The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s05e05 Episode Script

1
[Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters" playing]
Ghostbusters! ♪
[Slimer screaming]
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
[alarm ringing]
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
[exclaiming]
Who you gonna call? ♪
[cat yowling]
Ghostbusters! ♪
- [growling]
- [screaming]
[Slimer] Luigi, jump!
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
[screaming]
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
[Slimer] Ghostbusters.
[Slimer] Yeah!
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
And me! And me!
[Janine] Thanks for the help, Louis.
I just need to pick up a few more things.
Uh, no problemo, Janine.
[panting] Yeah, no problemo. Phew.
Hey, candy!
Wowiee!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
[gasps] Look, Louis,
there's a big sale on the third floor.
What luck!
[groans]
[Janine] Come on, Louis!
Hey!
[elevator dings]
Wait for me!
[shrieks]
Phew!
Three, please. Huh?
[whooshes]
[both screaming]
[both gasping]
[Janine and Louis screaming]
Hey, turn this thing around
or I'm going to the manager.
Sorry, madam.
I must have lost my head for a moment.
[both screaming]
[stammers] Forget I said anything, OK?
[shrieks]
[explodes]
[shrieks]
Janine! Open up!
[rumbles]
- [screams]
- [roars]
[snarls]
I'm coming, Janine!
[brakes screech]
Huh? [screams]
You ain't nothing but a birthday girl ♪
Cryin' happy birthday all the time ♪
Peter, why can't we just
sing it like normal people?
Because I do a terrific Elvis,
little baby momma.
As an actor, I have natural talent.
[scoffs] As a singer,
you could fricassee frogs at 30 yards.
Help!
Argh!
Speaking of frogs, yuck!
Elevator ate Louis and Janine!
What?
Spud, you wanna slow
that down to 33 and a third?
[makes indistinct noises]
[snarling]
Janine and Louis gone!
This sounds serious.
Very serious. Janine actually left a mall
in the middle of a clearance sale.
[computer static]
Hey, lose something?
Or should I say someone?
[laughs maniacally]
If you wanna see 'em again, alive,
you'll do exactly what I tell youse.
Youse got till midnight to turn over
- the whole Ghostbusters operation to me
- [all gasp]
Boss Poso, understand?
Midnight.
A ghost who wants to bust ghosts? Why?
- Well, first, let's find out who. Got him.
- [computer beeping]
Ugh. You can have him.
Yeah, ugly!
Poso, a Class-7 organizer, not much here.
He works with a sidekick,
a Class-5 named Shifter.
[Ray] Hey, I recognize that little squid.
He's in the Containment Unit.
We bagged him two weeks ago.
Great, maybe he can help us
nab this Poso character.
But, we'll have to bring him out to do it.
Just look at it this way, Spud,
Janine and Louis are depending on you.
Oh!
This camera trap
will follow you in, Slimer.
[shrieks]
And we'll be able
to monitor you from here.
[Winston] Ready, big guy?
Yeah, ready.
[Slimer screams]
Yoo-hoo-hoo!
[roars]
[screams]
[roars]
[Ghosts screeching and snarling]
Yikes!
Hey, Slimer.
Hi, big guy!
That's the big guy.
- Bye, Slimer.
- Bye!
[shrieks]
[laughs maniacally]
[growling]
[snickering]
- That's him, that's Shifter.
- Nice work, Slimer.
[beeps]
- [Egon] We have a lock on target.
- [Winston] Got it!
[buzzes]
Whoo!
[ghosts screaming]
[Slimer screams]
[groans]
Hi, you're probably wondering
why we called you here.
Not really.
See, Ray, I told you.
Ghosts are a pain in the
[shrieks]
[Shifter grunts]
That's it, hold him steady.
Hey, hands off. This is ghostnapping.
I wanna see my lawyer.
What do you guys want from me, anyway?
Go ahead, Egon,
I can't bring myself to ask.
We need yourhelp.
Wait, wait. Wait, wait.
I didn't hear this.
You're putting me on, right? [laughs]
No joke, jelly-jaws. Tell us about Poso.
Poso?
Yeah, Shifter, why does he want
to take over our business?
Where you guys been hanging out, man?
On the moon?
Poso wants to be the Ghostfather.
[all] Ghostfather?
Yeah, man, the big boss.
With your ghostbusting gear,
he can control every ghost on the coast.
They'd have to do whatever he said.
Or he'd zap 'em.
Well, it will never happen,
'cause we are gonna shut him down.
Whoa, bro! What's this "we"?
[buzzes]
Simple. You help us find Poso,
and rescue our friends
and we'll set you free. Permanently.
Well, what are we waiting for?
Poso hangs out right here. Ghost town.
In Jersey?
Moved there last year.
Probably where he's got your friends.
Then let's go.
Yeah, let's go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I might be able to sneak one of you in.
But only one.
[bubbling]
That is the last time I, argh,
ever draw straws for a job.
Missed a spot, Winston.
Well, what is this stuff?
I collected it last year,
after we battled Vigo the Carpathian.
It's psycho-reactive slime.
It responds to your thoughts and emotions.
[Egon] It should give you
limited ghostly powers
and help you pass as the real thing.
You can even fly. I'm still not
completely sure how it works.
Man, are we in trouble?
Pick up the pace, Lightfoot.
We're gonna miss the last ferry to Jersey.
Get out of my face, Shifter.
It's not easy being
a slime ball ghost like you.
A little tip. Use your slime.
Fly. If you think you can handle it, cuz.
Anything you can do, I can do.
And don't call me cuz.
Hey, I'm flying!
HooRay.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[yelps]
Nice move, Peter Pan.
Why don't you stick around?
I gotta run.
Don't wait up for me, sucker!
[straining]
[buzzes]
Yow!
Read my lips, Shiftless.
The only way you're gonna get free
is after we find Louis and Janine.
[grunts] Now give me a little help here.
OK, OK, OK.
Ahh!
Well, there they go.
Let's keep our fingers crossed.
I hate to think that everything
depends on that yoyo.
[Ray] Which one?
Psst. What are they staring at?
You.
[female ghoul] Hiya, cutie.
Things are pretty dead around here.
You wanna go out?
Sorry, I, uh
Tuesday nights, I wash my slime.
Aw, don't be bashful, doll.
Hey! I don't even know you.
Ahh!
Fresh!
[screams]
[grunts]
[ship horn blowing]
I tell you, cuz.
Working with you
is really bad for my image.
You don't have an image.
And I'm not your cuz.
[Shifter] Ooh, touchy, touchy.
- [crickets chirp]
- [frog croaking]
[Peter] So, smart guy.
Where is this so-called Ghost town?
Or are you just pulling my slime?
That dump's Ghost town?
No, it's Tahiti.
But this is the off-season.
What a flesh-head.
[mocking] What a flesh-head.
What a flesh-head.
[indistinct chatter]
You really think I'll be able
to pass as a ghost?
[male ghost] Hey!
Uh, who are you?
I'm, uh, with him.
Why that little
So, what do we do with this creep?
Let's take him to Poso.
Yeah, the boss will know
what to do with him.
[grunts]
Ow!
Let's tell Poso we've caught a live one.
[crackles] Live for now.
[both laugh maniacally]
Let me out ofHere? Ectoslime.
Uh, looks like I've just been pardoned.
[grunts]
Oh, man!
This slime, uh,
was a big, uh, mistake, uh!
You're never gonna get away with this,
youYou slimy slug!
I hate kidders. So don't push me, huh?
[Ray] Any sign of Peter?
- [Winston] Negative.
- [Slimer] Negative.
But here comes a welcoming community.
Oh, neato!
[Winston] A ghost.
[screams]
[Ray] Hang on!
[Slimer cries]
Get off! Shoo, go away!
Hang on, we're going down!
[all screaming]
[water splashes]
[pants] Everybody OK?
Fine.
[Ray] Oh, boy, time's running out
for Janine and Louis
and we get stuck.
How about it, Winston, can you fix it?
I think so.
But you'd better tell Egon
we're gonna be off-schedule.
Egon, we have a problem.
You aren't the only one, Ray.
Some of Poso's goons are here.
[cackling]
They expect us to surrender,
but I've refused.
The Containment.
We want to see how it works. Now!
[Egon]
That is the Ecto-Containment system.
This thing?
[all cackling]
That thing, yes.
And this is the control panel.
- Oh, big deal.
- I'm very impressed.
[all laughing]
And this lever opens the trap.
[all] Huh?
[ghosts screaming]
And that concludes our tour.
[grunts]
I have the same trouble
down at the health club.
Swell!
So, how do you like Poso's pokey?
Oh, I don't know.
I'm sort of getting attached to it.
Argh, where'd you go?
I could have used a little help here.
Relax, I was checking out the layout, man.
Besides, I came back, didn't I?
Then get me out!
Or you're gonna be stuck in here with me.
OK, OK.
[ghoul laughing]
Listen up, spook breath.
Duck out on me again
and you're back to the phantom farm.
For good!
Man, you've got a real attitude problem.
Where'd you get that?
You left it in jail.
Here, I don't want to play anymore.
Ooh, that's just great.
OK, take off, smart guy, I can't stop you.
I'll just handle this myself.
Like I should have, from the start.
I didn't say anything about splitting.
I've got my own reasons
to see Poso go down.
Such as?
He's the creep who got me
busted in the first place.
So, deal me in.
OK.
- Hey, you two!
- Let's bolt!
[Peter] Swell.
Concentrate, Pete, use the juice.
Fly. Fly. Fly!
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong!
Hey!
Shifter, catch!
Hey, the boss wants a word with you.
Beam me up, Shifty!
Whoa!
Not bad, man,
you may make it as a ghost, yet.
Thanks, but no thanks.
It's almost midnight.
We don't have much time. Here's the plan.
[liquid squishing]
- [alarm beeps]
- Uh-oh, that's Peter's two-minute warning.
He's moving in on Poso!
We have one minute 58 seconds
to be over target.
[revs engine]
We'll make it.
You know what to do?
Hey, have I ever let you down?
[Janine] What's wrong, Poso?
Your little plan to take over
our headquarters starting to fall apart?
Yeah, the Ghostbusters
are gonna nail you, Poso.
Not yet!
[roars]
[Louis and Janine] Peter!
Huh?
Rub-a-dub-dub, you big slimy tub.
I've got an offer you can't refuse.
You ain't seen the half of it, flesh-face.
[growls]
Pete, duck!
[clinks]
What is this?
Well, I saw it on sale,
and I just knew it was you.
Huh?
Shifter, go, go!
There's Shifter!
[snarls]
[grunting]
Think cool, think cool.
[all straining]
Come on, Shifter, hit the button.
[screams]
Stand by!
Trap open!
[buzzes]
Go for it, Shifter!
[growling]
Welcome home, Poso!
[all] Whoa!
Shifter, I'll get you for this!
[all] Whoa!
[shouts]
[Winston] Yippee!
We got him! Way to go, Shifter.
Yeah, way to go, Shifter!
Thank you.
[ghosts screeching]
Looks like all the goobers
are blowing town.
With Poso bagged,
there's nothing to hold them here anymore.
They'll scatter back to their old haunts
and settle down.
Well, it's all over and a deal's a deal.
So, you're free to go, pal.
We made a pretty good team, huh, Pete?
Yeah, [laughs] yeah, we did.
But take my advice,
stick to being human, huh?
[chuckles] You got that right.
[Ecto-1 approaches]
Congratulations, Peter, job well done.
Here, you're a mess.
Gosh, I wonder why?
Egon? Egon! It won't come off!
Hmm.
Being psycho-reactive the slime
has apparently grown quite fond of you.
What? Egon! Yuck!
That's it! That is the last straw.
I never wanted to wear
this stuff in the first place.
I told you, but, oh, no,
you wouldn't listen to me.
'Cause you're just Mr. Know-it-all, huh?
Easy, Peter.
Remember, the slime mirrors your emotions.
Don't easy me, Egon,
I'm fed up, furious, fried! Yuck!
Egon, get me out of this!
Won't the slime calm down?
Unfortunately, not until Peter does.
I'll get you for this, Egon!
[screams]
Egon!
[closing theme song playing]
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪