Utopia (2013) s05e05 Episode Script

Australia's best days are ahead of us.
We live in the best
country in the world.
- No asterisks, no footnotes.
- From road to rail
- We are in the age of infrastructure.
- The dawn of a new era.
- The great Australian dream.
- To build a better future.
We're spending more than any
government has ever spent.
- Money splashed around.
- Splashed more cash.
- The cash splash.
- It's big money in anyone's language.
- This is a nation-building
- Funds from the nation-building
- nation-building
- nation-building
Nation-building.
VOICEOVER: Consisting
of 14 sound stages,
offices, construction space, parking,
set storage and other amenities,
this $2 billion studio complex
is set to be a game changer
for both overseas and
homegrown productions.
So get set to roll on
Hollywood Down Under.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- Well?
- Wow! It's, uh
- BRAD: It's amazing, isn't it?
I mean, they've still got to
add more people, palm trees.
There's a whole lagoon complex
out the back. It'll be huge.
Yeah, 5,000 hectares.
Yeah, I've got a lot of people
to thank. It was a team effort.
- Hollywood Down Under.
- That was mine.
We're getting very positive feedback.
And it's everything that matters to
me jobs, regional development.
- The arts.
- Sure.
I must say, it's a little
more advanced than I realised.
These streaming giants,
they're super-keen.
- Are you already in meetings?
- Just the usual back-and-forths.
'Cause we're still working with
Treasury and Finance on the old
- Hey. Tony, it's early days.
- Yeah, not that early.
- BRAD: I told you about the launch?
- No? The launch?
BRAD: Well, down the track,
but we're thinking about
flying in some pretty
big names, like, um
Who's the one with the hammer?
- Scott Cam?
- No.
- The Hemsworth.
- I'll check.
Anyway, obviously, early days, but
I wonder if you mind if I cast
an eye over these latest figures.
- BRAD: Absolutely.
- Yeah.
Absolutely. And if you want to
go bigger, we can talk about that.
'Cause this is the sort
of thing that really
No, no, in terms of the due
diligence we normally do in the
- BRAD: Oh, yeah, of course.
- Yeah.
Any tweaks you want to
make, let's hear 'em.
- Yep.
- MAN: It WAS Chris Hemsworth.
Oh, I knew it! (LAUGHS)
- BRAD: It's a funny movie.
- Chris.
BRAD: Anyway. Exciting times.
- How's it going?
- Good. You?
A lot on. Now, why
did I write 'romesco'?
- That's a sauce.
- JIM: Is it?
Not 'UNESCO'?
Oh, that's it. Bloody spell correct.
They've sent us some sort of
report. Have you got a copy there?
NAT: Oh. Um
"An Interim Declaration
on the Great Barrier Reef".
- You read it?
- Didn't have to. PM threw a copy at me.
- So it's not great?
- Can you have a look?
- It's not really our area, Jim.
- What if we bring in Rhonda?
- It's not really her area either.
- JIM: Ash?
- Not mine.
- Between the three of you.
I've just got a meeting
I have to knock off.
Uh, who's August?
- Is it a meeting IN August?
- JIM: No.
I've added a thumbs-down emoji.
- AUKUS.
- JIM: Oh!
That's it. This new spell correct.
Never update your phone.
I don't know who you're talking about.
- Linda. Diversity and inclusion.
- Oh, Linda.
- Why does she want to see me?
- There's been an issue.
- I thought you said a concern.
- Could be both.
- Who's it about?
- Them.
- What's the issue?
- It's actually a complaint.
- Can you set up a meeting?
- I'll set up a meeting.
- And what are they doing?
- It's for our TikTok account.
And why are we starting
a TikTok account?
We're hoping it might attract
people to come and work here.
I thought that's what we got
the table tennis table for.
- Yeah.
- You wanted a word?
- Oh, yeah. This film studio thing.
- Hollywood Down Under?
Is it true that Ryan
Reynolds might be coming out?
- Katie.
- JIM: Well done, mate.
You're in his good books.
We recommended location incentives,
not a huge studio complex.
- But you didn't rule it out.
- Didn't have a chance.
I don't know where this
latest version came from.
It needs a ton of work.
- You said tweaks.
- HE said tweaks.
He's been chucking in
all these sweeteners
tax breaks, producer offsets,
access to public lands.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's
not get lost in the weeds.
- Isn't that our job?
- I reckon we stick to tweaks.
What happens when the Aussie
dollar goes through the roof?
These overseas studios just walk away.
Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
Who said anything about good?
The only failure is in not trying.
- Did you just get a desk calendar?
- It came with the update.
You get a quote a day.
- "A journey of 1,000 miles starts"
- I need to speak to him.
Katie! Can you see if the
Minister's free for a meeting?
- Tell him it's about the film studios.
- Oh. Sure.
Just try not to rain on his
parade. He needs a big announcement.
The last big announcement cost
us a half a billion dollars.
The bloody pandemic ended!
It was just bad luck.
- We've got to get this thing right.
- It's early days.
He's talking about a launch.
The Minister can do
first thing tomorrow.
Ooh, that was quick.
- Whoo-hoo!
- What are you doing?
Generating content. You
want to give us a fist pump?
- No.
- We'll cut it there.
"Unless the Australian
government takes immediate action,
the World Heritage
Committee will have no choice
but to declare the Great
Barrier Reef as 'in danger'."
Who do these people think they are,
sticking their nose in
other countries' business?
I think that's how the UN works.
Sitting in their ivory
tower in New York.
UNESCO's in Paris.
So how does this reef
grading thing work?
Well, right now, it's
ranked as 'vulnerable',
and the next level is "in danger".
- And then?
- I suspect Greta Thunberg shows up.
- (LAUGHS)
- Alright.
We need something to
get them off our backs.
- Okay. What have we done in the past?
- It's never-ending.
Thrown money around,
lobbied, called in favours,
threatened some of the weaker delegates.
- You're not writing this down.
- I am.
I meant, what have we done in
terms of protecting the reef?
Who knows? But whatever it
was, apparently, not enough.
Great. And put the milk down.
Make sure we can see the cup.
Looking good.
And action.
Ah! I needed that.
Cut! Let me just check that back.
- Is this for our TikTok?
- Mm-hm.
- #adayinthelife. People love it.
- Courtney making a cup of tea?
Yeah. Once we speed it up
and add some music. Mmm.
It'll still be Courtney
making a cup of tea.
Actually, can I grab
some stuff with you later?
- Bit busy today.
- Where are you going?
I'm gonna follow along.
Keep walking. Where
are we going, Courtney?
The toilet. We'll cut it there.
TONY: Sorry, Linda. Let
me get this straight.
- There's a problem with that photo?
- More a concern.
- Or issue.
- Exactly.
Brian's assisting me with this audit.
An audit? Yeah. Um, so has
there been an actual complaint?
- Not as yet.
- So
But the potential's there.
It's important we stay
ahead of the curve.
Then what is the potential issue?
- Or concern.
- Not obvious?
Uh, group of people with a common goal.
- LINDA: And all men.
- Men's rowing eight.
- LINDA: Is that the right message?
- 'Teamwork'?
A group of white entitled
upper-middle-class males.
- None taken.
- Tony, you're the CEO.
What's on your wall
reflects the tone and ethos
of our entire organisation.
- Alright. What do you want done?
- There's several options.
You could relocate the
offending artwork
It hasn't offended yet, but
to a private space,
such as your home.
Oh. I could put them with
my old Big M calendars.
- (LAUGHS)
- Go on.
You could retain the work in situ
- but with an explanatory plaque.
- A plaque?
Noting its patriarchal and
exclusionary underpinnings.
Or?
Brian could help you replace
it with something more suitable.
- Done.
- In situations such as this
Totally agree, Linda. It'll
be gone by this afternoon.
Thanks for dropping by.
I think it's important
we have the conversation.
It felt like a lecture,
but we've had it.
'Beer-battered'. What in
God's name could that be?
Could it have been "Big Battery"?
- Oh! You're good at this.
- NAT: Shall we keep going?
Now it's writing "Bill bartending".
Uh, sorry. Keep going.
So, restoration projects. Water
quality monitoring upgrades.
Increased funding for
the Marine Park Authority.
- A new eco-research institute.
- These are fantastic!
- First-rate.
- Let's do 'em all!
Nope. These are proposals we
submitted to UNESCO last time.
So, what are they complaining about?
- The reef hasn't improved.
- Oh! Talk about ingratitude.
Where's the "Merci beaucoup"?
Is there any chance we could do
a redraft and resubmit that thing?
I think they'd notice.
- RHONDA: I didn't.
- JIM: Me neither.
What about an updated version
- No.
- with a foreword from Bindi Irwin?
- We should invite her to the launch.
- NAT: What launch?
Seriously, I don't know
what more we can do.
- Fix the reef?
- Oh!
- It's never-ending with these people.
- Maybe we need fresh ideas.
Should we loop the Environment
Minister in on this?
- No, I wouldn't have thought so.
- No, not really their strength.
- No. Could we discredit this mob?
- What?
- Punch back.
- At UNESCO?
Well, we're yet to hear a
decent suggestion from you.
I was thinking we should
maybe have a chat with them.
- Take 'em on, get in their faces.
- No. Find out what they want.
- Sure. Then give it to 'em.
- (PHONE CHIMES)
Oop! What's "Qantas 930"?
"Watch Q+A at 9:30."
Oh! I bet you're good at Wordle.
WOMAN: Hollywood stars have been
making their way Down Under
WOMAN 2: for a new slice
of the Aussiewood pie.
WOMAN 3: With confirmation of
plans to build a movie studio
MAN: The vision that has been put
forward is one that is exciting.
- WOMAN: It helps generate jobs.
- WOMAN 2: Protects Australian talent.
MAN: It's putting us on
the world cultural map.
WOMAN: could soon be
rolling out the red carpet
for some big-budget blockbusters.
The Prime Minister just retweeted it.
- It's a team effort.
- #Aussiewood.
- That was mine.
- We'll give it a bump on OUR socials.
You'll be on that red carpet too, Tony.
- When you say red carpet
- BRAD: The launch.
- I thought it was still early days.
- BRAD: It is.
- But the submission's going to Cabinet?
- Oh, that's not till
- Friday.
- Days away.
I was wondering, before that
happens, whether we could go over
a few specific details.
- So you've had a look? Excellent.
- I have, Minister.
It's this sort of initiative and
the NBA, that is the sort of
'CoPro' we're chasing.
(BOTH LAUGH)
It's just that there
there were a few issues.
- Issues?
- TONY: Not issues. Um
- Concerns?
- Questions.
About our exposure to potential risk.
And careful how you google 'Aussiewood'.
The the response we've been getting
has been overwhelmingly positive.
Very positive, but, as
we've pointed out before,
you are gifting a vast
area of public land.
- Leasing.
- 99 years.
- Still leasing.
- And offering subsidies.
- Rebates.
- Along with significant tax breaks.
- Offsets.
- And all those sweeteners.
- Incentives.
- Okay!
So the point is
- you want to make some tweaks.
- Uh, the point is, I think we should stop.
Uh, uh take the time to, um
- Tweak?
- Uh, get this right.
Doesn't sound like a tweak.
You know what? Let's set up a meeting.
- We're in a meeting.
- Get-together.
- Hear more of your thoughts.
- I've got some thoughts.
- Whenever suits.
- TONY: Now?
We've got to dash.
We've got that, uh, thing.
BRAD: We do.
- TONY: Oh.
- Oh, thank you.
What thing?
- We'll update the website
- NAT: Yeah. That's good.
Alright. I've spoken
to someone at the CSIRO.
Smart coral.
- What does that mean?
- They weren't sure either.
Was this a scientist or a media adviser?
RHONDA: Who cares? Could
we throw some money at it?
- If we knew what it was.
- It's smart coral.
- You've just added a full stop.
- Give 'em a research grant.
Let them work out the rest.
- What's going on there?
- NAT: Oh, don't ask.
Oh. Anyway.
We've set up a chat with UNESCO.
Scientist or media adviser?
It looks like we're good to go.
- And it's Olaf Olafson?
- Yep.
Special rapporteur with the
World Heritage Committee.
Why do all Scandinavians look
like they just got out of a sauna?
- I don't know.
- Alright. Take us off mute.
I can hear you fine.
Uh Mr Olafson. Happy to proceed?
Yes, so, you wish to
discuss our upcoming report?
I'll jump straight to the point.
In order to avoid the Great Barrier
Reef being declared "in danger",
what would UNESCO need to see?
Clear evidence that Australia
was taking genuine and effective
measures to improve
the health of the reef.
So if I was to mention things
like restoration projects,
water quality upgrades,
increased funding
I would say these were
in your last submission.
- No?
- He DID notice.
- I beg your pardon?
- Nothing!
Uh, so UNESCO would
need to see new measures.
OLAF: Effective measures.
Not just setting up new organisations,
announcing the same old initiatives,
websites, school programs.
Window-dressing.
- Smart coral?
- OLAF: What is that?
Early stages.
You know, there is a
saying in my country.
(SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
- (LAUGHS)
- OLAF: You speak Norwegian?
Oh, it just sounded funny.
It means "You must act quickly,
much like the early
bird pursuing a worm."
ASHAN: I think it's better in Norwegian.
NAT: Understood.
Alright, Mr Olafson, we
really appreciate your time.
It is my pleasure.
- Well, he was a barrel of laughs.
- Mmm.
OLAF: And if there is
anything else you need
WOMAN: We begin today with
the Great Barrier Reef.
WOMAN 2: It's about taking action now.
MAN: The World Heritage Site in danger.
WOMAN: Progress IS being
made to address the concerns.
- WOMAN 2: The reef is a sinking ship.
- WOMAN 3: Know how important it is.
(FUNKY MUSIC)
Mmm! I needed that.
- And people like this stuff?
- 3,000 likes.
- Courtney making a cup of tea?
- Her make-up tips get even more.
I still don't know what's in it for us.
It's all about engagement
with potential employees.
If we don't have a social media
presence, we get left behind.
- Is it working?
- Mm-hm. 843 comments.
"Where did you get that
top?" "Cool haircut, sister."
"Make mine milk with one sugar."
Yeah, but anything about working here?
- I'll keep looking.
- What happened to your rowers?
Oh, someone had an issue.
- It was a concern.
- More a complaint.
- TONY: Thanks, Katie.
- So, what's up?
I've had another look at this.
Can you stop giving him Post-it notes?
Hey, another one of those
streaming giants is interested.
- 'Hevu' or 'Tuvo'.
- TONY: Tell you why.
- It's something 'Plus'.
- This deal is so lopsided.
We're giving millions to these
overseas production companies.
- And what do we get in return?
- Hollywood Down Under!
Two days of positive media
coverage and all the risk.
Word is they could be filming
Fast and the Furious 7 out here.
- Haven't they already filmed that?
- Might be a prequel.
Whisper is Vin Diesel could be
looking at a place in Port Douglas.
- We have to pause this thing.
- Tony, it's a major investment in the arts!
Aussie crews, Aussie stories!
- Aussie taxpayer dollars.
- But still Aussie.
- TONY: I need to speak with him.
- Vin Diesel?
- The Minister.
- JIM: You spoke with him!
Again. Katie, any
word from the Minister?
Yes, good news. He just
followed us on TikTok.
The meeting. Oh.
They said they'd have to get back to us.
Yeah, a lot on.
Not that much.
Got your text.
"Olaf Olafson".
- Bloody spell correct.
- No, that's his name.
- The guy from UNESCO?
- NAT: The Heritage Committee.
- So you spoke with him?
- NAT: Yep.
- Did you give it to him?
- Not exactly.
- JIM: What did he say?
- (SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
- JIM: What?
- "The early bird catches the worm."
Oh, you got the same update as me.
We have to act fast or
they'll vote against us.
- It's worse than Eurovision.
- Okay. How do we change their mind?
Their report identifies
a bunch of key issues.
- Give us one.
- Climate change.
Give us one we can do something about.
- Water quality?
- JIM: We've already spent on that.
What if we, say, introduced further
restrictions on land clearing?
Oh, don't think I'd be
attacking our farmers.
- We're not attacking them.
- Let's stay on Team Australia here.
- What else?
- They mentioned commercial shipping.
Wish they hadn't. Actually, you
can tell them it's under review.
- They'll want more than that.
- I don't think they know WHAT they want.
And punching back is definitely out?
Tony, have you got a moment
to talk about office art?
No. Have we heard
back from the Minister?
His PA promised she'd get back
to us by the end of the day.
- Oh, when was that?
- KATIE: Two days ago.
She said he's busy in Canberra
with a parliamentary committee.
- Is he?
- Brian's got some more options.
What parliamentary committee?
- BRIAN: There's rock climbers.
- Yep.
- Tony, you're not even looking.
- Oh, sorry.
Relay runners. They're gender-neutral.
And very uncommon.
Not normally a mixed event.
BRIAN: Linda liked it.
- Uh, marathon runner.
- Great.
- You like that one?
- Yep. And she's a woman.
And the caption is 'Empowering'.
Done. Wise choice, Tony.
Ah! He's at a film industry lunch.
- With the parliamentary committee?
- With Cate Blanchett.
(GASPS) Wow! #A-listlunch.
No, I'm annoyed.
Oh.
So, mixed support for
those measures of yours.
Land clearing? We can't
tighten up a few laws?
Spoke to a wide range of stakeholders
pastoralists, graziers,
primary producers.
- They're the same people.
- Mmm. A lot of pushback.
- Commercial shipping?
- The industry IS open to a review.
- Okay.
- RHONDA: From 2040.
- That's ridiculous.
- They wanted 2050.
- So, nothing?
- RHONDA: Let's not give up yet.
Jim wants you to have a chat with
them.
- The beef author?
- RHONDA: Could be anything.
Reef Authority?
Oh. That is a gift.
The Great Barrier Reef
Management Authority?
- That'd be it.
- BRIAN: I like it.
Inspirational AND inclusive.
Still prefer the rowers.
- Oh, we've started a conversation.
- Yeah.
Katie, any word from the Minister?
His PA said they emailed us.
- I haven't seen anything.
- Might have gone to junk mail.
Why would a ministerial
email go to junk mail?
- I'll check your spam folder.
- TONY: You know what I reckon?
- It's not straight.
- We're in the freezer.
He's heard something he doesn't
like and he's just shut us out.
Tony, would you be interested
in 30% off car insurance?
- What?
- I'll keep looking.
Mind you, when this
studio thing pulls a hammy,
- who's the first person he's gonna call?
- Cate Blanchett?
Tony, you got a message on WhatsApp.
Uh, "The Minister has left the group."
- Oh.
- Tony.
Interested in the next
revolution in walking shoes?
- I'm looking for a ministerial email.
- Yeah.
- I'll try Signal.
- TONY: Okay.
- We've met before, haven't we?
- I used to work national parks.
- That's it.
- Yeah. Then I got the big promotion.
- They needed help with the reef.
- Oh. Do you have much experience?
Oh, endangered species.
A lot of overlap there.
Well, thanks for seeing
us at such short notice.
Hey. That's what we're here to do, huh?
- Keep the government happy.
- And protect the reef.
Absolutely. Yeah.
We've just got a few questions. Ash?
What do you know about smart coral?
- About UNESCO.
- Right.
Uh, in response to their last report,
the government really upped
its spending on the reef.
- Ooh, yeah, they certainly did.
- And the authority was a beneficiary.
- Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
- So, what's changed since then?
Where do I start? We're leaps
and bounds ahead of where we were.
- ASHAN: In terms of?
- Well, staffing numbers.
We've got bigger office spaces.
- We're running school programs now.
- Sounds like progress.
But in terms of the reef?
The what? What's changed out there?
Oh! (LAUGHS) Uh, right.
I get the question now. Sorry.
- Um well, you see our boat?
- NAT: Yep.
Used to be half that size.
- Wow!
- Yeah, she's all tricked out now.
- Got the latest technology.
- And how does that relate to the reef?
Well, we can now tell within 24 hours
when any single section
goes from poor to very poor.
That's progress.
Tony, I just spoke to the
Minister's PA, off the record.
- And?
- Vin Diesel's not buying a house here.
- (SIGHS)
- What about the meeting? I need to speak to him.
KATIE: Oh. She said a whole
bunch of things have come up.
- Really?
- He didn't mention it this morning.
- You spoke to him?
- Briefly. It was just a follow-up chat.
We're planning a TikTok.
Oh, and there's been a
complaint, an actual one, about
Oh, you're kidding me. From who?
- Linda.
- She's not even in our office.
She says it portrays an
unrealistic female body image.
- She approved it.
- Before she saw it.
- She's so thin.
- She's a marathon runner.
- Could be eating disorders.
- She's just run 42km.
I'm guessing she's hungry.
Scotty, what do you think of that photo?
- Oh. Uh what did Linda say?
- No, I'm asking you.
- Are we starting a conversation?
- No.
Oh, okay. Uh, let me think.
No, don't go looking for
problems. It's not Where's Wally?
- Can you see any issues?
- They're probably more concerns.
Linda says we'd be safer
with something else.
Yeah. Better ethos.
- KATIE: Mmm.
- Alright, pick another sport.
Not sport. It could
be considered ableist.
Let's have a look.
- Can you try the Minister again?
- Sure.
Do we know where her shoes were made?
Can't see her shoes.
(INAUDIBLE)
So below deck, we keep our sat
nav gear, sleeping quarters,
the galley, obviously.
- Would you like a tour?
- Yeah, great.
- No. Um but what about there?
- Oh.
That is our aerial
surveillance radar system.
No, beyond that.
- The anchor?
- The reef.
Oh, yes, yes. Now, we keep
a very close eye on that.
If anything changes,
we like to know early.
- (SNAPS FINGERS AND SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
- Sorry?
NAT: You know what?
I'll come at this another way.
- Please.
- We're trying to get a sense of the future.
- MAN: Yeah, of course.
- I mean, with all the things you've got,
the programs, technology.
Five years from now, where are you at?
Oh, I think Canberra.
Yeah. I see myself in Canberra.
Maybe advising a department.
Environment Sustainability
would be nice, actually.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- So lunch?
- Could we check out the galley?
- Yeah.
- Awesome!
Can't believe I agreed to do this.
Yep, well, we're building engagement.
- TONY: Uh-huh.
- Okay.
And action.
Hi, I'm Tony Woodford,
head honcho down at the Nat
- Head what?
- We're giving it a bit of zip.
- But I'm the CEO.
- Best to keep it cas.
Let's go again. Hi.
I'm Tony Woodford, head honcho down
at the Nation Building Authority.
My gang and I have been knocking
it out of the par What's up?
I just I'm feeling it's
maybe a bit, uh, static.
- BRIAN: Very static.
- I'm not dancing.
- What if you pointed?
- At what?
- Your gang.
- I know. (SNAPS FINGERS)
- Here's what we're gonna do.
- Mmm.
We're gonna start by you putting
your foot up on the chair.
And we'll give it a bit of energy. Okay?
- Okay.
- Alright. Rolling.
Hi. I'm Tony Woodford, head honcho
down at the Nation Building Authority.
My gang and I have been
knocking it out of the park
with some really cool stuff
roads, rail and our
brand-new film studio com
- That shouldn't be in there.
- It's better.
- And I'm loving the foot.
- Yeah.
SCOTT: Let's go again.
- TONY: Okay.
- And action.
Seriously?!
- Can't we just give him another boat?
- NAT: No.
- Couple of jet skis?
- They don't need any more funding.
Then let's find someone who does.
- We're ready to tap and go here.
- He who hesitates is lost.
- That's today's.
- There's a bunch of organisations.
- Give us some names.
- Great Barrier Reef Foundation.
- How much do they want?
- We did them last time.
- Great Barrier Reef Trust.
- RHONDA: Sounds good.
Did them the time before.
Can't we just sling 'em
an extra couple of mil?
Would Olaf even notice?
- Yes.
- Yes.
We also funded the Great Barrier
Reef Marine Park Authority,
Institute of Marine
Science, Reef Recovery 2025.
- JIM: They sound good.
- They folded in 2016.
- Bugger! Keep going.
- Rescue the Reef.
- I like the name.
- Based in Townsville.
- Never received funding.
- JIM: Hello!
RHONDA: I like the website.
- Who's in the chair?
- ASHAN: Not sure.
But their patron is
Australia's chief scientist.
RHONDA: This is sounding good.
"After careful deliberation and
a rigorous assessment process,
the government announces
a major funding boost to"
- Who are they, again?
- Rescue the Reef.
" Rescue the Reef, to aid
in their vital work ensuring"
- What do they want, again?
- A sustainable reef.
- Shouldn't we check them out?
- JIM: Sure.
But if they're half decent,
they've got a couple of
hundred mil coming their way.
(PHONE CHIMES)
"Remainder, D-list tomato"?
"Reminder, dentist tomorrow"?
JIM: Oh! You're good.
- Tony? Have you checked your TikTok?
- No.
- You've gone viral.
- Really?
- Yeah. 80,000 likes.
- Oh, wow. Can you show me?
- Yeah.
- Tony, you got a reply from the Minister.
And?
"I am currently out of the office
but will be checking emails."
- Try his chief of staff again.
- KATIE: Sure.
Hang on. Here it is.
Check this out.
Hi - I'm Tony Woodford
And I've never had a girlfriend.
- head honcho down at
- My aged-care home?
the Nation Building Authority.
- This guy's so lame.
- My gang and I
- Oh, kill me.
- have been knocking it
out of the park on a
bunch of cool stuff.
- Who is this little smart-arse?
- He's an influencer.
- You want to follow him?
- No, I want to smack him.
- But 80,000 likes!
- For HIM. No-one likes ME.
- Yeah. You were a bit static.
- I didn't want to do it.
- You could hit back.
- What?
Troll the trollers. Stitch HIM.
- What are you talking about?
- Clap back.
I thought you were really good, Tony.
- Shut it down.
- Oh, and look. Linda's following you.
Now!
Still can't find the
executive structure.
Hang on. We're on.
GIRL: Hello.
Hello! Who's this?
I'm Amelia.
Okay. Uh, is your mum
or dad around, Amelia?
No. I'm at school.
Okay. Um will anyone
else be joining us?
From the organisation.
Yes. Amanda.
She's just printing a copy of those
bank statements you asked about.
- Okay. That's good.
- AMELIA: Here she is.
Hello.
Hi Amanda. Um, I'm
Natalie. Uh, this is Ash.
- GIRLS: Hi.
- So, Rescue the Reef.
- Are you representing it today?
- AMELIA: Yes.
We had to start a not-for-profit
as a school project.
School project?
We have to pick a cause,
develop a plan, or website,
as if you really were an organisation.
Okay. How much have you raised?
Um $352.
- Plus Mum's $20.
- Oh, yeah.
So 372.
And Mr De Silva said you
may have a donation as well?
- Uh, yep.
- May we ask how much?
- 250 million
- Dollars!
$250.
(GIRLS SQUEAL)
- OMG!
- Amazing!
Thank you so, so, so much.
You are very welcome.
(FUNKY MUSIC) Cool stuff cool stuff.
Cool cool cool cool stuff.
Head honcho. Head head
head honcho. My gang and I
gang and I gang
gang gang knock it
knock it knocking it out of the park.
- I thought I said take it down.
- No, this is a new video.
- 20,000 comments.
- All of them negative.
- They love your dancing.
- I didn't dance.
- Take it down.
- JIM: Have you seen The Daily Tele?
TONY: I try not to.
"It's lights, camera and
more action than ever"
You know what? I'm not having
anything more to do with that.
He doesn't return my calls. He
just blew off another meeting.
Well, you can talk to him at the launch.
- Is that still going ahead?
- Did you not get an invite?
- What a surprise.
- He's got a lot on. The launch.
Our road trip to LA.
- Our what?
- Did you not get an invite?
- No, I didn't.
- SCOTT: That's odd.
- Tony, don't get angry.
- I'm already angry.
- Your new picture.
- Oh, not again.
"It may perpetuate heteronormative
gender stereotypes."
- What?!
- He's leading and she's following.
- Ah. And is it consensual?
- Oh, that's interesting.
- KATIE: But I have some good news.
- The Minister called?
Courtney's sister, Anika, is an artist,
and she's offered to do
a painting for your wall.
- Fine.
- And do we know where HER shoes were made?
- Good point, Scotty.
- What?
I really like the sound of them.
Rescue the Reef.
It's a kids charity.
- Still, great name.
- Wonderful name.
It's a school project
that we came close to giving a
quarter of a billion dollars to.
- Could we buy it off them?
- There's an idea!
I could speak to their director.
- Who's that?
- Amelia's mum.
- And then what?
- Well, we'd keep the kids involved.
Maybe get them to run some programs.
- Such as?
- JIM: I don't know.
See who can collect the most
crown-of-thorns starfish.
Oh! Thorntember.
Oh. Write that down.
I think we need something
a bit more grown-up.
Those kids mentioned their donations
are going to blue carbon projects.
- RHONDA: Perfect.
- Do you know what that is?
- Is it like smart coral?
- Restoring mangroves and seagrasses.
- Oh, gee, I like the sound of that.
- Mmm.
(BEEP)
- KATIE: Morning, Tony.
- Katie.
We've finally got the
Minister's schedule,
- and he'll be in the office tomorrow.
- To see me?
He's seeing Scott.
They're filming a TikTok.
- Uh-huh.
- And he's happy to dance.
- Oh, is he?
- Oh, and good news.
Your new artwork arrived.
It's on recycled paper, sustainable ink.
It's got a man AND a woman,
so no power imbalance.
- Great.
- Mm-hm.
TONY: Take it down.
Really? Linda's fine with it.
Take it down.
I'll call Brian.
Well
Rescue the Reef is ours.
- You bought it off them?
- We made a substantial donation.
And spoke to the principal.
They're both getting As.
It is a great website.
For Olaf.
"Major funding for an
important grants body
targeting blue carbon projects,
starfish removal, reef resilience."
- And what's that?
- No idea. But I trust the girls.
How's that supposed to inspire me?
By not offending you.
Good choice, Tony.
- Thanks, Br
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- SCOTT: You heard?
- What?
"Not so Tinseltown.
Queensland's much-hyped new
film studios have hit a hurdle
after news broke the
construction works could impact on
- mangrove wetlands and the adjacent reef."
- Oh, you're kidding me.
"Two teenage students from
a local Townsville school
have been leading the protest
against the development."
- KATIE: Tony?
- Yeah?
The Minister's on line one.
Thanks.
This?
No.
- This.
- Maybe.
- This?
- I think that's upside down.
Is it?
No.
Oh. Hang on. I think that's for Nat.
I don't mind that.
So, for our $250 million
investment, what'd we get?
Well, UNESCO off our
backs. And this T-shirt.
There's some positive
signs for the reef.
A lot of activity.
So the coral's regrowing?
No, but rumour is
they're shooting Pirates
of the Caribbean 6.
- (GASPS)
- Didn't hear it from me.
GIRLS: Hi.
So, Amanda and Amelia,
tell us about Thorntember.