The Neighborhood (2018) s05e04 Episode Script

1
And here you go, ma'am.
That's one Four for $40, got
your tires rotated, oil change,
car wash, and here is your handshake.
Ooh, you know what? I owe you a receipt.
Look, I'll be right back.
I'll be right back.
Really?
Calvin, man.
Look at all these customers.
You're getting big money.
I'm getting no money, Trey.
I put out these Four for $40 coupons
to get business in the door,
but that's it.
Everybody's coming in
for the deal and nothing else.
No brake jobs or tune-ups.
I just wish we can go back
to the good old days
when cars were raggedy.
What are you doing?
Writing a receipt.
On paper towel?
Yes, on paper towel, Trey.
Look, when Tina worked here,
she ordered the receipt books.
But now I'm all out, so my
receipts are the quicker picker upper.
Here you go.
Have a nice day.
How can I help you, sir?
I want the Four for $40.
Well, actually,
you need a coupon for that,
which you have right there.
Man, everybody got one of
these damn things.
Well, uh, while you're here,
maybe we can check your brakes.
You know, stopping is very important.
- I'm good.
- Of course you are.
Actually, there is one more thing.
Yes.
Can I use your bathroom?
Sure.
Right up there.
Ain't no paper towels, though.
I am so sick of these coupons,
I don't know what to do, man.
What you want, Trey?
This is gonna be awkward.
'Cause I need
five Four for $40s.
You don't have five cars.
No, but when I saw your coupons,
it was such a great deal,
it inspired me to become
an oil change concierge.
What the hell is an
oil change concierge?
I bring in the car for my clients,
I charge them $80.
You get your $40, I get my $40.
Everybody eats.
Oh, e-everybody eats?
This is my shop, Trey.
Only I eat. This ain't no damn buffet.
Hey, Calvin. How's it going?
Great.
Ah, perfect.
I knew you'd be in a bad mood.
Okay, let's see.
Lethargic, shoulders slumped.
Facial expression flat.
I'd say you're suffering
from an acute case
of situational maladaptive stress.
And a case of TMD.
TM TMD?
Too much Dave.
You see, that I recognize.
Classic misplaced anger.
Bet you're wondering
why I'm so on it today, huh?
I wasn't, but I'm sure
you're gonna tell me.
Yes, I am. Now, see, I'm trying
to get my therapist license,
so I can counsel vets down at the VA.
And I need to log 500 hours
of hands-on experience,
so I'm asking you, Calvin,
why not let me
help talk you through
whatever's bothering you?
Well, right now, you're bothering me.
Okay, okay, great. See, that's good.
Let's dig a little deeper.
Dave, it's like I told you before.
Black people, we don't do therapy.
All right? We're just not
a soft kind of people.
If I wanted to sit on my couch and cry,
I'd watch the Clippers.
Dave, I said no.
Yeah, but you didn't say "hell no."
You notice how Dad never
follows Dave into a room?
- Brilliant observation.
- Yeah.
Guys, can I ask you something?
Is it true that Black people
don't do therapy?
- What?
- What? No, man. That's ridiculous.
Yeah, man. Lots of
Black people do therapy.
I'm surprised at you, David.
I didn't say it. It was your dad.
- Mm. Yeah.
- Oh, no, yeah, that makes more sense.
Yes, it does.
Because when I have problems,
I suffer on the inside,
like a real man.
Calvin, that is ridiculous.
Will you just let me help you?
Yeah, just give up, Pop.
He already in the house.
You know what? Fine. Come on.
All right, um, make
yourself comfortable.
Not you two! Get out.
Bye.
Okay, um
All right, tell me
what's been bothering you.
Well, business has been
a little slow lately,
so I came up with this promotion
to bring in more customers.
But now I'm losing money on every one.
Okay, well, why don't you just
end the promotion?
Well, it's not that easy.
See, I put the coupon
in the Pasadena PennySaver,
and they're everywhere, so
Let's focus on the why.
- Here, put your head up.
- Yeah.
Well
Well, when Tina was at the Pit Stop,
all I had to do was
focus on fixing cars.
I mean, she handled the books
and set the pricing,
ordered the supplies.
She would've known
this promotion was a bad idea.
See, now we're getting
to the good stuff.
You are realizing
that you need Tina back at the shop.
Maybe so,
but I can't ask her to come back.
I mean, she's got her own business,
and it's blowing up.
The woman loves making cupcakes.
Even if that's true, Calvin,
you need to tell Tina that
you need her back at the shop.
There's strength in vulnerability.
Ah.
There's also strength in strength.
Thank you
for letting me use your kitchen.
I mean, I can't keep up
with these stupid cupcakes.
Do you know how many of
these damn things I've made
in just this week alone?
- Guess.
- I don't know.
Guess.
A thousand.
A thousand?
I'm only one woman.
- Five hundred?
- Okay.
You do know that
"Black girl magic" doesn't mean
that I can do actual magic, right?
Well, stop making me guess.
I'm sorry. It's just that,
you know, I've been baking all day,
I've got four more orders
to fill before I go to bed,
and guess how much money I'm gonna make
after all of that.
Three dollars?
Gemma, I can find three dollars
in the couch.
You told me to guess.
I'm sorry, it's just that, you know,
making this little bit of money
is just not worth it.
Especially since I started teaching
at your after-school music program.
I love those little tone-deaf monsters.
Aw, that's so sweet.
Don't call them monsters
in front of the parents.
You know, making cupcakes
isn't fun anymore.
It feels like work.
So, why don't you quit?
I can't. Calvin is so proud of me.
Plus we've invested so much
in my business.
- Guess how much.
- Nope. Not doing that.
Wait. These are for Noah Miller?
Oh, yeah, it's his birthday.
Interesting.
Not that I care,
but Noah Miller didn't invite Grover
to his birthday party.
Who's Noah Miller?
You know, the kid Grover
invited to his party,
who ate five pieces of pizza.
And Noah's gift,
they named a star after Grover.
How do we know that's even true?
I'm sensing an underlying issue
here, Gemma.
Why is this invitation
bothering you so much?
It's not.
I was just telling you,
in case it bothered you.
It's not bothering me at all.
Cool. Me neither.
I don't care at all. Not a bit.
Seems like you care.
- I care so much.
- Yeah.
When did this porch get all these steps?
Dad. Dad, you okay?
Oh.
Why are you all wet?
I washed a few cars at the shop today.
14, to be exact.
Uh, why would you do that?
Well, I had a bunch of
those Four for $40s.
My guys couldn't get them
all done before closing,
and I can't afford
to pay 'em overtime, so
I'm just gonna take
a little break right here.
Okay, I hate to see you like this.
You shouldn't be working
yourself this hard, Dad.
You know what? You're right.
You should.
Yes.
I expect to see you two
at the Pit Stop at 7:00 a.m.
BYOB, bring your own bucket.
You have never known when to shut up.
Hey, babe!
Hey! Hey, babe.
How was your day?
- Oh, busy. Busy, busy, busy.
- Oh.
Yeah, you know, this Four for $40 thing
has got people lined up out the door.
I mean, I am beat, but
it's all good.
Oh. Good, good, good. Me, too.
You know, I can't make
these cupcakes fast enough.
Yeah.
You know what, babe?
I was thinking, if, uh
if it becomes too much for you,
you-you should take a break.
- You know what? In fact, you could
- What?
Don't be silly, baby. I love what I do.
And I owe it to all of your support.
I am living the dream!
Well, good.
Good. That's
what I was hoping you'd say.
Yep. I am so happy.
It's killing me, but I love it.
I know how you feel.
I know exactly how you feel.
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
We are so lucky.
Blessed and highly favored.
Yes, we are.
We washed nine cars, Pop.
Now we have to get back
to our real jobs.
Well, what do you have to do
that's so important?
Well, we're launching a probe
from Vandenberg Air Force Base
to find life outside our solar system.
And I have to help a freshman
with his bunt.
Which is just as important.
Hold up, uh, guys, hold up.
You know, there is
one more thing, and I
I hate to do this to you, but
business is down a little bit,
and, um
Well, I'm raising your rent, by 15%.
What? Come on, Pop. That's not fair.
Look, you're doing well for yourselves,
and it's time that you pay market price.
Look, you're both grown-ass men.
Yeah, but, Daddy, we don't want to be.
Oh
Yo, yo, yo, yo.
I got as many as I could find.
I got more in the car.
That's good work, Trey.
Wait, wait, wait, so your solution
to this coupon mess is
to steal the PennySavers?
Well, it's not stealing if they're free.
Besides, have you seen
the price of motor oil?
You know what?
I know a guy who knows a guy
who can get motor oil cheap.
Nope. Oh
All right, okay.
Wha-What's the catch, Trey?
I'm the catch.
I'm the guy who knows a guy.
I bet you get your oil
from a distributor.
Bad move. Never pay wholesale.
Wh-What's before wholesale?
I can't explain the economy to you.
You want the oil or not?
Yeah, I want the oil.
Wait, Dad, are you really
that desperate?
Well, it's either this
or I raise your rent again.
- Trey, call your boy.
- Yeah, call him.
Call him. Put him on the phone.
I don't like this, Calvin.
Would you be cool, man.
We're just a couple of guys,
buying suspiciously cheap motor oil
in a warehouse.
Yeah, a dark, empty warehouse, in
in an unincorporated area.
Will you relax?
Okay, fine. But, you know,
we wouldn't be in this situation
if you were just willing
to confront your issue
and open up to Tina.
Okay, uh, which one of
these guys is your guy?
I don't know these guys.
What do you mean
you don't know these guys?
This guy I know knows these other guys
who know these guys, I assume.
Okay. Oh, come on.
Which one of you is buying the oil?
Uh Oh, Calvin is.
You never say a guy's real name
in a warehouse.
You got the money, Calvin?
Oh, great, he's using my name.
You got the goods?
Yes, I have the goods.
What do you think is in these boxes?
The heads of my enemies?
That was weirdly specific.
I'm kidding. It was a joke.
It was a joke
about heads being in boxes.
He's funny. He's funny.
That's why it's funny, you know.
Uh
I would like to see the goods
before I give you the money.
Show him the oil.
This smells like piña colada.
It's from Fiji. They blend it
with coconut oil.
I'm not putting coconut oil
in my customer's vehicles.
I don't care what you do
with it, it's yours.
Now pay me, before
I put your heads in boxes.
Again.
He did it again. Yeah.
I love it, with the heads in the boxes.
He always goes to it.
Okay, so it's not a joke. Here you go.
Pleasure doing business
with you, Calvin.
That's Mr. Butler to you.
Okay, Dave, what are you gonna do?
Give the guy my mother's
maiden name, too?
Gemma? They said you needed to see me.
Did Noah do something?
No, no, no! Holly! I just
wanted to catch up. Come.
Sit, sit, sit.
I don't think I ever thanked you
for your help with the school carnival.
Two years ago?
There's no statute of
limitations on gratitude, hmm?
That's what I always say.
Hey, Noah is getting so big.
Is he 13 yet?
Almost.
Well, his birthday must be
right around the corner, eh?
That's great!
Do you need me
to volunteer for something?
No! No, no, no.
Nope. You're probably too busy
with that birthday coming up.
Did you say the party was this weekend?
I didn't.
Cut the crap, Holly,
I know about the cupcakes!
No. It wasn't in Whittier,
and it wasn't in La Mirada.
Like Cerritos?
I wish it was in Cerritos.
So it was in an unincorporated area.
Yeah, that's why it was so scary.
A lawless hellscape.
Well, my afternoon was no picnic.
I kind of went off on Noah's mom.
Oh, my gosh. Why?
I really wanted to get Grover
an invite to that stupid party.
Okay, Gemma.
Let me help you.
Why is this invitation
so important to you?
I mean, there must be
some sort of underlying issue.
There's no issue.
I would tell you. I don't keep secrets.
I mean, you've seen
my seventh grade haircut.
The bangs.
Okay. Gemma.
Relax, okay?
Lean back, take a deep breath.
Think back to a time
when you were a kid,
or maybe a teenager. Was
Was there ever a time
that you felt left out?
Or, I don't know, maybe
maybe like you didn't fit in?
You're good.
Well, thank you.
Now, where's Gemma?
Where did Gemma go?
It was my first year of middle school.
There was this program called "HAM."
High Achieving Math.
You stayed after school four
days a week and did algebra.
And that's something
your parents made you do?
I wish.
I didn't get in. All my friends did.
And those "Hamsters"
taunted me about it forever.
So, you didn't get to
stay late at school
and do difficult math
with a bunch of little jerks?
It was horrible!
I was in such a dark place,
I gave myself that haircut. Yeah.
- It was me! I was the one who did it!
- I know. I know.
I know, it's okay.
I just don't want Grover
to ever feel the way I did.
Finished my homework.
Can I play video games?
Oh! Mom's crying.
No.
Grover.
Mom is having a breakthrough.
Is that why there's so much snot?
Hey, pumpkin.
I need to tell you something,
because you're probably
gonna hear about it at school.
Noah is having a birthday party,
but you weren't invited.
Okay.
Wait. You're not upset?
No.
In class, he raises his hand
for every question,
and then he asks the teacher if
she forgot to give us homework.
If the teacher forgets
to assign us homework,
we don't have homework. That's the rule.
No, that's not true.
I don't make the rules,
Mom. The eighth graders do.
Oh, there you are.
Where you been?
You didn't answer your phone.
I didn't have any service.
I was out by Bellflower.
Near Hacienda Heights?
I wish I was near Hacienda Heights.
It was closer to Cerritos.
What were you doing
in an unincorporated area?
I was just buying oil, and, uh
I might be changing my name.
Don't ask.
Uh-oh, this doesn't seem like nothing.
It's-it's just been a rough couple
of weeks down at the shop.
Weeks?
Well, why didn't you tell me about this?
We tell each other everything.
We do, don't we?
Yeah.
Aw, hell.
Dave said that there's
strength in vulnerability.
What?
Here it is. Look, Tina, ever
since you left the Pit Stop,
it just hasn't been the same.
And I wish I could have you back, but
I could never ask you
to give up your cupcakes.
Done.
What?
Uh, th-they're gone.
You need me down at the Pit Stop,
so screw the cupcakes.
- Really?
- Really.
As your wife, I am willing
to make that sacrifice.
And as your husband, I'm not buying it.
That was too fast.
Okay, you got me.
I am sick of these damn cupcakes!
Are you serious?
Why didn't you say anything?
Because you were so proud of me,
and we put so much money
into the business.
I didn't want to let you down.
Tina, you could never let me down.
You're the most incredible
woman I've ever known.
Aw
I'm so glad we're honest
with each other.
Are you sure you want to
give up your business?
Positive.
Then welcome back to the Pit Stop.
I missed you.
I missed you, too, baby.
Mm-mm. Mm.
Oh, cupcakes.
Let 'em burn.