Arrested Development s05e02 Episode Script
Self-Deportation
1 [Ron Howard.]
Michael had decided to leave town, and needed to get out of his obligation to make a movie -about his family.
-Michael! You had one job.
You had to get your son to sign the releases! Ron Howard wants to make a heartfelt father-son drama that has a good clean message for his illegitimate daughter to star in.
Don't pull this on me! We've already reserved the soundstages and he's already started paying off -the Hollywood Foreign Press.
-[Ron.]
No, they're great.
-She's funny.
-I understand all of that.
Okay, but Rebel is part of the reason why I can't do this.
My son is dating her, and I don't want to get in the way.
If I could talk to Ron, -No.
No.
I am in charge -I'm sure he and I of this movie right now.
My ass is on the line while Ron makes a real movie in Mexico.
-Mexico, okay.
-You don't understand how hard it is in Hollywood right now.
You have to crank out family dramas before they let you make your dream superhero movie.
Do you have a dream superhero movie? I want to remake Spider-Man 2, the first one.
Or something that at least has a hook.
-little girl! [screams.]
-Oh, God! Damn it.
My brother Buster has something better than a hook.
A robot hand.
Okay? And there's a cop looking for him.
-Hmm.
-And they can't find Lucille 2.
And I found Buster in the attic in scuba gear.
It's intriguing.
I think that's your movie.
-That's your guy.
-No.
Okay, I've got his release right here.
[Ron.]
In fact, it was the only family member's release You're out of the movie.
You're out of the movie.
-he hadn't destroyed.
-You're out of the movie.
You're out of the movie! Know what? -You're out of the movie.
-Fine.
Hey, Dad, how ya doing? -You're out of the movie! -[Michael.]
With Buster, it is not father-son, it's more mother-son.
But if you could get Rebel to play Lucille, you know If she could go that unlikable.
So that's his release right here.
These are the other releases.
You need tape, but they're pretty clean.
You're off the picture, Michael.
I'll give you your 500 bucks.
-I get paid? -They're Imagine dollars.
They're redeemable in the gift shop.
-That's Ron Howard.
-Brian's on the 50.
It's a severance thing they're doing because of Ron's need to be loved and Brian's conflict avoidance issues.
[Ron.]
Michael had gotten into something he wanted no part of.
I'm sure they've got a very old relationship.
I could tell you stories.
[Ron.]
But she wouldn't dare.
And after a quick stop downstairs I think I'm gonna take one Gung Ho kimono, okay? Oh, and maybe a Brian wig.
That's fun.
-Oh, we only sell these as a set.
-[line ringing.]
They were getting very competitive.
-Were they? -[whispers.]
Brian was.
and another call to his son [George Michael.]
You've reached George Maharis.
[in normal voice.]
Did you want that Rebel Alley hair? Oh.
Uh, no no.
That's that is mine.
-I came with that.
Uh, okay.
-Michael headed home to tell Buster his plan for making the family come back.
I've sent away the fumigator, and all you got to do, so we can declare you missing, is stay out of sight for about 72 hours.
-Milford style.
-Hmm? -I'm a Milford man, Michael.
-Yeah? Winner of 1982's Least Seen on Campus.
I wish I could've seen their faces -at the ceremony.
-We just, you know, we gotta play this right and, uh, you gotta make sure you don't -well, show your hand.
-This is one of only two things the Army warns us about when they issue these.
Boy, Kitty does not know what she's sitting on.
Pal, I'm gonna call you from, uh, wherever I end up, and you're gonna be great.
I-I just don't understand why I can't go with you, Michael.
It's about teaching them a lesson.
-Mm-hmm.
-So And I just, I got in a big fight with my son, you know.
It was my fault.
For so many years, I was his mom and dad, so Maybe that's a role I can play in your life.
[stammers.]
Don't say-- Mom.
Mmm.
I thought you were gonna say Dad.
-Mm-mm.
-But, you know, it's a bummer that you can't come with me, Buster, but you need to stay and talk to the cops.
[Buster.]
Cops? What cops? -Why would you bring the cops into this? -They're already looking for you.
What? The cops are looking for me? -A cop, actually.
-I can't be talking to the cops.
-Listen.
-I don't do good with the cops.
I didn't do anything.
I don't know what's going on.
-Relax.
-I ain't got no truck with no blue.
Nothing to worry about.
They're looking for Lucille Austero.
They want to question you.
Why would I know anything about Lucille 2? I hope you didn't say we were dating.
Uh, well, I mean, you you did live with her.
Well, I lived with Mother.
Did you think we were dating? [chuckles.]
-Question's been asked.
-[whimpers.]
-Do you actually know where Lucille 2 is? -No! No! A thousand times, no! Is that what they'll ask? 'Cause it's not like I'm gonna remember details about where I saw her and what we fought about.
Oh, you fought? You kept me from Mother? You sent her to prison? [growls.]
Should I not say that? -I'm not good with the cops.
-Right.
What if Lucille 2 doesn't come back? Don't worry about that.
She-- I just spoke to her today.
-What? In person? -Yeah.
Uh, no.
On the phone.
She's fine.
Well, you could've told me that from the beginning.
This is not about Lucille 2.
This is about teaching Mom -a lesson, you know.
-Oh.
I mean, she just splits town and assumes I'm gonna take care of everything? You know, this is just a way to, uh -Give Mom a little scare.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
Let them race back into town and save everyone for a change.
There's nothing to worry about.
Just Mama's worst nightmare.
Buster's missing.
Oh, and his bath has gone cold.
[laughs.]
[Ron.]
Buster was on board.
Maybe have a full psych panel while you're in there, too.
Oh, those things are so easy to beat.
[Ron.]
Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.
It's Having traveled south of the border, George Sr.
and his son G.
O.
B.
found themselves at a Mexican singles bar.
-It's dead.
-Yeah.
Second place in a row.
[Ron.]
Each looking for an excuse for their lack of heterosexual vigor.
Where are all the blondes? It's just [Ron.]
But it wasn't a blonde G.
O.
B.
was thinking about.
His recent rivalry with magician Tony Wonder had blossomed into a kind of friendship before contracting into a rivalry again.
[both.]
Same.
[Ron.]
Which suddenly became a oh, let's say, boarding school romance.
Uh, this place is full of [sighs.]
cincos and mayos.
We need to find out whatever the word for ten is.
-Find that.
-It's ten.
-Every culture uses ten.
-Ten.
[Ron.]
It wouldn't matter if it was an 11, because George Sr.
, too, had changed recently It blew off at the CVS parking lot.
having lost all sexual feeling of late -despite some very progressive therapy.
-Hopi Indians believe that this spot -Okay.
-when manipulated, can create sexual feeling.
-That's my penis.
-You don't have to tell me.
[Ron.]
Which sent him into his crisis [doctor.]
I can get hard, so let's focus on you.
of masculinity.
Hey, these are from the ladies across the bar.
-They're primas.
-[George Sr.
.]
Primos, huh? I've gotta be honest, I've seen better.
Huh? Eh.
No, it means cousins.
One hates her father, and the other hates her grandfather.
[Ron.]
It seemed the cervezas weren't the only thing being handed to the guys on a platter.
I don't know about you, but I'd prefer the thrill of the hunt, -as opposed to -[George Sr.
.]
If we wait, something a little better will come along.
Thank you.
Not trying to fall head over heels here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not super eager to be, uh, missing somebody.
-Yeah.
-[chuckles.]
I mean, who you love.
-Place gives me the creeps.
Let's get out.
-Yeah.
It's dead.
[Ron.]
But back in America, Michael was working on a way to make his runaway family return.
So, we gotta wait about 48 hours before we declare you missing, -and then they put out an APB.
-APB.
"Aw, poor Buster.
" -That's nice.
-Well You gotta lay low long enough for Mom and Dad to hear about it.
And, pal, I would take you with me, but truth is, I just, I don't know if I'm gonna come back.
Oh.
[chuckling.]
What's so funny? You always come back to save the family.
We joke about that all the time.
Well, I don't know what the joke is.
I've been trying to do the right thing.
[laughs.]
"Hi, I'm Michael, and I save everyone so I feel special, even though you don't deserve it.
I'm leaving.
I won't be coming back.
" -Buster -"Oh! Look who's back.
I thought we were supposed to go [bleeps.]
with a [bleeps.]
.
" "Mmm, you would know, Mother.
You practically invented [bleeps.]
[bleeps.]
when you get sauced!" [gasps.]
"How dare you point that limp [bleeps.]
hook at me when I saved you from one! I can't believe I pushed you out of my [bleeps.]
, you useless [bleeps.]
freak!" -[inhales deeply.]
-Covered a lot of ground there.
Yeah.
Although I'm glad I won't be leaving you alone.
Oh, I'm going with you? No, I'm going to Mexico or something, and you gotta go to the police station.
-Oh, right.
Why do they arrest me? -They don't.
You go to the police station 'cause you say, "Heard you were looking for me.
Here I am.
" Oh, but you said a cop had questions for me.
Mm-hmm.
About Lucille 2.
And I'm not gonna answer any questions, right? -No.
Answer the questions.
-When Barry says it's okay.
Barry's not there.
No attorneys.
Just tell the truth.
Okay, like, bad example, I saw Lucille 2's lifeless body sprawled across the stair car? Perfect.
If that's what happened, tell them.
Nothing to be nervous about, okay? Lucille 2 is probably gonna be back from whatever bender she's on.
She's gonna be as dry as, uh well, Lucille 1.
I can hear Mother winking now.
So, I got some groceries.
These are gonna have to last.
You already got into the candy bears, huh? [Buster.]
This is literally one of only two things the Army warns about when they issue these.
-Let me help.
-I think they spent $27 million on the wrong guy.
Don't you say that about you.
Well Maybe you do say that.
Maybe that's important to say.
[Ron.]
And certain his mother would have to return to take responsibility for this particular son, Michael went to say goodbye to his own.
[knocking on door.]
-[phone vibrates.]
-Ooh.
Hey, I am outside your door.
I was this close to telling you.
You inside? [Lucille 2.]
Hi, it's Lucille Austero.
-No! -I've been looking for you.
-Note, I mean.
-[Lucille 2 chattering.]
I know, I'd left you a note, -and, can you hear me? -[Lucille 2 continues chattering.]
Hello? Hello? Here we go again.
Getting disconnected.
This is why you always leave a note.
Always leave a note.
Where's that from? [Ron.]
Michael discovered a note he'd already written.
[Michael.]
"Are you avoiding me? Ha ha.
Leaving town for a while.
Love you.
-Michael Bluth.
" -[Ron.]
It worked well.
But perhaps if Michael had taken a few seconds to write an original note before leaving town, he would've run into George Michael, who was coming to see him only to come across a cousin he didn't recognize.
-Hey.
Know if anyone's home? -[Steve.]
Uh, yeah, Buster's in there.
But if you're looking for Michael, you just missed him.
-[sighs.]
-Oh, so much for apologizing.
I'm telling you, he's moved on.
-Okay? You should, too.
-[Steve.]
I just found out my dad went to Mexico without telling me.
[chuckles.]
Welcome to the shitty parents club.
-No, no, we don't have kids.
-No.
[Ron.]
Although there was a kid that Maeby was eager to get away from.
You know, Mexico sounds far from Perfecto.
So that's perfect.
What do you say? Screw it! No rules.
Anything goes.
[Ron.]
A rebounding George Michael found the offer intriguing.
-Just the cousins.
-Mm-hmm.
[Ron.]
Which turned out to be -Primos! [laughs.]
-this crew.
-Why do you keep yelling that? -[laughing.]
Stop it.
Ah.
[Ron.]
Not far away, Michael was also heading to Mexico.
And after taking care of one last bit of business [Michael.]
It's Buster Bluth, that's right.
Uh, yeah, I'm completely sure he's been gone 72 hours.
As a matter of fact, his bath has grown cold.
So that's, uh, an alarm bell right there.
[Ron.]
Michael was ready to hit bottom -and go off the map.
-[Michael.]
Thanks so much.
[Ron.]
But that's hard to do when you're driving a car that makes maps.
[Michael.]
No pictures, thank you! Put your phones down.
We take the pictures.
[Ron.]
When the fleet of recovery vans arrived from the search engine Michael had been working for, he discovered that the car that takes the pictures -was no longer under his control.
-No! Window up.
-Window -Hi, I'm Dave from Mapping.
She's Lisa from Traditional Search.
-And that's Jeff.
-I'm Jeff from Earth.
-Hi.
Hi, guys.
-[Dave.]
We heard we had a runaway ostrich, and, uh, we need you to return the car.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Am I under arrest? Oh, no.
They never arrest the drivers.
They do come down pretty hard on the cars, but it's cheaper to just retrain the people instead.
It sounds super futuristic and dystopian, but it's really not.
[Ron.]
Earth was right.
Because once he had been escorted back to the impressive campus of company headquarters, Michael found himself settling into a new and generally carefree life, one that couldn't have been farther from the bottom he'd forgotten about hitting.
-[Michael grunts.]
-[Ron.]
Ironically, Michael's son had also experienced car troubles in Mexico, and he wandered across his grandfather's deserted land hoping to find a spare tire Can't believe you didn't know who I was.
-and lose a third wheel.
-Well, there's nothing we can say.
I wouldn't blame you if you took off and you don't come back.
Nah.
Primos stick together.
Oh.
"Cousin.
" It means "cousins.
" -That makes sense.
-[gunfire.]
[horse neighs.]
[Ron.]
But the land proved not to be deserted, after all.
[men shouting.]
[Ron.]
And as the menacing horsemen descended on the travelers, George Michael found himself tempted to bring up his dust allergies -We got a lot of dust.
-but hinted at them instead.
And they would soon discover -You are not welcome here.
-[horse neighs.]
Oh, so sorry, we j-- Our car broke down.
We thought we might find somebody we know.
My grandfather owns this land.
That is not what the sign says.
Mr.
Efe I am the elder here.
This is our land.
And you would be wise to never be seen here again.
Strum! [strums guitar.]
Now, if you'll excuse us, we must say buenos dÃas.
-Vamos, vamos.
-Play the guitar, old man! -Strum! Strum! -[playing guitar.]
[Ron.]
And George Michael asked the question anyone might.
Who were those scary, handsome Mexicans on those magical horses? They just looked like old white men to me.
Oh.
We should probably get out of here.
Yeah, I mean, I've got a big job on Monday, anyway.
I was gonna have to leave early, and I didn't know how to tell you.
But now we can just all go together.
[Ron.]
And that's when he saw his opening.
Never.
Never.
Are you? No.
I mean, we're Bluths.
We're gonna stay.
Maeby, too.
We're The two of us are gonna stay.
[Ron.]
And soon, being with his cousin was no longer -an obstacle -[George Michael.]
Crazy asshole.
to George Michael's hope of being with his cousin.
I was wondering how you were gonna get rid of him.
-Was I that obvious? -I just know that you don't like standing up to people on horses with guns.
No, I never really was that guy.
-Let's find a bar.
-Okay.
Yeah, I'd love that.
[Ron.]
And so, after getting out of their dusty clothes, the two did just that.
And George Michael was soon getting a real feel for the people.
Hey.
You're not gonna believe this.
I met these guys that are actually from Orange County.
And two of them also go to UCI.
Two of them are named Noah, but not the two that you'd think.
-Cool? -Really cool.
They're staying here, renting a place while they do this language course.
We could stay with them.
I'm thinking about heading back.
N Wait, look.
If this is about me firing you from Fakeblock, there's something you should know.
Fakeblock doesn't actually exist.
Are you telling me that the software that's supposed to keep people's computers unhackable and keep any kind of information private doesn't exist? How did you find out? It was easy.
I just looked in your computer under "Secrets.
" Oh, you looked in my "Please Don't Read" folder? No, that one was empty.
I found it in "Just Odds and Ends.
" Great, you got past my double bluff.
It's okay, George Michael.
You worry too much.
Yeah, that keeps me up at night, actually.
I just feel like I gotta move on with my life, you know? Find some meaning.
Get going with my own goop.
Goop? What is goop? If you have to ask, you probably don't know what it is.
I don't know what it is.
I feel like maybe you don't know what it is.
Maybe it's "go-op"? To me, that would make less sense.
Maybe that's what "go-op" is.
Not everything always making sense.
[Ron.]
It isn't.
Meanwhile, George Sr.
and G.
O.
B.
continued trying to out-goop each other.
I won't tell Mom about all the ladies you're [bleeps.]
if you don't tell Mom about all the ladies I'm [bleeps.]
.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Look at that one coming up.
Where, where? Oh, my God.
Oh, she's hot.
She's so hot.
Dibs! No, no, no, Daddy saw her first.
-Daddy dibs.
-She got a friend or? She's got a friend! That's a friend? [G.
O.
B.
.]
Bush.
Trash bag and bush.
-Thought it was a woman.
-Yeah.
-Like, hunched over, right? -Yeah.
Like, with the I wanted to do her so bad.
Wow.
I mean, I And I really liked her friend.
Me, I liked her, too.
-That was a ten-gallon Hefty sack? -Oh, yeah.
-Yeah, a ten.
Definitely a ten.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
Nice.
I like.
I like a ten.
[Ron.]
And Lucille, at the behest of her court-mandated therapist, -was struggling to make sense of things.
-Am I horrible for saying these things? No.
But I was doing the math, and I still think you're gonna have a problem with this final "raped murderer.
" But who cares about him? Oh, this is pointless.
How many more sessions do I have to endure until I'm done with -no offense you? -[chuckles.]
Legally, two.
But I am in the family.
I mean this is my family.
My daughter is divorcing you.
This is it.
I'm confused by the word "it.
" Are you implying that you don't want to see me anymore? I'm confused by the word "anymore.
" There are many things I can do for this family.
You've lost touch with your daughter.
Put me in, for God sakes.
-I thought this was my time.
-It is your time.
Yes, yes.
But as your therapist, I'm pointing out that I know that you build these walls to keep out, for instance, your surviving children-in-law.
Oh, don't talk to me about walls.
That's why we're in this mess.
My husband buys land so we can get a contract to build a little something on the border.
A-a wall.
And we did everything right.
[Ron.]
Well, not everything.
They did buy land on the border -You live here? -to sell back to the government.
-The check.
-[Ron.]
And they paid off -a politician -I am gonna put this on my wall.
to stir up xenophobia.
We have got to build a wall between us and Mexico.
-Yeah, yeah.
-[Ron.]
Of course, they made -a few rookie mistakes.
-I bribed Love to get the wall, and I don't have the land to build it on! [Ron.]
Well, they had it.
It was just on the wrong side of the border.
Which they might have known had George's brother Oscar -not burned the signs.
-It's okay to burn these? Well, this is America.
They don't want us to burn signs, they shouldn't write 'em in Spanish.
[Ron.]
And so, Lucille did what her own government might do.
Who better than the Chinese to help us build a wall, right? -[Ron.]
She borrowed from the Chinese.
-That's good enough.
-[crying.]
-[Ron.]
Of course, none of this -was okay with the woman -How dare you?! -who owned a majority stake -Lucille -in the company.
-Two I can't be running a company that's building a wall I campaigned against! [Ron.]
And with their politician out of the race, their future looked bleak.
So, unless some angel descends on a golden chariot, we're completely over-leveraged.
And maybe you don't want to get hurt because, as I say, hurt people hurt people.
Oh, that's nice.
I always say, "Make people cry, make people cry.
" But yours includes the people who don't want to give you the satisfaction.
[Ron.]
Tobias decided to err on the side of Lucille keeping him on as a therapist.
You know what, let's lock that in there.
And I'd say we've made some real good progress today.
Yes.
[chuckles.]
I really think this is working.
Swimming! Hurt people, hurt people.
[Ron.]
Lindsay had also made it to Mexico, and was enjoying the fact that men were more respectful.
[bartender.]
Puta Night is Thursday.
-That's so nice.
No, I'm not.
-[Ron.]
That was based on her belief -that "puta" meant "young.
" -No.
Puta.
[whispers.]
I try to stay out of the sun.
[Ron.]
And that's when she saw what appeared to be -a Mexican version of her father.
-[Lindsay.]
Oh, my God.
Lindsay.
What are you doing here? Guess I just had to get away.
I was just ordering lunch.
Can I buy you lunch? Oh, yeah.
I'm so hungry, I could eat.
[Ron.]
Lindsay's daughter, meanwhile, discovered that her trip back home -This is as far as we go.
-took a detour.
[Maeby.]
Oh.
-You live here? -No.
These people have nothing.
We are lucky.
We have next to nothing.
We are helping these people because nobody else will.
They've been kicked out of the only country they've ever known because of the cruelty of your president Barack Obama.
Their old country is their mother, new country is their father.
Imagine if your mother and your father did not want you.
So, you're trying to, like, teach them a lesson or? We're volunteers.
Who did you think the water was for? Oh.
[chuckles.]
I thought you were just trying to get me to give you a higher Uber rating.
[Ron.]
And Maeby decided to stay and help.
George Michael, meanwhile, settled into a different kind of "south of the border" lifestyle.
[George Michael.]
Mexico.
It's like being in the Spanish dorms of the UCI sister campus in Spain all over again.
[Ron.]
He was noticing subtle differences in the cuisine.
God, the salt is different here.
It's fatter or something, right? -We're from Orange County.
-[Ron.]
He reached out to locals.
Dude, I'm from San Diego.
They want everyone to think we're Mexican.
-My name's Noah.
-[Ron.]
He met another Noah.
-[George Michael.]
Noah, get over here.
-[Ron.]
Noah met another Noah.
-[laughs.]
What up, dawg? -[Ron.]
And soon five, I want to say, indistinguishable Americans -had Mexico on its heels.
-You didn't know this was Noah? -[Ron.]
They saw foreign films.
-I'm glad someone had the guts to give the Minions their own movie.
It's great because it's subtitled in Spanish, but we don't have to read.
It's in English.
If you don't want to see 'em, you can block 'em.
[Ron.]
Started trends.
They discovered charming native communities where local artisans peddled their wares.
-[George Michael sighs.]
Mexico.
-[Ron.]
Adopted customs like the midday break, or siesta.
Yes! Who left the air conditioning on? -Oh, me.
I never left.
-[Ron.]
And while George Michael -was enjoying his status quo -[George Michael.]
Why'd we go out? Lucille was on the verge of an emotional breakthrough that could possibly change her life.
and our whole life is turned upside down.
This is my time.
Your session ended.
-[Ron.]
That's when she heard something -[shushing.]
that would definitely change her life.
[reporter.]
candidate descended the escalator into the lobby.
I will build a great, great wall on our southern border.
-[crowd cheering.]
-Which was my idea! And I will have Mexico pay for that wall.
-[applause.]
-Okay.
That is a clever twist.
[Ron.]
Michael had been at Search for a month.
In that time, he'd developed himself physically And then lunge.
Duck, sweep the leg, lunge.
been given a new company car.
Ted, I think you see your daughter coming.
You're not expecting this, but she's coming in hot -with a right -[Ron.]
He'd gotten to teach a class he'd successfully persuaded management to try out.
Mona, I know your husband's down, he probably needs medical attention, but you got another son on your flank.
And, everybody, we're going to duck, sweep the leg, and lunge.
And he comes back again.
And we sweep the leg and lunge.
That's great.
Everybody put down your cactus.
Let's all huddle up.
Okay, now that you're loose, we're gonna do some Mom Attacks Son, we're gonna do Dad Attacks Daughter, and then we're gonna do Dad Attacks Mom [Ron.]
But he still felt something was missing from his life -when he found a way to satisfy a dream.
-[Michael.]
Wow, satisfy an old dream.
Boy, do you really have to spend 1,000 bucks on the gear, though? -Not if you have your own.
-Mm.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, not here, but I could drive home and get it.
Course, I could see my family.
[Ron.]
A family Michael hadn't seen in some time.
So he decided Ah, what the heck.
For 1,000 bucks, it's worth the risk, huh? [Ron.]
Michael returned to a model home he left in some disgrace.
And he wasn't particularly proud of what he did next.
[in Spanish accent.]
Hola.
Window cleaner! [Buster.]
I shall be neither seen nor heard.
-[Tobias.]
I blue myself.
-[Lindsay.]
It's vodka.
It goes bad once it's opened.
[G.
O.
B.
.]
I heard the jury's still out on science.
-[Ron.]
It was an emotional moment.
-[Michael.]
Window cleaner! [Ron.]
Until right at the end there.
And that's when he found a letter from Lucille 2.
[in normal voice.]
She forgave the debt.
[Ron.]
And feeling bad that he'd been forgiven by someone he wanted to forget, he decided to thank her in person.
But, tired of hiding, he decided -to say hello to his own family.
-Hello? [G.
O.
B.
.]
Speech! Speech! [Lucille.]
You're my third least favorite child.
[Buster.]
like a Motherboy Ball.
[Ron.]
And when they weren't home, he found himself missing them.
[George Michael.]
I should ask if she wants to get pre-pre-engaged.
-Lucille 2? -[Lucille.]
I want that pie covered.
-And not with your face.
-Hello? -[squeals.]
Told you he'd come! -[George Sr.
.]
Hey! -It's on, it's on, it's on.
-[excited chatter.]
-Look at him fighting me! -G.
O.
B.
! -I haven't seen you in a year! -It's been two months.
Get your hands off.
Oh, yeah? What's the last thing you remember us doing? -What do you remember? -What? No.
[thud.]
-[George Sr.
.]
Enough! -[Ron.]
Michael Bluth -gets up.
-A lot of hands down there.
-They weren't my hands.
-[chuckles.]
Oh.
Okay.
Harmless bathhousing amongst brothers, yes? -[chuckles.]
-[Ron.]
And George Michael dips his toe -into the Mexican nightlife.
-Guys, it's 9:00.
Gives us 30 minutes till they shut down that last machine at Pinkberry.
Michael had decided to leave town, and needed to get out of his obligation to make a movie -about his family.
-Michael! You had one job.
You had to get your son to sign the releases! Ron Howard wants to make a heartfelt father-son drama that has a good clean message for his illegitimate daughter to star in.
Don't pull this on me! We've already reserved the soundstages and he's already started paying off -the Hollywood Foreign Press.
-[Ron.]
No, they're great.
-She's funny.
-I understand all of that.
Okay, but Rebel is part of the reason why I can't do this.
My son is dating her, and I don't want to get in the way.
If I could talk to Ron, -No.
No.
I am in charge -I'm sure he and I of this movie right now.
My ass is on the line while Ron makes a real movie in Mexico.
-Mexico, okay.
-You don't understand how hard it is in Hollywood right now.
You have to crank out family dramas before they let you make your dream superhero movie.
Do you have a dream superhero movie? I want to remake Spider-Man 2, the first one.
Or something that at least has a hook.
-little girl! [screams.]
-Oh, God! Damn it.
My brother Buster has something better than a hook.
A robot hand.
Okay? And there's a cop looking for him.
-Hmm.
-And they can't find Lucille 2.
And I found Buster in the attic in scuba gear.
It's intriguing.
I think that's your movie.
-That's your guy.
-No.
Okay, I've got his release right here.
[Ron.]
In fact, it was the only family member's release You're out of the movie.
You're out of the movie.
-he hadn't destroyed.
-You're out of the movie.
You're out of the movie! Know what? -You're out of the movie.
-Fine.
Hey, Dad, how ya doing? -You're out of the movie! -[Michael.]
With Buster, it is not father-son, it's more mother-son.
But if you could get Rebel to play Lucille, you know If she could go that unlikable.
So that's his release right here.
These are the other releases.
You need tape, but they're pretty clean.
You're off the picture, Michael.
I'll give you your 500 bucks.
-I get paid? -They're Imagine dollars.
They're redeemable in the gift shop.
-That's Ron Howard.
-Brian's on the 50.
It's a severance thing they're doing because of Ron's need to be loved and Brian's conflict avoidance issues.
[Ron.]
Michael had gotten into something he wanted no part of.
I'm sure they've got a very old relationship.
I could tell you stories.
[Ron.]
But she wouldn't dare.
And after a quick stop downstairs I think I'm gonna take one Gung Ho kimono, okay? Oh, and maybe a Brian wig.
That's fun.
-Oh, we only sell these as a set.
-[line ringing.]
They were getting very competitive.
-Were they? -[whispers.]
Brian was.
and another call to his son [George Michael.]
You've reached George Maharis.
[in normal voice.]
Did you want that Rebel Alley hair? Oh.
Uh, no no.
That's that is mine.
-I came with that.
Uh, okay.
-Michael headed home to tell Buster his plan for making the family come back.
I've sent away the fumigator, and all you got to do, so we can declare you missing, is stay out of sight for about 72 hours.
-Milford style.
-Hmm? -I'm a Milford man, Michael.
-Yeah? Winner of 1982's Least Seen on Campus.
I wish I could've seen their faces -at the ceremony.
-We just, you know, we gotta play this right and, uh, you gotta make sure you don't -well, show your hand.
-This is one of only two things the Army warns us about when they issue these.
Boy, Kitty does not know what she's sitting on.
Pal, I'm gonna call you from, uh, wherever I end up, and you're gonna be great.
I-I just don't understand why I can't go with you, Michael.
It's about teaching them a lesson.
-Mm-hmm.
-So And I just, I got in a big fight with my son, you know.
It was my fault.
For so many years, I was his mom and dad, so Maybe that's a role I can play in your life.
[stammers.]
Don't say-- Mom.
Mmm.
I thought you were gonna say Dad.
-Mm-mm.
-But, you know, it's a bummer that you can't come with me, Buster, but you need to stay and talk to the cops.
[Buster.]
Cops? What cops? -Why would you bring the cops into this? -They're already looking for you.
What? The cops are looking for me? -A cop, actually.
-I can't be talking to the cops.
-Listen.
-I don't do good with the cops.
I didn't do anything.
I don't know what's going on.
-Relax.
-I ain't got no truck with no blue.
Nothing to worry about.
They're looking for Lucille Austero.
They want to question you.
Why would I know anything about Lucille 2? I hope you didn't say we were dating.
Uh, well, I mean, you you did live with her.
Well, I lived with Mother.
Did you think we were dating? [chuckles.]
-Question's been asked.
-[whimpers.]
-Do you actually know where Lucille 2 is? -No! No! A thousand times, no! Is that what they'll ask? 'Cause it's not like I'm gonna remember details about where I saw her and what we fought about.
Oh, you fought? You kept me from Mother? You sent her to prison? [growls.]
Should I not say that? -I'm not good with the cops.
-Right.
What if Lucille 2 doesn't come back? Don't worry about that.
She-- I just spoke to her today.
-What? In person? -Yeah.
Uh, no.
On the phone.
She's fine.
Well, you could've told me that from the beginning.
This is not about Lucille 2.
This is about teaching Mom -a lesson, you know.
-Oh.
I mean, she just splits town and assumes I'm gonna take care of everything? You know, this is just a way to, uh -Give Mom a little scare.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
Let them race back into town and save everyone for a change.
There's nothing to worry about.
Just Mama's worst nightmare.
Buster's missing.
Oh, and his bath has gone cold.
[laughs.]
[Ron.]
Buster was on board.
Maybe have a full psych panel while you're in there, too.
Oh, those things are so easy to beat.
[Ron.]
Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.
It's Having traveled south of the border, George Sr.
and his son G.
O.
B.
found themselves at a Mexican singles bar.
-It's dead.
-Yeah.
Second place in a row.
[Ron.]
Each looking for an excuse for their lack of heterosexual vigor.
Where are all the blondes? It's just [Ron.]
But it wasn't a blonde G.
O.
B.
was thinking about.
His recent rivalry with magician Tony Wonder had blossomed into a kind of friendship before contracting into a rivalry again.
[both.]
Same.
[Ron.]
Which suddenly became a oh, let's say, boarding school romance.
Uh, this place is full of [sighs.]
cincos and mayos.
We need to find out whatever the word for ten is.
-Find that.
-It's ten.
-Every culture uses ten.
-Ten.
[Ron.]
It wouldn't matter if it was an 11, because George Sr.
, too, had changed recently It blew off at the CVS parking lot.
having lost all sexual feeling of late -despite some very progressive therapy.
-Hopi Indians believe that this spot -Okay.
-when manipulated, can create sexual feeling.
-That's my penis.
-You don't have to tell me.
[Ron.]
Which sent him into his crisis [doctor.]
I can get hard, so let's focus on you.
of masculinity.
Hey, these are from the ladies across the bar.
-They're primas.
-[George Sr.
.]
Primos, huh? I've gotta be honest, I've seen better.
Huh? Eh.
No, it means cousins.
One hates her father, and the other hates her grandfather.
[Ron.]
It seemed the cervezas weren't the only thing being handed to the guys on a platter.
I don't know about you, but I'd prefer the thrill of the hunt, -as opposed to -[George Sr.
.]
If we wait, something a little better will come along.
Thank you.
Not trying to fall head over heels here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not super eager to be, uh, missing somebody.
-Yeah.
-[chuckles.]
I mean, who you love.
-Place gives me the creeps.
Let's get out.
-Yeah.
It's dead.
[Ron.]
But back in America, Michael was working on a way to make his runaway family return.
So, we gotta wait about 48 hours before we declare you missing, -and then they put out an APB.
-APB.
"Aw, poor Buster.
" -That's nice.
-Well You gotta lay low long enough for Mom and Dad to hear about it.
And, pal, I would take you with me, but truth is, I just, I don't know if I'm gonna come back.
Oh.
[chuckling.]
What's so funny? You always come back to save the family.
We joke about that all the time.
Well, I don't know what the joke is.
I've been trying to do the right thing.
[laughs.]
"Hi, I'm Michael, and I save everyone so I feel special, even though you don't deserve it.
I'm leaving.
I won't be coming back.
" -Buster -"Oh! Look who's back.
I thought we were supposed to go [bleeps.]
with a [bleeps.]
.
" "Mmm, you would know, Mother.
You practically invented [bleeps.]
[bleeps.]
when you get sauced!" [gasps.]
"How dare you point that limp [bleeps.]
hook at me when I saved you from one! I can't believe I pushed you out of my [bleeps.]
, you useless [bleeps.]
freak!" -[inhales deeply.]
-Covered a lot of ground there.
Yeah.
Although I'm glad I won't be leaving you alone.
Oh, I'm going with you? No, I'm going to Mexico or something, and you gotta go to the police station.
-Oh, right.
Why do they arrest me? -They don't.
You go to the police station 'cause you say, "Heard you were looking for me.
Here I am.
" Oh, but you said a cop had questions for me.
Mm-hmm.
About Lucille 2.
And I'm not gonna answer any questions, right? -No.
Answer the questions.
-When Barry says it's okay.
Barry's not there.
No attorneys.
Just tell the truth.
Okay, like, bad example, I saw Lucille 2's lifeless body sprawled across the stair car? Perfect.
If that's what happened, tell them.
Nothing to be nervous about, okay? Lucille 2 is probably gonna be back from whatever bender she's on.
She's gonna be as dry as, uh well, Lucille 1.
I can hear Mother winking now.
So, I got some groceries.
These are gonna have to last.
You already got into the candy bears, huh? [Buster.]
This is literally one of only two things the Army warns about when they issue these.
-Let me help.
-I think they spent $27 million on the wrong guy.
Don't you say that about you.
Well Maybe you do say that.
Maybe that's important to say.
[Ron.]
And certain his mother would have to return to take responsibility for this particular son, Michael went to say goodbye to his own.
[knocking on door.]
-[phone vibrates.]
-Ooh.
Hey, I am outside your door.
I was this close to telling you.
You inside? [Lucille 2.]
Hi, it's Lucille Austero.
-No! -I've been looking for you.
-Note, I mean.
-[Lucille 2 chattering.]
I know, I'd left you a note, -and, can you hear me? -[Lucille 2 continues chattering.]
Hello? Hello? Here we go again.
Getting disconnected.
This is why you always leave a note.
Always leave a note.
Where's that from? [Ron.]
Michael discovered a note he'd already written.
[Michael.]
"Are you avoiding me? Ha ha.
Leaving town for a while.
Love you.
-Michael Bluth.
" -[Ron.]
It worked well.
But perhaps if Michael had taken a few seconds to write an original note before leaving town, he would've run into George Michael, who was coming to see him only to come across a cousin he didn't recognize.
-Hey.
Know if anyone's home? -[Steve.]
Uh, yeah, Buster's in there.
But if you're looking for Michael, you just missed him.
-[sighs.]
-Oh, so much for apologizing.
I'm telling you, he's moved on.
-Okay? You should, too.
-[Steve.]
I just found out my dad went to Mexico without telling me.
[chuckles.]
Welcome to the shitty parents club.
-No, no, we don't have kids.
-No.
[Ron.]
Although there was a kid that Maeby was eager to get away from.
You know, Mexico sounds far from Perfecto.
So that's perfect.
What do you say? Screw it! No rules.
Anything goes.
[Ron.]
A rebounding George Michael found the offer intriguing.
-Just the cousins.
-Mm-hmm.
[Ron.]
Which turned out to be -Primos! [laughs.]
-this crew.
-Why do you keep yelling that? -[laughing.]
Stop it.
Ah.
[Ron.]
Not far away, Michael was also heading to Mexico.
And after taking care of one last bit of business [Michael.]
It's Buster Bluth, that's right.
Uh, yeah, I'm completely sure he's been gone 72 hours.
As a matter of fact, his bath has grown cold.
So that's, uh, an alarm bell right there.
[Ron.]
Michael was ready to hit bottom -and go off the map.
-[Michael.]
Thanks so much.
[Ron.]
But that's hard to do when you're driving a car that makes maps.
[Michael.]
No pictures, thank you! Put your phones down.
We take the pictures.
[Ron.]
When the fleet of recovery vans arrived from the search engine Michael had been working for, he discovered that the car that takes the pictures -was no longer under his control.
-No! Window up.
-Window -Hi, I'm Dave from Mapping.
She's Lisa from Traditional Search.
-And that's Jeff.
-I'm Jeff from Earth.
-Hi.
Hi, guys.
-[Dave.]
We heard we had a runaway ostrich, and, uh, we need you to return the car.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Am I under arrest? Oh, no.
They never arrest the drivers.
They do come down pretty hard on the cars, but it's cheaper to just retrain the people instead.
It sounds super futuristic and dystopian, but it's really not.
[Ron.]
Earth was right.
Because once he had been escorted back to the impressive campus of company headquarters, Michael found himself settling into a new and generally carefree life, one that couldn't have been farther from the bottom he'd forgotten about hitting.
-[Michael grunts.]
-[Ron.]
Ironically, Michael's son had also experienced car troubles in Mexico, and he wandered across his grandfather's deserted land hoping to find a spare tire Can't believe you didn't know who I was.
-and lose a third wheel.
-Well, there's nothing we can say.
I wouldn't blame you if you took off and you don't come back.
Nah.
Primos stick together.
Oh.
"Cousin.
" It means "cousins.
" -That makes sense.
-[gunfire.]
[horse neighs.]
[Ron.]
But the land proved not to be deserted, after all.
[men shouting.]
[Ron.]
And as the menacing horsemen descended on the travelers, George Michael found himself tempted to bring up his dust allergies -We got a lot of dust.
-but hinted at them instead.
And they would soon discover -You are not welcome here.
-[horse neighs.]
Oh, so sorry, we j-- Our car broke down.
We thought we might find somebody we know.
My grandfather owns this land.
That is not what the sign says.
Mr.
Efe I am the elder here.
This is our land.
And you would be wise to never be seen here again.
Strum! [strums guitar.]
Now, if you'll excuse us, we must say buenos dÃas.
-Vamos, vamos.
-Play the guitar, old man! -Strum! Strum! -[playing guitar.]
[Ron.]
And George Michael asked the question anyone might.
Who were those scary, handsome Mexicans on those magical horses? They just looked like old white men to me.
Oh.
We should probably get out of here.
Yeah, I mean, I've got a big job on Monday, anyway.
I was gonna have to leave early, and I didn't know how to tell you.
But now we can just all go together.
[Ron.]
And that's when he saw his opening.
Never.
Never.
Are you? No.
I mean, we're Bluths.
We're gonna stay.
Maeby, too.
We're The two of us are gonna stay.
[Ron.]
And soon, being with his cousin was no longer -an obstacle -[George Michael.]
Crazy asshole.
to George Michael's hope of being with his cousin.
I was wondering how you were gonna get rid of him.
-Was I that obvious? -I just know that you don't like standing up to people on horses with guns.
No, I never really was that guy.
-Let's find a bar.
-Okay.
Yeah, I'd love that.
[Ron.]
And so, after getting out of their dusty clothes, the two did just that.
And George Michael was soon getting a real feel for the people.
Hey.
You're not gonna believe this.
I met these guys that are actually from Orange County.
And two of them also go to UCI.
Two of them are named Noah, but not the two that you'd think.
-Cool? -Really cool.
They're staying here, renting a place while they do this language course.
We could stay with them.
I'm thinking about heading back.
N Wait, look.
If this is about me firing you from Fakeblock, there's something you should know.
Fakeblock doesn't actually exist.
Are you telling me that the software that's supposed to keep people's computers unhackable and keep any kind of information private doesn't exist? How did you find out? It was easy.
I just looked in your computer under "Secrets.
" Oh, you looked in my "Please Don't Read" folder? No, that one was empty.
I found it in "Just Odds and Ends.
" Great, you got past my double bluff.
It's okay, George Michael.
You worry too much.
Yeah, that keeps me up at night, actually.
I just feel like I gotta move on with my life, you know? Find some meaning.
Get going with my own goop.
Goop? What is goop? If you have to ask, you probably don't know what it is.
I don't know what it is.
I feel like maybe you don't know what it is.
Maybe it's "go-op"? To me, that would make less sense.
Maybe that's what "go-op" is.
Not everything always making sense.
[Ron.]
It isn't.
Meanwhile, George Sr.
and G.
O.
B.
continued trying to out-goop each other.
I won't tell Mom about all the ladies you're [bleeps.]
if you don't tell Mom about all the ladies I'm [bleeps.]
.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Look at that one coming up.
Where, where? Oh, my God.
Oh, she's hot.
She's so hot.
Dibs! No, no, no, Daddy saw her first.
-Daddy dibs.
-She got a friend or? She's got a friend! That's a friend? [G.
O.
B.
.]
Bush.
Trash bag and bush.
-Thought it was a woman.
-Yeah.
-Like, hunched over, right? -Yeah.
Like, with the I wanted to do her so bad.
Wow.
I mean, I And I really liked her friend.
Me, I liked her, too.
-That was a ten-gallon Hefty sack? -Oh, yeah.
-Yeah, a ten.
Definitely a ten.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
Nice.
I like.
I like a ten.
[Ron.]
And Lucille, at the behest of her court-mandated therapist, -was struggling to make sense of things.
-Am I horrible for saying these things? No.
But I was doing the math, and I still think you're gonna have a problem with this final "raped murderer.
" But who cares about him? Oh, this is pointless.
How many more sessions do I have to endure until I'm done with -no offense you? -[chuckles.]
Legally, two.
But I am in the family.
I mean this is my family.
My daughter is divorcing you.
This is it.
I'm confused by the word "it.
" Are you implying that you don't want to see me anymore? I'm confused by the word "anymore.
" There are many things I can do for this family.
You've lost touch with your daughter.
Put me in, for God sakes.
-I thought this was my time.
-It is your time.
Yes, yes.
But as your therapist, I'm pointing out that I know that you build these walls to keep out, for instance, your surviving children-in-law.
Oh, don't talk to me about walls.
That's why we're in this mess.
My husband buys land so we can get a contract to build a little something on the border.
A-a wall.
And we did everything right.
[Ron.]
Well, not everything.
They did buy land on the border -You live here? -to sell back to the government.
-The check.
-[Ron.]
And they paid off -a politician -I am gonna put this on my wall.
to stir up xenophobia.
We have got to build a wall between us and Mexico.
-Yeah, yeah.
-[Ron.]
Of course, they made -a few rookie mistakes.
-I bribed Love to get the wall, and I don't have the land to build it on! [Ron.]
Well, they had it.
It was just on the wrong side of the border.
Which they might have known had George's brother Oscar -not burned the signs.
-It's okay to burn these? Well, this is America.
They don't want us to burn signs, they shouldn't write 'em in Spanish.
[Ron.]
And so, Lucille did what her own government might do.
Who better than the Chinese to help us build a wall, right? -[Ron.]
She borrowed from the Chinese.
-That's good enough.
-[crying.]
-[Ron.]
Of course, none of this -was okay with the woman -How dare you?! -who owned a majority stake -Lucille -in the company.
-Two I can't be running a company that's building a wall I campaigned against! [Ron.]
And with their politician out of the race, their future looked bleak.
So, unless some angel descends on a golden chariot, we're completely over-leveraged.
And maybe you don't want to get hurt because, as I say, hurt people hurt people.
Oh, that's nice.
I always say, "Make people cry, make people cry.
" But yours includes the people who don't want to give you the satisfaction.
[Ron.]
Tobias decided to err on the side of Lucille keeping him on as a therapist.
You know what, let's lock that in there.
And I'd say we've made some real good progress today.
Yes.
[chuckles.]
I really think this is working.
Swimming! Hurt people, hurt people.
[Ron.]
Lindsay had also made it to Mexico, and was enjoying the fact that men were more respectful.
[bartender.]
Puta Night is Thursday.
-That's so nice.
No, I'm not.
-[Ron.]
That was based on her belief -that "puta" meant "young.
" -No.
Puta.
[whispers.]
I try to stay out of the sun.
[Ron.]
And that's when she saw what appeared to be -a Mexican version of her father.
-[Lindsay.]
Oh, my God.
Lindsay.
What are you doing here? Guess I just had to get away.
I was just ordering lunch.
Can I buy you lunch? Oh, yeah.
I'm so hungry, I could eat.
[Ron.]
Lindsay's daughter, meanwhile, discovered that her trip back home -This is as far as we go.
-took a detour.
[Maeby.]
Oh.
-You live here? -No.
These people have nothing.
We are lucky.
We have next to nothing.
We are helping these people because nobody else will.
They've been kicked out of the only country they've ever known because of the cruelty of your president Barack Obama.
Their old country is their mother, new country is their father.
Imagine if your mother and your father did not want you.
So, you're trying to, like, teach them a lesson or? We're volunteers.
Who did you think the water was for? Oh.
[chuckles.]
I thought you were just trying to get me to give you a higher Uber rating.
[Ron.]
And Maeby decided to stay and help.
George Michael, meanwhile, settled into a different kind of "south of the border" lifestyle.
[George Michael.]
Mexico.
It's like being in the Spanish dorms of the UCI sister campus in Spain all over again.
[Ron.]
He was noticing subtle differences in the cuisine.
God, the salt is different here.
It's fatter or something, right? -We're from Orange County.
-[Ron.]
He reached out to locals.
Dude, I'm from San Diego.
They want everyone to think we're Mexican.
-My name's Noah.
-[Ron.]
He met another Noah.
-[George Michael.]
Noah, get over here.
-[Ron.]
Noah met another Noah.
-[laughs.]
What up, dawg? -[Ron.]
And soon five, I want to say, indistinguishable Americans -had Mexico on its heels.
-You didn't know this was Noah? -[Ron.]
They saw foreign films.
-I'm glad someone had the guts to give the Minions their own movie.
It's great because it's subtitled in Spanish, but we don't have to read.
It's in English.
If you don't want to see 'em, you can block 'em.
[Ron.]
Started trends.
They discovered charming native communities where local artisans peddled their wares.
-[George Michael sighs.]
Mexico.
-[Ron.]
Adopted customs like the midday break, or siesta.
Yes! Who left the air conditioning on? -Oh, me.
I never left.
-[Ron.]
And while George Michael -was enjoying his status quo -[George Michael.]
Why'd we go out? Lucille was on the verge of an emotional breakthrough that could possibly change her life.
and our whole life is turned upside down.
This is my time.
Your session ended.
-[Ron.]
That's when she heard something -[shushing.]
that would definitely change her life.
[reporter.]
candidate descended the escalator into the lobby.
I will build a great, great wall on our southern border.
-[crowd cheering.]
-Which was my idea! And I will have Mexico pay for that wall.
-[applause.]
-Okay.
That is a clever twist.
[Ron.]
Michael had been at Search for a month.
In that time, he'd developed himself physically And then lunge.
Duck, sweep the leg, lunge.
been given a new company car.
Ted, I think you see your daughter coming.
You're not expecting this, but she's coming in hot -with a right -[Ron.]
He'd gotten to teach a class he'd successfully persuaded management to try out.
Mona, I know your husband's down, he probably needs medical attention, but you got another son on your flank.
And, everybody, we're going to duck, sweep the leg, and lunge.
And he comes back again.
And we sweep the leg and lunge.
That's great.
Everybody put down your cactus.
Let's all huddle up.
Okay, now that you're loose, we're gonna do some Mom Attacks Son, we're gonna do Dad Attacks Daughter, and then we're gonna do Dad Attacks Mom [Ron.]
But he still felt something was missing from his life -when he found a way to satisfy a dream.
-[Michael.]
Wow, satisfy an old dream.
Boy, do you really have to spend 1,000 bucks on the gear, though? -Not if you have your own.
-Mm.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, not here, but I could drive home and get it.
Course, I could see my family.
[Ron.]
A family Michael hadn't seen in some time.
So he decided Ah, what the heck.
For 1,000 bucks, it's worth the risk, huh? [Ron.]
Michael returned to a model home he left in some disgrace.
And he wasn't particularly proud of what he did next.
[in Spanish accent.]
Hola.
Window cleaner! [Buster.]
I shall be neither seen nor heard.
-[Tobias.]
I blue myself.
-[Lindsay.]
It's vodka.
It goes bad once it's opened.
[G.
O.
B.
.]
I heard the jury's still out on science.
-[Ron.]
It was an emotional moment.
-[Michael.]
Window cleaner! [Ron.]
Until right at the end there.
And that's when he found a letter from Lucille 2.
[in normal voice.]
She forgave the debt.
[Ron.]
And feeling bad that he'd been forgiven by someone he wanted to forget, he decided to thank her in person.
But, tired of hiding, he decided -to say hello to his own family.
-Hello? [G.
O.
B.
.]
Speech! Speech! [Lucille.]
You're my third least favorite child.
[Buster.]
like a Motherboy Ball.
[Ron.]
And when they weren't home, he found himself missing them.
[George Michael.]
I should ask if she wants to get pre-pre-engaged.
-Lucille 2? -[Lucille.]
I want that pie covered.
-And not with your face.
-Hello? -[squeals.]
Told you he'd come! -[George Sr.
.]
Hey! -It's on, it's on, it's on.
-[excited chatter.]
-Look at him fighting me! -G.
O.
B.
! -I haven't seen you in a year! -It's been two months.
Get your hands off.
Oh, yeah? What's the last thing you remember us doing? -What do you remember? -What? No.
[thud.]
-[George Sr.
.]
Enough! -[Ron.]
Michael Bluth -gets up.
-A lot of hands down there.
-They weren't my hands.
-[chuckles.]
Oh.
Okay.
Harmless bathhousing amongst brothers, yes? -[chuckles.]
-[Ron.]
And George Michael dips his toe -into the Mexican nightlife.
-Guys, it's 9:00.
Gives us 30 minutes till they shut down that last machine at Pinkberry.