Comic Book Men s05e04 Episode Script
Bryan Gets Bit
Have you guys ever thought about what the next phase of human evolution will be? Yeah, I think we won't need to eat anymore.
Like, we can absorb nutrients through touch.
And then and we won't have any waste anymore either.
- Really? - Yeah, for sure.
So you're saying our buttholes will close up and won't and then won't be there no more? Oh, you know, maybe.
- Yeah, you like that? - I like that.
- What do you think? - I mean, how does one compete with, like, you know, the disappearing butthole? [all laugh.]
I feel like I'm sitting next to God himself.
[all laugh.]
Oh, I mean, can you imagine being up on a college stage, and he's like, "I believe, "in a thousand years from now, we will no longer need buttholes"? [all laugh.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
Hello, welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that keeps the Pym Particle in its pants.
- I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
- Okay, man.
People come, people go.
What'd they bring in or take away? The most unusual item I've ever seen.
[upbeat music.]
- Hey, how you doing? - Hey, how's it going? - What's up? - I think I got something you might be interested in.
Amazing Spider-Man, Incredible Hulk toilet paper from 1979.
Holy crap.
If you're Marvel, there's no bigger names in the Marvel library at this point than Hulk and Spider-Man you're like - It's it's a little - It's really weird that you'd be like, "Yeah, we'd like to have, you know, you soil it.
" [all laugh.]
No.
No, really? Wiping your butt with Earth's mightiest mortals? Oh, really? These are our greatest, most shining icons! Let's deface them in a way we never would and Put them in the ultimate worst place! [laughter.]
The ultimate villain.
[all laugh.]
- Where did you get it? - I got it in a kind of high-stakes Secret Santa I do with my friends.
We should have a high-stakes Secret Santa here - It's pretty fun.
- If this is the kind of stuff that your people are getting.
- Can I open it? - Yeah, go ahead.
I feel like I should dial "9" and "1" just in case what you see inside is so exciting we gotta hit the other "1.
" [laughter.]
All right, I'm gonna open it up.
Oh! Look at that.
And it's called "The Gamma Gambit.
" This is probably the only story that I didn't read in the '70s that Marvel put out.
This is the one that got away.
And this is the why you gotta get it.
Lookit, it's epic each individual sheet has panels.
If you were really hungry for the story, you're gonna be taking laxatives and whatever, - just so you - [laughter.]
Just to read this story! [laughter.]
That might be the rarest Spider-Man/Hulk story ever because it's never been reprinted.
I would venture that it's been read by just a fraction of comic book fans in the world today.
And ironically, that story could be the (bleep).
[all laugh.]
Do you think it wou it couldn't be in color because - Yeah.
- Maybe it wouldn't be healthy to have all the dye.
Goes right into the bloodstream.
- Right into your openings.
- Yep.
[laughter.]
Well, how far up exactly do you put it? - I mean, now - [all laugh.]
All right, I mean, I definitely definitely am interested.
What are you looking to get for it? I was hoping to get $100.
Would you take $40? $40.
$40 is I would go down to$75.
I feel like you're interested in it.
Oh, you think? [all laugh.]
So maybe you'll be willing to go up a little bit on it.
That's a keen student of human nature, this guy.
- Yeah.
- I know.
How about $50? You'll never be offered that in your life ever again.
All right, I can't turn that down 50 bucks.
All right.
- $50.
Thank you.
- Thank you very much.
Pleasure doing business with you guys.
- Thanks.
- Ooh, baby.
You don't see me for a couple of hours a day, it's 'cause I got some reading to do.
[all laugh.]
[funky music.]
This past summer, every day, you'd turn the TV on, there was a new shark attack.
Sharks were in a frenzy.
More so than usual.
I mean, sometimes it goes years without an attack, but yeah, this past summer, there were quite a few, yeah.
It was every other day, it felt like.
I mean, some were even caught on TV.
Yeah, but, I mean, it's particularly noticeable on the 40th anniversary of "Jaws" being released.
Suddenly a spate of shark attacks? Oh, maybe it wasn't a coincidence, you're saying? No, I'm saying it was a curse.
The "Jaws" curse.
[all laugh.]
I was reading that the guy who's got the largest collection of screen-used props from "Jaws" is opening up his collection for auction.
- Really? - Yeah.
That's right up your alley.
I mean, you should even try to buy something.
What alley? - Wh-what? - Him, buy something? - Yeah! - He doesn't collect anything.
He has no interests.
He has no hobbies.
- He has no alleys.
- [all laugh.]
I know you love "Jaws," though.
Ah, this could be my thank you.
Just because I haven't discovered an alley yet doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.
If you're gonna collect anything, man, collect "Jaws.
" One of the greatest motion pictures ever made.
Changed the summer movie forever.
And boy, oh, boy, man.
Whether that shark looked real or not, terrifying.
I got out of the water after that.
I haven't been swimming in the ocean since I was five 'cause of "Jaws.
" It was a lot like "Star Wars" in terms of that, like, group consciousness.
It was the first movie I'd ever seen in theaters twice, and I mean, while I was eight.
[all laugh.]
Well, if I'm gonna collect anything, you know, it would be this or "The Shining," and since you haven't read anything about a guy with a "Shining" collection I think we should go.
I want to see you buying something that is part of your hobby.
I would love to go up there.
We should go up there.
It close it's nearby? It's not too far away.
It's up in Cornwall, New York.
You know what I've always said, man.
A healthy collection keeps away the infection.
I've heard you say that once today.
[all laugh.]
This the rarest production of this.
You basically have a home run.
- Was I lying? - This is awesome.
Wow! - How you doing? - How you guys doing today? Oh, pretty good.
I have something that you definitely want to see.
This is the 1978 Darth Vader with double-telescoping lightsaber.
Double-telescoping? The Holy Grail of "Star Wars" collectibles.
Oh, my God, I didn't think they existed.
I've never seen one.
I've only heard about it.
Show my ignorant friend over here what it means to have a double-telescoping Darth Vader.
So when you take it out Okay, I remember that.
They all do that, right? - Yeah, well, watch, watch.
- And then this comes out - Oh, my God.
- They only made a limited run of these 'cause Kenner found out they were too expensive, so they stopped making the double and went to a single.
And how many of these are there in the system? Uh, 22, I believe, loose? - 22? - Mm-hmm.
- Known? - Known.
I've never seen that one.
I didn't know that that was a variant.
My Darth Vader had a lightsaber came out of his hand, and it had a little stick on the end of it.
Little French tickler on the end.
Yes, there was a bit of a French tickler at the head of it.
I had a French tickler Darth Vader too when I was little, and I thought this one looked like the one I had.
So is that this? No, it was a double extension.
You would push it outwards, and the lightsaber would grow.
- With a French tickler on it? - Yes.
What do you mean, French tickler? [all laugh.]
Let that ride, dude.
We can't explain that.
[laughter.]
- Where did you get it? - My mom, 1978, bought it for me.
$1.
29.
Whew.
Are you here to try to sell it today? I am on a mission to sell this today.
Would you have any objection if I called somebody in, take a look at it for me? 'Cause if this is what you claim it is, a real, legit double-telescoping Darth Vader, before I even start, I want to bring in my expert.
All right, sure, yeah.
Make that call.
All right, man.
Chill out for one second.
Let me give him a call.
You can't be talking purchasing loose figures unless you Che in first with Mr.
Popculturizm, Rob Bruce.
You know, as a rule, the Stash is usually not interested in loose figures, but when that loose figure may be the Holy Grail of loose figures? You've got to throw away the rule book, and just play it by ear.
Is it an entire book that just says, "We don't buy loose figures"? - [all laugh.]
- That's like a Post-it.
- Yeah.
- [all laugh.]
- How you doing? Pleasure.
- Good to meet you.
I'm Robert.
Uh, you said that, uh, - you got this for Christmas - Yep.
- When you were a kid.
- Right off the shelf.
It's great to see a piece like this survive that capsule of time.
Looks like you're lifting up the skirt there.
- What are you looking for? - Just to make sure it's the right manufacturing mark, Hong Kong.
Are there people trying to fake these? Absolutely.
"Star Wars" is incredibly hot right now.
It's the Cadillac of toys.
Carded figures are bringing prices that nobody's ever seen.
It's a great figure.
I mean - So if I was - What do you need to know? Is it legit? It looks 100% legit.
This is the rarest production of this.
Basically you have a home run.
There's no way around it.
But you know, its value is very subjective.
What I see, from time and time again, the Holy Grail is All of a sudden, somebody opens up a door and there's 400 of 'em.
The market goes soft.
Now will that happen with this? Probably not.
But the fact that there's, like, 22 known, 25 known, I think that number goes up every day.
Wow.
Um what do you want for it? I'm looking for $4,000 for it.
$4,000.
I'd feel comfortable offering you today $1,100.
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
[laughter.]
See, I've heard this referred to as the Holy Grail, and King Arthur wouldn't lowball somebody to get the Holy Grail.
There's a lot of Holy Grails.
King Arthur was only looking for one.
Could think $3,700.
Could we go $3,700? $1,500 for it.
If you're not interested in $1,500, I-I would have to think that the Stash is out.
Robert, if you have any interest, I'm out.
I could offer you $1,800.
Um I don't know, man.
I, uh I don't think you're the droids I'm looking for.
- Don't think I can do it.
- All right, man, well, - sorry it couldn't happen.
- Thank you.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you very much.
- All right.
- Take care, guys.
- See you later.
- Wow.
Quint's jacket, hat.
This is the jacket that he wore.
- Quint's coat? - This is awesome.
- How does it look? - Wow.
Favorite Spielberg movie, man.
Hands down for me, it's "Jaws.
" Saw it when I was five.
Watched it just the other week.
Still holds up.
Well, I know you'd say, man - No contest.
- How much do we love "Jaws"? - More than I love my family.
- You know what I'm saying? Sometimes I look at my wife and I'm like, "You're pretty perfect, but 'Jaws' is perfect.
" - [all laugh.]
- Yeah, exactly.
Ming, your favorite Spielberg movie of all time.
It's gotta be "Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
" Really? That one over "E.
T.
"? Yeah, I just think the darker tone, Devil's Tower I mean, isn't it like the alien's on screen for like, what, 30 seconds? Oh, he doesn't show you an alien until the last, like, two minutes.
And it worked, like, in 1979.
Then when he gets to "E.
T.
," the first minute, he's like, "Here's your alien.
" [laughter.]
What about you, man? It's gotta be "Jaws.
" Uh uh you're No, it's not "Jaws.
" - I-I mean, you guys - I'm about to flip this table unless you say "Jaws.
" What what could it be? Uh, "Jaws 2.
" [all laugh.]
I don't want you flippin' no tables.
You sure this is the right place? This can't possibly be the right address.
It I-I know it doesn't look like much.
It doesn't look like anything.
We're pulling up to what's supposed to be the "Jaws" museum, and it just looks like some abandoned warehouse.
Well, aside from the "Jaws" museum, it was an abandoned warehouse.
[all laugh.]
Was I lying? See? - No.
- Looks can be deceiving.
- This is pretty cool.
- Amity Island.
- This way.
- This way.
- This is awesome.
- Hey.
- Hey, how are ya? - Good.
I'm Chris Kiska.
I'm the owner of the largest collection in the world of original "Jaws" memorabilia.
- Hey, how you doing? - How you doing, Chris? Pleasure to have you guys here.
- Thank you.
- Hey, how are ya? I'm sure if you're familiar with the movie "Jaws," you're gonna see a lot of stuff here that you recognize.
We're looking to start him on a road to collecting, and he wants to have a collection - that will rival yours one day.
- Wow.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
I'll have a collection that rivals this by the time I'm 82.
- You'll have 35 years to - I couldn't possibly! He has all the, like, one-of-a-kind, original stuff.
[laughter.]
I'll never succeed.
[laughter.]
There's a lot of stuff.
This dude has a lot of stuff, like, the original props.
Screen-used props.
From "Jaws.
" You know how rare that is? That's Ra that's as rare as a unicorn humping a Sasquatch while Martians look on.
[all laugh.]
So what was the first piece you picked up? Um, the first piece was the harpoon gun.
And at five years old, you know, having the harpoon gun, of course you need the barrels and the tank, and the list goes on and on.
- Five years old? - Yeah, my dad's actually the one who created the harpoon gun.
And they just happened to, you know, rent it for the movie, and that's what started me on my quest.
You were a five-year-old with a functioning harpoon gun? - Yeah.
- [all laugh.]
I mean, I worked for it.
It was a guerilla-made movie, so every time they shot something, they left it all behind.
- Just like, trashing it? - Yeah.
The stuff just got discarded.
It was, you know, valueless at the time.
I went door to door, you know, tracking stuff down, 'cause there was no Internet, there was no cell phones.
It was almost like a U.
S.
-wide scavenger hunt.
Wow.
So anything capture your fancy, Bry? You got some of the shark jaws.
That's the stunt M1 Garand that was actually used when Roy Scheider was up on the mast.
You know, is that is that a first edition "Jaws" novel that Peter Benchley Yep, and it's the only cover he ever signed.
What about the cage? Is that Yeah, that's what's left of the cage.
Uh, the pods on there, the floatation, is not real.
This flashlight, is that the one with Ben Ben Gardner? That's no, actually, that was Quint's flashlight that was actually thrown up to him by the mate when they were leaving.
- And that's Quint's jacket, hat.
- Quint's coat? This is the jacket that he wore? Yep, he actually wore that jacket, and that's the hero machete that he used to stab the shark.
Is that the hero beer? [all laugh.]
Personally, I think you'd be crazy not to go after that coat.
It does seem like a no-brainer, eh? I mean, is he allowed to to put it on? Oh, yeah, absolutely.
The actual costume? - Yes.
- Wow, man! That's like somebody going, like, "Here.
Hold on to Darth Vader's lightsaber.
" Uh, I can't believe it's not in the, uh - A museum! Why is this - Right? The Smithsonian.
In the Smithsonian, yeah! This is the Smithsonian of "Jaws" stuff, I guess.
It belongs in the Kevin Smithsonian, I'll tell you that much right now! Oh.
It says "R.
Shaw" on it, look.
- Robert Shaw.
- Oh, wow, man.
- That's awesome.
- Man.
- Whoa, careful, careful.
- If you were to tell third-grade Bryan Johnson that he'd get to wear this jacket one day? Your whole life might've been changed.
- How does it look? - Yeah.
- It's actually kinda close.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- There's a lot of blood "It's got black eyes, like a doll's eyes.
" [all laugh.]
All right, what do you think, man? - Maybe $100? - Oh, price? It would probably start at probably about $80,000.
- Wow.
- No! Really? I mean, if I knew that's where the bidding started, I would've never even gotten in the car.
[all laugh.]
You can't get discouraged.
It doesn't mean you're You're not gonna walk out of here with something.
- That's true, all right.
- This is the day that forever changes your life.
You're in the ballpark, right? But you're not on the field.
I'm outside the stadium still.
I'm talking to a hot dog vendor.
Do you have anything maybe for the thrifty collector? You mean "destitute," right? I'm ranking the greatest TV detectives ever, and I wanted to get some of your input.
What are the parameters? - They had to be on TV.
- Okay.
They had to be a detective.
- Okay.
- There you go.
[all laugh.]
- Magnum, P.
I.
- Magnum, P.
I.
- Magnum, P.
I.
, Tom Selleck.
- Tom Selleck.
- He drove a cool car.
- It was a Ferrari, yeah.
What was cooler, the 'stache or the car? This Stash? Oh, the mustache.
[all laugh.]
Okay ah, jeez.
That's that's tough.
Who didn't want that mustache? I mean, I tried so hard to grow out that luscious 'stache, and mine was just so weak and and and flimsy.
It was just that's hard to do, get a 'stache like that.
- Oh, yeah, definitely.
- Ooh.
Mike, you're getting there though! - Yeah.
- [all laugh.]
What about you? I would go Jim Rockford.
- [laughs.]
- Whoa.
I thought for sure you would've went with Starsky and Hutch.
That's why, you know, I show you guys so much love - and so much, like, camaraderie.
- Yeah.
Because, you know, I learned it through "Starsky & Hutch.
" He learned it through "Magnum, P.
I.
" Giving Ming mustache rides all the time.
[all laugh.]
Oh! Oh, my God! You didn't start off with all this stuff, right? You had to start off with one piece, - one step at at time.
- Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I'm still picking up stuff to this day.
Exactly.
You work your way up.
All right.
Welcome to the collecting game, Big.
He doesn't yet know the joy of the journey, you know? You start small, and one day? You might have a healthy, vital collection.
If he walks out of there with something that he can proudly display, this could be a life-changing moment.
Healthier living, through "Jaws.
" [all laugh.]
What else do we got that might be, uh - Oh, yeah.
- More suited to a man - Of this budget? - Yeah.
- We have a tank.
- What does that go for? - Probably $50,000.
- Oh, wow.
- What about the harpoon gun? - $100,000.
- More than the jacket? - Oh, yeah.
The machete, probably 20 grand.
The M1 Garand, $18,000.
What about the empty can of beer? Empty can would probably go 6 grand.
- Oh.
- Wow.
Right, well, you're in the ballpark, right? But you're not on the field.
- I'm outside the stadium still.
- Just the parking lot.
I'm talking to a hot dog vendor.
Maybe we move down and see if there's something else perhaps that Well, in the next case we have most of the original pieces from the "Orca.
" Something tells me the "Orca," it's not cheaper than the can of beer.
[all laugh.]
What about one of those beat-up barrels? - They can't go for much.
- [scoffs.]
Oh, yeah, these barrels would probably start at auction about $20,000.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
So that's $100,000 in barrels [laughter.]
Sitting right there.
I'm watching Bryan, you know, get priced out on every single thing.
Yeah, it's like, "I want to collect 'Jaws.
' Just not that, that, that, that, none of these.
" I am determined, he is gonna walk out of there with something.
You're going to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
Ooh.
[laughter.]
What about, like, a shirt? What does a shirt go for? That's an original cast production shirt.
Probably start at $3,000.
- Ooh.
- Wow.
Do you have anything maybe for the thrifty collector? By "thrifty," you mean "destitute," right? [all laugh.]
So you can't get the Quint jacket.
You can't get the harpoon gun.
You can't get a barrel.
Just when things were looking hairy, Chris found something for us and Bryan walked home with his very first piece of "Jaws" merchandise.
Nice! What is it? That is the baddest-ass thimble that's ever been produced.
I mean, the only other one I've ever seen is in a Monopoly game, so [all laugh.]
No! Really? - Yeah.
- You're like the Little Tailor.
It's the small steps.
I mean, you you have to You have to start somewhere.
- That's true, man.
- You never know.
You may have a barrel one day.
Or a sewing box.
[all laugh.]
I just love how you went in there trying to get a big collectible, and you bought literally the smallest thing in there.
- Do you love it? - [all laugh.]
Oh, and just like Cap'n Quint, it's all over for us, man.
For "Comic Book Men," I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
We're gonna need a bigger boat, kids.
Good night.
Like, we can absorb nutrients through touch.
And then and we won't have any waste anymore either.
- Really? - Yeah, for sure.
So you're saying our buttholes will close up and won't and then won't be there no more? Oh, you know, maybe.
- Yeah, you like that? - I like that.
- What do you think? - I mean, how does one compete with, like, you know, the disappearing butthole? [all laugh.]
I feel like I'm sitting next to God himself.
[all laugh.]
Oh, I mean, can you imagine being up on a college stage, and he's like, "I believe, "in a thousand years from now, we will no longer need buttholes"? [all laugh.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
Hello, welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that keeps the Pym Particle in its pants.
- I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
- Okay, man.
People come, people go.
What'd they bring in or take away? The most unusual item I've ever seen.
[upbeat music.]
- Hey, how you doing? - Hey, how's it going? - What's up? - I think I got something you might be interested in.
Amazing Spider-Man, Incredible Hulk toilet paper from 1979.
Holy crap.
If you're Marvel, there's no bigger names in the Marvel library at this point than Hulk and Spider-Man you're like - It's it's a little - It's really weird that you'd be like, "Yeah, we'd like to have, you know, you soil it.
" [all laugh.]
No.
No, really? Wiping your butt with Earth's mightiest mortals? Oh, really? These are our greatest, most shining icons! Let's deface them in a way we never would and Put them in the ultimate worst place! [laughter.]
The ultimate villain.
[all laugh.]
- Where did you get it? - I got it in a kind of high-stakes Secret Santa I do with my friends.
We should have a high-stakes Secret Santa here - It's pretty fun.
- If this is the kind of stuff that your people are getting.
- Can I open it? - Yeah, go ahead.
I feel like I should dial "9" and "1" just in case what you see inside is so exciting we gotta hit the other "1.
" [laughter.]
All right, I'm gonna open it up.
Oh! Look at that.
And it's called "The Gamma Gambit.
" This is probably the only story that I didn't read in the '70s that Marvel put out.
This is the one that got away.
And this is the why you gotta get it.
Lookit, it's epic each individual sheet has panels.
If you were really hungry for the story, you're gonna be taking laxatives and whatever, - just so you - [laughter.]
Just to read this story! [laughter.]
That might be the rarest Spider-Man/Hulk story ever because it's never been reprinted.
I would venture that it's been read by just a fraction of comic book fans in the world today.
And ironically, that story could be the (bleep).
[all laugh.]
Do you think it wou it couldn't be in color because - Yeah.
- Maybe it wouldn't be healthy to have all the dye.
Goes right into the bloodstream.
- Right into your openings.
- Yep.
[laughter.]
Well, how far up exactly do you put it? - I mean, now - [all laugh.]
All right, I mean, I definitely definitely am interested.
What are you looking to get for it? I was hoping to get $100.
Would you take $40? $40.
$40 is I would go down to$75.
I feel like you're interested in it.
Oh, you think? [all laugh.]
So maybe you'll be willing to go up a little bit on it.
That's a keen student of human nature, this guy.
- Yeah.
- I know.
How about $50? You'll never be offered that in your life ever again.
All right, I can't turn that down 50 bucks.
All right.
- $50.
Thank you.
- Thank you very much.
Pleasure doing business with you guys.
- Thanks.
- Ooh, baby.
You don't see me for a couple of hours a day, it's 'cause I got some reading to do.
[all laugh.]
[funky music.]
This past summer, every day, you'd turn the TV on, there was a new shark attack.
Sharks were in a frenzy.
More so than usual.
I mean, sometimes it goes years without an attack, but yeah, this past summer, there were quite a few, yeah.
It was every other day, it felt like.
I mean, some were even caught on TV.
Yeah, but, I mean, it's particularly noticeable on the 40th anniversary of "Jaws" being released.
Suddenly a spate of shark attacks? Oh, maybe it wasn't a coincidence, you're saying? No, I'm saying it was a curse.
The "Jaws" curse.
[all laugh.]
I was reading that the guy who's got the largest collection of screen-used props from "Jaws" is opening up his collection for auction.
- Really? - Yeah.
That's right up your alley.
I mean, you should even try to buy something.
What alley? - Wh-what? - Him, buy something? - Yeah! - He doesn't collect anything.
He has no interests.
He has no hobbies.
- He has no alleys.
- [all laugh.]
I know you love "Jaws," though.
Ah, this could be my thank you.
Just because I haven't discovered an alley yet doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.
If you're gonna collect anything, man, collect "Jaws.
" One of the greatest motion pictures ever made.
Changed the summer movie forever.
And boy, oh, boy, man.
Whether that shark looked real or not, terrifying.
I got out of the water after that.
I haven't been swimming in the ocean since I was five 'cause of "Jaws.
" It was a lot like "Star Wars" in terms of that, like, group consciousness.
It was the first movie I'd ever seen in theaters twice, and I mean, while I was eight.
[all laugh.]
Well, if I'm gonna collect anything, you know, it would be this or "The Shining," and since you haven't read anything about a guy with a "Shining" collection I think we should go.
I want to see you buying something that is part of your hobby.
I would love to go up there.
We should go up there.
It close it's nearby? It's not too far away.
It's up in Cornwall, New York.
You know what I've always said, man.
A healthy collection keeps away the infection.
I've heard you say that once today.
[all laugh.]
This the rarest production of this.
You basically have a home run.
- Was I lying? - This is awesome.
Wow! - How you doing? - How you guys doing today? Oh, pretty good.
I have something that you definitely want to see.
This is the 1978 Darth Vader with double-telescoping lightsaber.
Double-telescoping? The Holy Grail of "Star Wars" collectibles.
Oh, my God, I didn't think they existed.
I've never seen one.
I've only heard about it.
Show my ignorant friend over here what it means to have a double-telescoping Darth Vader.
So when you take it out Okay, I remember that.
They all do that, right? - Yeah, well, watch, watch.
- And then this comes out - Oh, my God.
- They only made a limited run of these 'cause Kenner found out they were too expensive, so they stopped making the double and went to a single.
And how many of these are there in the system? Uh, 22, I believe, loose? - 22? - Mm-hmm.
- Known? - Known.
I've never seen that one.
I didn't know that that was a variant.
My Darth Vader had a lightsaber came out of his hand, and it had a little stick on the end of it.
Little French tickler on the end.
Yes, there was a bit of a French tickler at the head of it.
I had a French tickler Darth Vader too when I was little, and I thought this one looked like the one I had.
So is that this? No, it was a double extension.
You would push it outwards, and the lightsaber would grow.
- With a French tickler on it? - Yes.
What do you mean, French tickler? [all laugh.]
Let that ride, dude.
We can't explain that.
[laughter.]
- Where did you get it? - My mom, 1978, bought it for me.
$1.
29.
Whew.
Are you here to try to sell it today? I am on a mission to sell this today.
Would you have any objection if I called somebody in, take a look at it for me? 'Cause if this is what you claim it is, a real, legit double-telescoping Darth Vader, before I even start, I want to bring in my expert.
All right, sure, yeah.
Make that call.
All right, man.
Chill out for one second.
Let me give him a call.
You can't be talking purchasing loose figures unless you Che in first with Mr.
Popculturizm, Rob Bruce.
You know, as a rule, the Stash is usually not interested in loose figures, but when that loose figure may be the Holy Grail of loose figures? You've got to throw away the rule book, and just play it by ear.
Is it an entire book that just says, "We don't buy loose figures"? - [all laugh.]
- That's like a Post-it.
- Yeah.
- [all laugh.]
- How you doing? Pleasure.
- Good to meet you.
I'm Robert.
Uh, you said that, uh, - you got this for Christmas - Yep.
- When you were a kid.
- Right off the shelf.
It's great to see a piece like this survive that capsule of time.
Looks like you're lifting up the skirt there.
- What are you looking for? - Just to make sure it's the right manufacturing mark, Hong Kong.
Are there people trying to fake these? Absolutely.
"Star Wars" is incredibly hot right now.
It's the Cadillac of toys.
Carded figures are bringing prices that nobody's ever seen.
It's a great figure.
I mean - So if I was - What do you need to know? Is it legit? It looks 100% legit.
This is the rarest production of this.
Basically you have a home run.
There's no way around it.
But you know, its value is very subjective.
What I see, from time and time again, the Holy Grail is All of a sudden, somebody opens up a door and there's 400 of 'em.
The market goes soft.
Now will that happen with this? Probably not.
But the fact that there's, like, 22 known, 25 known, I think that number goes up every day.
Wow.
Um what do you want for it? I'm looking for $4,000 for it.
$4,000.
I'd feel comfortable offering you today $1,100.
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
[laughter.]
See, I've heard this referred to as the Holy Grail, and King Arthur wouldn't lowball somebody to get the Holy Grail.
There's a lot of Holy Grails.
King Arthur was only looking for one.
Could think $3,700.
Could we go $3,700? $1,500 for it.
If you're not interested in $1,500, I-I would have to think that the Stash is out.
Robert, if you have any interest, I'm out.
I could offer you $1,800.
Um I don't know, man.
I, uh I don't think you're the droids I'm looking for.
- Don't think I can do it.
- All right, man, well, - sorry it couldn't happen.
- Thank you.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you very much.
- All right.
- Take care, guys.
- See you later.
- Wow.
Quint's jacket, hat.
This is the jacket that he wore.
- Quint's coat? - This is awesome.
- How does it look? - Wow.
Favorite Spielberg movie, man.
Hands down for me, it's "Jaws.
" Saw it when I was five.
Watched it just the other week.
Still holds up.
Well, I know you'd say, man - No contest.
- How much do we love "Jaws"? - More than I love my family.
- You know what I'm saying? Sometimes I look at my wife and I'm like, "You're pretty perfect, but 'Jaws' is perfect.
" - [all laugh.]
- Yeah, exactly.
Ming, your favorite Spielberg movie of all time.
It's gotta be "Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
" Really? That one over "E.
T.
"? Yeah, I just think the darker tone, Devil's Tower I mean, isn't it like the alien's on screen for like, what, 30 seconds? Oh, he doesn't show you an alien until the last, like, two minutes.
And it worked, like, in 1979.
Then when he gets to "E.
T.
," the first minute, he's like, "Here's your alien.
" [laughter.]
What about you, man? It's gotta be "Jaws.
" Uh uh you're No, it's not "Jaws.
" - I-I mean, you guys - I'm about to flip this table unless you say "Jaws.
" What what could it be? Uh, "Jaws 2.
" [all laugh.]
I don't want you flippin' no tables.
You sure this is the right place? This can't possibly be the right address.
It I-I know it doesn't look like much.
It doesn't look like anything.
We're pulling up to what's supposed to be the "Jaws" museum, and it just looks like some abandoned warehouse.
Well, aside from the "Jaws" museum, it was an abandoned warehouse.
[all laugh.]
Was I lying? See? - No.
- Looks can be deceiving.
- This is pretty cool.
- Amity Island.
- This way.
- This way.
- This is awesome.
- Hey.
- Hey, how are ya? - Good.
I'm Chris Kiska.
I'm the owner of the largest collection in the world of original "Jaws" memorabilia.
- Hey, how you doing? - How you doing, Chris? Pleasure to have you guys here.
- Thank you.
- Hey, how are ya? I'm sure if you're familiar with the movie "Jaws," you're gonna see a lot of stuff here that you recognize.
We're looking to start him on a road to collecting, and he wants to have a collection - that will rival yours one day.
- Wow.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
I'll have a collection that rivals this by the time I'm 82.
- You'll have 35 years to - I couldn't possibly! He has all the, like, one-of-a-kind, original stuff.
[laughter.]
I'll never succeed.
[laughter.]
There's a lot of stuff.
This dude has a lot of stuff, like, the original props.
Screen-used props.
From "Jaws.
" You know how rare that is? That's Ra that's as rare as a unicorn humping a Sasquatch while Martians look on.
[all laugh.]
So what was the first piece you picked up? Um, the first piece was the harpoon gun.
And at five years old, you know, having the harpoon gun, of course you need the barrels and the tank, and the list goes on and on.
- Five years old? - Yeah, my dad's actually the one who created the harpoon gun.
And they just happened to, you know, rent it for the movie, and that's what started me on my quest.
You were a five-year-old with a functioning harpoon gun? - Yeah.
- [all laugh.]
I mean, I worked for it.
It was a guerilla-made movie, so every time they shot something, they left it all behind.
- Just like, trashing it? - Yeah.
The stuff just got discarded.
It was, you know, valueless at the time.
I went door to door, you know, tracking stuff down, 'cause there was no Internet, there was no cell phones.
It was almost like a U.
S.
-wide scavenger hunt.
Wow.
So anything capture your fancy, Bry? You got some of the shark jaws.
That's the stunt M1 Garand that was actually used when Roy Scheider was up on the mast.
You know, is that is that a first edition "Jaws" novel that Peter Benchley Yep, and it's the only cover he ever signed.
What about the cage? Is that Yeah, that's what's left of the cage.
Uh, the pods on there, the floatation, is not real.
This flashlight, is that the one with Ben Ben Gardner? That's no, actually, that was Quint's flashlight that was actually thrown up to him by the mate when they were leaving.
- And that's Quint's jacket, hat.
- Quint's coat? This is the jacket that he wore? Yep, he actually wore that jacket, and that's the hero machete that he used to stab the shark.
Is that the hero beer? [all laugh.]
Personally, I think you'd be crazy not to go after that coat.
It does seem like a no-brainer, eh? I mean, is he allowed to to put it on? Oh, yeah, absolutely.
The actual costume? - Yes.
- Wow, man! That's like somebody going, like, "Here.
Hold on to Darth Vader's lightsaber.
" Uh, I can't believe it's not in the, uh - A museum! Why is this - Right? The Smithsonian.
In the Smithsonian, yeah! This is the Smithsonian of "Jaws" stuff, I guess.
It belongs in the Kevin Smithsonian, I'll tell you that much right now! Oh.
It says "R.
Shaw" on it, look.
- Robert Shaw.
- Oh, wow, man.
- That's awesome.
- Man.
- Whoa, careful, careful.
- If you were to tell third-grade Bryan Johnson that he'd get to wear this jacket one day? Your whole life might've been changed.
- How does it look? - Yeah.
- It's actually kinda close.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- There's a lot of blood "It's got black eyes, like a doll's eyes.
" [all laugh.]
All right, what do you think, man? - Maybe $100? - Oh, price? It would probably start at probably about $80,000.
- Wow.
- No! Really? I mean, if I knew that's where the bidding started, I would've never even gotten in the car.
[all laugh.]
You can't get discouraged.
It doesn't mean you're You're not gonna walk out of here with something.
- That's true, all right.
- This is the day that forever changes your life.
You're in the ballpark, right? But you're not on the field.
I'm outside the stadium still.
I'm talking to a hot dog vendor.
Do you have anything maybe for the thrifty collector? You mean "destitute," right? I'm ranking the greatest TV detectives ever, and I wanted to get some of your input.
What are the parameters? - They had to be on TV.
- Okay.
They had to be a detective.
- Okay.
- There you go.
[all laugh.]
- Magnum, P.
I.
- Magnum, P.
I.
- Magnum, P.
I.
, Tom Selleck.
- Tom Selleck.
- He drove a cool car.
- It was a Ferrari, yeah.
What was cooler, the 'stache or the car? This Stash? Oh, the mustache.
[all laugh.]
Okay ah, jeez.
That's that's tough.
Who didn't want that mustache? I mean, I tried so hard to grow out that luscious 'stache, and mine was just so weak and and and flimsy.
It was just that's hard to do, get a 'stache like that.
- Oh, yeah, definitely.
- Ooh.
Mike, you're getting there though! - Yeah.
- [all laugh.]
What about you? I would go Jim Rockford.
- [laughs.]
- Whoa.
I thought for sure you would've went with Starsky and Hutch.
That's why, you know, I show you guys so much love - and so much, like, camaraderie.
- Yeah.
Because, you know, I learned it through "Starsky & Hutch.
" He learned it through "Magnum, P.
I.
" Giving Ming mustache rides all the time.
[all laugh.]
Oh! Oh, my God! You didn't start off with all this stuff, right? You had to start off with one piece, - one step at at time.
- Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I'm still picking up stuff to this day.
Exactly.
You work your way up.
All right.
Welcome to the collecting game, Big.
He doesn't yet know the joy of the journey, you know? You start small, and one day? You might have a healthy, vital collection.
If he walks out of there with something that he can proudly display, this could be a life-changing moment.
Healthier living, through "Jaws.
" [all laugh.]
What else do we got that might be, uh - Oh, yeah.
- More suited to a man - Of this budget? - Yeah.
- We have a tank.
- What does that go for? - Probably $50,000.
- Oh, wow.
- What about the harpoon gun? - $100,000.
- More than the jacket? - Oh, yeah.
The machete, probably 20 grand.
The M1 Garand, $18,000.
What about the empty can of beer? Empty can would probably go 6 grand.
- Oh.
- Wow.
Right, well, you're in the ballpark, right? But you're not on the field.
- I'm outside the stadium still.
- Just the parking lot.
I'm talking to a hot dog vendor.
Maybe we move down and see if there's something else perhaps that Well, in the next case we have most of the original pieces from the "Orca.
" Something tells me the "Orca," it's not cheaper than the can of beer.
[all laugh.]
What about one of those beat-up barrels? - They can't go for much.
- [scoffs.]
Oh, yeah, these barrels would probably start at auction about $20,000.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
So that's $100,000 in barrels [laughter.]
Sitting right there.
I'm watching Bryan, you know, get priced out on every single thing.
Yeah, it's like, "I want to collect 'Jaws.
' Just not that, that, that, that, none of these.
" I am determined, he is gonna walk out of there with something.
You're going to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
Ooh.
[laughter.]
What about, like, a shirt? What does a shirt go for? That's an original cast production shirt.
Probably start at $3,000.
- Ooh.
- Wow.
Do you have anything maybe for the thrifty collector? By "thrifty," you mean "destitute," right? [all laugh.]
So you can't get the Quint jacket.
You can't get the harpoon gun.
You can't get a barrel.
Just when things were looking hairy, Chris found something for us and Bryan walked home with his very first piece of "Jaws" merchandise.
Nice! What is it? That is the baddest-ass thimble that's ever been produced.
I mean, the only other one I've ever seen is in a Monopoly game, so [all laugh.]
No! Really? - Yeah.
- You're like the Little Tailor.
It's the small steps.
I mean, you you have to You have to start somewhere.
- That's true, man.
- You never know.
You may have a barrel one day.
Or a sewing box.
[all laugh.]
I just love how you went in there trying to get a big collectible, and you bought literally the smallest thing in there.
- Do you love it? - [all laugh.]
Oh, and just like Cap'n Quint, it's all over for us, man.
For "Comic Book Men," I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
We're gonna need a bigger boat, kids.
Good night.