Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s05e03 Episode Script

1
[WHISTLING]
>> BBBBB, YEAH!
[SQUEAKING] >>
COMMENCING BACK TO SCHOOL.
SIMULATION.
AND TIME.
[TICKING] UNH!
[DING] THE PAPER CLIPS.
I'VE FORGOTTEN THE PAPER CLIPS!
OH, CURSE THOSE MONTHS
OF UNREGIMENTED SUMMER
IRRATIONALITY!
[SIGHS] I'M SLOPPY,
SLOPPY, SLOPPY.
JULY?
COULDN'T BE.
WE SHOULD BE IN FALL!
SHOULDN'T WE?
>> TOO HOT FOR YOU, ROLF?
[SPLASH] HA HA!
BETTER COOL OFF, BRO!
>> OKEY-DOKEY!
PREPARE FOR ROAS
WATER-LADEN BOVINE BLADDER!
>> HA HA HA!
>> WHIZ, WHIZ,
IT'S TIME TO WHAZ!
WHIZ, WHIZ, IT'S TIME TO WHAZ!
>> WHEE!
SPRINKLE FUN!
>> I LOVE GETTING
SPRINKLED, SARAH!
>> BUT JUST YESTERDAY, THE
AIR WAS COOL, THE LEAVES HAD TURNED.
COLOR.
IS THAT BARBEQUE I SMELL?
>> HA HA HA!
>> UNH!
>> THAT'S
RIGHT, SOCK HEAD.
NOW, GET OUT THERE AND
DRUM UP SOME BUSINESS.
>> READY
FOR SIZZLING, BOSS!
[MOTOR WHIRRING] UH-OH.
OUT OF BURGERS, BOSS.
>> SO GET SOME MORE.
WHAT?!
HEE HEE HEE!
>> EXCUSE ME, EDDY,
BUT I'M A TRIFLE CONFUSED.
>> BURGERS 25 CENTS.
EDDY'S SUMMER BARBEQUE.
GOT IT? NOW, MOVE IT.
WE NEED CUSTOMERS.
>> GOT BEEF, EDDY!
HA HA HA!
>> ATTABOY, LUMPY!
>> CAN SOMEONE PLEASE
TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
>> NICE HAMBURGER
COSTUME NOT!
PLANK SAYS HALLOWEEN'S A
LONG WAYS AWAY, DOUBLE-D.
>> UH, HOW CAN
PLANK BE SURE, JONNY?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT MONTH THIS IS?
>> WHA?
WELL, HEY, JONNY!
WHAT WILL IT BE THERE,
HUNGRY HUMBER?
>> ONE VEGGIE BURGER FOR
ME, EDDY, AND PLANK WILL HAVE TWO.
BEEF WITH LOTS OF ONIONS.
[MACHINERY PULSATING] >>
A DOMESTIC HEAT ENCLOSURE?
A LATEX-BASED PIGMENT?
[BIRD CHIRPING] OF
ALL THE DISHONEST,
FALSE-HEARTED
>> GET THEM
WHILE THEY'RE SIZZLING!
>> WITH RAW GROUND CHUCK,
ED BOY, COOKED RARE LIKE PAPA'S.
CHAFED ELBOWS.
[CHING] >> YOU'RE
TRYING TO FOOL.
EVERYONE INTO THINKING
IT'S STILL SUMMER, AREN'T
>> SUMMER? WHAT?
HELLO?
>> UH, HE SAID
SUMMER'S SUPERSWEET.
ZIP IT, BLABBERMOUTH.
YOU'RE GONNA BLOW OUR CASH COW.
IF SUMMER NEVER ENDS, SCHOOL
WILL NEVER START, AND IF SCHOOL
NEVER STARTS, IT'S
ENDLESS SCAMMING, BROTHER.
[WIND BLOWS] >> AAH!
I'M C-COLD, SARAH.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
>> OH.
>> NO BIG DEAL!
GET THEM WHILE THEY'RE HOT!
>> HEY!
HELP, SARAH!
>> JIMMY!
>> COME BACK!
>> UNH!
>> WHAT IS WITH
THIS WEIRD WEATHER?
>> SEPTEMBER?
IT AIN'T SUMMER.
IT'S FALL, MAN!
SOMEBODY SWIPED OUR CALENDARS.
>> SONAMAGUN!
NIPPLY KEVIN SPEAKS THE TRUTH!
>> CHECK IT OUT, BUDDY!
WE MISSED LABOR DAY.
PLANK'S FREAKING OUT!
>> SO DOESN'T SCHOOL,
LIKE, START TOMORROW?
>> SCHOOL
STARTS TOMORROW?!
PENCILS, PAPERS!
>> BINDERS,
PLANK, BINDERS!
>> I GOT TO
PLAN MY LUNCHES.
>> I'M SO NOT READY!
>> I STILL HAVE
LAST YEAR'S CLOTHES!
[SCREAMING] >> FORGE
ABOUT STUPID SCHOOL!
IT'S SUMMER, I TELL YOU!
>> DOUBLE-D EDD BOY!
ROLF, KNOWS OF YOUR
PECULIAR, PERSNICKETY WAYS.
SURELY YOU HAVE STORED SUPPLIES
FOR THE UPCOMING MONTHS OF
INSTRUCTIONAL HARDSHIP!
THE EDD BOY DWELLING!
OF COURSE!
[LAUGHING AND YELLING]
>> BINDERS, BUDDY!
>> STAMPEDE!
>> CEASE, DESIST!
THAT'S PRIVATE PROPERTY!
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
>> GOOD LORD!
YOU DIDN'T EVEN WIPE YOUR FEET!
[CHEERING] >>
DOUBLE-D's GIVING STUFF AWAY,
EDDY!
>> WHAT'S THIS ABOU
YOU GIVING STUFF AWAY?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO COMPETE WITH THAT?
>> MY SCHOOL SUPPLIES
GONE, PILLAGED, PLUNDERED.
IT CAN'T BE!
[ROOSTER CROWS] IT CAN'T BE!
A HIGHLIGHTER PEN?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE
NOTES WITH A HIGHLIGHTER?
>> DOUBLE-D,
CAN I HAVE YOUR HAT?
>> OH, SURE!
WHY NOT?
WHY WOULD I NEED A HAT WHEN
SCHOOL IS NOW TOTALLY OUT OF THE
QUESTION?!
[MUTTERING] WAIT.
YOU STILL HAVE IT, DON'T YOU?
FROM YOUR PARENTS, YES.
THE BACK TO SCHOOL SALE COUPON?
>> HAVEN'T A CLUE WHA
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, DOUBLE-D.
ALL I GOT IS A BACK TO SCHOOL
SALE COUPON FROM MY PARENTS.
>> THAT STUPID
THING'S WORTHLESS.
THE SIGNS ARE AS PLAIN AS THA
GAP IN YOUR TEETH, SOCK HEAD.
SCHOOL AIN'T MEANT TO BE
BECAUSE IT'S SUMMER, BABY!
>> ED, PLEASE,
I BEG OF YOU.
I CAN'T BE AT AN
ACADEMIC DISADVANTAGE.
OHH!
OUCH!
WITHOUT MY SCHOOL SUPPLIES,
MY GRADES ARE SURE TO PLUMMET.
THAT COUPON YOU'RE FLOSSING WITH
CAN PROCURE THE SUPPLIES NEEDED
TO CROSS THE DESOLATE
DESERT OF SCHOLASTIC LEARNING!
>> OH, PU-LEASE!
>> SOUNDS GOOD TO
ME, WHATEVER YOU JUST SAID.
>> OH!
QUICKLY, ED.
WE HAVE SHOPPING TO DO!
>> OH, COME ON, GUYS!
FORGET SCHOOL, WILL YOU?
SUMMER AIN'T OVER!
BRR.
>> ED.
YOU'D HAVE MUCH LESS BRUISING
IF YOU'D GO AROUND THE DOOR.
OH, AND DON'T FORGE
THE PAPER CLIPS.
>> HA HA HA!
WILL YOU QUIT WASTING YOUR TIME?
THINK OF THE SCAMS WE
COULD BE PULLING RIGHT NOW.
>> TIME IS ONE THING I
CANNOT AFFORD TO WASTE, EDDY.
TOMORROW IS THE FIRS
DAY OF SCHOOL, AND I WILL
ENTHUSIASTICALLY EMBRACE THE
JUBILATION OF ITS MORNING BELL.
>> ALL DONE, DOUBLE-D.
>> BRAVO, ED!
YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE BURDEN
LIFTED FROM MY NONEXISTEN
SHOULDERS.
>> FOR YOU, ONE BAG OF
PANCAKE MIX, ONE BLENDER, ONE.
STEPPITY-STEP, AND A PENCIL.
>> ED, THAT PENCIL IS
RIDDLED WITH TEETH MARKS.
>> WHY, THANK YOU!
>> WELL, GOOD LUCK WIT THOSE
NEW SUPPLIES, EGGHEAD, BUT SUMMER'S.
STILL ON IN MY BOOKS.
LUMPY AND ME ARE GONNA
SQUEEZE EVERY BIT OF FUN OUT OF IT.
SCHOOL AIN'T COOL,
RIGHT MONOBROW?
>> SQUEEZE ME, EDDY!
>> IN YOUR DREAMS, ED.
HA HA HA!
>> ONE MUST DO WITH
WHAT ONE HAS, I SUPPOSE.
>> HA HA HA!
>> HOO HOO HOO!
[SQUEAKING] WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
SLEEPING ALREADY?
HEY, GET UP AND HAVE SOME FUN A
ED'S SUMMER WATER TIME FUN PARK!
ONLY 25 CENTS!
>> DON'T YOU THINK IT'S
BEST YOU GET SOME REST?
AFTER ALL, SLEEPING IN
IS A THING OF THE PAST.
IT'S AN EARLY START TO A
BRAND-NEW DAY, GENTLEMEN.
NIGHTY-NIGHT.
>> WAIT!
HOW CAN YOU GO TO BED WHEN THE
GOOD TIMES ARE HAPPENING RIGH
HERE, RIGHT NOW?
RIGHT, ED?
>> I C-CAN'
FEEL MY L-LEGS, EDDY!
>> SEE?
FORGET THEM, LUMPY.
COME ON! RACE YOU!
GERONIMO!
>> TORPEDO AWAY!
HA HA HA!
STOP, EDDY!
>> OW!
[CRASH] >>
WAIT FOR ME, EDDY!
>> DOUBLE-D!
WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
SUMMERTIME GOOD TIMES ARE WET!
GOOD TIMES.
YEP.
>> PERHAPS SCHOOL WILL ALLOW
YOU TWO THE OPPORTUNITY TO IMPROVE.
YOUR CONSTRUCTION SKILLS.
SWEET DREAMS.
[OWL HOOTING] [ROOSTER CROWING]
[BELLS JINGLING]
[WHEEL SQUEAKING]
[GOAT BLEATING] >>
ROLF HAD TO USE A TROWEL TO.
BREAK AWAY ROLF'S EYE
CRUSTATION THIS MORNING.
>> THANK YOU FOR
SHARING THAT, ROLF.
>> ED, WAKE UP!
>> RACE YOU
TO SCHOOL, KEVIN!
>> RIGHT NOW,
I'M JUST CRUISING.
>> GOOD
MORNING, GENTLEMEN.
I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF
CLEANING AND PRESSING YOUR
SCHOOL ATTIRE.
NO THANKS ARE NECESSARY.
>> HEE HEE HEE!
>> THE DAYS OF RECKONING
ARE UPON US, HALF-NAKED ED BOYS.
IT IS HERE THAT WE SHALL
BE MERCILESSLY JUDGED.
>> THIS STINKS!
>> TIME FOR
SCHOOL NOW, EDDY.
THERE'S NO GETTING AROUND IT.
COMING, ED?
>> OH, YES, I AM.
STINKY BOOKS, STINKY BOOKS
STINKY BOOKS, STINKY BOOKS ♪
[BELL RINGS] HELLO, BELL!
OH. HELLO, LOCKER.
HELLO, SHINY, SPECKLED FLOORS.
>> ISN'T THIS
EXHILARATING?
YOU CAN FEEL THE
KNOWLEDGE IN THE AIR.
>> YEAH, CALL THE NURSE
BECAUSE I'M CHOKING ON IT.
>> OH, LOOK!
THE HOMEROOM POSTINGS.
SHALL WE?
>> SHALL WE?
>> CHOICE!
WE'RE ALL IN THE SAME HOMEROOM.
[GOAT BLEATS] >> LET'S
SIT TOGETHER LIKE LAST.
YEAR, OK?
>> IT IS ALWAYS GOOD TO
HAVE FRIENDS CLOSE BY IN THIS OUR.
TIME OF FIRE.
>> CONGRATULATIONS!
OH, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!
TOGETHER AGAIN FOR ANOTHER
YEAR OF RESOURCEFUL RAPTURE.
ISN'T THIS EXCITING?
>> WHAT A DWEEB.
>> YES.
>> "PATRICK,
PETER, PHILIP, PLANK!"
SEE, I TOLD YOU'D WE'D
BE IN THE SAME CLASS.
WORRYWART!
>> AH, THERE I AM.
HUH? WHAT?
[GASPS] >> HA HA HA!
>> GENTLEMEN,
GENTLEMEN, I BEAR BAD TIDINGS.
WE 3 HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED
SEPARATE HOMEROOMS.
>> WE 3?
>> COULDN'T BE.
>> OH, WHERE, OH, WHERE
HAVE MY LITTLE CHUMS GONE?
>> SO NOW WHAT, EINSTEIN?
>> OUCH.
WELL, I COULD REQUISITION A
CHANGE OF ELECTIVE FORM FROM THE
SCHOOL DISTRICT.
WITH THE PROPER NOTARIES AND
SIGNATURES FROM OUR PARENTS, WE
COULD HAVE A REASSIGNMEN
AS SOON AS 3 TO 4 WEEKS.
>> 4 WEEKS?!
>> WHAT'S YOUR HURRY, MAY?
[SIREN] >> KANKERS!
>> COME ON.
LET'S SEE IF THEY
SPLIT US UP THIS YEAR!
>> LIKE WE CARE.
YO, MARIE, WHEN'S THE
LAST TIME WE WENT TO CLASS?
>> HOW THE
HECK SHOULD I KNOW?
FIGURE IT OUT.
>> OH, GOODY-GOODY.
WE'RE IN THE SAME
HOMEROOM, GUYS!
UNH!
>> WHO CARES, I SAID.
>> SHE'S DUMBER
THAN A TRUCK TIRE, I SWEAR.
>> I LOVE TRUCK TIRES.
[CRASH] >> DID
YOU HEAR THAT, EDDY?
THE KANKERS ARE TOGETHER
IN THE SAME HOMEROOM.
>> SO?
>> IF WE JUST SIMPLY ASKED
THEM TO TRADE PLACES WITH US, YOU,
ED, AND I COULD BE IN
THE SAME CLASS TOGETHER.
>> ARE YOU NUTS?
WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?
>> IT'S NOT LIKE THEY WOULD
ATTEND, BUT IF THEY DID, YOU.
WOULD BE IN THE SAME
CLASS AS THEM, EDDY.
>> HAPPY
TOGETHER HAPPILY, GUYS.
>> UH, SO WHA
ARE WE WAITING FOR?
>> HMM.
>> HEH HEH HEH.
>> SHH!
[KANKERS LAUGHING] >>
HEY, THAT CHAIR IS MINE!
IT'S GOT MY GUM STUCK
TO THE BOTTOM OF IT.
>> THAT GUM'S MINE!
I WAS SAVING IT FOR LATER!
>> QUIT GOOFING AROUND
AND HELP ME DECORATE.
WE'VE GOT A FULL YEAR OF
HOOKY AHEAD OF US, GIRLS.
>> WHAT DID THEY
DO WITH THE JANITOR?
>> ANOTHER CLEANING MAN
FALLS PREY TO THEIR HUNGER THAT IS.
EVIL.
>> NOW, NOW, LET'S
NOT GET ALL DRAMATIC.
I'M SURE IF WE ADVANCE WITH
DIPLOMACY WE WILL BE REASONABLY
SAFE TO MAKE A FAIR PROPOSAL.
>> YOU FIRST!
>> YAAH!
>> IT'S OUR BOY TOY, GUYS!
>> CHECK HIM OUT.
HE MUST BE GOOD AT GYMNASTICS.
>> LET'S FIND OUT.
>> WAIT!
UM, TATER-TOTS?
>> HEY, GET OUT OF MY WAY!
[CRASH] [YELLING]
>> WHY, HELLO, LEE.
UM, MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN
PUT IN A PRECARIOUS POSITION.
IT SEEMS WE'VE BEEN PLACED
IN 3 SEPARATE HOMEROOMS.
[PIGS SQUEALING] NORMALLY,
I WOULD GO THROUGH
PROPER CHANNELS, BUT I FELT A
MORE PERSONAL APPROACH MIGH
BE >> SO YOU
WANT TO SWITCH PLACES.
WITH US ON THE LIST, RIGHT?
>> I COULDN'T HAVE
SAID IT BETTER MYSELF.
>> SO WHAT'S IN IT FOR US?
>> OH, I KNOW.
I WANT A PUBLIC DECLARATION
OF MY HONEY'S LOVE FOR ME.
>> GOOD ONE, MARIE!
I WANT EVERYONE IN SCHOOL TO
KNOW ABOUT ME AND BIG ED, TOO!
>> AND EDDY'S
GOT ME COVERED.
YOU GOT YOURSELF
A DEAL, DREAMBOAT.
HA HA HA!
>> KEEP LOOKING, BUDDY.
I'VE BEEN HANKERING FOR
A BAG OF NUTS ALL DAY!
>> UH, HEY, GUYS.
HAVE YOU SEEN MY NEW GIRLFRIEND?
>> DORKY'S
GOT A GIRLFRIEND.
[ALL LAUGHING] >>
YEAH, AIN'T SHE SOMETHING?
>> WHOA!
[TIRES SCREECHING]
>> HIYA, ED.
DOES YOUR MOM SHRINK YOUR
CLOTHES IN THE WASH, TOO?
>> NOPE.
UM, "I AM EX-HIBIT-ING MY LOVE
FOR POINT AT MAY BECAUSE SHE IS
SO CUTE AND HAS A PERFEC
FIGURE WITH GREAT TOOTH."
UM, "TEETH."
AM I A GOOD READER OR WHAT?
>> MY NAME IS EDD WITH TWO
Ds, AND I, UH, LOVE MARIE KANKER.
>> HA HA HA!
>> YES, I DO.
OH, THERE'S
NOTHING I LIKE BETTER
THAN PIGGYBACKING
MY GAL MARIE KANK ♪
[KIDS LAUGHING] >>
YOU CAN QUIT LAUGHING NOW,
PLANK.
IT'S OVER.
[MUTTERING] >> THERE.
HAPPY?
A DEAL'S A DEAL.
>> YEAH, A DEAL'S
A DEAL, RIGHT, GIRLS?
>> THANK YOU.
YOUR SIGNATURE ON THE DOTTED
LINE, YES, AND THE HOMEROOM
NUMBER THERE.
>> THEY'RE SO CUTE
WHEN THEY'RE SERIOUS.
>> BINGO!
>> TOGETHER ONCE AGAIN!
I'VE MISSED YOU GUYS.
>> SHALL WE SEE WHA
HOMEROOM WE'LL RESIDE IN THIS YEAR?
>> V-V-V-V-V-V-VROOM!
>> ROOM 212. HMM.
I'M NOT FAMILIAR
WITH THAT CLASS.
AAH!
>> FOUND IT!
>> OUR NEW HOMEROOM!
OH, THE JOY OF
STRUCTURED EDUCATION.
>> WHAT KIND OF
CLASSROOM IS THIS?
WHERE'S ALL THE DESKS?
EH, THIS IS BUNK!
>> WE'RE IN A
GIRLS' BATHROOM!
OH, THIS IS FORBIDDEN.
CLOSE YOUR EYES,
CLOSE YOUR EYES!
>> ED, YOU IDIOT!
>> BEEN AROUND
THE BLOCK NOW, EDDY.
[BOOM] >> CLASS
IS NOW IN SESSION.
STUDENTS, BE SEATED.
[PANTING] [MUTTERING]
>> AAH!
>> HEE HEE HEE!
>> TODAY'S LESSON
TOUCHY FEELY 101.
BUT FIRST, A LITTLE VISUAL AID.
ASSISTANTS MAY AND MARIE,
IF YOU COULD BE SO KIND.
>> WOULD I EVER?!
MM, MM, MM, MM, MM.
>> HEE HEE HEE!
>> WAIT, I-I HAVEN'
STUDIED FOR THIS LESSON.
RUN AWAY!
>> HOLY SMOLY!
NO MORE KISSES!
>> OK, THAT'S IT!
I'M TELLING THE TEACHER ON YOU!
>> I'M ALL EARS, MY
LITTLE TEACHER'S PET.
HA HA HA!
>> AAH!
[SCREAMING]
[WHISTLING]
>> ED, EDD, N EDDY!
>> BBBBB, YEAH!