Search Party (2016) s05e03 Episode Script

Kings

1 I feel like I'm in the dark, like with no light in sight.
Life is not turning out the way it was promised.
[SIGHS.]
I just feel like the whole world is against me.
And like, everything that I try to do just gets like chomped, chewed and like pooped out right before my eyes.
And here's the question I always ask you, whose fault do you think that is? And here's the answer I always give you Not mine.
You know, I feel like I've stopped trusting the world to the point that I don't even know what's true anymore.
And I can't help but feeling like there's big forces against me at play and I'm being sabotaged.
Otherwise it would mean that things are my fault, - and that just can't be true! - Okay.
That's enough for you.
Leave your cash in the basket.
Don't let my next client see you on the way out.
Hi.
Hot dog, no bun, just relish, cup style.
What's cup style? In a cup.
Quick, I just had therapy.
- [THROUGH A MEGAPHONE.]
- An entire airplane carrying a major national football team disappears on a domestic flight on the same day that Jay Harry Swanson becomes the new director of the CIA.
And not a single email is sent about this change of hands.
You ever got a new boss without even a heads up? I didn't think so.
Makes you wanna clench your asshole so tight it ruptures like hell.
- [SOFTLY.]
Crazy.
- These people know your name.
They know how you like to scratch your legs.
They even know the Rolodex of attractive people you keep in your head when you go to pleasure yourself.
- God - [LAUGHS.]
what is with her? You're just sandwiches to them.
That's right.
I'm talking to you and you and you and you and you.
I can tell you don't trust the world, and you know everyone's against you, mocking your dumb as shit life.
- [HUFFS, SNICKERS.]
- Well, there's a reason why you feel freaky deaky all the time.
It's because you're being hunted.
Well, welcome to the jungle, baby.
You are nothing but prey here.
[ECHOING.]
Prey here here here Oh, but dear, the sky is lower What's up big dogs? Slurping on some caffeine soup? - Oh, you know it, bro.
- Living the dream, taking people's homes away, and getting rich quick.
- That's what's up.
- That's what's up.
That's what's up, that's what's up.
- Hi.
- Uh Hi.
Um What are you doing here? I got the sense yesterday that you still have some bitter feelings toward me, so I wanted to come by and say I'm sorry.
Okay.
I saw this this app you're building.
Hmm.
Is this really the kind of work you wanna be doing? Yeah, well, it's kinda where the world's headed, so, yeah, it is.
Mm.
I know about you and Portia.
And if she makes you happy, then I think that's great, because I want you to be happy.
Well, you know, she doesn't make me kill people, so I know I deserve that, But I also know how much we care about each other.
I love you and you love me.
And that's why you're angry still, because still have feelings for me.
Okay.
If you don't leave, I'm gonna call security.
[CHUCKLING.]
Okay.
[CHUCKLING.]
[BIRDS TWITTERING, INSECTS BUZZING.]
Hello.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
Ah [TWIG SNAPS.]
Oh, I got you.
I got you now you beautiful bastard.
[INHALES.]
[PHONE CHIMES.]
No, no.
I had him.
I had him.
[CONTINUES CHIMING.]
Ahh end.
Hello? What? Dory Sief is arriving, Mr.
Quinn.
Oh.
Uh, thank you.
I can't believe we're at Tunnel Industries, El.
This is crazy.
What do you think he's gonna be like? Oh, I mean, we're not gonna meet the Tunnel Quinn.
They'll just send some nerd who works for him.
Right, right, right, right, right.
Oh my God, is that Drew with Dory? - [GASPS.]
They're fucking.
- What? - They're absolutely fucking.
- How do you know that? I know on some level they're fucking.
- Hi, you two.
- BOTH: Hi.
Wow, right? - Oh, isn't this exciting? - It's so amazing.
- It's so good.
- I love your glasses.
- You like my outfit? - Yeah.
Amazing.
- Hi.
How are you? - Hey.
I'm so happy you guys joined me, you know? I don't really know what to expect, so it means a lot to have you guys by my side.
You know, I gotta say now that someone very famous has acknowledge you, Dory, I do feel bad for calling you crazy and committing you to a mental institution.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Same.
Ha ha.
My best friends.
- [GASPS.]
- Welcome to you all.
Look at you.
Welcome to my, uh, my playland.
Do you like it? You feeling somewhat inspired? - Oh my God.
- Yes.
- It's actually him.
- It's actually him.
Okay.
Come, follow me.
This way, it's right up the stairs.
You are a genius.
Can I tell you that? I'm sure, but so while I got you here, I gotta get your perspective on something top secret that I'm working on.
In fact, I wanna get it from all of you.
- Hmm.
- What is it? It is groundbreaking.
Um literally.
Because I'm digging a hole [SOFTLY.]
to the center of the earth, and I'm taking you there.
- What? - Uh-huh, uh-huh! - Uh-huh! - Come on! Uh-huh, uh-huh! Hello.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- [CHUCKLING.]
Yeah, she's too rough with me.
Very good.
Thank you, everybody.
- Thank you so much.
- Cool.
So this is the elevator that takes us to like the floor with pictures of the earth's core right? Or like where where Like, wh-where exactly is it that we're going? No, no, we're going to the center of the earth, like I said.
- Really? - Yep.
- I'll try anything once.
- Good.
I'm confused.
Wouldn't we need like training for that? Training? What kind of training would that entail? - I'm sorry, this is too tight.
- I can't get out of it, and I really don't like things touching my necklace bones.
So yeah, I just don't think I wanna do this.
That makes sense, 'cause this is very unnatural.
Here, chew on this, if you will.
- Take one, pass one down.
- Okay.
This is gonna raise your blood pressure and keep you from getting dizzy.
But don't swallow it.
It takes seven years for gum to digest.
Ooh! We're sealed in now.
Initiating in three, two, one.
- [CLANKING.]
- Oh God.
Ohh.
Oh my God.
How many, um, feet are we going? 3,558 miles, which I know is disappointing, but we're not yet able to get to that final 400 miles of core core.
- Uh, we would die so - How long is this gonna take? Oh, this is gonna take about nine hours.
Oh, oh, I should have told you to pee.
Well, you're gonna pee anyway, so - No! - No, no, no.
I can't, I can't.
I can't, I can't.
I mean, this is insane.
I have to get off of the elevator.
- It's okay.
- Just keep chewing.
Chew, chew, chew, chewing the gum.
It's good.
Hey, you know how lucky you are? So few people have ever gotten a chance to do this, and trust me, you're gonna be so amazed at some of the insane s-h-i-tut that you're about to see.
It's gonna get real cool, guys.
Oh my God, no! Hey, Aspen, sweetie, I'm gonna go for a run.
You're okay to be here on your own, right? - All right.
- Have a wonderful run, Fathers.
- Oh, it's just me.
- Your other father didn't come home last night.
He is working on hurting me.
Hey Kikei, do you mind keeping an eye on my child while I'm out? He's a hoot.
Okay, Mr.
Marc.
I'm not putting in chlorine this week, just lavender, because the chlorine, it gets in the skin and it's really bad.
Oh, smart.
Love the puka shells by the way.
Thank you, Mr.
Marc.
Okay.
Bye, sweetie.
[UNEASY MUSIC.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
I should say it does get real, real hot around this 50-mile mark.
What? We still have so much more left to go.
So much farther.
Oh, it's gonna get crazy, you guys.
Oh, and faster.
[ALL WHIMPERING.]
Hang on.
It hurts.
It hurts.
Mr.
Quinn! You stop this elevator right now and you bring back to the surface of the earth, - and that is an order! - Sorry, I can't do that.
This works with magnetic propulsion.
We have to arrive at our destination before turning back round.
- You're a madman! - You're a madman! Say-say, do you-do you mind if I scream? I sometimes need to scream right at this point.
Ahh-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya [ALL SCREAMING.]
Ohh [HEAVENLY CHORUS.]
[WHIMPERS DIE DOWN.]
Oh my God! [SCATTERED LAUGHS.]
- So beautiful.
- Yeah.
- So cool.
- It's magnificent.
I've never seen anything like it.
Oh crap, I'm crying.
I'm crying.
I'm crying.
- Told you.
- I told you.
[CLATTERING, THUDDING.]
- Oh, no.
- What's happening? - What's happening? - No, no, no.
Oh God, no.
- Wh-wh-wh-wha - Say what's wrong! Oh God, something is impacting the elevator.
The doors are gonna open.
- What? We're gonna die! - We're gonna die! - We're going to die! - [SOBBING.]
We're going to meet our souls.
Sorry.
[DING.]
Lunch? - Where are we? - Is that a restaurant! - Yes.
- There's like a whole civilization down here.
Yes.
Yes.
That's right.
Two floors down from where you started.
[LAUGHING.]
Centrifugal force, a top notch graphics team, and a big heater.
I do that for every single guest that I have here.
I had to go to the hospital once from doing it too many times.
- It wasn't real? - [CRYING.]
It wasn't real?! It feels horrible, right? Hey, we're gonna send you a zip file with pictures of all of you in mid-panic.
It was so funny.
You're a sick fuck.
But why are you in there? I thought we were gonna die.
I know.
I know.
I hope everybody's hungry.
I hope you're hungry as bears.
Portia.
Portia.
Portia.
[HUMMING SOFTLY.]
[ICE CREAM TRUCK PLAYS DISTANTLY.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
Excuse me.
I didn't see you there, little guy.
May I have an ice cream please? Oh, I-I'm afraid I do not have that authority.
I-I wouldn't like it if you couldn't have dairy and got a seizure.
- Please.
- The truck is right outside.
The song makes me crave it and it would be a nice and enjoyable relief from the heat.
I don't want your dads to yell at me, you know? All the other children are receiving ice creams.
I'm sorry, little guy.
[ICE CREAM TRUCK MUSIC WARPS, FADES.]
Hey, Portia Davenport, you're not eating meat right now, right? - I'm not.
- How did you know that? Well, you know, I invented texting I know everything.
I already know what everybody wants to eat, and here it is.
- Oh my God.
- My favorite fish food.
- [BOTH LAUGHING.]
- What did you get? - Burger.
- Look at that.
Look at that.
So Tunnel, may I ask, um how did you change your mind about me? You and I have a lot in common, I think.
You know, I mean, you're trying to do something that nobody's ever done before, and it's something that's so radical that it sounds unbelievable.
I thought that it was ludicrous, but then I came to understand that I was being shortsighted.
After all, I've been called all the same nasty names that you've been called Insane, sociopathic, stupid But people confuse ambition for psychopathy.
So maybe you're not crazy.
You're just, uh, inspired? - I like to think so.
- Yes.
Hey, do you know why I put you in that elevator? - ALL TOGETHER: No.
- Before today, did you believe it was possible to go to the center of the earth? - No.
- No.
But today you believed it didn't you? I actually, I had a suspicion that it wasn't real.
- All right.
If you say so.
- But I do believe that with my special effects and da da da, finally you came around to all believing that it was true, right? - Mm-hmm.
- True.
But we didn't actually go to the center of the earth.
So what did you accomplish? Well, Dory, maybe now one day we can go to the center of the earth because we're one step closer to believing that it's possible.
And to me, you're the embodiment of possibility and people, they sure want what you have, I'll tell you that.
And what do you think I have? The belief that you can lead us to a future where we're no longer tyrannized by our minds.
All beings flowing together, absolutely in rhythm with the divine song of the universe.
No more pain.
And you're telling us that we could have that in our lifetimes.
I mean wow! [OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING.]
What is what? [POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
- God, is that is that Kikei? - It is.
- Are you a resident here? - I am.
- What happened, Officer? - Drowned.
But it's only 4 feet of water.
I've seen it before with pool boys.
They see a dead bee and fixate on it.
Next thing you know, they fall head first against the bottom.
Let this be a lesson to you, huh? Let the bees float.
I will, Officer.
Well, this is just awful.
I employed him.
Oh, Aspen! Thank you.
Aspen, sweetie.
Do not look, okay? Don't look.
I awoke from a slumber to see him floating like a Lily pad.
- Oh God.
- I called the police, but it was too late.
His lungs were filled with the water.
Does that mean he's dead? He's with Jesus Christ and his angels now.
Yes.
May I have an ice cream because of what I've seen? Oh, of course.
Of course you can have an ice cream.
You have been through so much.
Ohh! You're such a good boy.
[LAUGHS.]
What exactly are you proposing? Well, Drew Gardner, what I'm proposing is that we find a way to turn Dory's ideas into something you can hold on to, something that could change the course of human history.
Something that's so revolutionary that people 500 years from now are gonna point back to this moment right now and say, "They did that.
" - [LAUGHTER.]
- Okay.
And there could be lunch boxes and phone cases and a whole line of bedding.
And So you want to sell enlightenment? I wanna invent it, uh, and produce it - and sell it.
- I would love to take something that would like fix me.
Yes, but who wants to do the work? All that talking and teaching and spending 40 days and nights in the jungle.
Nobody wants that.
They want a quick and easy solution.
They want a pill.
What'd you say? They want a pill.
- That's what it should be.
- [SNAPS.]
I feel like I'm gonna cry and I don't even know why.
Yeah, but it's a concept.
You can't swallow a concept.
It's just kind of nutty.
I mean, does no one else see this? I think maybe you can't see it because, my darling, you're kind of not feeling involved.
But I sure want you to be involved, 'cause what a story.
Don't you think it would be a great story, you know, friends who were famously just torn asunder by their differences and now reunited by enlightenment and the fight for the future of humanity.
What do you think of that? Plus, you know, you would be set for life.
I, for one, would love to be involved.
I would love to be involved.
Mm-hmm.
And Dory would you need to think it over? Where's your head at? With all due respect, Tunnel [CHUCKLES.]
I think the one who needs to think it over more is you.
Why is that? Because if we do this and it actually works and you can really feel what I feel, then you'll want to give up [LAUGHS.]
all of this.
This is not something to take lightly.
I don't believe in business, and even though your ideas are big, I still very much see you as a businessman.
So I just don't know if I can trust you yet.
That's fine.
Take your time.
Uh you know where to find me.
I'll be right, uh, right here at the center of the earth.
Would you ever wanna be enlightened? Like if it came in the form of a pill and I was in charge of it and I was also extremely celebrated for that.
Oh my God.
It's Kikei's puka shells.
- Why would Aspen have those? - I don't know.
Unless Unless what? You don't think Aspen Marc! No! Yeah.
Right, no.
[MOODY PIANO MUSIC.]
He knows how to play Piano.
[END CHORDS.]
Good good boy.
Ha.
[RESUMES PLAYING.]
- Dory.
- I really feel like in my cells that working with Tunnel is the right thing to do.
I really do.
I just have to be careful with how I approach it, you know? There's just something about him.
I don't know if he fully gets it.
- Dory, Dory, Dory.
- This could be our redemption, like not just for you, for all of us.
And it's incredible We're given this opportunity where we can actually right the wrongs of our past.
No matter what happens, I want you right there by my side, okay? - Ohh really? - Yeah.
It would be such an honor to be right by your side.
Are you are you and, um, Drew back together? Why? Just when I saw you guys come in together, I thought kind of was like maybe sensing a vibe.
You have nothing to worry about Portia.
Drew loves you so much.
[WHISPERS.]
I'm lost.
I'm a lost soul.
But today at Tunnel's, with you and your light, I finally felt for the first time like I had the sense of hope.
Can I tell you something? Of course.
I wasn't jealous of you.
I was jealous of Drew.
[STIRRING MUSIC.]
Well, my baby's so all that, that That, that, that, that All that, all that All that, all that, all that All that, all that All that, all that, all that All that, all that All that, all that, all that All that, all that All that, all that, all that
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