Lovejoy (1986) s05e02 Episode Script

( Classical music plays) (Woman) Arms up! Follow me.
Chin up, Julia, dear.
Taut lines.
Very good.
Miss Robiette, Jane's old dancing teacher.
Stomachs in, heads out, and bend and up! Let's see happy faces.
Don't do that if it hurts, Monica.
All right.
All right, let's start again.
- (Crow caws) - (Piano plays) You can get arrested for that, you know.
And you can get arrested for that and all.
Ah, Major Tink trained as a dancer, you know.
- (Phone rings) - Oh, excuse me.
- (Piano stops) - Well done, my children, all of you.
Angelina.
And Monica, dear.
Same time on Tuesday? And, Eric, will you get yourself some proper footwear, dear, please? Eric? Oh, I have to go, Lovejoy, sorry.
- What, go now? - Mm, I've got got to be somewhere.
Not now.
We're working.
You got us into this.
Oh, well, I didn't know she'd keep us waiting, did I? Look, the mirror's there.
It's all straightforward.
You can deal with it.
What, you mean do what I like? Make the decisions? Well, don't you always? So you'll take it to Smallman-Smith and get it valued, will you? I mean, it is a mirror shop.
It's the obvious thing to do.
- I'm not just the removal man.
- I have to go.
Give my apologies, please, and I'll catch up with you later.
It's gone, Monica.
It's not there anymore.
But it's still in the house.
Not for long.
This kind gentleman has come to take it away.
- Trouble, Monica? - Oh, please take it away.
It's evil! (Screams) And I'll be going as well, Miss Robiette.
Oh, yes, thank you, Mrs.
Gleghorn.
I I'll see you on Tuesday.
If it's gone, you'll see me.
If the house is rid of it.
(Miss Robiette) Jane was such a promising pupil.
- Hm? - She could have gone far, you know.
Oh, Jane.
Yes, she's a very talented girl.
But Monica? Tell me tell me about Monica.
Monica.
Oh, dear, yes.
(Chuckles) Willful, stubborn, attention-seeking Monica.
First she said the eye was following her about, accusing her of things.
Then she started seeing things in the mirror.
- What sort of things? - The souls of drowning sailors.
Pirates, she claimed.
This this a relative of yours? One of the ancestors, the wicked admiral.
Does Monica know about your sea connections? - I don't keep it a secret.
- Any pirates in the family? (Laughs) I think he was a bit of a pirate in his day.
But it is Monica who's threatening mutiny now, and when she got Mrs.
Gleghorn on her side well, I buckled, removed the thing, as you see.
- And you need Monica, right? - I need Monica, Lovejoy.
She's wealthy and so are all her little friends.
If she goes they all go, and I should have to shut down.
This is very beautiful, you know.
Is there a story behind it? Well, my family's part French and it's rumored that this came from a French ship which was wrecked off the Scilly Isles some time in the 18th century.
What do you see in it, Lovejoy? - Doomed mariners? - Hm? (Chuckles) Does it radiate evil and mischief? - Oh! - Hm? Ah, those are, um (Chuckles) Miss Robiette, those are my two removal men.
Are you sure you want to get rid of this family treasure? It's not just a generous act towards a willful child that you'll regret later? I take your point, but it's not just Monica.
It's getting to me now.
It's beginning to haunt me.
(Clock chiming) Ooh, and I shall need a replacement, something that blends with the room.
Not too expensive.
- Ooh, and - Yeah? - When you go to choose it - What? could you take Monica? (Tinker) You know, little Monica's not entirely wrong about doomed souls.
It's an ancient belief that man's reflection was his soul.
When he was ill they'd cover up the mirrors to prevent the soul from leaving the body.
So what have we got here without the mysticism? Well the frame is carved gilt wood.
Mid-18th century.
Probably Louis XV.
The eye in the triangle usually represents God the Father and the Holy Trinity from Renaissance imagery.
- I don't know a lot about mirrors.
- Smallman-Smith does.
Him? I'd watch him.
If it's worth a penny, he'll have it off you.
No, he won't.
(Sighs) Where's Janey? Did she tell either of you where she was going? She just drove past without a backward glance.
She got us into this.
(Tuts) You know, if you look at yourself in a mirror long enough and hard enough, you slowly get the feeling that you don't know who you are anymore.
I see what you mean.
- (Birdsong) - (Dog barking) - She's home.
- Well, that's something.
Janey! Janey? - Lovejoy, just suppose - Suppose what? Janey, come out, wherever you are.
(Whispers) Suppose it's an inconvenient moment.
- What? - L'amour dans I'après-midi.
L'amour dans I'après-midi! - Love in the afternoon! - I know what it means, Tink.
A gentleman caller, perhaps? Yeah, well, this is still a working afternoon, Tink.
Janey! (Clang) Lovejoy! Oh! You in here, Janey? You decent? (Vehicle departing) Who was driving? Well, who do you think's driving? Hm.
So, she slipped down the backstairs, eh, Tink? Avoiding us, Lovejoy.
So, Eric, what did she say? - Who are we talking about? - Jane, of course.
I don't think she saw me.
I was coming round the corner.
She was driving off in a hurry.
- She must have known we were here.
- Perhaps she didn't hear the gong.
Well, I heard the gong.
Half the county heard the gong.
Well, it's her life.
I can do without her.
Come on.
Pity I didn't see who the passenger was, really.
Excuse me.
Passenger? - You never said.
- You never asked.
- What passenger? - Just some bloke.
Aha! The gentleman caller.
Mm.
Ha-ha-ha! - How much did you say? - Three thousand, madam.
It's rather a lot.
- Yes, but you see - I can't see.
That's the point.
I mean, what's the point of a mirror if you can't see yourself? But this is the original glass, madam, which is what makes it so special.
- (Shop bell) - For who? A blind man? A collector.
And the drawers are very neat.
- (Eric) Right, you got it? - OK, Eric.
Yeah.
(Smallman-Smith) You see? For makeup jars.
And behind them more drawers.
For the most private of private letters.
Oh, yes, I can see their use.
(Sighs) Even so, I don't know.
I mean, it's not that I'm vain or anything.
God knows my house is full of mirrors.
It is quite tempting.
Leave me alone with it, will you? Of course, madam.
Stupid woman.
If she wants to gaze at herself, why doesn't she go to Harrods and get a reproduction? My sympathies, E.
J.
, but that's the foolishness of money.
Perhaps we can help them spread it around a bit, hm? - What's this you've brought me? - Oh, Tinker will tell you.
It's from the ballet school.
It's a beautiful frame.
Gorgeous shape.
And drawers with their own mischievous little secrets.
(Drawer slides open) What's the use if the glass has not stood the test of time? Yes, if one got some decent glass, one would be Gazing into it, just as 18th-century beauties gazed at themselves.
Well, exactly.
- And the cherubs are the messengers of God.
- Symbols of sovereignty divine.
See, this could just be the work of No, it would be too much to hope for.
I must consult.
- Will you leave it with me? - Um We do have a service, at no extra charge to you, of course, to replace the glass.
An old colleague of ours.
- Roderick - Frew.
The best in the business, madam.
If you're not satisfied with the work you're under no obligation to buy, Mrs.
Hunt.
- Well, if it's as simple as that, Mr - (Bell chiming) Oh, Lovejoy.
Just Lovejoy.
- We in business, E.
J? - I hope so, Lovejoy.
Since I've just given you the fruits of my knowledge, gratis.
And I have returned the favor, gratis.
- (Whispers) Lovejoy.
- Excuse me.
Thought this might be good for the ballet school.
- How much is it? - Fifteen thousand.
Fifteen grand? That's amazing, isn't it? A bit of old carving and my old bathroom mirror stuck on it.
- Little Monica might not like it.
- Quite.
Mr.
Smallman-Smith? Your colleague has solved my problem.
I shall have it on the terms he's offered.
- Hm.
Another satisfied customer, E.
J.
- (Vehicle approaching) - Lovejoy? - Hm? Excuse me.
- So you'll arrange it for me, will you? - If that's how you'd like it to be, Mrs.
Hunt.
All I need is your telephone number and a small deposit.
(Shop bell) - (Shop bell) - Hello, Janey.
Everything sorted? - Tickety-boo? - Yes, thank you, Lovejoy.
- Well, that's all right, then, isn't it? - Mm.
You've brought the mirror.
Mm.
This is a mirror shop.
It seemed the obvious thing to do.
- (Eric snorts) - Is it worth anything? Lovejoy, this man Frew.
I've never heard of him.
Does he exist? - Frew? - Um E.
J.
We're gonna take the toilet mirror.
Hang on to the evil eye as insurance, but don't even think about selling it unless you tell me first.
- Wait a minute.
- Don't fret, E.
J.
Everything's under control.
- You know Lady Felsham.
- Course I do.
Eric, Tink, bring the toilet mirror.
Excuse us.
Work to do, Janey, work to do.
(Shop bell) Lovejoy, whatever this is about, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to leave you to do it on your own.
I've got a tenants' meeting at five.
Double-booked? Did you lose your diary? I can drive you to the tenants' meeting.
I can drive, thank you, and you've got that to attend to.
- Lovejoy, where are we taking this? - Hamlins Boatyard.
- I rather feared we might be.
- Yeah, that Roderick Frew - Thanks, Lovejoy! - Eric, shush.
Bye, Mrs.
Hunt.
- (Door slams) - Janey! - (Sighs) We need to talk.
- Yes, well, I can't now.
- Dinner tonight after the tenants' meeting.
- Not tonight, no.
Janey, why do I get the feeling that you are avoiding me? - Not a scene, please, Lovejoy.
Not here.
- (Sounds horn) Janey, all I Yeah, yeah.
Another thing.
Felsham Hall.
Why did you leave it open to the world this morning? - I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
We came looking for you.
Door was open, no alarm on.
We strolled in.
- Eric saw you leaving with someone in the car.
- Oh, Lovejoy.
Friend of yours, was he, Janey? Lovejoy, all right, I'll see you tomorrow.
We'll talk then, I promise.
Ten o'clock at the house.
I promise.
(Sounds horn) (Lovejoy) What I'm saying is that Jane knows that we know.
But she doesn't know what we know.
Is that right? Well, what do we know? A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, Lovejoy.
There's trouble brewing.
Yeah, well, it's that evil eye business.
I'll be glad when we've got shot of it, frankly.
(Tinker) Lovejoy, do you think this Rod Frew is such a good idea? - He's in the premier league of boozers.
- Roddy! If we're looking for a steady hand on a scalpel, Lovejoy, our baby here is in for a very rough ride.
- Roddy! - (Irish accent) What ho, me lubbers! Ha-ha-ha! Just been for the milk! Reformed boozer, Tink.
But that's when they shake the most, Lovejoy.
Good Lord.
You've got something for me? God bless you! Bring it over and let's have a snifter at it! Milk! A dry ship now, Tink.
Doctor's orders.
How's your liver? Ha-ha-ha! Now, what have we here? Oh, my.
She's a beauty.
But the lady who bought it puts herself before beauty.
Isn't that just the way of things, Roddy? Ah, women.
They're all vanity.
- So what does she want? Modern glass? - You guessed it.
But the lady gets to keep her drawers.
(Snorts) Well, you know the game, Roddy.
Save the old glass, reframe it and pop it back on the shelf for the next vain lady that comes along.
And the carousel starts over.
I'm on for it.
- What do these things fetch now? - That one? Three grand.
They're not all like this, Lovejoy.
Genuine toilet mirrors are thin on the ground.
As long as the old glass and the frame match the period, doesn't matter who stuck them together.
You won't get away with that, Lovejoy.
Oh, yes, we will, Eric.
- What's the cut? - Five hundred.
- Shop owner willing? - Won't mind.
- He can't shift a wing mirror at the moment.
- Right.
It's frames we want.
Early 18th-century English.
22 inches by 14.
- Right, he got that.
22 by 14.
Tink? - 22 by 14.
- Eric? Eyes skinned.
- Well, semi-skinned.
(Snorts) Nice to see you're looking so well, Roddy.
Back in a couple of days.
Huh! (Eric) So why does he wear an eye patch? (Tink) To attract the ladies, Eric.
He's had five wives already.
(Eric) You'd have thought that was enough for anyone, wouldn't you? - Coming? - No, see you later.
(Eric) Right, fancy a pint of milk, then? (Owl hoots) - (Thunder) - Normally I wouldn't be doing this.
I mean, a lady's entitled to her privacy and all that.
But, er Janey lying? L'amour dans I'après-midi? Love in the afternoon? Gentlemen callers? (Tuts) (Thunder) - (Thunder) - (Rain falling) (Alarm ringing) No, but the funny thing about mirrors, you see, is their - Symbolical significance? - Dark side, I was gonna say, actually.
All that "soul is the reflection" stuff.
- You mean Monica's mariners? - Well, do you believe that? Do you believe that a mirror can be more than just a mirror? That it can that it can store memories? You mean the mirror as witness to the murder, and tormentor of the guilty conscience? Or or here's another one.
The mirror that sees the reflection of, let's say, King Charles I.
- Pretty small mirror.
- Why? He was about four foot six, Charles I.
- (Mouthing) - With or without his head? Without his head, he'd be three foot nine.
No, but the point is, can value be added to a mirror if it has seen the reflection of a famous person? Or is it merely What did you say? A bland and dispassionate recorder of men's vanities.
Or or, as I believe and Monica believes, can it be actively manevolent? Er malevolent! Drunk.
Hello, hello, hello.
So that's who it is.
- Alexander.
- Lovejoy.
- Was that you last night prowling about? - You're supposed to be in Hong Kong.
Yes, I'm sorry, but I haven't got time to chat.
You yesterday, wasn't it? With Jane, avoiding me.
Now look here.
I don't have to justify my actions to you or anyone.
This is my house and Jane and I are still married.
Well, legally anyway.
What does that mean? I haven't come back here to reclaim her, if that's what you're thinking.
Yesterday was a business matter purely between myself and Jane.
Do I make myself clear? What sort of business? I'm sure she'll tell you, Lovejoy, in good time.
Now pull up, will you, and let me out.
There's a good chap.
So, who kicks off? Oh don't rush me, Lovejoy.
You arranged the fixture.
Please.
- Alex was here.
- Last night.
Last night? So it was you skulking about.
I was just checking up on you, Janey.
He was here yesterday afternoon, too.
Wasn't he? That phone call at the dancing academy.
That was to arrange the rendezvous, the, er tryst.
(Snorts) I didn't know you knew such words.
It's all right.
I I don't mind, as long as you come clean, hm? I mean, we don't have any secrets from each other.
Do we? Hm? I mean, what is it? Well, what is it? He he wants you back? You want him back? No.
You have a right to know.
Of course you do.
I'm sorry.
I avoided you yesterday when you rang that wretched gong, because, well, it just wasn't the right moment.
It never is.
(Sighs) What has happened is Well, let me try and explain as calmly as I can.
Alex is financially ruined.
I mean ruined.
He's had a disaster on the markets.
He's lost everything.
He came back to break the news to me in person.
Which in the circumstances was rather brave of him, actually.
Wiped out? Completely? Alex? Hm? So when did you find this out? I had an inkling from the lawyers on Monday.
Why didn't you tell me? Because I only learnt the full implications from Alex yesterday.
So how will this affect you? It means that Felsham is in the hands of the receiver and must be sold together with the contents in order to pay his debts.
And so I am no longer effectively the lady of the manner.
No, no, no.
It can't affect you.
You're an innocent party.
They can't kick you out.
Oh, yes, they can.
What scraps there are, well they're being thrashed out by the lawyers.
But that part of it well, quite honestly, it doesn't concern me.
Eric! Remember little Monica.
Come along.
Trying to find an 18th-century frame measuring exactly 14 by 22 is one of the more hopeless tasks I've had to do, especially when the shops are shut.
What's this? It's from my Auntie Rosamund's dressing table.
- What did you give her for it? - Two dozen red roses and a billet-doux.
- Billet-doux? - It's a note telling her what I've done.
So are we gonna take the glass out of this, put the old glass in, flog it, take the old glass out and put this glass back in again? And the whole carousel starts again.
It's gonna be hard to give all this up, Jane.
Yes, it will be.
But I've begun to realize that it's all becoming a bit of burden, really.
Tenants' complaints, meetings, all the daily things.
I won't have to bother with any of that now.
I'm free.
I'm actually free.
(Sounds horn) (Eric and Tinker chattering) - Are you the mirror people? - Sorry? - Are you the mirror people? - Yeah.
- Get in, please.
- Right.
Come on.
Were you born in a field? Sorry.
(Monica) Where shall we go? (Eric) Um (Tinker) Well, I thought we might visit Mr.
Smallman-Smith's emporium, ma'am.
(Monica) Did you wipe your feet before you got in? (Eric snorting) And we have lots more down here, through here, and a particularly fine one here, Miss Wainwright.
Ah, no, no.
I think this one's a little bit small, don't you? How about this veneered satinwood with boxwood inlay and these lovely reeded pillars? It's ghastly, really ghastly.
This would be wonderful for your jetés.
(Sighs) Excuse me.
- Do you like this one? - Mm, no.
I don't think so.
How about this beautiful oval mirror here? No, it's horrible.
Aaagh! I think we should try Ipswich.
Stop! That one.
That's the mirror I want.
Well, go and get it.
Go on.
Come on.
- Excuse me.
- Hang on a minute.
- Is this thing for sale? - We're taking it down the dump.
- 'Ey! How much? - Thirty quid.
- Seventy-five.
- Ha! Needs a lot of work, Tink.
- Fifty.
- Done.
- Any chance of a delivery? - Delivery? - Twenty quid.
- What? - I thought this was community service.
- Yeah, we pay taxes.
- You might pay taxes.
- But some of us have empty bellies to fill.
Hamlins Boatyard care of R.
Frew.
(Honks horn) Great.
Have you got any money for the bus? Felsham? Kaput? I know, Tink.
I know.
It's a shock to me too, but talk to Jane and she sees it differently.
Like a gift.
But she's our employer, Lovejoy.
Felsham's our lifeline.
What are we supposed to do? You're a big boy now, Eric.
Time to stand on your own two feet.
New horizons.
Sail away, boys.
Sail away on an azure sea.
That's what I did when my world fell in on me.
Got myself a wife in Bermuda.
Never looked back since.
I don't want to go to Bermuda and I definitely don't want a wife.
(Tinker) It's a catastrophe.
It's a catastrophe.
Well, it was a burden to her.
The meetings.
Tenants' complaints.
This is her chance to get free.
Not for her, Lovejoy.
For us.
It's a catastrophe for us.
No, not necessarily, Tink.
Well, Janey and I, we might Oh, Janey and I? I know what you're thinking, Lovejoy.
With Alex gone, you can get in on the rebound.
It's not Janey and I.
It's Eric and I.
And you'd chuck us overboard as if we didn't matter.
Tinker, don't be ridiculous.
I mean, Janey and I may go into a different sphere, but Frankly, Lovejoy, the progression from Lady Felsham to Mrs.
Lovejoy is not one that I would recommend to my worst enemy.
I need a proper drink.
Do you need this? No.
What's this eye-patch business about, Roderick? Does it pull the women? And if so, and sorry for being dumb but what's the buzz? Sexually, I mean.
You could ask Dorothy, then Alphonsia, Priscilla, Marie-Louise, Camilla Oh, I've forgotten the rest of their names.
The wives, my lad, the wives who packed a punch.
Ah, I get it.
So every time you moved on to the next one Every time a shiner! - And it became your trademark? - Yes.
- What are you doing, Eric? - I'm tarting this mirror up.
We were led a merry dance by Miss Monica Wainwright, I can tell you.
- This is the mirror for the dance academy.
- She chose this? Yeah, Tink paid 70 quid for it including delivery.
Black mirrors.
It's an old custom to paint mirrors black in times of sorrow and national mourning.
That could be concealing a valuable signature.
Right, drop your brush, Eric.
Start scraping.
Let's see what we've got here.
- Now, that is looking very, very good, Roddy.
- Not bad.
Eric? How are we doing finding a matching frame for this? Tink's Aunt Rosamund's dressing table in the pickup outside Monica's.
Good.
Give me that.
- How is the poor old Tink? - He's grieving.
Oh, dear.
Heh! (Doorbell tinkles) (Crunching gravel) - (Rattling) - (Thump) (Bicycle wheel spinning) (Sighs) - (Groaning) - Tinker! Tinker! Are you all right? (Sighs) (Sobs) Oh, I'm so sorry! Oh! Janey? Jane.
Oh.
Thanks for coming.
Unless you're a creditor.
Jane, you can't let them do this.
They'll mark everything down.
We've got to get the stuff out of here and sell it privately.
It's too late, Lovejoy.
There's nothing I can do.
The receivers are in charge now.
- Look at this.
The screen.
We bought this.
- (Snorts) And this, hm? And that.
That's ours.
It was mine, I think.
- It's ours.
- No, I remember clearly.
Excuse me.
Er excuse me, sir? Hm.
You do know that this is worth twice what you've got written down there, don't you? - Lovejoy.
- Hm? Hm, what? Lovejoy, please.
No heroics.
(Dog barking) This is a rip-off.
I mean, what's Alexander doing? He won't regret much of this.
It it's the house he'll miss.
His home from childhood.
Janey.
What do you feel? Watching this.
(Sighs) Free.
Now, I was thinking a small house.
You know, nothing flash, Janey.
- Roses round the door? - Don't knock it.
I'm doing my best.
I wasn't brought up to live in sin, Lovejoy.
Is this a proposal? You're gonna make an honest man of me at last? What would you say if I did? Well, as your closest friend on top of anything else we might have, I'd advise you to think about that one very carefully.
It's all right.
I'm not throwing myself at you.
Of course you're not, Janey.
Well, you wouldn't would you? I know exactly what I'm going to do.
- You do? - (Clock chiming) Want to tell me? I'm sorry, but well, you're not part of any of it.
- What, domestically, you mean? - Or professionally.
Time's up for us, Lovejoy.
No, no, no.
These are not sane words.
I mean, you're upset, Janey.
(Sighs) I'm not getting through, am I? Look, this is my chance.
Don't you see? To to start a new life.
To be off on my own.
Off where? Europe to see some friends and then maybe the States.
What what about Eric? I mean, what about Tink? Tink's getting on now, Janey.
How is he going to survive, eh? Now, don't give me that.
Tinker has mastered the art of survival better than anyone I know.
In spite of him drunk on my doorstep.
Yeah, well, he was very upset.
What did you do with him? Gave him a cup of strong black coffee, but then he insisted on another brandy.
- Well, he would, wouldn't he? - We talked for a while.
And I told him he still had you.
Thank you.
What have I got, hm? For years now, you have been my guiding star, my rock.
Please, Lovejoy.
(Sighs) The way I see it, we've had some good times together, some really good times.
But we both know that's all they were.
There could never be anything else, because of the people we are.
Nobody's fault.
Just a fact of life.
Without me, who knows where you might fly to? Hm.
And you, eh? Possibly.
In time.
There's, um just one thing.
There isn't anybody else, is there? No.
How could there be, with you still around? (He chuckles) (Eric) Alexander Lord-frigging-Felsham's the cause of this.
He's scuppered himself and taken us with him, all hands.
He'll come bobbing back up again, don't worry.
That breed always do.
Two years after bankruptcy, he'll be right back on top of the heap.
You mark my words.
If he is, he'll have to answer to me, because I'll be ready for him.
You? You'll be in the poorhouse along with the rest of us sinners.
Unless Lovejoy can come up with something.
Lovejoy? My life's not dependent on Lovejoy.
Since when has my life been dependent on Lovejoy? Since we met! Oh, now look what you've made me do! Oh, that's great.
Now we've got seven years' bad luck.
Oh, golly.
Monica.
(Shop bell) (Shop bell) Good news, Lovejoy.
Ah, you've brought the toilet mirror.
Splendid.
On time as promised, E.
J.
Yes, Mrs.
Hunt's coming in this morning.
I was wondering.
- Wonder no more.
What do you think? - Well, it's awful.
Yeah, but you've got to admire our mate Frew's craft.
Yes, I suppose.
But, look, much more exciting news, Lovejoy.
Your mirror.
I've done my homework and discovered, to my great delight, that the frame is the work of Juste-Aurèle Meissonier, Paris 1734.
Not much of him survives, but this could have been made for the French vessel the Gaulthier Céleste.
It was foundered off the Scillies in 1756.
Meissonier was a difficult fellow described by colleagues as "présomptueux et mégalomane.
" (Chuckling) I've already had two inquiries.
Twenty-five thousand seems the figure.
If it's Meissonier, it's 35,000 minimum.
- (Shop bell) - Thank you.
We'll be taking it off your hands.
- (Shop bell) - I've just done all the work for you.
Oh, Lovejoy, it's perfect.
Just as I'd hoped.
Didn't I tell you, Verity? Now I've done the business for you, E.
J.
It is quite divine.
And how it must have looked originally! Here is a perfect example, madam, of an genuine old glass, but, alas, good only for a blind person.
I wonder, could you do the same replacement? You mean you want this to look like this? Oh, yes, I must, I must have it.
Well, ladies.
E.
J? Hm.
Excuse me.
All I shall need is your telephone number, madam, and a small deposit.
Ah, of course.
Ha! You're on very good form today, Lovejoy, considering the circumstances.
Well, life must go on, Tink.
This thing's been nothing but trouble since we've had it.
I'd like to put a hammer to it.
That's the reason we're here, Eric.
But life goes on.
I'll give you the nod, Tink.
Wasn't our fault.
It was his idea to go to Frew.
Oh, don't worry about it.
Thank you.
(Door closes) (Footsteps) Ah.
(Clears throat) Goodbye, Lovejoy.
Alex.
(Snorts) Tink? Thank you.
I'd rather it went to my old ballet teacher.
They'll never notice the difference anyway.
- And if they do Oh, sod 'em.
Who cares? - Mm.
(Phone) Hello? Jane? It's Miss Robiette.
I'm so glad to catch you.
I just wanted to let you know that Monica is thrilled with her new mirror.
Oh, good.
Monica's thrilled.
Oh, good.
- Will she have it here for Tuesday's class? - Next Tuesday.
Mm-hm.
- About 12 o'clock? - At 12 o'clock.
Certainly.
She is so excited about it.
And black is her favorite color.
Black is her favorite color? This is going to wash off, isn't it, Roddy? Well, it always did in the olden days when the period of mourning is concluded.
- Monica's graduation day.
- Yeah.
Gently does it, Eric.
All right, all right.
Huh! Oh! A pirate! - (Snorting) - Oh.
Ha, ha.
Phew.
Well, I'm glad we found it a proper home.
I've got to finish packing.
Yeah, see you later.
(Piano playing, Lovejoy chattering) Oh.
What about different colors, hey? Like a different color? No? One in red? Well, this is goodbye, then.
Goodbye, Eric.
Bye, Tinker.
(Piano-playing drowns speech) (Sighs) So where is she, then? - Well, getting into a taxi, I should think.
- What? Well, six o'clock, wasn't it? - Eight o'clock.
- Harwich.
The airport.
(Sounds horn) (Sounding horn) Erm, could you stop a moment, please? (Sounds horn) (Jane) I'm sorry.
It was a dirty trick.
You know how I hate goodbyes.
They remind me of boarding school.
I I left you a note.
Wherever you go, and whatever you do Lovejoy.
I'll be there, hm? - (Whispers) Lovejoy.
- I'll be there.
I'll miss you.
I'll miss you too.