Phineas and Ferb s05e03 Episode Script

1 "Cheers for Fears" I'm totally sunk, Stace.
I've been working on Jeremy's birthday present for months, but it's not even close to being as good as I want it to be.
Ugh.
Lame.
Oh, come on, Candace.
You're overthinking this.
Jeremy will love anything you make.
What's your worry? I just wanna do something really special to show Jeremy how much I care.
Something way over the top! Something that defies the laws of physics and exceeds the boundaries of the imagination Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
- No, no, no, no, no.
Anything but that! - You're going to have to ask for help from - Phineas and Ferb.
Ohh.
Well, now that we've ironed out the bugs in our fusion-powered popper, the popcorn is nice and fluffy.
And no longer glowing, so we're good to go.
What's that, Candace? Let me talk to her, guys.
I speak "sullen.
" Candace messed up, and now Jeremy's birthday is ruined.
Hey! You completely misinterpreted what I said! - Nuance.
- So, what's going on, Candace? It's Jeremy's birthday and I wanna do mething really special to show I care and you guys are good at doing, you know, what you do, and well, all I have is this scrapbook and I don't wanna blow it.
So, can you help me, huh? Wow! This is great! It's like a blueprint! Ferb, I know what else we're gonna do today! Great! Start working your magic.
And no pressure, but it's gotta be perfect! We'll do our best.
- Thank you.
- Oh.
She said, "Where's Perry?" You have got to work on your sullen.
Hey there, Agent P.
Well, it's horrific movie night at my house, where a bunch of agency guys get together and make fun of ridiculously bad movies.
He's always the guy shushing everybody.
Well, there's a time for fun and a time to pay attention.
Anyway, Agent P, when we went to rent tonight's horrific horror classic, "Night of the Living Torso," it was already gone.
In fact, all the movies within the horror genre throughout Danville have been checked out! Which is definitely a bummer and could possibly be evil.
Go check on Doof and see if he's bogarting those movies.
Uh, before 6:30, if possible.
- Candace, I'm headed out.
- Okay, Mom.
- What's with the box? - Oh, uh, nothing.
I just wanted to see what this stuff looked like outside.
Candace, is this a ploy to get me to go outside - to see what the boys are up to? - No! Er, I mean, no need.
Just go, and, uh, feel free to stay out for a while.
Stay out all afternoon in fact.
Reverse psychology.
Nice try, hon.
I'm glad to see you changing it up.
- See you later.
- Okay, bye.
So, here's all the Jerem-obilia I could find.
- Now, what? - Cool.
Now, just go around town and take pictures of all the Jeremy related places and things you can.
The camera will transmit them back to us to incorporate into our Mega Interactive Scrapbook-aganza.
No problemo.
Candace is on field duty.
Peace! I'm sorry.
Were you going to say something? Okay.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Ugh.
Isn't that always the way? Right at the exciting part, that's when the doorbell rings.
Or, you know, a platypus breaks it down.
Anyway, behold the Worst Fear-inator! What? Oh, yeah, I guess from your point of view it's a little difficult to see.
Let me just get this out of the way for you.
Here we go.
Now, in my never-ending pursuit of domination, I discovered that the best evil rulers used fear to keep people in line.
So to get in the right headspace, I did what any logical evil scientist would do.
Rented all the scary movies in Danville for research, even the lousy ones like "Dead Batteries.
" Which is actually better than its prequel, "Batteries that Work," which was just a bunch of portable electronic devices functioning properly.
Once I was terrified, I was able to analyze the fear-based synapses of the brain and extrapolate some wonderful data.
Basically, I shoot someone with the machine and whatever they're afraid of actually appears in real life! What do ya say, Perry the Platypus? You like being a guinea pig? Actually, you'd look kinda cute as a guinea pig.
I wonder if you'd be teal.
I bet you would.
I bet you'd be a cute little teal guinea pig.
Something to think about for the future.
Anyway, Perry the Platypus, let's fire this baby up and see what scares you.
Because you know, it's going to materialize right over there.
All right, so what are you afraid of? Where is it? What the hey! Nothing? Ugh, that figures.
I guess you'll just have to hang around! Oh, wait, this one's better.
I'll just leave you here because you're all tied up! One last one.
You're gonna love it.
See you later, because it isn't my tail that's upside down! No? No, no, I should've stuck with the first two.
You're right.
Ooh, score! That awning is the same color as Jeremy's eyes.
And daffodils! Just like the ones he gave me on our third date! Incoming.
Perfect.
Same color as Jeremy's eyes.
Huh, flower.
I'm drawing a blank.
Daffodil.
Third date.
Right.
Now the machine will take the images and print them in a giant, scaled-up form.
Nice touch.
Smells like my Grandma.
I thought your grandma smelled like ant pheromones.
No, that's the other one.
These should really make Jeremy's Birthday Scrapbook-aganza - a full sensory experience! - Great.
Just what I always wanted.
To fully sense Jeremy.
Okay, what else? Ah! - 'Scuse.
Hot cocoa.
- Hey! Not bad.
Although Jeremy prefers it with a little more cinnamon.
I gotta make a note of that for the boys.
I guess my fortune came true.
"You will share your cocoa with a long-necked teenager.
" - See? Right there.
- Mine just says: "Your boyfriend's gonna get a fortune cookie at a French cafe.
" Get ready, Perry the Platypus! The Tri-State Area's about to confront its fears! Ow! Ow! I landed on my jawbone! Right on that weird sticky-outy part under your ear.
And my jawbone landed on the remote.
Oh, Doof.
Okay.
Nothing bad will happen as long as I don't think about anything scary.
I Oh, no! I couldn't help it.
It just popped in there.
It can't be.
Vending machines are taking over! I said it could happen! No, stay back, stay back.
No, no, no, no, I'm really not hungry.
Really No, no, no, not the tiny vanilla cookies! How long have those been in there? Okay, Candace.
The Scrapbook-aganza is complete! Plus, we got Love Handel to come in for a live soundtrack.
Okay, guys.
Performance level.
I'm gonna need a test run so I can make notes.
- Sure! You're the boss.
- That's right.
The way you play guitar That crazy octave reach Your uncle's meatball sub We must have eaten two each Here's where you ate that soup And got that stomach flu Your blue eyes Make me melt with a wink You're always so polite You never say when I stink It's a giant 3D scrapbook And it's all about you I know that I can be high-strung Enough to make a lot of boyfriends flee But you're still here with me now Let's make some more memories Let's make some more memories You had hunky ankles in that sandal commercial The time you saved that tree It was so controversial It's a giant 3D scrapbook It's a giant 3D scrapbook It's a giant 3D scrapbook And it's all about you And it's all about you That sounded great, guys, but it's a B-natural in the chorus.
- Told ya.
- That's what I was playing.
No! No! Not that! Anything but the fake red licorice! It tastes like What possessed me to make such a horrifying inator? Well, I guess now we know what scares vending machines.
Well, Candace? Do you think Jeremy will like it? Yeah, I just have a few notes here.
It's perfect! I love it, guys! - I love it, love it, love it, I love it - She had me at smiley face.
Perry the Platypus! You're back! I am never setting that puppy off again.
Oops! It's really perfect.
I'm glad Mom's gone for the day, 'cause my biggest fear is that this is just gonna fly away before Jeremy gets here.
And there he is.
Whoo-hoo! Uh, did anyone else see that weird green beam? I wasn't gonna mention it.
Jeremy! Jeremy! Jeremy! Jeremy! Jeremy! Jeremy! You gotta see what the boys built in the backyard.
No, no, no! No! No! It's gone! My worst fear has come true.
I totally blew it.
Let me guess.
You had your brothers build me something super cool for my birthday and now it disappeared.
It's okay, I get it.
We don't have the invention anymore, but here's what we used as a blueprint.
Candace designed it herself.
It's a regular-sized scrapbook And it's all about you And it's all about you Oops! I really meant to hit the self-destruct button.
I'll just get this for you.
Uh, so, uh, do you need your parking validated Oh, oh, you found a spot on the street! Ah, lucky you.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus and all that.
You know.
Isabella, you've been awfully quiet all day.
I have just earned my 24 hours of silence patch.
I can see why you don't talk much, Ferb.
I actually quite enjoyed it.
I ended up having an inner dialogue with myself all day.
Welcome to Ferb Land.
Yes, but the universe is constantly expanding.
Then, what is it expanding into? Ooh! Okay, now my mind is blown.
The way you play guitar That crazy octave reach Your uncle's meatball sub We must have eaten two each Here's where you ate that soup And got that stomach flu Your blue eyes Make me melt with a wink You're always so polite You never say when I stink It's a giant 3D scrapbook And it's all about you And it's all about you