Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s05e05 Episode Script
Cool Hand Ed/Too Smart for His Own Ed
1
>> BL-BL-BL-BL-BL YEAH!
>> [PANTING]
>> ED, BEHAVE.
>> HA HA HA.
>> SHH!
>> [YAWN] [POP]
[TICKING SLOWLY]
[BELL RINGS]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
>> LISTEN UP.
HERE'S THE PLAN.
WE'RE BUSTING OUT OF THIS JOINT.
>> BUSTING OUT?
>> YEAH, BUSTING OUT.
I'VE HAD IT WITH
THIS SCHOOL STUFF.
GRAMMAR WHO'S-ITS, MATH
WHAT'S-ITS, SCIENCE, SOCIAL
STUDIES, GEOGRAPHY. WHO CARES?!
>> LOOK SHARP.
TEACHER, GUYS.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
>> [GRUNTING]
>> OK.
HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
WHEN THE TEACHER TURNS AROUND
WE MAKE A RUN FOR IT.
>> YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!
>> SHH.
>> THERE ARE SEVERE
CONSEQUENCES TO SKIPPING SCHOOL.
>> YEAH, EDDY.
THE SCHOOL WILL TELL SARAH,
AND SARAH WILL TELL MOM, AND MOM
WILL TELL DAD, AND DAD WILL
JUST SIT THERE AND WATCH TV!
>> BUT JUS
THINK OF IT, LUMPY.
ALL DAY: MONSTER MOVIES,
COMICS, AND ALL THE GRAVY YOU CAN
STOMACH.
[SQUEAKING] [DING]
>> IT'S TOTALLY
WORTH IT, DOUBLE D!
[WHISTLE BLOWS] >>
OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE.
YOU CAN'T JUST RUN FOR IT, EDDY.
A SUCCESSFUL ESCAPE DURING
SCHOOL HOURS WILL TAKE CAREFUL
PLANNING WITH
FLAWLESS EXECUTION.
PLANNING I WANT NO PART OF.
THANK YOU.
>> OH, YES, YOU DO, OR ED
HERE IS GONNA WRITE YOUR LOCKER.
COMBINATION ON THE
GIRLS' BATHROOM WALL.
>> YOU WOULDN'T DARE.
[SNIFFING] >>
WHO SENT YOU?
WHAT'D YOU HEAR?
>> IT WASN'T ME, EDDY.
HONEST.
IT'S PLANK.
HE WANTS TO ESCAPE, TOO!
>> NO WAY, JOSE.
>> PLANK SAYS
HE'LL SQUEAL, EDDY!
>> WHY THA
DIRTY LET ME AT HIM!
I'll I'll OK, FINE.
BUT IF I HEAR ONE PEEP OUT OF
EITHER OF YOU, YOU'RE GONZO.
>> I THINK I
TINKLED, PLANK.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
>> [GRUNTING]
>> COUNT ME IN.
CURSE PHYSICAL EDUCATION.
WE'LL RENDEZVOUS AT LUNCH HOUR.
IT'S THE ONLY TIME WE CAN
MOVE FREELY ABOUT THE SCHOOL.
SYNCHRONIZE YOUR
WATCHES, GENTLEMEN.
>> WHAT WATCHES?
>> AN OMEN, I'M SURE.
[BELL RINGS]
>> [WHISTLING]
[CAMERA CLICKING] [CLANGING]
>> HA HA HA!
>> MOVE IT, MOVE IT.
SO, HOW ARE WE BUSTING OU
OF THIS BOOBY HATCH, PROFESSOR?
>> PLANK SAYS
IT'S A DRAGON, RIGHT?
>> A HAMBURGER BY ANY
OTHER NAME WOULD BE AS CHEESY.
>> KEEP I
DOWN, NUMBSKULLS.
WE'RE TRYING TO BE SNEAKY HERE.
>> IS IT A
HAMBURGER, EDDY?
>> HARDLY, ED.
I'VE CONSTRUCTED YOUR WINGED
WISH, YOUR SOARING SKEDADDLE,
YOUR FLYING FLEE TO
FREEDOM, GENTLEMEN.
>> WOW!
>> WHAT ARE
WE LOOKING AT, GUYS?
>> OK, BREAK IT UP.
MOVE IT BEFORE THE SCREWS
FIND OUT WE'RE MISSING.
OH, BOY, OH, BOY.
>> UM, DOUBLE D.
I WAS KIND OF WONDERING
IF YOU'D SIGN MY PETITION.
IT'S FOR, LIKE, CUTER
GUYS FOR SCHOOL JANITORS.
WOULDN'T THAT BE COOL?
DOUBLE D.
ARE YOU OK, DUDE?
[SIREN] >>
WE'VE BEEN MADE!
IT'S NOW OR NEVER, BOYS!
>> WAIT!
I'M NOT FINISHED!
ABORT THE ESCAPE, EDDY.
THIS CRAFT IS NO
YET AIR WORTHY!
[PANTING] ABORT!
>> WE'RE FREE, BABY!
TO THE CUL-DE-SAC!
>> PINCH ME, PLANK!
WE'RE FUGITIVES!
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
>> DOUBLE D!
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
>> OH, DEAR.
WE'RE LOSING ALTITUDE, EDDY!
WE'RE CARRYING TOO MUCH WEIGHT.
>> WHAT?
>> NO OVERSIZED
NOGGINS, JONNY.
AIRLINE POLICIES.
>> HEY, YOU!
>> IT'S WORKING!
DOUBLE D!
HA HA HA!
>> MY NAME IS ED!
FLY ME!
>> AAH!
[BELL RINGS] [ALL
TALKING AT ONCE]
>> LET'S GO TO MY PLACE
FOR AN AFTER-SCHOOL SNACK.
>> SOUNDS COOL, KEVIN.
>> ROLF WILL JOIN YOU.
>> 3's A CROWD, DUDE.
>> ARE WE FREE YET?
>> THIS IS YOUR
FAULT, SOCKHEAD.
>> WHAT WAS
I THINKING, EDDY?
OHH
[MICROPHONE SQUEAKING]
>> [HUMMING]
>> YOU HAVEN'T GOT A
CHANCE THIS YEAR, DOUBLE D.
PLANK'S BEEN TRAINING.
HA HA HA!
>> W-O-T-H.
RESPUCK.
>> I CAN'T FEEL MY
TOES ANYMORE, ROLF.
WE'VE BEEN PRACTICING FOR HOURS.
>> WHAT PRAYER DOES
ROLF HAVE AGAINST THIS, THIS
TOO SMART FOR HIS HEART ED BOY?
>> YES, WELL,
GOOD LUCK, GENTLEMEN.
I'M SURE ALL WILL BE WELL.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THA
POOR DEFENSELESS DICTIONARY?
>> WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE?
ED'S CRAMMING FOR
THE SPELLING BEE.
FEELING SMARTER, ED?
>> WHAT?
>> AS PROUD AS I AM THA
ED DECIDED TO PARTICIPATE, I FEAR.
THE COMPETITION MAY BE
A TAD OVER HIS, UM, HEAD?
>> AH, DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR
LITTLE EGGHEAD ABOUT ED, 'CAUSE.
YOU'LL BE GOING DOWN IN
THE THIRD ROUND, RIGHT?
>> I BEG YOUR PARDON?
>> I MADE A BIG BET WITH KEV
THAT MONOBROW IS GONNA WIN IN.
THE THIRD.
SO STICK AROUND A ROUND
OR TWO SO IT LOOKS GOOD.
THEN BAM!
TAKE A DIVE.
>> SURELY YOU JEST, EDDY.
HOW COULD YOU ASK ME TO
DISENGAGE THE RULES OF LITERACY,
TO SQUANDER THE VALUES OF
SCHOLASTIC TRADITION, TO SPI
UPON THE VERY FOUNDATIONS OF
WHAT OUR LANGUAGE IS BUILT ON?
>> SO YOU'RE
SAYING YOU WON'T DO IT?
>> WHAT?
[APPLAUSE] >>
GOOD EVENING.
[MICROPHONE SQUEAKING]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DUDES AND
BABES, WELCOME TO THE EIGHTH
ANNUAL PEACH CREEK SPELLING BEE.
[APPLAUSE] LET'S
BEGIN, SHALL WE?
DOUBLE D, YOUR WORD TO
SPELL IS CERE CERE-AB
>> NAZZ, ARE YOU
PRONOUNCING "CEREBRAL"?
>> YEAH, DUDE.
TOTALLY.
[APPLAUSE] >> CEREBRAL.
C-E-R-E-B-R-A-L.
CEREBRAL.
>> THAT'S CORRECT.
>> AAH!
I'M RUINED, TAPPED OUT, BUSTED!
>> UH PLANK?
OK.
YOUR WORD IS DECI
DECIDA DECIDI
>> PARDON ME ONCE AGAIN.
DO YOU MEAN "DECIDUOUS"?
>> YEAH, THAT'S IT.
THANKS.
[BUZZER] OH, SORRY, DUDE.
YOU RAN OUT OF TIME.
>> WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF?
HE GOT IT RIGHT!
I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU.
WOOD-HATER.
>> BOY, THAT WAS CREEPY.
NEXT IS ROLF, AND YOUR
WORD IS, UM, COL ON I
>> COLONIAL?
>> RIGHT ON, DOUBLE D.
[APPLAUSE] [BREATHING HEAVILY]
>> ROLF'S MIND GOT BLANK.
[BREATHING HEAVILY] COLONIAL.
POPPYCOCK!
CURSE THIS MONKEY
[SPARSE APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU, NANA!
>> UM, ED.
YOUR WORD TO SPELL
IS EEK-TO-PLA-ASM?
>> [SIGH] ECTOPLASM?
>> I THINK SO.
>> OH, MAN.
>> GET READY TO COUGH UP,
LOSER, 'CAUSE MY BOAT JUST CAME IN.
>> OH, OH! I KNOW!
I SAW IT IN A MOVIE ONCE.
ECTOPLASM.
E-C-T-O-P-L-A-S-M.
ECTOPLASM.
[DING DING] >> CORRECT.
[APPLAUSE AND
WHISTLING] AWESOME!
YOU TWO ARE, LIKE, TIED.
>> LOOKS LIKE THAT BOAT'S
ON THE OTHER FOOT, HUH, KEV?
>> COME ON, DOUBLE DWEEB.
YOU PULL THROUGH, MAN.
>> OK, DOUBLE D.
YOUR FINAL WORD IS "GRAVY."
HEY, I GOT IT.
>> BETTER
LUCK NEXT YEAR, ED.
[APPLAUSE] AHEM.
GRAVY.
G-R-A-V-I.
NO, Y!
"Y" IS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY.
>> OH, DUDE.
YOU KNOW THE RULES.
OVER TO YOU, ED.
CAN YOU SPELL GRAVY?
>> GRAVY.
G-R-A-V-Y.
GRAVY.
YUM.
[APPLAUSE] >> THIS
YEAR'S WINNER OF THE.
PEACH CREEK SPELLING BEE IS ED!
[CAMERAS CLICKING] >>
SURE STINKS TO LOSE, HUH,
KEV?
>> YOU'D KNOW, DOOFUS.
MAN, HAVE YOU LOST IT.
I LOST A BUNDLE ON
YOU, DOUBLE HAS-BEEN.
>> KEV, WAIT UP.
>> WOOD-HATER.
[OWL HOOTS] [BELL RINGS]
>> YOU SEE
NOTHING, DOUBLE D.
>> ED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> UH-OH.
>> THERE YOU ARE.
OK, SMARTY-PANTS.
JIMMY WANTS TO KNOW IF
"X" IS "Y," HOW MUCH IS "P"?
>> SARAH ASKING ED
FOR ACADEMIC ASSISTANCE?
>> 25 CENTS
OR FLUNK, SQUIRTS.
>> OH, NEVER YOU MIND HIM.
I'll BE GLAD TO ASSIS
YOU BOTH FREE OF CHARGE.
>> YEAH, RIGHT, MR. I
CAN'T EVEN SPELL GRAVY.
>> HEH HEH HEH HEH!
>> UH-HUH.
UH-HUH.
YES, WELL, TO "P" OR NOT TO "P".
THAT IS THE QUESTION.
>> THAT'S THE
STUPIDEST THING I'VE HEARD.
>> SAYS YOU.
>> GIVE ME MY
QUARTER BACK, YOU FATHEAD!
>> SARAH, SARAH, WAIT.
ED'S RIGHT.
>> IF YOU TAKE THE "P" OUT OF
THE EQUATION, THE DIFFERENCE IS.
THE ANSWER. >> HE'S MINE!
I SAW HIM FIRST!
HA HA HA!
>> GO, BRAIN,
GO, BRAIN, GO!
[BELL RINGS] >>
MAN, AM I GLAD IT'S STUDY.
PERIOD.
LIKE, I GOT SO MUCH HOMEWORK
TO DO, IT AIN'T FUNNY 'CAUSE I'M,
LIKE, TOTALLY WORKING OUT.
>> YEAH.
I HEARD YOU THE
FIRST 4 TIMES, KEVIN.
>> STEP RIGHT UP,
FOLKS, AND BEHOLD ED!
THAT'S ONE "D," NOT TWO.
THIS EGGHEAD EL GRANDE SHALL
DOT YOUR T's AND CROSS YOUR I's AND.
GET YOU A's AND THAT'S NO LIE.
JUST 25 CENTS PER QUESTION.
CHEAP.
>> EDDY, THIS IS
HAPPENSTANCE AT BEST.
>> WHAT?
LIKE WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO LISTEN TO YOU?
BURNOUT.
I'M IN.
I'VE GOT SOME HOMEWORK
THAT NEEDS DOING.
>> HELLO.
ROLF REQUIRES ASSISTANCE, YES?
>> I COULD
USE SOME HELP, TOO.
WELL, MAYBE A LOT.
>> OH, DEAR.
CERTAINLY THERE'S
SOMETHING I CAN DO.
[TICKING] LOCKED?
HELLO?
ANYONE?
[GRUNTING] >>
MAY I AID YOU?
AS I AM A GOOD SPELLER.
SEE?
P-U-L-L.
PULL.
>> EGGHEAD ED HELPED YOU.
COUGH UP A QUARTER.
>> [SIGH] I REMINISCE
THOSE DAYS WHEN IT.
WAS MY INTELLECT YOU EXPLOITED
FOR YOUR OWN MONETARY GAIN,
EDDY.
ALAS, THEY'RE JUS
BITTERSWEET MEMORIES NOW.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
JUST LET ME SEE
THE CASH, HAMLET.
[CASH REGISTER
RINGS] HA HA HA HA!
I'M RICH!
CANDY STORE, HERE I COME!
>> WAIT FOR
EGGHEAD ED, EDDY!
>> HA HA HA!
WHAT?
>> WE FLUNKED OUT!
>> ALL F's.
>> WE GOT RIPPED OFF!
>> WE FAILED EVERYTHING.
>> WOE IS ME.
>> EGGHEAD ED'S A FAKE.
>> HE'S JUST PLAIN STUPID!
>> LOOK!
THERE HE IS!
>> RUN AWAY!
>> A LESSON
MUST BE TAUGHT!
[SHOUTING] >> FENCE!
>> WE WANT OUR MONEY!
[SHOUTING] >> SURE
STINKS TO LOSE, HUH,
DORKY?
>> HOLD IT!
I EARNED THAT FAIR AND SQUARE!
DOUBLE D, DO
SOMETHING, WILL YOU?
>> WHY NOT ASK EGGHEAD ED?
>> BREADSTICKS
HURT MY GUMS.
>> [CHUCKLING]
>> WAIT UP, EVERYBODY!
LET'S SPLIT THE CASH, OK?
>> ED, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU AND YOUR.
PERFORMANCE AT THE SPELLING BEE.
[GRUNTING] >> COOKIES
AT MY HOUSE, DOUBLE.
D, WITH LOTS OF MAYONNAISE.
>> THAT'S NO
REALLY NECESSARY, ED.
>> HELLO?
ANYBODY THERE?
>> GOT YOU THIS TIME.
WOOD-HATER.
>> JONNY.
YOU SCARED ME.
>> AW, WHO COULD
STAY MAD AT YOU?
YOU WANT TO HOLD HANDS?
>> UGH!
IN YOUR DREAMS.
>> WHAT?
YOU HATE BALD KIDS, TOO?
>> ED, EDD N' EDDY!
>> BL-BL-BL-BL-BL YEAH!
>> BL-BL-BL-BL-BL YEAH!
>> [PANTING]
>> ED, BEHAVE.
>> HA HA HA.
>> SHH!
>> [YAWN] [POP]
[TICKING SLOWLY]
[BELL RINGS]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
>> LISTEN UP.
HERE'S THE PLAN.
WE'RE BUSTING OUT OF THIS JOINT.
>> BUSTING OUT?
>> YEAH, BUSTING OUT.
I'VE HAD IT WITH
THIS SCHOOL STUFF.
GRAMMAR WHO'S-ITS, MATH
WHAT'S-ITS, SCIENCE, SOCIAL
STUDIES, GEOGRAPHY. WHO CARES?!
>> LOOK SHARP.
TEACHER, GUYS.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
>> [GRUNTING]
>> OK.
HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
WHEN THE TEACHER TURNS AROUND
WE MAKE A RUN FOR IT.
>> YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!
>> SHH.
>> THERE ARE SEVERE
CONSEQUENCES TO SKIPPING SCHOOL.
>> YEAH, EDDY.
THE SCHOOL WILL TELL SARAH,
AND SARAH WILL TELL MOM, AND MOM
WILL TELL DAD, AND DAD WILL
JUST SIT THERE AND WATCH TV!
>> BUT JUS
THINK OF IT, LUMPY.
ALL DAY: MONSTER MOVIES,
COMICS, AND ALL THE GRAVY YOU CAN
STOMACH.
[SQUEAKING] [DING]
>> IT'S TOTALLY
WORTH IT, DOUBLE D!
[WHISTLE BLOWS] >>
OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE.
YOU CAN'T JUST RUN FOR IT, EDDY.
A SUCCESSFUL ESCAPE DURING
SCHOOL HOURS WILL TAKE CAREFUL
PLANNING WITH
FLAWLESS EXECUTION.
PLANNING I WANT NO PART OF.
THANK YOU.
>> OH, YES, YOU DO, OR ED
HERE IS GONNA WRITE YOUR LOCKER.
COMBINATION ON THE
GIRLS' BATHROOM WALL.
>> YOU WOULDN'T DARE.
[SNIFFING] >>
WHO SENT YOU?
WHAT'D YOU HEAR?
>> IT WASN'T ME, EDDY.
HONEST.
IT'S PLANK.
HE WANTS TO ESCAPE, TOO!
>> NO WAY, JOSE.
>> PLANK SAYS
HE'LL SQUEAL, EDDY!
>> WHY THA
DIRTY LET ME AT HIM!
I'll I'll OK, FINE.
BUT IF I HEAR ONE PEEP OUT OF
EITHER OF YOU, YOU'RE GONZO.
>> I THINK I
TINKLED, PLANK.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
>> [GRUNTING]
>> COUNT ME IN.
CURSE PHYSICAL EDUCATION.
WE'LL RENDEZVOUS AT LUNCH HOUR.
IT'S THE ONLY TIME WE CAN
MOVE FREELY ABOUT THE SCHOOL.
SYNCHRONIZE YOUR
WATCHES, GENTLEMEN.
>> WHAT WATCHES?
>> AN OMEN, I'M SURE.
[BELL RINGS]
>> [WHISTLING]
[CAMERA CLICKING] [CLANGING]
>> HA HA HA!
>> MOVE IT, MOVE IT.
SO, HOW ARE WE BUSTING OU
OF THIS BOOBY HATCH, PROFESSOR?
>> PLANK SAYS
IT'S A DRAGON, RIGHT?
>> A HAMBURGER BY ANY
OTHER NAME WOULD BE AS CHEESY.
>> KEEP I
DOWN, NUMBSKULLS.
WE'RE TRYING TO BE SNEAKY HERE.
>> IS IT A
HAMBURGER, EDDY?
>> HARDLY, ED.
I'VE CONSTRUCTED YOUR WINGED
WISH, YOUR SOARING SKEDADDLE,
YOUR FLYING FLEE TO
FREEDOM, GENTLEMEN.
>> WOW!
>> WHAT ARE
WE LOOKING AT, GUYS?
>> OK, BREAK IT UP.
MOVE IT BEFORE THE SCREWS
FIND OUT WE'RE MISSING.
OH, BOY, OH, BOY.
>> UM, DOUBLE D.
I WAS KIND OF WONDERING
IF YOU'D SIGN MY PETITION.
IT'S FOR, LIKE, CUTER
GUYS FOR SCHOOL JANITORS.
WOULDN'T THAT BE COOL?
DOUBLE D.
ARE YOU OK, DUDE?
[SIREN] >>
WE'VE BEEN MADE!
IT'S NOW OR NEVER, BOYS!
>> WAIT!
I'M NOT FINISHED!
ABORT THE ESCAPE, EDDY.
THIS CRAFT IS NO
YET AIR WORTHY!
[PANTING] ABORT!
>> WE'RE FREE, BABY!
TO THE CUL-DE-SAC!
>> PINCH ME, PLANK!
WE'RE FUGITIVES!
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
>> DOUBLE D!
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
>> OH, DEAR.
WE'RE LOSING ALTITUDE, EDDY!
WE'RE CARRYING TOO MUCH WEIGHT.
>> WHAT?
>> NO OVERSIZED
NOGGINS, JONNY.
AIRLINE POLICIES.
>> HEY, YOU!
>> IT'S WORKING!
DOUBLE D!
HA HA HA!
>> MY NAME IS ED!
FLY ME!
>> AAH!
[BELL RINGS] [ALL
TALKING AT ONCE]
>> LET'S GO TO MY PLACE
FOR AN AFTER-SCHOOL SNACK.
>> SOUNDS COOL, KEVIN.
>> ROLF WILL JOIN YOU.
>> 3's A CROWD, DUDE.
>> ARE WE FREE YET?
>> THIS IS YOUR
FAULT, SOCKHEAD.
>> WHAT WAS
I THINKING, EDDY?
OHH
[MICROPHONE SQUEAKING]
>> [HUMMING]
>> YOU HAVEN'T GOT A
CHANCE THIS YEAR, DOUBLE D.
PLANK'S BEEN TRAINING.
HA HA HA!
>> W-O-T-H.
RESPUCK.
>> I CAN'T FEEL MY
TOES ANYMORE, ROLF.
WE'VE BEEN PRACTICING FOR HOURS.
>> WHAT PRAYER DOES
ROLF HAVE AGAINST THIS, THIS
TOO SMART FOR HIS HEART ED BOY?
>> YES, WELL,
GOOD LUCK, GENTLEMEN.
I'M SURE ALL WILL BE WELL.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THA
POOR DEFENSELESS DICTIONARY?
>> WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE?
ED'S CRAMMING FOR
THE SPELLING BEE.
FEELING SMARTER, ED?
>> WHAT?
>> AS PROUD AS I AM THA
ED DECIDED TO PARTICIPATE, I FEAR.
THE COMPETITION MAY BE
A TAD OVER HIS, UM, HEAD?
>> AH, DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR
LITTLE EGGHEAD ABOUT ED, 'CAUSE.
YOU'LL BE GOING DOWN IN
THE THIRD ROUND, RIGHT?
>> I BEG YOUR PARDON?
>> I MADE A BIG BET WITH KEV
THAT MONOBROW IS GONNA WIN IN.
THE THIRD.
SO STICK AROUND A ROUND
OR TWO SO IT LOOKS GOOD.
THEN BAM!
TAKE A DIVE.
>> SURELY YOU JEST, EDDY.
HOW COULD YOU ASK ME TO
DISENGAGE THE RULES OF LITERACY,
TO SQUANDER THE VALUES OF
SCHOLASTIC TRADITION, TO SPI
UPON THE VERY FOUNDATIONS OF
WHAT OUR LANGUAGE IS BUILT ON?
>> SO YOU'RE
SAYING YOU WON'T DO IT?
>> WHAT?
[APPLAUSE] >>
GOOD EVENING.
[MICROPHONE SQUEAKING]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DUDES AND
BABES, WELCOME TO THE EIGHTH
ANNUAL PEACH CREEK SPELLING BEE.
[APPLAUSE] LET'S
BEGIN, SHALL WE?
DOUBLE D, YOUR WORD TO
SPELL IS CERE CERE-AB
>> NAZZ, ARE YOU
PRONOUNCING "CEREBRAL"?
>> YEAH, DUDE.
TOTALLY.
[APPLAUSE] >> CEREBRAL.
C-E-R-E-B-R-A-L.
CEREBRAL.
>> THAT'S CORRECT.
>> AAH!
I'M RUINED, TAPPED OUT, BUSTED!
>> UH PLANK?
OK.
YOUR WORD IS DECI
DECIDA DECIDI
>> PARDON ME ONCE AGAIN.
DO YOU MEAN "DECIDUOUS"?
>> YEAH, THAT'S IT.
THANKS.
[BUZZER] OH, SORRY, DUDE.
YOU RAN OUT OF TIME.
>> WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF?
HE GOT IT RIGHT!
I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU.
WOOD-HATER.
>> BOY, THAT WAS CREEPY.
NEXT IS ROLF, AND YOUR
WORD IS, UM, COL ON I
>> COLONIAL?
>> RIGHT ON, DOUBLE D.
[APPLAUSE] [BREATHING HEAVILY]
>> ROLF'S MIND GOT BLANK.
[BREATHING HEAVILY] COLONIAL.
POPPYCOCK!
CURSE THIS MONKEY
[SPARSE APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU, NANA!
>> UM, ED.
YOUR WORD TO SPELL
IS EEK-TO-PLA-ASM?
>> [SIGH] ECTOPLASM?
>> I THINK SO.
>> OH, MAN.
>> GET READY TO COUGH UP,
LOSER, 'CAUSE MY BOAT JUST CAME IN.
>> OH, OH! I KNOW!
I SAW IT IN A MOVIE ONCE.
ECTOPLASM.
E-C-T-O-P-L-A-S-M.
ECTOPLASM.
[DING DING] >> CORRECT.
[APPLAUSE AND
WHISTLING] AWESOME!
YOU TWO ARE, LIKE, TIED.
>> LOOKS LIKE THAT BOAT'S
ON THE OTHER FOOT, HUH, KEV?
>> COME ON, DOUBLE DWEEB.
YOU PULL THROUGH, MAN.
>> OK, DOUBLE D.
YOUR FINAL WORD IS "GRAVY."
HEY, I GOT IT.
>> BETTER
LUCK NEXT YEAR, ED.
[APPLAUSE] AHEM.
GRAVY.
G-R-A-V-I.
NO, Y!
"Y" IS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY.
>> OH, DUDE.
YOU KNOW THE RULES.
OVER TO YOU, ED.
CAN YOU SPELL GRAVY?
>> GRAVY.
G-R-A-V-Y.
GRAVY.
YUM.
[APPLAUSE] >> THIS
YEAR'S WINNER OF THE.
PEACH CREEK SPELLING BEE IS ED!
[CAMERAS CLICKING] >>
SURE STINKS TO LOSE, HUH,
KEV?
>> YOU'D KNOW, DOOFUS.
MAN, HAVE YOU LOST IT.
I LOST A BUNDLE ON
YOU, DOUBLE HAS-BEEN.
>> KEV, WAIT UP.
>> WOOD-HATER.
[OWL HOOTS] [BELL RINGS]
>> YOU SEE
NOTHING, DOUBLE D.
>> ED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> UH-OH.
>> THERE YOU ARE.
OK, SMARTY-PANTS.
JIMMY WANTS TO KNOW IF
"X" IS "Y," HOW MUCH IS "P"?
>> SARAH ASKING ED
FOR ACADEMIC ASSISTANCE?
>> 25 CENTS
OR FLUNK, SQUIRTS.
>> OH, NEVER YOU MIND HIM.
I'll BE GLAD TO ASSIS
YOU BOTH FREE OF CHARGE.
>> YEAH, RIGHT, MR. I
CAN'T EVEN SPELL GRAVY.
>> HEH HEH HEH HEH!
>> UH-HUH.
UH-HUH.
YES, WELL, TO "P" OR NOT TO "P".
THAT IS THE QUESTION.
>> THAT'S THE
STUPIDEST THING I'VE HEARD.
>> SAYS YOU.
>> GIVE ME MY
QUARTER BACK, YOU FATHEAD!
>> SARAH, SARAH, WAIT.
ED'S RIGHT.
>> IF YOU TAKE THE "P" OUT OF
THE EQUATION, THE DIFFERENCE IS.
THE ANSWER. >> HE'S MINE!
I SAW HIM FIRST!
HA HA HA!
>> GO, BRAIN,
GO, BRAIN, GO!
[BELL RINGS] >>
MAN, AM I GLAD IT'S STUDY.
PERIOD.
LIKE, I GOT SO MUCH HOMEWORK
TO DO, IT AIN'T FUNNY 'CAUSE I'M,
LIKE, TOTALLY WORKING OUT.
>> YEAH.
I HEARD YOU THE
FIRST 4 TIMES, KEVIN.
>> STEP RIGHT UP,
FOLKS, AND BEHOLD ED!
THAT'S ONE "D," NOT TWO.
THIS EGGHEAD EL GRANDE SHALL
DOT YOUR T's AND CROSS YOUR I's AND.
GET YOU A's AND THAT'S NO LIE.
JUST 25 CENTS PER QUESTION.
CHEAP.
>> EDDY, THIS IS
HAPPENSTANCE AT BEST.
>> WHAT?
LIKE WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO LISTEN TO YOU?
BURNOUT.
I'M IN.
I'VE GOT SOME HOMEWORK
THAT NEEDS DOING.
>> HELLO.
ROLF REQUIRES ASSISTANCE, YES?
>> I COULD
USE SOME HELP, TOO.
WELL, MAYBE A LOT.
>> OH, DEAR.
CERTAINLY THERE'S
SOMETHING I CAN DO.
[TICKING] LOCKED?
HELLO?
ANYONE?
[GRUNTING] >>
MAY I AID YOU?
AS I AM A GOOD SPELLER.
SEE?
P-U-L-L.
PULL.
>> EGGHEAD ED HELPED YOU.
COUGH UP A QUARTER.
>> [SIGH] I REMINISCE
THOSE DAYS WHEN IT.
WAS MY INTELLECT YOU EXPLOITED
FOR YOUR OWN MONETARY GAIN,
EDDY.
ALAS, THEY'RE JUS
BITTERSWEET MEMORIES NOW.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
JUST LET ME SEE
THE CASH, HAMLET.
[CASH REGISTER
RINGS] HA HA HA HA!
I'M RICH!
CANDY STORE, HERE I COME!
>> WAIT FOR
EGGHEAD ED, EDDY!
>> HA HA HA!
WHAT?
>> WE FLUNKED OUT!
>> ALL F's.
>> WE GOT RIPPED OFF!
>> WE FAILED EVERYTHING.
>> WOE IS ME.
>> EGGHEAD ED'S A FAKE.
>> HE'S JUST PLAIN STUPID!
>> LOOK!
THERE HE IS!
>> RUN AWAY!
>> A LESSON
MUST BE TAUGHT!
[SHOUTING] >> FENCE!
>> WE WANT OUR MONEY!
[SHOUTING] >> SURE
STINKS TO LOSE, HUH,
DORKY?
>> HOLD IT!
I EARNED THAT FAIR AND SQUARE!
DOUBLE D, DO
SOMETHING, WILL YOU?
>> WHY NOT ASK EGGHEAD ED?
>> BREADSTICKS
HURT MY GUMS.
>> [CHUCKLING]
>> WAIT UP, EVERYBODY!
LET'S SPLIT THE CASH, OK?
>> ED, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU AND YOUR.
PERFORMANCE AT THE SPELLING BEE.
[GRUNTING] >> COOKIES
AT MY HOUSE, DOUBLE.
D, WITH LOTS OF MAYONNAISE.
>> THAT'S NO
REALLY NECESSARY, ED.
>> HELLO?
ANYBODY THERE?
>> GOT YOU THIS TIME.
WOOD-HATER.
>> JONNY.
YOU SCARED ME.
>> AW, WHO COULD
STAY MAD AT YOU?
YOU WANT TO HOLD HANDS?
>> UGH!
IN YOUR DREAMS.
>> WHAT?
YOU HATE BALD KIDS, TOO?
>> ED, EDD N' EDDY!
>> BL-BL-BL-BL-BL YEAH!