Glee s05e03 Episode Script

Three weeks to the day since his funeral and it's the first time I've had the courage to even look at the suit I wore to it.
And now back to Lima for a special memorial Mr.
Schue's planning.
We're all going back.
Everyone who can.
Being together is hard.
It makes it more real.
But I also need my friends right now.
People keep asking me, "How are you feeling? What are you feeling?" I have no answers.
Honestly, what can you say about a 19-year-old who dies? Everyone wants to talk about how he died, too, but who cares? One moment in his whole life.
I care more about how he lived.
And anyone who has a problem with that should remember that he was my brother.
I only keep that out when I know she won't come in.
Rachel? I'm going now.
This isn't real.
I'm not going home for this.
He's going to be there.
I'm going to spend my entire life missing him.
You know, I've cleared my entire schedule to provide my services to students and faculty and not a single person's come in for grief counseling.
Now maybe that's because you're not a certified grief counselor.
Maybe that's because you're just the jittery mentally ill bird lady they turn to to find out what college they won't be attending because they missed the application deadline.
If students wish to mourn Finn's passing they're free to visit the memorial garden that I erected.
I planted a tree in the exact location where I caught Finn and Quinn Fabray fondling each other's breasts.
- Come on, Sue.
- How can you even joke at a time like this? Ah, take it easy, post-op Michael Chiklis.
I'm grieving.
And I grieve by insulting those who mean the most to me.
And it's just a coincidence that's also what I do when I'm not grieving.
It just feels so surreal.
- They don't make 'em like Finn.
- He was our quarterback.
We honor Finn Hudson by taking care of the people he loved.
And the way we do that is by helping 'em to move on.
How? By not making a self-serving spectacle of our own sadness.
And I think we can all agree that's what Finn would have wanted.
Really glad so many of you could make it back for this.
We wouldn't miss it for anything, Mr.
Schue.
The funeral was for everyone, but I wanted to do something just for us to memorialize him the only way we know how- by singing.
All week long.
Anyone who wants to can come up and sing.
Maybe a song he sung.
Maybe something that reminds you of him.
- Singing isn't gonna bring him back.
- No, it's not.
Nothing is.
Not ever.
But for two minutes or so we can all maybe remember the best parts of him.
So think of what you want to sing if you want to sing, and we'll start tomorrow.
Well, I-I can't wait until tomorrow, Mr.
Schue.
I've been bawling for three weeks.
If I don't get this all out now I don't think I'll ever stop crying.
Sure, Mercedes.
Start us off.
I, uh, remember Finn telling me that he sang this song to his baby's sonogram.
Well, he thought it was his baby.
He was the first cool kid to be nice to any of us, and he was our leader in here.
We love you, Finn.
Sweet, gentle Porcelain.
I know you were instrumental in raising the funds for the tree in the memorial garden in Finn's honor.
All I did was drive to Home Depot and buy a tree for $20, but yes.
It looks like we're gonna have to dip into your West Village Halloween parade ass-less chap fund once again.
Tree's gone.
Someone's vandalized the memorial.
I don't understand.
Why would someone do something like that? Who knows? Grief can bring out the irrational in all of us.
Sometimes it makes people do very strange things.
Sometimes when people die, we want to hold on to what's left of them to get us through the hard times.
I'll take that $20 for a new tree, please.
I prefer exact change.
Thanks.
I marked these boxes so it'd be easier to separate things.
- Thanks, honey.
- You don't have to do this now.
- It can wait.
- There's no timetable.
No.
We should do it now.
I'm afraid I'll never do it.
Oh, look.
It's the ball from the first game we ever scored at.
You should keep this, Dad.
It's the weirdest football game I ever been to.
Look, it's the faggy lamp from my Marlene Dietrich basement redecoration.
I think he kept it in here to prove a point to Burt.
You know, if it's, uh, okay with everyone I think I'd like to keep that lamp.
No, it's not okay with me.
That thing is awful.
I need a lamp in my office at the shop.
I tore into him about this lamp.
You know, I was right in principle, but you know, come on, the kid didn't have a prejudiced bone in his body.
And I knew what he meant when he was calling it "faggy.
" I wasn't teaching him a lesson in tolerance.
I was teaching myself one, and he was just unlucky enough to be there for it.
Finn knew how you felt about him, honey.
Kind of liked it when you yelled at him.
Should've hugged him more, you know? No, it was always- You know, we'd fist bump or we'd high five, but should've given him more hugs.
You know, the last time I saw him he was so bummed out about some test at school and I just, you know told him to get back at it, you know? He was worth it.
It was the perfect time for a hug.
But for whatever reason, I just- I gave him a pat on the back.
And that's that.
Now he's gone.
Oh, don't-don't donate that.
I want it.
Seeing him come down the hallway wearing this it was like Superman had arrived.
God, his arms were long.
I always thought that when I, uh- How do parents go on when they lose a child? You know, when I would see that stuff on the news I'd shrug it off 'cause it was just too horrible to think but I would always think, "How do they wake up every day?" I mean, how-h- How do they breathe, honey? But you do it though.
And for just a second, you forget.
And then, oh, you remember.
And it's like getting that call again and again every time.
You don't get to stop waking up.
You have to keep on being a parent even though you don't get to have a child anymore.
Shh.
What's with the, uh, Banksy loser parade? You're exhausting.
You seriously don't recognize this Dumpster? Come on.
- Oh, yeah.
- As soon as Finn joined the Glee Club being a loser, an outcast and a misfit, it-it all became okay.
Hey, give me that jacket.
Seriously, I'll pay you for it.
I'm sure you have a whole room full of mementos.
- I got nothing to remember him by.
- Well, you can't have this.
That jacket is reserved for people who earned it.
I'm not gonna let you bedazzle it with glitter - and turn it into some Project Runway shawl.
- So what are you gonna do? Beat me up and take it from me? Throw me in a Dumpster? You can't have it.
Hi, Santana.
Shouldn't you be with Tina in Glee Club? I don't mean to pry.
It's just I had Tina mourning in song with the Glee Club until 10:45 at the earliest.
No, I had to get out of there.
Felt like my head was gonna explode.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What the hell do you think you're doing? Principal Sylvester told us the candles have to go.
- She said she got a call from the fire marshal.
- You cannot let her do this.
Um, he's the janitor.
New Santana Lopez is right, old Santana Lopez.
Under the tyrannical jackboot of Sylvester regime, I am powerless.
And I'm too overcome with Finn Hudson-related grief to fight back.
Okay.
This is-This is insane.
Well, Donna, one of us farted, and I'm about 60% sure it wasn't me.
You have no right to take down that memorial.
Oh, as a matter of fact, I do, Sandbags.
I allowed that memorial to remain in the hallway for over a week.
Oh, please.
You wanted that memorial gone because you're such a coldhearted bitch.
What did you just call me? A miserable, self-centered bitch who has spent every waking minute of the past three years trying to make our lives miserable.
- I'm officially over it.
- I don't care for your attitude.
Well, I don't give a hot, wet monkey's ass what you care for.
You are not my principal.
See, I don't go here anymore, Sue.
And that means I can finally tell you exactly what I think of you.
I have hated you ever since the day I met you.
You are a horrible person who never had a nice word to say about Finn Hudson.
So don't you dare think for a second that he didn't hate you too.
If I were you, I would choose my next few words very carefully.
What are you gonna do? You gonna expel me? - Get the hell out of my office.
- How about you make me - get the hell out of your office.
- Donna, call the police.
Donna, you pick up that phone and I swear to God I will shove my foot so far- - That's assault! - No, this is assault! Tina, I'm really glad that you took the time to come talk to me today.
I know a lot of young people have trouble expressing feelings of sadness.
I just don't know how much longer I can do this.
- Do what? - I just don't know how much longer I can wear black.
I feel like this look is so Tina two years ago.
And I spent so much time transitioning away from goth, and look at me.
It's like I'm back in that look.
Okay, yeah.
I'm just gonna see what I have in my drawer here.
All right.
So why don't you have a look at these on your way out? Okay? Okay.
All right.
Hey, right on time for your 1:30.
Em, I'm happy some people are finally coming to you for help but I don't think I need grief counseling.
Have a seat.
Come on.
Will, I was with you when you found out that Finn died.
I stood right next to you at the funeral.
- And I couldn't help but notice something.
- What? You haven't cried.
What are you saying? That-That I don't feel anything? - No, that's not what I'm say- - Course I feel something, Emma.
I-I-I feel- I feel more than I know how to express.
I- I'm heartbroken.
To be honest, I don't even know how we're all supposed to move forward but I have to make sure that the people around me are taken care of.
Okay, I-Okay.
Now listen to me.
Listen.
Listen to me.
Listen.
I love you, okay? I know.
Whatever you feel and however you wanna show it, that's okay.
I just- I think there's gonna come a time when you need to let it all out.
And I want you to know that I plan on being here for you when you do.
- I have to get back to class.
- Okay.
You're drunk.
You're beautiful.
You puke in my locker room, you're cleaning it up.
Come on, what's the big deal? I get needing something to get through the first few days but it's been a month.
You don't have to be scared to have feelings.
That's crap.
Of course I do! Why? We're all having 'em! Not like mine.
No one understands.
Understands what? Tell me.
That if I start crying, I don't think I'll ever stop.
Finn would've kicked over one of my chairs.
Yeah.
That was his specialty.
Sit down.
Come here.
What chance do I have of not being an idiot and hurting people without him around to remind me who I really am? You've just gotta do that for yourself now.
And see yourself how he saw you.
It's not good enough for me.
It's not like when he was alive.
You gotta make it good enough, because it's all we got left.
And I'm telling you this straight 'cause that's how you and I talk.
He's dead and all we've got left is his voice in our head.
I'm sorry, but it's time you-you gotta be your own quarterback.
Do you think we could retire his number? Kurt has his letterman jacket.
Maybe- Maybe we could frame it or something.
Put it up in here.
Other kids should know who he was years from now.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I can get that done.
But you gotta promise to put the tree back.
I didn't take the tree.
- Fine, I took the tree.
- Mm-hmm.
It was a garbage tree though.
Wasn't big enough.
They grow, you know.
Okay, I know that Finn had his doubts about God but I am convinced that squishy teats is up in heaven right now plopped down next to his new best friend, fat Elvis helping themselves to a picnic of baby back ribs smothered in butterscotch pudding and tater tot grease.
So this is for you, Hudson.
No, no, no.
No! You okay? You sang beautifully.
- I couldn't do it.
- There was only one more chorus.
No, not the song.
I had this whole plan to surprise everyone and not be a bitch for once in my life and say all these nice things about Finn and then at the last minute, I chickened out.
I even wrote them all down.
Would you read it to me? No.
I can't.
It's too embarrassing.
They're, like, really nice.
If there's one thing I've learned from Finn dying it's that shame is a wasted emotion.
I'm sure Finn had secrets too, but who cares now? Do you really think one day on your deathbed, you're gonna think "Oh, good.
No one knew I was kind"? Okay.
"When we had sex, Finn never stopped asking me if I was okay the whole time.
And he meant it.
One time Becky Jackson left a piece of chocolate birthday cake on my chair and when I sat on it, it looked like I had pooped my pants and so Finn walked behind me until I could get out of school so no one saw my chocolate butt and thought that I had messed myself.
" Yeah, you would have never lived that one down.
No.
He was a much better person than I am.
That is true.
But Finn really cared about you.
And I don't think he would have done all those things if he didn't think you were decent too.
Can you leave, please? I love you guys.
Where is it, Puckerman? It's just a tree.
I told Beiste I'd put it back.
No, not the tree.
Finn's jacket.
I went for a lie-down in the nurse's office hung it up on the coat rack by her door and when I woke up from my grief siesta, it was gone.
I know you took it.
We all know you took it.
- I didn't take a jacket.
- If we were rounding up the usual suspects that would pretty much just be you.
- I didn't take Finn's jacket! - Enough! Please! No fighting this week.
- No me gusta.
- Santana.
Seriously, Puck, you can keep it tonight but I need it back tomorrow, all right? It's Santana's now.
I swear I didn't swipe the jacket, Mr.
Schue.
I understand wanting the jacket, Puck and I'm not saying that you took it.
- I didn't.
- But if you did all I'm gonna say is that all of us want some piece of Finn to keep close to us.
I owe you an apology.
Have a seat.
Okay, look.
All I can say is that I'm really- Shut up.
You were absolutely right.
Everything you said, you were right.
I was horrible to that kid and I'm utterly destroyed that he died thinking I didn't like him.
Well, maybe this, uh, could be a lesson.
- You know, maybe you could- - Cut the crap, will you? I don't care about that.
I don't care about people.
I care about him.
He was such a good guy.
Now I'll never get to tell him.
There's no lesson here.
There's no happy ending.
There's just nothing.
He's just gone.
He would've made an excellent teacher.
I thought I'd spend the next 30 years teaching alongside him.
I thought I had all the time in the world to rail against him and his dopey little Glee Club.
Oh, it's just so pointless.
All that potential.
Pfff.
This is sorta cheesy.
No, it's beautiful.
I just had to see it.
Nobody treat me with kid gloves, okay? I don't know what to say either.
I loved Finn, and he loved me, and he loved all of you guys.
I know he did.
I like to sing in the car, and, um- and before Finn, I used to sing alone.
And this was the first song that I sang with him when we would drive around together, so this is for him.
Whew, that's a pretty hefty reward.
It's not a reward.
It's bait.
I'm gonna kick the crap out of whoever brings that jacket back.
And I want it back before I go home.
- Home.
Here, home? - New York.
That's my home now.
I'm not coming back here for a while.
More than a while.
Maybe never.
You know, I used to love coming here.
But now this just reminds me of everything that I've lost.
I understand.
- You should go.
- Well, geez, Mr.
Schue.
- You don't have to rush me out of the door.
- I'm a teacher.
It's supposed to make me happy to see my kids grow up and leave the nest.
Does it? Well, I can say for a fact that it certainly beats the alternative.
Hey.
- What- - It's root beer.
Oh.
- Mm.
- Mm.
So what do you think? Fifty years from now when this tree is 30 feet tall and the kids come to make out under it, will they know who it was planted for? Probably not.
You know what's tripping me out? This line between the two years.
It's his whole life.
Everything that happened is in that line.
What are you gonna do with your line now, Puckerman? I'm gonna make a man of myself.
I figured if I don't have Finn, I need an army to help me.
- Are you serious? The army? - Air force, actually.
Thought maybe I could be a top gun.
I think they were actually naval aviators in that movie.
You know, if Finn was around, I'd just keep letting him point me in the right direction.
Now it's up to me to figure it all out.
Proud of you.
You know? Just don't get shot, okay? Thanks, Coach.
- Keep watering that tree.
- You got it.
Have a good line.
Hey, Mr.
Schue.
Hey, Rachel.
I get flashbacks when you walk in here and say that.
Good ones.
How are you doing? Everyone keeps asking me that.
Well, from what I hear, you've been a rock for everyone so I know that that means that sometimes you don't get to grieve yourself.
I'm okay.
I mean, I'm- I'm really not okay, but yeah, I'm-I'm okay.
But more importantly, how are you? I have no idea.
I talk to him a lot.
I can still see his face and-and can hear his voice so clearly.
Do you think that I'll ever forget it? Because I'm afraid that one day I will.
What do you talk to him about? Anything.
I mean, when we were dating, it was, you know pretty much me talking all the time and him just pretending to listen so it's not really that different.
I had it all planned out.
I was gonna make it big on Broadway, and maybe do a Woody Allen movie.
And then when we were ready, I would just come back, and he'd be teaching here, and I'd walk through those doors and I would just say, "I'm home.
" And then we would live happily ever after.
It's a good plan.
- Did you tell him? - I didn't have to.
He knew.
And now what? I don't know.
Something different.
Maybe something better.
I just-I don't think that that's possible.
He was my person.
But thank you so much for doing this.
I felt like I didn't know if I would be able to sing again, but now I know that I can.
And I know that there have been a lot of memorials for him but I had this made and I was hoping that we could hang it in here.
Did he really say that? He was smart.
Just, you know, in an- in an untraditional kind of way.
Come on, let's- let's hang it right over there.