Magnum, P.I. (1980) s05e03 Episode Script
Mac's Back
Magnum, I know you fell in love with Diane but how about bracing up and getting on with your life? No! Mac! He's alive.
Mac's alive! If Magnum thinks he saw Mac, he suffered an hallucination.
Now, I don't blame you for being upset, but I can explain.
I want answers! What did I do that was so wrong? You're a conman and a thief! I'm not a thief.
You're not a Mac! I love you.
No! Oh, Thomas! Traitor! Hey what do you say we drive up to Pali Lookout and watch the sunrise? You know? It'd be beautiful! Hey! Hey! Magnum? I don't mind if you want to drink yourself to death.
But I draw the line at littering.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I can go to pot, but not the estate.
Don't you think you're overdoing this? Nope! I littered, I have to pick it up.
That's not what I'm talking about.
Look, I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific.
My mind is a bit foggy at the moment.
Must be due to lack of sleep.
If you're going to drink yourself into a stupor wouldn't whiskey be more effective? Too hard to keep an even buzz on with whiskey.
In the five years I've known you you've debauched yourself many times but never anything like this.
How long are you going to keep this up? Look, Higgins, I know this is stupid.
I know this isn't going to solve anything.
I know Diane's committing suicide wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could have done.
Well, why this orgy of punishment? How about bracing up and getting on with your life? I know you fell in love with Diane, but It's not just Diane! It's Michelle and Mac Rick's little sister, Dan Cook the little Vietnamese kid whose name I can't remember.
My dad.
All people I loved or who counted on me they're gone.
Death is part of life.
I I know that sounds trite, but the very nature of life means that the older we get the more losses we're going to experience.
And, if we go to war or choose a profession such as yours those losses are going to be higher.
Look, Higgins I know you're trying to help, and I appreciate it.
I really do.
I know this isn't going to solve anything I know I'm being morose.
And stupid.
But I just don't give a damn.
It wasn't true.
I did give a damn otherwise I wouldn't be so disgusted with myself.
But Diane's suicide had started something I couldn't stop.
Mac! You wanna live long, buddy? Mac! What's the problem, bro? Magnum? He's alive.
Mac's alive! Would you please stop that infernal pacing? One would think you were some poor animal caged in a zoo.
I can't help it.
I get nervous in hospitals.
In case you haven't noticed, this is not a hospital.
Leave him alone, Higgie.
And would you decide whether you're going to wear that cap or throttle it to death? The two of you are as nervous as a pair of Devonshire school girls.
And you're not? No.
Then why have you been sipping tea from an empty cup for the last half-hour? I gave him enough Seconal to put a horse to sleep but I wouldn't bet on him staying under till morning.
Is he going to be all right? I don't know.
What do you mean, you don't know? Just what I said.
Diane's suicide hit Magnum hard, very hard.
A certain amount of guilt and depression is to be expected.
But his actions today go far beyond that.
Yeah, well, he's tough.
He'll bounce back.
He always has.
T.
C.
, everybody has a limit, even Magnum.
Black, right? Yeah.
I got used to that when I was an intern.
Couldn't afford the cream and sugar.
We'll have to wait until morning to see how he is.
Who is this Mac he's hallucinating? Oh, Lieutenant MacReynolds.
He was killed a couple of years ago when this guy named Ivan blew up Magnum's Ferrari.
Mr.
Masters' Ferrari.
What difference does it make, Higgins? None.
I'd say Magnum's not the only one who's wired around here.
Well all right.
He should be out the whole night but I would not leave him alone.
No, of course not.
Yeah, we'll stay.
I'll be back around 10:00 and I'll decide then whether or not to hospitalize him.
You don't have to do that, Doc we can take care of him right here.
I'm talking about a mental hospital, gentlemen.
Good night.
Hey what do you say we drive up to Pali Lookout and watch the sunrise? You know? It'd be beautiful! Hi, guys! What are you doing here? Hey, I'm starved.
How about some breakfast? I'm fixing.
I got some eggs, I think, and some bacon.
Maybe some sausage, let me see.
Yeah, I got sausage, I even got some lox and some cream cheese.
Bagels are hard, though.
Are you all right? Oh, I'm fine.
Well, what happened yesterday? Well, I guess, I went off the deep end thinking I saw Mac.
You could say that.
Yeah, but I'm fine now.
How do you want your eggs? Thanks, guys.
Well, how's it look? Rick always was a whiz with the old shears.
Well, it's somewhat of an improvement over your previous tonsorial treatment.
I think he missed his calling.
I'm sure it'll lay down eventually.
Magnum.
Yeah? Do you think it wise for you to drive so soon after your Illness? Yes.
I've been pretty far around the bend.
I know that.
Whether it was hallucinating about Mac, or Doc's shot letting me sleep, I don't know.
Whatever it was I woke up this morning, and everything was in perspective.
I'm fine.
Really.
And I appreciate your concern.
I'll see you later.
Come, lads.
We still have time to catch the last ten minutes of Lassie.
Sometimes the hardest thing to face is reality.
My friends really cared about me but if I'd insisted Mac was alive they'd have thrown me into a padded room.
I knew Mac was back.
It wasn't my imagination, or a hallucination.
He was here.
And I was going to find him.
After three days of surveillance I was familiar with the rhythm of the street.
At 9:00 in the morning those about to be sacrificed to the Hawaiian gods of sun, sea and sand were making their ritualistic trek to the beach.
I knew from experience that very few would return with their skin.
At noon the late-risers and serious souvenir-hunters were prowling about snatching up bargain buys on plastic hula skirts and cheap coral beads.
At 3:15, I got my afternoon treat.
I called her Olga, for obvious reasons.
The cops are pretty good about keeping hookers off the street during the day but I guess when you're as big as Olga you can work any time you want.
By sunset, the last of the lobsters were returning from the beach.
Which meant my day was nearly over and all I had to show for it was a sore butt and a case of heartburn.
It's him.
I'm not hallucinating.
Mac never could pass up ice cream! Suddenly, I was afraid.
Mac was dead.
I'd seen him die.
I consoled his parents, helped bury him.
Yet, there he was, just 10 feet away from me.
I was afraid if I got too close if I touched or spoke to him he'd disappear.
Mac? Are you looking for me? Mac.
I don't know how or why If you're a ghost or what, but, God! Feels good to see you! I think you're confusing me with someone else, son.
My name's not Mac.
I'm Lieutenant Commander Hiller.
But most of the men call me Father Jim.
Mac's a priest? Not Mac, Father Jim! But I'll tell you guys, he is the spitting image of Mac except for the mustache.
I've never seen anything like it.
I have.
In India, back in '49.
I was assigned to Lord Mountbatten as his temporary batman while his Sergeant Major recovered from a mishap with a sacred cow.
We never really quite understood how he managed to so infuriate that animal.
They're really quite docile, you know.
I recall once, outside Calcutta Higgins, what's your point? One day, Lord Mountbatten wanted some fresh figs.
The man loved figs.
So, I went to the local market and that's where it happened.
What? The same sort of thing that's happened to Magnum.
I came face to face with a holy man who looked exactly like You.
Poor guy! Like my mother.
It was bloody frightening.
T.
C.
, what time is it? It's exactly five minutes later than it was the last time you asked.
He's supposed to be here at noon.
Well, he's only Perhaps he got caught in traffic.
So what did he say when you told him about Mac? Well, I think he thought I was crazy.
But then I showed him you know, the picture I have in my wallet of Mac, Julie and I at Luau Louie's the night he was killed.
Look, why don't you guys go ahead and order and I'll wait for Father Jim? You're sure you don't mind? Oh, don't be silly.
Look, Father Jim will be here any minute and then I'll order.
Go ahead, guys.
Magnum the day you told us you had hallucinated seeing Mac you didn't believe that, did you? No.
I knew I saw him.
But if I'd kept trying to convince you guys and Doc Ibold I would have ended up in a padded room.
So you spent the day surveying the street with a telescope.
Camera.
You wouldn't give me Robin's telescope, remember? Yes.
Did you take a picture of him? Mac? I mean, Father Jim? No.
Why not? Because! I was only using the camera because it had a 300mm zoom.
You don't believe me, do you? I believe you saw someone, or thought you saw someone Met! Met him.
Talked to him, had a drink with him.
I showed him Mac's picture.
He told me his name! Said he'd meet me here for lunch! T.
C.
, you remember.
When I told you that Michelle was here you didn't believe me! Yeah.
And I was wrong.
That's why I believe you now.
Me, too.
I'd like to believe you met someone who looks like Mac.
But you don't.
Under the circumstances, I think it highly unlikely.
I think the possibility that you're hallucinating is one we should not ignore.
I am not hallucinating, Higgins! And I can prove it.
Hey, where are you going? To Pearl! I'm gonna find Father Jim.
I'll bring him back here so you can all see for yourselves! Now look what you've done.
Father Jim, if he exists, is one hour and 33 minutes late.
He hasn't called, so unless the poor man has had an incredible emergency or some sort of an accident it is highly probable that he is a figment of Magnum's distraught imagination.
And sitting here saying, "We're with you, old buddy" isn't doing him a bloody bit of good! I'm looking for Lieutenant Commander Hiller.
His yeoman said I might find him here.
Yeah.
I just saw Father Jim.
He was doing laps.
Must have headed for the showers.
They're through the doors.
Through the doors? Yeah, I know.
Thanks.
Ensign Jessup, telephone, line 3.
Ensign Jessup, telephone, line 3.
Seaman Clayton report to the OOD, Barracks 4.
Seaman Clayton, report to the OOD, Barracks 4.
I'm glad you didn't shoot that way five years ago, Magnum.
Well, I'm a little rusty.
You don't remember me, do you? Well, your face is familiar, but Nah, no reason why you should, I spend most of my time on the bench.
No, we played in a benefit game for the Navy Relief Fund.
You know, against Schofield Barracks.
Oh, sure! You played guard.
You're a navy chap Chaplain.
Yeah, that's me.
Father Jim Hiller.
Where is he now? Down by the tidal pool.
That's great! Thomas always swims when he has things to figure out.
Well, he isn't swimming.
He's just sitting on the sand, staring out at the ocean.
Yeah, well, that's a good way to solve a problem, too.
Cabin Island! I loved this as a kid! I remember one night, they were lying in the cabin they heard a moan, they thought it was a ghost.
And Chet, he got so scared Dr.
Ibold, with all due respect I don't think that now is the time for childhood literary recollections.
Until Dr.
Trapp gets here, there's nothing more I can do.
This Dr.
Trapp, what did he say? Well, there really wasn't very much he could say, until he examines Magnum.
But he doubted that he was suffering from a hallucination, you know For Whom the Bell Tolls.
For Whom the Bell Tolls! A great, sexy book in its time.
You remember, they were lying in that sleeping bag the night before they blew the bridge Wait a minute! Wait a minute.
You saying that Magnum is not hallucinating? Dr.
Trapp thought it was unlikely.
Hallucinations are very rare and he thought that Magnum probably was suffering from a delusion.
What's the difference? If Magnum thinks he saw Mac and no one was there he suffered an hallucination.
If someone was there and Magnum thought that person was Mac he's had a delusion.
I couldn't have put it better myself.
Thank you, Doctor.
But Rick is right.
I mean, what difference does it make what you call it? Either way, Magnum is in big trouble.
Unless Harvey.
Harvey! One of the great wonderful plays Unless what? Unless Magnum's telling the truth.
Hold on.
Hold on! Wasn't Magnum always conning Mac? Not just Mac.
Yeah.
And wouldn't we just love to get even? I would ask nothing more of life.
Maybe Mac didn't, either.
Do you realize what you're saying? I didn't say it.
Wait, wait.
You mean that Mac's running a con on Thomas? That means that Mac is back, and Mac's dead! Then it has to be Mac's Ghost.
You said it! I think I got it figured out, Higgins.
Good.
I'd like to hear it.
Oh! How'd you get here? I came up the beach about five miles.
Wanted to see you alone.
Dogs don't count.
Dogs always love me.
I'm like Daniel and the lions.
You know, you could put me in the middle of a junkyard full of Dobies and all they'd do is lick my face.
Who the hell are you? Well, I guess, you figured out I'm not Father Jim.
Well, what would you say if I told you I was Mac? Then you'd be a ghost.
Yeah.
I don't think ghosts get dropped with a right.
I'm not sure if that's ever been proven but I'm not gonna argue with you.
Lieutenant Neville Thompson, NIA? Couldn't tell you the other night.
I was operating undercover.
As Father Jim? Yeah, collecting money for the Navy Relief Fund.
Got nearly $800, too.
What were you really doing? Trying to build my credibility as Father Jim, the friendly Navy chaplain.
Thought you were trying to blow my cover till I checked your story out.
It's a hell of a coincidence me looking like your buddy and you being an ex-NIA officer, huh? Yeah.
Sorry Neville.
Yeah, well I understand.
I just can't get over how much you look like my friend Mac.
He was a real buddy, huh? The best.
Look you wanna call me Mac, it's okay.
I couldn't do that.
I use so many different names on this job already one more is not gonna make any difference.
Really, it's okay.
Thanks Mac.
Now the reason I came to see you is, I need your help.
He's just sitting there talking to the lads.
That doesn't sound good.
What's wrong with talking to the lads? Nothing, as long as you don't think they talk back.
The lads are excellent listeners.
Excellent.
They may be Marine pilots but most of them are just kids in their early 20s and those slicks in Little Saigon are taking them in a crooked poker game.
So, I'm supposed to raid it pretending to be Shore Patrol? Right, right.
And I'll be on the inside.
As Father Jim.
No, no, no, as Lieutenant Briggs.
A pilot in the squadron who's loaded.
Lieutenant Briggs? Right! Right! Do you think the Vietnamese running this game would believe in a priest playing high-stakes poker? I suppose not.
You can bet not.
So the Marines told them I was Lieutenant Briggs.
So the Marines think you're Father Jim.
Right.
They wouldn't have even told me about the poker game if they'd thought I was an NIA officer.
Gambling's a court-martial offense.
Yeah, but I still don't get it Mac.
I mean, why not use the real Shore Patrol? Look, I don't know how you felt about it when you were with the NIA, but I figure it's my job to help our boys, not to punish them and I mean, if we're talking about drugs or stolen government property or something, that's different.
But Getting ripped off in a crooked poker game The way I see it, if I can get those kids their money back and not make it official, who does it hurt? I guess nobody.
Except the yahoos running the game.
Right! Now, there's a head next to that poker room.
Between 2200 and 2215, I'll excuse myself to use it.
At 2230, you crawl through that window dd Open with $10.
I'll call.
I'll see your $10, and raise you $20.
I'll see your $20, and raise you $20.
I'll see that and raise $30.
Nah.
Too much for me.
I'm game.
Call.
Well, let's make it interesting, then.
I'll see your $30 and raise $50.
I'll see that, and $100 more.
I'm in! Call.
I'll see your $100, bump you $100.
It's your money.
When Mac said a big-stakes poker game, he wasn't kidding.
There were thousands on that table.
Marine pilots don't usually have that kind of money and that should have been a warning to me but Mac was in there counting on me and, besides it was 2230.
How many cards? Two for me.
I'll take one.
Freeze! Hey! What the heck! Please.
Great work, Lieutenant! You're under arrest for operating a gambling establishment catering to Armed Forces personnel.
Sorry I had to deceive you men.
I'm Commander Brodrick of the Shore Patrol.
I'm afraid you'll all have to stand court-martial.
Lieutenant, where are your men? Out front, sir.
Good.
I'll go down and get them.
Wait! There comes a time in everyone's life when they know they've been had.
This was mine.
The only chance I had of getting to the street in one piece was to play out the hand.
No pun intended.
Okay, back up.
When Commander When the Commander gets back with his men I want you Marines to have your ID ready.
We're gonna have to book you boys at Pearl.
You people will be turned over to Five-O.
And the ladies Freeze! Shore Patrol! You know, you people didn't have to break in.
I already had them in custody.
I'm going to go downstairs and check on the Commander.
Well done.
Just a minute, sir.
What? Who are you? Who am I? Who am I? His name's Magnum.
And the question's not who he is but what's he doing posing as a Naval officer in an illegal gambling house? They claim there was no one else in that game.
Well, of course they do.
Those Marine pilots think he's Father Jim a Navy chaplain trying to help them.
They're not gonna get him in trouble.
And the Vietnamese? He took all the money from the table.
If he doesn't exist, then the money doesn't exist and you can't charge him with operating a gambling casino.
I checked out your Lieutenant Neville Thompson.
There's no record of anybody by that name in NIA or, for that matter, in the US Navy.
Mac was conning me.
He's not gonna use his real name.
"Mac"? Well, what do you want me to call him? John Doe? And there's something I'd like to know.
What are you doing on a gambling raid? That isn't of any Interest to NIA.
It is if the pilots involved are flying F-18s.
Duc-Ho, who runs that place wouldn't be beyond swapping IOUs for a copy of an operations manual.
Those kids didn't.
No.
Despite what they're flying, they're just a little wet behind the ears.
All Duc-Ho got out of them was their money.
Who tipped you to the card game? NIA got a call from someone in Little Saigon.
It happens all the time.
Mac.
Now, that's the second time you've called him Mac! Magnum, you're not telling me everything! Are you going to charge me or not? Hell, I figure you impersonated an officer all the time you were in the Navy.
I guess once more didn't matter.
The duty yeoman will arrange transportation back to your car.
What are you up to, Buck? This isn't like you to let me off.
I'm doing it because I don't want to spend my Saturday typing up charges.
But if you insist on being charged No, no.
No.
I'll be happy to oblige you.
It's not necessary.
And thank you, Colonel.
It was a nightmare.
No matter how many times I saw Mac, I couldn't prove he existed.
None of my friends had seen him and the people who did wouldn't admit it.
I couldn't blame Higgins or the guys for thinking I was hallucinating.
Hell, I even began to wonder.
So there was no way I was going to tell Buck Greene, or anyone else what was going on.
Not until I found Mac.
Or someone who knew him.
Or Sure, I can pick him out.
Yeah, that's Father Jim.
He's got a mustache now, but that's him.
Came in collecting for Navy Relief.
Now, most of my customers are tourists, but What the hell, I was in the service.
I know how tough it is on you guys.
I gave him $50.
Hey, that's great.
Do you know where I can reach him? You kidding, Lieutenant? Pearl Harbor.
Where else you gonna find a Navy chaplain? Yeah.
Why didn't I think of that? Thanks.
Yeah.
Hey, Lieutenant, don't you want some ice cream? We got a special on a hot fudge sundae.
We don't allow food in the store.
Oh.
Sorry.
If I let you do it, I'd have to let everyone.
And with that ice cream parlor right next door I understand.
Do you recognize the guy on the left? I believe that's Father Jim.
It is.
I didn't know they allowed priests to wear shirts like that.
Oh, only when they're off duty.
Was he in here collecting for Navy Relief? Yes, Thursday morning.
I donated $100.
Is something wrong? No.
No.
He's just an old friend and I was told he was in Waikiki collecting for the fund and I was hoping to find him before my plane left for Tokyo.
Thank you.
If your plane isn't leaving before 3:00, you can meet him here when he picks up his watch.
I call her Olga.
I don't know her real name.
But who can be sure of anybody's real name these days? Magnum.
Boy, am I glad to see you! Really? Did you know that the real Shore Patrol raided that joint right after we left? After you left.
Well, now, I don't blame you for being upset, but I can explain.
Only not here, because I'm being followed.
Look, why don't I meet you at this little place called Al's? It's at the corner of No more meeting places! No more phony IDs! No more bull! I want answers! And I wanna give them to you.
Now, who the hell are you? My name's Jim Bonick.
I was a Navy jet jock till I lost a canopy Oh! at Angels 50 and my eardrums burst! It's the truth! I could never fly again, so I got out.
The last couple of months before my separation they assigned me a desk at NIA.
And that's how I checked your story out.
I called some old friends.
And now you're going to hand me some phony ID with Jim Bonick's name on it.
Are you crazy? Doing what I do for a living, you think I'd carry my real ID on me? See? That proves I'm Jim Bonick! I don't have any ID on me with that name on it! That doesn't prove anything! What do you do for a living? Rip off the Navy Relief Fund? Hold up high-stakes poker games and leave guys like me holding the bag? I took the bag.
You know what I mean! Well, what did I do that was so wrong? What did you do that was so wrong? You're a rip-off artist! You're a conman and a thief! I am not a thief! You're not a You're not a thief? No.
You're not a thief? No.
Did Navy Relief get the money you collected? Huh? Twenty-five percent.
Which is more than they would have gotten from a professional fund-raising company! What about the card game? That money was already ripped off from those pilots.
All I did was liberate it from thieves.
Liberate it? That's right, liberate it! Come on, come on! Give me another one.
Did those pilots get their money back? Well, now, I couldn't very well do that, could I? They're being held on suspicion of gambling.
If I show up to give them money back they lost in a poker game It would It would prove they were gambling and you're only keeping it to save them from being court-martialed.
I'm glad you finally understand.
It doesn't matter.
All that matters is that Rick and Higgins and T.
C.
Meet you! Who's that? They're three guys that think I made you up! And you know something? Right now I'm hoping they're right! I told you I was being followed! Great.
This is all I need.
Wait! Where's the money? Money? The money you stole from them.
I don't know.
Where'd you put it? I'm going to give you to them Okay, okay, okay.
It's in the trunk.
It's not in the trunk! It's in the front trunk! Look, if we give them the money, they're gonna kill us! Our only chance is to jump them.
The money.
It's in the trunk.
It's not in the trunk.
You heard him.
It's under the bonnet.
Bonnet? The front trunk! I have to release it from the inside.
It's under the spare tire.
Now what? I'm a black belt.
You take the guys on your side, I'll take the guys on mine.
Mac! Magnum, you okay? What happened to "I'll take the guys on my side"? There weren't any guys on my side.
When Magnum said he was being conned by somebody posing as an NIA officer and he kept calling him Mac I figured it was you.
You know him? Hell, yes.
He's a Naval pilot who got a medical discharge for Busted eardrums.
That was it.
Uncanny the way he looks like Mac, isn't it? Yeah.
Gave me goose bumps the first time I saw him.
He was assigned to NIA while his discharge was being processed.
Always had some con or another going.
If he hadn't gotten the medical he'd have ended up in Leavenworth.
Well, now, Colonel, that's just not fair.
The hell it isn't, Travis.
Travis? Lieutenant Joe Travis.
That's your buddy's real name.
After Mac agreed to file charges with me against Duc-Ho and his boys Buck let us go.
Outside, Mac quickly explained that he'd lied to the Navy about his name.
He insisted that he'd told me the truth that his real name was Jim Bonick.
It seems he and a friend named Travis had switched names in Pensacola in some elaborate scheme to avoid duty watches and he'd ended up commissioned with Travis's name.
I didn't care if it was true or not.
All that mattered was that I wasn't crazy.
I wasn't hallucinating, there were no ghosts and I could finally prove that to my friends.
Hi, guys.
Where have you been? Where have you been? We've had Five-O scouring the island We were searching the morgue, the hospital, the What are you doing in that uniform? Wait! I know you all think I'm crazy.
Oh, no, well, I didn't mean to imply Well, I didn't say you were crazy.
What I really meant was I don't blame you.
Circumstantial evidence would lead anyone to believe that I had been hallucinating.
Or had seen a ghost.
Well, my friends I have absolute living proof that neither is the case.
Come on in, Mac! Mac? Oh, my God.
Hiya, fellows.
The mustache! Well, what's wrong, Magnum? You look like you've seen a ghost.
Mac's alive! If Magnum thinks he saw Mac, he suffered an hallucination.
Now, I don't blame you for being upset, but I can explain.
I want answers! What did I do that was so wrong? You're a conman and a thief! I'm not a thief.
You're not a Mac! I love you.
No! Oh, Thomas! Traitor! Hey what do you say we drive up to Pali Lookout and watch the sunrise? You know? It'd be beautiful! Hey! Hey! Magnum? I don't mind if you want to drink yourself to death.
But I draw the line at littering.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I can go to pot, but not the estate.
Don't you think you're overdoing this? Nope! I littered, I have to pick it up.
That's not what I'm talking about.
Look, I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific.
My mind is a bit foggy at the moment.
Must be due to lack of sleep.
If you're going to drink yourself into a stupor wouldn't whiskey be more effective? Too hard to keep an even buzz on with whiskey.
In the five years I've known you you've debauched yourself many times but never anything like this.
How long are you going to keep this up? Look, Higgins, I know this is stupid.
I know this isn't going to solve anything.
I know Diane's committing suicide wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could have done.
Well, why this orgy of punishment? How about bracing up and getting on with your life? I know you fell in love with Diane, but It's not just Diane! It's Michelle and Mac Rick's little sister, Dan Cook the little Vietnamese kid whose name I can't remember.
My dad.
All people I loved or who counted on me they're gone.
Death is part of life.
I I know that sounds trite, but the very nature of life means that the older we get the more losses we're going to experience.
And, if we go to war or choose a profession such as yours those losses are going to be higher.
Look, Higgins I know you're trying to help, and I appreciate it.
I really do.
I know this isn't going to solve anything I know I'm being morose.
And stupid.
But I just don't give a damn.
It wasn't true.
I did give a damn otherwise I wouldn't be so disgusted with myself.
But Diane's suicide had started something I couldn't stop.
Mac! You wanna live long, buddy? Mac! What's the problem, bro? Magnum? He's alive.
Mac's alive! Would you please stop that infernal pacing? One would think you were some poor animal caged in a zoo.
I can't help it.
I get nervous in hospitals.
In case you haven't noticed, this is not a hospital.
Leave him alone, Higgie.
And would you decide whether you're going to wear that cap or throttle it to death? The two of you are as nervous as a pair of Devonshire school girls.
And you're not? No.
Then why have you been sipping tea from an empty cup for the last half-hour? I gave him enough Seconal to put a horse to sleep but I wouldn't bet on him staying under till morning.
Is he going to be all right? I don't know.
What do you mean, you don't know? Just what I said.
Diane's suicide hit Magnum hard, very hard.
A certain amount of guilt and depression is to be expected.
But his actions today go far beyond that.
Yeah, well, he's tough.
He'll bounce back.
He always has.
T.
C.
, everybody has a limit, even Magnum.
Black, right? Yeah.
I got used to that when I was an intern.
Couldn't afford the cream and sugar.
We'll have to wait until morning to see how he is.
Who is this Mac he's hallucinating? Oh, Lieutenant MacReynolds.
He was killed a couple of years ago when this guy named Ivan blew up Magnum's Ferrari.
Mr.
Masters' Ferrari.
What difference does it make, Higgins? None.
I'd say Magnum's not the only one who's wired around here.
Well all right.
He should be out the whole night but I would not leave him alone.
No, of course not.
Yeah, we'll stay.
I'll be back around 10:00 and I'll decide then whether or not to hospitalize him.
You don't have to do that, Doc we can take care of him right here.
I'm talking about a mental hospital, gentlemen.
Good night.
Hey what do you say we drive up to Pali Lookout and watch the sunrise? You know? It'd be beautiful! Hi, guys! What are you doing here? Hey, I'm starved.
How about some breakfast? I'm fixing.
I got some eggs, I think, and some bacon.
Maybe some sausage, let me see.
Yeah, I got sausage, I even got some lox and some cream cheese.
Bagels are hard, though.
Are you all right? Oh, I'm fine.
Well, what happened yesterday? Well, I guess, I went off the deep end thinking I saw Mac.
You could say that.
Yeah, but I'm fine now.
How do you want your eggs? Thanks, guys.
Well, how's it look? Rick always was a whiz with the old shears.
Well, it's somewhat of an improvement over your previous tonsorial treatment.
I think he missed his calling.
I'm sure it'll lay down eventually.
Magnum.
Yeah? Do you think it wise for you to drive so soon after your Illness? Yes.
I've been pretty far around the bend.
I know that.
Whether it was hallucinating about Mac, or Doc's shot letting me sleep, I don't know.
Whatever it was I woke up this morning, and everything was in perspective.
I'm fine.
Really.
And I appreciate your concern.
I'll see you later.
Come, lads.
We still have time to catch the last ten minutes of Lassie.
Sometimes the hardest thing to face is reality.
My friends really cared about me but if I'd insisted Mac was alive they'd have thrown me into a padded room.
I knew Mac was back.
It wasn't my imagination, or a hallucination.
He was here.
And I was going to find him.
After three days of surveillance I was familiar with the rhythm of the street.
At 9:00 in the morning those about to be sacrificed to the Hawaiian gods of sun, sea and sand were making their ritualistic trek to the beach.
I knew from experience that very few would return with their skin.
At noon the late-risers and serious souvenir-hunters were prowling about snatching up bargain buys on plastic hula skirts and cheap coral beads.
At 3:15, I got my afternoon treat.
I called her Olga, for obvious reasons.
The cops are pretty good about keeping hookers off the street during the day but I guess when you're as big as Olga you can work any time you want.
By sunset, the last of the lobsters were returning from the beach.
Which meant my day was nearly over and all I had to show for it was a sore butt and a case of heartburn.
It's him.
I'm not hallucinating.
Mac never could pass up ice cream! Suddenly, I was afraid.
Mac was dead.
I'd seen him die.
I consoled his parents, helped bury him.
Yet, there he was, just 10 feet away from me.
I was afraid if I got too close if I touched or spoke to him he'd disappear.
Mac? Are you looking for me? Mac.
I don't know how or why If you're a ghost or what, but, God! Feels good to see you! I think you're confusing me with someone else, son.
My name's not Mac.
I'm Lieutenant Commander Hiller.
But most of the men call me Father Jim.
Mac's a priest? Not Mac, Father Jim! But I'll tell you guys, he is the spitting image of Mac except for the mustache.
I've never seen anything like it.
I have.
In India, back in '49.
I was assigned to Lord Mountbatten as his temporary batman while his Sergeant Major recovered from a mishap with a sacred cow.
We never really quite understood how he managed to so infuriate that animal.
They're really quite docile, you know.
I recall once, outside Calcutta Higgins, what's your point? One day, Lord Mountbatten wanted some fresh figs.
The man loved figs.
So, I went to the local market and that's where it happened.
What? The same sort of thing that's happened to Magnum.
I came face to face with a holy man who looked exactly like You.
Poor guy! Like my mother.
It was bloody frightening.
T.
C.
, what time is it? It's exactly five minutes later than it was the last time you asked.
He's supposed to be here at noon.
Well, he's only Perhaps he got caught in traffic.
So what did he say when you told him about Mac? Well, I think he thought I was crazy.
But then I showed him you know, the picture I have in my wallet of Mac, Julie and I at Luau Louie's the night he was killed.
Look, why don't you guys go ahead and order and I'll wait for Father Jim? You're sure you don't mind? Oh, don't be silly.
Look, Father Jim will be here any minute and then I'll order.
Go ahead, guys.
Magnum the day you told us you had hallucinated seeing Mac you didn't believe that, did you? No.
I knew I saw him.
But if I'd kept trying to convince you guys and Doc Ibold I would have ended up in a padded room.
So you spent the day surveying the street with a telescope.
Camera.
You wouldn't give me Robin's telescope, remember? Yes.
Did you take a picture of him? Mac? I mean, Father Jim? No.
Why not? Because! I was only using the camera because it had a 300mm zoom.
You don't believe me, do you? I believe you saw someone, or thought you saw someone Met! Met him.
Talked to him, had a drink with him.
I showed him Mac's picture.
He told me his name! Said he'd meet me here for lunch! T.
C.
, you remember.
When I told you that Michelle was here you didn't believe me! Yeah.
And I was wrong.
That's why I believe you now.
Me, too.
I'd like to believe you met someone who looks like Mac.
But you don't.
Under the circumstances, I think it highly unlikely.
I think the possibility that you're hallucinating is one we should not ignore.
I am not hallucinating, Higgins! And I can prove it.
Hey, where are you going? To Pearl! I'm gonna find Father Jim.
I'll bring him back here so you can all see for yourselves! Now look what you've done.
Father Jim, if he exists, is one hour and 33 minutes late.
He hasn't called, so unless the poor man has had an incredible emergency or some sort of an accident it is highly probable that he is a figment of Magnum's distraught imagination.
And sitting here saying, "We're with you, old buddy" isn't doing him a bloody bit of good! I'm looking for Lieutenant Commander Hiller.
His yeoman said I might find him here.
Yeah.
I just saw Father Jim.
He was doing laps.
Must have headed for the showers.
They're through the doors.
Through the doors? Yeah, I know.
Thanks.
Ensign Jessup, telephone, line 3.
Ensign Jessup, telephone, line 3.
Seaman Clayton report to the OOD, Barracks 4.
Seaman Clayton, report to the OOD, Barracks 4.
I'm glad you didn't shoot that way five years ago, Magnum.
Well, I'm a little rusty.
You don't remember me, do you? Well, your face is familiar, but Nah, no reason why you should, I spend most of my time on the bench.
No, we played in a benefit game for the Navy Relief Fund.
You know, against Schofield Barracks.
Oh, sure! You played guard.
You're a navy chap Chaplain.
Yeah, that's me.
Father Jim Hiller.
Where is he now? Down by the tidal pool.
That's great! Thomas always swims when he has things to figure out.
Well, he isn't swimming.
He's just sitting on the sand, staring out at the ocean.
Yeah, well, that's a good way to solve a problem, too.
Cabin Island! I loved this as a kid! I remember one night, they were lying in the cabin they heard a moan, they thought it was a ghost.
And Chet, he got so scared Dr.
Ibold, with all due respect I don't think that now is the time for childhood literary recollections.
Until Dr.
Trapp gets here, there's nothing more I can do.
This Dr.
Trapp, what did he say? Well, there really wasn't very much he could say, until he examines Magnum.
But he doubted that he was suffering from a hallucination, you know For Whom the Bell Tolls.
For Whom the Bell Tolls! A great, sexy book in its time.
You remember, they were lying in that sleeping bag the night before they blew the bridge Wait a minute! Wait a minute.
You saying that Magnum is not hallucinating? Dr.
Trapp thought it was unlikely.
Hallucinations are very rare and he thought that Magnum probably was suffering from a delusion.
What's the difference? If Magnum thinks he saw Mac and no one was there he suffered an hallucination.
If someone was there and Magnum thought that person was Mac he's had a delusion.
I couldn't have put it better myself.
Thank you, Doctor.
But Rick is right.
I mean, what difference does it make what you call it? Either way, Magnum is in big trouble.
Unless Harvey.
Harvey! One of the great wonderful plays Unless what? Unless Magnum's telling the truth.
Hold on.
Hold on! Wasn't Magnum always conning Mac? Not just Mac.
Yeah.
And wouldn't we just love to get even? I would ask nothing more of life.
Maybe Mac didn't, either.
Do you realize what you're saying? I didn't say it.
Wait, wait.
You mean that Mac's running a con on Thomas? That means that Mac is back, and Mac's dead! Then it has to be Mac's Ghost.
You said it! I think I got it figured out, Higgins.
Good.
I'd like to hear it.
Oh! How'd you get here? I came up the beach about five miles.
Wanted to see you alone.
Dogs don't count.
Dogs always love me.
I'm like Daniel and the lions.
You know, you could put me in the middle of a junkyard full of Dobies and all they'd do is lick my face.
Who the hell are you? Well, I guess, you figured out I'm not Father Jim.
Well, what would you say if I told you I was Mac? Then you'd be a ghost.
Yeah.
I don't think ghosts get dropped with a right.
I'm not sure if that's ever been proven but I'm not gonna argue with you.
Lieutenant Neville Thompson, NIA? Couldn't tell you the other night.
I was operating undercover.
As Father Jim? Yeah, collecting money for the Navy Relief Fund.
Got nearly $800, too.
What were you really doing? Trying to build my credibility as Father Jim, the friendly Navy chaplain.
Thought you were trying to blow my cover till I checked your story out.
It's a hell of a coincidence me looking like your buddy and you being an ex-NIA officer, huh? Yeah.
Sorry Neville.
Yeah, well I understand.
I just can't get over how much you look like my friend Mac.
He was a real buddy, huh? The best.
Look you wanna call me Mac, it's okay.
I couldn't do that.
I use so many different names on this job already one more is not gonna make any difference.
Really, it's okay.
Thanks Mac.
Now the reason I came to see you is, I need your help.
He's just sitting there talking to the lads.
That doesn't sound good.
What's wrong with talking to the lads? Nothing, as long as you don't think they talk back.
The lads are excellent listeners.
Excellent.
They may be Marine pilots but most of them are just kids in their early 20s and those slicks in Little Saigon are taking them in a crooked poker game.
So, I'm supposed to raid it pretending to be Shore Patrol? Right, right.
And I'll be on the inside.
As Father Jim.
No, no, no, as Lieutenant Briggs.
A pilot in the squadron who's loaded.
Lieutenant Briggs? Right! Right! Do you think the Vietnamese running this game would believe in a priest playing high-stakes poker? I suppose not.
You can bet not.
So the Marines told them I was Lieutenant Briggs.
So the Marines think you're Father Jim.
Right.
They wouldn't have even told me about the poker game if they'd thought I was an NIA officer.
Gambling's a court-martial offense.
Yeah, but I still don't get it Mac.
I mean, why not use the real Shore Patrol? Look, I don't know how you felt about it when you were with the NIA, but I figure it's my job to help our boys, not to punish them and I mean, if we're talking about drugs or stolen government property or something, that's different.
But Getting ripped off in a crooked poker game The way I see it, if I can get those kids their money back and not make it official, who does it hurt? I guess nobody.
Except the yahoos running the game.
Right! Now, there's a head next to that poker room.
Between 2200 and 2215, I'll excuse myself to use it.
At 2230, you crawl through that window dd Open with $10.
I'll call.
I'll see your $10, and raise you $20.
I'll see your $20, and raise you $20.
I'll see that and raise $30.
Nah.
Too much for me.
I'm game.
Call.
Well, let's make it interesting, then.
I'll see your $30 and raise $50.
I'll see that, and $100 more.
I'm in! Call.
I'll see your $100, bump you $100.
It's your money.
When Mac said a big-stakes poker game, he wasn't kidding.
There were thousands on that table.
Marine pilots don't usually have that kind of money and that should have been a warning to me but Mac was in there counting on me and, besides it was 2230.
How many cards? Two for me.
I'll take one.
Freeze! Hey! What the heck! Please.
Great work, Lieutenant! You're under arrest for operating a gambling establishment catering to Armed Forces personnel.
Sorry I had to deceive you men.
I'm Commander Brodrick of the Shore Patrol.
I'm afraid you'll all have to stand court-martial.
Lieutenant, where are your men? Out front, sir.
Good.
I'll go down and get them.
Wait! There comes a time in everyone's life when they know they've been had.
This was mine.
The only chance I had of getting to the street in one piece was to play out the hand.
No pun intended.
Okay, back up.
When Commander When the Commander gets back with his men I want you Marines to have your ID ready.
We're gonna have to book you boys at Pearl.
You people will be turned over to Five-O.
And the ladies Freeze! Shore Patrol! You know, you people didn't have to break in.
I already had them in custody.
I'm going to go downstairs and check on the Commander.
Well done.
Just a minute, sir.
What? Who are you? Who am I? Who am I? His name's Magnum.
And the question's not who he is but what's he doing posing as a Naval officer in an illegal gambling house? They claim there was no one else in that game.
Well, of course they do.
Those Marine pilots think he's Father Jim a Navy chaplain trying to help them.
They're not gonna get him in trouble.
And the Vietnamese? He took all the money from the table.
If he doesn't exist, then the money doesn't exist and you can't charge him with operating a gambling casino.
I checked out your Lieutenant Neville Thompson.
There's no record of anybody by that name in NIA or, for that matter, in the US Navy.
Mac was conning me.
He's not gonna use his real name.
"Mac"? Well, what do you want me to call him? John Doe? And there's something I'd like to know.
What are you doing on a gambling raid? That isn't of any Interest to NIA.
It is if the pilots involved are flying F-18s.
Duc-Ho, who runs that place wouldn't be beyond swapping IOUs for a copy of an operations manual.
Those kids didn't.
No.
Despite what they're flying, they're just a little wet behind the ears.
All Duc-Ho got out of them was their money.
Who tipped you to the card game? NIA got a call from someone in Little Saigon.
It happens all the time.
Mac.
Now, that's the second time you've called him Mac! Magnum, you're not telling me everything! Are you going to charge me or not? Hell, I figure you impersonated an officer all the time you were in the Navy.
I guess once more didn't matter.
The duty yeoman will arrange transportation back to your car.
What are you up to, Buck? This isn't like you to let me off.
I'm doing it because I don't want to spend my Saturday typing up charges.
But if you insist on being charged No, no.
No.
I'll be happy to oblige you.
It's not necessary.
And thank you, Colonel.
It was a nightmare.
No matter how many times I saw Mac, I couldn't prove he existed.
None of my friends had seen him and the people who did wouldn't admit it.
I couldn't blame Higgins or the guys for thinking I was hallucinating.
Hell, I even began to wonder.
So there was no way I was going to tell Buck Greene, or anyone else what was going on.
Not until I found Mac.
Or someone who knew him.
Or Sure, I can pick him out.
Yeah, that's Father Jim.
He's got a mustache now, but that's him.
Came in collecting for Navy Relief.
Now, most of my customers are tourists, but What the hell, I was in the service.
I know how tough it is on you guys.
I gave him $50.
Hey, that's great.
Do you know where I can reach him? You kidding, Lieutenant? Pearl Harbor.
Where else you gonna find a Navy chaplain? Yeah.
Why didn't I think of that? Thanks.
Yeah.
Hey, Lieutenant, don't you want some ice cream? We got a special on a hot fudge sundae.
We don't allow food in the store.
Oh.
Sorry.
If I let you do it, I'd have to let everyone.
And with that ice cream parlor right next door I understand.
Do you recognize the guy on the left? I believe that's Father Jim.
It is.
I didn't know they allowed priests to wear shirts like that.
Oh, only when they're off duty.
Was he in here collecting for Navy Relief? Yes, Thursday morning.
I donated $100.
Is something wrong? No.
No.
He's just an old friend and I was told he was in Waikiki collecting for the fund and I was hoping to find him before my plane left for Tokyo.
Thank you.
If your plane isn't leaving before 3:00, you can meet him here when he picks up his watch.
I call her Olga.
I don't know her real name.
But who can be sure of anybody's real name these days? Magnum.
Boy, am I glad to see you! Really? Did you know that the real Shore Patrol raided that joint right after we left? After you left.
Well, now, I don't blame you for being upset, but I can explain.
Only not here, because I'm being followed.
Look, why don't I meet you at this little place called Al's? It's at the corner of No more meeting places! No more phony IDs! No more bull! I want answers! And I wanna give them to you.
Now, who the hell are you? My name's Jim Bonick.
I was a Navy jet jock till I lost a canopy Oh! at Angels 50 and my eardrums burst! It's the truth! I could never fly again, so I got out.
The last couple of months before my separation they assigned me a desk at NIA.
And that's how I checked your story out.
I called some old friends.
And now you're going to hand me some phony ID with Jim Bonick's name on it.
Are you crazy? Doing what I do for a living, you think I'd carry my real ID on me? See? That proves I'm Jim Bonick! I don't have any ID on me with that name on it! That doesn't prove anything! What do you do for a living? Rip off the Navy Relief Fund? Hold up high-stakes poker games and leave guys like me holding the bag? I took the bag.
You know what I mean! Well, what did I do that was so wrong? What did you do that was so wrong? You're a rip-off artist! You're a conman and a thief! I am not a thief! You're not a You're not a thief? No.
You're not a thief? No.
Did Navy Relief get the money you collected? Huh? Twenty-five percent.
Which is more than they would have gotten from a professional fund-raising company! What about the card game? That money was already ripped off from those pilots.
All I did was liberate it from thieves.
Liberate it? That's right, liberate it! Come on, come on! Give me another one.
Did those pilots get their money back? Well, now, I couldn't very well do that, could I? They're being held on suspicion of gambling.
If I show up to give them money back they lost in a poker game It would It would prove they were gambling and you're only keeping it to save them from being court-martialed.
I'm glad you finally understand.
It doesn't matter.
All that matters is that Rick and Higgins and T.
C.
Meet you! Who's that? They're three guys that think I made you up! And you know something? Right now I'm hoping they're right! I told you I was being followed! Great.
This is all I need.
Wait! Where's the money? Money? The money you stole from them.
I don't know.
Where'd you put it? I'm going to give you to them Okay, okay, okay.
It's in the trunk.
It's not in the trunk! It's in the front trunk! Look, if we give them the money, they're gonna kill us! Our only chance is to jump them.
The money.
It's in the trunk.
It's not in the trunk.
You heard him.
It's under the bonnet.
Bonnet? The front trunk! I have to release it from the inside.
It's under the spare tire.
Now what? I'm a black belt.
You take the guys on your side, I'll take the guys on mine.
Mac! Magnum, you okay? What happened to "I'll take the guys on my side"? There weren't any guys on my side.
When Magnum said he was being conned by somebody posing as an NIA officer and he kept calling him Mac I figured it was you.
You know him? Hell, yes.
He's a Naval pilot who got a medical discharge for Busted eardrums.
That was it.
Uncanny the way he looks like Mac, isn't it? Yeah.
Gave me goose bumps the first time I saw him.
He was assigned to NIA while his discharge was being processed.
Always had some con or another going.
If he hadn't gotten the medical he'd have ended up in Leavenworth.
Well, now, Colonel, that's just not fair.
The hell it isn't, Travis.
Travis? Lieutenant Joe Travis.
That's your buddy's real name.
After Mac agreed to file charges with me against Duc-Ho and his boys Buck let us go.
Outside, Mac quickly explained that he'd lied to the Navy about his name.
He insisted that he'd told me the truth that his real name was Jim Bonick.
It seems he and a friend named Travis had switched names in Pensacola in some elaborate scheme to avoid duty watches and he'd ended up commissioned with Travis's name.
I didn't care if it was true or not.
All that mattered was that I wasn't crazy.
I wasn't hallucinating, there were no ghosts and I could finally prove that to my friends.
Hi, guys.
Where have you been? Where have you been? We've had Five-O scouring the island We were searching the morgue, the hospital, the What are you doing in that uniform? Wait! I know you all think I'm crazy.
Oh, no, well, I didn't mean to imply Well, I didn't say you were crazy.
What I really meant was I don't blame you.
Circumstantial evidence would lead anyone to believe that I had been hallucinating.
Or had seen a ghost.
Well, my friends I have absolute living proof that neither is the case.
Come on in, Mac! Mac? Oh, my God.
Hiya, fellows.
The mustache! Well, what's wrong, Magnum? You look like you've seen a ghost.