Cold Feet (1997) s05e03 Episode Script
Series 5, Episode 3
l was between meetings.
l just wanted to know if you were free for some lunch.
l'd be freer if Ramona was around, but l can make you something if you like.
No, no, l'm fine.
Look, l was wondering ermif you wanted to go away one night when David's got the kids.
What did you have in mind? Just this hotel.
lt's supposed to be fantastic.
l just haven't had the chance to try it yet.
Well, Wednesday's my free night.
Yes, l know.
- You've already booked it, haven't you? - Now, would l be so presumptuous? Yeah.
You would.
l'll pick you up at 6:00, then.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Hi.
l'm back.
Hello? Oh, my God.
Josh, will you put that back? - Do you have another card? - Not on me, no.
- ls there a problem? - lt's been rejected three times.
- That can't be right.
- What about cash? Not for that much.
Josh, will you put that back? l've got £40 on me.
Well, l suppose you could pick out what you can afford.
No.
Can you just try again, please? - l've tried three times.
- Thank you very much for your help.
Josh, come on! - Robyn.
- Mmm? Have you ever done this before? - Sex? - No.
With a client.
No.
No, it's not something The Law Society encourages.
Then why me? l don't know.
Maybe Maybe because of all the men l usually meet you're the only one who would ask that question.
(Mobile ringtone) Karen.
To what do l owe this unexpected pleasure? Cut the crap, David.
What do you think you're playing at? l'm not sure l know what you mean.
My credit card's been cancelled.
- That's very prompt.
- What? l don't think you should have unrestricted access to my funds.
Your funds? Yeah.
Look, l intend to give you an allowance, Karen.
And for the children as well.
£200 a week seems more than fair.
Although l have to check that with my solicitor.
- David! - Yep.
She agrees.
- What, you're with her now? - Yeah.
Yeah.
We're in conference.
ls there anything else? No.
l'm just waiting for Adam.
l don't know where they are.
- Phone him.
- l did.
All morning.
- l've worn his battery out.
- Found it hard to let go? At first, although it's worrying how quickly you adapt.
Someone's got to present a campaign to their board.
You'll want to? - Oh, my God.
- What? l've just realised it's over an hour since l've even thought about Matthew.
Anyway, l'm missing him now.
l don't know where they are.
Right, what are you having? My shout.
Yours when you find work.
Not only unemployed, but patronised as well.
- Two pints, please, mate.
- Sorry, you can't bring that in here.
That? That is my son.
Yeah.
And this is my pub.
And he ain't allowed.
And what do you expect me to do with him? - Leave it at home with his mum? - That is typical.
l don't care, mate.
He's barred.
- There you go.
- Barred? He's only four months old.
Nice one.
Took me 1 8 years.
We just don't cater for children in this country.
- Where are the changing facilities? - Adam, it's a pub.
He still needs changing.
Now, by the smell of him.
Haven't got any nappies.
- Need to do a shop on the way home.
- ls this what your life's come to? How was the immigration interview? - l blew it completely.
- l'm sure you didn't.
l was sitting there, listening to myself, thinking, ''l wouldn't believe this.
'' l mean, visa runs out, weeks later pops the question.
No.
lt's not gonna look good on paper.
Adam, do you think Jo married me for a visa? - lt certainly wasn't for your looks.
- Or my money.
But you did get married for the right reasons, so l'm sure they can tell.
- Do you reckon? - Yes.
l mean do Pete and l really love each other that much, or were we just thrown together by circumstance? Makes you think, though.
Ah, away with you.
l'm sure she's nuts about you.
- l've been a bit daft, haven't l? - Yeah.
Though some women might find that attractive.
- So what happens now? - Wait for the letter.
See if she's in or she's out.
Right.
Are we off? Adam! Argh! Sorry.
On you come.
(Door closes) - At last! Where have you been? l tell you, they've got very good changing facilities.
Bit small, but very clean.
Oh, sweetheart.
Hello! So, how was your day? Good.
Fine.
- What's for dinner? - Chicken Kiev.
Hello.
Right, l'll take him up, get him a bath and put him to bed.
Don't you want to get the meal on first? - Me? l've been to work all day.
- l've been a parent.
And l'm about to take him up and put him to bed.
- Because you want to.
- So? So l want to sit on my arse.
No, Adam, it doesn't work like that.
l bring home the bacon, you have to cook it and clean up after it.
- What? - lt seemed to work OK while you were working.
- That's right.
Have a dig.
- Come on.
l'm tired.
Yeah, well, l'm exhausted.
This isn't a competition.
Takeaway.
- OK.
- l'll cook tomorrow night.
Oh, no.
l'm not going to be here.
Some awards do, l suppose.
No, l've got to go to bloody Milan.
Looking at a client's factory.
- Leaving me holding the baby? - That's your job.
l don't have a job, as you seem intent on reminding me.
lt's just for one night and Howard thinks it would be useful.
Who in the holy shite is Howard? Howard is the client.
We're going together.
This gets better.
Adjoining rooms? You used to go away to work all the time.
l didn't mind.
ln computing, the computers were sexier than the women.
Howard is 50, he looks like Danny DeVito and he's gay.
Does that make you feel any better? A little.
Good.
Because l'm hungry.
lt was just sex for its own sake, Pete.
lt was shallow and sordid, if you stop to think about it.
Which l didn't.
l'm just not used to attractive women coming on to me like that.
l went along with it.
Twice.
When you rang me, you said there was a problem you wanted to discuss.
Yeah.
Can we get to it, please? l think my tea's nearly ready.
This is the problem.
What? That you had no-strings sex with a fully-consenting, attractive woman? - Yeah, but - But nothing.
Cor, life is wasted on some people.
David, you're allowed to enjoy yourself before you die.
So you think l should go for it? You have a duty to.
On behalf of the rest of mankind.
Ooh.
Ooh, yeah.
Ooh.
No.
Ooh, that's nice.
No.
- l'm sorry.
- Oh.
lt's OK, Karen.
- You know Lee, don't you? - Hello.
Hi, Karen.
Erm l'll just use your bathroom if that's all right.
Yeah, sure.
And erthen you go.
OK? (Whispers) Quick! Come here.
l think he was surprised that when l invited him in for coffee, he get coffee.
- He can stay the night if you want.
- No, l don't want him to.
- l'm a good Catholic girl.
- Ramona, it's me.
Karen.
OK.
Listen, he is such a flirt.
He's alwayswith all the women.
l think if ltoo quickly, he's gonna So instead l'm going to treat him mean, keep him enthusiastic.
Do you not think that's a slightly risky tactic? Karen, it's me.
Ramona.
l'm going to play him like a fish.
And believe me, when l land him, he no want to go back in the water.
- l don't need to go yet.
- No? But l want to go to bed.
Thank you for my present.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
Maybe you'll wear it some time.
Maybe l am.
RACHEL: Right.
Flight details and hotel are up there.
l'll have my mobile with me.
Here's a list of things you might like to do.
These are things you need to do.
Washing, ironing, hoovering.
Do you know where we keep the hoover? Rachel, if we're going to swap roles, l get to nag.
(Horn beeps) - That's my cab.
Bye-bye, my love.
- (Cries) - Oh, God.
Bye.
l'll see you tomorrow.
Tomorrow teatime.
l'll make sure l have it ready for you.
Hey! l've got a new video.
You've got a new video, have you? Great.
We'll look at that in a minute.
Hi.
There you are.
Oh, thank you so much.
ls that my spending money? You could always go back to work.
Mark gave you a job before.
l'm sure he'd be willing again.
Are you intending to sell the house from under me as well? l haven't decided what to do yet.
lt's difficult when you don't know its value.
- That was very childish, Karen.
- And stopping my credit card wasn't? lf you need me, l'll be on my mobile.
Mark and l are going away for the night.
To a hotel.
Well, l trust he's paying.
Pete? - Hey! Ramona.
- Hello.
l didn't expect to see you.
ln a fitness club? Jo invited me.
l'd rather be at home with my feet up.
- You're a member here? - Yeah.
Oh and erl know Lee.
l know his type.
Fancies the arse off himself.
So do they.
- l bet he has the pick of the women.
- Yeah? What about Jo and her men's members, then? He's on the prowl.
Watch out.
Hi, gorgeous.
Hi.
Lee.
(Mouths) Do you want another drink? - Yeah, but l'd better stay on the juice.
- OK.
You're Pete, right? Jo's old man.
- Er Yeah.
How did you work that one out? - She described you.
Oh, really? - So, what's it like being married to her? - Tough, but someone's got to do it.
Yeah.
She begged me once.
Really? l told her l'm not the marrying kind.
Really.
She was joking.
Hi.
lt's going quite well.
- Are you all right? - Yeah.
- Here you are, mate.
Thanks a lot.
- Cheers.
Blimey.
l never want to go home.
- We've only been here five minutes.
- Yep.
And l don't want to go home.
- Did you see the hot tub in the bathroom? - Yeah.
They've also got one in the health spa.
And apparentlythey've got a heated pool.
What time's dinner? - 8:00.
- Make it 9:00.
Why is that, then? Fancy a swim? No.
Finally.
(Phone rings) (Baby cries) Hello, sweetheart, it's me.
ls that Matthew l can hear? Yes.
Shh.
He should really be in bed by now, love.
Yeah.
So how's Milan? lt's fine.
You know, it's a city.
An ltalian city.
Not quite Manchester.
Shh.
Enjoying the sights? Well, they did take me for a tour after we'd had lunch in this little trattoria.
lt was nice.
Ha.
What about tonight? Clubbing? Business class flight home tomorrow? So how's your day been? What have you been up to? Oh, er Eh-oh.
Good boy.
Come on.
Ah, lovely.
(Baby cries) Bed indeed.
Come on.
(Baby cries) Nice.
Thanks very much.
There's Tinky Winky.
(Baby cries) He's gay.
Nothing really.
(Knock on door) That's Howard.
We're going out for dinner.
l shall see you tomorrow.
l can't wait.
Right, bye.
l'll bet.
l thought we might go away this weekend.
Stay in a hotel somewhere.
- l thought it might be fun.
- (Thudding) - Josh? - (Josh cries) Hang on, Robyn.
l'll call you back.
Karen, we'd better get a move on.
They stop serving food at 1 0:00.
Quite frankly, l'm starving.
(Mobile rings) Please don't answer that.
Karen, don't answer it, please.
- Hello? - Karen, it's David.
- What? - lt's Josh.
Are you gonna be silent the whole way? l'm concentrating on the driving.
l don't understand why we've got to come back.
- He dislocated his elbow.
- Yeah, which is now reset.
He's going to feel a little bit sore and not want to sleep on the top bunk again.
l don't understand why we had to change our plans.
l'm sorry, but l want to be there when he wakes up.
l wouldn't be able to enjoy myself anyway.
Yeah, don't think that didn't occur to David.
What? Josh wasn't kept in hospital.
David didn't really need to call, did he? He just wanted to ruin our night.
Sorry, but now you're being paranoid.
Next you'll be saying David pushed him.
Oh, for God's sake.
Just drive.
Yes, dear.
Thank you for my lift.
l'll see you tomorrow, yeah? - Don't l even get invited in for coffee now? - Yeah, if you want to.
Look.
l'm nuts about you.
You're fun.
Sexy.
You're way smarter than me.
But l'm feeling like l'm 1 5 again.
l don't have a clue where l stand.
You've got to give me some hope here.
But l did.
l said l'll see you tomorrow.
Tomorrow morning.
When you serve me breakfast.
(Bleeping) - Bastard.
Machine's eaten my card.
Have you forgotten your number? ''lnsufficient funds.
'' Well, you'd better ask your missus for some more housekeeping.
- Shouldn't you be at work? - Yep.
Look, lend us a tenner, will you? - Actually, best make it 50.
Come on.
- Eh? Ta, fella.
- Right, l'll see you later.
- See you.
Adam, do you think Jo married me to get a visa? Peter, we have done this.
l know, but this bloke she works with said that Jo asked him to marry her before she went back to Oz.
- You're joking.
- No, he said she was.
But when he turned her down, she would say she was joking.
Well, of course it was a joke.
l'm gonna have it out with her.
Make sure you have some evidence.
Systems analyst? l'm perfect for this.
- Look, don't go back to work.
- l'm not.
Look after him.
l have an interview.
l've got something to do.
- Pete, l can get this.
- l'm sorry, Adam.
l can't.
Jo? Are you here? (Beep) Bingo.
Hi.
Adam Williams.
The job agency should have called you.
Yes.
Just take a seat over there, Mr Williams.
Thanks.
Ah.
Duncan.
How are you? Oh, God, am l glad to see you.
- lt's Mr Mum.
- Very droll, Duncan.
Very droll.
Look, will you look after him while l'm in there? MAN: Duncan Courts? - Sorry, mate.
Good luck.
JO: l've moved in with a friend of a friend.
His name's Pete.
He's not what you'd call a looker, or l would for that matter.
But he seems harmless enough.
MAN: Adam Williams? - Hi.
- Hi.
This doesn't fall within your duties and l'm not trying to take advantage, but is there any possibility? - Come on in.
- Thanks.
Excuse the attire but l've only just found out about the job.
lt's what you can do l'm interested in.
- Take a seat.
- Thanks.
JO: l held an aerobics class today.
Pete came along, and this bloke he works with, Suggs.
God, he's gorgeous.
Migrating your existing core systems to a Unix platform would save money in software licences, which could then be spent upgrading the server.
(Baby cries) - What the hell is that noise? The ancillary systems would then follow.
The thing is, he's late for his feed.
Can you just give me a moment? JO: The poms want to kick me out, which is a bummer cos l love it here.
l'd do anything to stay.
Any ideas? He knows when his milk's five minutes late.
Andrew Harris? Maybe l can go back in afterwards.
(Mobile ringtone) - Yeah, hello? KAREN: Mark, it's me.
You know you're supposed to be coming round at 6.
:00? - l'm stuck in traffic.
- Do you want me to make it later? No.
Half an hour earlier? Sorry, but l need someone to look after the kids.
Ramona's got a doctor's appointment.
Can't she change it? l don't want to ask her.
l think she's having a coil fitted.
Ooh.
Erm, Karen, it's not very convenient, love.
Can't you ask David? He is their father.
Well, l was hoping you might want to help.
lt'll only be for half an hour.
Karen, l'm running very late for a meeting.
Fine.
Fine.
Er (Mobile ringtone) lf this is to blame me again, l'm ringing off.
No, it's not.
lt's to ask you a favour.
What? Would you mind looking after the children for a bit, please? Sure.
Look.
There's Mummy.
Wave to Mummy.
Hello! You've come to meet Mummy.
What a lovely surprise.
Well, surprise, certainly.
Hi.
Adam.
Rachel's husband.
Oh, hi.
Howard Trigg.
Howard.
You're looking very well.
Especially for your age.
So what did you go to Milan for? Cosmetic surgery? Thanks for the trip, Howard.
That was brilliant.
Shall l ring you tomorrow? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Thanks.
Bye.
Thanks for that.
- Are you trying to embarrass me? - ls that possible? He's not old or ugly.
- Nor gay, but it's what you wanted to hear.
- Oh, terrific.
This is what happens, you know.
Wife stays at home with the kids while the husband's abroad on trips shagging colleagues.
- Howard's not like that.
- l mean you! Adam, we're in an airport.
- Do you not want me to cause a scene? - No, no, l don't.
Not really.
Let's go home.
Come on, hup.
(Doorbell) David, what an unpleasant surprise.
What are you doing here? l could ask you the same question.
Moved in, have you? Moved in? No, no.
Baby-sitting your children.
A job you're welcome to.
And by the way, your son lnsolent little sod.
Tell Karen to call me, would you? Hello, Joshy.
How's it going? Hey - Hey, what's up? - He hurt me, Daddy.
Whoo! Gosh.
l'm shagged.
One of your clients, was it? Jo Why did you marry me? What? You could have had your pick, but you chose me.
Now, that doesn't happen.
Good-looking birds trade up.
Not down.
Unless he's bloody rich.
What are you talking about? Pete, l love you.
l found this amongst your e-mails.
You'd do anything to stay in this country? - You've been reading my e-mails? - That's not the issue here! You were shitting yourself at that interview.
lmmigration could see right through you and now so can l! Pete, l didn't mean this.
This is a turn of phrase.
You were messing about.
Like the time you asked Lee if he'd marry you.
Well, it's anotherjoke at my expense.
Now, l'm going out and l'll be staying in my son's bedroom tonight.
Pete! (Door slams) Thanks for that, David.
l want to talk to you.
About Mark.
Well, he'll be here in a minute.
He was when l arrived.
He was abusing Josh.
Don't be ridiculous.
Josh was crying.
Well, Mark probably told him off.
He twisted his arm.
The elbow Josh hurt.
l'm sorry.
l don't believe that.
Ask him.
He'll say what you want him to say, won't he? You're sad, David, and you just can't stand to see me happy.
My solicitor will ask for an order keeping Mark away from the kids.
And l will be seeking sole custody of them after our divorce.
That's what this is all about, isn't it? (Chopping) l can't do this any more.
l'm sorry.
l've tried.
Well, that's fantastic, Adam, because we have no choice.
l need to get a job.
Go and get one.
You're no use to us like this.
l went for an interview today.
Did anything happen between you and Howard? Of course it didn't! l'm a happily married woman.
- l'm not happy.
- Do you think this is any easier for me? Yes.
You've just been to friggin' ltaly! Adam, l hated it.
l spent three hours wandering around a factory that makes widgets.
OK, so we had lunch, but do you know what the conversation was about? Widgets.
When l rang you up, l just wanted to hear your voice.
Last night, l cried myself to sleep.
l missed our son.
Do you want to give up work? No.
l want to be able to do both.
So do l.
l did not twist his arm.
He was throwing a tantrum.
l just tried to restrain him before he really managed to hurt himself.
- But you grabbed the arm that he dislocated.
- Yeah, l forgot.
l'm sorry.
l handled it badly.
lt comes with practice.
l've done my bit.
l lt's reasons like this l didn't want to have children of my own.
Yeah, but, Mark, l come with children.
Three of them.
So? My relationship's with you, not them.
On a good day.
What about the future? ln future, we make damn sure we've got a baby-sitter.
- No, l'm being serious.
- Yeah, and so am l.
You are not listening to me.
lf you want us to be together, then you have to accept my children.
l do accept them.
As your own? Because that is what it would mean.
You see, this isn't going to work.
lt is working.
We have fun.
Mark, l need a lot more than fun.
l'm 35.
l am not looking for a boyfriend.
l need someone that l can share my life with.
You know, l never made a secret of my views on children.
l know.
l know.
l just thought that if you got to know them, if you could spend time with them, that l love you.
l can't love them.
Then you don't love me.
You love someone l'm not.
How? So that's that, then? We're over.
Unless you want to move in.
Play at being stepdad.
Oh, it doesn't have to end, Karen.
Yeah, it does.
(Doorbell) - Mrs Gifford? - Yes.
We're here to check on your domestic circumstances.
l hope now is not an inconvenient time.
No.
Erm, come in.
l don't normally sleep in the spare room.
l just did last night.
We had a row.
But not a serious one.
Erm, serious enough for me to move in here but nothing terminal.
- Oh, you don't think so? - l don't know.
Anyway, what would you like to see next? l think we've seen enough.
Yeah.
l've never come across a more convincing marriage.
OK, David.
This is about cash and kids.
How much you pay, who takes care of them.
Who has access to them.
Let me do what's necessary and l can deliver on all three.
lt depends how badly you want them.
- l want them.
- That's what l wanted to hear.
Thanks for coming in again at such short notice.
Well, thanks for giving me another chance.
l have to say, l was surprised to get the call this morning.
But, the baby's asleep and l'm ready to give it my best shot.
l don't think you understand.
l haven't called you in for another interview.
You haven't.
You've already got the job.
What? l just wanted to discuss personal terms.
You mean, that performance yesterday l was the best? No.
One of them.
lt was my PA's vote that swung it.
She liked the way you were with your child.
Just one thing.
When you start work, you won't be bringing him in with you, will you? You know as well as l do, in a situation such as this, when both parents are seeking custody of the children, nine times out of ten, the mother will win.
We're content with those odds.
On Friday 5th, your client kept the children overnight without their mother's approval.
On Wednesday 30th, the eldest child, Joshua, dislocated his elbow whilst in his father's care.
Oh, come on! l would advise you against any attempt at character assassination.
Mrs Marsden will tell you herself what a dangerous tactic that is.
Oh, l'm so sorry, Mrs Marsden.
l didn't mean to upset you.
Perhaps you'd like a drink? Well, of course you would.
- Still, will water do? - Robyn, that's enough.
This need never come out in open court.
Stop it! Now! Perhaps now might be a good time for an adjournment.
A chance to consult with our clients.
l'd like to speak with my wife.
Alone.
ROB YN: Let me handle it.
- lt's not a good idea.
- David, you shouldn't - Will you both leave the room, please? Karen, l'm so sorry.
l'd never allow that to come out in court.
lt was just a tactic.
Yeah, and she wasjust doing her job.
Just not a very pleasant one.
l'm not seeing Mark any more.
Because he hurt Josh? No, David, that was an accident.
That's not the reason.
Things just weren't working out.
l'm sorry.
Well, l never like to see you unhappy.
l'll withdraw my residency application.
lt was never my aim to keep you from the children.
And erm, l'll allow you to see them.
lt's not ideal for them to have two homes but erm what mattersis that they have two parents.
We'll share them, 50:50.
lf that's what you want.
Right.
Maybe they can stay with me a couple of nights a week.
And weekends .
.
every so often? You know My travelling.
And your golf.
Oh, how did we ever let it come to this, Karen? God knows.
The last couple of weeks, l've even started hating you.
We had so much.
Yeah, and we still do, David.
We have three very beautiful children.
Let's try again.
To divorce amicably, l mean.
Well, the er the lawyers won't like it very much.
lt's our divorce, not theirs.
l wish you'd let me handle that.
l'd have got you a much better deal.
l got the deal l wanted.
lt's what you pay me for.
l think l'll walk.
Get some air.
Oh, yes, l forgot.
Erm, l'm not going to be able to go away this weekend.
l'll call you sometime.
l don't know.
Let's look at the research again.
Look, it's er, getting rather late.
Maybe we should send out for some food.
Chinese? Yeah, or Thai.
Actually l'm sorry.
You're going to have to count me out of this.
We can do it again in the morning, but, er, let's face it, whatever we decide tonight, we're only going to undecide tomorrow.
And then again three times until we come to the conclusion that this is by far the best ad and we should have gone with it in the first place.
Doug, l'm really sorry.
l love my job but l also love my family and l don't see why the two can't be compatible.
Why do we think that unless we're here till 7:00 it doesn't count? l realise l'm being completely out of line, but er unless l've talked myself out of a job, l shall see you all tomorrow.
Shall we say nine o'clock? Maybe 9:30 would be better.
Thank you, Howard.
9:30.
Right.
Night-night.
You know, she's right.
This is the one.
(Door opens and shuts) Whoo! What are we celebrating? What do you think? - Hi.
- Hey.
- Where have you been? - Shopping.
Bought you a little present.
lt's got Lady Madonna on it.
Thanks.
l'm sorry.
l do love you, you know.
l know.
l know.
Sometimes it's just hard to accept.
You were right, though.
About the visa.
Not that l was after one, but it is the reason we married.
l mean lf l hadn't had to leave the country, then we wouldn't have tied the knot.
We'd have stayed as we were, still going out or .
.
maybe we'd have even broken up by now.
But instead we're husband and wife.
What are you trying to say, Jo? l don't know, Pete.
l don't know.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- After you.
- No, you first.
No, l'm not in a hurry, really.
OK.
Morning! Good morning.
Sleep well? No.
lt's that Lee.
Every time l'm dropping off, he wake me up.
(Giggles) Yeah, he wake me up too.
Perhaps you could ask him to keep it down in future.
The noise, l mean.
Want some of this? Just hold the line, please.
Robyn Duff for you, David.
No.
lt is.
No! l meanl don't want to speak to her.
She rang yesterday as well.
Twice.
l'm in a meeting.
Ah.
Right.
l'm sorry, he's in a meeting.
Can l take a messageagain? - ls three enough today, do you think? - You need to take Matthew to his minder's.
- Well, Rachel, l'm late.
- l'm later.
- Oh, come on, then.
- Thank you.
Ooh! l love you two.
l love you too.
- Right, l'm off.
Bye-bye, love.
- Bye.
Yes, get out, nutter.
(Chuckles) For Sale sign! You know, a big wooden board with ''For Sale'' written on it! You're an estate agent, l'm sure you've seen them.
What letter? What, a letter from your office? We didn't receive any letter.
l'm telling you again, we didn't receive it! lt must have got lost in the post or something.
You have to have an appointment! David, l'm sorry.
That's all right, Sally.
This is Robyn Duff.
Oh, he's in a meeting.
When l was 1 5, l had a boyfriend called Martin Norris.
We went out for six months.
Well, l thought we did.
But for the last three months, l never saw him.
He didn't return my calls, he was never in.
l thought he must have gone on holiday.
lt turns out he'd dumped me! He just never mentioned it.
Sound at all familiar? Well? Have you nothing to say for yourself? Me? l don't think it's me that's got the explaining to do! - Not after your outburst the other day.
- Meaning what? l specifically asked you not to bring Karen's alcoholism into play! Wrong.
You said you hoped it wouldn't come to that.
Well, it did.
lt was just so underhand! l didn't seem fair! Oh, grow up, David! l'm your lawyer! Fair doesn't come into it.
All l'm concerned with is protecting your interests.
The way things were going, you'd have been lucky to see your kids at all! Then you'd have been bleating to me about fair! l was doing my job! l don't expect gratitude, but l don't expect to be treated like this either.
Goodbye, David.
Stand clear, doors closing.
Robyn! Sorry, this is an emergency.
Robyn! Robyn! Robyn! Robyn! God, that was further than l thought.
Look, l'm sorry.
Oh, David.
Thank you.
This makes everything OK.
- Really? - No, of course not! Did you honestly think that getting a cheap bunch of flowers was going to make the little lady happy? Actually, l stole them.
Look, l am sorry! So am l, David.
For ever thinking you were anything more than just another client.
l just wanted to know if you were free for some lunch.
l'd be freer if Ramona was around, but l can make you something if you like.
No, no, l'm fine.
Look, l was wondering ermif you wanted to go away one night when David's got the kids.
What did you have in mind? Just this hotel.
lt's supposed to be fantastic.
l just haven't had the chance to try it yet.
Well, Wednesday's my free night.
Yes, l know.
- You've already booked it, haven't you? - Now, would l be so presumptuous? Yeah.
You would.
l'll pick you up at 6:00, then.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Hi.
l'm back.
Hello? Oh, my God.
Josh, will you put that back? - Do you have another card? - Not on me, no.
- ls there a problem? - lt's been rejected three times.
- That can't be right.
- What about cash? Not for that much.
Josh, will you put that back? l've got £40 on me.
Well, l suppose you could pick out what you can afford.
No.
Can you just try again, please? - l've tried three times.
- Thank you very much for your help.
Josh, come on! - Robyn.
- Mmm? Have you ever done this before? - Sex? - No.
With a client.
No.
No, it's not something The Law Society encourages.
Then why me? l don't know.
Maybe Maybe because of all the men l usually meet you're the only one who would ask that question.
(Mobile ringtone) Karen.
To what do l owe this unexpected pleasure? Cut the crap, David.
What do you think you're playing at? l'm not sure l know what you mean.
My credit card's been cancelled.
- That's very prompt.
- What? l don't think you should have unrestricted access to my funds.
Your funds? Yeah.
Look, l intend to give you an allowance, Karen.
And for the children as well.
£200 a week seems more than fair.
Although l have to check that with my solicitor.
- David! - Yep.
She agrees.
- What, you're with her now? - Yeah.
Yeah.
We're in conference.
ls there anything else? No.
l'm just waiting for Adam.
l don't know where they are.
- Phone him.
- l did.
All morning.
- l've worn his battery out.
- Found it hard to let go? At first, although it's worrying how quickly you adapt.
Someone's got to present a campaign to their board.
You'll want to? - Oh, my God.
- What? l've just realised it's over an hour since l've even thought about Matthew.
Anyway, l'm missing him now.
l don't know where they are.
Right, what are you having? My shout.
Yours when you find work.
Not only unemployed, but patronised as well.
- Two pints, please, mate.
- Sorry, you can't bring that in here.
That? That is my son.
Yeah.
And this is my pub.
And he ain't allowed.
And what do you expect me to do with him? - Leave it at home with his mum? - That is typical.
l don't care, mate.
He's barred.
- There you go.
- Barred? He's only four months old.
Nice one.
Took me 1 8 years.
We just don't cater for children in this country.
- Where are the changing facilities? - Adam, it's a pub.
He still needs changing.
Now, by the smell of him.
Haven't got any nappies.
- Need to do a shop on the way home.
- ls this what your life's come to? How was the immigration interview? - l blew it completely.
- l'm sure you didn't.
l was sitting there, listening to myself, thinking, ''l wouldn't believe this.
'' l mean, visa runs out, weeks later pops the question.
No.
lt's not gonna look good on paper.
Adam, do you think Jo married me for a visa? - lt certainly wasn't for your looks.
- Or my money.
But you did get married for the right reasons, so l'm sure they can tell.
- Do you reckon? - Yes.
l mean do Pete and l really love each other that much, or were we just thrown together by circumstance? Makes you think, though.
Ah, away with you.
l'm sure she's nuts about you.
- l've been a bit daft, haven't l? - Yeah.
Though some women might find that attractive.
- So what happens now? - Wait for the letter.
See if she's in or she's out.
Right.
Are we off? Adam! Argh! Sorry.
On you come.
(Door closes) - At last! Where have you been? l tell you, they've got very good changing facilities.
Bit small, but very clean.
Oh, sweetheart.
Hello! So, how was your day? Good.
Fine.
- What's for dinner? - Chicken Kiev.
Hello.
Right, l'll take him up, get him a bath and put him to bed.
Don't you want to get the meal on first? - Me? l've been to work all day.
- l've been a parent.
And l'm about to take him up and put him to bed.
- Because you want to.
- So? So l want to sit on my arse.
No, Adam, it doesn't work like that.
l bring home the bacon, you have to cook it and clean up after it.
- What? - lt seemed to work OK while you were working.
- That's right.
Have a dig.
- Come on.
l'm tired.
Yeah, well, l'm exhausted.
This isn't a competition.
Takeaway.
- OK.
- l'll cook tomorrow night.
Oh, no.
l'm not going to be here.
Some awards do, l suppose.
No, l've got to go to bloody Milan.
Looking at a client's factory.
- Leaving me holding the baby? - That's your job.
l don't have a job, as you seem intent on reminding me.
lt's just for one night and Howard thinks it would be useful.
Who in the holy shite is Howard? Howard is the client.
We're going together.
This gets better.
Adjoining rooms? You used to go away to work all the time.
l didn't mind.
ln computing, the computers were sexier than the women.
Howard is 50, he looks like Danny DeVito and he's gay.
Does that make you feel any better? A little.
Good.
Because l'm hungry.
lt was just sex for its own sake, Pete.
lt was shallow and sordid, if you stop to think about it.
Which l didn't.
l'm just not used to attractive women coming on to me like that.
l went along with it.
Twice.
When you rang me, you said there was a problem you wanted to discuss.
Yeah.
Can we get to it, please? l think my tea's nearly ready.
This is the problem.
What? That you had no-strings sex with a fully-consenting, attractive woman? - Yeah, but - But nothing.
Cor, life is wasted on some people.
David, you're allowed to enjoy yourself before you die.
So you think l should go for it? You have a duty to.
On behalf of the rest of mankind.
Ooh.
Ooh, yeah.
Ooh.
No.
Ooh, that's nice.
No.
- l'm sorry.
- Oh.
lt's OK, Karen.
- You know Lee, don't you? - Hello.
Hi, Karen.
Erm l'll just use your bathroom if that's all right.
Yeah, sure.
And erthen you go.
OK? (Whispers) Quick! Come here.
l think he was surprised that when l invited him in for coffee, he get coffee.
- He can stay the night if you want.
- No, l don't want him to.
- l'm a good Catholic girl.
- Ramona, it's me.
Karen.
OK.
Listen, he is such a flirt.
He's alwayswith all the women.
l think if ltoo quickly, he's gonna So instead l'm going to treat him mean, keep him enthusiastic.
Do you not think that's a slightly risky tactic? Karen, it's me.
Ramona.
l'm going to play him like a fish.
And believe me, when l land him, he no want to go back in the water.
- l don't need to go yet.
- No? But l want to go to bed.
Thank you for my present.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
Maybe you'll wear it some time.
Maybe l am.
RACHEL: Right.
Flight details and hotel are up there.
l'll have my mobile with me.
Here's a list of things you might like to do.
These are things you need to do.
Washing, ironing, hoovering.
Do you know where we keep the hoover? Rachel, if we're going to swap roles, l get to nag.
(Horn beeps) - That's my cab.
Bye-bye, my love.
- (Cries) - Oh, God.
Bye.
l'll see you tomorrow.
Tomorrow teatime.
l'll make sure l have it ready for you.
Hey! l've got a new video.
You've got a new video, have you? Great.
We'll look at that in a minute.
Hi.
There you are.
Oh, thank you so much.
ls that my spending money? You could always go back to work.
Mark gave you a job before.
l'm sure he'd be willing again.
Are you intending to sell the house from under me as well? l haven't decided what to do yet.
lt's difficult when you don't know its value.
- That was very childish, Karen.
- And stopping my credit card wasn't? lf you need me, l'll be on my mobile.
Mark and l are going away for the night.
To a hotel.
Well, l trust he's paying.
Pete? - Hey! Ramona.
- Hello.
l didn't expect to see you.
ln a fitness club? Jo invited me.
l'd rather be at home with my feet up.
- You're a member here? - Yeah.
Oh and erl know Lee.
l know his type.
Fancies the arse off himself.
So do they.
- l bet he has the pick of the women.
- Yeah? What about Jo and her men's members, then? He's on the prowl.
Watch out.
Hi, gorgeous.
Hi.
Lee.
(Mouths) Do you want another drink? - Yeah, but l'd better stay on the juice.
- OK.
You're Pete, right? Jo's old man.
- Er Yeah.
How did you work that one out? - She described you.
Oh, really? - So, what's it like being married to her? - Tough, but someone's got to do it.
Yeah.
She begged me once.
Really? l told her l'm not the marrying kind.
Really.
She was joking.
Hi.
lt's going quite well.
- Are you all right? - Yeah.
- Here you are, mate.
Thanks a lot.
- Cheers.
Blimey.
l never want to go home.
- We've only been here five minutes.
- Yep.
And l don't want to go home.
- Did you see the hot tub in the bathroom? - Yeah.
They've also got one in the health spa.
And apparentlythey've got a heated pool.
What time's dinner? - 8:00.
- Make it 9:00.
Why is that, then? Fancy a swim? No.
Finally.
(Phone rings) (Baby cries) Hello, sweetheart, it's me.
ls that Matthew l can hear? Yes.
Shh.
He should really be in bed by now, love.
Yeah.
So how's Milan? lt's fine.
You know, it's a city.
An ltalian city.
Not quite Manchester.
Shh.
Enjoying the sights? Well, they did take me for a tour after we'd had lunch in this little trattoria.
lt was nice.
Ha.
What about tonight? Clubbing? Business class flight home tomorrow? So how's your day been? What have you been up to? Oh, er Eh-oh.
Good boy.
Come on.
Ah, lovely.
(Baby cries) Bed indeed.
Come on.
(Baby cries) Nice.
Thanks very much.
There's Tinky Winky.
(Baby cries) He's gay.
Nothing really.
(Knock on door) That's Howard.
We're going out for dinner.
l shall see you tomorrow.
l can't wait.
Right, bye.
l'll bet.
l thought we might go away this weekend.
Stay in a hotel somewhere.
- l thought it might be fun.
- (Thudding) - Josh? - (Josh cries) Hang on, Robyn.
l'll call you back.
Karen, we'd better get a move on.
They stop serving food at 1 0:00.
Quite frankly, l'm starving.
(Mobile rings) Please don't answer that.
Karen, don't answer it, please.
- Hello? - Karen, it's David.
- What? - lt's Josh.
Are you gonna be silent the whole way? l'm concentrating on the driving.
l don't understand why we've got to come back.
- He dislocated his elbow.
- Yeah, which is now reset.
He's going to feel a little bit sore and not want to sleep on the top bunk again.
l don't understand why we had to change our plans.
l'm sorry, but l want to be there when he wakes up.
l wouldn't be able to enjoy myself anyway.
Yeah, don't think that didn't occur to David.
What? Josh wasn't kept in hospital.
David didn't really need to call, did he? He just wanted to ruin our night.
Sorry, but now you're being paranoid.
Next you'll be saying David pushed him.
Oh, for God's sake.
Just drive.
Yes, dear.
Thank you for my lift.
l'll see you tomorrow, yeah? - Don't l even get invited in for coffee now? - Yeah, if you want to.
Look.
l'm nuts about you.
You're fun.
Sexy.
You're way smarter than me.
But l'm feeling like l'm 1 5 again.
l don't have a clue where l stand.
You've got to give me some hope here.
But l did.
l said l'll see you tomorrow.
Tomorrow morning.
When you serve me breakfast.
(Bleeping) - Bastard.
Machine's eaten my card.
Have you forgotten your number? ''lnsufficient funds.
'' Well, you'd better ask your missus for some more housekeeping.
- Shouldn't you be at work? - Yep.
Look, lend us a tenner, will you? - Actually, best make it 50.
Come on.
- Eh? Ta, fella.
- Right, l'll see you later.
- See you.
Adam, do you think Jo married me to get a visa? Peter, we have done this.
l know, but this bloke she works with said that Jo asked him to marry her before she went back to Oz.
- You're joking.
- No, he said she was.
But when he turned her down, she would say she was joking.
Well, of course it was a joke.
l'm gonna have it out with her.
Make sure you have some evidence.
Systems analyst? l'm perfect for this.
- Look, don't go back to work.
- l'm not.
Look after him.
l have an interview.
l've got something to do.
- Pete, l can get this.
- l'm sorry, Adam.
l can't.
Jo? Are you here? (Beep) Bingo.
Hi.
Adam Williams.
The job agency should have called you.
Yes.
Just take a seat over there, Mr Williams.
Thanks.
Ah.
Duncan.
How are you? Oh, God, am l glad to see you.
- lt's Mr Mum.
- Very droll, Duncan.
Very droll.
Look, will you look after him while l'm in there? MAN: Duncan Courts? - Sorry, mate.
Good luck.
JO: l've moved in with a friend of a friend.
His name's Pete.
He's not what you'd call a looker, or l would for that matter.
But he seems harmless enough.
MAN: Adam Williams? - Hi.
- Hi.
This doesn't fall within your duties and l'm not trying to take advantage, but is there any possibility? - Come on in.
- Thanks.
Excuse the attire but l've only just found out about the job.
lt's what you can do l'm interested in.
- Take a seat.
- Thanks.
JO: l held an aerobics class today.
Pete came along, and this bloke he works with, Suggs.
God, he's gorgeous.
Migrating your existing core systems to a Unix platform would save money in software licences, which could then be spent upgrading the server.
(Baby cries) - What the hell is that noise? The ancillary systems would then follow.
The thing is, he's late for his feed.
Can you just give me a moment? JO: The poms want to kick me out, which is a bummer cos l love it here.
l'd do anything to stay.
Any ideas? He knows when his milk's five minutes late.
Andrew Harris? Maybe l can go back in afterwards.
(Mobile ringtone) - Yeah, hello? KAREN: Mark, it's me.
You know you're supposed to be coming round at 6.
:00? - l'm stuck in traffic.
- Do you want me to make it later? No.
Half an hour earlier? Sorry, but l need someone to look after the kids.
Ramona's got a doctor's appointment.
Can't she change it? l don't want to ask her.
l think she's having a coil fitted.
Ooh.
Erm, Karen, it's not very convenient, love.
Can't you ask David? He is their father.
Well, l was hoping you might want to help.
lt'll only be for half an hour.
Karen, l'm running very late for a meeting.
Fine.
Fine.
Er (Mobile ringtone) lf this is to blame me again, l'm ringing off.
No, it's not.
lt's to ask you a favour.
What? Would you mind looking after the children for a bit, please? Sure.
Look.
There's Mummy.
Wave to Mummy.
Hello! You've come to meet Mummy.
What a lovely surprise.
Well, surprise, certainly.
Hi.
Adam.
Rachel's husband.
Oh, hi.
Howard Trigg.
Howard.
You're looking very well.
Especially for your age.
So what did you go to Milan for? Cosmetic surgery? Thanks for the trip, Howard.
That was brilliant.
Shall l ring you tomorrow? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Thanks.
Bye.
Thanks for that.
- Are you trying to embarrass me? - ls that possible? He's not old or ugly.
- Nor gay, but it's what you wanted to hear.
- Oh, terrific.
This is what happens, you know.
Wife stays at home with the kids while the husband's abroad on trips shagging colleagues.
- Howard's not like that.
- l mean you! Adam, we're in an airport.
- Do you not want me to cause a scene? - No, no, l don't.
Not really.
Let's go home.
Come on, hup.
(Doorbell) David, what an unpleasant surprise.
What are you doing here? l could ask you the same question.
Moved in, have you? Moved in? No, no.
Baby-sitting your children.
A job you're welcome to.
And by the way, your son lnsolent little sod.
Tell Karen to call me, would you? Hello, Joshy.
How's it going? Hey - Hey, what's up? - He hurt me, Daddy.
Whoo! Gosh.
l'm shagged.
One of your clients, was it? Jo Why did you marry me? What? You could have had your pick, but you chose me.
Now, that doesn't happen.
Good-looking birds trade up.
Not down.
Unless he's bloody rich.
What are you talking about? Pete, l love you.
l found this amongst your e-mails.
You'd do anything to stay in this country? - You've been reading my e-mails? - That's not the issue here! You were shitting yourself at that interview.
lmmigration could see right through you and now so can l! Pete, l didn't mean this.
This is a turn of phrase.
You were messing about.
Like the time you asked Lee if he'd marry you.
Well, it's anotherjoke at my expense.
Now, l'm going out and l'll be staying in my son's bedroom tonight.
Pete! (Door slams) Thanks for that, David.
l want to talk to you.
About Mark.
Well, he'll be here in a minute.
He was when l arrived.
He was abusing Josh.
Don't be ridiculous.
Josh was crying.
Well, Mark probably told him off.
He twisted his arm.
The elbow Josh hurt.
l'm sorry.
l don't believe that.
Ask him.
He'll say what you want him to say, won't he? You're sad, David, and you just can't stand to see me happy.
My solicitor will ask for an order keeping Mark away from the kids.
And l will be seeking sole custody of them after our divorce.
That's what this is all about, isn't it? (Chopping) l can't do this any more.
l'm sorry.
l've tried.
Well, that's fantastic, Adam, because we have no choice.
l need to get a job.
Go and get one.
You're no use to us like this.
l went for an interview today.
Did anything happen between you and Howard? Of course it didn't! l'm a happily married woman.
- l'm not happy.
- Do you think this is any easier for me? Yes.
You've just been to friggin' ltaly! Adam, l hated it.
l spent three hours wandering around a factory that makes widgets.
OK, so we had lunch, but do you know what the conversation was about? Widgets.
When l rang you up, l just wanted to hear your voice.
Last night, l cried myself to sleep.
l missed our son.
Do you want to give up work? No.
l want to be able to do both.
So do l.
l did not twist his arm.
He was throwing a tantrum.
l just tried to restrain him before he really managed to hurt himself.
- But you grabbed the arm that he dislocated.
- Yeah, l forgot.
l'm sorry.
l handled it badly.
lt comes with practice.
l've done my bit.
l lt's reasons like this l didn't want to have children of my own.
Yeah, but, Mark, l come with children.
Three of them.
So? My relationship's with you, not them.
On a good day.
What about the future? ln future, we make damn sure we've got a baby-sitter.
- No, l'm being serious.
- Yeah, and so am l.
You are not listening to me.
lf you want us to be together, then you have to accept my children.
l do accept them.
As your own? Because that is what it would mean.
You see, this isn't going to work.
lt is working.
We have fun.
Mark, l need a lot more than fun.
l'm 35.
l am not looking for a boyfriend.
l need someone that l can share my life with.
You know, l never made a secret of my views on children.
l know.
l know.
l just thought that if you got to know them, if you could spend time with them, that l love you.
l can't love them.
Then you don't love me.
You love someone l'm not.
How? So that's that, then? We're over.
Unless you want to move in.
Play at being stepdad.
Oh, it doesn't have to end, Karen.
Yeah, it does.
(Doorbell) - Mrs Gifford? - Yes.
We're here to check on your domestic circumstances.
l hope now is not an inconvenient time.
No.
Erm, come in.
l don't normally sleep in the spare room.
l just did last night.
We had a row.
But not a serious one.
Erm, serious enough for me to move in here but nothing terminal.
- Oh, you don't think so? - l don't know.
Anyway, what would you like to see next? l think we've seen enough.
Yeah.
l've never come across a more convincing marriage.
OK, David.
This is about cash and kids.
How much you pay, who takes care of them.
Who has access to them.
Let me do what's necessary and l can deliver on all three.
lt depends how badly you want them.
- l want them.
- That's what l wanted to hear.
Thanks for coming in again at such short notice.
Well, thanks for giving me another chance.
l have to say, l was surprised to get the call this morning.
But, the baby's asleep and l'm ready to give it my best shot.
l don't think you understand.
l haven't called you in for another interview.
You haven't.
You've already got the job.
What? l just wanted to discuss personal terms.
You mean, that performance yesterday l was the best? No.
One of them.
lt was my PA's vote that swung it.
She liked the way you were with your child.
Just one thing.
When you start work, you won't be bringing him in with you, will you? You know as well as l do, in a situation such as this, when both parents are seeking custody of the children, nine times out of ten, the mother will win.
We're content with those odds.
On Friday 5th, your client kept the children overnight without their mother's approval.
On Wednesday 30th, the eldest child, Joshua, dislocated his elbow whilst in his father's care.
Oh, come on! l would advise you against any attempt at character assassination.
Mrs Marsden will tell you herself what a dangerous tactic that is.
Oh, l'm so sorry, Mrs Marsden.
l didn't mean to upset you.
Perhaps you'd like a drink? Well, of course you would.
- Still, will water do? - Robyn, that's enough.
This need never come out in open court.
Stop it! Now! Perhaps now might be a good time for an adjournment.
A chance to consult with our clients.
l'd like to speak with my wife.
Alone.
ROB YN: Let me handle it.
- lt's not a good idea.
- David, you shouldn't - Will you both leave the room, please? Karen, l'm so sorry.
l'd never allow that to come out in court.
lt was just a tactic.
Yeah, and she wasjust doing her job.
Just not a very pleasant one.
l'm not seeing Mark any more.
Because he hurt Josh? No, David, that was an accident.
That's not the reason.
Things just weren't working out.
l'm sorry.
Well, l never like to see you unhappy.
l'll withdraw my residency application.
lt was never my aim to keep you from the children.
And erm, l'll allow you to see them.
lt's not ideal for them to have two homes but erm what mattersis that they have two parents.
We'll share them, 50:50.
lf that's what you want.
Right.
Maybe they can stay with me a couple of nights a week.
And weekends .
.
every so often? You know My travelling.
And your golf.
Oh, how did we ever let it come to this, Karen? God knows.
The last couple of weeks, l've even started hating you.
We had so much.
Yeah, and we still do, David.
We have three very beautiful children.
Let's try again.
To divorce amicably, l mean.
Well, the er the lawyers won't like it very much.
lt's our divorce, not theirs.
l wish you'd let me handle that.
l'd have got you a much better deal.
l got the deal l wanted.
lt's what you pay me for.
l think l'll walk.
Get some air.
Oh, yes, l forgot.
Erm, l'm not going to be able to go away this weekend.
l'll call you sometime.
l don't know.
Let's look at the research again.
Look, it's er, getting rather late.
Maybe we should send out for some food.
Chinese? Yeah, or Thai.
Actually l'm sorry.
You're going to have to count me out of this.
We can do it again in the morning, but, er, let's face it, whatever we decide tonight, we're only going to undecide tomorrow.
And then again three times until we come to the conclusion that this is by far the best ad and we should have gone with it in the first place.
Doug, l'm really sorry.
l love my job but l also love my family and l don't see why the two can't be compatible.
Why do we think that unless we're here till 7:00 it doesn't count? l realise l'm being completely out of line, but er unless l've talked myself out of a job, l shall see you all tomorrow.
Shall we say nine o'clock? Maybe 9:30 would be better.
Thank you, Howard.
9:30.
Right.
Night-night.
You know, she's right.
This is the one.
(Door opens and shuts) Whoo! What are we celebrating? What do you think? - Hi.
- Hey.
- Where have you been? - Shopping.
Bought you a little present.
lt's got Lady Madonna on it.
Thanks.
l'm sorry.
l do love you, you know.
l know.
l know.
Sometimes it's just hard to accept.
You were right, though.
About the visa.
Not that l was after one, but it is the reason we married.
l mean lf l hadn't had to leave the country, then we wouldn't have tied the knot.
We'd have stayed as we were, still going out or .
.
maybe we'd have even broken up by now.
But instead we're husband and wife.
What are you trying to say, Jo? l don't know, Pete.
l don't know.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- After you.
- No, you first.
No, l'm not in a hurry, really.
OK.
Morning! Good morning.
Sleep well? No.
lt's that Lee.
Every time l'm dropping off, he wake me up.
(Giggles) Yeah, he wake me up too.
Perhaps you could ask him to keep it down in future.
The noise, l mean.
Want some of this? Just hold the line, please.
Robyn Duff for you, David.
No.
lt is.
No! l meanl don't want to speak to her.
She rang yesterday as well.
Twice.
l'm in a meeting.
Ah.
Right.
l'm sorry, he's in a meeting.
Can l take a messageagain? - ls three enough today, do you think? - You need to take Matthew to his minder's.
- Well, Rachel, l'm late.
- l'm later.
- Oh, come on, then.
- Thank you.
Ooh! l love you two.
l love you too.
- Right, l'm off.
Bye-bye, love.
- Bye.
Yes, get out, nutter.
(Chuckles) For Sale sign! You know, a big wooden board with ''For Sale'' written on it! You're an estate agent, l'm sure you've seen them.
What letter? What, a letter from your office? We didn't receive any letter.
l'm telling you again, we didn't receive it! lt must have got lost in the post or something.
You have to have an appointment! David, l'm sorry.
That's all right, Sally.
This is Robyn Duff.
Oh, he's in a meeting.
When l was 1 5, l had a boyfriend called Martin Norris.
We went out for six months.
Well, l thought we did.
But for the last three months, l never saw him.
He didn't return my calls, he was never in.
l thought he must have gone on holiday.
lt turns out he'd dumped me! He just never mentioned it.
Sound at all familiar? Well? Have you nothing to say for yourself? Me? l don't think it's me that's got the explaining to do! - Not after your outburst the other day.
- Meaning what? l specifically asked you not to bring Karen's alcoholism into play! Wrong.
You said you hoped it wouldn't come to that.
Well, it did.
lt was just so underhand! l didn't seem fair! Oh, grow up, David! l'm your lawyer! Fair doesn't come into it.
All l'm concerned with is protecting your interests.
The way things were going, you'd have been lucky to see your kids at all! Then you'd have been bleating to me about fair! l was doing my job! l don't expect gratitude, but l don't expect to be treated like this either.
Goodbye, David.
Stand clear, doors closing.
Robyn! Sorry, this is an emergency.
Robyn! Robyn! Robyn! Robyn! God, that was further than l thought.
Look, l'm sorry.
Oh, David.
Thank you.
This makes everything OK.
- Really? - No, of course not! Did you honestly think that getting a cheap bunch of flowers was going to make the little lady happy? Actually, l stole them.
Look, l am sorry! So am l, David.
For ever thinking you were anything more than just another client.