Shameless US s05e05 Episode Script
Rite of Passage
I just think that if you were really a friend, you would find a way to show up when you say you're going to show up.
So I'm gonna fucking tell you what happened last week.
Let's just not let this happen again.
- You dealing drugs? - No.
If Fiona found out I was helping you with your drug fractions, she'd have my scalp.
The man gave you a 20.
That's 1/4 gram.
You gave up a teener.
That's 1.
5.
- Now you owe me 100 bucks.
- What? My wife and I were gonna have a little supper this afternoon for all our son's organ recipients.
You're all that we have left of our son.
- We will be there.
- How was your party? It was fun.
Not so fun for the boy you raped.
- Get the fuck- - Get off.
Why don't you find four other girls to fight? - Otherwise beat it.
- I want to learn how to fight.
I- I thought maybe you could train me.
Last night, I had an orgasm with a stranger on the dance floor.
- Wait, what? - That's how horny I am.
You know what that orgasm was? A cry for help from my coochie saying things ain't right at home.
So I went to the airport, and they even have unclaimed baggage just off to the side, just sitting there.
We got dress shirts, shoes, sweaters, pretty much everything- Wait, you went back to the airport? - Yeah.
Why not? - 'Cause it's fucking risky.
Your boyfriend is losing his shit.
You get the insurance money? $121,000.
All that fucking money wasted on child amputees.
How are we not sick of each other? It's only been a week.
- You want to get married? - I'd marry you.
Well, if it were up to me, I'd do it today.
Do it right now.
Holy fuck.
What do we do now? think of all the luck you got know that it's not for naught you were beaming once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? round up the friends you got know that they're not for naught you were willing once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? Mm.
Morning.
Little heroin to start the day? It's insulin.
You're diabetic? Is that a deal-breaker? What else don't I know about you? Uh, what do you want to know? What's your favorite color? Uh, blue.
So boring.
All right, my turn.
Uh, favorite Eagle? Bald.
Oh, come on.
The band, and the correct answer is Joe Walsh.
I didn't realize it was a quiz.
Okay.
Where do you want to live? I don't know.
That seems like the kind of thing that married people decide together, right? Like, along with who sleeps on which side of the bed? Mm, and how long to wait before you tell your family that you're married.
I'm not waiting to tell them.
Oh, so you- so you told them? Uh, well, I- I didn't tell them.
But I'm not, like, actively not telling them.
It's just, this is so fun, living in a bubble, keeping a secret.
Yeah.
Better to wait for our fifth anniversary.
I'll tell them today.
We'll do it together.
Okay.
Morning.
I need to talk to you.
- I don't feel like talking.
- I need to talk to you.
No- come- Hey! Hey! You come in here without knocking again, I'm gonna aim my ruger in your fat fucking face and empty the clip.
Looks like the only place you're aiming is down your boyfriend's throat.
I got you smokes, and that's not all.
This was stapled to the bulletin board at the rag-head's.
Who the fuck's this? - You, stupid.
- Shit.
That's not funny, asshole.
What's with all the fucking suitcases? Go.
Get out of here.
It doesn't look anything like you.
No one's gonna be busting down our door, okay? Yeah, I know, but now there's too much heat to do the moving truck scam.
Try stealing more suitcases? We got more than enough of those.
Could try running numbers again.
Great, it's like a CEO going back to being a fry cook.
First the Rub & Tug, now this shit? So an entrepreneur can't start a business in this goddamn neighborhood.
Cops can kiss my ass.
Why don't I do it instead? That feels pretty good.
Sun's coming out.
Nature's gonna dry all our stuff for us.
Nature got it wet.
Well, that's okay, 'cause grandpa promised to buy us a brand-new trailer.
You go number two? There was poop in there.
Oh, damn it.
Tank's full.
Okay, um, go use grandpa's potty.
Come on, sweetheart, and I'm gonna drain the tank.
Wow.
You look amazing.
Thanks.
I can't believe how much you've changed.
Have we met? Aren't you Iris Venable, the woman who owns this lot? Oh, wait.
I saw Iris yesterday, and she's 300 pounds and arthritic.
Who the hell are you? Ms.
Venable's real estate agent.
She put this lot on the market, and since you're not her, I'm gonna need you to remove your trailer and your pool and vacate immediately.
Where the hell am I supposed to put my trailer? - That's not my problem.
- Hey, hey.
Hold on.
What'll it take to buy me some time? More than an A-cup, baby.
I'm a 32-C- Ahh! Morning.
Where have you been? I will tell you tonight.
I've got news.
What is it? I'm gonna announce it tonight.
- Announcing it? - Mm-hmm.
We're here.
Just tell us now.
I got plans tonight.
Uh, so change them.
For a stupid announcement? No, thank you.
It's news about your sister who you love.
Think you can spare an hour? Gallaghers don't do announcements at dinner.
We do blackouts, suicide attempts, but never announcements.
- You knocked up? - No.
- Uh, brain tumor? - No.
Nothing like that.
We win the lottery? I got 10 bucks on the herp.
Yeah, Carl, that's right.
I'm getting everybody together to announce that I have an STD.
I'll text Lip.
You're acting weird.
What happened to you? Just another of life's little speed bumps.
Nothing a Gallagher can't handle.
You're not a Gallagher.
In name, no.
Genetics, yes.
- Where's dad? - Couch.
- What's Frank doing here? - Drying out.
And not in the usual way.
Well, he's got to go.
Don't forget about dinner tonight.
I'm- Fuck.
I'm sleeping.
We need to go see your lawyer lady.
Woke up in the park in the middle of a goddamn Filipino monsoon.
Look, we got to get that money.
The insurance money.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm working on it.
I need that new trailer.
I'm calling them now.
What? No.
No, don't call them.
You know how those corporations work.
It's layers of bureaucracy.
It takes time.
Hi.
Yeah, I need the number for Liberty- get- I already got the money.
I don't have it in hand.
I'm getting it this afternoon.
Lou told me yesterday.
Why didn't you say something? To get you the new trailer.
Wanted to make it a surprise.
Oh, dad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, no waterworks.
I am gonna pack whatever's dry.
Oh, and tell Fiona that I need to park my new trailer in the backyard.
There's no room in the backyard.
There's no trailer.
Feel bad for her.
Sammi? She'll forget about it by happy hour.
The sofa's sopping wet.
Because you don't have a bed for me.
I'll go find one on my own from people who actually treat me like family.
Yeah? Who's left? When I got this new liver, you know what else I got? People who care about me for a change.
Okay, come on.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Pacifiers have been known to cause cavities and orthodontic problems.
I don't care if they cause meth mouth and genital warts.
It keeps the babies quiet.
Give her one of my t-shirts.
It always calms her down.
Here you go, baby.
Look, this isn't about a pacifier, is it? This is about you riding some dude's thigh like a rodeo cowboy, isn't it? Been snapping at each other since the babies were born.
I already said I forgave you.
It's not that easy.
Okay, so what do we do? Only thing we can do.
We have to even the score.
You have to do what I did.
What, I got to ride some dude's thigh? Get off on a woman.
Any woman, as long as I don't know her.
Are you serious? Hand job only.
I'll watch the babies.
Is this some sort of chick trick? I cheated on you.
Now you have to cheat on me.
Won't you be hurt? I was hurt.
Of course I'm gonna be hurt.
That's the whole point.
Okay.
I'll do it for you.
What, the Florida heat gave you sunstroke, Gallagher? Let's go.
You can feel free to join in the fun.
My job is to watch you do your job and ensure a safe working condition for the work site.
Sooner you finish, the sooner you can send a pic of your little twig to your girlfriend, remind her what she ain't missing.
Oriental chicks don't care about size.
They got tiny vaginas.
Medical fact.
Is that right, or is that how you convince yourself that those Thai hookers actually feel something? Jose, you dumb shit.
Hey.
Get his wife on the phone.
Let her know he needs a lift to the ER again.
Again? What, this- this happens regularly? Never remembers to clip in his safety harness.
All right.
Get up there, kid.
- Me? - Yeah.
When one goes down, it's the next man up.
Since I don't have any men left, I guess you're gonna have to do.
Oh, fuck that.
What about Sully? He knocked up my sister's girl, Hayley.
Got to protect the family genome.
Come on.
Strap in.
It's slippery up there.
everybody put them hands up get your hands up now do it again get your hands up Gimp, you better hit the corner 'fore I smack you with a claw hammer.
Let's go sell some yeyo.
Oh, hello.
How's my boy's liver? Ah, filtering my blood, just like a good soldier.
Am I late? Are- aren't we having lunch today? No, next week.
The anti-rejection meds.
One of the side effects.
I mix things up.
I'll leave.
No, no, no.
No, no, I- I can change my schedule.
I don't want to impose.
Seeing even a piece of David is never an imposition.
Please, come in.
I remember where the kitchen is.
Wait.
Can I touch him? David's getting pretty hungry.
Yeah, of course.
Grab anything you like.
All right.
Hi, Rasheed.
Nice axe kick, Don.
Thought your free trial week was up.
You keeping tabs on me? Was looking forward to an uninterrupted workout, for once.
Rasheed said I could keep coming in, if I helped out around the gym.
Figured I'd start by showing you some moves.
You have moves? A few.
I think by "helping out," Rasheed meant mopping up the toilets and picking up towels, and judging by the ass-kicking I saved you from, I'm not the one who needed moves.
So teach me one.
There's something special about you, Frank.
There are others that got David's parts, but somehow I feel like you got his soul.
What? That's David's seat.
How did you know to sit there? No one's sat there since he was shot.
In the house? In that seat.
The home invasion.
Did a good job getting the blood out.
The stains I could remove but not the guilt.
I was in Milwaukee for work.
When he needed me most, I wasn't here to save him.
- You got a gun? - No.
What would you have done? You're right.
Maybe the gunman would have just killed me too.
Yeah.
I'm glad you're here.
Must get lonely.
This big old house, just the two of you.
Nights are the hardest.
Sounds like you could use some company.
I could- Well, yeah.
I could stay the night.
Longer, if you needed.
I couldn't ask you to do that.
Are you ready to say good-bye to your kid? No.
Then don't.
- Better.
- Yeah.
Well, I'm a quick learner at lots of things.
So when do I get to flash my new moves in the ring? - Whoa, slow down, Kimbo Slice.
- I'm ready.
Exactly what every fighter says right before they swallow a mouthful of teeth.
You see that girl over there? Check out those guns, like she stole 'em from Manny Pacquiao.
One grilled cheese and one BLT and a side of fries.
Out of decaf.
I needed table seven's order, like, five minutes ago.
- Where the fuck is Polo? - Okay.
You okay? I got the coffee.
Filling out next week's schedule.
Can you pick up a double on Tuesday? Sure.
Do you need to run that by your husband? Nope.
Hope that doesn't mean you're already filing for divorce.
I'm very happy.
So no regrets with the shotgun wedding? Shotgun weddings are when you're pregnant.
Yeah, good point.
I stand corrected.
But with a shotgun wedding, you have a valid reason.
Why are you giving me shit? Just picking up what I see.
Which is? A woman who's so happy to be married, she's not wearing her ring.
I stopped home.
Took it off.
Still don't want your family to know? Nothing says "no regrets" like hiding it from those you love.
We're telling them at dinner.
Fuck.
Jackie, take a break.
- Is she okay? - Yeah.
Her court hearing's this afternoon.
To get her daughter back? I told her to take the day off, and she insisted on coming in.
Look at you, flashing that bling around.
How does it feel to be someone's old lady? It's great.
Amazing.
Look, I can provide you an endless list of things that I don't know, but one thing I do is family court.
You're getting your daughter back.
I stayed up half the night painting her bedroom and then made oatmeal cookies and brownies and cupcakes.
Might have overdone it.
I just want her to be happy to be home.
You're clean six months.
You got a great new apartment.
Her foster family has a house with a yard and a fucking tree.
Times I was in foster care, all I wanted was to be back home, and you're a hell of a better parent than I ever had.
She'd rather be with you.
Thanks.
David was a good kid.
Altar boy.
Valedictorian.
Strong mattress.
Good lumbar support.
He loved that bed.
I used to open up the door at night.
I'd peek at him, watch him sleep.
You do that with your children? Every night.
Funny, I was flipping channels the other day.
I came across the Sox game, and I got a sudden hankering to watch.
I never liked baseball before.
Do you want to have a catch? I put the mitts away.
I never thought I'd touch them again.
- That's a great idea.
- All right.
I'm gonna- I'm gonna go see if they're up in the attic.
Yeah.
I never knew an altar boy who didn't have something hidden somewhere.
Whoa-ho.
Thanks for the liver, kid.
Here's to you.
Christ, Tommy, if you're gonna try and paralyze me, least you could do is offer me workers' comp.
Yo, Tommy, you got any bets you want to lay with Mike? Yeah, what are the odds Gallagher goes into traction by the end of the day? Better odds than you looking down and ever seeing your dick again.
Hey, since when are you back to working for Skinny Mike? Since the cops decided to make the streets safe for strollers and yoga mats again, - fuck you very much.
- What did we do? You're clearing a path for the yuppies by tearing down our neighborhood brick by brick, that's what.
Hey, the money I earn by tearing this shithole down allows me to put 50 bucks on the Royals.
Say "Thank you," and shut the fuck up.
It's lunch.
Hey.
Still slumming at home, huh? Yeah, two more weeks.
What was that shit you were telling me about with the doctor? Doctor? Fucking shrink stuff or whatever.
You mean for Ian? Is he okay? Yeah, he's fine.
I'm just asking, man.
What is it? It's a mental health assessment, but you're sure he's okay, though? He's fine.
I'll catch you around.
Hey, I covered table 12 for you while you were out.
It's your big tipper.
Does that mean I get half? Not a chance.
Sorry, I was on break.
Haven't seen you around.
Did you miss me? I always miss good customers.
I was in Tokyo.
You know you can buy used women's panties from vending machines there? You say that like it's a bad thing.
Were you there for work? I'm in jewelry.
I'd offer to bring you something, but I see you have that covered.
When did you get engaged? I skipped that part, actually.
- Married? - Mm-hmm.
I hope that doesn't mean this is the last time I see you.
- You need anything else? - No.
Don't you love this park? Which- which kid's yours? Flying solo.
You're here alone? It's not who you bring to the dance.
It's who you leave with.
I- Is that yours on the ladder? Cute boy.
No surprise there.
You stay away from my son.
- What? - Do not touch my son.
No.
No, no, no, no.
I'm not a pedophile.
- I'm calling the police.
- No, I swear.
I came for a hand job.
From you.
From you.
Excuse me? Look, I'm not into kids.
I mean, I am into kids but not in that Jerry Sandusky way.
I don't shower with them.
I mean, I have taken baths with my daughters, which isn't weird, right? I mean, my wife thinks it's weird because they see me naked, but I'm like, "Baby, they're five months old.
They're not gonna remember what daddy's dick looks like.
" Ahh! Gah! Ahh! Ahh! Hey, glad I caught you.
Uh, just heading to work.
How do I get buff? You know about training.
I need to bulk up fast.
Raw eggs, fresh vegetables, and a will to succeed.
- Really? - No.
Steroids, as long as you don't mind a ton of body hair and an enormous clitoris.
How much do steroids cost? I was kidding.
- They'd make me jacked, right? - I mean- Great.
Thanks.
Wait, you're not serious, are you? What'd he want? Eight ball, but he wouldn't cough up the five benjamins.
$500? Eight ball's $280.
It is? You got crib notes, and you still can't get it right.
You're straight-up dumb.
So I guess now is not the time to ask for a raise up in here? You are on seriously thin ice, Bieber.
And you still owe me 100 bucks.
Hey, vulture! I got rights.
Yeah, the right to get the fuck off this property.
Oh, you think I give a shit you're taking that wreck away? Well, guess what, you're doing me a favor, 'cause I got a brand-new one coming.
I got a brand-new one, bitch.
- For your big dinner.
- Thanks.
Hope your new hubby likes ziti.
You don't even know, do you? Give me the damn box.
You're hot.
What's your name? What do you want it to be? Your choice.
Andrew, Ulysses, or Ben.
Ben.
There's more where that came from.
It's against club rules to turn tricks.
That's not what I had in mind.
When's your shift done? Why? Can't believe you hooked up with those two.
Ellie's so gross.
Once you get past the c-scar, it's all good.
I got to bulk up, start juicing.
Need some money.
Get in line.
Thought you had a job.
I owe my boss a hundie.
I can make it at the dogfights tonight - if I put enough cash down.
- Dogfights? People pay to see anything bleed.
How much will they pay for a catfight? You ready for that catch? David's jersey.
It fits perfectly, Wade.
Could you call me dad? Ah, honey, look.
The whole family's back together again.
I need to speak to you.
That man is wearing David's jersey.
Who better to wear it? David is gone.
You think I don't know that? I wasn't here to stop it.
Get him out of here.
Do you hear me? Laura, please.
Everyone's betting against you, even at 20:1.
Good.
We'll clean up.
They said they'd pay extra if you made out with one of the girls first.
What do you want, tampon head? - Just need to know your ICE.
- Ice? In Case of Emergency, who the EMT should call when they take you to the hospital? What did you do to Ellie? She got off easy.
Ahh! Whoa.
Frank? Frank, are you in there? Sorry, but Laura said you had to go.
Thanks, dad.
Employees only.
Don't get your panties in a bunch.
I'm with Ian.
You seen him? Not tonight, you're not.
What the fuck does that mean? He was supposed to be home an hour ago.
You know where he is? Only know he didn't leave alone.
And don't get jealous.
If we weren't allowed to bang other guys, we'd be just as boring as straight people.
Hey, don't leave.
What'd you say? You just got here.
Oh! The fuck are you doing? Fucking cheat on me, Ian.
Won't get out of bed, and you're fucking bouncing off the walls.
I came out for you, you piece of shit.
Whoa, Debs.
Whose blood is that? Hard to say.
Could be Holly's.
Could be Ellie's.
Debbie gave them the mother of all beatdowns.
You can freeze-frame it to the exact moment where she cracked Holly's front teeth.
Uh, I thought you were taking the high road with them? This felt better.
As your legal guardian, I am obligated to say violence is wrong, but those bitches deserved it.
- Hello? - You seen Jackie? I went to meet her at her hearing today.
She didn't show up.
What? Hasn't been answering her phone.
Okay.
Meet me at her place.
Where you going? What about dinner? Uh, start without me.
What about the announcement? Whiskey.
The fucking bottle.
What's got you so riled up? Leave me the fuck alone.
Hey, maybe I can help.
I'd consider bringing you home, but I don't have one at the moment.
Wouldn't stop us from paying a visit to the alley.
I don't mind being bent over the dumpster for the right guy.
Guess that makes every other guy in here the right fucking guy.
Oh, excuse me for having a shitty day and wanting to let off some steam.
Not my type.
- Bet I could be.
- Bet you couldn't.
What's your type? Redhead.
I am downstairs.
- Batshit crazy.
- Check.
Packing 9 inches.
This isn't like Jackie.
No one answered when I knocked, but when I called, I could hear her phone ringing inside.
Jackie? Shit.
Oh, fuck.
Jackie.
Um, I'll call an ambulance.
- Hi.
- I'm Chuckie.
Hey, Chuckie, uh, can you tell Fiona that Gus is here? No.
Um, why not? She's not here.
Okay, uh, do you know when she'll be back? Can I go now? They're already sitting up.
I can't believe it.
I mean, they're not even five months old.
I think they're little baby geniuses.
Definitely didn't get that from me.
Oh, no.
- I did it again, didn't I? - No.
I cockblocked myself.
No, it's sweet.
This is Danielle.
She's three.
- Look at those curls.
- Yeah.
- She's with my ex tonight.
- Oh.
You want to get out of here? Yes, please.
Wait.
I think you're really cool, which makes me want to be honest with you.
I'm married.
My wife accidentally cheated on me, so she gave me a pass to get one hand job.
More like ordered me.
Are you serious? Crazy, huh? I have a hand.
Aren't pacifiers supposed to be bad for babies now? Do you have children? Then shut the fuck up.
Look who it is.
Wrapping up his ghetto summer tour before he heads off to the Ivy Tower.
The Ivory Tower, all right? If you're gonna talk shit, at least do it right.
Had it with you fucking Gallaghers.
I just had a long day at work.
Work, Mickey.
You ever heard of that? I just came here for a fucking beer, all right? You built up a big thirst selling out your neighborhood, huh? Look, I don't like this place changing just as much as you.
Yeah, except when the yuppie floodgates open, it's gonna be us out here drowning while you work on becoming a member of the future McMansion owners of America.
I'm just as fucking South Side as you are.
Really, so what are you doing to stop these gap-wearing assholes from taking over the hood, huh? Jack shit- What are you doing other than running your fucking mouth? I'ma make this place even shittier, so no one will want to live here.
Yeah? How you gonna do that? You gonna bury a radioactive waste? You gonna dump chemicals into the water? Carcinogens? DDT? Where do you think we can get DDT? Vietnam maybe.
Fuck it.
Guess we'll just have to go mess shit up here.
Hey, go get the car, Iggy.
Sully, you in? Long as I don't got to handle any radioactive waste.
What about you, South Side? Put up or shut up.
Hmm.
Your soldier didn't need any help standing at attention.
He's very patriotic.
Let's see what happens when I run my hand up the flagpole.
Oh.
You look like you could use a drink.
I make a mean Manhattan.
Oh, God.
I miss David so much.
Does that mean you want the drink or not? You wouldn't understand.
I lost the most important thing in my life once.
Tried to tell myself I'd be okay, pretending it never happened.
Kept myself occupied, thinking I could keep it out of mind, but there's no escape from the loss, is there? Do you ever feel whole again? You find other things to try to fill the void.
What other things? Weed, pills, coke.
You mean other things like that? Sure.
I didn't just lose my son that day.
I lost my husband.
Ah! They got the machines hooked up and everything.
Yeah.
All ready to make those nonfat fagaccinos.
No offense, bro.
Ooh.
Chalk dust? Yes.
Give me that.
I'm good.
Let's not stand around with our dicks in our hands, gentlemen.
All right.
Give me the spray paint.
Spray paint? We're not TP'ing the goddamn principal's house, Phillip.
The M16 or the AK? Are you afraid you're gonna lose that McMansion? Give me the AK.
On my signal, rip Juan Valdez a new fucking asshole.
What's the signal? Looks like they're gonna have to do some more work before they open.
Shit.
South Side, huh? Fucking knew it.
Yo, get the fuck in here.
Come on, let's go.
College bitch.
Hey, wait up.
Shit.
- Yeah! - Whoo-hoo-hoo! Any news? Take your pick.
- I'm not hungry.
- You got to be hungry.
You missed dinner.
Never found out if hubby likes ziti.
You know, just because Gus and I didn't have a two-year engagement doesn't mean I don't know him.
What's his middle name? You think I don't know my husband's middle name? It's Wendell.
You lying? Yeah.
She was so excited to get her daughter back.
My son was the one who found me on the kitchen floor.
Vomit, convulsions, needle sticking out of my arm.
He thought I was dead.
If he hadn't gone out and flagged some stranger down, I probably would have been.
He was five.
Oh, shit.
I never asked God for anything, really, but when I got visitation back, I was so nervous.
I begged, "Please, don't ever let me scare Will again.
Don't let me ever let him down.
" But she was clean for six months.
Oh, fuck it.
That doesn't matter.
My first thought when I saw Jackie lying there- I wanted to grab the syringe and see if there was anything still left.
If I dust your junk for prints, am I gonna be satisfied? I went through with it.
You did? Not sure how I feel about it, but at least we can put all this behind us now.
Oh, see.
I knew it.
I knew it was a trick.
Do you think I wanted to do it? I mean, kind of, but I only did it because you told me to do it.
You said this would fix everything.
I thought it would, but it's like putting a band-aid on a stab wound.
- The fuck is going on with us? - I don't know.
I've never been scared about us before, Kev.
Of what? How most nights I don't even want to come home.
V, this is what we wanted.
A family.
I didn't sign up to be pushed to the back of the line, Kev.
What did you think having kids was gonna be? Us first, like always.
Just with two other people in the house.
Where are you going? We're in the middle of a conversation.
- The babies.
- They're fine.
They're crying, which means they're not fine.
They're fed.
They're changed.
They're breathing.
Sit down.
What- Are you saying I have to choose? I'm telling you that if you go up those stairs right now, I'm not gonna be here when you get back.
If I go upstairs and check on our crying children, you're gonna leave? Just getting home? Yeah.
I was at the hospital.
Jackie OD'd.
Jesus.
Jackie from work? Is she okay? Yeah.
They're sending her home.
She's not getting her kid back.
That's for sure.
Fuck, are you okay? Yeah, I think so.
I don't know.
You want coffee? Yeah, sure.
Going to work without your boots? No, I'm going back to school.
- What? - Yeah, once the kids get up.
Well, I thought it didn't start for another couple weeks.
Yeah, I know- I called in to see if I could get in the dorms early, and they said if I, you know, help set up freshman orientation I could, so- Since when does Lip Gallagher cut summer break short for school? You hate your job that much? I almost became a paraplegic yesterday, so- So quit, but don't leave.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Yeah, you know, I'll only be a train ride away.
We'll miss you.
I'll miss you.
Hey, what was that, uh, that big announcement? You're not going back to jail, I hope.
Please.
- Are you pregnant? - No.
Married? Yeah.
Really? Yeah.
You- you got married? Yeah.
Fuck.
To who? Gus.
Who the fuck's Gus? I've mentioned him before.
Yeah, in passing.
Jesus.
Wh- Married.
Are you- are you happy, or- I seem happy? Yeah.
I'm a little freaked out too.
Sure, yeah.
No.
Who wouldn't be? Don't tell the kids yet, okay? I want to do it myself.
Okay.
I got to get ready for work.
Okay, yeah.
I should- I should finish packing.
Um Congratulations.
Mm.
Okay, don't be a stranger.
Okay.
Oh, good morning.
You're up.
Don't want breakfast to get cold.
Laura called in sick to work.
I just want to spend the day with you two.
You want me to stay? As long as you can.
I can still taste you.
Mm.
Hey, you got any Aspirin? A little too much Jager last night.
Uh, yeah.
I'll get it for you.
Dad never came home with my trailer.
He's not coming home with your trailer.
- What? - There's no money.
Never will be.
But dad said- He lied.
It's a Gallagher rite of passage, realizing he let you down.
He always will.
First time's the hardest, but, hey, it means you really are a Gallagher now.
You know where he is? Yep.
Hi, Laura.
Where is he? Fuck me.
Oh.
- No! - Shit.
- Are you okay? - She tried to stab me.
I stopped it.
- I did it this time.
- This time? I saved David.
That man is not David.
Yes, he is.
Well, then I fucked our son.
You slept with our son? He is not our son! Christ, you're fast.
I can keep this up for miles.
Where's my trailer? The money's gone.
Lawyer screwed me.
I didn't know how to tell you.
Wait! God damn it.
Hey, you watching Yevgeny? Where you been? Crazy night.
That what you call leaving the club with some fairy while I wait around for you like a bitch, huh? You're welcome.
Where'd you get this? It's from the producer of the movie.
What movie? I did a porno.
You did what? Yeah, you said we needed the money.
Some queen told you he'd pay you to do a porno, and you thought, "Yeah, that's a good idea"? He said he'd only give me $500, but I talked him up to $600, but don't worry.
The guy I did the scene with said he was clean.
He didn't use a rubber? Are you out of your fucking mind? Fuck.
Relax, psycho.
You are out of your fucking- Don't touch me.
Fuck's up with you? You need to pack your shit.
What? You're sick.
You need help.
I got to take you to a hospital, Ian.
Fuck you.
Hey, hey.
You are going to the psych ward or a fucking ER.
It's up to you.
Either way, you're going to a hospital.
You hear me? Okay.
I didn't know how important this was to you.
So, uh, let me take a shower, grab a few things.
Ian? Ian? Ian! Yevgeny! Thanks.
See you next time.
Hey, I got your message.
Hey, sorry about last night, dinner.
No, who cares about dinner? Y- your friend okay? Yeah.
They're gonna release her soon.
You all right? I'm scared shitless a little bit.
Well, it sounds like she's gonna be okay.
Not just about her.
You make me so fucking happy every time you play a song or say my name, but there's a little part of me that wonders if we didn't make a big fucking mistake, and that part of me just won't shut up.
Well, did it ever occur to you that I might be thinking the exact same thing? Listen, I can't tell you that this is definitely gonna work out.
There's no guarantees, but if this turns out to be a big mistake, then let's make it the most fun, big fucking mistake we ever made.
So, uh, I'll see you at home later? Yeah, which one? That's right.
We've still got to decide that.
Um, mine.
Hey.
You came back after all.
I did.
I'll let you two catch up.
So I'm gonna fucking tell you what happened last week.
Let's just not let this happen again.
- You dealing drugs? - No.
If Fiona found out I was helping you with your drug fractions, she'd have my scalp.
The man gave you a 20.
That's 1/4 gram.
You gave up a teener.
That's 1.
5.
- Now you owe me 100 bucks.
- What? My wife and I were gonna have a little supper this afternoon for all our son's organ recipients.
You're all that we have left of our son.
- We will be there.
- How was your party? It was fun.
Not so fun for the boy you raped.
- Get the fuck- - Get off.
Why don't you find four other girls to fight? - Otherwise beat it.
- I want to learn how to fight.
I- I thought maybe you could train me.
Last night, I had an orgasm with a stranger on the dance floor.
- Wait, what? - That's how horny I am.
You know what that orgasm was? A cry for help from my coochie saying things ain't right at home.
So I went to the airport, and they even have unclaimed baggage just off to the side, just sitting there.
We got dress shirts, shoes, sweaters, pretty much everything- Wait, you went back to the airport? - Yeah.
Why not? - 'Cause it's fucking risky.
Your boyfriend is losing his shit.
You get the insurance money? $121,000.
All that fucking money wasted on child amputees.
How are we not sick of each other? It's only been a week.
- You want to get married? - I'd marry you.
Well, if it were up to me, I'd do it today.
Do it right now.
Holy fuck.
What do we do now? think of all the luck you got know that it's not for naught you were beaming once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? round up the friends you got know that they're not for naught you were willing once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? Mm.
Morning.
Little heroin to start the day? It's insulin.
You're diabetic? Is that a deal-breaker? What else don't I know about you? Uh, what do you want to know? What's your favorite color? Uh, blue.
So boring.
All right, my turn.
Uh, favorite Eagle? Bald.
Oh, come on.
The band, and the correct answer is Joe Walsh.
I didn't realize it was a quiz.
Okay.
Where do you want to live? I don't know.
That seems like the kind of thing that married people decide together, right? Like, along with who sleeps on which side of the bed? Mm, and how long to wait before you tell your family that you're married.
I'm not waiting to tell them.
Oh, so you- so you told them? Uh, well, I- I didn't tell them.
But I'm not, like, actively not telling them.
It's just, this is so fun, living in a bubble, keeping a secret.
Yeah.
Better to wait for our fifth anniversary.
I'll tell them today.
We'll do it together.
Okay.
Morning.
I need to talk to you.
- I don't feel like talking.
- I need to talk to you.
No- come- Hey! Hey! You come in here without knocking again, I'm gonna aim my ruger in your fat fucking face and empty the clip.
Looks like the only place you're aiming is down your boyfriend's throat.
I got you smokes, and that's not all.
This was stapled to the bulletin board at the rag-head's.
Who the fuck's this? - You, stupid.
- Shit.
That's not funny, asshole.
What's with all the fucking suitcases? Go.
Get out of here.
It doesn't look anything like you.
No one's gonna be busting down our door, okay? Yeah, I know, but now there's too much heat to do the moving truck scam.
Try stealing more suitcases? We got more than enough of those.
Could try running numbers again.
Great, it's like a CEO going back to being a fry cook.
First the Rub & Tug, now this shit? So an entrepreneur can't start a business in this goddamn neighborhood.
Cops can kiss my ass.
Why don't I do it instead? That feels pretty good.
Sun's coming out.
Nature's gonna dry all our stuff for us.
Nature got it wet.
Well, that's okay, 'cause grandpa promised to buy us a brand-new trailer.
You go number two? There was poop in there.
Oh, damn it.
Tank's full.
Okay, um, go use grandpa's potty.
Come on, sweetheart, and I'm gonna drain the tank.
Wow.
You look amazing.
Thanks.
I can't believe how much you've changed.
Have we met? Aren't you Iris Venable, the woman who owns this lot? Oh, wait.
I saw Iris yesterday, and she's 300 pounds and arthritic.
Who the hell are you? Ms.
Venable's real estate agent.
She put this lot on the market, and since you're not her, I'm gonna need you to remove your trailer and your pool and vacate immediately.
Where the hell am I supposed to put my trailer? - That's not my problem.
- Hey, hey.
Hold on.
What'll it take to buy me some time? More than an A-cup, baby.
I'm a 32-C- Ahh! Morning.
Where have you been? I will tell you tonight.
I've got news.
What is it? I'm gonna announce it tonight.
- Announcing it? - Mm-hmm.
We're here.
Just tell us now.
I got plans tonight.
Uh, so change them.
For a stupid announcement? No, thank you.
It's news about your sister who you love.
Think you can spare an hour? Gallaghers don't do announcements at dinner.
We do blackouts, suicide attempts, but never announcements.
- You knocked up? - No.
- Uh, brain tumor? - No.
Nothing like that.
We win the lottery? I got 10 bucks on the herp.
Yeah, Carl, that's right.
I'm getting everybody together to announce that I have an STD.
I'll text Lip.
You're acting weird.
What happened to you? Just another of life's little speed bumps.
Nothing a Gallagher can't handle.
You're not a Gallagher.
In name, no.
Genetics, yes.
- Where's dad? - Couch.
- What's Frank doing here? - Drying out.
And not in the usual way.
Well, he's got to go.
Don't forget about dinner tonight.
I'm- Fuck.
I'm sleeping.
We need to go see your lawyer lady.
Woke up in the park in the middle of a goddamn Filipino monsoon.
Look, we got to get that money.
The insurance money.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm working on it.
I need that new trailer.
I'm calling them now.
What? No.
No, don't call them.
You know how those corporations work.
It's layers of bureaucracy.
It takes time.
Hi.
Yeah, I need the number for Liberty- get- I already got the money.
I don't have it in hand.
I'm getting it this afternoon.
Lou told me yesterday.
Why didn't you say something? To get you the new trailer.
Wanted to make it a surprise.
Oh, dad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, no waterworks.
I am gonna pack whatever's dry.
Oh, and tell Fiona that I need to park my new trailer in the backyard.
There's no room in the backyard.
There's no trailer.
Feel bad for her.
Sammi? She'll forget about it by happy hour.
The sofa's sopping wet.
Because you don't have a bed for me.
I'll go find one on my own from people who actually treat me like family.
Yeah? Who's left? When I got this new liver, you know what else I got? People who care about me for a change.
Okay, come on.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Pacifiers have been known to cause cavities and orthodontic problems.
I don't care if they cause meth mouth and genital warts.
It keeps the babies quiet.
Give her one of my t-shirts.
It always calms her down.
Here you go, baby.
Look, this isn't about a pacifier, is it? This is about you riding some dude's thigh like a rodeo cowboy, isn't it? Been snapping at each other since the babies were born.
I already said I forgave you.
It's not that easy.
Okay, so what do we do? Only thing we can do.
We have to even the score.
You have to do what I did.
What, I got to ride some dude's thigh? Get off on a woman.
Any woman, as long as I don't know her.
Are you serious? Hand job only.
I'll watch the babies.
Is this some sort of chick trick? I cheated on you.
Now you have to cheat on me.
Won't you be hurt? I was hurt.
Of course I'm gonna be hurt.
That's the whole point.
Okay.
I'll do it for you.
What, the Florida heat gave you sunstroke, Gallagher? Let's go.
You can feel free to join in the fun.
My job is to watch you do your job and ensure a safe working condition for the work site.
Sooner you finish, the sooner you can send a pic of your little twig to your girlfriend, remind her what she ain't missing.
Oriental chicks don't care about size.
They got tiny vaginas.
Medical fact.
Is that right, or is that how you convince yourself that those Thai hookers actually feel something? Jose, you dumb shit.
Hey.
Get his wife on the phone.
Let her know he needs a lift to the ER again.
Again? What, this- this happens regularly? Never remembers to clip in his safety harness.
All right.
Get up there, kid.
- Me? - Yeah.
When one goes down, it's the next man up.
Since I don't have any men left, I guess you're gonna have to do.
Oh, fuck that.
What about Sully? He knocked up my sister's girl, Hayley.
Got to protect the family genome.
Come on.
Strap in.
It's slippery up there.
everybody put them hands up get your hands up now do it again get your hands up Gimp, you better hit the corner 'fore I smack you with a claw hammer.
Let's go sell some yeyo.
Oh, hello.
How's my boy's liver? Ah, filtering my blood, just like a good soldier.
Am I late? Are- aren't we having lunch today? No, next week.
The anti-rejection meds.
One of the side effects.
I mix things up.
I'll leave.
No, no, no.
No, no, I- I can change my schedule.
I don't want to impose.
Seeing even a piece of David is never an imposition.
Please, come in.
I remember where the kitchen is.
Wait.
Can I touch him? David's getting pretty hungry.
Yeah, of course.
Grab anything you like.
All right.
Hi, Rasheed.
Nice axe kick, Don.
Thought your free trial week was up.
You keeping tabs on me? Was looking forward to an uninterrupted workout, for once.
Rasheed said I could keep coming in, if I helped out around the gym.
Figured I'd start by showing you some moves.
You have moves? A few.
I think by "helping out," Rasheed meant mopping up the toilets and picking up towels, and judging by the ass-kicking I saved you from, I'm not the one who needed moves.
So teach me one.
There's something special about you, Frank.
There are others that got David's parts, but somehow I feel like you got his soul.
What? That's David's seat.
How did you know to sit there? No one's sat there since he was shot.
In the house? In that seat.
The home invasion.
Did a good job getting the blood out.
The stains I could remove but not the guilt.
I was in Milwaukee for work.
When he needed me most, I wasn't here to save him.
- You got a gun? - No.
What would you have done? You're right.
Maybe the gunman would have just killed me too.
Yeah.
I'm glad you're here.
Must get lonely.
This big old house, just the two of you.
Nights are the hardest.
Sounds like you could use some company.
I could- Well, yeah.
I could stay the night.
Longer, if you needed.
I couldn't ask you to do that.
Are you ready to say good-bye to your kid? No.
Then don't.
- Better.
- Yeah.
Well, I'm a quick learner at lots of things.
So when do I get to flash my new moves in the ring? - Whoa, slow down, Kimbo Slice.
- I'm ready.
Exactly what every fighter says right before they swallow a mouthful of teeth.
You see that girl over there? Check out those guns, like she stole 'em from Manny Pacquiao.
One grilled cheese and one BLT and a side of fries.
Out of decaf.
I needed table seven's order, like, five minutes ago.
- Where the fuck is Polo? - Okay.
You okay? I got the coffee.
Filling out next week's schedule.
Can you pick up a double on Tuesday? Sure.
Do you need to run that by your husband? Nope.
Hope that doesn't mean you're already filing for divorce.
I'm very happy.
So no regrets with the shotgun wedding? Shotgun weddings are when you're pregnant.
Yeah, good point.
I stand corrected.
But with a shotgun wedding, you have a valid reason.
Why are you giving me shit? Just picking up what I see.
Which is? A woman who's so happy to be married, she's not wearing her ring.
I stopped home.
Took it off.
Still don't want your family to know? Nothing says "no regrets" like hiding it from those you love.
We're telling them at dinner.
Fuck.
Jackie, take a break.
- Is she okay? - Yeah.
Her court hearing's this afternoon.
To get her daughter back? I told her to take the day off, and she insisted on coming in.
Look at you, flashing that bling around.
How does it feel to be someone's old lady? It's great.
Amazing.
Look, I can provide you an endless list of things that I don't know, but one thing I do is family court.
You're getting your daughter back.
I stayed up half the night painting her bedroom and then made oatmeal cookies and brownies and cupcakes.
Might have overdone it.
I just want her to be happy to be home.
You're clean six months.
You got a great new apartment.
Her foster family has a house with a yard and a fucking tree.
Times I was in foster care, all I wanted was to be back home, and you're a hell of a better parent than I ever had.
She'd rather be with you.
Thanks.
David was a good kid.
Altar boy.
Valedictorian.
Strong mattress.
Good lumbar support.
He loved that bed.
I used to open up the door at night.
I'd peek at him, watch him sleep.
You do that with your children? Every night.
Funny, I was flipping channels the other day.
I came across the Sox game, and I got a sudden hankering to watch.
I never liked baseball before.
Do you want to have a catch? I put the mitts away.
I never thought I'd touch them again.
- That's a great idea.
- All right.
I'm gonna- I'm gonna go see if they're up in the attic.
Yeah.
I never knew an altar boy who didn't have something hidden somewhere.
Whoa-ho.
Thanks for the liver, kid.
Here's to you.
Christ, Tommy, if you're gonna try and paralyze me, least you could do is offer me workers' comp.
Yo, Tommy, you got any bets you want to lay with Mike? Yeah, what are the odds Gallagher goes into traction by the end of the day? Better odds than you looking down and ever seeing your dick again.
Hey, since when are you back to working for Skinny Mike? Since the cops decided to make the streets safe for strollers and yoga mats again, - fuck you very much.
- What did we do? You're clearing a path for the yuppies by tearing down our neighborhood brick by brick, that's what.
Hey, the money I earn by tearing this shithole down allows me to put 50 bucks on the Royals.
Say "Thank you," and shut the fuck up.
It's lunch.
Hey.
Still slumming at home, huh? Yeah, two more weeks.
What was that shit you were telling me about with the doctor? Doctor? Fucking shrink stuff or whatever.
You mean for Ian? Is he okay? Yeah, he's fine.
I'm just asking, man.
What is it? It's a mental health assessment, but you're sure he's okay, though? He's fine.
I'll catch you around.
Hey, I covered table 12 for you while you were out.
It's your big tipper.
Does that mean I get half? Not a chance.
Sorry, I was on break.
Haven't seen you around.
Did you miss me? I always miss good customers.
I was in Tokyo.
You know you can buy used women's panties from vending machines there? You say that like it's a bad thing.
Were you there for work? I'm in jewelry.
I'd offer to bring you something, but I see you have that covered.
When did you get engaged? I skipped that part, actually.
- Married? - Mm-hmm.
I hope that doesn't mean this is the last time I see you.
- You need anything else? - No.
Don't you love this park? Which- which kid's yours? Flying solo.
You're here alone? It's not who you bring to the dance.
It's who you leave with.
I- Is that yours on the ladder? Cute boy.
No surprise there.
You stay away from my son.
- What? - Do not touch my son.
No.
No, no, no, no.
I'm not a pedophile.
- I'm calling the police.
- No, I swear.
I came for a hand job.
From you.
From you.
Excuse me? Look, I'm not into kids.
I mean, I am into kids but not in that Jerry Sandusky way.
I don't shower with them.
I mean, I have taken baths with my daughters, which isn't weird, right? I mean, my wife thinks it's weird because they see me naked, but I'm like, "Baby, they're five months old.
They're not gonna remember what daddy's dick looks like.
" Ahh! Gah! Ahh! Ahh! Hey, glad I caught you.
Uh, just heading to work.
How do I get buff? You know about training.
I need to bulk up fast.
Raw eggs, fresh vegetables, and a will to succeed.
- Really? - No.
Steroids, as long as you don't mind a ton of body hair and an enormous clitoris.
How much do steroids cost? I was kidding.
- They'd make me jacked, right? - I mean- Great.
Thanks.
Wait, you're not serious, are you? What'd he want? Eight ball, but he wouldn't cough up the five benjamins.
$500? Eight ball's $280.
It is? You got crib notes, and you still can't get it right.
You're straight-up dumb.
So I guess now is not the time to ask for a raise up in here? You are on seriously thin ice, Bieber.
And you still owe me 100 bucks.
Hey, vulture! I got rights.
Yeah, the right to get the fuck off this property.
Oh, you think I give a shit you're taking that wreck away? Well, guess what, you're doing me a favor, 'cause I got a brand-new one coming.
I got a brand-new one, bitch.
- For your big dinner.
- Thanks.
Hope your new hubby likes ziti.
You don't even know, do you? Give me the damn box.
You're hot.
What's your name? What do you want it to be? Your choice.
Andrew, Ulysses, or Ben.
Ben.
There's more where that came from.
It's against club rules to turn tricks.
That's not what I had in mind.
When's your shift done? Why? Can't believe you hooked up with those two.
Ellie's so gross.
Once you get past the c-scar, it's all good.
I got to bulk up, start juicing.
Need some money.
Get in line.
Thought you had a job.
I owe my boss a hundie.
I can make it at the dogfights tonight - if I put enough cash down.
- Dogfights? People pay to see anything bleed.
How much will they pay for a catfight? You ready for that catch? David's jersey.
It fits perfectly, Wade.
Could you call me dad? Ah, honey, look.
The whole family's back together again.
I need to speak to you.
That man is wearing David's jersey.
Who better to wear it? David is gone.
You think I don't know that? I wasn't here to stop it.
Get him out of here.
Do you hear me? Laura, please.
Everyone's betting against you, even at 20:1.
Good.
We'll clean up.
They said they'd pay extra if you made out with one of the girls first.
What do you want, tampon head? - Just need to know your ICE.
- Ice? In Case of Emergency, who the EMT should call when they take you to the hospital? What did you do to Ellie? She got off easy.
Ahh! Whoa.
Frank? Frank, are you in there? Sorry, but Laura said you had to go.
Thanks, dad.
Employees only.
Don't get your panties in a bunch.
I'm with Ian.
You seen him? Not tonight, you're not.
What the fuck does that mean? He was supposed to be home an hour ago.
You know where he is? Only know he didn't leave alone.
And don't get jealous.
If we weren't allowed to bang other guys, we'd be just as boring as straight people.
Hey, don't leave.
What'd you say? You just got here.
Oh! The fuck are you doing? Fucking cheat on me, Ian.
Won't get out of bed, and you're fucking bouncing off the walls.
I came out for you, you piece of shit.
Whoa, Debs.
Whose blood is that? Hard to say.
Could be Holly's.
Could be Ellie's.
Debbie gave them the mother of all beatdowns.
You can freeze-frame it to the exact moment where she cracked Holly's front teeth.
Uh, I thought you were taking the high road with them? This felt better.
As your legal guardian, I am obligated to say violence is wrong, but those bitches deserved it.
- Hello? - You seen Jackie? I went to meet her at her hearing today.
She didn't show up.
What? Hasn't been answering her phone.
Okay.
Meet me at her place.
Where you going? What about dinner? Uh, start without me.
What about the announcement? Whiskey.
The fucking bottle.
What's got you so riled up? Leave me the fuck alone.
Hey, maybe I can help.
I'd consider bringing you home, but I don't have one at the moment.
Wouldn't stop us from paying a visit to the alley.
I don't mind being bent over the dumpster for the right guy.
Guess that makes every other guy in here the right fucking guy.
Oh, excuse me for having a shitty day and wanting to let off some steam.
Not my type.
- Bet I could be.
- Bet you couldn't.
What's your type? Redhead.
I am downstairs.
- Batshit crazy.
- Check.
Packing 9 inches.
This isn't like Jackie.
No one answered when I knocked, but when I called, I could hear her phone ringing inside.
Jackie? Shit.
Oh, fuck.
Jackie.
Um, I'll call an ambulance.
- Hi.
- I'm Chuckie.
Hey, Chuckie, uh, can you tell Fiona that Gus is here? No.
Um, why not? She's not here.
Okay, uh, do you know when she'll be back? Can I go now? They're already sitting up.
I can't believe it.
I mean, they're not even five months old.
I think they're little baby geniuses.
Definitely didn't get that from me.
Oh, no.
- I did it again, didn't I? - No.
I cockblocked myself.
No, it's sweet.
This is Danielle.
She's three.
- Look at those curls.
- Yeah.
- She's with my ex tonight.
- Oh.
You want to get out of here? Yes, please.
Wait.
I think you're really cool, which makes me want to be honest with you.
I'm married.
My wife accidentally cheated on me, so she gave me a pass to get one hand job.
More like ordered me.
Are you serious? Crazy, huh? I have a hand.
Aren't pacifiers supposed to be bad for babies now? Do you have children? Then shut the fuck up.
Look who it is.
Wrapping up his ghetto summer tour before he heads off to the Ivy Tower.
The Ivory Tower, all right? If you're gonna talk shit, at least do it right.
Had it with you fucking Gallaghers.
I just had a long day at work.
Work, Mickey.
You ever heard of that? I just came here for a fucking beer, all right? You built up a big thirst selling out your neighborhood, huh? Look, I don't like this place changing just as much as you.
Yeah, except when the yuppie floodgates open, it's gonna be us out here drowning while you work on becoming a member of the future McMansion owners of America.
I'm just as fucking South Side as you are.
Really, so what are you doing to stop these gap-wearing assholes from taking over the hood, huh? Jack shit- What are you doing other than running your fucking mouth? I'ma make this place even shittier, so no one will want to live here.
Yeah? How you gonna do that? You gonna bury a radioactive waste? You gonna dump chemicals into the water? Carcinogens? DDT? Where do you think we can get DDT? Vietnam maybe.
Fuck it.
Guess we'll just have to go mess shit up here.
Hey, go get the car, Iggy.
Sully, you in? Long as I don't got to handle any radioactive waste.
What about you, South Side? Put up or shut up.
Hmm.
Your soldier didn't need any help standing at attention.
He's very patriotic.
Let's see what happens when I run my hand up the flagpole.
Oh.
You look like you could use a drink.
I make a mean Manhattan.
Oh, God.
I miss David so much.
Does that mean you want the drink or not? You wouldn't understand.
I lost the most important thing in my life once.
Tried to tell myself I'd be okay, pretending it never happened.
Kept myself occupied, thinking I could keep it out of mind, but there's no escape from the loss, is there? Do you ever feel whole again? You find other things to try to fill the void.
What other things? Weed, pills, coke.
You mean other things like that? Sure.
I didn't just lose my son that day.
I lost my husband.
Ah! They got the machines hooked up and everything.
Yeah.
All ready to make those nonfat fagaccinos.
No offense, bro.
Ooh.
Chalk dust? Yes.
Give me that.
I'm good.
Let's not stand around with our dicks in our hands, gentlemen.
All right.
Give me the spray paint.
Spray paint? We're not TP'ing the goddamn principal's house, Phillip.
The M16 or the AK? Are you afraid you're gonna lose that McMansion? Give me the AK.
On my signal, rip Juan Valdez a new fucking asshole.
What's the signal? Looks like they're gonna have to do some more work before they open.
Shit.
South Side, huh? Fucking knew it.
Yo, get the fuck in here.
Come on, let's go.
College bitch.
Hey, wait up.
Shit.
- Yeah! - Whoo-hoo-hoo! Any news? Take your pick.
- I'm not hungry.
- You got to be hungry.
You missed dinner.
Never found out if hubby likes ziti.
You know, just because Gus and I didn't have a two-year engagement doesn't mean I don't know him.
What's his middle name? You think I don't know my husband's middle name? It's Wendell.
You lying? Yeah.
She was so excited to get her daughter back.
My son was the one who found me on the kitchen floor.
Vomit, convulsions, needle sticking out of my arm.
He thought I was dead.
If he hadn't gone out and flagged some stranger down, I probably would have been.
He was five.
Oh, shit.
I never asked God for anything, really, but when I got visitation back, I was so nervous.
I begged, "Please, don't ever let me scare Will again.
Don't let me ever let him down.
" But she was clean for six months.
Oh, fuck it.
That doesn't matter.
My first thought when I saw Jackie lying there- I wanted to grab the syringe and see if there was anything still left.
If I dust your junk for prints, am I gonna be satisfied? I went through with it.
You did? Not sure how I feel about it, but at least we can put all this behind us now.
Oh, see.
I knew it.
I knew it was a trick.
Do you think I wanted to do it? I mean, kind of, but I only did it because you told me to do it.
You said this would fix everything.
I thought it would, but it's like putting a band-aid on a stab wound.
- The fuck is going on with us? - I don't know.
I've never been scared about us before, Kev.
Of what? How most nights I don't even want to come home.
V, this is what we wanted.
A family.
I didn't sign up to be pushed to the back of the line, Kev.
What did you think having kids was gonna be? Us first, like always.
Just with two other people in the house.
Where are you going? We're in the middle of a conversation.
- The babies.
- They're fine.
They're crying, which means they're not fine.
They're fed.
They're changed.
They're breathing.
Sit down.
What- Are you saying I have to choose? I'm telling you that if you go up those stairs right now, I'm not gonna be here when you get back.
If I go upstairs and check on our crying children, you're gonna leave? Just getting home? Yeah.
I was at the hospital.
Jackie OD'd.
Jesus.
Jackie from work? Is she okay? Yeah.
They're sending her home.
She's not getting her kid back.
That's for sure.
Fuck, are you okay? Yeah, I think so.
I don't know.
You want coffee? Yeah, sure.
Going to work without your boots? No, I'm going back to school.
- What? - Yeah, once the kids get up.
Well, I thought it didn't start for another couple weeks.
Yeah, I know- I called in to see if I could get in the dorms early, and they said if I, you know, help set up freshman orientation I could, so- Since when does Lip Gallagher cut summer break short for school? You hate your job that much? I almost became a paraplegic yesterday, so- So quit, but don't leave.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Yeah, you know, I'll only be a train ride away.
We'll miss you.
I'll miss you.
Hey, what was that, uh, that big announcement? You're not going back to jail, I hope.
Please.
- Are you pregnant? - No.
Married? Yeah.
Really? Yeah.
You- you got married? Yeah.
Fuck.
To who? Gus.
Who the fuck's Gus? I've mentioned him before.
Yeah, in passing.
Jesus.
Wh- Married.
Are you- are you happy, or- I seem happy? Yeah.
I'm a little freaked out too.
Sure, yeah.
No.
Who wouldn't be? Don't tell the kids yet, okay? I want to do it myself.
Okay.
I got to get ready for work.
Okay, yeah.
I should- I should finish packing.
Um Congratulations.
Mm.
Okay, don't be a stranger.
Okay.
Oh, good morning.
You're up.
Don't want breakfast to get cold.
Laura called in sick to work.
I just want to spend the day with you two.
You want me to stay? As long as you can.
I can still taste you.
Mm.
Hey, you got any Aspirin? A little too much Jager last night.
Uh, yeah.
I'll get it for you.
Dad never came home with my trailer.
He's not coming home with your trailer.
- What? - There's no money.
Never will be.
But dad said- He lied.
It's a Gallagher rite of passage, realizing he let you down.
He always will.
First time's the hardest, but, hey, it means you really are a Gallagher now.
You know where he is? Yep.
Hi, Laura.
Where is he? Fuck me.
Oh.
- No! - Shit.
- Are you okay? - She tried to stab me.
I stopped it.
- I did it this time.
- This time? I saved David.
That man is not David.
Yes, he is.
Well, then I fucked our son.
You slept with our son? He is not our son! Christ, you're fast.
I can keep this up for miles.
Where's my trailer? The money's gone.
Lawyer screwed me.
I didn't know how to tell you.
Wait! God damn it.
Hey, you watching Yevgeny? Where you been? Crazy night.
That what you call leaving the club with some fairy while I wait around for you like a bitch, huh? You're welcome.
Where'd you get this? It's from the producer of the movie.
What movie? I did a porno.
You did what? Yeah, you said we needed the money.
Some queen told you he'd pay you to do a porno, and you thought, "Yeah, that's a good idea"? He said he'd only give me $500, but I talked him up to $600, but don't worry.
The guy I did the scene with said he was clean.
He didn't use a rubber? Are you out of your fucking mind? Fuck.
Relax, psycho.
You are out of your fucking- Don't touch me.
Fuck's up with you? You need to pack your shit.
What? You're sick.
You need help.
I got to take you to a hospital, Ian.
Fuck you.
Hey, hey.
You are going to the psych ward or a fucking ER.
It's up to you.
Either way, you're going to a hospital.
You hear me? Okay.
I didn't know how important this was to you.
So, uh, let me take a shower, grab a few things.
Ian? Ian? Ian! Yevgeny! Thanks.
See you next time.
Hey, I got your message.
Hey, sorry about last night, dinner.
No, who cares about dinner? Y- your friend okay? Yeah.
They're gonna release her soon.
You all right? I'm scared shitless a little bit.
Well, it sounds like she's gonna be okay.
Not just about her.
You make me so fucking happy every time you play a song or say my name, but there's a little part of me that wonders if we didn't make a big fucking mistake, and that part of me just won't shut up.
Well, did it ever occur to you that I might be thinking the exact same thing? Listen, I can't tell you that this is definitely gonna work out.
There's no guarantees, but if this turns out to be a big mistake, then let's make it the most fun, big fucking mistake we ever made.
So, uh, I'll see you at home later? Yeah, which one? That's right.
We've still got to decide that.
Um, mine.
Hey.
You came back after all.
I did.
I'll let you two catch up.