Jersey Shore s05e05 Episode Script

-Oh, dear.
What's wrong? -Vinny is not around.
I haven't seen Michael at all.
I'm looking for more people right now.
New roomates? -Let's go get Vinny.
-We're going to Staten island and kidnap your ass, bitch! Adriano_CSI - Vinny's home! - Whoo-hoo! - Vinny's home again! - Party! - Know what I'm saying? - Yeah.
- Welcome to your room again.
- Thank God.
- I love my vincenzo.
He's a blast.
Murp murp ba-nurp murp murp.
I'm excited.
We needed Vinny back in this house.
Now we're back to eight.
Thank God.
- It's just-- - Am I just the way you pictured me? - It's just the way I remembered, Except you're Tanner.
- So, what happened? Anything? - Um The situation is acting, like, super, like, Really, like, overly-the-top nice.
- I don't like that.
I like when he's a douche better.
- Exactly.
'cause it's real.
- What's the plan now? - I don't know.
Let's go to karma.
Let's have fun.
Vinny's back! - Why do you do that? It's my mirror.
- All right, stand right there.
Let me get behind you.
- Don't judge me.
- How can I help you? - Yeah, hi.
Um, could I get a taxi to 1209 ocean terrace? - It's gonna be 45 minutes.
- Okay, thank you.
- All right, we'll see you then.
Have a great night.
- All right, just so all y'all know, Taxi's gonna take 45 minutes.
- What? - At least.
Just so you know.
maybe three or four possibly.
Lay ollast second of this on.
On my forearm all the way across on each of them.
- Saying what? - Um, "loyalty" and "betrayal.
" - "betrayal"? - Yeah.
So you always remember who had your back and who didn't.
You know what I'm saying? - Really? - Yeah.
- Put "betrayal" on your arm? - Yeah.
- Mike knows nothing about loyalty And knows everything about betrayal.
Mike should get a tattoo that says "betrayal" and "betrayal.
" - Cab's here.
- All right, I'm coming.
- All right, let's get out of here.
- Let's go.
- Yo, Vinny's home! Let's go play! Yay! Karma! - It's definitely nice to have everybody back in the house, And I'm really excited to go to karma And just kill it like we always do.
- You want to go down? - Let's go.
- Cheers! - To Vinny back! - Whoo-hoo! - I'm gonna cruise over here for a bit.
- It's not surprising that as soon as we get there, Mike takes off and, like, does his own thing.
- I love this guy.
- He's all right.
- But that's it.
- Yo, don't talk to staten island girls, bro.
- I got my bitch Vinny back in the club, and it's great.
I turn around, Vinny's right there, and he's by my side.
He's my wingman.
I'm his wingman.
It's a perfect match.
- we were meant to be magical we were meant to be free see the sunlight that's on my face and how is it it could be - I peed on myself.
I got really excited, dancing with, like, my girls, And I, legit, peed myself.
Don't tell anybody.
Dude, I peed everywhere.
- Oh, my God.
Nicole is out of control.
She's fricking peeing on the dance floor.
It's crazy.
Like, thank God nobody else saw it.
- I need perfume.
Cool.
Honestly, I don't care.
If you spray perfume and take a shore shower, That's still considered a shower.
Thanks! Bye! Don't call me dirty.
I'm not dirty.
I smell phenomenal.
- In Italy, you know, everybody hated me, you know, So I'm absolutely nice now.
It's like, what--it's like, what are you up to? When are you blowing up the house? Are you a terrorist? - I'm going to piss.
Oh, this is gonna be bad.
Something funky's going on.
Like, I can't control my bladder.
If I piss blood, can we go to the doctor tonight? - Okay.
- Oh, God, where am I? I don't know what everybody's doing.
- Home? - Home, home.
- Come on, Mike.
- Someone stole my slippers.
- I gotta take a piss so bad right now.
- I'm gonna just make myself a hot pocket.
- I'm right here.
I didn't do anything, so shut the up, okay? Just shut the up.
- It's good to be back in the house, you know, Back, doing my thing next to pauly.
It's a good feeling.
You know, I'm home.
- Good night, boys.
I love you.
You say it back.
- I love you too.
- Love you, vin.
- All right.
You say it back.
I love you, vin.
Say it back.
- I'm not saying it.
- You blow for skittles.
- Waking up this morning, I'm like, Yeah, I need to throw out My--my--, like, smelly drawers.
I tried to do it discreetly so nobody saw.
Whatever.
Oh, God, I have no underwear on.
Party foul times ten.
- Need to wash these.
Oh, my God.
I kind of just went too hard last night.
My fused extensions got caught onto my clip-in extensions, And my hair is in a legit knot right now.
This is not okay.
This is not a good time at all.
What the hell? I got electrocuted.
Sam! I just got electrocuted.
My hand hurts.
My whole arm was, like, tingling, and I'm just, like, I cannot believe I just electrocuted myself.
If you get electrocuted, does it mean, like, You get up? - Like, what do you mean? - Like, do you think my brain's a little crazy? - Like your brain's crazy? I don't think so.
I think you'll be okay.
Police zap criminals with their electric guns - Oh, that's true.
- All the time, and they're all right.
- Yeah, maybe it just shocks you a little bit.
Is it the same electrical, though? - It has to be.
- Yeah? - There's different electrocutions? - I think so.
I think, like, a wall electrocution Is, like, electronics.
- Yeah, but I think, like, when the police do it, They zap the people and they, like, go down, 'cause it's so bad.
Like, you just got a little zap in your arm.
You should be all right.
- Yeah.
I'm like, what the hell is wrong with these electronics? Like, things that plug in the walls, Like, watts, or whatever they're called.
Come on.
- All right, let's go.
Let's get the out of here.
- I have no shorts.
- I want to go to jenks.
- Oh, I'll got to jenks.
- Yeah.
It's a beautiful day.
- Let's go to jenks.
Are you gonna get drunk today? - Yeah, I'll have fun.
- Promise? - I don't know about the others, though.
- We need to get Vinny drunk.
- Yeah.
- I feel.
Was it fun last night? You were with him, right? - No, I ended up veering off somehow.
Ronnie, Vinny, and pauly stayed together.
- Every time we go somewhere, like, as a group, Mike gets over us really quickly.
It's like he doesn't want to hang out with all of us.
- I gotta get dressed.
- If you look up "too much swag" in the dictionary, There'll be a great big picture of my face.
- Whoa, I'm gonna throw up.
I'm gonna throw up.
Don't do that.
- Don't--you don't throw up.
- Hey, it's Roger.
Leave me a message.
- I really wish you'd answer your phone.
I love you.
Bye.
- Dee! Where'd she go? Maybe I'll just put these over.
I'm wearing two underwears right now.
Just remembering what happened last night, I peed myself.
I don't want that to happen again in a thong, So, you know, over the thong I put on Booty shorts, Just in case.
Should I wear it? - Well, if you want to be fun.
You look like a walking party.
- Do I look okay in this - yeah.
- T-shirt? - Yeah.
Oh, I sprayed myself already.
- I feel you.
.
I got to make sure my boys are smelling good.
- Mike's been good lately.
- Not crazy.
- He ain't trying to kick.
But I just want to know, what's he up to And when is he blowing up the house? - In Italy, you know, everybody hated me, you know? So now I'm so nice now.
It's like, what--it's like, what are you up to? It's like, what are you up to? When are you blowing up the house? Are you a terrorist? - I feel like pauly, like, makes gestures, And I hate that.
You know, I feel like the boys are plotting against me.
- Say something.
- You're peeing? - All the bathrooms are taken.
- They pee outside and drink out of bowls.
- We don't need pets.
- Oh, my God! This should be on the fashion runway.
- Cab's here.
Cab's here.
- Let's do it out.
Ready? - I would be an awesome runway model.
- Whoo! - We're going to fricking jenks again today, And I love jenks, and I'm like Sunday, fun day at jenkinson's and I'm really excited - Mike! - What's up, brother? How's everything, big dog? I'm actually a native to this area, So I'm bound to run into a friend Pretty much wherever I go.
What's up, dog? Yo, you'll have to sit like in the corner or something, man.
You have to sit there, dude.
- It's just weird because whenever Mike is around, Like, an entourage of guys come, so - Oh, you come here.
No, you just come around.
- I don't know if these are actually Mike's friends Or just randoms that he met at the club Or pulled off the street.
I don't know.
- You know Bobby, right? I'm just gonna let him chill over there, You know what I mean? - I'm going to piss.
Oh, this is gonna be bad.
The fact that I peed myself at the club, Something funky's going on.
Like, I can't control my bladder.
If I piss blood, can we go to the doctor tonight? - No, tomorrow.
It hurts.
I can't deal with it.
- Mike's being a.
I thought we were all supposed to stay together, And he's, like, talking to strangers.
- Why does Mike do what he does? - I'm not washing my hands.
- Yeah, I don't ever do it.
- I feel like I have a uti right now, Because I have to pee every two seconds.
So uti doesn't stand for ultimate tanning institute.
It stands for a urinary tract infection.
But you could call it either way.
I'm in pain right now, So I need something to take away the pain.
- What are you gonna do? What do you want to do? - Tequila.
With salt.
Oh, you, uti.
I'm a vet tech, and I know what to do When it comes to utis.
I got us two Tequila shots because I need pain medication.
So drinking when you have a uti is kind of, you know, Like a painkiller, like, anesthesia.
Like, you don't feel it.
Oh, I need to go to the doctor.
I have a uti and it hurts like balls.
Or I'm pregnant.
- Hey, let's go.
Yo, do you want to go? - Let's do batting cages.
- No, I want to stay.
I want to stay at the bar over at the club.
It's a nice day.
There's girls around.
There's music.
There's the bar.
Why am I gonna leave? - Let's go do batting cages real quick.
- I'm chillin' here.
Y'all can leave.
I'm gonna--I'm gonna-- - Do you remember the little talk we had? - There's music, there's drinks.
- Whatever.
- Like, believe me, like, I'm--I'm chillin'.
- Wait, I've got to finish my drink.
- God, this is not my scene.
There's, like, nine-year-olds.
- We're actually dressed kind of well.
Nothing's showing.
- Do you want to go first, bro? - No, you can go.
- What's up, girls? Roll on through this way.
This is where the party's at, this way.
It doesn't make sense for us to leave And play baseball d walk around miserable.
See, this--this is where the party's at, right here.
I pretty much start my own little party In the corner of the club.
Cheers.
Cheers.
- I haven't played baseball in a year.
- We can't get hit, right? - Oh, God, we're gonna get hit, we're gonna get hit.
- That's how you do it, brah.
- Are you gonna swing in heels? - This is my bat.
- Oh, yeah.
- Go back to the gym, boy.
You can't play baseball.
You've got too much tricep.
- Oh! - Go, girl.
- I just don't want them to hit me in my urinary tract.
- Aah! Oh, I hate balls thrown at me.
I just want them in my.
Whoa! - All right, I'm over it.
- Now what? - Come on, poops.
Let's go.
- Yo, we're gonna go.
- Vinny.
- All right, see ya.
- I got you, brah.
- All right, man, see ya.
- Are you gonna come in this one? - Should we just go into our own cab? - Yeah.
- 'cause nobody wants to be with us? - Obviously, nobody wants to be with us.
- Mike! - Okay.
- Fun cab! Whoo! - You're in the fun cab! You're in the fun cab! - Me, Deena, and Mike get into the cab.
Everybody else goes in the other cab.
And I'm like, okay, Maybe we can start being friends like we used to be.
No, no! - Deena, snooki, Deena.
Like, I'm being so nice to every single person, And there's not one thing I did wrong to somebody.
- Mike, you need to hang out with us.
- Just so you all know-- just so you all know, I feel like there's certain people in the crib That like to gang up and talk behind my back, Because, "a," I've been nice.
- You don't hang out with us.
- If I--I--I'm with you guys - Mike, you need to stop going away from us.
- You know, he feels left out, And I feel like that's why he's saying this.
- Today, Ronnie was like, "people think you're playing this ," And I was like, "really?" And, like, I'm--like, y'all think I'm playing this? And, like, I feel like pauly, like, Makes gestures, and I hate that.
When it's just me and him, nothing but love, But when some of the others are around, I get, like, uh-- - so call him out on it.
And say, "what the?" - I feel like the boys are plotting against me, And I'm by myself and I better get ready To pretty much, you know, defend myself.
- Say something.
- I don't know who's talkin' , But I know somebody is.
- Just figure it out.
- Say ,.
- They'll all say "nobody.
" To what point do I now say? Here comes the situation, you know, And you're not gonna like it.
- Meow, meow, meow.
- Why are you putting beer on it? - Snooki is covered in black soot, And it is the best day of my life.
- Ron! - I have to pee.
- Can I pee with you in here? I don't care.
Mike! - I'm in the bathroom! - I've gotta pee.
I'm gonna go pee outside.
Where can I pee? I'm gonna pee over here.
I don't care.
I'm peeing.
Oh, God.
Oh, oh.
Ew! I needed to pee.
oh, my God.
- You're peeing? - All the bathrooms are taken.
I don't give a.
- They pee outside and drink out of bowls.
- We don't need pets.
- I'll just put your shorts over it.
Then it won't smell like piss.
I'm going to play.
- Gym, tan, I need some clearasil.
Gym, tan, I need some clearasil.
That's what the deal is.
I'm breaking out.
tanning ain't working and.
Gym, tan, acne.
- I hate you, but I love you.
- Stop it.
I love you too.
I gotta give you a hug for getting my back, kid.
- Uhh! - For Manning up and my back.
- For what? - Just tell what's up and tell me That, you know, you've got my back.
- No, you already know what's up in the house.
- I know what's up, girl.
- Everyone's talking about me.
- Your girl disappeared.
- I've been nice as hell to everybody this year.
- Mike, it doesn't matter.
Remember? "I like being the villain.
" So how the do we trust you? - Why does everybody gotta focus on Mike? Mike, Mike, Mike.
- Because you're crazy pants.
- Will you turn around? - You're crazy.
- I am a little wi-- - You're being crazy.
- I am a little wild, all right? I will admit that.
- I'm being honest.
Do you want me to be honest? - I'm walking up to the party deck, Like, I don't even know what's going on.
Oh, my God.
Your drawers are down.
- I happen to have a very bold, bold, bold personality.
- So do I.
- I don't bother anybody.
- All I see is Mike's pants unzipped, And his wiener just, like, barely hanging out, And I'm just like, what the hell is going on? - There's no reason to, like, be mean to me or anything.
I-I try to be nice to everybody.
I've been really trying hard in Jersey.
- No, I know you have.
- And everybody thinks I have, like, Hidden agendas and.
It's not true.
I make it my business to be nice to every single person In a different way every day.
I make it my business.
- Yo, I swear to God, That thing's talking to me right now, bro.
- I know.
I can't look.
This is why I'm, like, weirded out and staring at Ronnie.
- Mike is just up right now And doesn't even realize that his is out.
- I'm trying not to turn around.
I keep looking at it.
I'm eye level with it right now.
- You guys treat me like-- it actually upsets me, like, You know what I mean? And I just feel that some of y'all, Like, either, "a," don't believe me, Or "b," think I got something, like I'm a terrorist, Like I'm planning some.
Like, yo, Ronnie today, he said, "Mike is being extra-special nice, "but he's planning something.
He's, like, a terrorist.
" I'm just saying, like, I'm just being real.
You guys are my brothers and sisters, And like, uh, if there's anything, Anything I do at any time, please tell me.
I'll fix it.
You know what I mean? Like, please.
- I hear you.
- All right, dude.
All right.
- I'm, like, mind- that my terrorist comment Actually, like, set Mike off like that.
Like, it's a joke, Mike.
- Yo, what was that all about, brah? - There's nothing I could-- else I could do.
Snooks.
Like, there's--there's actually nothing else I could do.
Like, I could-- - You should say what's on your mind right now.
- I confronted every single person outside, And everybody said everything's cool.
So there's nothing else I can do, You know what I mean? Come with me.
I-I need to--I need to-- I need to talk to you.
Where are you going? Go out the other way.
Go out that way.
Like, I told everybody, I said, "please," you know what I mean? "if y'all-- if y'all got a-- "y'all got a problem with me or whatever in any way, Please tell me.
" - But you told me pauly's being fake, So why didn't you call pauly out? - No, I just went up to him just now and I'm like-- But I didn't single him out.
- Say what you really feel, you idiot.
- I can't accuse people because I don't know anything.
- Don't accuse people.
Just say, "this is how I feel.
What the is going on?" - Listen, it's either I'm 100% nice or 100% mean.
, that's what it is.
- No.
- I know that.
- So I feel like people are not accepting me being nice, You know what I mean? And it's--it's upsetting me.
- We don't trust you.
That's it.
- I feel like it's time to be bad.
It's time for me to stand up and confront people.
Press á69, 'cause you-- I-I wanna re-- I just want to rewind the phone call that you just started, 'cause I'm gonna have to deal with it in about five minutes.
- Mike, no - Mike, re--lax.
Relax.
- Like, for real.
Like, for real.
Instead of "the situation," it's "the confrontation.
" Yo, guys, I'm gonna say it right now.
I'm upset right now, 'cause I'm, like, I feel like, one, you guys are mad at me for something.
Let's spark this confrontation.
- What the is that? - Aah! - Oh, my God.
What the hell is that? - I just want to rewind the phone call That you just started, 'cause I'm gonna have to deal with it in about five minutes.
- Mike, no, re--lax.
Relax.
- Like, for real.
Yo, guys, like, I care about you guys as brothers, And I'm making it my business to be extra-special nice To every single body in every different way, And, like, if I've been a to y'all in any way, Please let me know, 'cause I-- - Where's this coming from? - I don't know, I don't know.
- But how did this spark? What sparked this conversation? - Something-- something happened today.
- Mike, be honest.
Go on.
- I feel like, like, that some-- One of you guys are mad at me for something.
I don't know what it is.
Maybe I'm crazy.
- But you've been all right lately.
- I know, I know.
I know, that's what I'm saying.
- Finally.
- Like, I'm upset right now, 'cause for me to think that you're mad at me-- - We go out every single day.
It's never been an issue.
- I know.
- What's the problem? I think Mike's drunk.
He drank too much and, um, overly emotional.
- If it's just me, then I apologize, for real.
- You don't need to.
- I apologize.
- Don't apologize.
Everything's fine.
- No, that's what I'm saying.
- The boys, they don't say anything.
They just, like, "oh, we're gonna float around, "and we're gonna pretend we like each other, But we really don't.
" - If I'm being a dumb little girl, I apologize, You know what I mean? - say something.
- It's so annoying.
- Nicole.
- Yo, look at the piece of wood.
Look at the wood.
Look at the wood.
Pull it.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- This is gonna be awesome.
- Everybody up, everybody up, everybody up.
- They're all upstairs.
We should, like-- - Do you want to go up there and just chill? - No, we're gonna do the bunny suit.
I feel like the house needs something crazy going on, And I really want to bring life to this house.
All right, you go upstairs to check them.
- What should I do? - Oh! - Ow! Ow.
- Ow.
- I just killed myself.
- Come on.
- You get into the bunny suit.
I'll go upstairs and say, "Nicole wanted to sleep.
" I am gonna lure them in, and she's gonna ransack them.
Is that a word? "ransack"? Cool.
- I'm starving.
- Me too.
- I'm hungry as hell.
- I'll be, like, "can I talk to you?" Just stay here.
I'll be right back.
Vin, can I talk to you? - What? - I'm, like, having anxiety.
- What's the matter? - Sit with me.
- What the is that? oh, my God.
- That was awesome.
Pauly! - What's up? - Can you come here? I want to talk to you.
- Okay.
- I like your thing.
- You want to what? - I want to talk to you.
There's something going on.
- Okay.
- What the hell is that? - Wahh! - Aah! Snooki is like this super sex-crazy bunny.
What the hell is that? Scary.
Sit down.
- What the? - What the? - Yeah! Whoo! Aah! I'm a bunny from britain, And I have no idea what goes on When it comes to fricking guidos.
- Holy.
- Nice boobies.
- How long has your been hanging out? - Oh, really? Uhh! I can't breathe.
- Wanna play, um, warm beer? - Yeah, warm beer, warm beer.
- Oh, you never played that? Me either.
- It's the funniest game ever.
- I'd love a game.
- It's a concentration game.
- Let's play.
- All right.
- The game is a memory game.
<.
You heat up this warm beer, And on the bottom of the beer, It develops this, like, soot type , And the person that's standing next to the person With the warm beer is actually gonna get soot on their face.
You do it so they can't see that it's there, like-- - All right.
It's a memory game, and snooki has the attention span Of a fish, So we know that we're gonna get away with this.
Snooki! So I'm like, "yeah, I'll do it.
" I'm like, "snooki won't get mad at me If I put something on her face.
" - What are we doing? - Let's start with him.
- Oh,.
- All right, ready? All right, so - Do something to me.
- Are you playing, jenni? - Yeah.
- So I gotta do what he did, and I gotta add something.
So this, this.
Bop, brawp.
Now you do it.
- Now you do something to me.
- Oh, freaky finger.
- Mustache.
Add some thumbs.
- Okay.
- All right, dog.
- You gotta add something to snooki.
Nose, mustache, chin.
- I've never played warm beer before, And I'm just like, this is a weird game, But I'll play it.
- We haven't had a yet.
- You can't add a-- right there.
- And chest there.
- The chest.
- Nose.
- Eyebrows.
- Brrr.
- How about a? - Draw the.
- Do balls.
- He's got all the there.
- Oh.
- He's got it.
- Snooki is covered in black soot, And it is the best day of my life.
Meow, meow, meow.
- Why are you putting beer on it? - What, are you trying to get your finger moist, bro? - Stupid.
- All right, all right.
- So dumb.
- Everyone's just laughing at me, And I'm like, wow, I must be a jokester tonight.
I'm like, whoo! And also, I'm gonna have a beer.
You don't tell me no.
- oh.
- I'm just gonna go pee.
Ron! - I love warm beer! - What the hell? - Warm beer, everybody.
- It's like, game on, bitches.
Like, you don't put on my face And get away with it, and I'm gonna get everybody back.
- Today was probably, like, One of the fun nights that we've had.
I loved tonight.
- That's 'cause Vinny's back.
- I have a headache, But I'm just gonna just go to sleep And sleep it off, you know? - I like to scare Mike a lot and I like to do pranks on him, Just because it's funny.
- Hello.
- What the hell? - Hello.
- What the hell? - What's going on? - I picked your nose and you ate your boogers.
- No, I did not.
- What a weirdo.
- When I'm on break, I happen to run into Roger.
I'm like, wow.
I have to tell jenni as soon as I get home.
- He was on the beach or on the path? - Hello? - Dena.
- What's up, girl? - Are you down to fi me and Nicole's hair? - Yeah, sure, I'll come.
What do you gotta get done? - I'm dying over here.
I haven't had it done.
- The works? - Yeah, the works.
Um - Okay, cool, well, I'll bring-- I'll bring a bunch of different colors And we'll mix it up.
P.
P.
- All right, bye.
Oh, you look tan today.
- I've been standing out in the sun for so long, Waiting for you guys.
Open up the gates, vin.
- You're making underwear? - I'm gonna make underwear so when I go out at night, I'll wear Booty shorts and I'm gonna have this saying, "I Jersey turnpike all night," so they show.
I'm gonna wear them, Jersey turnpike, And then they'll say, "I Jersey turnpike all night.
" That'll be so cool.
Would I be a large 'cause of my butt? - You do have a big butt.
- I worked it up like this.
Bad.
- Oh, sweet.
- Yeah.
You got a large.
- Yeah, they'll fit.
- Oh, those fit your big butt.
- Hi! - Hi! - My girlfriend dena's been doing my hair For five years now, and I'm gonna have The one girl that can do my hair right do my hair.
- I got you guys a bunch of, like, everything.
- Cool.
- So we can play.
- Yeah.
- All right? - That's a color, right? - I like it.
- Yeah? - Like, seriously, I need to get this done.
I need extensions.
I need something going on, Because my hair's fricking boring.
- Could I have next? - Yeah, you want extensions? - Mm-hmm.
I want extensions.
- Got you.
- who's knocking? - Oh.
Bro! - Hey, what's up? - Who's this creep knocking on my door? - Look at this guy.
- What's the word here, guys? - Snook, look what I found outside.
- Oh, God, I already heard his voice.
Whoops.
I forgot he was coming today.
- What's up, honey? - Hi.
- What's the word? - Hair day.
- How are you doing, sugar? - Mwah.
Missed you.
- Hair day, huh? - Look, dad, I'm getting pink.
By the way, I'm going to the doctor's later.
What's the problem? - I think I have a uti.
Okay.
- My dad was like, "I don't get why you keep getting utis.
" So I'm like, "I don't know, dad, but it's from sex.
" - So, how long are you gonna be, hon? - I'm not gonna leave for another hour and a half.
- Two hours.
- Yeah.
- Why couldn't you do this tomorrow? - I forgot you were coming down today.
- You forgot? How did you forget your father? Can you go get me cranberry juice? - I gotta go shopping too? - I need it for my bladder infection.
- All right, so what do you want? You need cranberry juice and what else? - Do you need eyelashes, jenni? - Yeah.
- Can you pick up some eyelashes? Long ones.
- She needs new underwears.
- Forget it.
I--forget it.
I'm drawing the line.
- All right, that's it.
- Okay.
- Love you.
- Yeah.
I'll see youse.
Let me go do your grocery shopping.
- What's going on, Mike? - I'm gonna try to get my first tat.
- Are you? - When I'm on break, I happen to run into Roger.
I'm like, wow.
Jenni complains about he's not calling her back.
It's a standoff.
And then, all of a sudden, Roger shows up out of nowhere.
- Good to see you, big dog.
- I have to tell jenni as soon as I get home.
- That was horrible.
- You want some of mine? - No, I want chocolate today, I think.
- You want me to get yours? I'll go-- I'm on my break still.
I'm trying to be nice.
I'm sorry, Deena.
I'm trying to be nice.
- I know.
I'm kidding, jerk.
- Come on.
Like, you know what I mean? You see, I make it a point to be nice to every single person.
I confronted everybody last night in front of everybody, And I'm like, if you have a problem with me, please tell me.
- Mm-hmm.
- So I'm gonna take it that everything's good, But I just don't think they wanted to say what they, You know, if they were saying anything or not, you know? - I have no idea.
- Because what you and snooks were getting at Is that they are talking.
- With me, I mean, I can't even speak for everyone else.
It's like, I love when you're like this, And I hope you just stay like this.
- Maybe I got a little too drunk yesterday or whatever, but-- - And also, you know, maybe, I felt like that in Italy.
Remember, I thought everybody was talking about me And no one was? Sometimes you just your head up.
- Yeah, but when I talked to snooki in the car with you, Snooki was like, "yo, like, stick up for yourself.
" And I'm like, "what are you talking about? I don't know what people are saying.
" - Mike is definitely like Jekyll and Hyde.
Like, one minute, he's, like, really sweet and nice, And the next minute, he's, like, At the drop of the dime, a nut.
- When I spoke to snooki, she made me feel like-- - She was also drunk, though.
- Really? - She's said some--sometimes she says things to me, though.
- But you too, though.
You too, though.
You kind of agreed with her.
- No, just like, If you feel like people are talking about you, You say something.
- Um, who knows.
This could be just a-- a joke.
I'm very confused right now.
I feel like I'm being volleyed back and forth From the boys to snooki and Deena, And it's like, who's telling the truth And who's lying? - Hi.
Love you.
- Want to go to the gym or something? - Yeah.
- Let's go.
- This is Blake's last sale.
You guys are out.
- Bye.
- Nice to meet you.
- I don't know when I'm gonna be able to see Roger.
I'm agitated.
- Uh, I have to tell jenni about seeing Roger, But it's like, uh, by telling jenni, It might start drama.
I just saw Roger.
- With his friends? - Yeah.
Yeah, he was at the boardwalk on the beach.
- He was on the beach or on the path? - Yeah, he told me he was on the beach.
- Was he clothes shopping or, like, in beach gear? - Beach gear.
- I am just so pissed off at this moment.
That pisses me off.
Mike saw Roger on the boardwalk, shopping, And on the beach with his boys, and I'm mad at him right now, 'cause I can't believe he didn't call me back.
You saw Roger today? - No.
- Mike said he did.
- No.
- He was hanging out on the beach, Like, right in front of the shore store.
- He's not hanging out with you? - But he's, like, right there, And he has his day off, so I'm He will have to do some serious, Serious apologizing and making up.
- It's not all right.
- pissed me off.
I don't even want to talk to him.
- Dad, you ready? - Let's go.
- See ya.
Have a wonderful day.
- Can you carry me there? - No.
- I'm too tired.
- Hey, guys, I just want to, um, like, I just want to apologize If there's anything that I have done And if there's anything that I am going to do-- - I'm apologizing now.
- I'm gonna apologize-- And apologize later.
- I was like, "yo, you gotta be up to something, brah.
It's like, you've been way too nice.
" I'm like, "you're like a terrorist.
" - Plotting and.
- You're plotting something.
But I was just joking, and he took it so serious, bro.
- What up, sir? - What up? How was work? - Eh, it was all right.
You know what I mean? - How was gym? - Yeah, good.
- My bad, buddy.
I think somebody was just trying to stir the pot, So I apologize.
- Mike is like a broken record.
He sticks to, like, one topic a day.
So he's always apologetic one day And he'll stick to that all day.
Tomorrow, it'll be a new frickin' thing And he'll stick to it all day, Whether he's hooking up with a chick, You'll hear about it the whole day.
- And I think I know what's up, you know what I mean? Somebody was just trying to cause a little trouble.
- All right.
- I know the-- I know the deal now, And I'm gonna have to fix it, you know? - Good.
- It has nothing to do with the guys.
- Yeah, yeah, no, I figured that.
I figured that.
- We're pretty much finding out Who the real troublemaker is, and, um, it's snooki.
They were doing it for their benefit, so-- So that I don't say anything, - But now-- now it's on now.
First time I see him.
- Well, I'm glad that you realize.
- Somebody up.
- It's really up.
You know what I mean? - The whole morning Mike is saying, you know, "I don't have ulterior motives for doing anything.
I'm a nice guy.
" And at this moment, Mike is planning on retaliating Against snooki and getting her back And telling jionni some, like, deep, dark secrets.
- Wait till I see him.
I can't believe I got blindsided like that by her.
- He's gonna let unit know to call jionni Or set jionni up somehow.
- Yo.
What's up, bro? - What up,? - Like, the real Mike is back, And I love watching all the he does.
I got my popcorn ready.
Let's get the show on the road.
- Come down, uh, and untangle the business That was, uh, unfinished.
- But everything was up today.
- Everything was actually nice, But then, all of a sudden, something happened yesterday And you start with me and, you know, I'm gonna finish it, you know? I'm kind of in the mood for a little trouble.
- What's your name? - Deanna.
- I'm Vinny.
I know that deanna is probably a sure thing, But then there's this other girl that's, like, really hot.
But Deena is keeping the girl deanna on the backburner.