iZombie (2015) s05e03 Episode Script

1 [Liv.]
Previously on iZombie Meet your girlfriend somewhere you're not rubbing Dale's nose in it.
[Clive.]
I understand why you broke up with me.
I love you for it.
[Dale.]
Clive.
How would you like to be a father? - [gunshots.]
- [grunting.]
- Where's Baron? - He's gone.
When I found Jordan, she was digging brain tubes out of bus station garbage cans.
- [gunshot.]
- Take cover! - Look out! - [gunshot.]
She died saving your sergeant.
[Major.]
if humans decide we only have zombie interests at heart, this city will collapse.
I was talking to my therapist about the last time you went to lunch with your mother.
And he thinks she has borderline personality disorder.
- Right? She's the worst.
- Mmm-hmm.
So, can you come with us to lunch tomorrow? I'll cancel my chiro appointment.
Oh.
My.
God.
You're totally saving me.
[salsa music playing.]
[sighs.]
I kinda wanna do that solo part more with you.
I know I should be the focus but I still think you need to be a part of it.
Pretty.
Your solo turn shimmy is what's gonna win it for us, you gorgeous talent machine.
Ugh.
This new protein powder is disgusting.
Taste it.
- Ugh.
- I have to go rinse my mouth.
You know, for that solo, if you want, I could be on my knees behind you leading your hips.
The most important thing is that you feel good.
[belches and coughs.]
[coughing and choking.]
[choking.]
[coughing.]
Pretty! [wheezing and coughing.]
G! Pretty! [both straining and grunting.]
[choking.]
[opening theme music playing.]
I've been saving this up for a while, so That girl was poisoned As was that guy, with cyanide.
It's very sad.
[Liv.]
Cyanide acts fast.
Would've killed them in under a minute.
They were healthy otherwise.
Quite fit actually.
Gulliver Marlowe and Nancy Duvall were dance partners.
They were about to compete for a spot on the show Dance of a Lifetime.
The prize? Two tickets out of Seattle.
Ooh, high stakes.
And according to the woman who runs the dance studio where they all practiced, Nancy and Gulliver were the team to beat.
With five remaining couples in the competition, there are at least ten people with strong motives for wanting these two dead.
So, which brain do I eat? Eenie meenie minie mo? I can blindfold you and spin you around.
Call it.
Uh, heads, Gulliver.
Tails, Nancy.
Luck be a lady.
[salsa music playing.]
[clapping.]
Dance, monkey, dance! [bell ringing.]
Next.
Got any "lice," Michael? Mr.
Mosely.
[door crashing open.]
[students muttering.]
Excuse me.
You can't just come in here You need to stop what you're doing right now.
I'm performing a routine lice check.
There's a city ordinance against ID'ing zombies, ma'am.
If there's nothing wrong with being a zombie, why hide it? Because of ignorant people like you.
- Ames.
- That's enough.
Why should our babies be forced to share a classroom with things that want to eat them? We don't put them in classes with grizzly bears.
Now that you mention it, lady, some of your offspring do look tasty.
Gibbs, wanna grab some lunch? [screams.]
Ames! You're animals! Hey, back off! [students panicking.]
[Ames.]
Gibbs, wanna grab some lunch? - [students panicking.]
- [Joyce.]
Ames! [Karen.]
You're animals! Back off! [students panicking.]
You, stop! Hey! Come back! Well? They drew their guns to break up a routine lice check? Like the lice checks we have every semester.
If they had SARS, we'd quarantine them.
That's what Dolly Durkins says.
- If who had what? - Karen, I've got this.
Ms.
Charles We can't create an environment conducive to learning when an occupying army points their automatic weapons at our students.
I will get to the bottom of this.
My son doesn't want to go to school anymore, Ms.
Charles.
I know these are trying times but Whatever you could do Forensics found cyanide in a tub of protein powder found in Nancy's kitchen.
So she was the target.
[salsa music playing.]
Happy surprise.
This floor is made for batucadas.
Actually, it was made for draining blood and embalming fluid, but that twisty, spinning bit was delightful.
So, I have an amazing idea that will solve all your problems, ready? Under cover dance partners, what! How much fun would that be while being important and helpful? I interviewed half the dance show contestants at the scene already.
- So? - So, my cover is blown.
I just thought it was something we could do together.
[laughing.]
We haven't interviewed anyone.
Wait, um, what's happening? So, the other contestants are your prime suspects, right? How helpful would it be to have two people on the inside, sizing them up, hearing the gossip, shaking out the details no one gives to cops.
You're famous now, Liv.
People will recognize you as Renegade.
I will wear a wig.
It will be fine.
I will be with Ravi.
What? About that.
I can't ballroom dance.
I mean, I can freestyle dance a bit, but not very well.
[Liv.]
You don't even have to dance.
You just have to pretend to be a dancer, which everyone will totally buy because of your dancer physique and natural grace.
Oh! I have been referred to as "lithe.
" Wait, are you on board with this? Yay, oh, my God! How excited are we right now? I'm gonna go pick up our dance gear.
We should probably coordinate rehearsal outfits.
We're gonna have so much fun while solving crime together! [door closes.]
- [phone beeps.]
- Oh.
"Can't decide what color we look best in.
" Confused face emoji.
"Can you come shopping with me?" Praying hands emoji.
Detective Babineaux has briefed me about everything.
So I will introduce you as "Jake Steele" and "Juliette Valentine.
" But FYI, we're gonna call each other "Fred" and "Ginger" as, like, nicknames.
I really think that's overcomplicating things.
No, the Fred and Ginger is just for us.
Just our cute, little inside thing.
- But it - Oh.
Eyelash.
Make a wish.
[blows.]
Did you wish for what I think you wished for? - Probably not.
- Wait, what did you wish for? [sighs.]
Again, just for clarity I most certainly will not be dancing, right? [whispers.]
So, where would you like to start? Well, with Nancy and Gulliver [makes gurgling sound.]
Who's most likely to win this thing? That's the pair that would benefit most.
Definitely Lars and Tina.
They're just finishing up now.
You can pretend you're using the studio after them.
Come on.
Seriously.
Do I really not know what you wished for? [dance music playing.]
[mouthing.]
I'm gonna guess the Paso Doble.
The long and lean's always think they're matadors.
There's no way you guys are doing the Viennese waltz.
Right you are.
I'd like to introduce you to our new contestants.
This is Jake and Juliette.
And let them spy on half our routine? Thanks, Miss Everly.
Ready to shoe up, Fred? I thought you said your name was Jake.
[Liv.]
It is.
Sorry.
"Fred" is like an inside joke.
Fred and Ginger.
It's, like, our little thing.
[laughs.]
Like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.
Because you're dancers.
Kinda.
It's a much longer story than that.
It's like this whole thing that we have.
I think that it's only fair that we see some of your routine as you saw half of ours.
You can't! Sorry.
Remember not to overdo it, Ginger.
I have a, uh, bit of an injury.
So, I'm guessing, because of the height difference, you do a lot of lifts.
We don't usually do lifts unless we're competing.
We try to wow them with floor work.
[phone beeps.]
Oh, Tina made her steps for the day! She's addicted to that tracker.
There's even a little map that shows you where you walked throughout the day.
Lars! [Lars and Tina talking in distance.]
Are you thinking what I am thinking? [strangled speech.]
Are you thinking about searing groin pain? Clive said the cyanide was found in the protein powder at Nancy's house, that means the killer went to Nancy's house.
We need to get Tina's phone and check her map.
Yeah.
I might be done for the day.
[Ravi groans.]
We'll leave you to it.
But we should hang out.
You wanna do drinks and tapas later? - Sure.
- The Lazy Squid.
Nine o'clock.
Great.
- [Ravi sighs.]
- We are so good at this.
I know.
How do we not have a secret high five? [Frank.]
We exchanged pleasantries but we weren't like, friends with them or anything.
- They were kind of - Up each other's asses.
- Yeah.
- Possibly two of the most co-dependent people I've ever met.
[Frank.]
Makes sense that they died together.
They did everything else together.
Water polo was literally the only thing that Gulliver did without her.
And I heard Nancy made him give it up because it was taking up too much emotional space.
[sighs.]
Co-dependent, you say.
It doesn't matter whose fault it is.
It matters that the backup generators don't work.
[security guard.]
Sorry, sir.
I asked her to wait.
My patience expired after my third unreturned phone call.
Stuart, I have to call you back.
We were supposed to help each other, Major.
I keep the frightened humans from freaking out.
You get your men to behave themselves.
- That was the deal, right? - It was.
It was, but you didn't need to come all the way down here to apologize for failing to keep your end of the bargain.
Excuse me? I assume we both agree that parents of seventh graders might be forgiven for losing it when soldiers point M16s at their kids.
- That's what you heard, huh? - Yeah, I heard it, I saw the movie.
It had some great dialogue in it.
Solider number one, "These kids look yummy.
" One of my soldiers said the kids look yummy? Delicious, tasty.
Yes.
Something like that.
- And you've seen this? - Yes.
One of the kids recorded it on their camera phone.
Here.
I'll send it to you now.
[phone beeps.]
Enjoy the show.
You know, I'm keeping my end of our bargain.
If you're too overwhelmed to return a phone call, maybe you're a little out of your depth.
Hey, Peyton! You know why that squad was there? The school was doing a lice check.
They do lice checks to identify zombie children.
Then, they lock them up away from the other kids like they're lepers.
They didn't need to pull their guns.
They leveled their weapons when one of those kids tried to grab one of my men's sidearms.
The video doesn't show that.
Maybe you can take my word on it.
[doula.]
The most important thing to remember is that the birth of a child is a sacred experience.
Really? You need to write down "sacred"? [whispers.]
She just said it was important.
Questions? - Yes.
- No.
In case of a breech birth I'm gonna stop you there.
As a birth partner, your main job is to surround mom with light and love.
Light and love.
Got it.
[doula.]
Okay, let's start with some breathing exercises.
- In through the nose - [Inhaling.]
Out through the mouth.
[exhaling.]
- [doula.]
Breathe in the love - [door opens.]
And breathing out peace.
[exhaling.]
Sorry I'm late.
[doula.]
Breathing in love and breathing out peace.
[exhaling.]
Clive, honey? Breathe out peace.
Okay, let's finish with a slow massage down the spine.
- Spend some time on the shoulders - Babe? Are you sanding me? - I'm sorry.
- Okay.
Thank you, everybody.
Great work.
We should probably say hello.
I guess.
It's only polite.
It would be helpful if you found a birthing partner before next class.
I help out the single moms when I can but it makes teaching harder.
- Got it.
Thanks.
- Okay.
I'd say "small world" but it's a walled-in city.
- So - [laughs nervously.]
I was, uh Well, uh.
Yeah, so Small world indeed.
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
You too.
Just three more months to go.
You? About the same.
Cool.
[Coughs.]
cool.
That's cool.
- Really cool.
- Yeah.
I'm kinda late for something.
So I should Of course.
Yes.
Good to see you.
Bye.
Okay.
So, I take it from the banquet of nervous facial expressions that I was just treated to, that you did in fact sleep with Michelle before we got back together.
Yeah.
- So there's a chance.
- I guess.
I mean, I haven't seen or spoken to her since she transferred over to Vice.
It was one time.
It happened once.
And then, the next day, Cavanaugh told me the reason you broke up with me, and I ended things.
So, you slept with her, then broke up with her the next day, and asked me to marry you? Yeah.
It sounds a lot faster when you say it like that.
You mean, when I say it in the order in which it happened? Babe, I'm really trying to do light, love and calm right now.
You need to talk to her.
And get some answers.
[Liv.]
I started out in musical theater, did a bit of company work, and then just commercial stuff.
[Tina.]
What about you, Jake? Any formal training? - Hmm? - Any formal training? Oh.
Yeah.
I, um studied ballet as a child.
It's strange how it happened actually.
Small town boy.
A coal-mining family.
My dad was this tough-as-nails widower who wanted me to take boxing classes, but I stumbled into a ballet class at the gym and I was hooked.
- Wow.
Great story.
- Mmm-hmm.
Right? He's just basically Billy Elliot.
So, uh, why do you want out of Seattle? I have an offer to tour with Cardi B.
- You're a singer, too? - As one of her dancers.
What about you, Lars? I'm trying to get back to Madison - to see my mom before she dies.
- What about you two? - Oh, uh - [Ravi.]
I mean Well, honestly, I just want to dance on TV.
[dance music playing.]
- They have dancing here? - Yeah, it's a hidden gem.
We came here on our first date.
It's a special place for us.
What? How is that There were tables there.
How can there be dancing? It's called "The Lazy Squid.
" I love this song.
You have to come dance with me.
Oh, I Remember how I pulled something during rehearsal? Yeah, well, just keep me company.
[laughs.]
You want me to keep you company on the dance floor? Yeah.
[music continues playing.]
You promised I wouldn't have to dance.
I will dance for both of us.
You just bring the smolder.
Look at him.
I know.
He refuses to give anything away.
Liv, Tina left her phone on the table.
Let's go! The song isn't over yet.
Can you focus, please? I am focused.
I just don't understand why you can't spend five minutes with me without also trying to solve a murder! Liv! You know how we finish - each other's sentences? - Yes! - And sometimes can even read each other's - Texts! Minds! So what am I thinking right now? You want to Get the phone, solve the case, and eventually become dance partners.
Close enough.
[Tina.]
I was just thinking The show is gonna move us all into a hotel soon.
We should be roomies.
That sounds amazing.
Guess that means you're stuck with me, bud.
Spy much? [Nancy.]
Better him than Trip.
That psycho freak of nature.
If Tina finds out, she will club me to death behind the dance studio.
Hey, are you okay? I think the drink just went to my head.
I need to use the ladies' room.
Can you come with? I had a vision.
I think maybe I should switch brains.
Please, God, yes! Gulliver and Lars were having an affair.
Gulliver said if Tina found out, she would beat him to death.
Oh, I believe she would.
But the cyanide was found in the protein powder at Nancy's house.
If I'm on Gulliver's brain, maybe I'll see Tina confront Lars and Gulliver.
Still, why would the killer It's a hunch, Ravi! I thought if anyone would believe in me, it would be you.
New brain it is.
So, if Tina's our likely killer, once you're roommates, you'll have easy access to her phone, and the best part no dancing! I thought the best part was us spending time together.
Perfect timing, I got another round.
I just texted Miss Everly.
She said it's cool if we share a room.
We're good to go, too.
Amazing.
When do we start rooming together? Right after dress rehearsal.
[Ravi chokes and coughs.]
Oh, hey.
Hi, I was just dropping off the case files from the Leski investigation.
The Leski investigation that closed over a year ago? - Mmm-hmm.
- We've been looking for those.
Is the baby mine? You know, it's every girl's dream to have a terrified guy ask her that.
- I'm sorry.
- The truth is I don't know.
After you ended things, I may have been a little reactive, made a couple of bad choices, my ex-boyfriend Shane being one of them.
He's out of the picture like Cleveland out-of-the-picture, and I'm not sure which one of you is the father.
Not sure it even matters.
It matters to me.
How would you feel about getting a DNA test? No.
Sorry.
Those add unnecessary risks to the pregnancy.
Yeah, of course.
Look I know having this hanging out there isn't great.
You'll know when I know.
I promise.
[salsa music playing on computer.]
No.
No, no, no.
I cannot think of what to make.
I kind of want sweet.
There's no way I can learn Gulliver and Nancy's routine.
I probably already know it, right? Do you remember if I like lemon meringue pie? I have needs, too, you know.
I-I can't just give, and give, and give! [music continues on computer.]
A blintz? Oh, my God.
I love you, that is exactly what I want! [salsa music continues playing.]
Go, cat, go! - Tell me you solved the case.
- Not yet.
I'm looking into this freak of nature ex from Liv's vision.
In the meantime, Tina's phone would be helpful.
There is no way I can do this.
I don't have the time, I don't have the skill.
You don't need skills or time.
You're Ravi Chakrabarti and you're amazing.
I brought you your dancing shoes, more comfortable pants I can't kick in these Which is why I also brought these.
A bit of protein plus some caffeine.
Here's a reason not to freak out.
In salsa dancing, the woman is the picture, and the guy is the frame.
You just have to be the frame.
The frame.
And front and together.
Back and together.
Front and together.
Back and together.
I'm a really bad frame.
You know, it might be easier if he counts.
It's one, two, three, five, six, seven.
In salsa, you hold the four and eight.
- What do you mean, "hold them"? - It's more like you drop them.
I don't know what either of those mean.
Ravi, just watch for a minute.
[salsa music playing.]
This might be weird but I think Clive just got me pregnant.
Let's not joke about that right now.
Okay.
And One, two, three.
Five, six, seven.
One, two, three.
Five, six, seven.
Forward and close.
Back and close.
Forward and close.
The music goes in through your ears and out through your hips.
Is this really the best use of my time? [upbeat music playing.]
[all celebrating.]
Yes! - Yes! - [laughing.]
[music stops.]
Hey.
[panting.]
Just wondering if you had any new information on my John Doe.
Yeah.
He was murdered.
Broken blood vessels in the eyes, crushed windpipe would suggest strangulation by someone very strong.
With large hands.
Cool.
Thanks.
[panting.]
[footsteps fading.]
- I did the lift! - You did the lift! [all celebrating.]
Where are you off to? Mike Lice-an.
Special Zed.
[boys laughing.]
I see dead people.
[laughs.]
[Derek laughing.]
Ma'am, any assignments were made for purely academic reasons.
Well, I've spoken to the parents of the kids who you re-assigned.
Solid C students who are suddenly in the gifted and talented program.
No, your lice checks are really a method by which you screen for and then segregate zombie students.
That's illegal in Seattle.
Which you know.
So, if you're interested in keeping your job, you'll put those students back in their original classrooms by the end of the hour [students screaming.]
[students panicking.]
Leave me alone or I'll kill you, you hear me? Humans are the real monsters! All of you! You understand this office is still limited to the contact the law? Yeah, well, I'd like to ride a lollipop horse down gumdrop mountain, but I keep those expectations to myself.
The difference between us is that I'm actually representing the rights of every citizen in this city.
I don't know why you guys aren't happier.
It's super fun in here.
You're Major Lillywhite.
- I am.
- I wanna join Fillmore Graves.
Oh.
You're a little young.
Maybe wait a couple of years.
- I don't want to wait.
- Why's that? I wanna start killing humans now.
You do that.
Looking forward to it.
- Major.
- Yeah.
[Peyton.]
Thanks for coming over.
I was planning on dropping by anyway.
I didn't like how we left things.
Yeah, me either.
I've got so much crap raining down on me.
I may have let myself think that I was the only one in Seattle who had a tough job.
I'm sorry about that.
I'm sorry, too.
And you were right about my constituency.
They are bald-faced liars.
Their lice check was a zombie check.
I went down to the school to tear the principal a new one.
Hell, yeah.
I witnessed a fight, and this young man here got into it pretty bad with a human student.
Raged out.
That's why I wanted you to come over here.
- I'm not sure what I can - [Peyton.]
They're orphaned.
Peyton, I can't Their sister was the Fillmore Graves soldier who was killed.
They said you knew her but I didn't know if that was [sighs.]
Hi.
That means you're Michael.
And you're Jalen.
I knew Jordan very well.
She was special to me.
She talked about you guys all the time.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Yeah.
So are we.
There's a youth shelter that takes zombies.
No, that's no good.
Agreed.
They need someplace safe, preferably a loving and nurturing environment.
Any ideas? Everyone loved Gulliver.
There's not a ton of water polo players left in Seattle.
Losing him was a blow on a lot of levels.
Was there anyone on the team named "Trip"? It could've been a nickname maybe? "Trip"? No.
Was there anything strange about any other players? Something that might make people think of them as a freak of nature? I heard one of the guys can milk himself.
I'm not sure which one.
I have a team photo with the roster.
[Clive.]
What about this Sasquatch guy? - Hmm.
Maybe.
- Trip.
Number three.
This guy.
- Was he a freak in some way? - Harris? He can hold his breath forever.
You mind emailing me that photo? Yeah.
- How you feeling? - Did you ask her again? [sighs.]
- I'm sorry, I can't do it.
- Fine.
- I'll do it.
- Dale, we're asking her to get the test because we're hoping the baby isn't mine.
I think that just doesn't feel right.
We're surrounded by people who are so excited that we're having a baby.
She's got no one.
I'm doing my best here, Clive.
I know.
[salsa music playing.]
You are the prettiest one here.
Oh.
My.
God.
[applause.]
I know.
They're the worst of the bunch.
I don't even know how they got in.
I need to go to the ladies' room.
Can you not leave me.
Please? Hey, I know you're freaking out but remember, we don't have to win.
We just have to look competent.
Do you think I'm worried about not winning? Ravi, this is your moment.
It's gonna be just like in the movies except better.
Because you're not dancing to win child support money, or because your friend is throwing an outlaw prom.
And you're not dancing to say, "Hey, Dad! I'm a woman now.
" I'm sick of this repressive 1960s paternalism!" You are dancing for justice.
[Miss Everly.]
Next, we have Jake and Juliette.
Hey, look at me.
Nobody puts Ravi in a corner.
[determined sigh.]
[dance music playing.]
Let the music take control.
Let the rhythm move you.
Are you really quoting C+C Music Factory right now? Don't leave me.
She doesn't care about your happiness.
She only cares about her own.
She'll ruin your life! [Miss Everly.]
Thank you, Jake and Juliette.
I saw a guy.
Had to be a boyfriend.
He was saying that Nancy would ruin Gulliver's life.
He was desperate.
Here's Gulliver's water polo team.
I thought it could be this freak of nature tall guy or Look how hairy that guy is.
[Liv.]
That's the guy! - What? That one? - Yeah.
How is he a freak of nature? [Ravi.]
Third nipple.
Triple nipple.
"Trip.
" You see how amazing you are? I thought it was a mole.
[Clive.]
Renaldo Sulvain? We were hoping to talk to you about Gulliver Marlowe and Nancy Duvall.
Of course.
Please, come in.
Can I get you anything to drink? We're okay.
Thank you.
Can you tell us about your relationship with Gulliver? He was amazing.
Right up until that possessive bitch broke us up.
- Nancy, you mean? - She didn't care about him.
I thought he'd eventually see the way she was taking advantage of him, and he'd come back to me.
But he never did.
I never meant to hurt Gulliver.
I just wanted Nancy out of the way.
[coughs.]
She was awful.
[coughs.]
[choking.]
Oh, my God! [choking.]
I'm calling it in! Renaldo! Renaldo! We need an ambulance right away - at 2242 Wilcher Place.
- What did you take? [Clive.]
Adult male.
No, Wilcher.
W-I-L-C-H-E-R! [Liv.]
Clive Cyanide.
There was nothing you could have done.
I was on my way home from an event when I got the call.
And you didn't change before you left the dance studio because I stayed to watch the other dancers.
As one does.
Oh, man, I'm so late.
I gotta go.
- You good? - Yeah.
Did we win? [doula.]
Today, I'd like to talk about how to support your partner when things get a bit scary.
[door opens.]
On your own again, huh? Yep.
You should really settle on a birthing partner.
You think I have a menu of options, I just haven't selected one yet? [sighs.]
Michelle.
Let's You and me.
The birthing partner I found on Snapchat got stuck at work late, so [doula.]
Great.
Okay, moms Birthing partners are behind you supporting you as you lean on the ball Dad or mom? Your call.
You should be dad.
You're being a very good source of light and love right now.
[doula.]
Okay, let's do some deep belly breathing.
[mouthing.]
[mouthing.]
[Stan.]
I'll never forget Baron's first words to me.
"Go back to college, white boy.
" "This work is for real men.
" [all laughing.]
[Stan.]
Once you got to know him, you realized [knocking at door.]
This guy's a marshmallow.
Like this one time, he insisted on taking us shopping for a first date.
We went downtown and all he picked up was a black beanie.
- Hey.
- Sorry for the surprise visit.
Something came up.
I see that.
Hey, Liv.
Michael, Jalen Why don't you guys go and take a seat by the other kids? [Liv.]
Who are they? Orphan zombies.
Their sister was in my squad.
And she can't care for them? She was killed by a sniper.
Oh, well.
We have plenty of room upstairs.
This place has sort of become an accidental orphanage.
No, no, Liv.
We weren't trying to put this on you.
We were just looking for advice.
My advice is leave them with me.
So who died? This guy, Baron.
He was the coyote that brought us here.
He died saving our lives.
We saw him take five bullets to the chest.
That shouldn't kill him.
It kills most humans.
He was a human? Yeah.
All coyotes are human.