Parenthood s05e03 Episode Script
Nipple Confusion
I'm waiting for this wave of love to wash over me, and it's just not happening.
This is the start of our act three.
So you're saying you want to sell our house.
I think we should talk about it.
I'm gonna run for mayor of Berkeley.
Nobody's ever even heard of Kristina.
She's never run for office.
It's not like she's running for the presidency.
I don't know how realistic it is.
- You got my back, right? - Right.
Wow! That's awesome! Stop staring at me like that.
- I literally cannot look away.
- Try.
This is the most fascinating contraption I have ever seen.
It's pneumatic and it's hydraulic.
There's fluid and air.
It's-- - it's really not that fascinating, okay? I feel like a big old cow.
A big, lactating, unsexy, sleep-deprived cow.
You know what? I haven't slept more than 20 minutes in a row since that thing came out of me.
She's gotta take this bottle.
I mean, seriously, I-I really need a break, or else I'm gonna die.
And then, at that point, my breasts will no longer be an option because I will be dead.
Okay, so you want me to hook-- I hook her to this? - No.
- Does it have, like, a reverse? It's got a reverse button? - No.
- Oh, I'm going here.
Okay.
- Just give her to me.
- You got more in there? It's not--yeah.
Come on, come on.
You look so beautiful right now.
You look very beautiful.
Shh Thanks for doing this at the last minute.
Oh, my pleasure.
You're literally, like, the only photographer available.
I mean, seriously, I must have called, like, 100 people before I found your web site.
That many, huh? Which I loved.
Your web site-- beautiful.
There's no people, though.
No, I'm trying to specialize in pho-dog-raphy,so - You're really good.
- Thank you.
- How 'bout this? - Okay.
- He has a great stomach.
- Cute.
Um Ready? One, two, three Yeah, you like that? Yes.
Just make sure you don't triple-check that list.
Okay.
Okay, at 3:00 you have a phoner with Kaitlin Lonner.
Take a look at these.
Kaitlin Lonner.
Yeah, she's a local blogger.
Site gets plenty of traffic, so it's good.
Put pens on the list too.
We need pens.
- Pens? I have pens.
- No, no, no, no.
Like campaign pens.
You know, people love free pens.
Such a good idea! When I go to the doctor's office, I'm like, "oh, there's the pen.
" It's easy to remember.
- You want a free pen, right? - Good morning, honey.
- Morning, honey.
How are you? - I'm good.
Coffee's over there.
Okay.
It's more convenient over here.
Is that the door? Okay, that's probably the short guy.
I'm gonna grab it, you guys do the hubby-wife thing.
Her ass is mine for the rest of the day, though.
- Okay.
Let's go.
- Wow.
She is so amazing.
I'm telling you, if Bob knew that she existed, he never would have hired me, ever.
Honey, you are an amazing campaign manager.
Oh, it was fine, but she is on fire.
Like, she's actually making me think that I can do this.
Like, I feel like a million bucks with her.
Seriously, there's no coffee? All right, so it wasn't the shirt guy, but our juice is here.
Good, we have extract juice, but no coffee.
I'll put it on the list.
The intern guy's gonna run out later and get it.
We have a meeting with the renewable energy people, and they like their kale liquefied.
Can I get your credit card, Kristina? Um Oh.
Give her your credit card.
- Mine's maxed out.
- That's not-- the delivery charge.
- No, no problem.
I had to get office supplies.
You know how-- - here you go, Heather.
- Thank you.
- All right.
Amazing how fast you run out of things.
There's your copy.
There's your credit card and your receipt.
Okay.
The tip is included.
I might need 20 bucks later too for gas, but Really? $250 for juice? Seriously? Yeah.
Amber, are you-- - ooh! Hi.
Hey.
Hi.
I'm very sorry.
No, don't.
It's fine.
Hang on.
Hi.
Come in.
Don't.
It's fine.
- I'll leave.
- Come in here.
Shh.
It's fine.
What's up? It's just my roommate- I have a class at 8:00, and my roommate locked me out.
He put the-- he put the lacrosse stick on the door.
- Uh - I'm sorry, what? I can't go in there.
I don't know-- - oh, like a tie, or whatever? - Yeah, it's-- - It's like a-- - you don't have a place to sleep? - Yeah.
No.
And then I'm-- - Drew.
- I can leave.
- That's--no.
Stay.
Just put your stuff down.
Stay here.
It's great.
Yeah, and I can go-- - Drew - Do you guys need something? - Don't go back out there.
- Yeah.
We don't really have anything for breakfast.
Honey-- we'll get breakfast tomorrow.
It's fine.
You can totally stay, man.
We have our whole lives If you need something for breakfast or whatever We have stuff.
It's fine.
Okay? All right.
- You want something to drink? - I'm sorry.
- You want something? - Sure.
Okay.
This is gonna be fun.
That's it.
Bring her back, my man.
Gently.
Bring her on back.
Come on.
That's it.
You got plenty of room.
Come on back.
Good, Billy! That's it.
What is this? - Huh? - This.
- This? - Yeah? This-- come here a minute.
This is a 1965 Pontiac gto convertible coupe.
Now, you gotta use your imagination, but underneath all this dust is a beautiful metallic teal paint job.
What's it doing in our driveway? Not "it.
" Not "it.
" "She.
" What's she doing here? Okay, Billy, I think we're good.
Let her down.
Let's unhook her.
Come on.
Anyway, I got her from Walter at the vet center.
You bought it? We own this? She.
We own her.
I mean, it was no big deal.
Don't think about the money.
Walter practically gave her away.
The only thing she needs is a brand new engine, and that's gonna be the fun part.
That's a year-long project.
No, six to eight months tops.
This is your answer, right? I say I want to talk about possibly selling the house, and you pull a year-long project into the driveway? Would you quit saying-- six to eight months.
Come on, give me some credit here, girl.
Hey, don't walk away from me.
- Okay, Billy, let's unhook her! - Jake.
Come on.
Isn't she a beauty? May God bless and keep you always and may your wishes all come true may you always do for others and let others do for you may you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung and may you stay for er young may you grow up to be righteous may you grow up to be true may you always know the truth and see the lights surrounding you may you always be courageous stand upright and be strong and may you stay forever young may you stay forever young Victor's reading skills are anywhere near - where they should be.
- Right.
I know he's a little bit behind, but he has, I mean, made leaps and bounds since he's lived with us.
I understand there are special circumstances, and that's why I wanted to speak with you both first before I make any sort of a recommendation.
Okay, what's happening here? Recommendation for what? From what I've seen, Victor might benefit from repeating the fourth grade.
You wanna-- you wanna hold him back? No, I don't want to do anything here, now, except open up a dialogue.
Generally speaking, we don't like to move children into a different classroom unless it's a last resort.
I mean, we read with him every night, but maybe we could read-- do a little more reading.
I don't know.
Um Julia's got some time off from work.
Maybe you could.
That would be wonderful.
I mean, I was gonna suggest a tutor, but that's even better.
I can give you some extra reading assignments and exercises.
Victor is really a very, very sweet boy.
Mmhmm.
I'd like to see a little more effort, but I think that'll come as he gains more confidence and-- - so what if he doesn't? What if he doesn't improve? Let's just take a breath Put these strategies in place.
We'll see if it works, and, um, then we'll worry about making any decisions.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
All right, good attitude, Adam.
Cut these costs.
- Hi.
- Yeah.
Can I work here? The wi-fi's out in my building.
Wow, you gotta get a new super.
I knew you were gonna say that.
Yeah, come on in.
What are you doing? I am working on Kristina's campaign budget.
Doesn't she have the woman that does that? Yeah, she's got a campaign manager, Heather.
But if I let her do this, we're gonna wind up in the hole for sure.
$600 for pens! Do we really need pens? I don't think so.
I love free pens.
Is that gonna make you vote for somebody? - Sure.
- We're gonna wind up bankrupt.
Look at this.
$900 for head shots.
Get a photographer to take one picture of Kristina for the lawn signs and all the other posters.
Um I'll do the head shots.
- Sarah, I mean - What? You've never worked with a human being? Not professionally.
Well, I need a professional.
This is a campaign I am a professional.
I just-- I don't feel good about working, you know, with family.
I don't think that's a good idea.
Is that why you went into business with your brother Crosby, and hired my daughter to work the front desk? All right, point taken.
Maybe you just feel good about working withthisfamily.
If I'm gonna be spending close to $1,000 on a photograph for a campaign-- You don't have to.
You know what? I'll do it for free.
- For free? As in no money? - Yes.
Yes.
I want the shot.
- Satisfaction guaranteed? - Of course.
We don't like it, we can go somewhere else? Deal.
- $100.
- $50.
- Fine.
- Okay, it's a deal.
I'm on it.
I'm totally on it.
Just you keep relaxing.
Thank you.
Come on.
Sweetie, sweetie.
It's breast milk.
You like breast milk.
I've seen you enjoying breast-- it's just breast milk.
You don't want it.
You don't want it.
Come on, you stubborn little stinker.
Hey, honey.
Hi.
You look very beautiful.
I look like I should be offering you peanuts and an in-flight magazine.
That is one sexy flight attendant right there.
Honey, a mayor's not supposed to look sexy.
They're supposed to look "mayoral," with maybe a hint of sexiness.
Well- - I feel like I need a whole new wardrobe, you know? Hey, uh, how would you feel about having Sarah do your campaign photo? - Your sister? - Yeah.
She said she'd do it for free.
But this photo has to be awesome.
We need a good professional image.
- Sarah will do a good job.
- Honey Check it out.
- Yep.
- Hot off the presses, okay? - We can do that.
We need a professional.
We don't need a professional photographer.
It's gonna cost $1,000.
We've already spent $5,000 on this campaign, and it's stressing me out.
Technically, this isn't really our money.
- Oh, it is our money.
- We're gonna get reimbursed.
Oh, it's our money.
I'm not suggesting that we stop spending money on your campaign.
I'm just saying slow down until we know that there are some donations coming in.
There are donations coming in, okay? - Tell you what.
- What? Can I just sit down with you just for a second? Look, I just want to show you a couple different ways we can trim the budget.
You went through my budget? Why did you-- I did.
For what? We're spending our money on the campaign right now-- - Adam, I know that we're spending our money right now, but we're gonna pay ourselves back.
I just want to pull back a little bit until we know that we have the donations coming in to cover these expenses, okay? The donations are coming in, and we're gonna raise enough money to cover all of our expenses.
Okay, just stop for one second, all right? No, you're pissing me off.
I'm sorry I'm making you mad.
This is a reality check.
I guess so it's You're a first-time candidate.
- Am I really? - You're late to the race.
- I didn't know that.
- And I want to make sure that we're gonna be able to come up with enough donations to cover these expenses.
You don't think that I know that Bob Little wants to see me, like, crash and burn, and that I'm a first-time political candidate, and this is gonna be a tough run for me? You don't think I know that, Adam? - Okay.
- No, hold on a second.
When you wanted to open up the luncheonette, I supported you 100%, and it was ten times crazier, and ten times more expensive than this.
It's worked out, okay? And by the way, at the time, you called me nuts.
I did call you nuts.
But I supported you.
And I'm supporting you.
I'm just trying to help out.
I've always supported you.
I just don't want to see us get into financial trouble here.
Kristina, that's all I'm doing.
You're not trusting me is what you're doing.
Thank you, budget boy.
"Budget boy.
" Great.
- I haven't slept.
- Oh.
I've just been thinking about this Victor situation.
Oh You know, Miss Mikindoe is right? His reading level is not up to a fifth grade reading level.
I mean, it's not even fourth grade reading level, if we're being honest with ourselves.
Which is why she wanted to have us in to talk about reading with him more.
But I've been reading with him constantly.
Okay, well, maybe I can come home from work a little early a couple nights a week.
And if I can't do that, then we'll find a tutor for him.
I don't know how much more we can do Really, that we haven't already done.
We have done it, and it hasn't worked.
And it's not gonna work in the time frame that we have.
I mean God, he's gonna be in the same grade as Sydney, and I don't even know how to begin to tackle that.
Jules, we're not even there yet.
Wehow close to there do we have to be? She said she wants to hold him back, basically-- that she was waiting because of, you know, his special circumstances, which is-- ehh, I hate that.
- Okay.
Just let's Deep breaths here.
Were we even in the same conversation? You know what I heard? I heard a teacher telling us that we got a good kid.
Can we take our finger off the nuclear launch button? I'm not going nuclear.
I'm Going a little Nuclear.
Going a little nuclear.
- That's okay.
- But-- - it's a tough conversation to have, but that's all it was-- a conversation.
It was a conversation about holding our kid back a year.
- Can I just get coffee? - Yeah.
All right.
Hey, berto.
Nice robe, roommate.
Hey, so I might need some private time again tonight.
It's not 100% yet, but I got a strong feeling.
Okay, um, actually, I have a cla-- Hey, Natalie.
Oh, uh, hi Guy from across the-- Drew.
Right.
- Yeah.
Hey.
- Hey.
We have the same shower caddy.
Look at that.
Yeah.
Crazy small world.
Yeah.
Um The line, it's-- is a--just wait until the line's kinda - Nice work, dude.
- See ya.
Hank, can I borrow the flag stand? You're not really asking 'cause it's already in the cart, right? So Hank, can I borrow the flag stand that I already have in the cart? Yes.
But if one of your dog clients does something on it, I'm gonna want a new one.
Thank you for asking.
Uh, my client tomorrow is not a dog.
It is a real live human being.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
Is it against their will, or-- - that's very funny.
In fact, my client is very prestigious.
It's a mayoral candidate.
- Oh, yeah, I got it.
- Yeah.
Your sister-in-law, right? Yeah, running for mayor.
So? Don't say it like that, like that's not a real job.
It's a real job.
She's still running for mayor.
I'm excited.
You could be excited for me.
- I am.
It's exciting.
- Thanks.
You what would be exciting? Make some money, and maybe you buy some equipment.
Oh, look at this.
The representative of my famous client.
Hi, Adam.
Your sister-in-law, you mean.
Yeah.
Oh.
Really? No, I do get it.
Thank you.
I'll talk to you about it later.
No, thanks for calling.
Okay, bye.
Um, Kristina decided she wants somebody with more experience.
Get the next one, then.
All right? Yeah.
You know, I've been passed over so many times on jobs, it's really no big deal.
Yeah, but you get passed over because you have a weird personality.
But That's totally not true.
Anyway, this is my family, and they're just not even taking me seriously.
Why would they? Really.
No, I mean--I mean-- No, no.
Just don't sugarcoat it.
No, no, no.
Look, when I met you, you were a playwright Something, and then a A Graphic-- you did stuff with-- - Graphic designer.
- Yeah, you were that too.
- I did that a long time ago.
But you were Flighty.
They don't take you seriously because they know you.
So that's not an insult.
I'm just saying strangers don't know you.
No, I'm serious.
I know.
Working with family is-- is hell.
Strangers don't know who you are.
You got a clean Slate.
Well, you know me.
Do you take me seriously? Oh Okay.
- Okay what? Let me answer.
- No, you paused.
The pause says it all.
I pause on everything.
No, no.
Not that kind.
- I got a-- I got a stronger - Don't try to fix it.
I've gotta go.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
What? You get a little flighty with-- - I'm not getting flighty.
I'm exiting.
I'm leaving.
You know, sometimes you pause for effect.
I'll just talk to you later.
This is flighty, what you're doing right now.
Hmm.
If I choose my state project on Hawaii, does that mean we could take a trip there? Victor, you know what? States are not assigned for another month or so, so let's just focus on the work you have now.
Like the readings we were doing.
We got through two chapters of island of the blue dolph last night.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
Were you guys trading off reading, or just dad? Dad read.
- Victor followed along, though.
- Okay.
How do you like the book? Well, what was it about? It's Victor, you read two chapters? You ought to be able to tell me what it's about.
It was about, like, otters, and dumb stuff like that.
Okay, what about the main character? Okay, it's time to brush teeth.
You guys, I'm driving you today, so get going.
Oh.
- Come on.
- Hmm.
Hello? - Oh, hey.
- Hi.
- How are you? - How you doing, stranger? - Do you have a minute? - Of course I do.
- I'm sure you're really busy.
- I am a little-- - wow.
- Just getting things underway.
It's crazy, right? That's amazing.
It looks incredible.
It's so fun.
- Yeah.
- I just got the balloons done.
- Great.
- And the campaign signs.
So everything's coming together.
Kristina, I believe in you.
And while I know that you haven't chosen me as your photographer yet, I also know that you haven't seen some of my most recent work, and I thought maybe if you saw it, you'd change your mind.
I would love to see your-- yeah, of course.
Now, this is waffles, but what I want you to see is just his eyes, and the warmth - Yeah.
- And intelligence - Seems like a nice dog.
- In his eyes.
This cat was cross-eyed, so it's not the best example.
Again, it's just capturing personality.
What I know I can do better than a stranger is capture you.
- Sarah, listen - What's strong and beautiful - I love how passionate you are.
- And smart about you.
And I can get that.
Thank you.
I love how passionate you are, but I-- I have to have-- I just need a profess-- - I understand.
I need someone that has done it so many times before.
Or do you need someone who knows you so well that they can bring out what's beautiful and strong and smart about you? I would argue I'm that person.
I know I don't have a lot of experience, but-- - this has to be my one shot.
I get one shot at this photo.
I have to bring it to the printers by the end of the week.
This is an important shot for me too.
To tell you the truth, not a lot of people think I'm gonna win.
Well, I'm not one of those people.
Thank you.
Um Okay.
- Okay? - Okay.
- Why not? - Thank you so much.
You won't regret it.
I swear, you won't regret it.
I wouldn't do this if I didn't think I could do it 100%, okay? Let's do it.
Let's do it.
- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
This is gonna be great.
Julia.
Julia? - Hey.
- Hi.
How you doing? Took a little trip there, huh? Yeah.
I'm sorry, I'm a little out of it.
- Yeah.
- Oh - All right, I'm just gonna-- - Uh, no, no, no.
I'm sorry.
I'm fine.
I mean, I'm not fine, but you don't have to go.
Well, I'm assuming you weren't in Bora Bora just now, huh? Victor's teacher is talking to us about holding him back.
But you don't know that.
I didn't say that.
Please, just keep that to yourself.
Yeah.
No, I'm-- I'm sorry.
I would not say anything at all.
Mmm.
That's-- that's rough.
Well, that's where I was going.
I mean, playing out the scenarios.
Keep him in fifth grade, do I put him back in fourth grade? Do I home school him? I mean, I don't know.
So it's not, like, definitely happening? No.
She just wanted to open the conversation.
- Oh.
- So we're still waiting to see.
God, I hate it when schools say crap like that because it's--you either do it or don't do it.
But every second that you keep waiting, the poor kid is getting more settled in the fifth grade.
It's stupid.
Wow, that is so not my place to say.
No, no.
You're absolutely right.
Huh.
Dick Cheney failed out of Yale Twice.
Not really sure where you put that on your pro/con list, though.
Exactly.
What makes you think I have a pro/con list? Oh, come on.
You're a former lawyer.
Dengraff and Prossler? You've totally got a pro/con list.
I've totally got a pro/con list.
Yes, you do.
All right, pro/con list thing? - Yes.
- Okay, let's go.
Cons.
Cons.
Berto, hey.
- What's up, dude? - Do you have a minute? - What's up, bro? - Um I thought maybe we should talk about the, um-- are those my sheets? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I was out, and yours were there.
Why? Are you not cool with that? No.
No, I'm not.
And also, you know, putting the stick on the door, I--I keep getting locked out.
I have an 8:00 A.
M.
class.
I can't-- Dude, that's rough.
Can I give you some advice? Next time this happens, go out and knock on a girl's door.
Like that girl from the bathroom that you're so hot for.
What, Natalie? Go up to her door and be all, like, "my jackass roommate just sexisled me.
" And then she'll be all, like, "aww, you poor thing.
Come in here so I can comfort you.
" Yeah, that's not-- it's not a bad idea.
Hopefully, it won't happen again, do you know? - Bro - What? Good talk, dude.
Pbbbt.
I don't know, to me, it's just really strange.
It's--I don't like it.
Well, it's unconventional, but the lactation consultant said the babies respond to the natural nipple feel, you know? Maybe not even-- Have you tried all this stuff? Dad, I'm willing to try anything.
We are so desperate at this point.
The baby will not stop crying unless she's breastfeeding and I don't know how much more Jasmine can take.
She needs a break, and the baby will not take a bottle from me.
Well, sometimes they don't want the dad.
You know, it's that simple.
The whole thing is not what I thought it was gonna be.
I mean, I know Jabbar was five years old when I met him, and I can't really compare the two situations, but it just felt a lot easier.
There was a, you know, an instinct connection with him the moment I saw him, and Girls are complicated.
You know, they're different.
I mean, boys are-- are simpler.
You know, a boy's got a problem, you take him to a ball game, you get him a hotdog-- they're copasetic.
They're--they're good to go, and, I mean Girls are--you gotta walk around on eggshells with 'em.
I don't know, one day you're the king of the castle-- you know, they're just in love with you.
You're their daddy.
And then the next thing you know, they don't know who you are.
It's like they're-- they hate you.
I didn't realize it was gonna be this hard.
Yeah, it's difficult.
But that's what-- that's what makes it good at the end, you know? I mean, it changes.
I don't know.
What's mom think of this car? Oh, she loves it.
- Does she? - Ooh Loves it.
There.
And Okay.
- Got it? - Yeah.
Really good.
- You need to turn that down.
- No, no, it's okay.
No, it has to be-- it has to be a more precise shot with the camera so far away.
Max, enough.
You said you wanted to help.
You aren't helping.
She's not gonna be too pale when it happens.
She looks very pale.
I am a little pale.
So let's just do a couple of-- We'll just do a couple test shots, guys.
Line up your nose with your belly button.
Let's see your posture.
Warm and happy.
Keep her strong.
You know? Maternal still.
Hey, baby! - Oh, wait.
No, no, no.
- Hey, there she is.
Want to take a picture? Okay, we're wasting time.
That's too maternal.
Come on.
Should I sit? I'm sweating.
Everyone just pipe down.
She looks like she's in pain.
Definitely delete the last one.
Aunt Sarah-- yeah, I thought so.
This is-- we're gonna get killed-- - you've got a good eye.
- Okay.
No, you're not doing this Damn it.
Damn it! - It's lavender mint.
- Oh, thank you, Millie.
I thought it was about time you'd want to stop for the night.
No--oh, God.
No, I'm kind of on a roll here, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, well, it's getting pretty late.
Yeah, I know.
Why don't you go ahead and go up to bed without me, and I'll be there in a few minutes.
You can't keep doing this.
No, it's just a few more minutes.
You can't keep avoiding this.
Well, Millie, I tell you what.
Now, if I stop now, I'm gonna have parts all over the place, and it's gonna be one hell of a big mess.
Okay, fine.
We'll talk while you work.
Okay, clue me in here.
Exactly what are we supposed to be talking about? You know what we're supposed to be talking about.
I tried to have a discussion with you about the possibility of selling the house, and you walked away from me.
Okay.
All right.
So what is there to talk about? Why don't we start with your feelings? I mean, what do you feel? You know, what are you thinking? I don't want to sell the house.
End of discussion.
So why bother to have a conversation? Okay, you may or may not want to sell the house, and in the end, maybe I won't want to sell the house either.
But we're gonna have a discussion about it! I deserve that much.
Hey.
Sorry.
Can I come in? - Hey, we're closed.
- I know.
- I just thought that-- - What's going on? The shoot was terrible, and, um, I was very nervous, and Kristina was nervous, and Max was the only one who seemed to know what he was doing, which made me even more nervous.
And her campaign manager wanted her to be maternal and powerful.
And I don't know what that means.
Well, you shouldn't.
I don't know what that means either, it's stupid.
Can you just tell me if I'm any good? Please.
Mmhmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mmm That's the shot right there.
I mean, the other ones are Decent.
Some of 'em are okay.
Some are better than others.
But that's your shot.
Okay.
I mean, you know, I don't know what I would have done Different, but Everybody has their own style.
That's a really good shot.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
It's good.
Thanks.
I tried to talk to him again.
He told me we had a nice talk and called me "bro.
" And no, the stick has been on the door for three hours.
- Again? - Three hours? Yes, three hours.
Also, he took my sheets.
Your personal sheets? - Which ones? Not the gray ones? - The sheets you got me.
Yes.
- The gray sheets? - I swear.
Yes.
- Oh, my God.
That's no joke.
- I know.
- Those were expensive.
- That's what I'm trying to say.
I'm gonna call him.
I know you're embarrassed.
I'm like a mom, but I'm gonna call him.
Well, you don't have his number, so ha ha.
I'm just saying you can't talk to people like this.
You have to go and confront them.
We're definitely not going down there-- - let's go down there.
Got this guy on our side.
We're just gonna talk to him.
We're just gonna talk to him.
- What, like scare him? - No.
No.
We're gonna be nice.
Yeah, nice.
We're gonna reason with the guy.
- Let's go get him.
Come on.
- Cool? What the hell? Oh, my God, what are you doing? There's a roommate issue that needs to be resolved, and it doesn't concern you-- I think you should leave.
I apologize.
No, no, no, not with this.
I'm so sorry, I can't-- Sorry.
Dude, what the hell do you think you're doing? "Dude" is not his name.
It's Drew.
Not "dude," not "bro.
" Drew.
Say it.
Let's practice.
Drew.
- Drew.
- Say it! - Drew.
- That sounded good.
Dude, I don't know who you think you are-- - no, no, no, dude's not my name either.
Sergeant York is fine.
He's in the army.
And if Drew has a problem with you, you have a problem with me.
You got it? Got it.
Great.
You know, quit locking me out.
And we also talked about the line.
Keep your stuff on that side.
Oh, I have something.
Um, the sheets thing, it just can't happen because it seems like not a big deal, but actually, even if you dry clean it, the smell is-- - yes, and the sheets-- don't touch his sheets.
Don't touch anything of his without asking from now on, okay? Okay.
Great.
See ya.
Nice to meet you.
Um Good talk, bro.
Okay, the runts are asleep, Victor's homework is done, so let's talk.
Okay.
I think you nailed it when you said it's not gonna fix itself overnight.
Good, so we agree.
It's not gonna fix itself in the next two or three weeks either.
- Yeah.
- So the longer he stays there, the harder it is for him to start over.
And I think we just need to do it.
We need to rip off the band-aid.
You're-- you want to hold him back? - Yeah.
Now? Without even trying? We've been trying.
I tutored him every day this whole summer while you were at work.
What's that supposed to mean? It doesn't mean anything.
It means that I know where he's at on this.
I know what I'm seeing.
So do I.
Not the way that I do.
- Don't pull rank with me.
- I'm not pulling-- - I never did that with you when you were working.
It's not fair.
I'm sure you saw plenty that I didn't see while I was working.
And you made decisions without even consulting me.
Yeah, pb & j or tuna fish? Ballet or karate? Nothing like this.
Nothing like this ever came up.
Well, this has come up now, and I think we need to hold him back.
And I disagree.
I see a kid who's trying, who's making huge strides.
If we pull him back now, his-- I mean, it will just absolutely shred his self-confidence.
No, what's gonna shred his self-confidence is keeping him in a class where he can't keep up.
There are studies on this.
Ed was telling me that he read a study about-- Ed? Who the hell is Ed? Ed is a parent from the sustainability committee.
- Ed Brooks? - Yeah.
You talked to Ed Brooks about this? Fantastic.
Well, we might as well go and just talk to Victor now and tell him, because the whole school's gonna know about this in the morning.
He's not gonna tell anyone.
Oh, Ed won't, no.
But his wife probably will.
She happens to be the biggest blabbermouth on the PTA.
Listen, relax, she's not even around the school anymore.
Ed hardly sees her.
She's not gonna-- - what else are you and Ed talking about? He just caught me in a bad moment.
I was upset, and so I kind of-- Yeah.
Anyway, let's stay on topic here.
Yeah, let's stay on topic.
What about what happened at breakfast this morning? What about this morning at breakfast? You laying into our son about the stupid book, Julia.
You needle him like that, he's gonna know that something is up.
Something is up.
This is ridiculous.
Are you ending this conversation that we've waited all day to have? What else is there to say? There-- We need to set up a meeting with his teacher, and with the principal, and we need to discuss getting him back into fourth grade as soon as possible.
That's what there is to discuss.
No.
No.
We're not doing that.
We made a plan with his teacher that we were gonna find him tutoring, we were gonna take a month, and then we would reevaluate.
And that's what we're gonna do.
You don't like it Talk to Ed.
I'm going for a walk.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Wow.
I mean, that is one awesome campaign photo right there.
- Yes.
- Right? Your sister really came through.
I think it's great.
I think she did a really good job.
It's strong, it's-- - that is--that is professional quality right there.
Mmhmm.
She's gonna expect to get paid next time.
More than 50 bucks.
You made the deal.
- Pretty slick deal I made - Yeah, it's good.
She deserves every penny.
I just-- it's so weird, isn't it? - What? - The picture.
I mean, just to look at it, it's like I'm Not used to seeing myself with hair.
- Right.
- You know? I catch myself, you know Walking past a mirror or something, and I still half-expect me to be bald, you know? I think, "there goes bald Kristina.
" Cancer Kristina.
Uhhuh.
I feel like I kicked cancer in its teeth.
I feel like kind of a badass, you know? You did kick cancer in its teeth.
You are a badass.
- We're lucky.
- We are.
- We're very lucky.
- Mm-hmm.
I don't know, I feel like lately I've just had this.
"I defeated cancer" attitude.
I can do anything and conquer the world - You can do anything.
- And I feel like-- I feel like I got ahead of myself with this campaign, you know? - Uh-huh.
- I feel like we need to Just to pull back a little, maybe talk to Heather about, you know, not spending as much just until I can make some money.
Fundraising and Just to see where we stand.
Kristina, you know, after giving that little speech, I don't have any choice but to reach in my wallet and hand over my credit card.
Okay, well, that was not my intention.
I'm not trying to get sympathy.
I'm-I'm just-- I know.
And you know I have mixed feelings about the campaign.
I know that you do.
So where does that leave us? Well, it leaves me with no choice.
Take it.
Just take it.
- I can't.
- Take it.
- Can't do it.
- Just take it.
Take the other one.
Oh, God! - Take it.
Just - It's better than sex.
Take the whole thing.
Thank you for believing in me.
I love you.
I love you.
- No more green juice.
- I can get red juice.
Hey.
You remember when Adam and Crosby hung the welcome home sign from the tree there when we brought Julia home from the hospital? And Sarah She had her first play in the barn.
Remember Crosby's punk rock band? Were they bad or what? I mean, practicing all night long, huh? Sarah, when she was a little girl, she ran away from home, she hides in the guest house Tells us she never wants to see us again.
- Zeek - And Julia, I mean Wasn't it yesterday she stood there and told us she got into Stanford? And Crosby got married down there where I strung up all those fourth of July lights.
I mean, how many millions of years ago was that? Everything I want is right here, Millie.
This is it.
This is This is my third act with you.
I want more.
I want us to do wonderful things together.
Like I can picture us bragging about our grandchildren as we're boating down the Seine.
I don't know, you know, I-- I've been painting this yard for 20 years now.
Kinda like to paint something else.
Think how many things we could do.
How many things we could afford to do if we sold the house.
All the places we could see.
I don't know.
I've seen other places I didn't really care for 'em.
Well, I haven't.
I was so young when we got married.
I was practically a baby myself when Adam was born.
I'm not complaining.
You know that.
It's been a good life.
It's been a beautiful life.
I've loved every minute of it.
But I'm ready for the next step.
Hey.
Hey.
I need the room, bro.
You got it, Drew.
- Yeah.
That was my roommate.
- Yeah.
This is pretty much it.
- Scrabble.
- Oh, yeah.
My mom packed that for me.
- No, I love scrabble.
- Yeah? Yeah.
Do you know how to play? Yeah.
- Yeah? - I love scrabble too.
Who doesn't? - It's like seven-- - Yeah, seven.
Okay, cool.
"The Vill" I don't know this one.
Sound it out.
Doing good.
"The Village.
Vill--village" - Good job, Victor.
- Good.
- That was a hard one.
- Yeah.
- "Fog crept" - Hi.
Hey, guys.
"In and out of the empty huts.
It made shapes as it drifted" Drifted? "And they reminded me of all the people.
" Hey, Aida, listen, listen, listen, you're gonna have to take the bottle, sweetie, 'cause your mom's asleep and she's exhausted, all right? Can you meet me halfway here? All right, sweetie, you gotta try to take the bottle, okay? Hey, hey, hey, can you try? You--you're gonna-- come on.
Please? No, don't make that face.
Listen to me.
I know your mom's got boobs, and that's very, very awesome.
But I'm here for you too, all right? It's important to me that you know that.
I'm always gonna be here for you, okay? You understand that? You and me.
Gonna take this bottle? Please, please, please, please, please.
Yeah! That's a good girl.
Oh, good job, honey.
Oh, good job.
Oh, that's it.
Oh, good job, buddy.
Good job, little Aida.
Yeah, I'm here for you, buddy.
I'm always gonna be here, okay? Yeah.
This is the start of our act three.
So you're saying you want to sell our house.
I think we should talk about it.
I'm gonna run for mayor of Berkeley.
Nobody's ever even heard of Kristina.
She's never run for office.
It's not like she's running for the presidency.
I don't know how realistic it is.
- You got my back, right? - Right.
Wow! That's awesome! Stop staring at me like that.
- I literally cannot look away.
- Try.
This is the most fascinating contraption I have ever seen.
It's pneumatic and it's hydraulic.
There's fluid and air.
It's-- - it's really not that fascinating, okay? I feel like a big old cow.
A big, lactating, unsexy, sleep-deprived cow.
You know what? I haven't slept more than 20 minutes in a row since that thing came out of me.
She's gotta take this bottle.
I mean, seriously, I-I really need a break, or else I'm gonna die.
And then, at that point, my breasts will no longer be an option because I will be dead.
Okay, so you want me to hook-- I hook her to this? - No.
- Does it have, like, a reverse? It's got a reverse button? - No.
- Oh, I'm going here.
Okay.
- Just give her to me.
- You got more in there? It's not--yeah.
Come on, come on.
You look so beautiful right now.
You look very beautiful.
Shh Thanks for doing this at the last minute.
Oh, my pleasure.
You're literally, like, the only photographer available.
I mean, seriously, I must have called, like, 100 people before I found your web site.
That many, huh? Which I loved.
Your web site-- beautiful.
There's no people, though.
No, I'm trying to specialize in pho-dog-raphy,so - You're really good.
- Thank you.
- How 'bout this? - Okay.
- He has a great stomach.
- Cute.
Um Ready? One, two, three Yeah, you like that? Yes.
Just make sure you don't triple-check that list.
Okay.
Okay, at 3:00 you have a phoner with Kaitlin Lonner.
Take a look at these.
Kaitlin Lonner.
Yeah, she's a local blogger.
Site gets plenty of traffic, so it's good.
Put pens on the list too.
We need pens.
- Pens? I have pens.
- No, no, no, no.
Like campaign pens.
You know, people love free pens.
Such a good idea! When I go to the doctor's office, I'm like, "oh, there's the pen.
" It's easy to remember.
- You want a free pen, right? - Good morning, honey.
- Morning, honey.
How are you? - I'm good.
Coffee's over there.
Okay.
It's more convenient over here.
Is that the door? Okay, that's probably the short guy.
I'm gonna grab it, you guys do the hubby-wife thing.
Her ass is mine for the rest of the day, though.
- Okay.
Let's go.
- Wow.
She is so amazing.
I'm telling you, if Bob knew that she existed, he never would have hired me, ever.
Honey, you are an amazing campaign manager.
Oh, it was fine, but she is on fire.
Like, she's actually making me think that I can do this.
Like, I feel like a million bucks with her.
Seriously, there's no coffee? All right, so it wasn't the shirt guy, but our juice is here.
Good, we have extract juice, but no coffee.
I'll put it on the list.
The intern guy's gonna run out later and get it.
We have a meeting with the renewable energy people, and they like their kale liquefied.
Can I get your credit card, Kristina? Um Oh.
Give her your credit card.
- Mine's maxed out.
- That's not-- the delivery charge.
- No, no problem.
I had to get office supplies.
You know how-- - here you go, Heather.
- Thank you.
- All right.
Amazing how fast you run out of things.
There's your copy.
There's your credit card and your receipt.
Okay.
The tip is included.
I might need 20 bucks later too for gas, but Really? $250 for juice? Seriously? Yeah.
Amber, are you-- - ooh! Hi.
Hey.
Hi.
I'm very sorry.
No, don't.
It's fine.
Hang on.
Hi.
Come in.
Don't.
It's fine.
- I'll leave.
- Come in here.
Shh.
It's fine.
What's up? It's just my roommate- I have a class at 8:00, and my roommate locked me out.
He put the-- he put the lacrosse stick on the door.
- Uh - I'm sorry, what? I can't go in there.
I don't know-- - oh, like a tie, or whatever? - Yeah, it's-- - It's like a-- - you don't have a place to sleep? - Yeah.
No.
And then I'm-- - Drew.
- I can leave.
- That's--no.
Stay.
Just put your stuff down.
Stay here.
It's great.
Yeah, and I can go-- - Drew - Do you guys need something? - Don't go back out there.
- Yeah.
We don't really have anything for breakfast.
Honey-- we'll get breakfast tomorrow.
It's fine.
You can totally stay, man.
We have our whole lives If you need something for breakfast or whatever We have stuff.
It's fine.
Okay? All right.
- You want something to drink? - I'm sorry.
- You want something? - Sure.
Okay.
This is gonna be fun.
That's it.
Bring her back, my man.
Gently.
Bring her on back.
Come on.
That's it.
You got plenty of room.
Come on back.
Good, Billy! That's it.
What is this? - Huh? - This.
- This? - Yeah? This-- come here a minute.
This is a 1965 Pontiac gto convertible coupe.
Now, you gotta use your imagination, but underneath all this dust is a beautiful metallic teal paint job.
What's it doing in our driveway? Not "it.
" Not "it.
" "She.
" What's she doing here? Okay, Billy, I think we're good.
Let her down.
Let's unhook her.
Come on.
Anyway, I got her from Walter at the vet center.
You bought it? We own this? She.
We own her.
I mean, it was no big deal.
Don't think about the money.
Walter practically gave her away.
The only thing she needs is a brand new engine, and that's gonna be the fun part.
That's a year-long project.
No, six to eight months tops.
This is your answer, right? I say I want to talk about possibly selling the house, and you pull a year-long project into the driveway? Would you quit saying-- six to eight months.
Come on, give me some credit here, girl.
Hey, don't walk away from me.
- Okay, Billy, let's unhook her! - Jake.
Come on.
Isn't she a beauty? May God bless and keep you always and may your wishes all come true may you always do for others and let others do for you may you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung and may you stay for er young may you grow up to be righteous may you grow up to be true may you always know the truth and see the lights surrounding you may you always be courageous stand upright and be strong and may you stay forever young may you stay forever young Victor's reading skills are anywhere near - where they should be.
- Right.
I know he's a little bit behind, but he has, I mean, made leaps and bounds since he's lived with us.
I understand there are special circumstances, and that's why I wanted to speak with you both first before I make any sort of a recommendation.
Okay, what's happening here? Recommendation for what? From what I've seen, Victor might benefit from repeating the fourth grade.
You wanna-- you wanna hold him back? No, I don't want to do anything here, now, except open up a dialogue.
Generally speaking, we don't like to move children into a different classroom unless it's a last resort.
I mean, we read with him every night, but maybe we could read-- do a little more reading.
I don't know.
Um Julia's got some time off from work.
Maybe you could.
That would be wonderful.
I mean, I was gonna suggest a tutor, but that's even better.
I can give you some extra reading assignments and exercises.
Victor is really a very, very sweet boy.
Mmhmm.
I'd like to see a little more effort, but I think that'll come as he gains more confidence and-- - so what if he doesn't? What if he doesn't improve? Let's just take a breath Put these strategies in place.
We'll see if it works, and, um, then we'll worry about making any decisions.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
All right, good attitude, Adam.
Cut these costs.
- Hi.
- Yeah.
Can I work here? The wi-fi's out in my building.
Wow, you gotta get a new super.
I knew you were gonna say that.
Yeah, come on in.
What are you doing? I am working on Kristina's campaign budget.
Doesn't she have the woman that does that? Yeah, she's got a campaign manager, Heather.
But if I let her do this, we're gonna wind up in the hole for sure.
$600 for pens! Do we really need pens? I don't think so.
I love free pens.
Is that gonna make you vote for somebody? - Sure.
- We're gonna wind up bankrupt.
Look at this.
$900 for head shots.
Get a photographer to take one picture of Kristina for the lawn signs and all the other posters.
Um I'll do the head shots.
- Sarah, I mean - What? You've never worked with a human being? Not professionally.
Well, I need a professional.
This is a campaign I am a professional.
I just-- I don't feel good about working, you know, with family.
I don't think that's a good idea.
Is that why you went into business with your brother Crosby, and hired my daughter to work the front desk? All right, point taken.
Maybe you just feel good about working withthisfamily.
If I'm gonna be spending close to $1,000 on a photograph for a campaign-- You don't have to.
You know what? I'll do it for free.
- For free? As in no money? - Yes.
Yes.
I want the shot.
- Satisfaction guaranteed? - Of course.
We don't like it, we can go somewhere else? Deal.
- $100.
- $50.
- Fine.
- Okay, it's a deal.
I'm on it.
I'm totally on it.
Just you keep relaxing.
Thank you.
Come on.
Sweetie, sweetie.
It's breast milk.
You like breast milk.
I've seen you enjoying breast-- it's just breast milk.
You don't want it.
You don't want it.
Come on, you stubborn little stinker.
Hey, honey.
Hi.
You look very beautiful.
I look like I should be offering you peanuts and an in-flight magazine.
That is one sexy flight attendant right there.
Honey, a mayor's not supposed to look sexy.
They're supposed to look "mayoral," with maybe a hint of sexiness.
Well- - I feel like I need a whole new wardrobe, you know? Hey, uh, how would you feel about having Sarah do your campaign photo? - Your sister? - Yeah.
She said she'd do it for free.
But this photo has to be awesome.
We need a good professional image.
- Sarah will do a good job.
- Honey Check it out.
- Yep.
- Hot off the presses, okay? - We can do that.
We need a professional.
We don't need a professional photographer.
It's gonna cost $1,000.
We've already spent $5,000 on this campaign, and it's stressing me out.
Technically, this isn't really our money.
- Oh, it is our money.
- We're gonna get reimbursed.
Oh, it's our money.
I'm not suggesting that we stop spending money on your campaign.
I'm just saying slow down until we know that there are some donations coming in.
There are donations coming in, okay? - Tell you what.
- What? Can I just sit down with you just for a second? Look, I just want to show you a couple different ways we can trim the budget.
You went through my budget? Why did you-- I did.
For what? We're spending our money on the campaign right now-- - Adam, I know that we're spending our money right now, but we're gonna pay ourselves back.
I just want to pull back a little bit until we know that we have the donations coming in to cover these expenses, okay? The donations are coming in, and we're gonna raise enough money to cover all of our expenses.
Okay, just stop for one second, all right? No, you're pissing me off.
I'm sorry I'm making you mad.
This is a reality check.
I guess so it's You're a first-time candidate.
- Am I really? - You're late to the race.
- I didn't know that.
- And I want to make sure that we're gonna be able to come up with enough donations to cover these expenses.
You don't think that I know that Bob Little wants to see me, like, crash and burn, and that I'm a first-time political candidate, and this is gonna be a tough run for me? You don't think I know that, Adam? - Okay.
- No, hold on a second.
When you wanted to open up the luncheonette, I supported you 100%, and it was ten times crazier, and ten times more expensive than this.
It's worked out, okay? And by the way, at the time, you called me nuts.
I did call you nuts.
But I supported you.
And I'm supporting you.
I'm just trying to help out.
I've always supported you.
I just don't want to see us get into financial trouble here.
Kristina, that's all I'm doing.
You're not trusting me is what you're doing.
Thank you, budget boy.
"Budget boy.
" Great.
- I haven't slept.
- Oh.
I've just been thinking about this Victor situation.
Oh You know, Miss Mikindoe is right? His reading level is not up to a fifth grade reading level.
I mean, it's not even fourth grade reading level, if we're being honest with ourselves.
Which is why she wanted to have us in to talk about reading with him more.
But I've been reading with him constantly.
Okay, well, maybe I can come home from work a little early a couple nights a week.
And if I can't do that, then we'll find a tutor for him.
I don't know how much more we can do Really, that we haven't already done.
We have done it, and it hasn't worked.
And it's not gonna work in the time frame that we have.
I mean God, he's gonna be in the same grade as Sydney, and I don't even know how to begin to tackle that.
Jules, we're not even there yet.
Wehow close to there do we have to be? She said she wants to hold him back, basically-- that she was waiting because of, you know, his special circumstances, which is-- ehh, I hate that.
- Okay.
Just let's Deep breaths here.
Were we even in the same conversation? You know what I heard? I heard a teacher telling us that we got a good kid.
Can we take our finger off the nuclear launch button? I'm not going nuclear.
I'm Going a little Nuclear.
Going a little nuclear.
- That's okay.
- But-- - it's a tough conversation to have, but that's all it was-- a conversation.
It was a conversation about holding our kid back a year.
- Can I just get coffee? - Yeah.
All right.
Hey, berto.
Nice robe, roommate.
Hey, so I might need some private time again tonight.
It's not 100% yet, but I got a strong feeling.
Okay, um, actually, I have a cla-- Hey, Natalie.
Oh, uh, hi Guy from across the-- Drew.
Right.
- Yeah.
Hey.
- Hey.
We have the same shower caddy.
Look at that.
Yeah.
Crazy small world.
Yeah.
Um The line, it's-- is a--just wait until the line's kinda - Nice work, dude.
- See ya.
Hank, can I borrow the flag stand? You're not really asking 'cause it's already in the cart, right? So Hank, can I borrow the flag stand that I already have in the cart? Yes.
But if one of your dog clients does something on it, I'm gonna want a new one.
Thank you for asking.
Uh, my client tomorrow is not a dog.
It is a real live human being.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
Is it against their will, or-- - that's very funny.
In fact, my client is very prestigious.
It's a mayoral candidate.
- Oh, yeah, I got it.
- Yeah.
Your sister-in-law, right? Yeah, running for mayor.
So? Don't say it like that, like that's not a real job.
It's a real job.
She's still running for mayor.
I'm excited.
You could be excited for me.
- I am.
It's exciting.
- Thanks.
You what would be exciting? Make some money, and maybe you buy some equipment.
Oh, look at this.
The representative of my famous client.
Hi, Adam.
Your sister-in-law, you mean.
Yeah.
Oh.
Really? No, I do get it.
Thank you.
I'll talk to you about it later.
No, thanks for calling.
Okay, bye.
Um, Kristina decided she wants somebody with more experience.
Get the next one, then.
All right? Yeah.
You know, I've been passed over so many times on jobs, it's really no big deal.
Yeah, but you get passed over because you have a weird personality.
But That's totally not true.
Anyway, this is my family, and they're just not even taking me seriously.
Why would they? Really.
No, I mean--I mean-- No, no.
Just don't sugarcoat it.
No, no, no.
Look, when I met you, you were a playwright Something, and then a A Graphic-- you did stuff with-- - Graphic designer.
- Yeah, you were that too.
- I did that a long time ago.
But you were Flighty.
They don't take you seriously because they know you.
So that's not an insult.
I'm just saying strangers don't know you.
No, I'm serious.
I know.
Working with family is-- is hell.
Strangers don't know who you are.
You got a clean Slate.
Well, you know me.
Do you take me seriously? Oh Okay.
- Okay what? Let me answer.
- No, you paused.
The pause says it all.
I pause on everything.
No, no.
Not that kind.
- I got a-- I got a stronger - Don't try to fix it.
I've gotta go.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
What? You get a little flighty with-- - I'm not getting flighty.
I'm exiting.
I'm leaving.
You know, sometimes you pause for effect.
I'll just talk to you later.
This is flighty, what you're doing right now.
Hmm.
If I choose my state project on Hawaii, does that mean we could take a trip there? Victor, you know what? States are not assigned for another month or so, so let's just focus on the work you have now.
Like the readings we were doing.
We got through two chapters of island of the blue dolph last night.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
Were you guys trading off reading, or just dad? Dad read.
- Victor followed along, though.
- Okay.
How do you like the book? Well, what was it about? It's Victor, you read two chapters? You ought to be able to tell me what it's about.
It was about, like, otters, and dumb stuff like that.
Okay, what about the main character? Okay, it's time to brush teeth.
You guys, I'm driving you today, so get going.
Oh.
- Come on.
- Hmm.
Hello? - Oh, hey.
- Hi.
- How are you? - How you doing, stranger? - Do you have a minute? - Of course I do.
- I'm sure you're really busy.
- I am a little-- - wow.
- Just getting things underway.
It's crazy, right? That's amazing.
It looks incredible.
It's so fun.
- Yeah.
- I just got the balloons done.
- Great.
- And the campaign signs.
So everything's coming together.
Kristina, I believe in you.
And while I know that you haven't chosen me as your photographer yet, I also know that you haven't seen some of my most recent work, and I thought maybe if you saw it, you'd change your mind.
I would love to see your-- yeah, of course.
Now, this is waffles, but what I want you to see is just his eyes, and the warmth - Yeah.
- And intelligence - Seems like a nice dog.
- In his eyes.
This cat was cross-eyed, so it's not the best example.
Again, it's just capturing personality.
What I know I can do better than a stranger is capture you.
- Sarah, listen - What's strong and beautiful - I love how passionate you are.
- And smart about you.
And I can get that.
Thank you.
I love how passionate you are, but I-- I have to have-- I just need a profess-- - I understand.
I need someone that has done it so many times before.
Or do you need someone who knows you so well that they can bring out what's beautiful and strong and smart about you? I would argue I'm that person.
I know I don't have a lot of experience, but-- - this has to be my one shot.
I get one shot at this photo.
I have to bring it to the printers by the end of the week.
This is an important shot for me too.
To tell you the truth, not a lot of people think I'm gonna win.
Well, I'm not one of those people.
Thank you.
Um Okay.
- Okay? - Okay.
- Why not? - Thank you so much.
You won't regret it.
I swear, you won't regret it.
I wouldn't do this if I didn't think I could do it 100%, okay? Let's do it.
Let's do it.
- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
This is gonna be great.
Julia.
Julia? - Hey.
- Hi.
How you doing? Took a little trip there, huh? Yeah.
I'm sorry, I'm a little out of it.
- Yeah.
- Oh - All right, I'm just gonna-- - Uh, no, no, no.
I'm sorry.
I'm fine.
I mean, I'm not fine, but you don't have to go.
Well, I'm assuming you weren't in Bora Bora just now, huh? Victor's teacher is talking to us about holding him back.
But you don't know that.
I didn't say that.
Please, just keep that to yourself.
Yeah.
No, I'm-- I'm sorry.
I would not say anything at all.
Mmm.
That's-- that's rough.
Well, that's where I was going.
I mean, playing out the scenarios.
Keep him in fifth grade, do I put him back in fourth grade? Do I home school him? I mean, I don't know.
So it's not, like, definitely happening? No.
She just wanted to open the conversation.
- Oh.
- So we're still waiting to see.
God, I hate it when schools say crap like that because it's--you either do it or don't do it.
But every second that you keep waiting, the poor kid is getting more settled in the fifth grade.
It's stupid.
Wow, that is so not my place to say.
No, no.
You're absolutely right.
Huh.
Dick Cheney failed out of Yale Twice.
Not really sure where you put that on your pro/con list, though.
Exactly.
What makes you think I have a pro/con list? Oh, come on.
You're a former lawyer.
Dengraff and Prossler? You've totally got a pro/con list.
I've totally got a pro/con list.
Yes, you do.
All right, pro/con list thing? - Yes.
- Okay, let's go.
Cons.
Cons.
Berto, hey.
- What's up, dude? - Do you have a minute? - What's up, bro? - Um I thought maybe we should talk about the, um-- are those my sheets? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I was out, and yours were there.
Why? Are you not cool with that? No.
No, I'm not.
And also, you know, putting the stick on the door, I--I keep getting locked out.
I have an 8:00 A.
M.
class.
I can't-- Dude, that's rough.
Can I give you some advice? Next time this happens, go out and knock on a girl's door.
Like that girl from the bathroom that you're so hot for.
What, Natalie? Go up to her door and be all, like, "my jackass roommate just sexisled me.
" And then she'll be all, like, "aww, you poor thing.
Come in here so I can comfort you.
" Yeah, that's not-- it's not a bad idea.
Hopefully, it won't happen again, do you know? - Bro - What? Good talk, dude.
Pbbbt.
I don't know, to me, it's just really strange.
It's--I don't like it.
Well, it's unconventional, but the lactation consultant said the babies respond to the natural nipple feel, you know? Maybe not even-- Have you tried all this stuff? Dad, I'm willing to try anything.
We are so desperate at this point.
The baby will not stop crying unless she's breastfeeding and I don't know how much more Jasmine can take.
She needs a break, and the baby will not take a bottle from me.
Well, sometimes they don't want the dad.
You know, it's that simple.
The whole thing is not what I thought it was gonna be.
I mean, I know Jabbar was five years old when I met him, and I can't really compare the two situations, but it just felt a lot easier.
There was a, you know, an instinct connection with him the moment I saw him, and Girls are complicated.
You know, they're different.
I mean, boys are-- are simpler.
You know, a boy's got a problem, you take him to a ball game, you get him a hotdog-- they're copasetic.
They're--they're good to go, and, I mean Girls are--you gotta walk around on eggshells with 'em.
I don't know, one day you're the king of the castle-- you know, they're just in love with you.
You're their daddy.
And then the next thing you know, they don't know who you are.
It's like they're-- they hate you.
I didn't realize it was gonna be this hard.
Yeah, it's difficult.
But that's what-- that's what makes it good at the end, you know? I mean, it changes.
I don't know.
What's mom think of this car? Oh, she loves it.
- Does she? - Ooh Loves it.
There.
And Okay.
- Got it? - Yeah.
Really good.
- You need to turn that down.
- No, no, it's okay.
No, it has to be-- it has to be a more precise shot with the camera so far away.
Max, enough.
You said you wanted to help.
You aren't helping.
She's not gonna be too pale when it happens.
She looks very pale.
I am a little pale.
So let's just do a couple of-- We'll just do a couple test shots, guys.
Line up your nose with your belly button.
Let's see your posture.
Warm and happy.
Keep her strong.
You know? Maternal still.
Hey, baby! - Oh, wait.
No, no, no.
- Hey, there she is.
Want to take a picture? Okay, we're wasting time.
That's too maternal.
Come on.
Should I sit? I'm sweating.
Everyone just pipe down.
She looks like she's in pain.
Definitely delete the last one.
Aunt Sarah-- yeah, I thought so.
This is-- we're gonna get killed-- - you've got a good eye.
- Okay.
No, you're not doing this Damn it.
Damn it! - It's lavender mint.
- Oh, thank you, Millie.
I thought it was about time you'd want to stop for the night.
No--oh, God.
No, I'm kind of on a roll here, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, well, it's getting pretty late.
Yeah, I know.
Why don't you go ahead and go up to bed without me, and I'll be there in a few minutes.
You can't keep doing this.
No, it's just a few more minutes.
You can't keep avoiding this.
Well, Millie, I tell you what.
Now, if I stop now, I'm gonna have parts all over the place, and it's gonna be one hell of a big mess.
Okay, fine.
We'll talk while you work.
Okay, clue me in here.
Exactly what are we supposed to be talking about? You know what we're supposed to be talking about.
I tried to have a discussion with you about the possibility of selling the house, and you walked away from me.
Okay.
All right.
So what is there to talk about? Why don't we start with your feelings? I mean, what do you feel? You know, what are you thinking? I don't want to sell the house.
End of discussion.
So why bother to have a conversation? Okay, you may or may not want to sell the house, and in the end, maybe I won't want to sell the house either.
But we're gonna have a discussion about it! I deserve that much.
Hey.
Sorry.
Can I come in? - Hey, we're closed.
- I know.
- I just thought that-- - What's going on? The shoot was terrible, and, um, I was very nervous, and Kristina was nervous, and Max was the only one who seemed to know what he was doing, which made me even more nervous.
And her campaign manager wanted her to be maternal and powerful.
And I don't know what that means.
Well, you shouldn't.
I don't know what that means either, it's stupid.
Can you just tell me if I'm any good? Please.
Mmhmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mmm That's the shot right there.
I mean, the other ones are Decent.
Some of 'em are okay.
Some are better than others.
But that's your shot.
Okay.
I mean, you know, I don't know what I would have done Different, but Everybody has their own style.
That's a really good shot.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
It's good.
Thanks.
I tried to talk to him again.
He told me we had a nice talk and called me "bro.
" And no, the stick has been on the door for three hours.
- Again? - Three hours? Yes, three hours.
Also, he took my sheets.
Your personal sheets? - Which ones? Not the gray ones? - The sheets you got me.
Yes.
- The gray sheets? - I swear.
Yes.
- Oh, my God.
That's no joke.
- I know.
- Those were expensive.
- That's what I'm trying to say.
I'm gonna call him.
I know you're embarrassed.
I'm like a mom, but I'm gonna call him.
Well, you don't have his number, so ha ha.
I'm just saying you can't talk to people like this.
You have to go and confront them.
We're definitely not going down there-- - let's go down there.
Got this guy on our side.
We're just gonna talk to him.
We're just gonna talk to him.
- What, like scare him? - No.
No.
We're gonna be nice.
Yeah, nice.
We're gonna reason with the guy.
- Let's go get him.
Come on.
- Cool? What the hell? Oh, my God, what are you doing? There's a roommate issue that needs to be resolved, and it doesn't concern you-- I think you should leave.
I apologize.
No, no, no, not with this.
I'm so sorry, I can't-- Sorry.
Dude, what the hell do you think you're doing? "Dude" is not his name.
It's Drew.
Not "dude," not "bro.
" Drew.
Say it.
Let's practice.
Drew.
- Drew.
- Say it! - Drew.
- That sounded good.
Dude, I don't know who you think you are-- - no, no, no, dude's not my name either.
Sergeant York is fine.
He's in the army.
And if Drew has a problem with you, you have a problem with me.
You got it? Got it.
Great.
You know, quit locking me out.
And we also talked about the line.
Keep your stuff on that side.
Oh, I have something.
Um, the sheets thing, it just can't happen because it seems like not a big deal, but actually, even if you dry clean it, the smell is-- - yes, and the sheets-- don't touch his sheets.
Don't touch anything of his without asking from now on, okay? Okay.
Great.
See ya.
Nice to meet you.
Um Good talk, bro.
Okay, the runts are asleep, Victor's homework is done, so let's talk.
Okay.
I think you nailed it when you said it's not gonna fix itself overnight.
Good, so we agree.
It's not gonna fix itself in the next two or three weeks either.
- Yeah.
- So the longer he stays there, the harder it is for him to start over.
And I think we just need to do it.
We need to rip off the band-aid.
You're-- you want to hold him back? - Yeah.
Now? Without even trying? We've been trying.
I tutored him every day this whole summer while you were at work.
What's that supposed to mean? It doesn't mean anything.
It means that I know where he's at on this.
I know what I'm seeing.
So do I.
Not the way that I do.
- Don't pull rank with me.
- I'm not pulling-- - I never did that with you when you were working.
It's not fair.
I'm sure you saw plenty that I didn't see while I was working.
And you made decisions without even consulting me.
Yeah, pb & j or tuna fish? Ballet or karate? Nothing like this.
Nothing like this ever came up.
Well, this has come up now, and I think we need to hold him back.
And I disagree.
I see a kid who's trying, who's making huge strides.
If we pull him back now, his-- I mean, it will just absolutely shred his self-confidence.
No, what's gonna shred his self-confidence is keeping him in a class where he can't keep up.
There are studies on this.
Ed was telling me that he read a study about-- Ed? Who the hell is Ed? Ed is a parent from the sustainability committee.
- Ed Brooks? - Yeah.
You talked to Ed Brooks about this? Fantastic.
Well, we might as well go and just talk to Victor now and tell him, because the whole school's gonna know about this in the morning.
He's not gonna tell anyone.
Oh, Ed won't, no.
But his wife probably will.
She happens to be the biggest blabbermouth on the PTA.
Listen, relax, she's not even around the school anymore.
Ed hardly sees her.
She's not gonna-- - what else are you and Ed talking about? He just caught me in a bad moment.
I was upset, and so I kind of-- Yeah.
Anyway, let's stay on topic here.
Yeah, let's stay on topic.
What about what happened at breakfast this morning? What about this morning at breakfast? You laying into our son about the stupid book, Julia.
You needle him like that, he's gonna know that something is up.
Something is up.
This is ridiculous.
Are you ending this conversation that we've waited all day to have? What else is there to say? There-- We need to set up a meeting with his teacher, and with the principal, and we need to discuss getting him back into fourth grade as soon as possible.
That's what there is to discuss.
No.
No.
We're not doing that.
We made a plan with his teacher that we were gonna find him tutoring, we were gonna take a month, and then we would reevaluate.
And that's what we're gonna do.
You don't like it Talk to Ed.
I'm going for a walk.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Wow.
I mean, that is one awesome campaign photo right there.
- Yes.
- Right? Your sister really came through.
I think it's great.
I think she did a really good job.
It's strong, it's-- - that is--that is professional quality right there.
Mmhmm.
She's gonna expect to get paid next time.
More than 50 bucks.
You made the deal.
- Pretty slick deal I made - Yeah, it's good.
She deserves every penny.
I just-- it's so weird, isn't it? - What? - The picture.
I mean, just to look at it, it's like I'm Not used to seeing myself with hair.
- Right.
- You know? I catch myself, you know Walking past a mirror or something, and I still half-expect me to be bald, you know? I think, "there goes bald Kristina.
" Cancer Kristina.
Uhhuh.
I feel like I kicked cancer in its teeth.
I feel like kind of a badass, you know? You did kick cancer in its teeth.
You are a badass.
- We're lucky.
- We are.
- We're very lucky.
- Mm-hmm.
I don't know, I feel like lately I've just had this.
"I defeated cancer" attitude.
I can do anything and conquer the world - You can do anything.
- And I feel like-- I feel like I got ahead of myself with this campaign, you know? - Uh-huh.
- I feel like we need to Just to pull back a little, maybe talk to Heather about, you know, not spending as much just until I can make some money.
Fundraising and Just to see where we stand.
Kristina, you know, after giving that little speech, I don't have any choice but to reach in my wallet and hand over my credit card.
Okay, well, that was not my intention.
I'm not trying to get sympathy.
I'm-I'm just-- I know.
And you know I have mixed feelings about the campaign.
I know that you do.
So where does that leave us? Well, it leaves me with no choice.
Take it.
Just take it.
- I can't.
- Take it.
- Can't do it.
- Just take it.
Take the other one.
Oh, God! - Take it.
Just - It's better than sex.
Take the whole thing.
Thank you for believing in me.
I love you.
I love you.
- No more green juice.
- I can get red juice.
Hey.
You remember when Adam and Crosby hung the welcome home sign from the tree there when we brought Julia home from the hospital? And Sarah She had her first play in the barn.
Remember Crosby's punk rock band? Were they bad or what? I mean, practicing all night long, huh? Sarah, when she was a little girl, she ran away from home, she hides in the guest house Tells us she never wants to see us again.
- Zeek - And Julia, I mean Wasn't it yesterday she stood there and told us she got into Stanford? And Crosby got married down there where I strung up all those fourth of July lights.
I mean, how many millions of years ago was that? Everything I want is right here, Millie.
This is it.
This is This is my third act with you.
I want more.
I want us to do wonderful things together.
Like I can picture us bragging about our grandchildren as we're boating down the Seine.
I don't know, you know, I-- I've been painting this yard for 20 years now.
Kinda like to paint something else.
Think how many things we could do.
How many things we could afford to do if we sold the house.
All the places we could see.
I don't know.
I've seen other places I didn't really care for 'em.
Well, I haven't.
I was so young when we got married.
I was practically a baby myself when Adam was born.
I'm not complaining.
You know that.
It's been a good life.
It's been a beautiful life.
I've loved every minute of it.
But I'm ready for the next step.
Hey.
Hey.
I need the room, bro.
You got it, Drew.
- Yeah.
That was my roommate.
- Yeah.
This is pretty much it.
- Scrabble.
- Oh, yeah.
My mom packed that for me.
- No, I love scrabble.
- Yeah? Yeah.
Do you know how to play? Yeah.
- Yeah? - I love scrabble too.
Who doesn't? - It's like seven-- - Yeah, seven.
Okay, cool.
"The Vill" I don't know this one.
Sound it out.
Doing good.
"The Village.
Vill--village" - Good job, Victor.
- Good.
- That was a hard one.
- Yeah.
- "Fog crept" - Hi.
Hey, guys.
"In and out of the empty huts.
It made shapes as it drifted" Drifted? "And they reminded me of all the people.
" Hey, Aida, listen, listen, listen, you're gonna have to take the bottle, sweetie, 'cause your mom's asleep and she's exhausted, all right? Can you meet me halfway here? All right, sweetie, you gotta try to take the bottle, okay? Hey, hey, hey, can you try? You--you're gonna-- come on.
Please? No, don't make that face.
Listen to me.
I know your mom's got boobs, and that's very, very awesome.
But I'm here for you too, all right? It's important to me that you know that.
I'm always gonna be here for you, okay? You understand that? You and me.
Gonna take this bottle? Please, please, please, please, please.
Yeah! That's a good girl.
Oh, good job, honey.
Oh, good job.
Oh, that's it.
Oh, good job, buddy.
Good job, little Aida.
Yeah, I'm here for you, buddy.
I'm always gonna be here, okay? Yeah.