True Blood s05e03 Episode Script
Whatever I Am, You Made Me
Tara, we just want to help! Tara, please let us explain! - We just want to help, Tara! Tara! Tara! Goddamn piece of shit.
Ow! My nail.
Ugh.
Hey, hi! Ma'am, can you help me? Because I have never changed a tire before in my life.
Listen, I-- Heh.
I got no problem with vampires.
In fact, you know, I'm on your side.
I think that y'all should have the same rights that we do.
Oh, God, please.
I don't want to die.
Don't hurt me, please.
Let me go.
Just-- Do not do this.
You don't have to.
You could just let me go.
I'm sorry.
Russell Edgington alive.
What an epic fucking disaster! Allow me to take care of these traitors.
They will beg for the true death.
- Shouldn't we at least consider their proposal? - Since when do we negotiate with apostates?! If they think they can smoke out Russell Edgington - why not let them try? - The odds are they won't survive the fight.
And what kind of precedent does that set? Rewarding these traitors for what? Not following orders in the first place.
Exactly.
We cannot condone this blatant insubordination.
Rosalyn, you would sentence your own maker to the true death - if it served your political agenda.
- My maker was a pioneer a true mainstreamer, unlike some people.
Chancellors, thank you for your input.
Be assured that I will take it all under advisement.
Bless the blood.
Stay.
The Sanguinistas have turned Russell Edgington into some kind of hero for ripping out a man's spine on TV.
He has become the poster boy for the anti-mainstream movement their Osama bin Laden.
Do you know the one thing more dangerous than a martyr? A 3000-year-old vampire who hasn't fed in over a year.
Suffering does not kill the appetite for power.
It exacerbates it.
I've dedicated my Guardianship to the fight for coexistence and I will not see it go swirling down the shitter because of one ancient pissed-off psychopath.
- Do you understand what I am saying? - Absolutely, Guardian.
We'll bring him in.
Or die trying.
What do you think? Well, they put him in the ground once.
Send in the new Nan Flanagan.
It is an honor to be of service.
Pam.
Pam.
I need to talk to you in private.
Excuse me, but this is an emergency.
Excuse me, so is this.
My maker hasn't been home in four days - not that you give a shit.
- Eric's missing? Bill's demon spawn thinks they're on some kind of business trip but we both know the only business Eric ever has with King Bill is the kind that involves almost getting themselves killed protecting you.
Whatever they're up to has nothing to do with me.
Eric and I and Bill, we're over.
If only.
Pam, listen.
Asking you for help again is about the last thing I wanna do right now.
But Tara ran away.
She's too fast.
We can't catch her.
She's out there somewhere, scared, hungry.
We had a deal.
I held up my end of it.
You haven't done shit for me, Tinker Bell.
- So whatever you're asking-- - Pam, you're her maker.
All I need you to do is summon her.
Then we'll take her home and never bother you again.
I promise.
I'm not interested in you or that pathetic excuse for a vampire you had me make.
So get out of my bar before I suck you dry.
Find Tara! Agh! Fuck Tara and fuck you.
Crazy! What are you looking at? Go back to dry-humping each other and buying my overpriced drinks, or get the fuck out! - What the-- ? - Help me.
What happened to you? I'm hungry- Nan Flanagan, may the cold bitch rest in peace, went on CNN and told the world Russell Edgington had met the true death more than a year ago.
Tonight, however, we have learned that he is still very much alive.
Excuse me, sir, but says who? Elvis was spotted buying turkey jerky in a 7-Eleven in Yakima last Thursday but that doesn't mean he's still alive.
That just means people will believe anything they want to believe.
Humans are not rational.
They are 100 percent motivated by fear.
All they want is to feel safe, to know that they're good and right and they're gonna end up in a heaven full of puffy clouds with everybody they've ever loved wearing angel wings.
So you tell me what you want them to believe and I'll sell it to them.
Reverend Newlin, you have been a vampire now for, what, four months? And yet you find it funny to ridicule and underestimate the human race? The race that birthed all of us into existence? Is this some kind of joke? Reverend Newlin was recruited because of his connection to the Fellowship of the Sun.
With his influence in the religious right he'll be able to speak to people we never hoped to reach.
He can be valuable if we give him the chance.
Don't be nervous, Steve.
I was new once.
I get it.
All I wanted to do was feed, fuck and kill.
Took me centuries to realize that humans aren't just talking meat.
They're our ancestors.
None of us would be here without them.
Have you heard of the Sanguinista Movement? They believe that humans should be farmed like cattle, owned like slaves.
They believe in nothing.
They've learned nothing from history.
If we do not evolve if we continue to behave like fucking savages, the humans will rise up.
They will retaliate with their armies.
It is just a matter of time.
Right now this council is the only thing preventing a civil war.
That is why I need you, Steven.
If, for whatever reason, our sources are unable to bring Russell Edgington in quietly and he winds up on the TV threatening to eat children I will need a friendly, trustworthy vampire mainstreamer who knows how to work a crowd.
I won't let you down, sir.
You'd better not.
Make sure Mr.
Northman and Mr.
Compton are harnessed and thoroughly scanned.
We do not want a repeat of the necromancy bullshit.
I'll take care of it, Guardian.
Find out everything you can.
Now if you guys could take your shirts off for me, that'd be great.
What is that? We call it the iStake.
- That's catchy.
- Right? One click and this little sucker will pierce your heart faster than a bullet.
Wooden-tipped, of course.
All right, there you go.
Pinches a little, but you'll get used to it.
Imagine it's a training bra.
It's been a long time since I wore one.
How do you trigger these devices? - There's an app for that.
- You're joking.
Nope, so if you try to do something stupid like attack me or try and run away or whatever - click and splat.
- Efficient.
Same applies if you try and remove the harnesses, FYI.
These things are totally indestructible.
Waterproof, fireproof, yada, yada, yada.
Knows who you had for breakfast and where you go to ground so do yourselves a favor.
Don't fuck around, okay? You guys are too cute to be goo.
Thanks.
Shit, Sook, I looked everywhere.
Merlotte's? Her mama's? Merlotte's closed.
Lettie Mae ain't seen her.
- Did you tell them? - What was I gonna say? "Sorry, Auntie, I had your only daughter turned into a vampire.
And she may be brain-damaged too.
You're welcome.
" Not gonna stay a secret, not in this town.
Well, then we better figure out some story on how Tara got turned.
And one that don't include you blowing that were bitch's head off and me helping you dispose of her body.
State she in, she could be anywhere, telling anybody anything.
Not what she's telling people that I'm worried about.
The sun's gonna be coming up soon.
We gotta hope she's got enough sense to go to ground someplace safe.
Another one? - More.
Don't care if it's cold.
- You sure? - I'm starving.
- Tara, talk to me.
Tell me who did this to you.
- All right, I'm calling Lafayette.
- Mm-mm.
- Sookie? She's your best friend.
- Mm.
You don't wanna talk to me - you need to talk to someone.
- No! Do not fucking call them, Sam.
Don't tell them where I am.
Promise me.
Tara.
Tara.
Hey, hey, hey, whoa.
Tara? - Kevin, Rosie.
- Morning, Sheriff Bellefleur.
You been working out, hon? Uh-- Actually, I have been hitting the weights here and there.
Thanks for noticing.
Gotta watch that figure, huh? - Now that you're a local sex symbol.
- Rosie, shut up.
What are you talking about? What's she talking about? Answer me, or I'll have you patrolling park urinals the rest of the month.
Nice mug shot, sheriff.
- Is that Facebook?! - It is a real nice picture.
- I mean, from a photography standpoint.
- Shut up.
I'm sure the good people of Bon Temps will be real glad to know y'all are spending their hard-earned tax dollars surfing porno on the Internet! Get back to work! Sheriff Bellefleur? - What?! Gordon Pelt.
This is my wife, Barbara.
We're here to talk to you about our daughter, Debbie.
Sorry.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Pelt, thank you for coming.
Jimmy, on Aisle 3 there's a bag of dog food that opened.
Clean it up.
Miss Steeler? Jason Stackhouse.
It's been a long time.
It's 15 years.
Ha, ha.
I can't believe this.
Hey, the last I heard, you'd moved to Indiana and married a podiatrist.
A psychiatrist.
- We're divorced.
- Oh, sorry about that.
But you're back in Bon Temps.
That's awesome.
You still teaching? No, I quit a long time ago.
Wow, really? But you were so great at it.
I remember everything you ever taught me.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't I better get going.
Jason, don't.
I just need your help with something.
Crunchy or sweet? - Sweet.
- Mm.
I cried myself to sleep worrying about you, waiting for you to come home.
I know, and I'm sorry.
You deserve a lot better.
Look, whatever is going on with you and Patrick whatever y'all did over there, you can tell me.
I love you, Terry Bellefleur.
Ain't nothing you say is gonna change that.
Just tell me.
I can't.
I promised.
We promised a whole bunch of stuff in our wedding vows.
- Don't that count for nothing? - Of course it does, baby.
I don't want to lie to you.
I'm real bad at it anyway.
I'm gonna tell you as much as I can, okay? - Okay.
- I'm going somewhere with Patrick.
And we're leaving right now.
- Well, where to? - I can't tell you.
- What are you gonna do there? - I can't say.
- How long are you gonna be gone? - Don't know.
Okay, well, don't expect me to be waiting for you when you get back.
Morning, Arlene.
You didn't happen to see Tara last night? I got this.
Hey, peaches and cream.
Stop all that crying before you mess up your pretty mascara.
Lafayette, go away! - Now, is that a yes or a no on seeing Tara? - No! Sookie.
Hey.
- Didn't realize you were working today.
- Did you see Tara last night? No.
No.
No, why? I called you a bunch of times and never heard back.
I was hoping maybe she was with you.
SAM".
Look at her boobs.
The way she smells, think about that.
Anything but the walk-in-- Shit! Walk-in, walk-in, walk-in-- Damn it! Walk-in? Tara's in the walk-in? Fuck! Well, it was the only light-tight place I could think of.
- Why would you lie to me? - She made me promise not to tell you.
- Is she okay? - Hell, no! She's a vampire! From how pissed she was at you and Lafayette I guess you had something to do with that.
She was gonna die.
The less you know about all that, the better, for your own good.
If you hate me, it's fine.
Listen.
Hey, my brother died in my arms.
He wanted to go, but I can't help wondering if I should have fought harder.
The way I see it, you gave Tara another chance.
It may not be the kind of life she had in mind but it's up to her now what she wants to do with it.
Thank you.
For keeping her safe.
And everything.
Can I give you a hug without you thinking about my boobs? Probably not.
Oh, what the hell.
Go ahead.
He put my cousin in the fucking freezer.
Cold isn't gonna bother her any.
When they sleep, they're basically dead.
Have to make sure nobody opens this door till nightfall.
Yeah, and then what? It's like keeping a pet gator in a bathtub.
We can't handle her by ourselves.
- We're just gonna have to find a way.
Sookie? You working today? Because we got prep to do.
Coming.
We have something to satisfy even the most exotic fancies.
The chink, we call her Rubber Ruby.
Show the gentleman why, would you, darling? Mm.
Delightful.
Mm.
But it is you I came to see.
A good merchant doesn't compete with her merchandise, sir.
And a good customer knows everything has its price.
Goddamn them.
I am just a blood bag.
My life is meaningless.
Good little whore.
Now say, "Drain me, Daddy.
Drain me till I'm dead.
" Drain me, Daddy.
Drain me till I'm dead.
- Get your hands off of her! - William, don't.
Oh, Lorena.
You procreated.
Oh, and he is protective.
How sweet.
- Who are you? - Eric Northman.
But to you, the true death.
Aah! Eric, please.
He's new.
He doesn't understand.
I understand perfectly.
If Mr.
Northman wants a fight, he can fight a man.
Oh, he is brave and loyal.
Strong for one so young.
It would be a shame to waste a promising vampire simply because his maker failed to educate him on how to treat his elders.
- Thank you.
Mm.
We did not know this was your territory.
We deeply regret any inconvenience we may have caused.
It is the lady you owe the apology to.
And $500 for every girl you drained.
We are sorry.
Aren't we, William? You had better get him under control.
I believe we have a debt to settle.
Come on.
Psst.
Hey.
He's a cute kitty.
Oh, ha-ha-ha.
Don't take it personally.
Prince Charming doesn't like sharing me.
He used to pee in my ex-husband's shoes.
Prince Charming, huh? Well, that explains it.
Name like that's just too much to live up to.
So what's your life been like? Are you married? You have a girlfriend? Yeah, I ain't had the best of luck in that department.
One died right next to me.
One was married to a gay preacher.
Crystal was a Let's not even go there.
But right now I'm fuck buddies with the love of my best friend's life who's a teenage vampire.
And that's just all kinds of messed up.
But it's really great to see you.
I mean, really great.
I've thought about you a lot over the years.
- Me too.
- What happened between us was-- Amazing, I know.
I was gonna say wrong.
I made a terrible mistake.
I never meant to hurt you or take advantage of you.
Oh.
I'm so sorry.
Well, I'm not.
You taught me how to do the only thing I ever been great at.
Jason,no.
I don't care what you say.
That ain't no mistake.
- This ain't no mistake.
- Jason.
Oh, God.
- You found her car where? - In Bon Temps.
Off Hummingbird Lane.
Does she have any friends there? Friends? - I wouldn't say that.
- Well, what would you say? Our daughter's missing.
Far as we know, you're the last person who saw her.
Honey, calm down.
This isn't helping.
We know you two had a fight.
She called us.
Said she was coming home to Jackson, only she never showed up.
It was more than a fight.
I abjured her.
- You what? - Sorry to be the one to tell you but she's back on the blood.
Caught her running around on me again.
Abjuring her was the only way I knew how to end it for good.
You're lying.
She's been sober for over a year.
She wanted to marry you, have your cubs.
Screwing her new packmaster was a hell of a way of showing it.
That's my little girl you're talking about.
- If you hurt her, you son of a bitch-- - Gordon, stop.
I didn't do anything to Debbie.
She's probably holed up with some drainer getting loaded.
They found her wallet, Alcide.
All her money, her phone.
Now, I know Debbie's no angel.
Something's happened to her.
I can feel it.
ls there anything you can do to help us find her? We're at the Sunshine Inn.
Yeah.
I know her.
That's Debbie Pelt.
You seen her recently? Uh, about a week ago.
She gave me a ride to Shreveport to run some errands.
And you haven't seen her since? Did something happen to her? Been missing a few days.
We found her car abandoned about a quarter mile from your house.
That's weird.
Uh, Jason tells me that you said Debbie was bat-shit crazy.
What's that mean? Her boyfriend's a good friend of mine.
We try to get along, but we aren't BFFs.
She can be unpredictable.
Bet she didn't appreciate her boyfriend being friends with a single gal like you.
Or maybe you and this Alcide Herveaux were a little more than friends? - Andy, if you're suggesting-- - I ain't suggesting, I'm asking.
Was Debbie Pelt jealous of your relationship with her boyfriend? I don't know.
I do know she's a V addict.
She's paranoid and can be real nasty.
If something happened to her, I'm sorry, but she brought it on herself.
Why don't you tell that to her parents? They're here searching for their only daughter.
V addicts have parents too, and they deserve the same justice as me.
Or you.
Well, justice is your job, not mine.
So unless disliking someone's a crime and you're gonna arrest me for it - I gotta get back to work, okay? - For now.
- Hey, Sheriff Andy.
- Ms.
Cleary.
Speak to you outside? We're fucked.
And our asses is going to jail.
He doesn't know anything.
It didn't sound that way to me.
I listened to his thoughts.
He's more concerned about the size of his rear end right now than he is about Debbie Pelt.
Trust me.
I know you've been through a lot, but I need you to keep your eye on that walk-in and try and act like your normal, fabulous self.
Can you do that for me? Arlene! These beans is colder than titties in a brass bra.
Come on, now.
Shit.
Well, all right.
Jesus, what's your problem? I never seen her before.
How about this one? On Facebook? Oh, I'm gonna skin those brats alive.
I'll make sure they take it down before anyone else sees it.
Facebook already took it down.
Don't matter, though.
I could walk down Main Street naked with a bag on my head.
- Folks would still know it was me.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
No, don't worry about it.
Town like this, people will stop talking about it in 15 years.
Anyway, uh, now that the, ha, ha, cat's out of the bag uh if you wanna, I don't know take whatever this is to the next level we got nothing to lose.
Sheriff Andy, are you asking me to go steady? I guess I am.
Well, you-- ? You realize I'm a witch, right? My kids are delinquents.
I live in a motel.
Well, I live with my grandma.
And I'm an alcoholic and a recovering V addict and the laughing stock of the Renard Parish Sheriff's Department.
How'd we get so lucky? Wow.
That was-- I had no idea how much I needed that.
I got half a box of wine in the cooler.
Want some? You-- You were right.
What we did back then, it was a mistake.
Jason, wait.
Don't leave.
Jason.
Goodbye, Miss Steeler.
Thank you for joining me, Mr.
Compton.
Did I have a choice? There are always choices.
Are you comfortable in your new quarters? As comfortable as one can be with a stake against his heart.
Necessary precaution.
I'm sure you understand.
Walk with me? Do you know who I am? You're Salome.
Beheader of John the Baptist - dancer of the seven veils.
- Heh.
Don't believe everything you read.
The human Bible, it's little better than Us Weekly.
They made me a convenient villain, a symbol for dangerous female sexuality.
But I was just a girl.
With a severely fucked-up family.
So you didn't ask for a man's head on a silver platter? Politics.
John denounced my mother's remarriage to my uncle, the king.
She wanted him silenced.
So she saw an opportunity in her new husband's fondness for teenage virgins.
The trade was her idea.
Your mother traded your body for revenge.
And the dance of the seven veils? They wrapped me in sheer scarves when I was delivered to my uncle's bed.
I suppose you can call what followed a dance of sorts.
The humans of my youth, they were far more savage than any vampires I've known.
Anyway the world's different now, and so am I.
And yet you still have the attention of the Guardian.
And you still have the power to send men to their deaths.
So perhaps not that much has changed after all.
I like you, Mr.
Compton.
I've been tracking your political career for some time and your rise has been quite impressive.
Well, I am flattered.
Though why someone of your stature would be interested in a small-town monarch such as myself is a mystery to me.
Humility is for humans.
Do you know what I admire the most about you? Clearly not my ability to take orders.
Your heart.
You still let it rule you.
A rare quality amongst our kind.
We've become so jaded.
We celebrate our own cynicism.
I want to help you.
- Why? - Because something about you moves me.
And in over 2000 years, I've learned to trust that feeling.
The question is can I trust you? How can I prove it to you when you already have my life in your hands? Perhaps by taking my life in yours.
- What do you think? - Heh.
Honey, you are hotter than barbecue Tabasco sauce in that dress.
But if you're doing all this for Jason Stackhouse trust me, you don't gotta work so hard.
- What's that supposed to mean? - There ain't no nice way of saying this but God gave that boy a penis and a brain, only enough blood to run one at a time.
Well, you don't know him.
He's actually a really good guy.
Sweetie, I've known him all my life.
You seem like a nice vampire.
I just don't want to see you get hurt.
That's all.
Really? Because I think you just want me to know that you and Jason fooled around and that he dumped you.
- Which I can't say I blame him for.
- Ahem.
If you want me to spend my daddy's money in your Podunk store I suggest you stop talking shit about my friends.
Okay, sweetie? Yes, ma'am.
I'll get this one and one in red.
And those shoes.
Thanks.
Hi.
Welcome to Tracy's Togs.
I'm Tracy.
How can I help you? I'm picking up an order.
Garter belts.
These for your girlfriend or your wife? - My sisters.
- You sure got a lot of sisters.
- Sixteen.
- Heh.
You smell awesome.
What are you? Wait, wait, wait.
Hey, you gotta pay for that dress! Hey, where'd you go? Hey, I can smell you! Everywhere.
I know you.
Yeah, you're Jessica's.
No, not anymore.
Honey, the eyeliner, the desperation.
They'll eat you alive in here.
That's what I'm hoping for.
What's it like being what you are? Oh It would take several of your lifetimes to answer that question.
Then make me a vampire and we'll have all the time in the world.
You don't know what you're asking.
Yes, I do.
I'm not afraid.
And I can see that.
Most humans beg me to spare their lives, and you want me to take yours.
I want you to give me one worth living.
Well, you seem to be doing quite well for yourself.
Your profession may not be glamorous, but it's more honest than most.
Do you know what happens to women like me when we get old? We're pariahs.
We die alone in the dark.
Syphilis, TB.
If you had any idea what kind of life awaits me you wouldn't hesitate to turn me.
If you had any idea of the responsibility that comes with being a maker you wouldn't dare ask.
Then make me and leave me.
I'll take care of myself.
I always have.
Would you toss a newborn baby in a gutter? Abandoning a new vampire is no different.
Becoming a maker's an eternal commitment.
Greater than any marriage deeper than any human bond.
To throw that away is sacrilege.
An honorable vampire? Isn't that a contradiction? No more than an intelligent whore, yet here we are.
Pamela.
What have you done? Let me walk the world with you, Mr.
Northman.
Or watch me die.
Sheriff Northman.
Good evening.
Thank you, chancellor, for your support at the hearing.
We owe you our lives.
Oh, you can stop performing.
I have this room swept for bugs daily.
We can be ourselves here.
Please, sit down.
You surprise me.
And that doesn't happen very often.
I expected you to at least try and save her.
- Who? - Your sister.
Don't worry, your secret is safe.
Even Nora has no idea I know.
- How? - Godric.
Oh, he was glorious.
Well, before he lost his way.
He loved you the most.
And now I see why.
So Nora risked everything for you.
And you're willing to let us execute her for it? - What choice do I have? - There are always choices.
Godric gave you one while you bled out on that pyre.
Be his companion or die.
Are you lonely? Is this how you make friends? Friends you can trust are a rare commodity.
I sponsored Nora's chancellorship.
- Did you know that? - Mm.
I mentored her.
So her betrayal makes you look particularly bad.
You're cold.
It is because you've been hurt.
And that wound is still fresh.
I heal quickly.
Perhaps I can help you speed that along.
What do you want from me? You know what I want.
I want to be your friend.
But it's what you want that intrigues me.
You killed Hayes conspired with known Sanguinistas to aid in Compton and Northman's escape.
As we say in Texas, honey: If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing you do is stop digging.
And as we say in Surrey, sod the fuck off, you cunting twat.
Here's my theory.
I think you did it all for love.
So which one is it, hmm? The sheriff or the king? Both? Well, see, now, that's a sandwich I'd take a bite out of anytime.
Well, since their lives apparently mean nothing to you we'll just go ahead and activate their iStakes.
Wait! Yes, I believe vampires were made in God's image.
I believe that mainstreaming is an abomination.
And I believe that Lilith will rise from The Blood and rip your blasphemous fucking heads off and dance in your muck.
Good girl.
Now, doesn't that make you feel better, hmm? Hey, I just had the weirdest experience.
Yeah, so did I.
There was this guy, and I could smell his blood.
Sorry, I know that grosses you out, but it smelled like cotton candy and fresh-baked bread and fucking sex.
The most delicious thing I've ever smelled in my life.
- Why are you telling me this? - Because after he ran away all I could think about was you.
Just inside of me.
- Heh.
- Just-- What? Nothing.
Nothing.
Let's do this.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry, is there something wrong? - You know what? Yeah.
I ain't some mechanical bull you can come and ride on whenever you feel like it.
What the hell happened to you today? Uh, let's see.
Uh, well, I realized I got this big fucking hole inside of me that I've been filling with sex, and Because that's what I got taught to do.
Because I was too fucking young and it felt too fucking good and it made it all go away.
But it ain't working no more.
And I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling.
I can't do this right now.
Just go.
Jason, we don't have to have sex.
We could just talk.
I just want to be your friend.
See, the minute you do that my dick starts screaming, "Dude, just shut up and fuck her.
" I can't be friends with a girl.
I don't know how.
Yeah, you do.
You already are.
I'm gonna put on your sweats and you're gonna grab a beer.
Then you're gonna tell me what the hell happened today.
And maybe I'll have some advice.
Maybe I'll just listen.
See? It's that easy.
Hello? Somebody in here? Rise and shine.
Breakfast is ready.
Come on, now, hooker, drink.
We gotta get you out of here.
Oh, ow! Don't fucking touch me.
- They found her car near your house.
- I heard.
She's back on the V.
I don't know what she's capable of.
Thanks for the warning, but I gotta work.
I tell you Russell's on the loose, you throw me out of your house.
I tell you Debbie's MIA, maybe gunning for you you act like it's no big deal.
I get you're tough.
That don't mean you have to be stupid.
I appreciate you caring.
It doesn't mean you get to talk to me like that.
- Excuse me.
- Hey! There's something going on here.
There's something you're not telling me, and I want to know why.
- Nothing's going on, Alcide.
Oh, shit, Tara-- ! - Gah, ugh.
- Lafayette, you okay? What in tarnation-- ? Oh, my God.
- Tara, what are you doing in there? Seriously, Sookie? This is your plan? To pretend none of it happened? Why don't we talk about it outside, alone? Why? Afraid he won't think you're so cute once he knows what you did? You know that's not why.
Tara, please.
- Aah! - Fuck off! Hey, Sookie and Lafayette are your friends.
They're trying to help you.
Turning me into a monster? I don't need that kind of help and I don't need yours either.
- Wait.
- All I can think about is ripping out y'all's fucking throats so stay the hell away from me, for your own sakes.
Or I swear to God, I'll do it.
Nothing's going on, huh? So I had a visit this evening.
From a certain chancellor.
Interesting.
What, you too? You know what they say about gentlemen.
They don't brag about sloppy seconds.
No.
What the hell does she want from us? I have no idea.
But something tells me she usually gets what she wants.
Did you have fun? They're not Sanguinista.
And how do you know that? Because Sanguinista aren't unshakable in their beliefs.
Mr.
Compton is still looking for something to believe in and Mr.
Northman, he only believes in himself.
I think we can trust them.
I'm not sure we can trust anyone anymore.
Nora confessed.
She is Sanguinist.
Roman.
Your dismissal of the vampire Bible your focus on mainstreaming above all else has divided vampires everywhere.
Perhaps it's time to consider a change of course.
That's exactly what they fucking want.
Recruiting one of my very own chancellors trying to undermine my Guardianship from the inside.
Mainstreaming is working.
It is changing the world.
If JFK or Martin Luther King had backed off civil rights-- Maybe they'd still be alive.
There have been assassination threats.
Uprising in Estonia, the Middle East.
The Sanguinista are organizing against you.
- I'm afraid for you, that's all.
- Don't be.
With you as my secret weapon, how can I lose? - What? - Just waiting on that gumbo.
Turning your own flesh and blood into a vampire.
Who does that? I hear you.
I'm standing right here.
Gumbo ain't ready yet.
Now get the fuck up out my kitchen.
Shame, Lafayette.
Shame on you.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No.
No.
She was trying to get to me.
Tara jumped in front.
- Debbie shot Tara? - I got the gun and I What, Sookie? Say it.
Say it.
I killed her.
You were never gonna tell me? You were gonna let me go looking for her, wondering what the hell happened? Yes.
Because you loved her.
You forgave her for everything.
- I didn't know what you were gonna do.
- Oh, bullshit! I have had your back since the day we met.
- You owe me more than lying to my face! - Alcide! - I'm sorry.
I wish I could-- - Shut up.
I don't wanna hear it.
I don't wanna hear another word.
I don't-- I don't have a right to ask, but I need to know what you're gonna do.
I need to know if you're gonna tell anyone.
You stupid bitch.
Ow! My nail.
Ugh.
Hey, hi! Ma'am, can you help me? Because I have never changed a tire before in my life.
Listen, I-- Heh.
I got no problem with vampires.
In fact, you know, I'm on your side.
I think that y'all should have the same rights that we do.
Oh, God, please.
I don't want to die.
Don't hurt me, please.
Let me go.
Just-- Do not do this.
You don't have to.
You could just let me go.
I'm sorry.
Russell Edgington alive.
What an epic fucking disaster! Allow me to take care of these traitors.
They will beg for the true death.
- Shouldn't we at least consider their proposal? - Since when do we negotiate with apostates?! If they think they can smoke out Russell Edgington - why not let them try? - The odds are they won't survive the fight.
And what kind of precedent does that set? Rewarding these traitors for what? Not following orders in the first place.
Exactly.
We cannot condone this blatant insubordination.
Rosalyn, you would sentence your own maker to the true death - if it served your political agenda.
- My maker was a pioneer a true mainstreamer, unlike some people.
Chancellors, thank you for your input.
Be assured that I will take it all under advisement.
Bless the blood.
Stay.
The Sanguinistas have turned Russell Edgington into some kind of hero for ripping out a man's spine on TV.
He has become the poster boy for the anti-mainstream movement their Osama bin Laden.
Do you know the one thing more dangerous than a martyr? A 3000-year-old vampire who hasn't fed in over a year.
Suffering does not kill the appetite for power.
It exacerbates it.
I've dedicated my Guardianship to the fight for coexistence and I will not see it go swirling down the shitter because of one ancient pissed-off psychopath.
- Do you understand what I am saying? - Absolutely, Guardian.
We'll bring him in.
Or die trying.
What do you think? Well, they put him in the ground once.
Send in the new Nan Flanagan.
It is an honor to be of service.
Pam.
Pam.
I need to talk to you in private.
Excuse me, but this is an emergency.
Excuse me, so is this.
My maker hasn't been home in four days - not that you give a shit.
- Eric's missing? Bill's demon spawn thinks they're on some kind of business trip but we both know the only business Eric ever has with King Bill is the kind that involves almost getting themselves killed protecting you.
Whatever they're up to has nothing to do with me.
Eric and I and Bill, we're over.
If only.
Pam, listen.
Asking you for help again is about the last thing I wanna do right now.
But Tara ran away.
She's too fast.
We can't catch her.
She's out there somewhere, scared, hungry.
We had a deal.
I held up my end of it.
You haven't done shit for me, Tinker Bell.
- So whatever you're asking-- - Pam, you're her maker.
All I need you to do is summon her.
Then we'll take her home and never bother you again.
I promise.
I'm not interested in you or that pathetic excuse for a vampire you had me make.
So get out of my bar before I suck you dry.
Find Tara! Agh! Fuck Tara and fuck you.
Crazy! What are you looking at? Go back to dry-humping each other and buying my overpriced drinks, or get the fuck out! - What the-- ? - Help me.
What happened to you? I'm hungry- Nan Flanagan, may the cold bitch rest in peace, went on CNN and told the world Russell Edgington had met the true death more than a year ago.
Tonight, however, we have learned that he is still very much alive.
Excuse me, sir, but says who? Elvis was spotted buying turkey jerky in a 7-Eleven in Yakima last Thursday but that doesn't mean he's still alive.
That just means people will believe anything they want to believe.
Humans are not rational.
They are 100 percent motivated by fear.
All they want is to feel safe, to know that they're good and right and they're gonna end up in a heaven full of puffy clouds with everybody they've ever loved wearing angel wings.
So you tell me what you want them to believe and I'll sell it to them.
Reverend Newlin, you have been a vampire now for, what, four months? And yet you find it funny to ridicule and underestimate the human race? The race that birthed all of us into existence? Is this some kind of joke? Reverend Newlin was recruited because of his connection to the Fellowship of the Sun.
With his influence in the religious right he'll be able to speak to people we never hoped to reach.
He can be valuable if we give him the chance.
Don't be nervous, Steve.
I was new once.
I get it.
All I wanted to do was feed, fuck and kill.
Took me centuries to realize that humans aren't just talking meat.
They're our ancestors.
None of us would be here without them.
Have you heard of the Sanguinista Movement? They believe that humans should be farmed like cattle, owned like slaves.
They believe in nothing.
They've learned nothing from history.
If we do not evolve if we continue to behave like fucking savages, the humans will rise up.
They will retaliate with their armies.
It is just a matter of time.
Right now this council is the only thing preventing a civil war.
That is why I need you, Steven.
If, for whatever reason, our sources are unable to bring Russell Edgington in quietly and he winds up on the TV threatening to eat children I will need a friendly, trustworthy vampire mainstreamer who knows how to work a crowd.
I won't let you down, sir.
You'd better not.
Make sure Mr.
Northman and Mr.
Compton are harnessed and thoroughly scanned.
We do not want a repeat of the necromancy bullshit.
I'll take care of it, Guardian.
Find out everything you can.
Now if you guys could take your shirts off for me, that'd be great.
What is that? We call it the iStake.
- That's catchy.
- Right? One click and this little sucker will pierce your heart faster than a bullet.
Wooden-tipped, of course.
All right, there you go.
Pinches a little, but you'll get used to it.
Imagine it's a training bra.
It's been a long time since I wore one.
How do you trigger these devices? - There's an app for that.
- You're joking.
Nope, so if you try to do something stupid like attack me or try and run away or whatever - click and splat.
- Efficient.
Same applies if you try and remove the harnesses, FYI.
These things are totally indestructible.
Waterproof, fireproof, yada, yada, yada.
Knows who you had for breakfast and where you go to ground so do yourselves a favor.
Don't fuck around, okay? You guys are too cute to be goo.
Thanks.
Shit, Sook, I looked everywhere.
Merlotte's? Her mama's? Merlotte's closed.
Lettie Mae ain't seen her.
- Did you tell them? - What was I gonna say? "Sorry, Auntie, I had your only daughter turned into a vampire.
And she may be brain-damaged too.
You're welcome.
" Not gonna stay a secret, not in this town.
Well, then we better figure out some story on how Tara got turned.
And one that don't include you blowing that were bitch's head off and me helping you dispose of her body.
State she in, she could be anywhere, telling anybody anything.
Not what she's telling people that I'm worried about.
The sun's gonna be coming up soon.
We gotta hope she's got enough sense to go to ground someplace safe.
Another one? - More.
Don't care if it's cold.
- You sure? - I'm starving.
- Tara, talk to me.
Tell me who did this to you.
- All right, I'm calling Lafayette.
- Mm-mm.
- Sookie? She's your best friend.
- Mm.
You don't wanna talk to me - you need to talk to someone.
- No! Do not fucking call them, Sam.
Don't tell them where I am.
Promise me.
Tara.
Tara.
Hey, hey, hey, whoa.
Tara? - Kevin, Rosie.
- Morning, Sheriff Bellefleur.
You been working out, hon? Uh-- Actually, I have been hitting the weights here and there.
Thanks for noticing.
Gotta watch that figure, huh? - Now that you're a local sex symbol.
- Rosie, shut up.
What are you talking about? What's she talking about? Answer me, or I'll have you patrolling park urinals the rest of the month.
Nice mug shot, sheriff.
- Is that Facebook?! - It is a real nice picture.
- I mean, from a photography standpoint.
- Shut up.
I'm sure the good people of Bon Temps will be real glad to know y'all are spending their hard-earned tax dollars surfing porno on the Internet! Get back to work! Sheriff Bellefleur? - What?! Gordon Pelt.
This is my wife, Barbara.
We're here to talk to you about our daughter, Debbie.
Sorry.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Pelt, thank you for coming.
Jimmy, on Aisle 3 there's a bag of dog food that opened.
Clean it up.
Miss Steeler? Jason Stackhouse.
It's been a long time.
It's 15 years.
Ha, ha.
I can't believe this.
Hey, the last I heard, you'd moved to Indiana and married a podiatrist.
A psychiatrist.
- We're divorced.
- Oh, sorry about that.
But you're back in Bon Temps.
That's awesome.
You still teaching? No, I quit a long time ago.
Wow, really? But you were so great at it.
I remember everything you ever taught me.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't I better get going.
Jason, don't.
I just need your help with something.
Crunchy or sweet? - Sweet.
- Mm.
I cried myself to sleep worrying about you, waiting for you to come home.
I know, and I'm sorry.
You deserve a lot better.
Look, whatever is going on with you and Patrick whatever y'all did over there, you can tell me.
I love you, Terry Bellefleur.
Ain't nothing you say is gonna change that.
Just tell me.
I can't.
I promised.
We promised a whole bunch of stuff in our wedding vows.
- Don't that count for nothing? - Of course it does, baby.
I don't want to lie to you.
I'm real bad at it anyway.
I'm gonna tell you as much as I can, okay? - Okay.
- I'm going somewhere with Patrick.
And we're leaving right now.
- Well, where to? - I can't tell you.
- What are you gonna do there? - I can't say.
- How long are you gonna be gone? - Don't know.
Okay, well, don't expect me to be waiting for you when you get back.
Morning, Arlene.
You didn't happen to see Tara last night? I got this.
Hey, peaches and cream.
Stop all that crying before you mess up your pretty mascara.
Lafayette, go away! - Now, is that a yes or a no on seeing Tara? - No! Sookie.
Hey.
- Didn't realize you were working today.
- Did you see Tara last night? No.
No.
No, why? I called you a bunch of times and never heard back.
I was hoping maybe she was with you.
SAM".
Look at her boobs.
The way she smells, think about that.
Anything but the walk-in-- Shit! Walk-in, walk-in, walk-in-- Damn it! Walk-in? Tara's in the walk-in? Fuck! Well, it was the only light-tight place I could think of.
- Why would you lie to me? - She made me promise not to tell you.
- Is she okay? - Hell, no! She's a vampire! From how pissed she was at you and Lafayette I guess you had something to do with that.
She was gonna die.
The less you know about all that, the better, for your own good.
If you hate me, it's fine.
Listen.
Hey, my brother died in my arms.
He wanted to go, but I can't help wondering if I should have fought harder.
The way I see it, you gave Tara another chance.
It may not be the kind of life she had in mind but it's up to her now what she wants to do with it.
Thank you.
For keeping her safe.
And everything.
Can I give you a hug without you thinking about my boobs? Probably not.
Oh, what the hell.
Go ahead.
He put my cousin in the fucking freezer.
Cold isn't gonna bother her any.
When they sleep, they're basically dead.
Have to make sure nobody opens this door till nightfall.
Yeah, and then what? It's like keeping a pet gator in a bathtub.
We can't handle her by ourselves.
- We're just gonna have to find a way.
Sookie? You working today? Because we got prep to do.
Coming.
We have something to satisfy even the most exotic fancies.
The chink, we call her Rubber Ruby.
Show the gentleman why, would you, darling? Mm.
Delightful.
Mm.
But it is you I came to see.
A good merchant doesn't compete with her merchandise, sir.
And a good customer knows everything has its price.
Goddamn them.
I am just a blood bag.
My life is meaningless.
Good little whore.
Now say, "Drain me, Daddy.
Drain me till I'm dead.
" Drain me, Daddy.
Drain me till I'm dead.
- Get your hands off of her! - William, don't.
Oh, Lorena.
You procreated.
Oh, and he is protective.
How sweet.
- Who are you? - Eric Northman.
But to you, the true death.
Aah! Eric, please.
He's new.
He doesn't understand.
I understand perfectly.
If Mr.
Northman wants a fight, he can fight a man.
Oh, he is brave and loyal.
Strong for one so young.
It would be a shame to waste a promising vampire simply because his maker failed to educate him on how to treat his elders.
- Thank you.
Mm.
We did not know this was your territory.
We deeply regret any inconvenience we may have caused.
It is the lady you owe the apology to.
And $500 for every girl you drained.
We are sorry.
Aren't we, William? You had better get him under control.
I believe we have a debt to settle.
Come on.
Psst.
Hey.
He's a cute kitty.
Oh, ha-ha-ha.
Don't take it personally.
Prince Charming doesn't like sharing me.
He used to pee in my ex-husband's shoes.
Prince Charming, huh? Well, that explains it.
Name like that's just too much to live up to.
So what's your life been like? Are you married? You have a girlfriend? Yeah, I ain't had the best of luck in that department.
One died right next to me.
One was married to a gay preacher.
Crystal was a Let's not even go there.
But right now I'm fuck buddies with the love of my best friend's life who's a teenage vampire.
And that's just all kinds of messed up.
But it's really great to see you.
I mean, really great.
I've thought about you a lot over the years.
- Me too.
- What happened between us was-- Amazing, I know.
I was gonna say wrong.
I made a terrible mistake.
I never meant to hurt you or take advantage of you.
Oh.
I'm so sorry.
Well, I'm not.
You taught me how to do the only thing I ever been great at.
Jason,no.
I don't care what you say.
That ain't no mistake.
- This ain't no mistake.
- Jason.
Oh, God.
- You found her car where? - In Bon Temps.
Off Hummingbird Lane.
Does she have any friends there? Friends? - I wouldn't say that.
- Well, what would you say? Our daughter's missing.
Far as we know, you're the last person who saw her.
Honey, calm down.
This isn't helping.
We know you two had a fight.
She called us.
Said she was coming home to Jackson, only she never showed up.
It was more than a fight.
I abjured her.
- You what? - Sorry to be the one to tell you but she's back on the blood.
Caught her running around on me again.
Abjuring her was the only way I knew how to end it for good.
You're lying.
She's been sober for over a year.
She wanted to marry you, have your cubs.
Screwing her new packmaster was a hell of a way of showing it.
That's my little girl you're talking about.
- If you hurt her, you son of a bitch-- - Gordon, stop.
I didn't do anything to Debbie.
She's probably holed up with some drainer getting loaded.
They found her wallet, Alcide.
All her money, her phone.
Now, I know Debbie's no angel.
Something's happened to her.
I can feel it.
ls there anything you can do to help us find her? We're at the Sunshine Inn.
Yeah.
I know her.
That's Debbie Pelt.
You seen her recently? Uh, about a week ago.
She gave me a ride to Shreveport to run some errands.
And you haven't seen her since? Did something happen to her? Been missing a few days.
We found her car abandoned about a quarter mile from your house.
That's weird.
Uh, Jason tells me that you said Debbie was bat-shit crazy.
What's that mean? Her boyfriend's a good friend of mine.
We try to get along, but we aren't BFFs.
She can be unpredictable.
Bet she didn't appreciate her boyfriend being friends with a single gal like you.
Or maybe you and this Alcide Herveaux were a little more than friends? - Andy, if you're suggesting-- - I ain't suggesting, I'm asking.
Was Debbie Pelt jealous of your relationship with her boyfriend? I don't know.
I do know she's a V addict.
She's paranoid and can be real nasty.
If something happened to her, I'm sorry, but she brought it on herself.
Why don't you tell that to her parents? They're here searching for their only daughter.
V addicts have parents too, and they deserve the same justice as me.
Or you.
Well, justice is your job, not mine.
So unless disliking someone's a crime and you're gonna arrest me for it - I gotta get back to work, okay? - For now.
- Hey, Sheriff Andy.
- Ms.
Cleary.
Speak to you outside? We're fucked.
And our asses is going to jail.
He doesn't know anything.
It didn't sound that way to me.
I listened to his thoughts.
He's more concerned about the size of his rear end right now than he is about Debbie Pelt.
Trust me.
I know you've been through a lot, but I need you to keep your eye on that walk-in and try and act like your normal, fabulous self.
Can you do that for me? Arlene! These beans is colder than titties in a brass bra.
Come on, now.
Shit.
Well, all right.
Jesus, what's your problem? I never seen her before.
How about this one? On Facebook? Oh, I'm gonna skin those brats alive.
I'll make sure they take it down before anyone else sees it.
Facebook already took it down.
Don't matter, though.
I could walk down Main Street naked with a bag on my head.
- Folks would still know it was me.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
No, don't worry about it.
Town like this, people will stop talking about it in 15 years.
Anyway, uh, now that the, ha, ha, cat's out of the bag uh if you wanna, I don't know take whatever this is to the next level we got nothing to lose.
Sheriff Andy, are you asking me to go steady? I guess I am.
Well, you-- ? You realize I'm a witch, right? My kids are delinquents.
I live in a motel.
Well, I live with my grandma.
And I'm an alcoholic and a recovering V addict and the laughing stock of the Renard Parish Sheriff's Department.
How'd we get so lucky? Wow.
That was-- I had no idea how much I needed that.
I got half a box of wine in the cooler.
Want some? You-- You were right.
What we did back then, it was a mistake.
Jason, wait.
Don't leave.
Jason.
Goodbye, Miss Steeler.
Thank you for joining me, Mr.
Compton.
Did I have a choice? There are always choices.
Are you comfortable in your new quarters? As comfortable as one can be with a stake against his heart.
Necessary precaution.
I'm sure you understand.
Walk with me? Do you know who I am? You're Salome.
Beheader of John the Baptist - dancer of the seven veils.
- Heh.
Don't believe everything you read.
The human Bible, it's little better than Us Weekly.
They made me a convenient villain, a symbol for dangerous female sexuality.
But I was just a girl.
With a severely fucked-up family.
So you didn't ask for a man's head on a silver platter? Politics.
John denounced my mother's remarriage to my uncle, the king.
She wanted him silenced.
So she saw an opportunity in her new husband's fondness for teenage virgins.
The trade was her idea.
Your mother traded your body for revenge.
And the dance of the seven veils? They wrapped me in sheer scarves when I was delivered to my uncle's bed.
I suppose you can call what followed a dance of sorts.
The humans of my youth, they were far more savage than any vampires I've known.
Anyway the world's different now, and so am I.
And yet you still have the attention of the Guardian.
And you still have the power to send men to their deaths.
So perhaps not that much has changed after all.
I like you, Mr.
Compton.
I've been tracking your political career for some time and your rise has been quite impressive.
Well, I am flattered.
Though why someone of your stature would be interested in a small-town monarch such as myself is a mystery to me.
Humility is for humans.
Do you know what I admire the most about you? Clearly not my ability to take orders.
Your heart.
You still let it rule you.
A rare quality amongst our kind.
We've become so jaded.
We celebrate our own cynicism.
I want to help you.
- Why? - Because something about you moves me.
And in over 2000 years, I've learned to trust that feeling.
The question is can I trust you? How can I prove it to you when you already have my life in your hands? Perhaps by taking my life in yours.
- What do you think? - Heh.
Honey, you are hotter than barbecue Tabasco sauce in that dress.
But if you're doing all this for Jason Stackhouse trust me, you don't gotta work so hard.
- What's that supposed to mean? - There ain't no nice way of saying this but God gave that boy a penis and a brain, only enough blood to run one at a time.
Well, you don't know him.
He's actually a really good guy.
Sweetie, I've known him all my life.
You seem like a nice vampire.
I just don't want to see you get hurt.
That's all.
Really? Because I think you just want me to know that you and Jason fooled around and that he dumped you.
- Which I can't say I blame him for.
- Ahem.
If you want me to spend my daddy's money in your Podunk store I suggest you stop talking shit about my friends.
Okay, sweetie? Yes, ma'am.
I'll get this one and one in red.
And those shoes.
Thanks.
Hi.
Welcome to Tracy's Togs.
I'm Tracy.
How can I help you? I'm picking up an order.
Garter belts.
These for your girlfriend or your wife? - My sisters.
- You sure got a lot of sisters.
- Sixteen.
- Heh.
You smell awesome.
What are you? Wait, wait, wait.
Hey, you gotta pay for that dress! Hey, where'd you go? Hey, I can smell you! Everywhere.
I know you.
Yeah, you're Jessica's.
No, not anymore.
Honey, the eyeliner, the desperation.
They'll eat you alive in here.
That's what I'm hoping for.
What's it like being what you are? Oh It would take several of your lifetimes to answer that question.
Then make me a vampire and we'll have all the time in the world.
You don't know what you're asking.
Yes, I do.
I'm not afraid.
And I can see that.
Most humans beg me to spare their lives, and you want me to take yours.
I want you to give me one worth living.
Well, you seem to be doing quite well for yourself.
Your profession may not be glamorous, but it's more honest than most.
Do you know what happens to women like me when we get old? We're pariahs.
We die alone in the dark.
Syphilis, TB.
If you had any idea what kind of life awaits me you wouldn't hesitate to turn me.
If you had any idea of the responsibility that comes with being a maker you wouldn't dare ask.
Then make me and leave me.
I'll take care of myself.
I always have.
Would you toss a newborn baby in a gutter? Abandoning a new vampire is no different.
Becoming a maker's an eternal commitment.
Greater than any marriage deeper than any human bond.
To throw that away is sacrilege.
An honorable vampire? Isn't that a contradiction? No more than an intelligent whore, yet here we are.
Pamela.
What have you done? Let me walk the world with you, Mr.
Northman.
Or watch me die.
Sheriff Northman.
Good evening.
Thank you, chancellor, for your support at the hearing.
We owe you our lives.
Oh, you can stop performing.
I have this room swept for bugs daily.
We can be ourselves here.
Please, sit down.
You surprise me.
And that doesn't happen very often.
I expected you to at least try and save her.
- Who? - Your sister.
Don't worry, your secret is safe.
Even Nora has no idea I know.
- How? - Godric.
Oh, he was glorious.
Well, before he lost his way.
He loved you the most.
And now I see why.
So Nora risked everything for you.
And you're willing to let us execute her for it? - What choice do I have? - There are always choices.
Godric gave you one while you bled out on that pyre.
Be his companion or die.
Are you lonely? Is this how you make friends? Friends you can trust are a rare commodity.
I sponsored Nora's chancellorship.
- Did you know that? - Mm.
I mentored her.
So her betrayal makes you look particularly bad.
You're cold.
It is because you've been hurt.
And that wound is still fresh.
I heal quickly.
Perhaps I can help you speed that along.
What do you want from me? You know what I want.
I want to be your friend.
But it's what you want that intrigues me.
You killed Hayes conspired with known Sanguinistas to aid in Compton and Northman's escape.
As we say in Texas, honey: If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing you do is stop digging.
And as we say in Surrey, sod the fuck off, you cunting twat.
Here's my theory.
I think you did it all for love.
So which one is it, hmm? The sheriff or the king? Both? Well, see, now, that's a sandwich I'd take a bite out of anytime.
Well, since their lives apparently mean nothing to you we'll just go ahead and activate their iStakes.
Wait! Yes, I believe vampires were made in God's image.
I believe that mainstreaming is an abomination.
And I believe that Lilith will rise from The Blood and rip your blasphemous fucking heads off and dance in your muck.
Good girl.
Now, doesn't that make you feel better, hmm? Hey, I just had the weirdest experience.
Yeah, so did I.
There was this guy, and I could smell his blood.
Sorry, I know that grosses you out, but it smelled like cotton candy and fresh-baked bread and fucking sex.
The most delicious thing I've ever smelled in my life.
- Why are you telling me this? - Because after he ran away all I could think about was you.
Just inside of me.
- Heh.
- Just-- What? Nothing.
Nothing.
Let's do this.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry, is there something wrong? - You know what? Yeah.
I ain't some mechanical bull you can come and ride on whenever you feel like it.
What the hell happened to you today? Uh, let's see.
Uh, well, I realized I got this big fucking hole inside of me that I've been filling with sex, and Because that's what I got taught to do.
Because I was too fucking young and it felt too fucking good and it made it all go away.
But it ain't working no more.
And I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling.
I can't do this right now.
Just go.
Jason, we don't have to have sex.
We could just talk.
I just want to be your friend.
See, the minute you do that my dick starts screaming, "Dude, just shut up and fuck her.
" I can't be friends with a girl.
I don't know how.
Yeah, you do.
You already are.
I'm gonna put on your sweats and you're gonna grab a beer.
Then you're gonna tell me what the hell happened today.
And maybe I'll have some advice.
Maybe I'll just listen.
See? It's that easy.
Hello? Somebody in here? Rise and shine.
Breakfast is ready.
Come on, now, hooker, drink.
We gotta get you out of here.
Oh, ow! Don't fucking touch me.
- They found her car near your house.
- I heard.
She's back on the V.
I don't know what she's capable of.
Thanks for the warning, but I gotta work.
I tell you Russell's on the loose, you throw me out of your house.
I tell you Debbie's MIA, maybe gunning for you you act like it's no big deal.
I get you're tough.
That don't mean you have to be stupid.
I appreciate you caring.
It doesn't mean you get to talk to me like that.
- Excuse me.
- Hey! There's something going on here.
There's something you're not telling me, and I want to know why.
- Nothing's going on, Alcide.
Oh, shit, Tara-- ! - Gah, ugh.
- Lafayette, you okay? What in tarnation-- ? Oh, my God.
- Tara, what are you doing in there? Seriously, Sookie? This is your plan? To pretend none of it happened? Why don't we talk about it outside, alone? Why? Afraid he won't think you're so cute once he knows what you did? You know that's not why.
Tara, please.
- Aah! - Fuck off! Hey, Sookie and Lafayette are your friends.
They're trying to help you.
Turning me into a monster? I don't need that kind of help and I don't need yours either.
- Wait.
- All I can think about is ripping out y'all's fucking throats so stay the hell away from me, for your own sakes.
Or I swear to God, I'll do it.
Nothing's going on, huh? So I had a visit this evening.
From a certain chancellor.
Interesting.
What, you too? You know what they say about gentlemen.
They don't brag about sloppy seconds.
No.
What the hell does she want from us? I have no idea.
But something tells me she usually gets what she wants.
Did you have fun? They're not Sanguinista.
And how do you know that? Because Sanguinista aren't unshakable in their beliefs.
Mr.
Compton is still looking for something to believe in and Mr.
Northman, he only believes in himself.
I think we can trust them.
I'm not sure we can trust anyone anymore.
Nora confessed.
She is Sanguinist.
Roman.
Your dismissal of the vampire Bible your focus on mainstreaming above all else has divided vampires everywhere.
Perhaps it's time to consider a change of course.
That's exactly what they fucking want.
Recruiting one of my very own chancellors trying to undermine my Guardianship from the inside.
Mainstreaming is working.
It is changing the world.
If JFK or Martin Luther King had backed off civil rights-- Maybe they'd still be alive.
There have been assassination threats.
Uprising in Estonia, the Middle East.
The Sanguinista are organizing against you.
- I'm afraid for you, that's all.
- Don't be.
With you as my secret weapon, how can I lose? - What? - Just waiting on that gumbo.
Turning your own flesh and blood into a vampire.
Who does that? I hear you.
I'm standing right here.
Gumbo ain't ready yet.
Now get the fuck up out my kitchen.
Shame, Lafayette.
Shame on you.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No.
No.
She was trying to get to me.
Tara jumped in front.
- Debbie shot Tara? - I got the gun and I What, Sookie? Say it.
Say it.
I killed her.
You were never gonna tell me? You were gonna let me go looking for her, wondering what the hell happened? Yes.
Because you loved her.
You forgave her for everything.
- I didn't know what you were gonna do.
- Oh, bullshit! I have had your back since the day we met.
- You owe me more than lying to my face! - Alcide! - I'm sorry.
I wish I could-- - Shut up.
I don't wanna hear it.
I don't wanna hear another word.
I don't-- I don't have a right to ask, but I need to know what you're gonna do.
I need to know if you're gonna tell anyone.
You stupid bitch.