Xena: Warrior Princess s05e02 Episode Script

Previously on Xena They sent me to a place that makes Tartarus look like the Elysian Fields.
They call it Hell.
Couldn't have happened to a nicer gal.
You can't have a crucifixion without crosses, Brutus.
You're crucifying Gabrielle All of them.
Xena! I promised to deliver you to my lord and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
Your friend has been taken to Hell.
Aren't you the lucky girl? You get to spend eternity with me.
You've walked through the fire of purification.
Now your cleansing is complete.
Xena gave herself up to save one of the damned.
Are you telling me that Xena is in Hell and she's in Paradise? Love is the way.
What do you want, Ares? I gotta tell you, Kal This place is shabbier than I remember it.
It's gotta be tough when those tributes stop comin' in.
But I digress.
So let's just cut the crap and while you're at it, you stop tryin' to snatch Xena.
Force doesn't work with her.
Never has Never will.
So stop it.
And clear the field for you Nice try.
Are you still mad about me stealing the dark chakram? -That was years ago! -If you hadn't then none of this would have happened.
-Xena teaming up with Eli.
-Eli? He's a sanctimonious stooge.
Who raised the dead Raised the dead A mere parlor trick.
And isn't that what really brought you here? The feel of that force working through him.
No, I think we both know why I'm here.
So you take my advice.
Back off.
Fear, Brother Caleb? Surely, a holy man like you is pure enough to meet the challenge.
Or would you rather die where you stand? I'm really glad you guys I can't believe you're here.
Thank you, Joxer.
I'll get you some food.
I've got something for you.
Look, I saved 'em for you.
I was hoping it could be fixed.
You think? Ok.
Come on, Amarice.
Come on.
We're back Together? Always.
Are you ok? Oh, yeah.
Just a little stiff.
You know, I feel like I've misplaced something.
Your clothes? I think we need to find a market.
I don't know how we'll repair that, Xena.
It's not something you can take to a blacksmith.
This thing Amarice gave me? What is this thing, anyway? In the time of ancient gods, warlords and kings a land in turmoil cried out for a hero.
She was Xena.
A mighty princess forged in the heat of battle.
The power The passion The danger Her courage will change the world.
XENA, THE WARRIOR PRINCESS You're kidding me Xena -That's your chakram.
-Well, it's very sharp.
It could be dangerous.
You don't remember it at all? Should I? Listen I'm a bit hazy on everything right now.
Let's just try to get warm, huh? What do you think? You like 'em? Well, if that's what you want, you'd better ask Joxer.
He's the only one with any money.
I'm kind of surprised, though! Don't you need some scrolls or something? They're not for her.
They're for you.
Me? Why? What's a warrior without a weapon? Is that a riddle? Hang on, I love riddles.
"What is a warrior without a weapon?" Easy pickin's.
Xena! Joxer, help Xena! Come on! Let's go! Come on! Get them! It's not over, Xena! -Kal will have you! -Run, Xena, run! Come on! Xena, what is wrong with you? Don't worry about me.
Joxer got hurt worse than I did.
I'm talking about you, this look.
No weapons Why didn't you fight? Fight? -You didn't even defend yourself.
-So? So you usually pulverize guys like that.
There's something wrong with Xena.
-You're gonna be all right.
-Xena Think about when you fought Callisto? Alti? Caesar? Who? Xena, listen to me.
Do you remember anything violent about yourself or about us? Violent? Yeah, you know Like you and I fighting evil shoulder to shoulder? You mean you don't remember your death or how you died? Some of my memories are a little fuzzy but My death? Come on Xena it's not your memory.
It's like you've lost your Fire and -edge.
-Marbles.
Yourself.
Don't you feel that? I feel empty.
I can't believe the power that brought you two back would make a mistake Unless it was me.
Unless I did something wrong.
Eli, it's not your fault.
Maybe, it has something to do with the guards that jumped us in the marketplace.
-What guards? -Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
They said something about -Kylie, Keely.
-Kal.
Kal's the god of war in this region.
If there's a bigger picture you can bet he's part of it.
One thing's for certain They don't give up easily.
-What do we do next? -I don't know.
But I know someone who might.
-Come on! -Where are we going? To see an old friend of mine.
Eli Who's this guy that we're going to see? Caleb.
He's one of my dearest friends.
We studied ancienct scriptures together before I went to India.
So, he's a scholar.
How's a guy like this supposed to help us fight a god? Knowledge is power, Amarice.
I'm sure there's something in his ancient texts that'll explain all this.
Well, we should pick up the pace then.
Eli Can I ask you something? Fire away.
Look I know that Gabrielle thinks a lot of you and I think a lot about her.
The trouble is, she keeps dying before I can tell her but I was hoping that with your teachings of love and understanding -you could help me tell her.
-Tell her what? That I love her.
You don't need my help.
Just speak from your heart.
No, no, no, no, no.
Look.
You're Eli.
You're You know guru, love god.
Do you have a poem or -like a parable? -Listen, Joxer.
-Maybe I could give her -Joxer, just listen.
Just keep it simple, and she'll understand.
Love is the most powerful force on Earth.
Living with me must have been a nightmare for you.
You had your moments.
Why did I have to kill them? Xena, in order to save the girls, you had to get rid of the slavers.
It's unbelievable.
Hey, Joxer, come here.
Tell me some more about that time that you saved me from that woman.
-What was her name? -Oh, Callisto? Well Actually it was more of a team effort.
Look, Xena, you want great stories about yourself talk to Eli.
He's your man.
I've tried.
She doesn't believe me.
Eli, I know that you believe those stories, but me fighting demons? Come on See what I mean? Amarice, you can fill Xena in on some details, can't you? I would, but I'm going hunting.
Oh, even better.
You're a great tracker.
I move faster on my own.
Wanna bet? Stop it! You're not a child! You're a warrior! When are you gonna remember that and start acting normal? I hope your friend Caleb can deliver.
Hey, Amarice, wait up! What is it, Gabrielle? Before Xena and I died I realized that my path is not the same as yours.
I tried but the way of love is not for me.
I know.
I see that now.
It's ironic.
Right now, Xena is everything that I always wanted her to be.
But without her dark side she's lost.
She's off-balance.
My path is with Xena helping her however I can.
I'll do whatever I have to do to protect her.
Amarice? Amari Hello, Xena.
No! No! Come quietly, and no harm will come to your friend.
Xena Amarice? Are you all right? Where's Xena? I was going to ask you that.
She's not here? -Amarice Are you ok? -What happened? Where's Xena? Kal's got her.
Him and his main muscle threatened to kill me unless she went with him.
Went where? They went this way.
Come on! Let's go! -Bring back memories? -I don't know you.
You should.
I was once on my way to becoming the greatest war god of them all.
What do you want with me? Let's just say I want you to stay as sweet as you are till you get me what I want.
Last one I sent after it is probably toast Purist monk in his order, too.
I don't understand.
What is it that you want me to get? Good question.
Hello, Xena.
What's a nice girl like you doing in manacles like those? Thank you.
Not a problem.
Unlike some people I could name.
Oh, Kal, Kal, Kal, Kal, Kal I thought we had an understanding.
Come on! They're probably killing her.
Amarice If Kal wanted Xena dead, he would have killed her in the clearing.
-She's right.
He needs her alive.
-We need a plan.
I've got one.
-What's going on? -Xena -What did he do to you? -Nothing.
Nothing, I'm fine.
We need to get to Caleb's as soon as possible.
Come on! Did you find anything? No.
Something's wrong.
Caleb's always here.
Well, maybe there's a cook or a servant? No, he likes doing things for himself.
He's a real ascetic.
We always called him the purist monk in his order.
Oh, no.
What is it? -Something that Kal said -About Caleb? What did he do with him? I'm sorry, Eli.
Xena, is Caleb dead? I believe so.
Yes.
It's such a terrible waste.
No.
It's not a waste.
I won't let his death be a waste.
There's gotta be something in these scrolls that explain all this.
-I'm gonna find it.
-We'll help.
I won't know what I'm looking for until I see it.
Besides we've been on the run for two days.
Go get some rest Please.
I'll yell if I find something.
Xena Hi.
I'm really sorry.
-I'll come back later.
-No, no, it's all right.
Has Eli found something? No.
No.
Xena You know how I feel about Gabrielle? Sure.
You love her.
Right.
And I was kinda hoping that since you guys are such good friends and all that, you could maybe give me some tips.
Tips? Yeah, you know, recommendations on how I can tell her.
I was thinking Maybe I could try the "down on one knee" approach or maybe flowers and gifts or I could just club her over the head.
-Do you see my problem? -Yeah, your expectations.
See, right now it's all about getting a response from her.
If ya love her, why don't you just tell her? Don't attach any strings to it.
Make it unconditional.
Yeah, but what if I tell her that and she says "Joxer, what are you thinking?" Joxer No strings.
All right? No strings.
Got it.
Of course, you could just kiss the girl.
Interesting offer.
I know you.
You're the one who freed me from Kal.
Yes, I am.
Relax.
Yeah, that's good.
Just let go.
It's amazing, the difference when you don't resist me.
Amazing Open Free from old wounds, old grudges.
Very free.
And old ideas of right and wrong, good and bad, they just don't get in the way.
Bad? Ops! I forgot.
Bad doesn't ring a bell in you, does it? Neither does wrong or evil.
You know what's strange? I know those words.
I know their meaning, but somehow they have no connection here.
That's gotta be tough.
But trust me -It's for a reason.
-That's what Eli says.
But he doesn't know what it is.
Do you? Oh, yeah.
It's all about you and me, Xena Not Kal, not even Zeus.
Just the two of us bringing peace and order to the world through force.
Something you and I were destined to do together.
Xena Eli Ares You Oh, you know each other? Your hair is shorter but you're still the same.
Only you would take advantage of Xena when she's like this.
Like this? What do you mean? Because she can't remember things that make her mad? Things that fill her with hate? Well When did you become so hard? I still don't get it.
What's Ares doing here? Yeah First Kal, then Ares.
What is it with you and war gods, anyway? Ares wants something.
So does Kal.
What is it? It's the same thing we need to get Xena back completely Chakram of light.
Now, according to this, only the purist soul can touch it without being destroyed.
It's also one of the few things on Earth that can kill a god.
That's why Ares and Kal are involved.
Whoever gets the chakram can wipe out all the other gods and make himself supreme.
Yeah.
And we'd all be slaves.
Look, why don't we just leave it alone, -walk alone? -Well, you'd never be normal.
Those gods would just keep trying until they got it.
All right.
Let's go for it.
So They think they've got it all worked out.
How do you know? You'd be amazed at what a little undercover work'll getcha.
Indulging yourself with a mortal like Xena is hardly work.
My guess is, your attempts to use her failed as miserably as my own.
Cut the dramatics, Ares.
If Xena gets hold of that chakram, it could mean our lives.
I say we call a truce till we stop her.
Ok, no more tricks.
So They're going for the chakram.
Well, let 'em try.
We'll give them a reception they won't forget.
I can make no sense of this.
Whoever you are, whatever you are, that brought me back like this I need to know why.
I don't know how I'm supposed to be but the others say that I'm a warrior, that I kill so that innocent people may live.
They want me back the way that I was.
Do you? Is that your plan? Send me a sign.
How will I know what's right unless you do? Xena Are you praying? I can't help wondering if we're doing the right thing.
Restoring this darkness, my violence Can that really be good? I think it's vital.
I know that sounds strange, coming from me.
I think you have to know the darkest part of yourself to be whole.
But this way, I harm no one.
But Xena, what about the people who harm others? Xena, you have this balance of lightness and darkness.
Without both of those the very best in you is defenseless.
Hey, guys! Can't.
I can't kill.
-Run! -Get 'em! Come on! Is everybody ok? She's not.
She's still not normal.
Around the back! Back door Joxer! Come on! I don't understand it.
The text is very specific about Wait, the chakram now that it's off the altar, anybody could get their hands on it.
No, don't worry.
I've got it.
Bring it over here.
There's gotta be something that I am missing.
Gabrielle I Can I talk to you for a minute? Right now? Yes.
I can't have you dying again -and not have you know.
-Know what? Oh, brother, I had this all worked out in my head and, now Please, will you hurry? Please! I love you.
I'm in love with you.
-I -Xena! Listen up! We've got a proposition for ya! All we want is the chakram! You give us that, we're willing to let you and your friends walk.
-What do you say? -It's a trap! If those gods of war get their hands on that chakram, it's over not just for us, but for people everywhere.
All right.
How 'bout I sweeten the deal? You give us the chakram, I will personally guarantee your safety back to Greece.
I will even throw in your buddies for no extra charge.
Now, I can't stay fairer than that, can I? All right Your call, Xena! You can save your friends! Or you can sacrifice them to a lost cause.
There's got to be a way that we can destroy this thing.
No.
But according to this text if we join the two chakrams together, the power to kill the god will be diffused.
And it will be of no use to them.
Amarice! Give me the broken chakram! Yeah.
Maybe later.
Xena That wasn't your fault.
He left you no choice.
Give me the chakram.
Do you wanna kill me? Come on.
Just give me the chakram.
The killing's gotta stop somewhere.
Let's make it here.
You know it's the right thing to do.
Come on.
Xena, don't do this.
Xena Xena! Ok.
Welcome back! It's good to be back.
Amarice! Look out! I don't get you.
Why'd you do it? Do what? Neutralizing the chakram Why'd you balance it? You had the power to kill us all.
No one deserves that kind of power, Ares.
-Least of all, me.
-Smart move.
-Brought you back.
-With a vengeance.
I'm gonna catch you around the Acropolis.
This isn't goodbye.
It never will be.
Are you sure you won't stay for another day or two? I mean, after all, Greece is a long way off.
The sooner we get started, the sooner we'll get there.
Of course, you could always change your mind and come with us.
I know, but Caleb's scrolls can teach me a lot of things -I can't learn anywhere else.
-Sounds awfully dull.
Compared to life with you, anything is dull.
Eli You brought us back from the dead.
-And I'm -Xena It wasn't me or at least not all me.
Safe journey, Xena.
Yeah, you too.
-Gabrielle -Joxer -No, no, no, no.
Look -About what you said -No.
It's all right.
-About what you said It's ok.
It's ok.
It's just You don't have to say anything.
You don't have to say anything.
It's just I I wanted to just let you know.
I just wanted to let you know.
No strings.
It feels so good to be going home Going home in more ways than one.
-Thanks, Gabrielle.
-For what? For pointing the way back to my rotten old self.
It's a pleasure.
Did I do that? I didn't think about it at the time but when I asked for a sign to show that I was doing the right thing you showed up.
You know what they say? Timing is everything.
Yeah.
Well Not everything.