White Collar s05e02 Episode Script
BCW501 - Out Of The Frying Pan
Previously on White Collar This is a good office, but the one next door has a much nicer view.
The ASAC's office? They want me to run White Collar division? - What's the gold for, Hagen? - Why's that matter to you? Because I can tell when I've stepped into a trap.
My appeal's coming up.
You're gonna help set me free.
- Hey, boss.
- Diana.
- Look at you.
- It's a boy.
You're choosing someone from outside the office to be my new handler.
Someone who will see you as you are.
A criminal.
[Opera music.]
Bang.
You're dead.
Since when do surveillance cameras go "bang"? Oh, since when do you overstep your mark? Take it easy, Bob Fosse.
You know, anxiety doesn't become you.
I'm gonna get it.
I only had 20 feet to go this time.
At this point, 20 feet might as well be Hannibal's march.
- Hyperbolize much? - I am serious.
Hagen's bonds will be in the FBI's evidence lockup in three days.
If one of those cameras spots you, you are toast.
If you're aiming to reduce my anxiety, I'm not the only one missing my mark.
I am just trying to make your anxiety appropriately focused.
You're not the one getting a new handler.
You know, I think that's for the best.
We've become way too chummy with these g-men.
Maybe a new handler will remind us why snakes don't fraternize with mongeese.
Mongeese? Mongooses? That's why I always go with scorpions and frogs.
How we doing on the Spanish Victory bonds? Hey.
The bonds have to look as if they have deteriorated naturally, so I'm hoping we can induce photolysis.
- Ultraviolet light.
- Yeah.
I came up with the idea while I was sunning.
The radiation source has to be very strong.
But if it is, the bonds should wilt like a newspaper left out in the sun.
Like an inadmissible newspaper.
Yeah.
What's our light source? That is my problem.
You--you have footwork to master.
Back to one.
[Opera music.]
Shouldn't your mug say "World's Greatest ASAC" now? Figured I ought to serve out my first week before I make that claim.
World's greatest aspiring ASAC? You're late.
We usually just hang out and drink coffee for the first half hour.
We do not hang out and drink coffee.
Well, today, we have work.
I made the call.
Jones arrested Brendan Holland this morning.
Three-Time Holland? The Greytrade guy? If we already arrested him, why call in the cavalry? If you were on time, you'd know.
Hey, uh, my new handler, is he in there? You're getting a new handler today? - Yeah, he's in there.
- So? - So what? - So what's he like? Probably late-middle aged, curmudgeonly, prefers Sportscenter to Masterpiece Theatre.
- Curmudgeonly? - Uh, did I nail it? Mm.
You're an expert on handlers.
I'll let you figure it out.
Guys, we're low on man power, so it's only four to a team, okay? So keep your wits about you.
Agent Berrigan will coordinate from here.
Targets will be prioritized by threat level and estimated seizure value.
Ideally, we'll synchronize our arrests.
Oh.
Who are we arresting? Debrief started 15 minutes ago.
Consultants make their own hours.
No, they don't.
Some of them do.
This morning, we brought in Brendan "Three-Time" Holland.
- Holland operates-- - greytrade.
com, yeah.
It's the black market equivalent of eBay.
That's--that's all I know.
You can keep going.
Oh, no, like you said, Greytrade is an online marketplace that has damn near every contraband imaginable.
Thank you.
Diana? Yeah, we're looking at stolen credit card numbers, counterfeit passports, missing artwork.
Is that a slow loris? Caffrey, have you seen my stomach? I'm pretty sure that's a trick question.
I'm eight months pregnant.
I'm not eating or sleeping well, so I'm in no mood.
So I'll keep my interruptions to a minimum.
Got it.
It is cute, though.
- The slow loris.
- And it's endangered.
Look, guys, simply shutting down Greytrade was a big win for the bureau.
We have an opportunity to make it even bigger.
We're going to arrest the sellers.
We can track their IPs through the site, which means we know where they live.
And we have dossiers made up, but once these guys notice that the site has been decommissioned, they're gonna close up shop.
That's why, even shorthanded, we're gonna hammer as many as we can today.
I swear to God, Caffrey, what? If the bureau keeps Greytrade up and running for a few days, we can take our time and bust all of them.
Can't concede the sale of illegal goods, even in the short term.
We don't necessarily have to concede anything.
Really? Well, we're all ears.
Do you want to explain? No, please.
We drum up fake user names, then outbid everyone else.
Since the plan is to arrest them anyway, the bureau won't be on the hook for the payout.
Be a lot of work.
It's not a bad idea.
Thanks for the assist.
Guess I was wrong about curmudgeonly.
- I'm sorry? - What? - Hmm? - Oh, it doesn't matter.
Neal Caffrey.
You must be my new handler.
Must be.
[Rock music.]
Neal, Special Agent David Siegel.
How old are you? [Laughs.]
I'm 31, but don't read into it.
Agent Siegel was a top graduate at Quantico and served as supervisor in the Chicago White Collar division for the past two years.
Actually, almost three, sir.
Windy City division had a work-release C.
I.
too.
Modeled his deal after yours, Neal.
Siegel was his handler.
They had a closure rate in the 70s.
Nice rates.
Why come to New York? - 87.
- Right? I wanna work with you, Neal.
Hey, you're the best there is.
- [Laughs.]
- Your skills are unmatched.
And your smarts are unparalleled.
You might be the most valuable asset the FBI has.
- Might be.
- All right, that's enough.
Do you prefer David or Dave? I'd like to speak to this agent privately.
It's easier for me if I know-- - Go.
- Okay.
Good to meet you.
- Shut the door.
- All right.
[Door closes.]
As our new supervisor, I was gonna give you my old office.
Oh.
Thank you, sir.
But you're not the right man for the job.
I'm sorry? Neal Caffrey is a confidence man.
He preys on trust, desire, and impressionability.
The last thing he needs is a lapdog as a handler.
- I'm no lapdog, sir.
- Sure as hell fooled me.
Well, I'm hoping I fooled him too.
One thing I learned about C.
I.
s like Neal: They like smoke, and I know exactly where to blow it.
You were playing him? I was handling him.
Start moving in tomorrow.
Gotta tell ya, I really like this new kid.
He's smart, hardworking, intuitive.
He loves you, huh? Well, that doesn't hurt.
How's Neal? Neal? You got promoted, and he has a new handler.
It's been a big change for him too.
Mm-hmm.
You haven't talked to him yet, have you? Oh, we talk.
Yeah, of course we talk.
I should reach out to him.
Yeah.
Okay.
- Uh, but, hon? - Hmm? In the morning.
Me? Black, right? When it's good, yeah.
Are you following me? Oh, I don't need to follow you.
You're wearing a tracking anklet.
Uh-huh.
We hadn't talked in a while.
Just a friendly coffee-chat- and-walk-to-the-office thing? - Yeah.
- I can handle that.
Any reason I might be following you? Aside from that you've been following me for almost a decade? Aside from that.
I don't think your new title calls for legwork.
No, I guess not.
Sohow was day number one? - With Siegel? - Yeah.
He reminds me of one of the Von Trapp children, and he's a little overeager, but for the most part, I like him.
I mean, he's intelligent, capable, self-aware.
He loves you, huh? I know when someone is playing to my vanity, okay? But the fact is he came to New York for a reason.
You are one hell of an informant.
I'm usually just following your lead.
It's good you like him.
Yeah, as long as things with us are-- Normal? Yeah, yeah.
I might have a different title, but I'm still the same old me.
Me too.
Maybe I should be following you.
[Chuckles.]
- Diana - What do you want? [Typing.]
[Computer beeping.]
What's going on? I'm multi-geeking.
In addition to posing as Three-Time Holland, I'm balancing chats and auctions under 40 separate nyms.
I don't know what that means.
Multi-geeking is when you operate more than one computer, and a nym is a pseudonym, avatar, user name, whatever.
Did you spend the night here? Three-Time never slept before.
- He can't start now.
- And you're drinking coffee.
What are you, my obstetrician? It's herbal tea.
If you wanna take a break, I can get someone-- I'm not trusting this to some N.
F.
G.
You wanna help? Pull up a chair.
- Yes.
Yes, sure.
- [Mouthing.]
Yeah, we will.
Let's-- Guys, guys, I got something.
Oh, gotta go.
That's my handler.
Good luck with that.
[Computer beeps.]
[Typing.]
I gotta go.
Thank you.
Seriously, thank you.
Yeah, too much herbal tea.
You choose a target? Well, I'm digging through the Greytrade files, and I settle on this one: Little Star Merchandise.
- Little Star? - Yeah.
You know it? Can't say I do.
These guys are definitely selling.
Must be millions in looted art and antiquities.
Yeah, Little Star's our diamond in the rough here.
Wait, guys, shouldn't we go after someone more dangerous? An arms dealer, maybe? Are you kidding me? This thing is right in your wheelhouse.
Yeah, look, they have Faberge eggs.
Oh, Peter, you know me so well.
You want Little Star? It's yours.
I'd give you a team But you're already shorthanded.
I know.
I know.
It's all right, me and Neal, we can manage alone, right? Yeah.
I'm sure we'll manage.
On the surface, Little Star is a thriving importer of antiques and old world curio.
But if these Greytrade sales lists are legit-- He's selling a lot more than trinkets and baubles.
He? English doesn't have a gender-neutral singular pronoun.
You think behind those crates are a 13x19-foot Jan Matejko battle scape, a bohemian crystal chandelier, and a "strongbox of Portuguese dobrao"? And two imperial Faberge eggs.
Where do you even find these things? Europe in the '40s.
Look, if this stuff isn't in there and we start flashing badges-- - Yeah, we're gonna spook 'em.
- Yeah.
[Sighs.]
What are you thinking? I go in as a designer, argue that I had an appointment.
I'll check the place out while they're showing off the wares.
What am I doing? Peter wouldn't have passed for a designer, but you actually could.
We could be associates.
Great.
Assuming you can speak from a place of education on Islamic influence in Silk Road ceramics.
Silk Road.
Don't worry about it.
How about I go in first, and I'll pull you in once I've checked the place out and confirmed it's legit? Okay.
All right.
Neal, be careful.
This is not an arms dealer, but we still don't know who we're up against, right? Right.
Hey, we gotta get you out of here.
Neal, I repurposed a UV inductor from a tanning bed.
Perfect radiation.
Bye-bye, victory bonds.
- Shouldn't you be at work? - I am at work.
My new handler is looking for the proprietor of Little Star Merchandise.
Oh, the Persian rug sale.
No, Moz, he's here to arrest you.
You don't have a contingency plan? I have contingency plans.
What do you think I'm doing? I don't know, some last-minute filing? How could you bring him here? I didn't bring anyone here.
The bureau cracked Greytrade.
I knew when those pencil necks at UCLA invented the Internet that I would end up like a trapped rat.
Mozzie, I'm gonna get you out of here, but I need you to breathe.
I can't breathe.
I refuse to breathe.
I am enacting the Roanoke Praxis.
What's the Roanoke Praxis? My ultimate disappearing act.
- Are those-- - My teeth, yes.
How did you-- actually, no.
I don't wanna know.
Why are your teeth in a plastic bottle? Oh, my God, it burns! They have to find something in the fire.
Watch this.
Are you crazy? This is awesome.
What are you doing? I'm cancelling the Roanoke Praxis.
[Alarm blaring.]
What the hell? Does your other contingency plan involve burning anything down? Not as such.
Then we're going with that one.
Now, gather up your teeth, and get out.
And leave the tomatoes.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, it says "By appointment only.
" - Can you read? - You hear the fire alarm? I'm a federal agent.
I'm coming in.
- What the hell, Neal? - Maybe I got made.
Can you cut that off, please? Now, I'm under the impression that Neal Caffrey doesn't get made.
If you had something to do with this, Neal, I swear-- Look, I can assure you, blaring alarms are not my style.
Hey.
Stop! - Persian rug sale? - Get your hands up.
You're not going anywhere.
Oh, tell that to Emile Berliner.
[Opera music.]
Man, he's fast.
Wouldn't have thought the little guy had it in him.
- Should we split up? - No, no, no.
He's gone.
Any idea who Emile Berliner is? Couldn't even venture a guess.
He was just burning documents in here.
We had our chance, and we missed him.
Not necessarily.
[Laptop fan whirs.]
Anything? There's life, but not much.
Do you think we'll be able to-- [computer beeping.]
Oh, I doubt it.
Between the fire damage and the encryption, it's like digging through lasagna.
Let me take a shot at it.
I have some computer forensics experience.
Computer forensics.
How fortunate.
I'll take this in my office.
We lost Little Star? He had some kind of escape plan.
Did you get a visual? Short, balding, bespectacled.
Tell me you're joking.
Short, bald guy with prewar treasure.
Diana, sound like somebody we know? - What? - Never mind.
Agent Burke, you think we have a positive I.
D.
on this Little Star? Ask Neal.
I have a friend who fits the bill, and Agent Burke is jumping to conclusions.
Look, whoever he is, we saw him.
You can sketch him, right? Oh, shouldn't be a problem.
Good.
That's Little Star? And I think we can both agree it looks nothing likes Mozzie.
[Sighs.]
I want Siegel to confirm.
No problem.
[Clears throat.]
Satisfied? Pictures don't lie.
It's one hell of a coincidence.
Farsightedness and male-pattern baldness are epidemic, Peter.
[Knock at door.]
Peter, you have a minute? Sure, come on in.
Get that to Siegel.
Excuse me.
We have to talk about Diana.
[Laughs.]
Don't worry.
I'm gonna pull her out.
Oh, I don't think you should.
I mean, you've already taken her off fieldwork.
Ooh, she's eight months pregnant.
And about to pop, but she says she's fine.
She's been camped out in the conference room for two days.
Running a city-wide operation.
Jones, I can't put her or her baby at risk just because she wants to close the book on Greytrade.
Look, Peter, I'm no psychologist, but I don't think it's about this case.
I mean, she's staring down the barrel at Diana Berrigan, single mother, and that's scary.
But I think the idea of her losing Diana Berrigan, Special Agent-- I just think that's scarier.
She knows she always has a place here.
But does she? I mean, you were talking about taking her off casework because she's tired.
And are you really gonna feel good about sending her on a raid when she's got a kid at home? Look, you're the boss now.
It's a tough call.
I get the position you're in.
I'm just saying I get the position she's in too.
You know, if you're bored, I'm sure Berrigan could use your help.
Nope, I'm not bored.
Does the name Teddy Winters mean anything to you? Never heard of him.
Mm, maybe Teddy Winters is Little Star.
Let's see what we got on him.
Where are you, Teddy? Bingo.
Prints, dental records, bank accounts.
Photograph? No, doesn't look like it.
Teddy Winters is on the grid but only barely.
Anything actionable? Not yet.
Were you followed? Oh, God.
The FBI shuts down Little Star, and this is your alternative revenue stream? This is my camouflage, security through obscurity.
Not sure that principle applies here.
Says you.
Plus I made $11.
50.
[Coin drops.]
High roller.
Listen, with all the heat here in New York, I'm thinking of catching a train down to Miami.
You can stick around a little longer.
I managed to steer Peter off the scent.
Oh, a slight reprieve.
And Little Star? Siegel did salvage your laptop.
That's why you can't prematurely extinguish the Roanoke Praxis.
All he found was an alias.
Oh, well, aliases are a dime a dozen.
So which one of my noms de guerre am I retiring? I think it's from before I knew you.
Teddy Winters? They found me.
Oh, I'm sorry, that wasn't clear when you were being held at gunpoint? No, you don't understand.
They found me.
So you stay out of the light and burn an alias.
It's hardly Defcon One.
Teddy Winters isn't an alias, Neal.
You mean Exactly.
Babies in baskets rarely arrive with birth certificates.
I was no exception.
I was homeless, nameless, purposeless.
Histrionic.
You'll never really understand the plight of the orphaned, not truly.
If you showed up without a name, where did Teddy Winters come in? Oh, well, once I got old enough, I struck out to uncover my origins.
I started at the Wayne County clerk's office.
You were checking birth certificates? Mm-hmm.
Every boy in or around Detroit born a month prior to my abandonment.
And that's where you found Teddy Winters.
Yeah, his was the only certificate unaccounted for.
Every other baby boy had either a body or a grave.
You do look like a Teddy.
Frankly, I prefer Theodore.
Good to know.
That name is tied to everything, Neal: My storehouses, my safe houses, my traditional houses.
If they have Teddy, they have it all.
Why keep it active after all this time? Just in case my parents came looking.
If you let Teddy die, no one would ever find him.
Including the FBI.
Mozzie, I hate to say this, but I think you might have had the right idea earlier.
Train to Miami? No.
The Roanoke Praxis.
You still have those teeth? - Can we trade jobs? - Nope.
- Are you sure? - I'm sure.
I'm not the one who thinks my teeth need a different host.
Well, they do.
You're not usually this squeamish.
Well, pulling my own teeth is one thing, but a dead man's? On the off chance that there actually is a heaven, this is definitely gonna get me barred.
I think we took heaven off the table a long time ago, Mozzie.
Fine, I'll go to the morgue, but I'm doing this under protest.
Duly noted.
I'll meet you back here in half an hour with the combustibles.
Great, whatever you get, just make sure it makes a loud boom.
I can do that.
You're here early.
I wanna keep on top of Teddy Winters.
I've been going over this guy's assets, and there's not a lot here, but I did find that.
An account in the Caymans.
Looks like a shell company, offshore laundry maybe.
I don't think so.
When shells launder money, corporate profits are all over the map.
These earnings are pretty regular.
You're right, it's a holding company.
Question is, what is Teddy Winters holding? Seriously? Gasoline and styrofoam? Don't you think homemade napalm is a bit vulgar for Teddy's final au revoir? You said you wanted a loud boom, Moz.
Beggars can't be choosers.
Oh, common misconception.
If you had spent any significant time beggaring-- - Really? - Fine.
Napalm, but I will remember this next time we fake your death.
Fair enough.
[Whistling.]
Mr.
Walinski.
Going-out-of-business sale, Suits.
Come and get it.
Right there, if you start with those three - and just see where it goes.
- We work our way, it'd take us a month just to work through Long Island.
Hey, hey.
We broke it.
- Teddy Winters? - Yeah.
We found a holding company out of the Caymans.
It's pegged to properties all over the city.
This guy has got an empire, and we're gonna take it down.
He won't have anything left.
- That's the point.
- Now come on.
We're gonna go to a loft in Soho.
- Right now? - Yeah, right now.
Hell, yeah.
Come on, let's go.
- Boss.
- Yeah? There's activity on the Little Star IP address.
The usage is erratic, but someone's definitely home.
- It's gotta be Winters.
- The idiot went back? So that's where we're gonna go.
Peter, come.
Nail this guy with us.
- Come on.
- [Sighs.]
ASAC.
I've got responsibilities here.
We won't let you down.
[Soft classical music.]
[Sighs.]
[Cars approaching.]
[Tires screech.]
[Siren wails.]
Flank the building.
I want a team out back covering every window.
- Go.
- Roger that.
Wait, wait, wait.
Why is he wearing a gas mask? Took the fire department six hours to put it out.
Let me get this straight.
Teddy Winters returns to a crime scene, risks exposure, so he can, what, burn down a building he knows we already found? If you saw this guy, you would know that he has severe mental issues.
The fact is we watched him walk in the warehouse with our own eyes.
How about the body? Jones just called in from forensics.
The teeth we found are a match for the records of Teddy Winters.
Did I miss something? Teddy Winters is gone.
We closed the case.
Why aren't we happy? This is why we're the federal agents, and you're the criminal informant.
It's a win when the bad guy is in cuffs, Neal, not when he's a briquette in a burned-out building.
And what if he faked his death? You weren't there.
That dental is irrefutable.
It's not hard to lose teeth.
Give me a brick, and I'll show you.
Diana, how long have you been awake? - A while.
- Go home, get some sleep.
- Boss.
- That's an order.
You too.
I want reports on my desk before you leave.
Caffrey.
- Hey.
- Let me ask you something.
If you were gonna fake your own death, how would you do it? I always liked the idea of jumping off a bridge.
You still hung up on Teddy Winters? Yeah.
Hey, do you wanna go back to that warehouse with me? Take a look? No, Peter told you to go home.
Are you suggesting we disregard direct orders from the assistant special agent in charge? Are you suggesting we follow them? [Laughs.]
Things really are changing around here, huh? Yeah.
Look, I have to finish this, but if you wanna visit Little Star tomorrow, I'm in.
Thanks, Caffrey.
This is Agent Berrigan, Federal Bureau.
I'm looking at three manholes maybe 6 feet apart.
You guys at sanitation wanna tell me which one doesn't belong? [Knock at door.]
Yeah? Do I give this to Siegel, or I'll take it.
[Sighs.]
It's been a long day, Peter.
You mind if I head home? Curtis Hagen is back.
Yeah? They shipped his evidence over here from long-term storage this morning.
I guess an appellate court granted him a new trial.
[Laughs.]
That was our first case.
Yeah.
Seems like forever ago.
Hmm.
You're not the one counting the days left on your sentence.
[Laughs.]
Touche.
A retrial, huh? Think he has a chance? No.
All the proof of his guilt is upstairs.
Just thought you should know.
- Have a good night, Peter.
- You too.
[Taps pen.]
[Grunts.]
[Sighs.]
[Breathes deeply.]
[Soft classical music.]
[Gun clicks.]
Mozzie? [Music turns off.]
Lady Suit.
This isn't what it looks like.
It looks like you're Teddy Winters.
- And if I am? - Then you're under arrest.
Oh, then I'm definitely not.
Stand up.
Can I ask you what you're never supposed to ask a woman? Shut up and stand up.
It used to be having a gun trained on me was a rarity.
Yeah, come on, Teddy.
I actually prefer Theodore.
- [Groans.]
- Oh, oh, are--are you okay? [Sighs.]
Walk, Mozzie.
You know, stress and physical exertion - can prematurely ind-- - [Groans.]
Uh, c-c-can you make it up the ladder? You're gonna have to help me.
[Groans.]
I'm not going to prison.
Mozzie! [Crying.]
Mozzie! We're 100 feet underground.
You're not gonna get any reception.
Oh, you came back.
You may be the enemy, but bad karma isn't hereditary.
What does that mean? Things are about to get messy.
[Groans.]
[Groaning.]
Your contractions are 90 seconds apart.
We don't have time to get you to a hospital.
This can't be happening.
I-I know this venue is in-ideal.
- Take your hands off me! - Look at me.
Look at me.
This thing is coming out whether you like it or not.
Now, you can let the expert work his magic, or you can take your chances alone--up to you.
I don't want you touching-- [Cries.]
Oh, get him out of me! Good choice.
[Phone rings.]
Evidence lockup.
Hello? [Knock at door.]
Yeah? Where should I put this? On this never-ending stack I call my inbox.
- Everything all right? - No, sir.
No, I-I really fouled this case up, and I-I-I wanna apologize to you.
Stop.
We lost our guy, but you did good work.
Don't beat yourself up.
Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Sit down.
[Sighs.]
How's it working with Neal? As far as I can tell, good.
You think he had anything to do with this Teddy Winters fiasco? I don't know.
First time we went to see Little Star, he-- something wasn't sitting right.
But today, Caffrey was with me all day.
Yeah, well, he's always smiling at you right when things go backwards.
My C.
I.
in Chicago was the same way.
Mm.
How was it, passing him off to a new handler? I didn't have to.
I caught him forging Illinois state lottery tickets.
You sent him back to prison.
That's the job.
That is the job.
Yeah.
Well, Neal's ankle bracelet says he's still in the building right now.
Should I be worried about that? I would save your worries for when he's not in the building.
[Laughs.]
Will do.
- Sir.
- Yeah? - Good night.
- Good night.
[Laughs.]
[Opera music.]
Good.
Good.
Good.
Oh, here it comes.
- [Groaning.]
- Okay.
[Screams.]
[Both scream.]
[Cell phone vibrates.]
Peter.
Hey.
- Hey.
- I saw you called.
Is everything okay? Yeah, I thought you were going home.
You know, I-I made it all the way down the stairs before I remembered.
You forgot your hat.
It needs its own tracking anklet.
[Chuckles.]
I'll set one aside for you.
Sounds good.
See you tomorrow.
Take care.
[Baby cries.]
Diana.
Caffrey.
- I'm a dad.
- Not even close.
I'm a midwife.
- What the hell-- Both: Shh.
[Baby crying.]
El.
- Peter? - Yup.
[Sighs.]
Oh, honey.
Come on.
We gotta go.
No, I just got here.
Didn't you get my message? No.
There was a fire.
Then Neal forgot his hat.
His hat? Honey, you gotta get up.
- Come on.
- [Sighs.]
- What's going on? - We gotta get to the hospital.
The hospital? What's going on at the hospital? [Sighs.]
Diana, he is so beautiful.
Yep, you've really outdone yourself this time.
Thank you, guys, for being here.
Look at him.
He has little ears.
What exactly were you expecting, Suit? What are you even doing here? He's all right.
You know, since Christie and I broke up, I don't have a lot of family.
You guys are it, even him somehow.
Little man have a name? [Clears throat.]
Clinton maybe? You know, I was thinking Theo.
As in Theodore Winters? Huh? Yeah, I guess.
Must have been floating around my head.
Wait, wait, you named him after a criminal? I mean, no offense to present company.
- None taken.
- Oh, I think it's beautiful.
- It's very noble.
- Regal, even.
So how long you gonna be out of the office? As long as it takes.
Promise me that you will take your time.
I promise.
I haven't slept in a couple of days.
- I think that's our cue.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
[Indistinct chatter.]
The nurse said that you had him before you got here.
Yeah, I went into labor early.
You did it all on your own? No.
Someone helped me, someone I didn't know.
Who was it? Never got a name.
Doesn't seem like justice is being served.
To not know who to thank, I mean.
Yeah.
Maybe I'll try to track him down once I'm back on my feet.
Yeah.
That might be a good idea.
Good night.
[Baby coos.]
It's poetic, you know.
One Teddy dies.
Another is born.
Maybe he'll call me "papa" or "papoose.
" "Papoose" would be good.
I think you're gonna be disappointed on that one.
It feels odd to be once and for all truly nameless.
That which we call a rose, Moz.
- Teddy may be gone, but-- - But I still smell as sweet.
Not what I was gonna say, but yeah.
What, hadn't you been itching for a new beginning? Yeah, it cost me everything.
Well, we kept you out of prison.
I suppose a Pyrrhic victory is still a victory.
Speaking of bittersweet success, the Mozart worked like a charm.
Mm.
So Hagen will get his retrial, and that sociopathic blackmailer will be back out on the street.
Hey, you paid the piper.
That's the end, isn't it? I hope so, Moz.
But I have a feeling it's just the beginning.
The ASAC's office? They want me to run White Collar division? - What's the gold for, Hagen? - Why's that matter to you? Because I can tell when I've stepped into a trap.
My appeal's coming up.
You're gonna help set me free.
- Hey, boss.
- Diana.
- Look at you.
- It's a boy.
You're choosing someone from outside the office to be my new handler.
Someone who will see you as you are.
A criminal.
[Opera music.]
Bang.
You're dead.
Since when do surveillance cameras go "bang"? Oh, since when do you overstep your mark? Take it easy, Bob Fosse.
You know, anxiety doesn't become you.
I'm gonna get it.
I only had 20 feet to go this time.
At this point, 20 feet might as well be Hannibal's march.
- Hyperbolize much? - I am serious.
Hagen's bonds will be in the FBI's evidence lockup in three days.
If one of those cameras spots you, you are toast.
If you're aiming to reduce my anxiety, I'm not the only one missing my mark.
I am just trying to make your anxiety appropriately focused.
You're not the one getting a new handler.
You know, I think that's for the best.
We've become way too chummy with these g-men.
Maybe a new handler will remind us why snakes don't fraternize with mongeese.
Mongeese? Mongooses? That's why I always go with scorpions and frogs.
How we doing on the Spanish Victory bonds? Hey.
The bonds have to look as if they have deteriorated naturally, so I'm hoping we can induce photolysis.
- Ultraviolet light.
- Yeah.
I came up with the idea while I was sunning.
The radiation source has to be very strong.
But if it is, the bonds should wilt like a newspaper left out in the sun.
Like an inadmissible newspaper.
Yeah.
What's our light source? That is my problem.
You--you have footwork to master.
Back to one.
[Opera music.]
Shouldn't your mug say "World's Greatest ASAC" now? Figured I ought to serve out my first week before I make that claim.
World's greatest aspiring ASAC? You're late.
We usually just hang out and drink coffee for the first half hour.
We do not hang out and drink coffee.
Well, today, we have work.
I made the call.
Jones arrested Brendan Holland this morning.
Three-Time Holland? The Greytrade guy? If we already arrested him, why call in the cavalry? If you were on time, you'd know.
Hey, uh, my new handler, is he in there? You're getting a new handler today? - Yeah, he's in there.
- So? - So what? - So what's he like? Probably late-middle aged, curmudgeonly, prefers Sportscenter to Masterpiece Theatre.
- Curmudgeonly? - Uh, did I nail it? Mm.
You're an expert on handlers.
I'll let you figure it out.
Guys, we're low on man power, so it's only four to a team, okay? So keep your wits about you.
Agent Berrigan will coordinate from here.
Targets will be prioritized by threat level and estimated seizure value.
Ideally, we'll synchronize our arrests.
Oh.
Who are we arresting? Debrief started 15 minutes ago.
Consultants make their own hours.
No, they don't.
Some of them do.
This morning, we brought in Brendan "Three-Time" Holland.
- Holland operates-- - greytrade.
com, yeah.
It's the black market equivalent of eBay.
That's--that's all I know.
You can keep going.
Oh, no, like you said, Greytrade is an online marketplace that has damn near every contraband imaginable.
Thank you.
Diana? Yeah, we're looking at stolen credit card numbers, counterfeit passports, missing artwork.
Is that a slow loris? Caffrey, have you seen my stomach? I'm pretty sure that's a trick question.
I'm eight months pregnant.
I'm not eating or sleeping well, so I'm in no mood.
So I'll keep my interruptions to a minimum.
Got it.
It is cute, though.
- The slow loris.
- And it's endangered.
Look, guys, simply shutting down Greytrade was a big win for the bureau.
We have an opportunity to make it even bigger.
We're going to arrest the sellers.
We can track their IPs through the site, which means we know where they live.
And we have dossiers made up, but once these guys notice that the site has been decommissioned, they're gonna close up shop.
That's why, even shorthanded, we're gonna hammer as many as we can today.
I swear to God, Caffrey, what? If the bureau keeps Greytrade up and running for a few days, we can take our time and bust all of them.
Can't concede the sale of illegal goods, even in the short term.
We don't necessarily have to concede anything.
Really? Well, we're all ears.
Do you want to explain? No, please.
We drum up fake user names, then outbid everyone else.
Since the plan is to arrest them anyway, the bureau won't be on the hook for the payout.
Be a lot of work.
It's not a bad idea.
Thanks for the assist.
Guess I was wrong about curmudgeonly.
- I'm sorry? - What? - Hmm? - Oh, it doesn't matter.
Neal Caffrey.
You must be my new handler.
Must be.
[Rock music.]
Neal, Special Agent David Siegel.
How old are you? [Laughs.]
I'm 31, but don't read into it.
Agent Siegel was a top graduate at Quantico and served as supervisor in the Chicago White Collar division for the past two years.
Actually, almost three, sir.
Windy City division had a work-release C.
I.
too.
Modeled his deal after yours, Neal.
Siegel was his handler.
They had a closure rate in the 70s.
Nice rates.
Why come to New York? - 87.
- Right? I wanna work with you, Neal.
Hey, you're the best there is.
- [Laughs.]
- Your skills are unmatched.
And your smarts are unparalleled.
You might be the most valuable asset the FBI has.
- Might be.
- All right, that's enough.
Do you prefer David or Dave? I'd like to speak to this agent privately.
It's easier for me if I know-- - Go.
- Okay.
Good to meet you.
- Shut the door.
- All right.
[Door closes.]
As our new supervisor, I was gonna give you my old office.
Oh.
Thank you, sir.
But you're not the right man for the job.
I'm sorry? Neal Caffrey is a confidence man.
He preys on trust, desire, and impressionability.
The last thing he needs is a lapdog as a handler.
- I'm no lapdog, sir.
- Sure as hell fooled me.
Well, I'm hoping I fooled him too.
One thing I learned about C.
I.
s like Neal: They like smoke, and I know exactly where to blow it.
You were playing him? I was handling him.
Start moving in tomorrow.
Gotta tell ya, I really like this new kid.
He's smart, hardworking, intuitive.
He loves you, huh? Well, that doesn't hurt.
How's Neal? Neal? You got promoted, and he has a new handler.
It's been a big change for him too.
Mm-hmm.
You haven't talked to him yet, have you? Oh, we talk.
Yeah, of course we talk.
I should reach out to him.
Yeah.
Okay.
- Uh, but, hon? - Hmm? In the morning.
Me? Black, right? When it's good, yeah.
Are you following me? Oh, I don't need to follow you.
You're wearing a tracking anklet.
Uh-huh.
We hadn't talked in a while.
Just a friendly coffee-chat- and-walk-to-the-office thing? - Yeah.
- I can handle that.
Any reason I might be following you? Aside from that you've been following me for almost a decade? Aside from that.
I don't think your new title calls for legwork.
No, I guess not.
Sohow was day number one? - With Siegel? - Yeah.
He reminds me of one of the Von Trapp children, and he's a little overeager, but for the most part, I like him.
I mean, he's intelligent, capable, self-aware.
He loves you, huh? I know when someone is playing to my vanity, okay? But the fact is he came to New York for a reason.
You are one hell of an informant.
I'm usually just following your lead.
It's good you like him.
Yeah, as long as things with us are-- Normal? Yeah, yeah.
I might have a different title, but I'm still the same old me.
Me too.
Maybe I should be following you.
[Chuckles.]
- Diana - What do you want? [Typing.]
[Computer beeping.]
What's going on? I'm multi-geeking.
In addition to posing as Three-Time Holland, I'm balancing chats and auctions under 40 separate nyms.
I don't know what that means.
Multi-geeking is when you operate more than one computer, and a nym is a pseudonym, avatar, user name, whatever.
Did you spend the night here? Three-Time never slept before.
- He can't start now.
- And you're drinking coffee.
What are you, my obstetrician? It's herbal tea.
If you wanna take a break, I can get someone-- I'm not trusting this to some N.
F.
G.
You wanna help? Pull up a chair.
- Yes.
Yes, sure.
- [Mouthing.]
Yeah, we will.
Let's-- Guys, guys, I got something.
Oh, gotta go.
That's my handler.
Good luck with that.
[Computer beeps.]
[Typing.]
I gotta go.
Thank you.
Seriously, thank you.
Yeah, too much herbal tea.
You choose a target? Well, I'm digging through the Greytrade files, and I settle on this one: Little Star Merchandise.
- Little Star? - Yeah.
You know it? Can't say I do.
These guys are definitely selling.
Must be millions in looted art and antiquities.
Yeah, Little Star's our diamond in the rough here.
Wait, guys, shouldn't we go after someone more dangerous? An arms dealer, maybe? Are you kidding me? This thing is right in your wheelhouse.
Yeah, look, they have Faberge eggs.
Oh, Peter, you know me so well.
You want Little Star? It's yours.
I'd give you a team But you're already shorthanded.
I know.
I know.
It's all right, me and Neal, we can manage alone, right? Yeah.
I'm sure we'll manage.
On the surface, Little Star is a thriving importer of antiques and old world curio.
But if these Greytrade sales lists are legit-- He's selling a lot more than trinkets and baubles.
He? English doesn't have a gender-neutral singular pronoun.
You think behind those crates are a 13x19-foot Jan Matejko battle scape, a bohemian crystal chandelier, and a "strongbox of Portuguese dobrao"? And two imperial Faberge eggs.
Where do you even find these things? Europe in the '40s.
Look, if this stuff isn't in there and we start flashing badges-- - Yeah, we're gonna spook 'em.
- Yeah.
[Sighs.]
What are you thinking? I go in as a designer, argue that I had an appointment.
I'll check the place out while they're showing off the wares.
What am I doing? Peter wouldn't have passed for a designer, but you actually could.
We could be associates.
Great.
Assuming you can speak from a place of education on Islamic influence in Silk Road ceramics.
Silk Road.
Don't worry about it.
How about I go in first, and I'll pull you in once I've checked the place out and confirmed it's legit? Okay.
All right.
Neal, be careful.
This is not an arms dealer, but we still don't know who we're up against, right? Right.
Hey, we gotta get you out of here.
Neal, I repurposed a UV inductor from a tanning bed.
Perfect radiation.
Bye-bye, victory bonds.
- Shouldn't you be at work? - I am at work.
My new handler is looking for the proprietor of Little Star Merchandise.
Oh, the Persian rug sale.
No, Moz, he's here to arrest you.
You don't have a contingency plan? I have contingency plans.
What do you think I'm doing? I don't know, some last-minute filing? How could you bring him here? I didn't bring anyone here.
The bureau cracked Greytrade.
I knew when those pencil necks at UCLA invented the Internet that I would end up like a trapped rat.
Mozzie, I'm gonna get you out of here, but I need you to breathe.
I can't breathe.
I refuse to breathe.
I am enacting the Roanoke Praxis.
What's the Roanoke Praxis? My ultimate disappearing act.
- Are those-- - My teeth, yes.
How did you-- actually, no.
I don't wanna know.
Why are your teeth in a plastic bottle? Oh, my God, it burns! They have to find something in the fire.
Watch this.
Are you crazy? This is awesome.
What are you doing? I'm cancelling the Roanoke Praxis.
[Alarm blaring.]
What the hell? Does your other contingency plan involve burning anything down? Not as such.
Then we're going with that one.
Now, gather up your teeth, and get out.
And leave the tomatoes.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, it says "By appointment only.
" - Can you read? - You hear the fire alarm? I'm a federal agent.
I'm coming in.
- What the hell, Neal? - Maybe I got made.
Can you cut that off, please? Now, I'm under the impression that Neal Caffrey doesn't get made.
If you had something to do with this, Neal, I swear-- Look, I can assure you, blaring alarms are not my style.
Hey.
Stop! - Persian rug sale? - Get your hands up.
You're not going anywhere.
Oh, tell that to Emile Berliner.
[Opera music.]
Man, he's fast.
Wouldn't have thought the little guy had it in him.
- Should we split up? - No, no, no.
He's gone.
Any idea who Emile Berliner is? Couldn't even venture a guess.
He was just burning documents in here.
We had our chance, and we missed him.
Not necessarily.
[Laptop fan whirs.]
Anything? There's life, but not much.
Do you think we'll be able to-- [computer beeping.]
Oh, I doubt it.
Between the fire damage and the encryption, it's like digging through lasagna.
Let me take a shot at it.
I have some computer forensics experience.
Computer forensics.
How fortunate.
I'll take this in my office.
We lost Little Star? He had some kind of escape plan.
Did you get a visual? Short, balding, bespectacled.
Tell me you're joking.
Short, bald guy with prewar treasure.
Diana, sound like somebody we know? - What? - Never mind.
Agent Burke, you think we have a positive I.
D.
on this Little Star? Ask Neal.
I have a friend who fits the bill, and Agent Burke is jumping to conclusions.
Look, whoever he is, we saw him.
You can sketch him, right? Oh, shouldn't be a problem.
Good.
That's Little Star? And I think we can both agree it looks nothing likes Mozzie.
[Sighs.]
I want Siegel to confirm.
No problem.
[Clears throat.]
Satisfied? Pictures don't lie.
It's one hell of a coincidence.
Farsightedness and male-pattern baldness are epidemic, Peter.
[Knock at door.]
Peter, you have a minute? Sure, come on in.
Get that to Siegel.
Excuse me.
We have to talk about Diana.
[Laughs.]
Don't worry.
I'm gonna pull her out.
Oh, I don't think you should.
I mean, you've already taken her off fieldwork.
Ooh, she's eight months pregnant.
And about to pop, but she says she's fine.
She's been camped out in the conference room for two days.
Running a city-wide operation.
Jones, I can't put her or her baby at risk just because she wants to close the book on Greytrade.
Look, Peter, I'm no psychologist, but I don't think it's about this case.
I mean, she's staring down the barrel at Diana Berrigan, single mother, and that's scary.
But I think the idea of her losing Diana Berrigan, Special Agent-- I just think that's scarier.
She knows she always has a place here.
But does she? I mean, you were talking about taking her off casework because she's tired.
And are you really gonna feel good about sending her on a raid when she's got a kid at home? Look, you're the boss now.
It's a tough call.
I get the position you're in.
I'm just saying I get the position she's in too.
You know, if you're bored, I'm sure Berrigan could use your help.
Nope, I'm not bored.
Does the name Teddy Winters mean anything to you? Never heard of him.
Mm, maybe Teddy Winters is Little Star.
Let's see what we got on him.
Where are you, Teddy? Bingo.
Prints, dental records, bank accounts.
Photograph? No, doesn't look like it.
Teddy Winters is on the grid but only barely.
Anything actionable? Not yet.
Were you followed? Oh, God.
The FBI shuts down Little Star, and this is your alternative revenue stream? This is my camouflage, security through obscurity.
Not sure that principle applies here.
Says you.
Plus I made $11.
50.
[Coin drops.]
High roller.
Listen, with all the heat here in New York, I'm thinking of catching a train down to Miami.
You can stick around a little longer.
I managed to steer Peter off the scent.
Oh, a slight reprieve.
And Little Star? Siegel did salvage your laptop.
That's why you can't prematurely extinguish the Roanoke Praxis.
All he found was an alias.
Oh, well, aliases are a dime a dozen.
So which one of my noms de guerre am I retiring? I think it's from before I knew you.
Teddy Winters? They found me.
Oh, I'm sorry, that wasn't clear when you were being held at gunpoint? No, you don't understand.
They found me.
So you stay out of the light and burn an alias.
It's hardly Defcon One.
Teddy Winters isn't an alias, Neal.
You mean Exactly.
Babies in baskets rarely arrive with birth certificates.
I was no exception.
I was homeless, nameless, purposeless.
Histrionic.
You'll never really understand the plight of the orphaned, not truly.
If you showed up without a name, where did Teddy Winters come in? Oh, well, once I got old enough, I struck out to uncover my origins.
I started at the Wayne County clerk's office.
You were checking birth certificates? Mm-hmm.
Every boy in or around Detroit born a month prior to my abandonment.
And that's where you found Teddy Winters.
Yeah, his was the only certificate unaccounted for.
Every other baby boy had either a body or a grave.
You do look like a Teddy.
Frankly, I prefer Theodore.
Good to know.
That name is tied to everything, Neal: My storehouses, my safe houses, my traditional houses.
If they have Teddy, they have it all.
Why keep it active after all this time? Just in case my parents came looking.
If you let Teddy die, no one would ever find him.
Including the FBI.
Mozzie, I hate to say this, but I think you might have had the right idea earlier.
Train to Miami? No.
The Roanoke Praxis.
You still have those teeth? - Can we trade jobs? - Nope.
- Are you sure? - I'm sure.
I'm not the one who thinks my teeth need a different host.
Well, they do.
You're not usually this squeamish.
Well, pulling my own teeth is one thing, but a dead man's? On the off chance that there actually is a heaven, this is definitely gonna get me barred.
I think we took heaven off the table a long time ago, Mozzie.
Fine, I'll go to the morgue, but I'm doing this under protest.
Duly noted.
I'll meet you back here in half an hour with the combustibles.
Great, whatever you get, just make sure it makes a loud boom.
I can do that.
You're here early.
I wanna keep on top of Teddy Winters.
I've been going over this guy's assets, and there's not a lot here, but I did find that.
An account in the Caymans.
Looks like a shell company, offshore laundry maybe.
I don't think so.
When shells launder money, corporate profits are all over the map.
These earnings are pretty regular.
You're right, it's a holding company.
Question is, what is Teddy Winters holding? Seriously? Gasoline and styrofoam? Don't you think homemade napalm is a bit vulgar for Teddy's final au revoir? You said you wanted a loud boom, Moz.
Beggars can't be choosers.
Oh, common misconception.
If you had spent any significant time beggaring-- - Really? - Fine.
Napalm, but I will remember this next time we fake your death.
Fair enough.
[Whistling.]
Mr.
Walinski.
Going-out-of-business sale, Suits.
Come and get it.
Right there, if you start with those three - and just see where it goes.
- We work our way, it'd take us a month just to work through Long Island.
Hey, hey.
We broke it.
- Teddy Winters? - Yeah.
We found a holding company out of the Caymans.
It's pegged to properties all over the city.
This guy has got an empire, and we're gonna take it down.
He won't have anything left.
- That's the point.
- Now come on.
We're gonna go to a loft in Soho.
- Right now? - Yeah, right now.
Hell, yeah.
Come on, let's go.
- Boss.
- Yeah? There's activity on the Little Star IP address.
The usage is erratic, but someone's definitely home.
- It's gotta be Winters.
- The idiot went back? So that's where we're gonna go.
Peter, come.
Nail this guy with us.
- Come on.
- [Sighs.]
ASAC.
I've got responsibilities here.
We won't let you down.
[Soft classical music.]
[Sighs.]
[Cars approaching.]
[Tires screech.]
[Siren wails.]
Flank the building.
I want a team out back covering every window.
- Go.
- Roger that.
Wait, wait, wait.
Why is he wearing a gas mask? Took the fire department six hours to put it out.
Let me get this straight.
Teddy Winters returns to a crime scene, risks exposure, so he can, what, burn down a building he knows we already found? If you saw this guy, you would know that he has severe mental issues.
The fact is we watched him walk in the warehouse with our own eyes.
How about the body? Jones just called in from forensics.
The teeth we found are a match for the records of Teddy Winters.
Did I miss something? Teddy Winters is gone.
We closed the case.
Why aren't we happy? This is why we're the federal agents, and you're the criminal informant.
It's a win when the bad guy is in cuffs, Neal, not when he's a briquette in a burned-out building.
And what if he faked his death? You weren't there.
That dental is irrefutable.
It's not hard to lose teeth.
Give me a brick, and I'll show you.
Diana, how long have you been awake? - A while.
- Go home, get some sleep.
- Boss.
- That's an order.
You too.
I want reports on my desk before you leave.
Caffrey.
- Hey.
- Let me ask you something.
If you were gonna fake your own death, how would you do it? I always liked the idea of jumping off a bridge.
You still hung up on Teddy Winters? Yeah.
Hey, do you wanna go back to that warehouse with me? Take a look? No, Peter told you to go home.
Are you suggesting we disregard direct orders from the assistant special agent in charge? Are you suggesting we follow them? [Laughs.]
Things really are changing around here, huh? Yeah.
Look, I have to finish this, but if you wanna visit Little Star tomorrow, I'm in.
Thanks, Caffrey.
This is Agent Berrigan, Federal Bureau.
I'm looking at three manholes maybe 6 feet apart.
You guys at sanitation wanna tell me which one doesn't belong? [Knock at door.]
Yeah? Do I give this to Siegel, or I'll take it.
[Sighs.]
It's been a long day, Peter.
You mind if I head home? Curtis Hagen is back.
Yeah? They shipped his evidence over here from long-term storage this morning.
I guess an appellate court granted him a new trial.
[Laughs.]
That was our first case.
Yeah.
Seems like forever ago.
Hmm.
You're not the one counting the days left on your sentence.
[Laughs.]
Touche.
A retrial, huh? Think he has a chance? No.
All the proof of his guilt is upstairs.
Just thought you should know.
- Have a good night, Peter.
- You too.
[Taps pen.]
[Grunts.]
[Sighs.]
[Breathes deeply.]
[Soft classical music.]
[Gun clicks.]
Mozzie? [Music turns off.]
Lady Suit.
This isn't what it looks like.
It looks like you're Teddy Winters.
- And if I am? - Then you're under arrest.
Oh, then I'm definitely not.
Stand up.
Can I ask you what you're never supposed to ask a woman? Shut up and stand up.
It used to be having a gun trained on me was a rarity.
Yeah, come on, Teddy.
I actually prefer Theodore.
- [Groans.]
- Oh, oh, are--are you okay? [Sighs.]
Walk, Mozzie.
You know, stress and physical exertion - can prematurely ind-- - [Groans.]
Uh, c-c-can you make it up the ladder? You're gonna have to help me.
[Groans.]
I'm not going to prison.
Mozzie! [Crying.]
Mozzie! We're 100 feet underground.
You're not gonna get any reception.
Oh, you came back.
You may be the enemy, but bad karma isn't hereditary.
What does that mean? Things are about to get messy.
[Groans.]
[Groaning.]
Your contractions are 90 seconds apart.
We don't have time to get you to a hospital.
This can't be happening.
I-I know this venue is in-ideal.
- Take your hands off me! - Look at me.
Look at me.
This thing is coming out whether you like it or not.
Now, you can let the expert work his magic, or you can take your chances alone--up to you.
I don't want you touching-- [Cries.]
Oh, get him out of me! Good choice.
[Phone rings.]
Evidence lockup.
Hello? [Knock at door.]
Yeah? Where should I put this? On this never-ending stack I call my inbox.
- Everything all right? - No, sir.
No, I-I really fouled this case up, and I-I-I wanna apologize to you.
Stop.
We lost our guy, but you did good work.
Don't beat yourself up.
Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Sit down.
[Sighs.]
How's it working with Neal? As far as I can tell, good.
You think he had anything to do with this Teddy Winters fiasco? I don't know.
First time we went to see Little Star, he-- something wasn't sitting right.
But today, Caffrey was with me all day.
Yeah, well, he's always smiling at you right when things go backwards.
My C.
I.
in Chicago was the same way.
Mm.
How was it, passing him off to a new handler? I didn't have to.
I caught him forging Illinois state lottery tickets.
You sent him back to prison.
That's the job.
That is the job.
Yeah.
Well, Neal's ankle bracelet says he's still in the building right now.
Should I be worried about that? I would save your worries for when he's not in the building.
[Laughs.]
Will do.
- Sir.
- Yeah? - Good night.
- Good night.
[Laughs.]
[Opera music.]
Good.
Good.
Good.
Oh, here it comes.
- [Groaning.]
- Okay.
[Screams.]
[Both scream.]
[Cell phone vibrates.]
Peter.
Hey.
- Hey.
- I saw you called.
Is everything okay? Yeah, I thought you were going home.
You know, I-I made it all the way down the stairs before I remembered.
You forgot your hat.
It needs its own tracking anklet.
[Chuckles.]
I'll set one aside for you.
Sounds good.
See you tomorrow.
Take care.
[Baby cries.]
Diana.
Caffrey.
- I'm a dad.
- Not even close.
I'm a midwife.
- What the hell-- Both: Shh.
[Baby crying.]
El.
- Peter? - Yup.
[Sighs.]
Oh, honey.
Come on.
We gotta go.
No, I just got here.
Didn't you get my message? No.
There was a fire.
Then Neal forgot his hat.
His hat? Honey, you gotta get up.
- Come on.
- [Sighs.]
- What's going on? - We gotta get to the hospital.
The hospital? What's going on at the hospital? [Sighs.]
Diana, he is so beautiful.
Yep, you've really outdone yourself this time.
Thank you, guys, for being here.
Look at him.
He has little ears.
What exactly were you expecting, Suit? What are you even doing here? He's all right.
You know, since Christie and I broke up, I don't have a lot of family.
You guys are it, even him somehow.
Little man have a name? [Clears throat.]
Clinton maybe? You know, I was thinking Theo.
As in Theodore Winters? Huh? Yeah, I guess.
Must have been floating around my head.
Wait, wait, you named him after a criminal? I mean, no offense to present company.
- None taken.
- Oh, I think it's beautiful.
- It's very noble.
- Regal, even.
So how long you gonna be out of the office? As long as it takes.
Promise me that you will take your time.
I promise.
I haven't slept in a couple of days.
- I think that's our cue.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
[Indistinct chatter.]
The nurse said that you had him before you got here.
Yeah, I went into labor early.
You did it all on your own? No.
Someone helped me, someone I didn't know.
Who was it? Never got a name.
Doesn't seem like justice is being served.
To not know who to thank, I mean.
Yeah.
Maybe I'll try to track him down once I'm back on my feet.
Yeah.
That might be a good idea.
Good night.
[Baby coos.]
It's poetic, you know.
One Teddy dies.
Another is born.
Maybe he'll call me "papa" or "papoose.
" "Papoose" would be good.
I think you're gonna be disappointed on that one.
It feels odd to be once and for all truly nameless.
That which we call a rose, Moz.
- Teddy may be gone, but-- - But I still smell as sweet.
Not what I was gonna say, but yeah.
What, hadn't you been itching for a new beginning? Yeah, it cost me everything.
Well, we kept you out of prison.
I suppose a Pyrrhic victory is still a victory.
Speaking of bittersweet success, the Mozart worked like a charm.
Mm.
So Hagen will get his retrial, and that sociopathic blackmailer will be back out on the street.
Hey, you paid the piper.
That's the end, isn't it? I hope so, Moz.
But I have a feeling it's just the beginning.