Angel s05e02 Episode Script

[Man.]
Previously on Angel.
Who are you? [Woman.]
This is to confirm that you have been rescued by Angel C.
E.
O.
And president of Wolfram and Hart.
- You run a law firm? - Well, just lately.
- Why on earth are we here? - What, because we're crusaders against evil and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its L.
A.
Branch to run however we want? We're turnin' this place inside out.
Yes, it's perfect.
It's the project you've been waiting for.
Yeah, it's Joanie Loves Chachi meets The Sorrow And The Pity.
- Harmony.
- Hey, boss.
- You're my secretary? - [Fred.]
Have you seen my lab? It's giganamous.
And I'm in charge.
I'm just wondering if you're ready for the next step.
You don't know me, or you wouldn't ask that question.
[Eve.]
Charles agreed to let us enhance his mind with a comprehensive knowledge of the law.
We're gonna change things.
We came to Wolfram and Hart because it's a powerful weapon.
We'll deal with whatever comes next.
[Screaming.]
Spike.
Spike.
- Go on, then.
- No, you've done enough.
You could still No.
You've beaten 'em back.
It's for me to do the cleanup.
- Spike.
- I mean it.
I gotta do this.
Now, go.
I want to see how it ends.
[Laughing.]
[Gasps.]
What? What? What the hell are you doing here, Spike? - Harmony, please.
- [Gunn.]
This is Spike? - The Spike? - Wait a minute, who's Easy, slim, easy.
No one's gonna hurt you.
Speak for yourself, Green Jeans.
- Would somebody please tell me - William the Bloody, a vampire.
One of the worst recorded.
Second only to Me.
But you're dead.
Well, yeah.
Who here isn't? Besides him and him and her and What are you again? Bugger.
What What's happened to me? Well, I'm no doctor, but I think you're a ghost.
I'm no I'm no bloody ghost.
Hey, you're the one sticking out of a desk, pal.
And you can't talk to me like that.
We're not going out anymore.
Where'd he come from? - From this.
- [Fred.]
What is it? - Somethin' I gave to Buffy before - Buffy? Is she She's okay.
Where? Where is she? Europe, last I heard from her.
I want to see her, talk to her.
That's gonna be tough.
- You can't keep her from me.
- She's not mine to keep or yours.
Says you? You got no idea what we had.
- You never had her.
- More than you, you poncey Oh, my God.
! You and the Slayer actually I mean, I know you had that twisted obsession with her, but Ugh! That's just Ugh! L Ugh! I must be in hell.
Uh, no, L.
A.
But a lot of people make that mistake.
So Spike and Buffy He was, um, an ally of hers for some time.
At least that's what Angel told me.
That's all Angel told me.
So he's a good guy vampire like Angel? He's nothing like me.
Got that right.
What have you done to me? What is this place? Who are you people? What the bloody hell is happening? - Honey of a story.
- Story? Yeah.
The Vampire Slayer both men loved, both men lost.
Oh, I could sell that to any studio in a heartbeat.
L I see Depp and Bloom.
But then, I see them a lot.
Sorry.
Hazard of running the Entertainment Division.
Gotta get out more.
So what are you, then? Scanner girl? I'm Fred.
I head up Wolfram and Hart's Science Department.
Wolfram and Hart? Heard of that.
Thought it was a law firm.
It is, among other things.
Also heard they represent the worst evil in the universe.
It did, among other things.
But now I'm in charge.
- Are you, now? - [Fred.]
Weird.
I'm getting electromagnetic readings consistent with spiritual entities but there's no ectoplasmic matrix.
- Meaning? - Ectoplasm is what makes ghosts visible to the human eye.
If he's a ghost, technically we shouldn't be able to see him.
And I'm detecting brain wave activity.
On Spike? Huh.
That is weird.
Also, ghosts generally absorb light and heat energy making the area around them a few degrees cooler.
Spike's radiating heat.
Think I'm hot, do you? Hmm.
Lukewarm.
Just above room temperature.
Well, what the hell am I then? Whatever he is, it's clearly tied to this amulet.
Spike's essence, for lack of a better term must've been held within it.
Do you have any memory of a strange sensation when it released its energy? What, you mean my skin and muscle burning away from the bone? Organs exploding in my chest? Eyeballs melting in their sockets? No.
No memory at all.
Thanks for asking.
[Angel.]
Okay, he's connected to the amulet.
Last I heard, it was buried deep inside of the Hellmouth.
How did it end up here? Maybe he's here for a reason.
You know, some higher purpose or something he's destined for sent to us by the Powers That Be to help us or Who gave them the bloody right to do that? [Scoffs.]
Can't a man die in peace without some high almighty deciding it's not his time? Let's have a little more fun with him, eh? You'd think that saving the soddin'world would be enough to earn me a rest.
- You'd think.
- Spike Hmm? Oh, balls.
- Now what? - I don't know.
He just What did he mean, saving the world? Oh, that? Well [Scoffs.]
Buffy did most of the work.
Well, he helped, but Hmm? What? What? - Took the whats right out of our mouths.
- Where'd you go? - Don't you know? - I'm I was You.
This is your fault.
- Mine? - You brought that bloody amulet to Sunnydale.
You would have been the one to use it, until you chickened out.
- What did you - You heard me.
You left town in the nick of time, before the death and mayhem.
Abandoned the woman you claimed to love.
She made the call.
It wasn't my choice.
And this bloody hell wasn't mine.
I'm not you.
I don't give a piss about atonement or destiny.
Just because I've got me a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself be led around - Excuse me? - Did Did you just say Spike has a soul? You never said.
- Didn't seem worth mentioning.
- Seems to be a lot of that.
Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special.
Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club.
Another vampire with a soul in the world.
You're not in the world, Casper.
Runnin' away again? Nice new M.
O.
I can see why heroes like you get rewarded with the shiny new glass and chrome.
- Why didn't I think of that? - I'm not responsible for what happened to you.
Angel, it's almost 3:00.
You have a meeting - Not now, Harmony.
- And here, you've even managed to get my ex-tumble the littlest vampire, fetching coffee for you.
- Nice perks for the sellout.
- A little tip, Spike.
Try not to talk about things you don't understand.
I'm not the prat here.
I know you, Angel.
What do you think you're doing? You made some devil's bargain to take over this company.
Thought you'd use it to fight the evil of the world from inside the belly of the beast.
Trouble is, you're too busy fighting to see you and yours are getting digested.
- Not gonna happen.
- What, you think you're in control here? Guess again, mate.
You're no more in control than I am.
Except I'm not gonna bloody stand for it, while you're just a blind - Grox'lar beast.
- What? [Growls.]
Oh, brilliant.
[Bones Cracking.]
[Exhales.]
Okay.
Somebody wanna tell me how a Grox'lar beast got past Security? - I don't have time for this.
- [Spike.]
Of course not.
Man's gotta stay focused on profit margins and power lunches.
- Angel - Yeah, Spike, I've got a business to run.
That means responsibilities, appointments to keep - That was your 3:00.
- That I'm meeting with Grox'lars? They eat babies.
Just their heads.
You were supposed to open negotiations with his clan.
- Negotiations for what? - Get 'em to stop eating baby heads.
Oh, so that's good.
Oh, so this this is bad.
No, actually the Grox'lar clan respects someone who takes a strong opening position.
Wolfram and Hart didn't just jack me up here with the human laws.
Also demon laws from every dimension.
Probably should've briefed you about the Grox'lar but we got a little sidetracked.
Plus, I've been implementing our reforms, mostly staff overhaul.
I fired 40 employees in the past two days.
- How's that goin'? - As expected.
Anger, tears, venomous death threats.
Listen, I know I was a little crabby before.
I mean, hello.
A little awkward seeing you at my work.
But if if you want to talk or something, you know, about us or Okay, too soon.
I understand.
Slayer-loving freak.
Caught an associate we laid off tryin' to smuggle this out of the Voodoo Division.
It's a nice likeness.
This placejust goes on and on, doesn't it? Like a ruddy theme park attraction.
- I'm in a meeting, Spike.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't care.
We're rufflin'a lot of dangerous feathers out there.
There's gonna be a backlash.
Count on it.
We'll just have to ride out the ripples for a while.
I'm sensin' a ripple on its way now.
Yes, uh Novac, sir.
Uh, what's this about you shutting down the Internment Acquisitions Division? - Internment Acqui - Grave-robbing.
Listen, I know you fellows are in charge now, and you're doin'a bang-upjob.
I'm with you 110%.
But that department brings in mucho revenue to this company.
Well, Novac, we'll just have to tighten our belts and do without.
No, you're not getting it.
Sir.
I.
A.
D.
Is under contract to provide fresh bodies to Magnus Hainsley.
You know who he is, right? Oy.
Okay.
He's one of our oldest clients.
Big potatoes.
We stop delivering and he is not going to be thrilled.
Then he's probably not gonna like it when you advise him that he's no longer our client.
- Me? - You got it, counselor.
- You tell Mr [Clear Throat.]
- Hainsley.
Hainsley that Wolfram and Hart is under new management and out of the grave-robbing business.
Now, run along and go argue your case.
- Me? - Go.
You don't have to take that from him, mate.
Stay out of this, Spike.
You don't work here.
Damn right I don't.
Look at you.
This is what you do now? Delegate the dirty work to spineless, low-level flunkies? No offense.
The mighty hero, reduced to a bloody bureaucrat.
If a certain Slayer could see you now Get outta here, Spike.
Gladly.
Cruel enough punishment being stuck here as a spook while you play chairman of the boring.
But hell if I'm going to spend my afterlife in your stinking city.
Get stuffed.
You don't think he's really gone, do you? That what's on your mind? Could've been me, Wes.
It was supposed to be me.
- You're not feeling guilty.
- What, about Spike? [Chuckles.]
That's That's not Wolfram and Hart gave me the amulet.
They must have expected me to use it and they had to have known it would have done to me what it did to Spike, so Why bother handing you the keys to the kingdom? It doesn't make sense.
What are the senior partners playing at? Maybe there's dissent in their ranks.
Or maybe there's another player in the game they and we don't know anything about.
Then again, maybe they got exactly what they were after.
- Spike.
- He may be the one they What are you doin' here? I thought you left town.
Don't think I didn't bleeding try.
Every time I got as far as the city limits, I kept popping back here.
Like my insides were getting yanked.
I suspected as much.
The amulet's Wolfram and Hart's property.
It's bound to this place.
And since Spike's connected to it Hey, I'm nobody's bloody property, Percy.
So what, I'm just stuck here forever? I bet you're loving this, aren't you? Knowing you'll be haunting me till the end of time.
Mm, it's a dream come true.
[Harmony.]
Uh, boss? That Novac lawyer you sent over to dump the client Well, he's back.
- Okay, send him in.
- Okay.
[Angel.]
What is Hmm.
OI' buckets here was right.
You guys are doin' a bang-up job.
Harmony, get me Novac's contact list.
Close relations, next of kin.
And let's be discreet about this for the time being, okay? Discreet? Oh, you mean like not tell anyone about bucket o' lawyer.
- Harmony, contact list.
- Hey.
Got word you wanted the file on Magnus Hainsley.
Dig this.
He's a sorcerer, big-time.
Rich with old money and older mojo.
Owns a respectable block of shares in Wolfram and Hart and he's connected up the wazoo.
Carries influence with power players in the entertainment industry, politics - Oh, he's a necromancer.
- Power over the dead.
That explains the bodies Wolfram and Hart's been providing him.
But not what he's been doing with them.
Out of my chair.
- Make me.
- What's in the buckets? Your man Novac.
Guess he's been what do you call it downsized.
It's a message from Magnus Hainsley.
And I'm gonna reply to it personally.
- You can't take Hainsley on.
- I'm not gonna risk him turning somebody else into chowder.
Angel, you've got a multibillion-dollar company at your disposal with armed and trained personnel.
- They cramp my style.
- Your style's not going to cut it with a necromancer.
We should probably avoid an eye-for-an-eye escalation here.
- I'm not goin' for his eyes, Wes.
- I know what you should go for.
It'll hurt him.
Bad.
[Spike.]
Knew you'd pick the Viper.
- So bloody predictable.
- Spike, get out of the car.
- No.
- What? This "haunting you until the end of time" idea of yours is starting to sound appealing.
I could drive you completely starkers.
Right out of your gourd.
Yeah, and you wouldn't be able to do a soddin' thing about it.
Fancy a road trip? This'll be fun, eh? You and me together again.
So, where are we off to? To see the wizard.
Do you have an appointment with Mr.
Hainsley? Let's just say he sent us an invitation.
We're I'm from Wolfram and Hart.
I'm his date.
Mr.
Hainsley is with a customer at the moment.
I'm afraid he does not suffer interruption lightly.
I'm not so worried about his suffering.
Go ahead and interrupt.
As you wish.
Please wait here, gentlemen.
Oh, life among the power elite.
It's all so civilized.
Hainsley grinds up one of your people into chum, and you drop by for tea.
I'm hopin' to avoid a body count here.
No worries.
Looks like this Hainsley keeps one on hand.
Man likes to play with dollies.
This isn't for him.
[Classical: Piano.]
It's a showroom.
[Droning.]
[Man.]
I thought about going older with it.
I don't know.
More distinguished, kind of a 50-something Shirley Temple Black with it.
You know, that ultrarespectable ambassador-to-somewhere feel.
But in the end, l I went with pretty.
I suppose we all do in the end, don't we? You know, in the end, pretty people just seem to have it so much Oh.
Whoa.
There's something you don't see every [Groans.]
Mm.
Okay, yeah, that's feelin' a little weird.
Excuse the interruption, sir.
There are some more men from Wolfram and Hart asking to see you.
They seem rather adamant.
- Kill them.
- Very good, sir.
[Droning Continues.]
I don't know.
Maybe the geezer's just lonely.
Throws himself a surprise party every night.
Picks out one of these painted pigeons and shows her a good time if you know what I mean.
What? I'm sure they don't mind.
- Yeah, I mind.
- Why? They're the lucky ones, aren't they? It's over for them.
They've shuffled off, cleanly, the one time.
Nobody's shoving them back into this stinking world against their will.
I mind.
[Footsteps Approaching.]
Mr.
Hainsley has asked that I send you back to Wolfram and Hart, gentlemen.
In a manner of speaking.
Uh-oh.
Looks like it's buckets for you.
[Screams.]
A spoon? That's just Well, okay, that's more disappointing really.
I know you can't help, but could you not root for the other team? I'll root for anyone with half a chance of taking you down a notch.
- What is your problem? - You are, you ponce.
You're my problem.
You've got it too good.
You're king of a 30-floor castle with all the cars, comfort, power and glory you could ever want.
And here I save the world, throw myself on the proverbial hand grenade for love, honor, and all the right reasons, and what do I get? Bloody well toasted and ghosted is what I get, isn't it? It's just not fair.
Fair? You asked for a soul.
I didn't.
It almost killed me.
I spend a hundred years trying to come to terms with infinite remorse.
You spent three weeks moaning in a basement, and then you were fine.
What's fair about that? Are you getting blurry, or is it [Groans.]
Come in.
It's open.
- Hainsley.
- Didn't know it was the head cheese himself.
Thought for sure you were another lackey.
You should show more respect.
Oh, uh [Chuckles.]
I can see you guys have a a thing going on.
Don't let me get in your way.
I'll let myself out.
So how much do you charge? Installing the average demon in a human body.
I'm sure a lot of them would love to pass as people.
You know, walk amongst the sheep.
Believe me, friend, the average demon can't afford it.
I'm cuttin' off your supply, Hainsley.
As of now, you're body shop's [Straining.]
Who do you think you're talking to? I eat the dead for breakfast, son.
And you're just another plate o' bacon and eggs.
A ghost, huh? You brought a ghost as your backup, vampire? I'm not here to back him up.
I just haunt the bastard.
- Stay out of this.
- Oh, stick it, far as it'll go.
You go ahead, wiz.
Do as you want.
- What I want is to turn you inside out, like a shirt.
- Ah! Ow! I could dust you right now, boy.
Wouldn't even need a stake.
But that would be too big an insult for the senior partners to overlook.
It seems that they've got plans for you.
- I've got plans of my own.
- [Phone Beeping.]
Gunn.
Do it.
And what was that? Just call in an air strike? I just froze all your bank accounts.
Terminated your paper assets, and turned your books over to a very motivated contact we have at the I.
R.
S.
Five minutes from now, you'll have nothing but this house.
Ten minutes from now, that'll go into foreclosure.
Ten minutes from now, that'll go into foreclosure.
You can't do that.
- I'll let myself out.
- It's not legal.
You think you can get away with that.
[Laughs.]
I'll sue you to hell.
Good luck.
We're your lawyers.
This isn't over, vampire.
That's how you're gonna fight evil now? Call the I.
R.
S.
? - Whatever it takes.
- Hello, I.
R.
S.
? Could you fight my battles for me? While you're at it, could you wipe my wide, spotty a Oh, thank God.
ss.
- You.
- Power over the dead.
But enough about me.
Let's talk about you.
You're a ghost.
Close enough anyway.
That's just a horrible way to be.
You're not here, you're not there.
Just lost somewhere in the middle.
You can't fight against it.
You can't fix it.
Hell, you can't even lift a finger 'cause you simply don't have any.
Yeah.
What's it to you? I can give you back what's been taken from you.
Freedom.
Power of choice.
I can put your destiny back in your own flesh-and-bone hands.
That's right.
A corporeal body.
I can make that happen.
But to do that, I need you to do something for me.
Something that might require Hurt Angel? That it? You want me to hurt Angel? You've come to the right ghost.
Wiped out every asset we could find on Hainsley.
Wasn't easy.
Man's got his fingers in a lot of dirty pies.
I think pies are gonna be off his menu for a while.
It's gotta hurt.
I mean, damn, who doesn't love pie? - [Fred.]
You're back.
- Hainsley out of business? - Yeah, for the time being.
- So he's not going away? I think that "This isn't over yet, vampire" may be the tip-off.
Guys, can we get back to my, uh, spiritual crisis? Yes.
Spike.
Popped out at me at Hainsley's place.
But we all know that he'll be back, and back and back, and I really don't want that happening again.
So explain to me how we're going to get him out of here.
He can't get out of here.
Please don't tell me that.
Okay.
Wesley, you tell him.
I've had my entire department doing thorough research on the amulet.
There's not much.
Not in the way of releasing Spike from it anyway.
At least not in the conventional sense.
And what's the unconventional sense? Something he asked for.
Eternal rest.
- Fine.
Don't talk to me.
- What? Whole time we were a thing you treated me like day-old rat blood.
Why should now be any diff? Just 'cause you've gone all Patrick Swayze.
- What are you on about? - Well, gee, nothing much.
Just since you're all soulful now I thought maybe, just maybe, you might have learned to open up a little.
You know, talk.
But I guess a leopard can't change his stripes.
Spots, you dink.
Leopards have spots.
Oh, excuse me, Mr.
Brainy.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Wow, what a breakthrough.
[Wesley.]
Yes, this is an unusual situation but I think it's our only choice.
It's what we'd do in any case of a haunting, isn't it? An exorcism of sorts.
I mean, I know he's already dead, but he'd be gone dead.
Forever.
Itjust doesn't seem right.
I agree.
But neither is leaving him here.
Trapped between realms, with no control over his fate not able to touch anything, affect anything.
Unable to fight.
Letting him cross over seems the most merciful thing we Yeah, yeah, mercy.
You know, I'm all for it.
Just tell me how we do it.
The amulet's protected, invulnerable to anything.
But the magic that's protecting it doesn't work on hallowed ground.
- Hallowed? Like a church? - Or cemetery, yes.
- It has to be taken there and destroyed.
- Destroyed how? I think a sharp blow would probably do the trick.
Angel, what do you think? Think I want to sleep on it.
[Spike.]
Well, look at you.
Oh, no.
No.
No, no! Sitting in luxury's ample lap.
Top of the world Iooking down on well, everyone.
It's good to be king, isn't it? Ground rules: Haunt me all you want during business hours but this space off-limits.
Relax, beefcake.
I didn't come for a fight.
- Really? - Not that I could, right? Can't touch.
Can't affect anything.
Yeah, I overheard your little group powwow about me.
- How much? - Enough of enough.
Look, Spike- - Necromancer tried to make a deal with me.
- What? Said he could bring me back, body and soul if I used our close personal relationship to double-cross you.
Tempting.
And what'd you say? You see, right there that's a problem.
You having to ask me that.
I don't play for that side anymore or haven't you heard.
Besides, even if Mr.
Death could do what he promised I trust him about as much as you trust me.
What do you want from me? I can't live like this, Angel.
Bein' useless.
Bein' nothing.
I want it to end.
[Spike.]
I suppose this'll do.
Feels hallowed enough.
Sure you want to do this, Spike? What? Think I could really stand hanging out with you and your lot now and forever? Wisecracking ghost sidekick.
No bloody thanks.
Come on.
You know as well as I do, it's for the best.
I'm glad it's you, though, finally doin' me in.
Feels right, you bein' my grandsire and all.
Circle of death, eh? Good-bye, Spike.
See you around, Angel.
Uh, I think you missed.
[Groaning.]
And the dead shall rise.
! Just 'cause I say so.
- Hainsley.
- Vampires should think twice before messing with a man who wields power over all things lifeless.
If you ask my advice.
Took your sweet time steppin' in, Hainsley.
I came this close to getting a one-way to the great beyond.
Relax, son.
I wasn't going to let anything happen to you.
- You're the linchpin of my plan.
- Our plan.
And you bloody better hold up your end of it.
I'm not gonna be used by you.
Yes, you are.
But afterwards, I'll give you your reward, just as you asked.
I'll put you back in the driver's seat of your afterlife.
Control.
That's all anyone really wants, isn't it? Hello, vampire.
Have a nice nap? - No - Don't get up.
You've had a rough day.
You know, so have I, thanks to you.
Yours is about to get a hell of a lot worse.
I don't think so.
Me, necromancer.
You, dead.
- You can't lay a finger on me.
- Maybe not.
But what do you think the senior partners are gonna do to you when I turn up missing? Oh, you're not going to be missing.
You're going to show up to work bright-eyed and bushy-tailed tomorrow morning when you reverse the seizure of my personal assets and reinstate the Internment Acquisitions Department.
- And why would I do that? - [Spike.]
Not you.
Me.
Wearin' your body.
And to think I didn't trust you.
Come on, Angel.
What choice did I have? Bloody exorcism? Letting you and yours banish me to oblivion? No, thanks.
Necro here is gonna give me my body back after I take yours for a test drive.
Fix his little problems.
And here's the kicker.
I go in, and you go pfft! Off to Never-Never- Come-Back-Land.
And then, yours very truly will be running the show.
Your cars, your fancy digs, everything.
Every one I deserve will be mine.
And maybe I'll have a go with that Fred.
She looks like a goer.
And she seems to really look up to you.
Shut up! You know what? You're right.
Enough talk.
Let's do this already.
I'm itching to get physical.
I've never installed anyone in a conscious dead body before.
I imagine this is going to be extremely painful.
[Droning.]
[Stammering.]
What What are you doing? Spike Spike No.
No! I can touch you now, Hainsley.
Think you're clever, eh? But [Groans.]
Your ghost can't control me for long.
I hold the power.
I rule the dead.
Not today.
Oh, bollocks.
I was just gettin' warmed up.
- That was you hitting me? - That last bit, yeah.
Hainsley's been dead since he hit the table.
Oh, come on.
Had to get a few licks in, didn't I? I see.
So Spike came to you with this plan.
More or less.
Once he learned Hainsley used himself as a conduit for body transfers - our trap fell into place.
- A bit reckless.
[Wesley.]
If Spike's going to be sticking around, it'd be prudent ofhim to share his plans with the rest of us in the future.
Yeah, well, uh, sharing's not something Spike does very well.
Preaching to the horse's mouth.
Spike.
What are y-you Can I help you? Well, that's the heart of it, isn't it? The crux.
The nub.
I'm sorry? You're the smart one, aren't you? The go-to girl who knows all about this ghost mumbo jumbo.
Um, well, a-actually Wesley's the occult expert.
H-He was trained as a Watcher.
He knows about the supernatural.
Yeah, but you're the science queen.
The hows, the what-ifs, that's your cup of tea.
You figure things out in that cute little noggin of yours.
I guess.
What l-Is there something I'm slippin'.
What? I don't want to go.
But it's like It's like the ground underneath me is splitting open and my legs are straddling both sides of this bloody big chasm.
It's getting wider and pulling me in.
Is that Is that what's happening when you keep vanishing? I know what's down there.
Where it's tryin' to take me.
And it's not the place heroes go.
Not by a bloody long shot.
It's the other one.
Full of fire and torment.
And it's happening.
And I'm terrified.
Help me? Grr! Arrgh!