Grown-ish (2018) s05e04 Episode Script

1
No, this is not a Super
Bowl E.D. commercial.
I'm just putting in my due diligence.
I'm thinking about
pledging Gamma Psi Delta.
Yo, Mike, go long!
I am all for the advantages of joining
an exclusive on-campus society.
But after my experience with the Crest,
I definitely need to try before I buy.
Hey, yo, Mike, not that far, bro!
I don't think he can hear me.
You know, it's interesting,
'cause what I'm finding
about this group is
that they don't see me
as the awkward mama's boy
with a Pop Toy collection.
They see me as a Pop Toy collector
and entrepreneur who isn't
ashamed of being a mama's boy.
To moms!
To moms!
I don't know,
maybe these are my people.
Cheers, dudes!
Cheers!
Hey.
What the [bleep]?
Mnh-mnh-mnh.
Nah, I'm just playing with you, man!
Ahh!
I think I'mma be a Gamma!
What are you doing?
Doing a little peek-a-boo
for my boo here.
I send Zoey
in-action photos of me being sexy
around the house,
campus, Walmart, Costco.
Great lighting in Costco.
- You wouldn't believe.
- Okay.
So she can give you a
little love back, right?
No, no. She's gonna be
president one day, so
Doug? I need your help.
How'd you know he'd be here?
Where else would he be?
I think I wanna join the Gammas.
I've been waiting on this.
Come on, bring it in.
Oh, I knew you were a Gamma man.
Gamma man? Really?
A frat's a frat. It doesn't
matter how you try and spin it.
You can front like the
chapters are different,
but we all know it's just astrology
for dudes who like butt-chugging.
Oh, bro, our our Council
banned backdoor beers in 1997.
Don't listen to that. Look,
the Gammas are nothing
like the pretty boy Epsilons
or the party animal Omicrons.
We're all about serving
looks and our community.
That's what it means to be a G.
Hmm. I could be a G.
My whole life, I've been a J.
But maybe I'm a G.
Or you could just be you.
I don't understand the appeal.
I'm not gonna do some
backwards-ass trauma ritual
so that I can rock a bunch
of matching hoodies with guys
whom I have nothing else in common with.
Pledging is not traumatic, all right?
- Okay.
- Didn't they brand you?
I'm sorry, they what now?
They branded him.
Sizzled his skin, blistered
up, pus everywhere.
- The branding is optional.
- That's gross.
And that traces back to a
West African tribal tradition,
Professor Jackson.
You can spin it however
you want to spin it,
still sounds like cult shit to me.
All right, well, you
know, when you graduated,
all you got was a degree.
I got a brotherhood.
- I'm not your brother?
- All right, I'm not saying that.
But, look, the Gammas,
we're like the mafia
minus the murder and the drugs.
I mean, besides the
legal and cool drugs.
That's, you know
I'm pretty sure "mafia" is
the Italian word for "cult."
Ooh. I gotta take
this. Zoey's calling me.
She said she'd show
me full knee this time,
so it's pretty exciting.
Enjoy drinking the Kool-Aid, Junior.
Okay.
All right, bro, here's the deal,
pledging is no joke.
But if you listen to me,
there's a good chance that
you'll get across that line.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
So you're like my rush fairy godfather.
Mm, I'm 100% not that.
But the Gammas are
just looking for dudes
who can take initiative,
and you gotta be showing
up for everything.
Word, word, word.
Yeah, we've been hanging a lot already,
and I'm also going to
that comedy fundraiser thing on Friday.
Oh. We'll see.
Hannibal Buress just dropped out
because he just got into an injury
on the set of "Tag Two: You're It."
- Ah.
- The brothers are scrambling.
So the brothers are scrambling.
What's up, Kiela?
You interviewing, too?
We met at the SJS meeting, right?
Uh, you made me prove to you
that I wasn't subscribed to Ben Shapiro
before I put my name
on the sign-up list?
Right. Yeah.
Um Brendan.
Brandon.
Sorry, you're interviewing
for Director of Strategy
for the Social Justice Society?
Yep.
Oh.
Yeah, I gotta say, I'm surprised
a blossoming anarcho-Marxist
like yourself is interested
in something this
institutional.
Okay, look, if you need, like,
a résumé-padder for
your Peace Corps app,
there's like a thriving hacky
sack club on the East Quad.
And, you know, just a an FYI,
they've never given this
position to a freshman.
Oh.
Well, how often do they meet a freshman
who was on Biden's transition team?
Kiela.
Come on in.
If frat life's all about
having your brothers' backs,
what better way to show
I'm worthy of pledging
than pulling through
in their time of need?
Yo, I heard y'all were struggling
with that whole fundraiser thing,
and, uh, I reached out to some
of my old advertising contacts,
and if you want him
I got Malik Miles.
Bro, are you serious?
Malik is fire.
So I should tell him it's a go?
Hell yeah, bro. Lock it in.
Hey, good stuff.
Hey, yo, never believe
what he just told me.
Hey, how you guys doing?
Professor Jackson here, and
today I'm gonna be rating
Cal U's faculty diversity by department.
That's a few tiki torches
shy of a hate crime.
Zero out of 10.
Now, you see that? That right there,
that's giving '60s
country club whiteness,
but there are some ladies in the mix,
so we'll give them
a 2 out of 10.
It's not great, but it's
better than the last one.
Now, finally, see that?
There's that Benetton energy
we've been looking for.
You're probably wondering
what department that is.
Is that History? Film Studies?
No, it isn't.
It's Global Studies, guys.
Global Studies.
And you see that guy
right there in the corner?
That's me, next to all my friends
that Cal U panic-hired
over the last six months.
At first, Aaron's TikTok flopped,
until one student saw
the comic potential
and used Aaron's sound
for his own riff
Zero out of ten.
rating the lack of seasonings
at various dining hall stations.
When it blew up, suddenly
students started using
Aaron's sound to call out
everything problematic at Cal U.
So after Aaron forgot about his scream
into the social media
void, it popped off too.
- Yo, bro.
- Yo.
Congrats on sticking it to the man.
Thanks? What What
are you talking about?
Your TikTok. It blew up.
Check out the comments.
Uh
Let's see here.
"If Noah Beck and Malcolm X had a baby."
Oh, Lord help these kids.
Hold on.
Whoa, I just got like 100
kids trying to audit my class.
Wow.
Okay. Looks like people
are psyched to see
Professor TikTok in action.
I guess so.
Making change is about
getting people to stop
and pay attention.
Look, we all know the levers
of change are pulled by like
five old white dudes
in a smoke-filled room.
So the question is
How do you get them to listen?
Collaborate, not alienate.
Explosive, disruptive.
Tactical, laser-focused.
Drive the conversation
and mobilize revolution.
Work behind the scenes toward
concrete, achievable goals.
I'm writing my thesis on
activism during the AIDS crisis.
And do you know what my
biggest takeaway has been?
Reagan was a genocidal clown?
You need the ACT UP die-hards
handcuffing themselves
to the Stock Exchange,
and you need the HRC
insiders lobbying senators.
Do you see what I'm getting at?
Your tactics couldn't be more different.
Which is why you'll make
incredible co-directors.
Congratulations.
Comedy fundraiser Friday.
It's a Gamma function.
Malik Miles.
Yo, guess who came
through big for the Gammas?
What? So you guys have, like,
a secret handshake now or something?
It's okay, I've seen his penis.
Malik Miles? I love him.
What the hell is this?
Junior booked Malik Miles
for the Gamma fundraiser.
Don't ask for comps, ladies.
- It's for charity.
- Yeah.
I'm not giving him a dime and
neither should anyone else.
Junior, you can't bring a
[bleep] misogynist to Cal U.
Back up. What's the problem with Malik?
He attacked a woman during a show.
Wait. You're not talking
about the wig snatch.
- It was years ago.
- I'm sorry, the what?
How can you not know?
Excuse me, ghetto Cleopatra.
But anyway, as I was saying,
we got to put him through a combine.
You're about as funny as colon cancer.
Bitch, if you don't shut
Someone snatch this busted
lace front off her head.
I know you won't What? Aah!
Oh.
Give me my wig! You give me my
I can't believe you touched my damn wig!
Take your ass back to the
streets where you belong.
Whoa. Kiela, I had no idea.
Oh, my God, cut the white knighting.
Malik isn't even the one that
did the actual wig snatching.
Some random did.
Yeah. Because Malik told him to.
Yeah, and he didn't help his case
when he called her the "B" word.
No woman deserves to be called that.
Even my Organic Chemistry professor,
who can kindly go straight to hell.
Okay, you're being mad extra.
And he was like 20.
And he stopped performing
for like over a year.
He more than did his time.
Okay, wait. I'm sorry.
- Uh, he did his time?
- Zaara: Right.
A year without a comedy special? Oh, no.
What is that, the new 25 to life?
No, but he didn't commit a crime either.
And he apologized.
Okay, see?
- He apologized.
- Mm-hmm.
A half-assed apology
with a wink to his fans.
He's not responsible
for some idiot teenagers
snatching wigs for clout.
Yes, he is.
His apology is trash unless
he takes responsibility.
All right, Kiela, look,
I'll talk to the Gammas
and get it sorted out.
While Aaron's TikTok lit a
fire among Cal U students,
the reaction from his
fellow professors was
ice cold.
- Hey, babe.
- Zoey: Hey!
I'm surprised I got you.
I mean, are you FaceTiming me
from the Hype House right now?
That's very funny.
You know, I have never
dated an influencer before.
I guess Will in middle
school was really big on Vine,
and Luca had like
50,000 followers on IG.
You know what?
We really don't need to get into it.
Yeah.
- How does it feel?
- Uh, I dunno.
I guess it feels good kind of
calling out the administration.
My students are way into it.
But the professors are pissed.
I got all these, uh, stern-ass e-mails
from like half the
Global Studies department
talking about, "Leave
us out of it," so
Yeah.
How well do these people know you?
I say hi when I'm in the faculty lounge.
If you want people to be on your side,
you're gonna have to win
them over a little bit.
Show them that you're one of them.
When I started working with
veteran textile designers,
yeah, they were skeptical.
But I showed them what I was about
and, sure, kissed a little ass.
But now Trisha and I get
bottomless mimosas every Sunday.
That explains those Sunday Snaps.
You get You get lit with her, huh?
You know it.
But have you actually
tried getting to know them,
like, as people?
A bunch of them go to
grab drinks every Friday.
Ugh, just I just don't want to do
the whole happy hour ass-kissing thing.
I I kick ass.
I don't kiss it.
Aaron, you should go.
If you let them, I'm sure
they will see the brilliant,
very cool guy that I know and love.
Dude is funny as hell, man.
What's the problem? I'm confused.
It's just, like, if I would have known,
I wouldn't have called Malik
in the first place, you know?
Junior.
He was our age when
the shit went down, bro.
We make dumbass mistakes all the time.
You think we deserve
to be defined by them?
Well, no.
Plus, the man apologized.
The fact is this is just
another young Black man
getting cut down once he levels up.
They would've found a
reason no matter what he did.
You are so right.
How long are we supposed
to condemn one of our own?
That's what I'm saying.
Look, booking Malik was a win, bro.
Plus, you came through for us,
and the brothers ain't
gonna forget that.
Mike's got a point.
How am I supposed to say
I want to join a tradition
of elevating Black
men when I was so quick
to do a 180 on Malik over one mistake?
Hey, look alive, man.
I just just killed you.
We need to do something
about Malik Miles.
We could draft a letter to the
Greek Life Oversight Committee.
Or we could shut that shit down.
Okay, stopping someone
from telling jokes
isn't gonna help shelter the unhoused
or end voter suppression.
This Twitter discourse
is just a distraction.
But what if it helps me
feel safer on this campus?
Come on. No, when you act like
what he did is no big deal,
it's like you're telling Black women,
"Protecting you is less
important than some dude's jokes."
Are you kidding? Both of
the issues I just named
affect Black women.
But I'm an actual Black woman
telling you what matters to me,
and you can't be bothered.
Got it. Yeah.
I love being part of this team.
It's really just so much fun.
Mike got me thinking about
who society tries to cancel,
and just how easy it is
to cancel a Black man.
And points were made.
So the show was going on as planned.
Okay, boys, Malik is en
route, doors open in five,
and the beer koozies that
the local brewery donated
are hidden under the seats.
You're in Oprah mode, huh?
- What can I say?
- Listen, fellas.
When we're recruiting,
this is what we're looking for.
Yo, some girl's making a
big-ass scene in the lobby.
Shut it down!
Shut it down! Shut it down!
Shut it down!
Okay, you really want to cancel a
young Black man over one mistake?
You were horrified
over that "one mistake."
But I guess you talked
yourself out of it,
and now it's come to this.
Come to what? There are
literally five of you.
- What are you gonna do?
- Six.
I don't know you, but, okay, hi.
Brandon.
And we're gonna do
whatever it takes, right?
You've made your point.
Now, please, just move your
demonstration to the side.
No, I think we'll stay right here.
Shut it down!
Shut it down!
Shut it down!
Shut it down!
- Shut it down! Shut it down!
- Nobody cares!
Snatch her wig!
Shut it down! Shut it down!
Show these bitches out, man!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! We are not doing the show tonight!
I'm sorry, but the show is canceled.
Look, your tickets will be refunded.
Okay, okay, boo all you want.
Boo all you want.
You still have to go
home. We're not doing this.
Bye.
You actually shut it down.
A little more satisfying
than a letter campaign, huh?
Yeah.
Why'd you come?
Because I heard what you
said, and it got to me.
I mean, first I was
pissed and defensive.
You think?
But I've learned that
usually that's a sign
that someone's telling me something
that I really need to hear.
I thought what happened with Malik Miles
didn't matter in the real world
because, for me, it doesn't.
But maybe I just needed
my "co-director"
- Oh.
- to show me my blind spots.
Okay. Uh, good.
Anyway, we should
schedule a strategy sesh.
SJS wants to mobilize
action on pushing Cal U
to go carbon neutral, ASAP.
Uh, that should be easy.
Phone bank, contact top donors
convince them to make
all future donations
dependent on Cal U committing.
Oh. Oh, cute.
Or, I was thinking we can do like
a "Climate Change Wake-Up Call"
outside the Cal U President's house.
You know, 5:00 a.m., a
bunch of angry students,
a couple air horns.
Oh, so deliberately alienate
the main person we need to convince?
Yes, but, uh, shame used
effectively is motivating.
And, you know, calling
donors just makes,
like, a terrible front page photo.
But you with a bullhorn?
Oh, yeah.
Hot, young, saving the planet.
No better way to trend.
Who the hell cares if it trends?
You're gonna drive me insane.
Probably.
Uh
Right. Well.
Um, you know, we'll just, uh
we'll figure it out when we meet again.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Totally. I'll, uh, text you.
Okay. Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I don't think I'm gonna be a Gamma.
Listen, guys.
I know I screwed up the event,
but I just couldn't stand there
and be on the same side
of history as those guys
even if it means I'm not a Gamma.
Junior, chill.
We're inviting you to pledge.
The committee voted. You
pulled through, two to one.
Really?
Brotherhood isn't just
about blind loyalty.
You stood up and took responsibility,
even knowing what it could cost you.
And that, in my humble opinion
is Gamma behavior.
Look, maybe next time, just, uh,
Google your man before you book him.
I will Google the hell out of them.
I-I'll even Bing them, if necessary.
All right.
You're dismissed.
- Don't
- Stop, stop.
Don't do that.
I felt like it was too much.
Mnh-mnh.
- Okay.
- Word up, yeah.
Yeah.
Just so you know, I
was the vote against.
What you did was messed up, man,
and I for one would never
do my brothers like that.
I don't think you're
Gamma material at all,
and honestly?
I look forward to watching you fail.
Challenge accepted.
Okay, okay, it's just drinks.
Drinks with coworkers. That's all it is.
Zoey's right, just bring the charm.
Show them what you're all about.
It's not ass-kissing,
it's career development.
Big difference.
How bad could it be?
Where'd you get that tie?
It's so dope!
What I love about
Kamala is she's so real.
She's she's so real.
She's so real. Hey, what are you doing?
All right.
Yeah, that's my that's my hair.
Thank you.
Nope, nope.
Nope.