Ackley Bridge (2017) s05e02 Episode Script

1
I think we should do it.
Do what?
Don't you want to?
Yeah.
Course I want to.
Just not in a bunk bed
in my headmaster's house.
We could go to yours.
Forget I said anything.
Hey.
Look,
I'll sort something, all right?
I was 16.
It was the summer of GCSEs.
Her name was Katie Mathieson.
And we had a party at my
mate Johnny Bushell's house.
And, yeah, me and her just
stayed up all night talking
and playing records.
I always remember because she was,
massively obsessed with
Suede and I hated them.
I don't know, in that moment,
they sounded OK.
You're round there all the time.
Revising. Thanks.
And the rest?
Why can't she just come here?
To this place?
Be real.
Oh, so, your gorja princess
can't step foot in this dump,
but you're happy for
your sister to live here?
Can you give me a break, Queenie?
Bit rich, seeing as we
only actually left the site
so you two could be together.
And whose fault is that? Eh?
If they'd have actually accepted her,
we could have stayed.
They didn't.
I've got a job interview!
When is it? When is it?
Next week!
See I told you you'd
get one. Didn't I say?
I applied for so many, I'd given up.
Right, well, I need to prepare.
I'm gonna need a new outfit.
Mum, no.
No, no, we said no more
buying clothes, remember?
I know, but I need to feel my best.
I'll sort your hair out, if you like?
And your brows. Honestly,
Mum, it's not 1995.
Marina.
She could make more of herself.
Right, well I think I'll stick
to the '90s. Thanks, love.
They're not gonna hire me if I
turn up looking like Kim Kardashian,
- are they?
- Can you imagine?
I can't believe it. Right, OK.
- So, grey dress?
-
Yes. It's very nice. Very nice.
With, like, a jacket.
Oh, my God! Stop grinning like that!
You look like a freak.
Sex.
STDs, contraception.
Porn.
We can't educate young people about sex
without addressing the
attitudes it fosters.
Bloody obsessed with the porn.
Quite right, Miss Farooqi.
Ms.
Mrs Paracha will be leading the
RSE session for year 11 on PSHE day.
So, please do share any
suggestions you may have with her.
Sports.
It's been a long time
since we've won anything.
True dat.
What? It's been a tough year innit?
Fret not, Hassan, for
"I have a cunning plan."
Let's revive the girls' rugby team.
Girls rugby? Again?
Why not?
Hijabi wearing sportswomen
always make for great PR,
be it the lady boxers of Bradford
or those little cricketing girls.
Vital, of course, that we're
culturally sensitive in our approach,
which is why I've appointed
Miss Farooqi as co-coach.
Oh, OK. We'll make a great team.
I didn't know you were
having a staff briefing, Ken.
Everyone else knew, Martin.
Have a great day, everyone.
And remember, inspire, ignite.
- Excite.
- Excite.
Yes.
That's for you.
Oh, oh, well.
Well, I were 19, hmm.
It were my wedding night.
I were nervous.
I were very nervous.
And, and then,
well, you know.
You know.
Why you want to know this?
It's none of your bloody business!
Friday night?
Right, where? Tell me everything.
He says he wants to surprise me.
What about what you want?
He wants it to be special.
Oh, right.
You get special and I get
a quickie in the music room?
I'm joking.
It don't bother you, does it?
Course not.
It was ages ago.
You are bothered.
It's not just you.
Right, he's been with loads of girls.
What if I'm rubbish?
No-one's rubbish at sex, OK? All right?
It's just chemistry between two people.
And you two have got it in spades.
Right, just be yourself.
Be confident.
OK.
All right, Boyband.
All right.
What are you two talking about?
- Periods.
- Periods.
Nice.
We all here today to talk
about this business.
Anyone got any question?
No, I didn't think so.
Everyone gone shy.
No-one want to talk about it.
That's why I brought this box.
You all write down your
question and put it in here.
Go.
Very good.
Thank you.
Not you.
Very good.
Great.
Anything?
OK.
Right.
It's a lucky dip, eh?
"I want to have sex with my boyfriend
but I worry I'm no good."
Beti.
Just forget it.
Save it for your wedding night?
Next.
"Is it OK to watch porno?"
No. No, never.
It's not real anyway.
It's not.
Drink a glass of water and
watch the Blue Peter instead.
It's not funny.
I got you somert.
Nothing fancy, just from market.
Wow.
Do you like it?
Yeah. Yeah, love it.
Thank you.
I thought they'd help
you feel more confident.
Can't have you rocking up
in raggedy old period pants?
Yeah, what am I?
You're a bad, bad boy.
Yes, I am.
Say it again.
Ready?
If it's Chunky Chicken, you're dead.
Johnny
Do you not like it?
it's perfect.
Johnny, you can't afford this.
Yeah, I can.
I don't know what half this stuff is.
Do you need any help with the menu?
Why would we need any help?
What's the "ke-vitch"?
Ceviche.
Raw seafood, marinaded in lemon juice.
Ugh. No thanks.
We do have a children's menu if
madam would prefer to see that.
I'll just have a burger, thanks.
Will sir be having the burger too?
I'll have the cervix.
Thank you.
One burger
and one ceviche.
Oh, my God.
This is literally the best burger ever.
How's yours?
Nice.
Babe. Have some of mine, it's huge.
No.
But you only ordered
that to make a point.
Send it back if you don't like it.
It's fine.
Is everything all right, sir?
Delicious.
Did you have to be so rude?
He were rude.
You didn't have to threaten
to pour custard on his head.
Crème anglaise, actually.
Come on.
Should be somewhere round here.
"Peony Lodge Hotel".
Is that it?
Hello.
Why would they call it a
hotel if it ain't a hotel?
It doesn't matter.
We're here now.
That's all that counts.
Just be confident.
Don't you like it?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You're a bad, bad boy.
Eh?
Just something I saw on the
internet, thought you'd like it.
Let's just do it. Yeah.
Maybe
give it a few minutes.
Forget it.
Look, I I ain't a performing monkey.
Kayla, you're not going?
Kayla.
Teacher training college.
Desperate to sample all that
the adult world had to offer.
Set my sights on Colin.
Geography.
Quick fish supper then back to
his to look at his ammonites.
There was more life in the battered cod.
Still, I was glad to have
got it over and done with.
And I think in that moment, I proved
I had real leadership qualities.
Brilliant.
You're gonna smash it.
Seriously.
Well
Thanks for the tuition,
Mr Evershed.
Oi. You never replied to my texts.
You must've been busy.
Why do you have to cheapen everything?
Good weekend?
I'm still unpacking.
Just you on your own then, yeah?
Yes, I'm completely self-sufficient.
Imagine that.
Ah, there's my rugby dream team.
A quick pic for the school newsletter.
That's it, smile, look
like you know each other.
Not you, love.
Say paneer.
Perfect.
That what you treated
Kayla to the other night?
No wonder she's got a face like thunder.
What's she told you?
Nothing. In true Kayla style.
She won't talk to me.
It's what she does.
She goes into herself when
something's bothering her.
Then one day, she emerges,
all fine again and
you're none the wiser.
Fizza.
Don't forget to sign
up for rugby trials.
Miss, do you really want me to be
Yes. Well, you said you would,
so you have to keep your promise.
Right. You're gonna regret it.
Proper loves herself, don't she?
Everyone loves Fizza.
Why aren't you sat with 'em?
You wouldn't understand.
'Cos I'm such a bitch?
I heard Mum slagging me.
She didn't mean it.
Don't care.
I am a bitch.
Least you know I'll be honest.
Promise you won't laugh?
I'm sorry, it's just
I know. What a joke.
He'll be feeling as bad as you are.
Nah, he's gone off me.
You're not the only person
who feels insecure, Kayla.
You always do this.
It's like when we were little
and you sulked for a week.
And it turned out you were sad
'cos you weren't blonde like me.
I were just as jealous of you, you know.
Why?
God knows.
Your hair's a state.
And you dress like you
shop at a jumble sale.
Marina.
There you are.
I've just signed you
up to the rugby trial.
I don't think so.
I think you'll find that "committing
yourself to school projects"
was a condition of you
avoiding permanent exclusion.
I'll do it with you.
Thank you very much.
Not bad, girls, good effort.
Where's your killer instinct?
20 press ups, now!
I was captain of the lacrosse team.
Hey. Nice costume.
Never seen a
a kangaroo with a shell before?
I'm the Mascot.
It's an armadillo.
Right.
That was quite a session
from your mum last week.
I know she's raised you right.
Sometimes being a man is more
complicated than mums understand.
But we live in a society that
doesn't always respect women.
Young boys like you,
you get mixed messages.
But we have to be respectful.
Sex is a wonderful thing.
Can I go?
But it has to be consensual.
And
safe.
Take them.
Oi.
Make an effort.
Wow. She's good.
Nice work, Marina.
If you need more,
or if there's anything else
you want to talk about
No.
Hey, there's a drop-in centre in town.
It's free.
Armadillo.
Go and talk to him.
Oh, my God! Kayla, you OK?
You OK?
Give her space, come on.
I'm all right now, if you wanna go.
Why'd I go?
'Cos you don't wanna be with me.
You're the one that stormed off.
'Cos you don't fancy me.
Why would you say that?
'Cos of the other night?
It were the pressure,
all right, that that's all.
It were your first time.
How do you think I felt?
You've been with loads of girls.
None of them mattered.
No.
This were different.
How could you think I don't like you?
I've left my family for you.
I moved into a damp house
away from everyone I know.
I'm sorry.
You know, I
I'd live in a bin if it
meant we could be together.
Don't doubt my love for you,
yeah?
You and me.
We're for keeps.
16,
muddy,
sweaty PE kit,
my oldest grey undies.
And it was
amazing.
Hey.
Hi.
I got the job.
Mum!
Yeah.
Oh, well done.
Thank you!
Mm.
What flavour are these?
You're very cock-a-hoop.
I'll just peel these potatoes.
Are you and Johnny having sex?
Yeah.
Are you being careful?
Yeah.
- By which I mean condoms.
- Yes, Mum.
OK.
'Cos it's not just getting
pregnant you need to worry about,
it's the STDS.
I know.
And?
Is it all right?
Good.
Listen,
I was gonna tell you and
Marina together but
I actually got offered a
different job than the one I went for.
Higher grade, better pay.
That's amazing!
In their Head office.
In Glasgow.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
We're gonna have to leave Ackley.