The Guild (2007) s05e02 Episode Script
Crash Pad
Never trust an egomaniacal teenager to plan anything! We arrived at Mega-Gameroma-Con No free rooms, and all the hotels were sold out.
Fun twist! The convention worker, Rachel, stopped hyperventilating long enough to discover that another special guest - Don Luffgrin's stunt double's assistant from Beef Soldier 4- cancelled last minute, so she snagged his room, for us.
One room.
Six people.
Oh my God.
And we networked all our computers together thought we could raid, soothe some tempers.
Maybe grab a little chat time with Zaboo, but - Die in your sleep, Bladezz! What the Hell! That's the last time! Tomorrow we'll be back and laugh.
If we survive the night.
Guildies, rise! Strategy meeting at eight! I will seek sustenance! Ugh, coffee table not comfortable.
no sleep convention time? It was so sweet of Zaboo to get these t-shirts made with our guild crest on them, right? Heh.
He's so great, isn't he? Yeah, like we need more t-shirts, but sure.
Augh, I hate my morning face.
I'm going to tell him I like him this weekend.
Do you think I'll need a facelift after the baby's born? Huh! Can they both operations at once? Clara, did you not hear me? I said that I'm going to go after Zaboo in a romantic way.
What! Why didn't you say anything? Do it now! Worst idea ever! If you think it's a bad idea, why are you so happy about it? Well, because he'll jump all over it.
You'll get together for like a week and then all goes so wrong, you'll have to end it.
But he won't take no for an answer, you'll have to change name, move he'll be so devastated I'll have to talk him off the ledge of a high rise! I'll be in the paper, as a suicide whisperer, get invited on Ellen, will dance! Clara! I need real advice here! Okay, right.
Are you hot for him? Well enough.
Enough! Aw, wrong answer.
This is some juicy lady talk I showered into.
Ew! Ew.
Gross, Bladezz! Now cover that up! Alright, my opinion.
He'll take you, used and all, but a guy's not gonna pass on anything with a lady hole.
Oh! Can you pass me my mousse, my cologne, spray, vanishing cream, baby oil and rosewater? Ah, what? Forget I said anything.
No way.
I think I need pirate eyeliner.
Oh, just a smidge.
My turn! Rude! I love you.
Breakfast is served.
Is that seat taken? Nope.
Ah, thanks for the breakfast, Vork.
The food was gratis thanks to my ingenuity.
Up and down the hallway, people left vast quantities of food, right outside their rooms.
Look at the breadth of bounty I've scavenged! Never say I do not provide for my tribe.
Uh, I don't know about used food, dude.
Reminder - this room is not free.
In order to make it through this horrendous cash trap weekend, we must employ what I am coining, an emergency CDS strategy.
Can't Digest Sausage? Curry Diarrhea Soup.
Haha Ah, Koala's Drunken - Conserve, Divide, Scavenge.
We must pool our efforts, physical and mental, in order to survive.
Okay, so, pick up all shotgun shells, and any first aid packs we come across, and if one us falls behind, leave them to save yourself.
Let's just eat what's in our little kitchenet, you guys! Snacks are yummy.
Clara, don't eat from the minibar! That goes on our room tab.
They're not free? Anything but! My foetus made me do it.
Guys, don't even worry about it alright? I've got this covered.
Once I hook up with Kevinator, we're gonna smooth it all out, VIP style! The Kevinator is the scourge of the gaming Earth.
If it turns out there is no presence of the game, whatsoever here, I would not be fazed.
I would prepare a law suit, and hate crime charges! No worries, dude.
The game's right here, Booth 451.
Oh man, this convention is amazing! They've scheduled something every hour, for three days straight! That's so exciting! What're we going to do together? Yeah, your hair is kind of obscuring Sunday.
Thanks, Codex.
Well, we should spend a lot of our time in our game's booth, right? Guild bonding and all, right Zaboo? They have a whole seminar of the Physics of Krull! How am I gonna do all this!? Glaive'd.
I don't know about you guys, ! but, I have one more weekend until I get all huge and bloated with this new baby bump.
I'm gonna have as much fun as Federal warning labels allow, ha.
Are you still eating from the mini-bar!? Aw, nuts.
I forgot again.
Ha, nuts! Let's go.
And, who are you supposed to be? Little Bo Peep on X?? I am an anime character you wouldn't be aware, because you are an idiot! What about this being a contemptible nerd fest? I grew up in this stupid town! I don't want any losers from my past spotting me, wanting to "catch up", ungh.
Better to go incognito.
Augh! According to the schedule, I've missed the first ten minutes of Star Wars in Macrame! That sounds awesome! Let's all go.
Negative! Macrame is the Devil's handicraft.
Making things? Gross, that's like working, and working is unfun to the max.
Ugh, we're not here to have fun, Clara! We have five hundred tees to offload on spend-happy nerds.
Is that why you brought those? Businessing? Let's do that tomorrow.
Are you kidding? UNGH! Ok, fine, you guys don't want to expand your geek mind? Then I'll go solo.
Han Solo'd.
Oh no! I mean, I'll totally go with you.
Wait! Wha Outie Five Thousand.
Nononono, wait! I need the guild to be my entourage, to be a buffer from fans and keep me from getting mobbed by podcasters! Ah! I'm going to find an artist, to draw my head on the body of a unicorn.
Claracorn! Hah! Oh, fine, everyone go their separate ways.
No one spend any time together, our first official outing as a guild! I don't need your sanction, but you've accurately stated the actuality.
Aloha.
I didn't mean it
Fun twist! The convention worker, Rachel, stopped hyperventilating long enough to discover that another special guest - Don Luffgrin's stunt double's assistant from Beef Soldier 4- cancelled last minute, so she snagged his room, for us.
One room.
Six people.
Oh my God.
And we networked all our computers together thought we could raid, soothe some tempers.
Maybe grab a little chat time with Zaboo, but - Die in your sleep, Bladezz! What the Hell! That's the last time! Tomorrow we'll be back and laugh.
If we survive the night.
Guildies, rise! Strategy meeting at eight! I will seek sustenance! Ugh, coffee table not comfortable.
no sleep convention time? It was so sweet of Zaboo to get these t-shirts made with our guild crest on them, right? Heh.
He's so great, isn't he? Yeah, like we need more t-shirts, but sure.
Augh, I hate my morning face.
I'm going to tell him I like him this weekend.
Do you think I'll need a facelift after the baby's born? Huh! Can they both operations at once? Clara, did you not hear me? I said that I'm going to go after Zaboo in a romantic way.
What! Why didn't you say anything? Do it now! Worst idea ever! If you think it's a bad idea, why are you so happy about it? Well, because he'll jump all over it.
You'll get together for like a week and then all goes so wrong, you'll have to end it.
But he won't take no for an answer, you'll have to change name, move he'll be so devastated I'll have to talk him off the ledge of a high rise! I'll be in the paper, as a suicide whisperer, get invited on Ellen, will dance! Clara! I need real advice here! Okay, right.
Are you hot for him? Well enough.
Enough! Aw, wrong answer.
This is some juicy lady talk I showered into.
Ew! Ew.
Gross, Bladezz! Now cover that up! Alright, my opinion.
He'll take you, used and all, but a guy's not gonna pass on anything with a lady hole.
Oh! Can you pass me my mousse, my cologne, spray, vanishing cream, baby oil and rosewater? Ah, what? Forget I said anything.
No way.
I think I need pirate eyeliner.
Oh, just a smidge.
My turn! Rude! I love you.
Breakfast is served.
Is that seat taken? Nope.
Ah, thanks for the breakfast, Vork.
The food was gratis thanks to my ingenuity.
Up and down the hallway, people left vast quantities of food, right outside their rooms.
Look at the breadth of bounty I've scavenged! Never say I do not provide for my tribe.
Uh, I don't know about used food, dude.
Reminder - this room is not free.
In order to make it through this horrendous cash trap weekend, we must employ what I am coining, an emergency CDS strategy.
Can't Digest Sausage? Curry Diarrhea Soup.
Haha Ah, Koala's Drunken - Conserve, Divide, Scavenge.
We must pool our efforts, physical and mental, in order to survive.
Okay, so, pick up all shotgun shells, and any first aid packs we come across, and if one us falls behind, leave them to save yourself.
Let's just eat what's in our little kitchenet, you guys! Snacks are yummy.
Clara, don't eat from the minibar! That goes on our room tab.
They're not free? Anything but! My foetus made me do it.
Guys, don't even worry about it alright? I've got this covered.
Once I hook up with Kevinator, we're gonna smooth it all out, VIP style! The Kevinator is the scourge of the gaming Earth.
If it turns out there is no presence of the game, whatsoever here, I would not be fazed.
I would prepare a law suit, and hate crime charges! No worries, dude.
The game's right here, Booth 451.
Oh man, this convention is amazing! They've scheduled something every hour, for three days straight! That's so exciting! What're we going to do together? Yeah, your hair is kind of obscuring Sunday.
Thanks, Codex.
Well, we should spend a lot of our time in our game's booth, right? Guild bonding and all, right Zaboo? They have a whole seminar of the Physics of Krull! How am I gonna do all this!? Glaive'd.
I don't know about you guys, ! but, I have one more weekend until I get all huge and bloated with this new baby bump.
I'm gonna have as much fun as Federal warning labels allow, ha.
Are you still eating from the mini-bar!? Aw, nuts.
I forgot again.
Ha, nuts! Let's go.
And, who are you supposed to be? Little Bo Peep on X?? I am an anime character you wouldn't be aware, because you are an idiot! What about this being a contemptible nerd fest? I grew up in this stupid town! I don't want any losers from my past spotting me, wanting to "catch up", ungh.
Better to go incognito.
Augh! According to the schedule, I've missed the first ten minutes of Star Wars in Macrame! That sounds awesome! Let's all go.
Negative! Macrame is the Devil's handicraft.
Making things? Gross, that's like working, and working is unfun to the max.
Ugh, we're not here to have fun, Clara! We have five hundred tees to offload on spend-happy nerds.
Is that why you brought those? Businessing? Let's do that tomorrow.
Are you kidding? UNGH! Ok, fine, you guys don't want to expand your geek mind? Then I'll go solo.
Han Solo'd.
Oh no! I mean, I'll totally go with you.
Wait! Wha Outie Five Thousand.
Nononono, wait! I need the guild to be my entourage, to be a buffer from fans and keep me from getting mobbed by podcasters! Ah! I'm going to find an artist, to draw my head on the body of a unicorn.
Claracorn! Hah! Oh, fine, everyone go their separate ways.
No one spend any time together, our first official outing as a guild! I don't need your sanction, but you've accurately stated the actuality.
Aloha.
I didn't mean it