Garfield and Friends (1988) s05e02 Episode Script

- (Announcer) Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and Friends. - We're. - We're.
- Ready. - Ready.
- To. - To.
- (All) Party.
We're ready to party, we're ready ♪
I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪
- (Wade) I'm scared.
Come on in, come to the place where fun ever ends ♪
Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪
- Dancing. - Fiesta.
- Romancing. - Siesta.
- Samba. - La Bamba.
- (All) Ay caramba.
- Disguises. - Disguises.
- Surprises. - Surprises.
- And pies of-- - And pies of--
- (All) All sizes.
(shouting)
Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪
Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪
Garfield and Friends
- (Garfield) The following is made possible
by a grant from the Lasagna Manufacturers of America.
(upbeat music)
(slow upbeat music)
- Odie, remember how unorganized I always was?
- (Odie) Mm-hmm.
- Well, that's why I got this expensive
day-watcher appointment book.
It lists everything I have to do
and what time I have to do it.
Listen.
Ahem, nine o'clock, feed cat, 10 o'clock, feed cat,
11 o'clock, feed cat, noon, feed cat.
One o'clock
You know, I'm beginning to notice a trend here.
- Hm?
- Two o'clock, feed cat, 2:30, feed cat, 2:45
- (Garfield) Here, let me check
your appointment book for you.
What time is it?
4:27, okay, let's see what's on the schedule.
4:27, 4:27, four
Ah, here it is.
Well how about that, feed cat.
Don't just sit there, Arbuckle, it's time to feed the cat.
Hey, don't get mad at me.
It's your schedule.
- Maybe someday you'll appreciate
what a good thing you have here.
- (Garfield) Hey, it's not like there aren't plenty of folks
out there who wouldn't love an adorable pussycat.
I'll make a list of new places to live.
Let's see, Acme Tuna Fish Cannery.
Luigi's Lasagna Drive-Thru.
- There you are, Fluffy.
Oh, I'm so glad to see you, my Fluffy.
- (Garfield) I'm not your Fluffy.
I'm nobody's Fluffy.
Let me go.
- I've missed you so since you ran away, Fluffy.
- (Garfield) I'm not Fluffy.
I'm about as un-Fluffy as a cat gets.
Put me down.
- And I have a huge dinner waiting at home for you, Fluffy.
- (Garfield) How many times do I have to tell you,
I am not Fluffy, I am
Huge dinner?
Meow. Purr purr, meow.
- Now, that's a good cat, Fluffy.
Let's go home and feed you.
- (Garfield) Purring sounds.
Meow.
Yeah I know, I sell out easy.
(cheerful music)
- (Elderly Woman) Here we are, Fluffy, home sweet home.
- (Garfield) Bring on the chow.
Fluffy's famished.
- Here you go, Fluffy, a nice bowl of yummy,
delicious cat food for you.
(sniffing)
- (Garfield) No one has ever been that hungry.
Soy bean extract, calcium carbonate,
manganous oxide, sodium bisulphate.
Hey, this isn't dinner.
It's a chemistry experiment.
- It's low-cal cat food.
You've put on a few pounds, Fluffy.
You know how to stay healthy, huh?
- (Garfield) Yeah, you don't poke Fluffy in the tummy.
Okay, I'm outta here.
I'm going someplace where the menu
includes the names of foods.
- Fluffy is acting very strange.
I wonder what's gotten into him.
A mouse, it's a mouse.
There's a mouse in my house.
- (Garfield) I hope he has better luck
finding food than I did.
- You have to catch that mouse, Fluffy.
- (Garfield) Let go.
I don't do mice.
- He went in there.
Go in after him, Fluffy.
- (Garfield) Not for all the cheese in Switzerland.
Just 'cause can't I talk, she doesn't listen to me.
- Get in there, Fluffy.
Get that mouse.
(squelching)
- (Garfield) I'm beginning to figure out
why Fluffy ran away.
Hey, is there another way out?
(shouting)
- (Mouse) A cat.
- (Garfield) Hey, come back.
I just want directions out of this place
and to a good Italian restaurant.
- (Mouse) That's what they all say.
- Bad mouse.
Out of my house, you rat.
- (Garfield) Why, ow, don't you believe, ow,
that I just, ow, wanna get, ow, outta here?
Ow.
- (Mouse) You don't wanna devour me?
- (Garfield) Ha, nothing personal, but yuck.
Just tell me how to get outta here.
- (Mouse) Well, the other cat went that way,
past those heating ducts.
- (Garfield) Other cat?
(playfully tense music)
Dr. Fluffy, I presume.
I don't blame you for hiding.
Listen, if you can just tell me--
- Fluffy, oh Fluffy.
Well, where did that cat go now?
- (Fluffy) She'll find me.
- (Garfield) I'm more afraid she'll find me.
Why don't you
Wait, listen.
(playfully tense music)
- (Elderly Woman) My dear Fluffy has run away again.
Doesn't he know how much I miss him?
That I love him so much?
(sniffling)
- (Fluffy) Well, if you love me so much,
why do you keep feeding me gravel and calling it cat food?
- (Garfield) Hey, if I could improve the cuisine
around here, would you go back?
- (Fluffy) I guess so, yeah.
Yeah, I would.
- (Garfield) Come on.
I got a deal to make with a mouse.
Okay, you remember your part.
- (Mouse) Got it.
- There you are, Fluffy.
Oh, Fluffy, where have you been?
I'm never gonna let you out of my sight again.
- (Garfield) Ahem.
- A mouse.
There's another mouse here.
Fluffy, catch it.
Why won't you catch the mouse?
Pizza Person, free home delivery.
You want a pizza for catching the mouse?
- (Garfield) You got it, sis.
- Anything, anything to get rid of that mouse.
Hello, Pizza Person?
I'd like to get a pizza delivered.
Your pizza is here, Fluffy.
- (Garfield) And here's your mouse.
- Fluffy, you're wonderful.
(playful music)
(screaming)
- Another mouse.
Fluffy.
(lips smacking)
Fluffy, there's another mouse in the house.
You've gotta get rid of it.
Lucky Bivoda Chinese Food?
Fluffy, there's another one.
- (Fluffy) Do you have the moo goo gai pan?
- (Garfield) Trade you for the Kung Pao shrimp.
- (Elderly Woman) Fluffy.
- (Garfield) Your turn.
- Fluffy, there's another mouse in the house.
- Jose's Home Taco Service?
Got it.
(upbeat music)
- (Fluffy) Oh Garfield, I'm finally getting real food here.
How can I thank you?
- (Garfield) Half the crispy noodles.
Here, have an egg roll.
- (Mouse) Thanks.
- (Garfield) I'll be leaving after the tacos get here.
I have to get home and find a mouse who can act.
Any more of the fried rice?
(cheerful music)
(upbeat music)
- Garfield, you're out of shape.
- (Garfield) Nonsense,
I watch 30 minutes of aerobics each day.
- So, I bought you these jogging shoes.
- (Garfield) Hope you kept the receipt.
- These shoes are built to absorb shocks.
- (Garfield) He's right, I hardly felt that.
(cheerful music)
(playful orchestral music)
- Why do I have to be the trunk?
- It fits.
- Sh, someone's coming.
(laughing)
(muffled shouting)
What did you say?
- I said (muffled shouting)
- Oh, that's what I thought you said.
(orchestral rock music)
- The place is full of veggies.
(alarm blaring)
- Do you remember the drill, Booker?
- I know what I'm supposed to do.
- And I know what I'm supposed to do.
- (Wade) And I know what I'm supposed to do.
Help, help, silo alarm.
Help, oh, help.
Double help.
- Yep, that's what he's supposed to do.
Come on.
- Grab what you can and let's get outta here.
(grunting)
- You're not leaving with those vegetables.
(cackling)
Did anybody get the license number of those pigs?
(rock music) (laughing)
(siren wailing)
- We ain't got a car, sir.
We're a bunch of pigs disguised as a car
in order to steal rutabagas.
- That's the third time today I heard that excuse.
- You were supposed to be guarding the harvest.
- I suppose you could do a better job?
- I could.
But I have to work digging a new well.
We're real short on rain again this year.
- But, Mr. Policeman, sir.
- Do we have to pay these tickets?
- Do we?
- Yes, you do.
I've never seen anyone go that fast on this road.
- (Wade) Help, help, duck in a panic.
- Until now.
(siren wailing)
- We gotta get back there
and get the rest of those veggie-tables.
- And I got a plan on hows we can do that.
- Okay, you wanna trade jobs?
We'll trade jobs.
You find water and I'll guard the harvest.
- You have a deal, piggo.
I will have no trouble finding water.
No trouble at all.
- No lucking finding H2O, Roy?
- Not a drop, ducky.
- Maybe we can make it rain.
- Oh, that's impossible.
You can't just make it rain.
- Did I hear somebody say they want to make it rain?
My friend, this is your lucky day.
Because I am the exclusive regional distributor
of the Schlocko Dance-o-Matic Weather Robot.
Observe.
There it is, the Schlocko Dance-o-Matic Weather Robot.
Whatever kind of weather you want,
you just tell the Dance-o-Matic
and it does the appropriate rain dance,
snow dance, or whatever.
- The rooster is skeptical.
- And I don't blame you.
Here is a free demonstration.
Robot, rain.
(beeping)
- (Robot) Rain.
(whistling)
- Hey, how about that?
It's raining.
Wait a minute, Roy, am I afraid of rain?
- You are afraid of everything.
- That's right.
Here I go again, folks.
Help, help, rain, water coming down from the sky.
Precipitation alert.
- Very impressive.
- You haven't seen anything yet.
Robot, snow.
- (Robot) Snow.
(whistling)
- Wow.
I'll take it.
- I'm guarding the vegetables from my brothers.
- But who's working on our rain problem?
- Roy.
- Roy?
Oh, this I gotta see.
- Thanks, pal.
See ya.
- Here comes the rain.
(chuckling)
Robot, rain.
Robot, rain.
Rain, you bucket of bolts.
- (Robot) Bucket of bolts.
(whistling)
(tires squealing)
- I wanted rain, you overgrown vacuum cleaner.
- (Robot) Overgrown vacuum cleaner.
(whistling)
- I want rain, do you hear me?
Rain, rain, rain.
He's gonna make me yell until I'm hoarse.
- (Robot) Horse.
(whistling)
- I gotta get away from that robot.
(piano music)
(panting)
I'm really up a tree.
- (Robot) Tree.
(whistling)
(groaning)
- I gotta get someplace I'll be safe.
- (Robot) Safe.
- Oh boy.
(whistling)
- (Roy) Left, 17.
Right, 32.
Left, six.
- Orson, I have a feeling that your brothers
are lurking around.
- What makes you think my brothers are lurking around?
(wood crashing) (shouting)
- Well, there's your first clue right there.
- You guys can't steal our vegetables.
- Sure we can.
Watch.
- Boy, it sure looks like they can steal our vegetables.
(grunting)
- (Orson) We have to stop them.
- There's Roy.
Roy will stop them.
- You really think so?
- Not a chance, I had a moment of foolish optimism.
- I'm gonna pound this rooster.
- May I say one last thing?
- Sure, go ahead.
- 27 pianos.
(piano music) - 27 pianos?
- 27 pianos?
- 27 pianos?
- (Robot) 27 pianos.
(whistling)
(pianos crashing)
- 23.
24, 25.
26. And 27.
- Nice going, Roy.
- Maybe you should go back to guard duty
and I'll work on the irrigation.
- Oh, don't think I can handle it?
Well, I can take a hint.
I don't need a house to fall on me.
- (Robot) House.
(whistling)
- Maybe we'd better trade jobs.
- (Robot) Trade jobs.
(whistling)
(upbeat music)
(easygoing music)
(snoring)
(Odie grumbling)
- (Garfield) Excuse me, don't you see the sign?
It says, no fetching the stick.
(grunting)
Okay.
If I throw the stick, will you promise to leave me alone?
- Yeah, yeah.
- (Garfield) You absolutely, positively promise
that if I throw the stick just this once,
you will not bother me again all day?
- Uh-uh.
- (Garfield) All right.
Garfield on the mound.
He gets the sign.
Now here's the windup.
And the pitch.
(barking)
It must be nice to be able to get so much joy
out of something so non-fattening.
(soothing music)
(grunting)
(sniffing)
- Bernie, baby, there's no talking me out of it.
I'm giving up the act.
Forget it, there's no jobs out there for a magician anymore.
I'm quitting.
I'm even throwing away my wand.
(sniffing)
(grunting)
- (Odie) Hm?
Huh?
- Drum roll, please.
(drum rolling)
Ta-da.
Bye-bye.
(barking) (playful music)
(giggling)
(growling)
(screaming)
(snoring)
- (Garfield) For me?
A lasagna so big it has its own zip code?
Oh, you shouldn't have.
(panting)
Someone is back with the stick.
Go away.
- Ah.
- (Garfield) We had a deal.
I throw, you go.
Scram.
That dog.
There must be someplace I can trade him in
for a doughnut or something.
Doughnut.
I keep doing that to myself.
Now I have to have one.
(yawning)
A nice doughnut.
Maybe a chocolate one.
Or a glaze.
(crash)
(majestic tones)
(exotic music)
Oh, my life's getting in a rut.
Every day, it's the same thing.
I get up, I head for the kitchen, I walk under the camel,
I pick out a doughnut, I walk back under the camel again,
I head back for my bed.
I eat the doughnut, I
I
I get up, I head for the kitchen,
I walk under the camel, I
Under the camel?
(mystical tones)
Odie, did you see that it is,
it was, what was it here, it was, but it's, oh well.
Okay, I guess I'll eat my doughnut.
(mystical tones)
(frog croaking)
My doughnut just croaked.
Gah.
Odie, do you know what's going on here?
- (Odie) Uh-uh.
- Don't lie at me with that doggy face.
You do know.
(grumbling)
Odie, what are you hiding?
(rock music) (mystical tones)
You're in big trouble now, pup.
You're trapped, dog.
All right, Odie, what do you have to say for yourself?
(mystical tones)
(screaming)
(roaring)
Help. Help.
(mystical tones)
- Hi, guys, what's happening?
- (Garfield) There's a tiger, a big one,
with stripes and it growls.
And then there was a camel.
And my doughnut turned into a frog.
And there's a wild ravenous beast coming.
Look, look.
Get back, it's a wild animal.
It's a dangerous, sharp-toothed, it's a beast,
and it's, it's, it's Odie.
- I don't understand the cat.
I don't understand the dog.
I don't understand anything.
(grumbling)
- (Garfield) No, I will not throw the stick.
Every day, hour after hour, do you do anything constructive?
No.
It's throw the stick so you can fetch it.
Throw the stick so you can fetch it.
What a useless, ridiculous waste of time,
throwing a stick so a minus mind like you
can bring it back just so I can throw it again.
Well, I'm through throwing the stick for you, Odie.
I will never throw the stick again.
I will, I will
Odie, do you know what this is?
(Odie grunting)
No, it's not a stick.
It's a wand, a magic wand.
Do you realize what I can do with this?
(Odie grunting)
No, I will not throw it so you can fetch it.
Odie, I have magic power in my hand.
Anything I want, anything I've ever dreamed of,
it's all mine.
No matter what I want for dinner,
one wave of the wand and it's mine, just like that.
And whenever I wake up and find that it's, ugh, Monday,
I can just wave the wand and poof, Christmas.
(sleigh bells jingling)
Oh, and if I run into someone I don't want on my show,
I just wave the wand and zap,
they'll be transported to some other show.
And speaking of my show, I can wave my wand
and fix it so my show is the only thing on every channel.
Everything I've ever wanted and it's all mine
because of this wand.
What's your wish, Odie?
(Odie grunting)
No, I will not throw the stick so you can fetch it.
Do you understand?
I'm never throwing the stick again.
(Odie groaning)
I think I'll step out tonight
and enjoy my newfound wealth and power.
Hey, not bad.
All I need's a top hat.
Perfect.
(playful music)
Hey, come back with that.
Give me back the wand.
(giggling)
Aw.
I had it all.
Everything.
Fame, fortune, food, high ratings.
(Odie grunting)
Okay, here we go.
(barking)
From now on, I throw every stick he brings in,
at least until he brings back another magic wand.
(upbeat music)