilty conscience -about your family.
-My family? My family You know Michael told me I would never know love like the love of Heaven but he's wrong.
My family gave me that kind of love all the time.
My memory of so much of my life is confused and fuzzy but that part I remember every detail.
And Michael says when I'm ready I go to see 'em again.
Callisto, I am not buying it! Callisto, stop it! I know you are in there.
You are evil to the core, and you always will be.
Don't touch me! I'm so sorry I am, too.
Your forgiveness of Callisto has made your soul as pure as this water.
Gabrielle, you truly are a beautiful spirit.
We know you'll do honor to these wings.
They're coming.
Gabrielle? We shouldn't be fighting.
You're right, Xena.
I wanna spend eternity with you.
Won't you join me? Lay down your sword, Xena.
If Callisto can be redeemed, why not you? Callisto's a trick! They deceive you, Gabrielle.
Callisto can't change.
You know that.
Our master is greatly pleased when a soul joins him of its own free will Come with me now.
Whaddya say? I can't.
Why not? Gabrielle, the love that we have, it's stronger than Heaven or Hell.
It transcends good or evil.
It's an end in itself! Our souls are destined to be together.
Gabrielle, you can't let me walk through Hell alone.
I'm sorry.
I'll draw Xena off! Right! Gabrielle! I can smell you! Trust me, Gabrielle There's fun to be had down there.
My friends are dead because of my teachings! The way of love It wasn't the way for Gabrielle.
I was too proud to see that.
What good is this gift if I can't at least protect the ones I love? Why did you even give this to me? What am I supposed to do? You show me! What am I supposed to do? Eli Love is the way.
Go to them.
No! Xena, don't! -Gabrielle! -Michael! Oh, no! We're going to Hell! I think it's time.
What for? To meet your family.
We're going to be together for eternity.
Yeah.