Awkward s05e05 Episode Script

Previously on Awkward - You accepted a real ring? - I couldn't say no.
He was gonna break up with you.
He said he was still into Jenna.
You can't hurt me because you are Jake, and I'm Matty [bleep.]
McKibben.
That over there, that is weird.
Ever since Spring Break, senior year had been about taking things a little less seriously.
Instead of worrying about GPAs and college acceptance letters, we'd be filling our calendars - with parties and pranks.
- _ But for some of us, our calendar was a reminder of all the things we weren't following through on.
Tamara, you have been not breaking up with Adam for three weeks now.
Valid point, Judge Moody, but in my defense, I have a legit reason for every one of those days.
I had a horrendo zit on that day.
Adam worked out in front of me on that day.
Adam worked out in front of me on that day.
You know, I totally thought I was anti-sweat.
Turns out I'm totally pro-persp.
Tamara, you can't keep up this fake-bride act forever, and I sure as hell can't keep up this fake-maid-of-honor act.
I don't understand why you can't just end it.
Unless Are you in love with him? As if.
He's a great guy, Jenna, but I am a 17-year-old girl who has a whole future of having sex with guys who just worked out ahead of her.
I'm going to end the engagement, I swear.
"Count me in.
Can I bring a plus-one?" What does that mean? "See you tomorrow night.
" What are they talking about? Oh, that.
That's just the engagement party that you're hosting tomorrow night.
Aw, you're the best maid of honor ever.
Tamara! Tamara, get back here.
Take a chill pill, Solange Knowles.
What is all this crap? Wedding cake designs, table assignment chart, fabric swatches? You had save-the-dates printed? Get your hands off my STDs.
Oh, suddenly, it all makes sense.
- What does? - You are in love.
Already been over this.
With wedding planning.
Oh, please.
Not just in love, obsessed, addicted to place settings and designer invites.
This one smells like lavender.
T, you have to stop this.
It's not right.
It's embarrassing.
Oh, cinnamon.
Stop it.
They're like Kettle chips.
Once you start, you can't stop.
You have to be honest with Adam.
You're right.
It's just this engagement party was Adam's idea, and he's so excited to meet all of my friends.
T, he thinks he's marrying you.
Call him.
He's already in the car.
What if he drives off a cliff? Fine, then when he gets here.
Okay.
"Hi, Adam.
"Thanks for driving two hours to our engagement party.
"These are my friends.
"So I don't love you, but, please, help yourself to a chicken croquette.
" Tamara had a point, an idiotic one, but still, a point.
She had let things go too far with Adam, and getting out of it at this exact moment was not going to be easy.
I'll break up with him in the morning.
It'll be better over brunch a brunch-up.
I promise.
Just, please, as my BFF, help me get through this party.
Adam is so looking forward to it, and he's probably sitting in traffic on the 405.
Fine.
This means so much to me, Jenna.
I hated when she pulled the BFF card, but this time, there were going to be limits.
Fine, but it ends tomorrow.
No more living in your deranged wedding fantasy land.
Tomorrow is truth and reality land.
So where are we having this thing? - Your house.
- What? Chillax.
Your mom said she's cool with it.
She and your dad are heading down to San Diego for the weekend for a pre-baby bone-a-thon now that your mom's nausea has died down.
Lacey confides in me.
Plus, she's so excited for my engagement, which is great, because there's no way in hell I can tell my mom.
Also, hello.
You're maid of honor.
_ What's it take to be number one? Some are just born with it, but there's a whole bunch of other junk that helps too dedication, protein bars You nervous, babe? No, not at all, just bored.
Jake, you're sweating through a suit jacket.
Okay, yeah.
I'm a little nervous.
This scholarship would be huge for me.
Ten grand it could decide what school I get to go to.
You deserve this scholarship your grades, the extra work you've been putting in.
You've been killing it on the soccer field.
You got this.
You think so? Yeah, just fix your tie so you don't embarrass me when you give your speech.
Also, I want to say big ups to Jesus and Quest Protein Bars.
This award is for you guys.
Whoo! Congrats, Peter.
Now, for the Ryan O'Connell Scholar Athletic Award.
Matty McKibben.
Hey.
Uh, wow.
This I mean, this is really It's cool.
So, yeah.
Thanks.
Now, for the Chester A.
Arthur Award for Aerobic Kickboxing Why are you so dressed up? It's an engagement party.
I'm being respectful.
Aw, how sweet.
The two losers throwing the party will be so surprised when someone shows them respect.
Maybe I'll wear deodorant.
How's the housing application coming? - "Smoker"? You don't smoke.
- Yeah.
I don't snore either, but if I don't want to end up sharing a room with some sea slug who smells like butt and hides weird cheeses under her bed, I have to lie.
It's the surest way to a single.
My aunt has this thing called night terrors where she screams in her sleep.
My Uncle Bralio has to sleep in the pantry most nights.
I am totally using that, along with IBS.
What's that? Irritable bow Let's not talk about it.
I might want to have sex again later.
All addicts need an enabler, and my BFF wedding planner was no exception.
All I had to do was kick back with a few friends and get through one more night of lies.
Piece of cake.
This is what you brought to my engagement party a pizza that you ate two slices out of? I didn't realize it was gonna be so elaborate.
I thought it was just gonna be a bunch of high-school kids getting drunk.
But it's the last night of your fantasy, so I'm glad you went all out.
So why are these butterflies in jars? Those are party favors.
There's two in each jar.
One represents Adam, and one represents me.
Ooh, that must be Adam and Brian.
I mean Adam.
Oh, my God.
- Brian's coming? - T? Turns out he's the best man, Jenna.
This is so uncomfortable for me.
Okay.
Take it down a notch.
So you let Brian station his soldier in your camp, and then you both shipped off.
The feeling was mutual.
You said it yourself, so what's the ish? The ish is I don't know if the feeling was mutual.
He's called me, like, four times since, and I sort of never called back.
You've put me in a really bad position, T.
Well, don't be all mad at me.
You would have known he was coming if you would've checked the invite that you sent out.
Also, is that what you're wearing? Welcome.
Come in.
Deviled egg? I hope it's okay that I brought a friend.
Since Matty ruined his life by being a drunken knob, no one would come with him, and knowing this party guaran-[bleep.]
-teed to be epically sad, there was no way I was missing it.
So happy to be here.
Oh, and I brought a plus-one.
Deal.
Thank you for having us.
- You'll make a beautiful bride.
- Okay.
Everyone help yourself to a glass of wine on the way in.
I'll take a beer if you have it.
Uh, this isn't a kegger, McKibben.
Oh, what up? Are we about to get Cr Crazy? I knew tonight was gonna be good.
Welcome.
Thanks for helping us begin our lives together.
Help yourself to a glass of wine.
I'll grab a beer if you have it.
We're having wine.
Everybody's having wine! The secret to being a great host to Tamara's party tonight was that everything was a secret.
The first secret was that Tamara was actually hosting the party.
The second was that the wedding we were honoring with deviled eggs and butterflies was never going to happen.
And since I'm a really bad liar, I knew the only way I had a prayer of keeping that secret was to avoid Adam at all costs.
Hey, Jenna.
How's my BGBFF? Best Girl's Best Friend Forever? You know, Tamara has that whole language thing I'm trying to keep up with.
Yeah.
Known her my whole life and still only know half.
I'll be honest I wake up every morning looking forward to learning something new from her.
You might want to sleep in tomorrow.
Huh? It's just my weird little sense of humor.
You're funny.
I look forward to a lot more laughs.
Yeah.
We're gonna need them.
Quick favor I don't mean to plan too far ahead.
That is a good plan.
It was torture, like that exercise where someone tells you not to think about an elephant, and then all you can think about is elephants.
I'm making a slideshow for the wedding, and I need some of T's baby pics.
- Can I get her mom's number? - Gabby, my girl.
I brought cheese balls.
- I don't know why.
- Are you okay? You seem a little Drunk? Just say it, Jenna.
- You can be honest.
- I really can't.
It's a slippery slope for me tonight.
The idea of spending a whole night with my ex who I cheated on with my current boyfriend who once dated both of the girls who are throwing the party Yeah, I don't drink often, but tonight I did a little pre-gaming.
Wow.
Look at you.
Jenna, come here.
Come come here.
I need to tell you something about you and Matty.
- What? - Hey, Jenna.
Hey, big guy.
"Big guy.
" My dad calls me "big guy.
" Well, I guess now you and him both call me that, which isn't weird or anything.
- So, uh, how are things? - Things are good.
It's a nice party you got going on here.
Pretty happy for those two, huh? I mean, it seemed kind of fast at first, but I'd bet anything they're in it for the long haul, you know? Yeah.
They're in for it.
So I, um, called you a couple times.
Oh, listen, I'm sorry.
I just wanted to get your thoughts - on an engagement present.
- Oh.
My buddy's got a resort up north, and he said he could get us a deal on a suite.
It'd only be, like, 400 bucks.
I just wanted to see if you'd go in on it with me.
You know what? Actually, I think I'm just gonna do my own thing, if that's okay.
Jenna, the fondue is chunky.
Uh, got to go.
I'm on fondue duty, fond-duty.
Jenna, you are funny as [bleep.]
.
Jenna, chunky fondue.
This is stupid.
Awesome.
Let's get the [bleep.]
out of here.
No.
I mean, Matty and I acting like idiots.
I'm going to congratulate him on his scholarship, try to end this stupid fight.
Okay.
I'll just wait here with all your pals and all the women you slept with.
Hey.
Just want to say congrats.
Oh, thanks.
It's only ten grand.
It's no big deal.
"No big deal"? Yeah.
I guess ten grand is no big deal when you're Matty [bleep.]
McKibben.
Hey, everybody.
It looks like someone put a wish in the Tamara and Adam wish bowl.
Um, what the [bleep.]
is that? Shh.
Jesus, Sadie.
It's when someone writes a wish for our future and puts it in the bowl.
Take it out and read it, honey.
Ooh.
That's spit-up food, I'm pretty sure.
Okay, you classless asses.
Who spit in the napkin? I got a wish for us, T.
My wish would be a future wrapped in your arms.
Jenna, where are you? The apps need to circulate.
Jenna! The only thing I cared about circulating was enough alcohol through my system to deal with the guilt of lying all evening.
Boo, bitch! You have to get down on this three-bean salad.
It is my jam.
Gabby, so, um, I'm just curious.
That thing you were talking about earlier, about Matty? Oh.
You want to know the secret? I don't know.
Do I? He lo lo lo loves you.
Ow.
What are you saying? I don't believe you.
It's true.
What's true? Just just spill it.
And she spilled.
I had spent the entire party trying to keep secrets, but now I was on a mission to hear one.
Gabby clearly knew something about Matty, and if I couldn't get a straight answer from her, I was going straight to the source.
Hey, big guy.
Why the hell did I keep saying that? Need some company? I really messed things up with us.
We were really good together.
What are you saying? I guess I'm saying that I miss the way we were.
I think I don't know.
I think I kind of love - You do? - Him.
What? Who? Jake.
Not, like, romantically, just like a brother.
Yeah.
No.
Completely.
I just, um You should tell him.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
People should say how they feel when they feel it.
- They need to communicate.
- Damn right.
And don't tell people I said I loved Jake, or I'll be really pissed.
Jenna, who should be inside, hosting, it's time for your speech.
What speech? I don't have a speech.
So the happy couple my best friend, Tamara Kaplan and Adam Walker.
Walker, right.
So these guys, huh? Yeah, just really going for it.
Just going right in.
Wow.
You know, some people might call them crazy, or, you know, some people might even say, I don't know, stupid, but they're teenagers, you know, 17 and 19.
I mean, what? And these people might have a point or not at all because these two are gonna be married forever, and no doubt about it teenagers.
It's crazy.
But is it? Or is it possible that you can know who you're meant to be with from the start, and maybe we just let a bunch of things like not saying how we really feel get in the way, and, you know, maybe it is better to wait and see if fate brings us back around in this crazy merry-go-round that seems to spin endlessly, making us want to barf in the process.
And, you know, does fate really exist? And if so, why even bother, you know? She is losing what's left of her tiny, pathetic mind.
To the beautiful couple.
I hope I'm lucky enough one day to find what you have.
Cheers.
This is so [bleep.]
stupid.
We're at an engagement party for two teenage dip[bleep.]
.
Like this is gonna last.
Please.
Speak it, Shady.
Knock it off, Sadita.
Why are you being so precious? She's going to college next year, and you know that the minute she gets there, she's gonna be in a frat-bro sandwich before she can even crack a book.
Marriage is for simple-minded asshats.
Where are you going? Bitches be tripping.
- Hey - Listen Listen I messed everything up.
It's okay.
Don't.
I kind of Dude, let me finish.
We both did some stuff.
You know how I I mean you and me You don't have to.
You don't have to.
I mean, you and me were like I want to.
Bro, I know.
It's chill.
- We cool? - Yeah, totally.
Good, 'cause I I know.
And I Oh, I know.
Okay.
What'd I do? - You're rude.
- News flash.
Like this is the first time you've noticed? It's the first time I've been called a simple-minded asshat.
I was saying that about people who Oh, come on.
Are you saying you're one of those people who Wait, are you saying you want Jesus, Sadita, don't flatter yourself.
Oh, thank God.
I thought you were about to As if.
We've known each other for, like, five minutes.
Then why? Because someday I do want to get married.
- Not to you.
- Why not to me? Because you're rude.
Fair.
And when it's right between two people, I think it's a nice thing.
You are simple.
Where I'm from, getting married is how you show someone that you love them.
Where I'm from, getting married is when you start to hate each other.
I swear, my dad went to jail just to get away from my mom, and I don't count on it being any different for me.
So what do you count on? My future.
It's the only thing I can count on.
And I count on mine.
You should.
I do.
So does this mean you're not gonna have sex with me later? Maybe if you beg.
I wouldn't count on it.
I would.
Oh, thanks for saving me out there.
Yeah.
Are you always like this? Oh.
Sorry my speech was bad.
No.
I'm not just talking about the thoughtless speech, Jenna.
All you've been doing today is been making rude faces at Adam and Tamara.
See, it's that face right there.
Why are you so unsupportive of them? It's your best friend in love with my best friend.
- Because she's not! - Okay.
What do you mean? - Why would you say that? - Because it's the truth, Brian.
They had this fun little thing in Mexico, and she got carried away and agreed to marry him because she thought he'd be shipping off before she ever had to go through with it, and she got all caught in these wedding details, and she doesn't love him, and she never did.
Jenna.
She never did.
Is that true? Tamara, I am so sorry.
Pigs in a blanket, anyone? T, I messed up everything, and you have every right to be mad at me.
I don't know how I feel.
I'm mad at you.
I'm mad at me.
And I feel horrible that I hurt him because I [bleep.]
.
[bleep.]
.
[bleep.]
, [bleep.]
, [bleep.]
.
- What? - I love him.
- Tamara, no - Don't do that.
Don't tell me I don't, because I do.
I love him.
I love Adam.
I might love wedding planning, but I can love Adam too.
I have enough love in my heart for both.
- T.
- Don't "T" me, Jenna.
I'm pissed.
I'm sorry.
Not at you, at me.
I'm the one that acted like an idiot, and now the guy I love just walked out of my life forever.
Okay, I guess I'm pissed at you too.
I can be pissed at you and be pissed at me.
I have enough anger and despair for both.
I have to let the butterflies go.
I felt terrible about sabotaging Tamara's relationship, but it was the thought of another relationship that was starting to give me butterflies.
Did Matty really have feelings for me? And was that Gabby in my yard with no pants on? Next on Awkward What if Adam is my Mr.
Big, and I just let him go? Calm down.
You are a relationship saboteur.
Am I the reason my relationships fail? I don't have time to detail all of the drama that you caused.
I got to go find my girlfriend, and if she's not here, where is she? What are you doing here? Was Matty here? I wasn't ready for this.