Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020) s05e05 Episode Script

1
RUTHERFORD: Ooh! I'm pooped.
Working on ocean planets
really takes it out of you.
[GRUNTING] - I love cataloging
algae as much as anyone,
but keep it to a thousand
mutations or less.
Yeah, I think I'm not gonna
come back to Piskes Nine
until at least tenth contact.
What are you talking about?
That was fun.
Hmm.
Well, you don't have a fever.
Oh, stop, stop.
Sure, it was a lot of work
that old Mariner would
have definitely hated
but, hey, that algae
glowed in the dark.
Oh!
I love bioluminescence too.
Mariner! I never took
you for a seaweed girl.
Mm, not when you
phrase it like that, I'm not.
I-I don't know, I guess I'm
just starting to enjoy missions
without trying to fight
the system or whatever.
Doing granular science is
what Starfleet's all about and,
wow, I sound like
a real Boimler right now.
Yeah. Uh, cool as hell. [CHUCKLES]
[GRUNTS] Oh! Aah!
You've really come
a long way, Mariner.
I find it inspiring.
[ALARM BLARING]
Ooh, I like red alerts, too.
Come on, danger time.
Captain, we dropped out of warp
due to a navigational malfunction.
Captain to Cetacean Ops.
Lieutenant, what's your status?
[SCREAMING]
Computer, shut down nav processing.
We are supposed to be
at a captains' conference
on Casperia Prime in 24 hours.
I'm hosting their first
annual scatting battle.
Well, we aren't gonna be anywhere
unless we get the nav repaired.
Mr. Boimler, are there any
starbases within impulse?
BOIMLER: Yes,
but you're not gonna like it.
The only station within reach is
Starbase 80.
- [CREW GASPS]
- MALE: Damn. Starbase 80?!
- That's the worst starbase in the quadrant!
- [GRUNTS]
No, no, I am not going
back to the hellhole.
I'm a positive person
now. I love algae.
There's nowhere else?
I mean, at full impulse we
could get to Deep Space Six
in 400 years.
That. Let's do that.
Mom, please. Right?
We-we can't go to Starbase 80.
Let's just, you know,
put out a distress call
and drift until we get rescued.
As much as I would love to
never set foot on that station,
we need a navigation processor.
It's our only option.
Mr. Boimler, Starbase 80,
full impulse.
No!
Are you gonna do that
the whole way there?
[MARINER CONTINUING]
♪
♪
♪
♪
Absolutely not. You
can't make me go back.
Put me in the brig.
Shoot me into space.
I don't want to be on
SB80 any more than you do.
When we crossed dimensions,
the other me ran this pile of junk.
- Now, you've been here.
- Because you banished me!
And I apologize for that.
Is it really infested with fleas?
Denobulan lice. And
they itch like [BLEEP].
This place is cursed. I've
already been here too long.
We'll be in and out
as fast as possible.
I'm sure it won't be that bad.
Hey, Captain,
Starbase 80's transporters
aren't safe for organic use.
They want us to rub
down with some kind of gel.
Ha! See?
The curse begins.
Check me out. I'm a
total T'Pol over here.
Mare-Bear, get my back.
Not if my life depended on it.
Also, why do we have to decontaminate?
They're the ones
who are cursed, not us.
Come on, you can't
really believe in curses.
I didn't used to, but I've seen it.
A regular smart person
spends too much time here
and somehow, through
mysterious forces,
thy turn into a total buffoon.
That's a little unscientific.
- Can science explain Q?
- Probably.
You gonna use all your gel?
Ooh, hey, man, I wouldn't
use too much of that stuff.
I think there's a
reason they got rid of it.
I like to lay it on thick.
Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.
Mariner, the ground isn't
gonna fall out from under you.
Last time I was here, I
fell into an open ditch.
Now, I know what you're thinking.
You're like, "How can there be
an open ditch on a starbase?"
Well, anything's possible in hell.
- Hiya, Cerritos crew!
- Aah!
[LAUGHS] Welcome to Starbase 80.
Kassia Nox, diplomatic liaison.
We're so relieved Starfleet
finally sent someone
to repair our flux spectrometer.
I'm afraid there's been
a misunderstanding.
The Cerritos was forced here
due to a navigational malfunction.
We need a new
processor, if you have one.
Oh, I see.
Well, I'm sure we have a nav
processor or two in storage,
as long as you
don't mind an older model.
[ALL EXCLAIM]
Well, the Cerritos isn't
exactly cutting edge either.
So, older it-it should be fine.
I'm sure my chief
engineer can help you.
He's down on level 15.
Mariner, why don't you
go see if you can help
with any station repairs
while we go and get the processor.
Ooh, alternate idea.
I would love to go
back to the Cerritos
and not help with anything.
That's an order.
Looks like you're with me.
Mom, come on. Please, please, look,
give me-give me holodeck
waste removal duty.
Anything that takes me
back to the Cerritos. Please.
Ah, man, these systems
are all old and weird.
I was dreaming about
working on something new.
Have you dreamed of being cursed?
So, what crime did you commit
to get you banished to Curse Town?
None.
I volunteered.
That's weird.
You sure that's how it went down?
SB80 might not be the most
glamorous starbase in the Federation,
but it grows on you.
Like a fungus.
Welcome to Engineering.
Watch your step.
Uh
[ALL EXCLAIM]
RUTHERFORD: Whoa,
we're on the ceiling.
Oh, yeah, well, we're
having a little trouble
with the gravity plating. [CHUCKLES]
Oh!
The fusion reactor is so cute.
Oh, my gosh.
And do you use wall comms?
- [BOATSWAIN'S WHISTLE BLOWS]
- The base hasn't experienced
many upgrades since the 2260s.
That's why it's so retro cool!
See, Mariner? No curse here.
Just a minimalist reactor room
with a
Corn dog vendor?
- KASSIA: That's Chad.
- Oh.
You have to try his corn dogs.
They're incredible.
Mmm, mmm, mmm!
They have food
vendors all over the base,
instead of replicators.
We've actually found that
the absence of replicators
has livened the
station's culinary scene.
Looks like the gravity
stabilizer's working,
just, you know, in
the wrong direction.
Rutherford to Commander Billups.
[LOW MOANING]
SB80's got some problems
with their grav plating.
Can you help out?
Aah! Static.
Yep, this place is charged up.
Don't walk around in your socks.
What was up with that
incoherent moaning?
Guess the breakfast
burrito didn't sit well.
Looks like I'm on my own.
Well, we still have the
old schematics in storage
- that came with the station.
- Awesome!
Wait, I thought Billups
only ate hot cereals.
Well, he's been working on
his pickiness. I'm proud of him.
Proud or concerned for out
of character curse behavior?
It was a burrito, and
Billups isn't even on SB80.
He's back on the Cerritos.
That's true. All right.
Maybe we're okay.
♪
[GROWLING]
[THUD]
[SNIFFS]
Oof! My, this place
does have a signature stink.
Mmm!
All I smell is gel.
- [SHOUTING IN DISTANCE]
- Do you hear that?
[ALARM BLARING]
[GASPS]
Is that man dead?
- Aah!
- [GASPS]
Oh.
Howdy.
Y'all must be
from the 'Ritos, aren't you?
Sorry, dozed off there.
With all these alarms going off?
Oh, hell, I don't have the tools
to reroute their microcircuits.
Don't worry, you'll get used to it.
[SIGHS]
[LAUGHS] Hot damn!
Y'all got them really
good modern tricorders.
Happy to help. We're
looking for the chief engineer.
He has a navigation processor for us.
Oh, hell, that's Jakobowski.
Great guy.
Hell of a throwing arm.
Uh-huh.
And where is he?
Probably in the arcade.
We don't have any fancy holodecks,
so, Chief spends a lot of time there.
Yeah, it's up on, uh, 33.
He'll get you that
nav thingy you want.
[GROANS] Wha We
just came down from 33.
Y'all have fun.
- [SNORES]
- All right, Captain,
let's follow this napkin.
Oh, dang gel.
I got it, I got it.
Oh, please.
♪
[LOW GROWLING]
Wow, that's a lot of
growling and glaring.
FUN FACT: SB80 actually has
the largest population of Acamarians
outside Acamar III due to
an old negotiation hiccup
that surrendered half the
starbase to their authority.
Yeah, this place is
basically controlled
- by a knife gang.
- [WHIMPERS]
We've sort of been hoping
Starfleet might
renegotiate the treaty.
But I guess it's low on
the diplomatic to-do list.
[GASPS] Ruthie!
No, that's cursed sauce.
- Don't touch that.
- Wha?
I eat those every day.
They're great.
Uncovered and unrefrigerated?
Ugh, that's a pass.
Oh! These are cozy.
How did you make
them without replicators?
They're the uniforms of long-dead men.
Vintage.
KASSIA: The grav-plate manual
should be in here somewhere.
It's a mess!
Oh, my God, we're
never getting out of here.
Okay, don't worry.
We'll divide and conquer.
Rutherford, how about
you take that pile on the left?
[GROANING]
Everything okay, buddy?
- Yeah.
- BOIMLER: Whoa!
What are you doing?
Stop that.
Rutherford's cursed!
He's got the 80!
There's got to be a rational,
scientific explanation
[SNARLING]
[ROARS]
- [GASPS]
- Ew.
Okay, maybe there's a curse.
[CHUCKLES] Oh!
A twist-handle control.
Did you use these as an ensign?
- I am not that old.
- Oh.
Well, I think we turn it
to use voice command.
[BOTH EXCLAIM]
Computer, Arcade.
COMPUTER: Maintenance labyrinth.
I said Arcade.
[EXCLAIMING]
COMPUTER: Maintenance
labyrinth confirmed.
This is definitely not the Arcade.
COMPUTER: Arcade.
Get back here!
Damn it.
Should I call the Cerritos for help?
No. This place got the better
of my alternate universe self.
It won't do the same to me.
You're still worried about that?
Yes!
[GROWLING]
[SHOUTS]
Look at 'em,
all vacant, weird.
They've all got Starbase 80 curse.
- Uh, Dr. T'Ana?
- [GROWLING, MEOWING NEARBY]
- Ow.
- MARINER: [GASPS] It got Dr. T.
KASSIA: Huh, that's weird.
While your crew's affected,
none of us locals are.
Yeah, 'cause you're already cursed.
Come on, our doctor will
get to the bottom of this.
What if he's cursed, too?
Well, you sort of don't have a choice.
[GROANS]
Hello?
Lt. Jakobowski?
[GROWLING]
- [ROARING]
- [GASPS]
[MUFFLED ROAR]
FREEMAN: Gene?
Why is your head in that tube?
GENE: I'm just trying to fix
an oxygen leak and I got stuck.
Hold on, I've got some gel
that should help with that.
- [GRUNTING]
- [SCREECHING]
[LAUGHS]
Way too many bats around here.
Gene, we need to find your engineer.
I feel like we've been just wondering
around the station fixing things.
Well, since you mentioned it
- What now?
- I don't have the know-how
to get this oxygen leak sealed.
- Could you
- Yes.
[GRUNTS]
There.
Done.
Now, will you please
point us to Lt. Jakobowski?
Oh, happily.
Let's get you to that arcade.
[LAUGHS] Stairs! Boom!
Don't see these in space very often.
The perfect workout.
Yeah, 30 stories and
you'll hit the arcade.
Can't miss it.
I'm not letting this place win.
You're welcome.
Ha, ha, my glutes.
You feel that, Cap?
The power of stairs!
[GROWLING]
Ugh, Tendi, Rutherford
keeps trying to lick the walls.
Can you help, please?
- [GROWLING]
- MARINER: [GASPS] No!
Tendi's cursed, too.
Ensigns Mackler and Gorm,
I need your help at my location now.
[MACKLER GROWLING]
Oh, you were right, this
curse is getting to everyone.
Hurry, follow me!
[SHRIEKS] Who the hell are you?
Station doctor Harrison Horseberry.
We must get these officers to Sickbay.
Posthaste.
Pip-pip, on your way.
[GROWLING]
Um
Wh-What is happening with your doctor?
Oh, yeah, he gets that a lot.
[WHISPERS]: He's British.
Does he have one of
those Tarchannen parasites
that mess with your DNA?
I used to have one.
I got it from sharing a toothbrush
with one of my colleges.
How did you know? I was
told it was hardly noticeable.
Yeah, it was
It was little noticeable.
HORSEBERRY: [GASPS] Oh, my word.
This can't be right.
- W-What's wrong?
- Nothing.
No pathogens or biochemical phenomena
and, no Tarchannen parasites,
which I always
check for, just for fun.
Oh, my God.
You're right.
It is a curse!
All right, [BLEEP] this.
I'm calling for evac.
Stop!
Give me that combadge.
- You'll get it, too!
- Hey!
[GASPS] I knew you
were up to something.
[GRUNTING]
[GRUNTING]
Holy [BLEEP].
How are you so good at fighting?
I'm El-Aurian.
I think I know how to fight.
Wait, like Guinan?
What, so you're, like, 400 years old?
No, I'm in my 30s.
But I pay attention.
A young El-Aurian is
just a regular person!
I'm trying to protect you.
Sure doesn't feel like it.
Have you noticed your
crew only starts acting weird
after using their combadges?
- So?
- So, what if that's why
your crew's affected and ours isn't?
Everyone here's
acting weird as [BLEEP].
They're goofy and
excentric, but not licking walls.
- [GRUNTS]
- We don't have combadges.
We use old wall comms.
That has to be it.
Boimler just contacted his ensigns.
[GRUNTS] And he's fine.
- [GROWLING]
- Oh, [BLEEP],
Oh, my God, you were right.
It's the combadges.
But that means the
curse is from the Cerritos?
Sorry, Boims. [GRUNTS]
[PANTING]
[WHOOPS]
[GRUNTING]
[GROANS]
RANSOM: Wow, that's
a lot of Acamarians.
Careful, Cap, these
guys can get pretty rough.
You lost, Starfleet?
We don't get a lot of
your kind around here.
Unless they're going to
The arcade.
We are going to the arcade.
Oh, awesome.
It's right over there.
Here's some extra tokens.
On the house.
[GRUNTING]
- BOTH: Gene?
- Oh!
Howdy, friends.
That is it.
I don't know what
you've been up to, buddy,
but it ends now.
No more runarounds.
Where's Lt. Jakobowski?
Aw, calm down, lady.
- That is Jakobowski.
- What?
Chief Engineer Gene Jakobowski,
at your service.
You better have a damn
good explanation, Gene.
I know, apologies,
apologies for the subterfuge.
I've been asking
Starfleet to send someone
to help with repairs for months, see?
I couldn't miss a
chance to get help fixing
the alarms and oxygen pipe.
Starfleet lying to Starfleet?
That is messed-up, Gene.
Well, if you help
me clear out the bats
in subsection five,
I'll give you your
navigation processor.
No way are we helping you with that.
You go get it right now.
- Captain?
- No, I-I get it.
The Cerritos isn't the flashiest ship,
so, it's easy for command to ignore.
You know what, I haven't
been exactly fair to you today.
Let's get those bats.
[SCREAMING, CLAMORING]
[BOTH EXCLAIM]
[GASPS]
[EXCLAIMING]
Oh, I can't believe I messed this up.
You didn't do anything.
Getting kicked off my ship
and being transferred here
that was my rock bottom.
Being back made me feel
like I was still that person.
If I'd been on my game,
I would have seen what was happening.
Hey, this isn't rock
bottom for anyone.
Starbase 80's for second chances.
That's why I love it.
[GASPS] What the
What is that?
[SHOUTS]
I mean, when you put it like that,
I'm kind of into Starbase 80.
We're not perfect,
but that's why it works.
Damn.
Okay, so it's not a curse.
Something is piggybacking
on our combadge signals.
We have to find the source.
[GASPS] There's a
biological energy signature.
Then your comm logs
can tell us how this started.
Yeah, they're back on the ship,
which will be full of cursed crew.
How are we gonna get through that?
With the help of two
of my biggest weirdos.
♪
We need to get to the bridge.
Let's use caution
- COMPUTER: Self-destruct sequence activated.
- What?!
Self-destruct sequence aborted.
- Oh, thank God.
- Self-destruct sequence activated.
What the hell is
happening on this ship?
Forget caution!
New Plan: reckless abandon!
Self-self-self-self-
self-self-destruct
Self-destruct-
self-destruct sequence
[HISSES]
Pardon me!
[MOANING]
Livik.
[GRUNTS]
- Nice.
- Happens all the time on our base.
Whoa!
My stars!
There's no way through.
We have to go back.
Looks like this is a job for Chad.
Corn dogs, ho!
Chad, no!
Keep going.
Chad'll be okay.
[MOANS, GRUNTING]
Chad!
Self-destruct-self-destruct se
Self-destruct sequence
Self-destruct sequence ac
Self-destruct sequence aborted.
[EXHALES]
KASSIA: I isolated
the source of the combadge signal.
- Where is this?
- What?
No way.
You have whales?!
They do stellar navigation,
and they also throw
really crazy parties.
Shh!
Get down!
What's he doing?
I don't know. That's new.
Okay, good news.
Pretty sure it's not
Tarchannen parasites.
Has he been off the ship lately?
He was on an away
mission on Piskes Nine.
HORSEBERRY: I'm reading an anaphasic
conscious controlling his body.
It appears to have spread
throughout the entire Cerritos crew,
but its central mind is here.
So, everyone is licking
and touching the walls
because they're like his fingertips,
- reaching out in the dark.
- Finger and tongue tips, yeah.
- Can you reverse the effects, Doctor?
- Perhaps.
If I could just get close enough.
Not an option.
We can't lose anyone else.
[GROANS] I spent all day
thinking you guys were idiots.
Now it's my turn to be
the biggest idiot of all.
Come and get me,
you crazy energy ghost!
[SHOUTS, WHIMPERS]
[SHOUTS, GRUNTS]
Hurry, I feel myself getting moronic.
- [MOANS]
- Mariner!
[GASPS] What are you doing?
Giving you a second chance.
[BOTH GRUNT]
[SHOUTS]
[BOTH MOANING]
[WHIMPERING]
Stop!
Doctor's orders!
[WHIMPERS]
I've studied the most advanced
medicines in the quadrant,
but some problems
need an old-fashioned
bonking!
[RETCHES]
[GRUNTING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
What?
Where am I?
Oh, Doc, how'd you do it?
[CLEARS THROAT] Um, uh,
complicated doctor stuff.
Oh, boy.
[GASPS]
[ALL GASP]
[MOANS] Wha
What happened?
Eh
Chad lives to dog another day.
KASSIA: Base commander's
log, supplemental.
With the anaphasic entity contained,
Dr. Horseberry was able to set up
a stable vessel for it to inhabit.
CLEM: My designation is Clem.
I am sorry for the
trouble I've caused.
Thank you for not destroying me.
No problem, Clem.
Welcome to Starbase 80.
I can't believe you're
letting it stay here.
We'll be fine,
as long as Clem doesn't
try to inhabit anyone.
CLEM: I will not.
Why did you possess
anyone in the first place?
CLEM: To prove to my superiors,
that I'm capable of communicating
with corporeal species.
Hold up, so you're, like,
a junior anaphasic alien?
CLEM: Correct,
but the amount
of mind merges overwhelmed me.
I took over too many hosts.
Spread myself too thin.
But now we're communicating,
so it's a win for everyone.
CLEM: I hope my bosses see it that way.
They can be real dicks.
Well, Mariner, I guess
that solves the curse,
and, your navigational problems.
It's been a pleasure
having you on Starbase 80.
Oh, we aren't done yet.
[CHUCKLES] We aren't?
[GRUNTS]
Okey-dokey, that should do it.
Everyone hold on to something.
[RUMBLING, WHIRRING]
Oh, thank you for
fixing the grav-plating.
It's gonna feel real good not
to fall to the ceiling in here.
Yeah, maybe fixing up
all your little problems
will help make up for
me being such a jerk.
You were just watching
out for your friends.
And, hopefully,
now you see we're just a bunch of
scrappy underdogs.
Arf, arf! [CHUCKLES]
Now, that I can understand.
[GASPS] Wait,
has anyone seen the captain?
Uh, someone told her we don't need
the repair materials anymore, right?
[SHOUTS, GRUNTS]
You don't have anything
more to prove, Captain.
- Let's get out of here.
- No!
The alternate Freeman
must have failed at this,
and I won't!
There's still the big one.
[GROWLING]
But it won't even fit in the cage!
Yeah, not with that
attitude, it won't.
How about I just forge the signature?
[SHOUTING]
No giant [BLEEP] bat
is keeping me on this goddamn station!
- [BAT SCREECHES]
- [FREEMAN GRUNTS]
RANSOM: Look out
for the claws, Captain!
- [FREEMAN SCREAMS]
- RANSOM: The claws!