The Batman (2004) s05e02 Episode Script
The Batman/Superman Story (2)
NARRATOR: Previously on The Batman: Here he is, straight from Metropolis Superman Uhn! Metallo! METALLO: I love kryptonite.
Can't get enough.
[EXPLOSION.]
Where's the kryptonite? Don't worry.
We got it.
I want it.
Here it is, like you asked.
After all that work to get Metallo powered up he's stopped by a clown in a bat suit.
Get my jet ready.
We're going to be spending some time at our Gotham division.
[DOOR OPENS.]
- What are you doing here so late? - I could ask you the same thing.
[GRUNTS.]
[GROWLING.]
Aah! So why the sudden interest in Superman, Black Mask? Getting tired of me? He's working with Luthor.
You've gone too far this time, Lex.
In fact, I've been doing some criminal-capturing myself.
Miss Poison Ivy.
Plant spores, the mind-controlling variety.
Laced with kryptonite dust.
[LUTHOR LAUGHS.]
It's far too quiet.
Superman's not exactly Mr.
Yappy.
Maybe he's tossed Luthor in jail and left for Metropolis.
We would've heard over the police band.
Something's not right.
We need a closer look.
BATMAN: Lukewarm.
Luthor hasn't been gone long.
Everything's so neat and clean.
You'd think Alfred lived here.
[RUSTLING.]
[YAWNS.]
You still at it? You really are a creature of the night.
I found some residue in Luthor's test tube.
Porphyrin rings with a magnesium center.
- Middle school.
- Chlorophyll.
Chlorophyll? You mean plants? Yes, maybe poison plants.
If Ivy's involved, we might have to take precautions.
Suit up.
- Where we going? - Luthor's weapons lab here in town.
Lucius tells me they've been working overtime.
Away from prying eyes.
And x-ray eyes too.
[BEEPING.]
You with me, Robin? Got your back.
[BEEPING.]
[WHIRRING.]
WOMAN: And you, keep the north entrance covered.
No one gets in.
[BEEPING.]
[BEEPING.]
[WHIRRING.]
[WHIRRING.]
How are we doing, Mercy? All systems are go, Lex.
We even have perfect weather.
Then let's get them activated.
[BEEPS, ACTIVATING.]
[MUFFLED.]
Let me out.
Let me out! [GROWLS SOFTLY.]
[ROARING.]
Aaah! [GRUNTS.]
I injected a flash dehydrant made especially for you, Clayface.
You'll be okay.
Just add water.
[THUD.]
Looking for someone? [SNAPS FINGERS.]
Ivy's mind-control spores, laced with kryptonite.
So you are as clever as they say.
He was a little resistant last night so I thought I'd give him an extended dose.
BATMAN: What are you up to, Luthor? LUTHOR: Saving the world, Batman.
You saw how helpless it was during the alien invasion.
We had no central control, no plan of attack.
Instead we put our faith in aliens.
Well, no more.
Only humans should be in charge of Earth's destiny.
Humans with robots.
Oh, they're more than just robots, Batman.
They're powerful aerial wireless transmitters.
Once aloft, they'll target the most strategic military installations in the world.
At which point, they'll interface with the defense systems on the ground [WEAPONS FIRING.]
giving me complete control.
I don't expect everyone to understand what I'm doing at first.
But in the end, we'll have a single worldwide army.
One that will insure protection against aliens.
No one will dominate the Earth again.
Except for you.
Well, someone has to be in charge.
And who could stop me except for Superman? And he may turn out to be the most valuable robot of all.
Destroy him.
[BUZZING.]
[BEEPING.]
[LUTHOR GRUNTS.]
Find him.
Break him.
Robin, can you hear me? We have a problem.
You're not kidding.
[GRUNTS.]
[GASPS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, no.
Gotcha.
See? Nothing to it.
Look.
Up in the sky.
[IN UNISON.]
Awesome.
BOY: Hey, Superdude, you okay? [GROANING.]
Whoa.
Check out the bling-bling.
Hello? That's kryptonite.
Oh-ho.
What do we do, man? Kick it in the water.
[MOANING.]
All right, Superdude! Give me five.
Yeah! - Yeah, cool.
- Rock it, man.
- That was gnarly.
- Yeah, we did it.
Oh! ROBIN: What are we here for? Insurance.
[LONG BEEP.]
So that's where you got the kryptonite from.
- I thought you gave it to Superman.
- It was a fake.
I decided to hang on to the real thing in case of.
[LOUD BANGING ON WALL.]
That.
[BANGING CONTINUES.]
[GASPS.]
[INHALING DEEPLY.]
ROBIN: He's gonna blow.
[BLOWING MIGHTILY.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GROANING.]
I got it.
[GRUNTING.]
Whoa! [GRUNTING.]
[OBJECTS SHATTERING.]
When he gets out, he's not gonna be happy.
I have an idea how to stop him.
But I've gotta get him out of here.
[CLATTERING.]
- What do I do? - Maybe you can slow him down.
Got him, Batman.
[GRUNTING.]
Aah! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
ANNOUNCER: No one knows why they're fighting, folks.
But it looks like a clash of titans from up here.
Should we delay the countdown? Not on your life.
No man in a tin can is going to beat the Man of Steel.
And if their battle distracts the city, so much the better.
We proceed as scheduled.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[WHIRS.]
[BUZZING.]
[GRUNTING.]
ROBIN: Hey, Blue Boy.
[GRUNTS.]
Cool.
You get a raise.
I get paid? BATMAN: Come on.
ROBIN: Eww.
Is this where you were leading him? What are you gonna do, stink him into submission? Something like that.
Here we are.
[RUMBLING.]
Put on your mask.
[GAS HISSING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Aah! [GROANING.]
[GROANING.]
What's going on? That cured him? Luthor had you under the spell of Poison Ivy's mind-controlling plant spores.
But I just doused you with atrazine, a basic component of plant killers.
It wiped out the spores.
I owe you one.
Wasn't just me.
I guess teamwork does have its advantages.
Thirty seconds to launch, Lex.
You should pay attention, Miss Ivy.
History is being made.
And you provided the seeds of change.
MERCY: Opening silo.
Ten seconds to liftoff.
[ALARM BLARING.]
I'll handle those.
See if you can stop them from the inside.
Aah! No! They have to take him out.
I'll put them all on him.
[GRUNTS.]
Might wanna cover your ears.
[BEEPING, EXPLOSIONS.]
[MERCY SCREAMS.]
[GUNSHOTS.]
Keep on them.
[BEEPING.]
[WEAPONS FIRING.]
[RUMBLING.]
[GUNSHOTS.]
Lex! What about me? [GRUNTING.]
[GROANING.]
[RUMBLING.]
That must be the daddy.
[RUMBLING.]
[BEEPING.]
BATMAN: Move! [BEEPING.]
COMPUTER [FEMALE VOICE.]
: Two seconds to hyperdrive.
Program failure.
Command terminated.
What? Warning.
Warning.
[ALARM BLARING.]
Virus detected.
Warning.
[BUZZING, POWERING DOWN.]
[THUD.]
[GRUNTING.]
[THUD.]
[CREAKING.]
You can't leave without saying goodbye.
DICK [ON MONITOR.]
: Morning.
BATMAN: That when it is? Who can tell up here? Have you seen today's headlines? Been a little busy, Dick.
The Lex has been tossed in jail with Ivy and the others.
Who says there's no good news? If you need some help up there, I could-- No, thanks.
I've got a visitor.
Out.
So this is what all the excitement's about.
BATMAN: Still a work in progress, but it will do for now.
I asked you here because I wanted to give you this.
The real kryptonite.
I dug it up from my lab.
Found the piece in the river too.
You keep it.
At least then I'll know it's with someone who's on my side.
Now, tell me about this Justice Team of yours.
League.
Justice League.
I told the Martian it sounded like a ball club.
Anyway, this is our command center.
Someone's always stationed here.
It's time-consuming, but the view's great.
Can't get enough.
[EXPLOSION.]
Where's the kryptonite? Don't worry.
We got it.
I want it.
Here it is, like you asked.
After all that work to get Metallo powered up he's stopped by a clown in a bat suit.
Get my jet ready.
We're going to be spending some time at our Gotham division.
[DOOR OPENS.]
- What are you doing here so late? - I could ask you the same thing.
[GRUNTS.]
[GROWLING.]
Aah! So why the sudden interest in Superman, Black Mask? Getting tired of me? He's working with Luthor.
You've gone too far this time, Lex.
In fact, I've been doing some criminal-capturing myself.
Miss Poison Ivy.
Plant spores, the mind-controlling variety.
Laced with kryptonite dust.
[LUTHOR LAUGHS.]
It's far too quiet.
Superman's not exactly Mr.
Yappy.
Maybe he's tossed Luthor in jail and left for Metropolis.
We would've heard over the police band.
Something's not right.
We need a closer look.
BATMAN: Lukewarm.
Luthor hasn't been gone long.
Everything's so neat and clean.
You'd think Alfred lived here.
[RUSTLING.]
[YAWNS.]
You still at it? You really are a creature of the night.
I found some residue in Luthor's test tube.
Porphyrin rings with a magnesium center.
- Middle school.
- Chlorophyll.
Chlorophyll? You mean plants? Yes, maybe poison plants.
If Ivy's involved, we might have to take precautions.
Suit up.
- Where we going? - Luthor's weapons lab here in town.
Lucius tells me they've been working overtime.
Away from prying eyes.
And x-ray eyes too.
[BEEPING.]
You with me, Robin? Got your back.
[BEEPING.]
[WHIRRING.]
WOMAN: And you, keep the north entrance covered.
No one gets in.
[BEEPING.]
[BEEPING.]
[WHIRRING.]
[WHIRRING.]
How are we doing, Mercy? All systems are go, Lex.
We even have perfect weather.
Then let's get them activated.
[BEEPS, ACTIVATING.]
[MUFFLED.]
Let me out.
Let me out! [GROWLS SOFTLY.]
[ROARING.]
Aaah! [GRUNTS.]
I injected a flash dehydrant made especially for you, Clayface.
You'll be okay.
Just add water.
[THUD.]
Looking for someone? [SNAPS FINGERS.]
Ivy's mind-control spores, laced with kryptonite.
So you are as clever as they say.
He was a little resistant last night so I thought I'd give him an extended dose.
BATMAN: What are you up to, Luthor? LUTHOR: Saving the world, Batman.
You saw how helpless it was during the alien invasion.
We had no central control, no plan of attack.
Instead we put our faith in aliens.
Well, no more.
Only humans should be in charge of Earth's destiny.
Humans with robots.
Oh, they're more than just robots, Batman.
They're powerful aerial wireless transmitters.
Once aloft, they'll target the most strategic military installations in the world.
At which point, they'll interface with the defense systems on the ground [WEAPONS FIRING.]
giving me complete control.
I don't expect everyone to understand what I'm doing at first.
But in the end, we'll have a single worldwide army.
One that will insure protection against aliens.
No one will dominate the Earth again.
Except for you.
Well, someone has to be in charge.
And who could stop me except for Superman? And he may turn out to be the most valuable robot of all.
Destroy him.
[BUZZING.]
[BEEPING.]
[LUTHOR GRUNTS.]
Find him.
Break him.
Robin, can you hear me? We have a problem.
You're not kidding.
[GRUNTS.]
[GASPS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, no.
Gotcha.
See? Nothing to it.
Look.
Up in the sky.
[IN UNISON.]
Awesome.
BOY: Hey, Superdude, you okay? [GROANING.]
Whoa.
Check out the bling-bling.
Hello? That's kryptonite.
Oh-ho.
What do we do, man? Kick it in the water.
[MOANING.]
All right, Superdude! Give me five.
Yeah! - Yeah, cool.
- Rock it, man.
- That was gnarly.
- Yeah, we did it.
Oh! ROBIN: What are we here for? Insurance.
[LONG BEEP.]
So that's where you got the kryptonite from.
- I thought you gave it to Superman.
- It was a fake.
I decided to hang on to the real thing in case of.
[LOUD BANGING ON WALL.]
That.
[BANGING CONTINUES.]
[GASPS.]
[INHALING DEEPLY.]
ROBIN: He's gonna blow.
[BLOWING MIGHTILY.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GROANING.]
I got it.
[GRUNTING.]
Whoa! [GRUNTING.]
[OBJECTS SHATTERING.]
When he gets out, he's not gonna be happy.
I have an idea how to stop him.
But I've gotta get him out of here.
[CLATTERING.]
- What do I do? - Maybe you can slow him down.
Got him, Batman.
[GRUNTING.]
Aah! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
ANNOUNCER: No one knows why they're fighting, folks.
But it looks like a clash of titans from up here.
Should we delay the countdown? Not on your life.
No man in a tin can is going to beat the Man of Steel.
And if their battle distracts the city, so much the better.
We proceed as scheduled.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[WHIRS.]
[BUZZING.]
[GRUNTING.]
ROBIN: Hey, Blue Boy.
[GRUNTS.]
Cool.
You get a raise.
I get paid? BATMAN: Come on.
ROBIN: Eww.
Is this where you were leading him? What are you gonna do, stink him into submission? Something like that.
Here we are.
[RUMBLING.]
Put on your mask.
[GAS HISSING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Aah! [GROANING.]
[GROANING.]
What's going on? That cured him? Luthor had you under the spell of Poison Ivy's mind-controlling plant spores.
But I just doused you with atrazine, a basic component of plant killers.
It wiped out the spores.
I owe you one.
Wasn't just me.
I guess teamwork does have its advantages.
Thirty seconds to launch, Lex.
You should pay attention, Miss Ivy.
History is being made.
And you provided the seeds of change.
MERCY: Opening silo.
Ten seconds to liftoff.
[ALARM BLARING.]
I'll handle those.
See if you can stop them from the inside.
Aah! No! They have to take him out.
I'll put them all on him.
[GRUNTS.]
Might wanna cover your ears.
[BEEPING, EXPLOSIONS.]
[MERCY SCREAMS.]
[GUNSHOTS.]
Keep on them.
[BEEPING.]
[WEAPONS FIRING.]
[RUMBLING.]
[GUNSHOTS.]
Lex! What about me? [GRUNTING.]
[GROANING.]
[RUMBLING.]
That must be the daddy.
[RUMBLING.]
[BEEPING.]
BATMAN: Move! [BEEPING.]
COMPUTER [FEMALE VOICE.]
: Two seconds to hyperdrive.
Program failure.
Command terminated.
What? Warning.
Warning.
[ALARM BLARING.]
Virus detected.
Warning.
[BUZZING, POWERING DOWN.]
[THUD.]
[GRUNTING.]
[THUD.]
[CREAKING.]
You can't leave without saying goodbye.
DICK [ON MONITOR.]
: Morning.
BATMAN: That when it is? Who can tell up here? Have you seen today's headlines? Been a little busy, Dick.
The Lex has been tossed in jail with Ivy and the others.
Who says there's no good news? If you need some help up there, I could-- No, thanks.
I've got a visitor.
Out.
So this is what all the excitement's about.
BATMAN: Still a work in progress, but it will do for now.
I asked you here because I wanted to give you this.
The real kryptonite.
I dug it up from my lab.
Found the piece in the river too.
You keep it.
At least then I'll know it's with someone who's on my side.
Now, tell me about this Justice Team of yours.
League.
Justice League.
I told the Martian it sounded like a ball club.
Anyway, this is our command center.
Someone's always stationed here.
It's time-consuming, but the view's great.