The Neighborhood (2018) s05e03 Episode Script

Hey, Pop.
You are loving your new truck, huh?
Did you buy or lease?
Lease? I don't lease.
Ain't nobody telling me how many
miles I can put on my own truck.
Anyway, I was wondering, what
are you doing tomorrow? Any plans?
No, I just plan to relax and do nothing.
So whatever you have
in mind, it's a no.
Okay, then.
Uh, yo, Dave.
Any plans tomorrow?
Free as a bee.
Well, what would you say
to field-level VIP tickets
to the Dodgers game?
Heck yeah.
Uh, hell no.
Why wouldn't you ask your father?
I did ask my father. You said no.
Well, that's when I thought
you were asking me to do
something stupid, like dinner.
Look, I gave the boy life,
he's giving me the ticket.
Well, actually, Dave,
you and Grover can come, too.
I got five tickets.
One of the perks of my job at USC.
Oh, wow.
Well, life has gone full circle.
I mean, I used to take you
to the game as a boy.
Now, as a man, you're taking me.
Yeah. See, Malcolm,
you got me all teary-eyed
in front of Dave.
You know, this will be me and Grover's
first baseball game together.
A big milestone in a boy's life.
Huh.
Well, now I'm getting teary-eyed.
Hey, guys, what's going on?
- Dave, are you crying?
- Well, with joy.
Malcolm got us Dodger tickets.
It's gonna be father-son
day at Dodger Stadium.
Aw, that's so sweet.
I'm jealous. I love baseball.
Oh, well, you can come, too.
I got five tickets.
Great. I'd love to.
What about Marty?
Oh, Marty's got wedding stuff
with Mom and Necie tomorrow.
Sucks for him.
Yeah, fantastic for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What?
- What?
- Huh.
No.
No, no, no, no. It's, it's great.
You know, I was just thinking
that it was gonna be
a father-son thing, but obviously
it doesn't have to be.
So, what, I'm gonna mess that up?
You can't have fun if I'm there?
No. No. Not at all.
It's just, you know,
when it's all the guys,
we do guy things, and if you're there
it's just different.
Different how?
Oh, damn.
I was just thinking it's-it's-it's
the kid's first baseball game, and
you know how moms can be.
No, I don't. Tell me, Dave.
- Oh, damn.
- Oh, damn.
Well, you know moms
They're just always
mom-ing.
"Don't do this" or "Don't eat that."
It just sort of cramps our style.
In a in a caring way.
Well, I'm sorry you feel that
way, but I'm still coming.
But how about I promise you this?
I won't be a mom at all.
I won't even bring hand sanitizer.
It'll be like I'm not even there.
Sounds so good, Gemma.
I saved that, right?
Yes! This is how you do the ball game.
Great seats that I didn't have
to pay for.
Thank you, Malcolm. Thank you, man.
Thank you, son, so much.
Did I said thank you?
Yeah, Pops, you said it the whole ride.
And through the metal detector.
And at the bathroom.
But let me hear it one more time.
Thank you, Malcolm.
You're welcome.
Hey.
All right, it is going down.
Mom, I'm hungry.
Oh, Mom isn't here today, honey.
My name is Gemma, and I'm drinking beer.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Well, yeah, sure thing. After the
first inning, we are gonna pig out.
But I'm hungry now. I'm starving.
I'm light-headed.
Okay, yeah. You know what? Let's go.
Get it out of the way now.
Good idea. Come on.
Okay oh.
Ooh. Hey, Mookie's up.
Mookie! Yeah, yeah, Mookie!
Rip city, you're the mayor.
Ah
You and your superstitions, Pops.
Especially not blinking
while the first batter's up.
That makes no sense.
All I'm gonna say is,
2020 World Series champs.
Well, what about literally
every other year?
Those are the years I blinked.
Okay. Mom, can we talk
about your guest list?
Oh, what's there to talk about?
Uh well, mine is 30 people.
I've got 53.
And, Mommy, yours is
I don't know because
I'm only on page eight.
I cut down as much as I could.
I'm down to the bone.
Down to the bone?
Mama, Janice is on here.
You hate Janice.
Yes, and I want her to see that
my kids are better than hers.
Okay, fine. I'll try to get it down.
Do or do not. There is no try.
What'd you say to me?
I think it's a Star Wars thing.
Oh.
It sure is. Ah, but don't worry.
Soon clear all will become.
What is happening?
Oh.
Tonight, Necie and I
are watching Star Wars.
I've never seen it.
But Marty has acted out
every single scene for me.
It's adorable.
Can I join you?
I've never seen it either.
Mom, we watched it together.
It's one of my fondest memories.
Oh, sorry, baby.
I must have fallen asleep.
Really, Mama? How could you?
Oh, don't get so upset.
Moms have to catch their
sleep wherever they can.
I don't think
I saw a minute of his school plays.
Wait, is that why you said I was great
as the Tin Man in The Wiz?
Baby, you were.
I was the Cowardly Lion!
Boom, boom!
No way.
Did you see the way
Bellinger handled that pitch?
Yeah, he handled he handled
it. That was something, Pops.
Excuse me. Sorry.
All right. What did we miss?
Ho-ho, you don't even want to know, bro.
Darn it. All right. Let's go Dodgers!
- Did you get ketchup?
- Oh, yeah. It's right here.
I need a napkin.
Okay, hold on. Here you go.
I can't get this open. Can you open it?
All right, yeah. Just
give it to me. Don't
There's a cup in my cup holder.
Okay, okay. Just set it down here.
Cheese is getting on my pants.
Okay, I'll take this. Now
there's cheese all over me.
- No
- My hot dog fell on the ground!
Okay, all right.
Here you go.
Just eat it, I'm sure it's fine.
Dave, I think Grover's
gonna need another hot dog.
Oh, and I'll take another beer.
All right. Come on, buddy.
Oh, he's going, he's going.
Yes!
Ah!
Did you see Bellinger steal second?
Yeah, he's a thief, Pops.
That's cool, that's cool.
You're not even looking.
Oh, Pop, I'm looking.
Oh, come on. Damn it, I missed that.
Because I'm not looking at the game,
looking at you not looking at the game.
What is going on?
All right, I-I spotted a woman I know
sitting a few rows back
to the right, but don't look.
And
You both looked, didn't you?
I'm still looking.
I was a little curious.
Her name is Kayla.
And at first I was into it
and she was into it.
But then I wasn't so into it
and she was, like, really into it,
so I had to get the hell out of it.
Trust me, if she sees me,
we're gonna get into it.
So, you're gonna let an ex-girlfriend
ruin our perfectly good day?
Pop, it won't be a perfectly
good day if she sees me.
Trust me, you don't want to
see Kayla with a bat in her hands.
- Wait. Pause, pause, pause.
- Okay, okay.
Remind me again why we're
starting with the fourth one?
Oh, no, the fourth one is the first one.
So, is that like a space thing?
No. It's just the way he told the story.
And that garbage can
that goes "bleepy bloopy,"
he needs the gold man to speak?
Well, yeah. He's a translator.
But my Alexa can speak.
My car can speak.
Right, but this is a
long, long time ago.
But they have spaceships.
It's a galaxy far, far away!
Look, can I just,
can I start the movie again?
What are you doing? What are you doing?!
I just got an email.
Keep going, it's fine.
No. No, no, no, no. Okay.
No phones during Star Wars.
He's acting like he's in the movie.
Dodgers!
Look at you, man.
It's the seventh-inning stretch,
and you're not even stretching.
Okay
What did you do to that woman?
Nothing. It just didn't work out, so
I ghosted her.
Oh, so instead of manning up
and telling her you're not interested,
you just disappeared?
Well, I wouldn't put it like that.
Well, how would you put it?
I would say I cared so much
about her feelings, I avoided them.
Okay, then, maybe it's not
too late to get things right.
Oh, no, I think it's too late.
I don't know, she looks sweet.
Yeah? Well, check out her texts.
"I hope you go to hell." Oh
I mean, it's not that bad.
No, no, no. Keep reading.
"You stupid" Oh! Oh!
"And you can stick"
Yeah, she doesn't look
the way she texts.
Excuse me. Sorry.
All right.
We should leave now so
we can beat the traffic.
Come on. Boo!
Who brought this guy?
No, I agree with Dave.
We should go now to beat the crowd.
Plus my neck is killing me.
Oh, you can blame yourself for that.
Dad, I'm cold. Where's my jacket?
Oh, I-I didn't bring one.
I wish Mom was here.
Okay, let's go buy you a jacket.
And another ice cream.
You just said you were cold.
Well, I won't be with a jacket.
All right, come on.
Oh, and while you're there,
hook a sister up with a churro.
Ooh, make that two, and
don't forget the caramel sauce.
Hey, Dave.
Dave, maybe I should go with you.
No, no, Malcolm, you're gonna stay here
and you'll watch this
game with your father.
Come on, Pop. You come on.
You know what, Malcolm?
I thought this could be
our new tradition.
You treating me to tickets.
You know, father and son
at the ballpark,
just like Field of Dreams.
Except for there's no cornfield
and nobody's dead.
Yeah, well, not yet.
But if Kayla sees me, that could change.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I have never left a Dodger game early,
and I'm not gonna start now.
Plus, I've got the car keys.
So sit down!
Everybody start watching the game,
and start having fun right now!
Including you, sir!
All right, look at that.
The Dodgers have eight hits in.
I've missed all of 'em.
Nice jacket, Grover.
My son's first baseball game,
and he will have this memento forever.
Ha!
He'll grow out of it in six months.
I thought you weren't here.
I'm not.
If I was, Grover would have
a hoodie from home.
And a bag of carrots.
Oh, look, look. We're on the dance cam!
Oh, look at that!
Oh, give Daddy some room.
Come on!
Everything okay down there, Dave?
Oh, yeah, Just making memories.
- Is that one an Ewok?
- No.
Is that one an Ewok?
Babe, just, just watch.
When does Billy Dee Williams show up?
Wait a minute.
Is Billy Dee Williams an Ewok?
'Cause I don't play that.
This movie is too dry looking.
I know, it's making me thirsty.
And you know, it takes too long
to get to the Ewoks.
Ewoks aren't in this movie!
They're in the third one.
So the one before this one.
No, two after this.
I mean, come on, Marty. You
got to admit that's confusing.
Oh, that is interesting.
Because hundreds of millions of people
clearly do not find it confusing.
Can you believe Dave and Malcolm
wanted us to leave early
and miss Freeman's walk-off homer?
Oh, actually, Dave did miss it.
Oopsies.
We had a great time spending
the whole ninth inning
looking for Dippin' Dots.
We found 'em. Yeah, we did.
Yeah, I had a great time, too.
Even though Malcolm ghosted me
like he did that woman.
I guess that's just what he does.
I got you free tickets and free parking.
I don't hear you complaining about that.
Grover!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Did he get any of that in my new truck?
I-I mean, is-is the boy okay?
He's fine and, uh so is the truck.
I-I think he just has
a little bit of a stomach bug.
Uh, or
his father let him eat whatever
he wanted for four hours.
He didn't have that much.
He literally ate his height in hot dogs.
Gemma, at this point there's no reason
for me to tell you that were right.
The proof is
all over the parking lot.
And on the upholstery.
Ah!
I heard that. You owe me a full detail.
I'm sorry that I said that
you were gonna ruin guys' night.
But can you please be here now?
Yes. And lucky for you,
I have wipes and Tums.
Thank you.
Look at this.
This traffic is insane.
We've been stuck for like 20 minutes.
I have to pee.
At least.
- At least?
- Probably more.
Okay.
Oh, oh, please don't pee
or more in this truck.
- Hit the child lock
- I-I don't know where the button is.
- Just hit the button.
- It's a new truck.
Hey. Hey.
- You're missing your movie.
- Yeah.
We just got to the part
where they fell into the wet garbage
Ah.
It's so cool.
Necie, come on, you think it's silly.
No.
If it's important to you,
it's important to me.
So, why is it important to us?
Okay, look.
I don't share this
with a lot of people
but the truth is,
I wasn't the coolest kid.
- What?
- Yeah.
I know. Growing up was rough for me.
Like
I wasn't like the other
boys on the block.
I didn't talk like them,
I didn't dress like them.
Whenever we played basketball,
they called me Airball Butler.
My dad came up with that one.
Babe.
I spent a lot of time
looking for where I fit in.
You know?
Space and sci-fi movies
were like my escape.
I mean, come on, I work
with rockets and robots.
Where do you think that came from?
Seems like Airball Butler got his dream.
Yeah. And he got the girl.
- See, you better believe it.
- Yeah, you know.
I know.
- Mom, are you?
- Shh.
Are you enjoying this?
Yes, it's exciting, and, look,
that wizard guy's wearing
the same costume we made
for your school Halloween parade.
Yeah, that's Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Yes, Obi-Wan. Oh.
We made his robes together.
Oh, we had so much fun.
I stayed up all night sewing that thing.
He looked so cute.
Mama, I did not look cute. I was fierce.
Now I remember watching this movie.
The guy in the black football helmet
- Yeah?
- he killed Obi.
And then the big monkey man
helped blow up the Death Ball.
That's it. I knew it.
Is that a spoiler?
Several.
Pop, I know you think
I took the easy way out,
but man, dating now is not
like it was in your day.
- My day?
- Yeah.
Some things never change, Malcolm.
I mean, you called it
ghosting, back in my day
we called it "hit it and quit it."
It was foul then and it's foul now.
You're right.
I promise, moving forward,
I will handle things better.
But-but, hey, at least you got to see
a good game tonight, right?
Why do you think I was
so excited about this game?
Because you love the Dodgers.
No, Malcolm.
I was excited to spend
some quality time with you.
Hell, I could've watched the Dodger game
at home in my drawers.
And I spent the whole time
hiding from Kayla.
Mm.
I'm sorry, Pop.
Hey, you want to watch
tomorrow night's game together?
I'd love to.
- All right.
- All right.
You're gonna have to wear
some pants, though.
Eh
We'll see about that.
- Okay.
- Ooh.
There are no Porta Potties
within a quarter-mile radius.
I got to pee in a bush.
Oh.
Congratulations, Grover.
You are now a man.
Nice. Yeah, up top.
Can I get a squeeze
of that hand sanitizer?
Yeah, mm-hmm.
Oh, traffic's starting to move.
Hey, Malcolm,
would you see if
that guy will let us in?
Yeah.
Oh, my God, that's Kayla.
- That's Kayla?
- Yeah.
Oh, don't worry, I got this.
Hey, Kayla!
I got your boy Malcolm here.
Malcolm?
Hey, Kayla. Girl, we was just
talking about you. It was, um
It was a good game, huh?
- Good game?
- Yeah.
Good game? You've got a lot of nerve,
you arrogant, two-faced-ed,
lying-ass dirtbag.
How dare you ghost me?
- Yeah, but, Kayla, come on
- You know what, Malcolm?
No, no. The less you say,
the sooner it'll be over.
You know what?
- You can kiss my ass.
- Mm.
Besides, you weren't all that anyway,
two-minute brother.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
That's my son you're talking about!
Don't roll the window up. Oh, hell no.
Roll it back down, back down.
I got my list down to two pages.
Oh, thanks. That is reasonable.
Mama.
You just used a smaller font.
Well, I thought you were
tripping about the pages,
not the number of people.
You met the caterer.
It's gonna cost $120 a plate.
$120 a plate?
Let me see that list.
Uh-uh.
Okay.
Baby, you just
crossed off the whole church choir.
Babe, if they ain't singing,
they ain't eating.
Don't need him.
Carlos ain't even got teeth.
What he gonna do?
Ooh, I'm gonna keep Janice.
I want her to see that
our kids are better than hers.