The Adventures Of Puss In Boots (2015) s05e04 Episode Script

El Gato! Dulcinea.
Hello! May I help you with those boxes, using my many muscles? Oh, why, thank you, Puss.
Whatever would I do without your assistance? You are quite welcome, Dulcinea.
Helping.
It is the best.
And that's how good deeds get done.
It was not just a good deed.
It was a great deed.
As it was done by me.
Now, I've devised a system to make helping fun.
Make helping even more fun? Es imposible.
A piece of paper? It's better than cake.
This is your good deed tracker.
Every time you do a good deed, you give yourself a gold star.
At the end of the day, the orphan with the most gold stars wins a prize.
Ooh! Is it cake? It's a secret prize.
Now get out there and do good.
Uh, Dulcinea, why did I not get a good deed tracker? Puss, seriously? It's just a learning game for the children.
But it is a competition with gold stars and prizes.
And I live for the thrill of competition.
Come on, I will share the prize with the children.
Everyone will win.
Puss, let it go.
It's for the orphans.
And I am an orphan.
Ha! My inescapable logic has thwarted your cruel plan.
You know what? Fine.
I will do the best good deeds San Lorenzo has ever seen.
Look out! Good deed coming through! Hmph! I will beat the children.
That did not come out right.
I will destroy the children! Huh? Let me carry you.
Um, Puss, shouldn't you be guarding San Lorenzo from danger? Do not be ridiculous.
What could possibly happen in this boring old town? Do you even live here? Four leches, four good deeds, four gold stars.
Uh, this milk is curdled.
Oh, I am sorry, my friend.
Ooh, an apology.
One gold star.
It's so lumpy.
You, sir.
You look like you need help! - No! I don't need help! - Let me help you! - I insist! - Leave me alone.
Whoa.
Yikes.
Whoa.
Huh? Two stars.
Ha! Hm? Aah! What was that thing? I think Puss went after it.
It looked like Toby.
Boop.
Did you just boop me? Was that a giggle? Beggin' your pardon, sir, I did giggle, but only on account of your funny little shoes.
They're so cute.
The name's Pigmalion on account of me being a little bit pig, and a little bit maggot and a little bit lion.
Cha! I'm a demon.
I knew it.
But why are you so many animals? Oh, all demons is made out of bits of other animals, yeah, 'cause makin' up new animals is hard.
Right.
Pleasure to meet you.
What's your name? Um, Puss in Boots.
Oh, a proper name for such - an handsome cat in shoes.
- Oh.
Right proud to meet you, ma'am.
Ooh.
Uh, excuse me, Mr.
Pigmalion, was it? Just Pigmalion will do, love.
Mr.
Pigmalion is me dad.
Me dad.
Me dad.
Oh! Oh, there, there.
I'm sorry, love.
I just get choked up talkin' about me family.
See, I was living with me evil demon parents.
But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't be evil.
So me dad banished me to the Netherworld.
Then that portal opened up, and here I am free from the Netherworld, but still not free to go home.
Not so long as I ain't evil.
Oh, you poor, grotesque creature.
Pigmalion, I owe you an apology.
I judged you by your terrifying, non-aesthetically-pleasing exterior, and for that, I am sorry.
For my bad deed of judgment, I dock myself one gold star.
But for my good deed of apologizing, I re-award myself that star.
Congrats to you, mate.
I'm happy for you and your starry bits.
Well, you are about to be happier, because I, Puss in Boots, hereby pledge to help you.
And acquire more stars.
But mostly help you.
What? Help me? But how? If your family will only accept an evil demon son, then I will teach you to be an evil demon.
Seriously? Seriously? Seriously! If a good deed is when you do something good, then a bad deed is when you do something bad.
This is so informative already.
Pardon me one sec.
Puss, I don't think teaching a demon to be evil is a good idea.
It's the only way to reunite him with his family.
Also, the sooner I turn this demon evil, the sooner he leaves San Lorenzo forever.
Boop.
It'll be fine.
There's no way he's gonna pull this off.
Where were we, my demon friend? Ah, yes, let the bad deeds begin.
Esme has volunteered to help you perform a bad deed: smashing this ice cream cone into her face.
Oh, I couldn't.
She's but a wee child.
And it's a waste of such a tart tasty treat.
It's okay.
It's a good deed so I'll get a gold star.
The secret prize is mine.
Okay, Pigmalion.
Smash that delicious dessert in her face.
Uh Um Mm Uh Ha! Amateur.
Another star for me.
Go ahead, steal it.
Knock over my tower.
Trip me.
- Scuff my boots.
- Uh-uh.
Hogtie me.
Steal the treasure.
- Push me in the fountain.
- Call me mean names.
Punch me in the face.
I might need some help.
But where can I find experts on evil? Oh.
Huh? Stealing or borrowing without asking is just one of the many ways to be evil.
But we are getting ahead of ourselves.
Thievery is on the advanced track.
Being evil is all about believing you are evil.
That is why we say Beli-evil in yourself.
Repeat after me, "I am evil now.
" I am evil now.
Like you mean it! I am evil now.
I can't hear you.
- I am evil now.
- Oh.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm terribly sorry.
Here, let me help you up, ma'am.
I'm a boy.
This is a waste of our time.
Wait! Please, come back! He's so sweet, he hurts my tummy.
A little ginger to soothe your belly? Maybe my demon parents were right.
Maybe I don't deserve a family.
I know you're trying to do a good deed and help Pigmalion rejoin his family, but this talk of being evil is rubbing off on San Lorenzo's impressionable.
- Ow! - Mine! Watch the bones.
They're brittle.
- Shush! - You are right.
If the children are learning evil, that means Pigmalion will, too.
I must stay the course and try even harder! That's not what I was And he's gone.
You are so funny.
Ha! Check.
In your face.
I take your lady.
Actually, the horsey can only move in an L-shape You win.
Who's next? El Moco.
Puss in the Boots.
Oi.
Hello, Mr.
Giant Man.
Ooh.
Aren't you just jacked up in the bicep bits, eh? Ooh, I bet those old arms are perfect for hugs.
Explain.
So, you want me to teach that how to be evil? Exactly.
Mm.
Oh.
Huh? Huh? This is impossible.
It can't be done.
Biggest waste of my time since since I tried to speak English.
My dad was right.
I'm a failure.
No.
This cannot be the end.
I have sworn to help this demon and I must do it.
But how? Uh, excuse me.
Hi, yes.
I cannot do the brilliant thinking - while you are doing the loud crying.
- Oh.
I'm terribly sorry, mate.
Is this better? There must be a better way to turn this demon demonic.
Like with some kind of evil sword.
There is the answer.
What is it? Oh, that is the Scimitar.
All you have to do is go over there and take it.
- Yeah, that's not happenin'.
- Whoa.
Hold on.
All you have to do is pick it up.
- I don't want to.
- It will be fine.
Trust me.
I don't really want to be evil this much.
Oh, come on.
You're being a big baby about it.
- What do you want? - I don't want to Ha! We need you to turn this demon evil.
Hello.
You're You're kidding, right? Me, in the hands of a demon? Oh, it would be the end of the world.
Sand is so dusty.
Okay, let's do this thing.
Huzzah! Uh I think this might be going too far, mate.
Pigmalion, this quest began because I wanted to do good deeds and get gold stars.
But this is no longer about the stars.
Entirely.
No, you, my pig-maggot-lion friend, deserve to be evil, and to be reunited with your family.
Yes.
Take my hilt, demon.
Take it! I beli-evil in you.
Um, guys? Yeah, I don't think it's work Yes.
Feel the evil flowing through you.
Now, chase him down and destroy him! I beli-evil this may have been a mistake.
Quickly.
Lower the gate.
What gate? We don't have a gate.
Honestly, sometimes, it's like you don't even live here.
Dulcinea, what happened here? It is as though my talk of evil deeds somehow rubbed off on San Lorenzo.
Gee, if only someone over here had warned against exactly that.
Oh, dear.
This is all my fault.
I mean, yes, I accomplished my goal, but still.
Accomplished your goal? Puss in Boots! You gave him the Scimitar? Honestly, I can't even.
This is your mess, you deal with it.
En garde.
Scimitar, you really work fast.
What can I say.
It's a gift.
Wait! Yes? Oh, I did not have anything meaningful to say, I just wanted you to wait.
Finish him! Get off.
I saw him first.
No way.
I'm gonna save Puss and win all the stars.
Whoa.
Enough! - Hey, Pigmalion! - Huh? Our hero! Oh! Make it stop.
Dulcinea, look.
He's gonna to kill Eames! No, no, no.
Do you see? - Pigmalion, look, you're doing it.
- Mommy.
You're being evil all on your own.
You're not holding Scimitar, yet you are still evil.
I am? Why I am.
The power to be evil has been inside you all along.
You just had to beli-evil in yourself.
Huh? I did it.
Whoo! I need a doctor.
Oh, dear.
Have I caused all of this with my evil ways? If this is what bein' evil's all about, I want nothin' to do with it.
Even if it means losing my family.
There, there.
No, it's all right.
If they don't like who I am, it doesn't mean I have a problem.
It means they have a problem.
I am sorry, Pigmalion.
I should not have helped you change.
I should have encouraged you to be yourself.
For this bad deed, I dock myself All the stars.
And I award them all to you for being yourself.
Whoa.
That's a lot of stars.
I think you won the prize.
Yes, yes, you win the prize.
Well, we all win the prize because it's a group hug! Aww.
Great.
Just great.
Everyone wins but the Scimitar.
Look at me.
My whole reason for existing is turning people evil, and I couldn't even turn a demon.
The most evil thing there is.
I'm pathetic.
Pathetic! Aw, it's all right, fancy sword.
Maybe evil isn't your true calling either.
But turning people evil is all I've ever done.
Oh, so what? Come on.
Together, we'll start an evil-free life of giggles and sunshine.
- That sounds horrid.
- Oh, it'll be fun.
Giggles are like sound kisses.
Bye, everyone.
Bye! No, no, no! Put me down this instant.
- No! - You see? I told you I would not destroy the world.
Yes, you didn't destroy the world.
What do you want, a medal? No.
I want gold stars!