The Guild (2007) s05e03 Episode Script

I cannot believe my guildies just jetted off, leaving me! Oh and Zaboo, how more obvious could I be? My vagina was practically in my hand! We need more towels, please.
What am I supposed to do? Go downstairs alone? I've seen wildlife specials.
Cheetahs always go after solo stragglers first.
Whatever I'm gonna go down there.
and explore the things, that I'm interested in.
Like - what are those things? What do I like? The Game has a booth down there, right? Oh, can I have some more of those little shampoos? Oh, a packet.
That's convenient.
Oh, uhh excuse me, do you know where the, uhh.
H-hi, I'm looking for booth 451? Excuse me? Where do I go please? Look, I've told you three times already.
One per person! I've never been here before.
You're weird enough looking to where I remember you.
Again and again.
It's not for me.
It's for, uh my son.
Uh, here.
Uh, Timmy, hobby, uh scoriacis boy?! There you are.
My son.
Ask the nice man for your hat.
He's shy, and has several attention deficit disorders.
Grayson! Why'd you get out of line? Grayson? Seriously? Robin's real live name from Batman comics before Bruce's son Damien assumed the role, previously known as Nightwing, now known as Batman.
Okay, we don't have time to go to the end again, so you can just forget about getting Darth Vader's autograph, okay? He's giving away autographs? No! Twenty-dollars each, in the autograph area.
People foolishly pay celebrities to sign items for them? They also take pictures with you.
Pray you become an orphan.
Bruce Wayne would never be so fiscally irresponsible! Vork, hey! Come with me to The Game booth? Absolutely.
I was able to obtain fifteen complimentary human-sized bags.
If Bladezz can't get the room free, we're now able to manufacture a tent city in order to avoid hotel expenses.
Wow, good idea.
How would you like me to visit your house more often? I'm gonna choose option b "Not visit at all.
" Ahh, it's just that, I might be seeing Zaboo a lot if things go my way Ah.
You intend to fling your femininity at him in a copulatory manner.
Tead carefully! Letting biology rule is a dangerous thing.
Biology's not "ruling" me.
What I think I feel for him, is real emotion.
Codex, Codex You're a woman reaching the end of her fertile cycle.
This desperate biological imperative is driving you to seek a genomic legacy, nothing more.
That is ridiculous.
Haven't you ever been in love? That's more than just genome.
No.
Love is just nothing more than bastardized biology.
Have you not seen march of the penguins? Okay, I don't care what you, or anyone else in the guild says! Zaboo is most probably, certainly, almost the man for me.
Maybe.
crit, crit lightning bolt, lightning bolt Okay, let's ride into battle, everybody get on your mount! And let's ride into battle.
We're riding into battle.
We're riding into battle.
Hey dudes! I'm in a workout! Calisthenic'd.
Hey, Mister! You better start paying attention to the workout! Sorry! You were saying? Alright, now we're going to kill all these orcs with a fireball! Yoo! I'm looking for Kevinator, his pirate awaits.
Arrr! Arrr, hehe! Sorry buddy, Kevin got fired.
Messed up too many guild halls, so the player complaints took him down.
But the dude was gonna hook me up! Was he now? You know, he's said that to a lot of guys like you.
Hey Floyd! Yeah? We got another Kevinator joke invite.
Hey! The pirate kid.
Hey, go, say it! Say the line! Ahem! Taste my pirate patty.
That's pretty cool.
Uh, the big boss over there really loves internet memes, you know? He's been down lately, so I guess Kevin wanted to cheer him up.
Folding shirts and stuff.
Ok, so wait, umm Do you still want me to sign stuff and pose with people and? You can pay for my hotel room, right? No.
Pardon, uh, who am I serenading? Do you know the Double Rainbow song? Oooh, oooh, ooohh! Let's do it! Let's do it man.
That came from the heart.
T-shirts! Twenty dollars.
Baby with a gun, what's not to love? Hey! Buy something first! Hello! Remember me? Barely.
Okay Do you have a permit to sell those? Why? I'm sorry, but you have to have a booth or a table to sell things.
Rules and all.
I'm a girl.
Rules in geekville don't apply to us, right? No.
I'm going to have to ask you to, uh pack up.
Make me.
Squirell.
Storm troopers? Whatever.
Free photo, free photo! You? Thank you, very good.
Okay.
Come on, completely free.
Y-Yours! Can I sign your face? Why are you at The Game booth? Aren't you a special guest? Stupid Kevinator screwed me over! I'm nothing but a punchline for him.
And get this, he was fired before the convention, so I can't even yell at him now.
Someone drank my sweet juice glass of justice!? They must rehire him, so I can have him refired! I demand it! I can't believe they'd ooh, free play spot! I will sign this for you, totally free! Bladezz, you have no appeal to anyone, with your signature or picture.
Your currency is being a fool, and you're worth less than a dollar.
But I said I'd take care of the room situation - how am I gonna pay? Create value where this is none - something Mrs.
Zaboo taught me.
Bladezz, go upstairs to retrieve your laptop.
There's your fondue video.
Etc.
, etc.
, etc.
I just had a dozen dollars idea.
Clara? Where are you going? I'm leaving.
This whole stupid being pregnant thing is the anti-fun.
They won't let me do the convention zipline, breakfast martinis are totally out, and five people have asked me "when is the baby due"? This place is awful! So what? You're gonna walk home? Well I didn't think it through that far! Forget fun! Help me offload these tees.
We've got to find a booth that will let us sell them using their permit.
When you wipe, get back up again.
I guess.
Fun me wanted though.
Sad.
And when you pop that kid out of the dutch oven we could do a girl's weekend away.
Agree now, I'm not offering more.
Okay, sounds great.
You're like my sister from another brother-in-law.
Huh? I love you.
Whatever.
Give me a hug.
Sorry, panel's full.
But, but I gotta be a part of this.
It's Interpreting Middle Earth Topography into Vegetable Arts.
I was going to make Broccoli Ents.
Most panels, you're going to want to wait in line for an hour or sometimes two.
Saw a guy do six in '98.
Yeah b-but maybe I can just stand in the back or something? Can't.
Can you just keep the door open and I'll watch it from h Whole point of the doors is that they shut.
I just came from the MMO workout, okay? I just How can you do both panels at once? I mean, it's rididulous.
Socks and sandals, DTP buddy.
I don't know what DTP means.
Defeats the purpose, it's like wearing a t-shirt under a bikini.
Alright, I'm sorry.
There's a lot of things that you could improve on.
Must have it all.
Must have it all! Yeah, I'm talking to myself! Stop lookin' at me! How's the demo? Great changes, huh? No.
They nerfed Rising Phase.
Are they smokin' crack crazy? Well, a lot of us worked really hard to get this demo ready for the con, I haven't slept in a week, personally, getting it ready for everybody to enjoy Well, these changes are moronic! I mean, they get rid of Gleaming Cross, but keep Aurora's Veil? Well, you know uh, the creator oversaw all these changes personally Without Gleaming Cross, these Warlocks are gonna eat our lunch in PvP! They throw out this new Demon's Voice ability? Boom! One-shot.
The creator needs a reality check.
Seriously!? I mean hundreds of us, worked for like millions of hours! To get this ready, for the con and then, you, you spend - two minutes on it, and you start to tear it apart! Do you ever think, before you type stuff and criticize or say things? I can't believe I'm getting trolled to my own face! Why don't you create an imaginary world! It'll probably be like Fresno or something! Screw this! I need a kale smoothie! Wow.
You just tore a new a-hole into Floyd Petrowski.
Creator of our game.
Bravo.
Time warp spell! Work! Please!