Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s05e06 Episode Script

1
All right everybody,
let's raise a glass.
To Dorothy Wheeler.
The matriarch of MaxDot.
I don't know what we're
gonna do without you.
I don't see it as retiring,
I see it as staying home
while I cash those fat dividend checks.
To Dottie's passive income.
Oh, I'll miss this phone.
Threatened a lot of
distributor's families.
I will miss apologizing on your behalf.
- Shall we?
- We shall.
Oh, let me grab your father first.
Maxy always said this place
would be the death of us.
Well, just him, I guess.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Don't worry, Mom.
The company's in good hands.
I'll make you proud.
- I'm already proud of you.
- Really?
What specifically are you proud of?
I don't know, eh
You're a good-looking fella.
That really means a lot.
May I give you a hug, Mrs. Wheeler?
Knock yourself out.
To the grand dame of MaxDot,
a queen of compression socks,
iron lady of all
All right, hug's done.
Please, come back and visit any time.
You don't mean that.
I would like to.
All right, with me gone,
Bobby's in charge.
I was already in charge.
That's sweet you thought that.
[FAKE CHUCKLE] She's fun, huh?
So, who will it be?
What are you talking about, cousin?
There is an executive
office without an executive.
Oh, yeah Dibs.
Damn it.
There will be no dibsing.
As president, I will award this office
to whoever earns it.
Damn it.
Gentlemen,
I am leading you into the future.
MaxDot 2.0.
The question is,
which of you is ready for it?
Feel free to tear each other apart.
[SCOFFS]
Your cousin's a little intense.
I have enjoyed being your friend.
- What?
- I am sorry for what is coming.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- What?
["IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING]
- Hello.
- Hey, sweetie.
Look who's home.
Is that the jar that's filled
with your dead husband?
It is the urn with my beloved's remains.
I have heard that the teeth
do not fully disintegrate.
Oh, yeah, it's like a big maraca.
Go ahead, shake it.
- No, thank you.
- Do you want a drink?
I have to work tomorrow.
Oh, sucks to be you.
I'm free as a bird.
A bird who likes vodka.
Are you sure you wouldn't
rather put the urn
somewhere more private?
Perhaps your bedroom,
or a box in the garage?
No! Max always loved
being around people.
If he was here right now,
he'd tell you a dirty
joke and pinch your fanny.
He sounds delightful.
I mean no disrespect,
but I'm a little bit
uncomfortable with it.
It's your father-in-law.
I thought all you Nigerians
loved that ancestor crap.
We do not believe in burning our dead.
It desecrates the body
and keeps the spirit from moving on.
Honey, I had no idea.
Well
you'll get over it.
All right, what do you need?
I was headed out.
I am happy to report that
the beavers have been busy.
We're the beavers.
I would like to share an idea
to improve the future of MaxDot.
I'm also excited for
the future of MaxDot.
What did you do to them?
Isn't it wonderful?
They are battling for my approval.
Kofo, speak.
Keep in mind,
I have only had a few
hours to work on this.
I had the same amount
of time and I'm ready.
Also, dressed for success.
Not whatever this is. [CHUCKLING]
- Like I said, I was headed out.
- Okay.
Here is the first of many
ideas for MaxDot 2.0.
Mm.
"2.0"? I like that.
That was not him. That was me.
We could reduce our carbon footprint
by providing all employees
with reusable water bottles.
- That's a good idea.
- Agreed. It is a small, but good idea.
Sorry, are you done?
That's it?
They liked it.
Did they? Hmm.
Well, if you're done with the appetizer,
let's move on to the main course,
gentlemen.
I think it's time that MaxDot
expands into athleisure wear.
Workout clothes?
Sexy workout clothes.
Make you look like an athlete
even if you've never been to the gym.
I feel seen.
It's a natural progression for MaxDot.
Major brands are getting into it.
And we already have the materials
and machinery for production.
But you are pitching
a whole new product.
What's the problem?
I did not know we were
allowed to do that.
And now you know.
May this failure propel you forward.
All right, I don't know
what crazy's doing here,
but, Douglas, that's a great idea.
- Run with it.
- Thank you, Bob.
I will also run with my idea.
The water bottle thing.
Oh. Right.
Nice job, Douglas.
- Thank you.
- You are welcome.
This is nice, huh?
Place all to ourselves.
We are not alone.
- What are you talking about?
- [WHISTLES]
Oh, yeah, he looks good over there.
Cheers, Pops.
Honey, please, do not talk to it.
What, are you afraid
he's gonna answer back?
- A little.
- [CHUCKLES] I don't know.
I kind of like having him here.
It is not right.
A soul cannot rest in a golden trashcan.
Better than a burial.
Especially that open casket thing,
everybody saying how good they look.
They don't look good, they're dead.
Don't worry,
I'll put you in your best suit.
- You'll look better than when you were living.
- [CHUCKLES]
I hate to break it to you,
but when I die,
they're gonna barbecue
me like a Sunday brisket.
Mm-mm. I forbid it.
Honey, it's not really up to you.
Of course it is, you will be dead.
These are my last wishes.
Okay.
I will honor them.
I don't believe you.
- Then do your best to outlive me.
- [CHUCKLES]
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
Hey, I was crunching the numbers
on this athleisure thing.
Douglas has really hit on something.
- I agree.
- I mean, it's a really good idea.
- I know.
- From Douglas!
I honestly think we can
make more money on this
than we do on socks.
Make sure Kofo hears you say that.
Why?
So he goes insane with jealousy.
Then he will not be able to sleep
until he comes up with
an even better idea.
And round and round we will go.
You're gonna drive everybody crazy.
And drive our profits to the moon!
Why do I feel like you
should be in a lair,
stroking a cat?
You are comparing me
to a cartoon villain,
but every one of them was
a successful businessman.
You can still run a successful business
without being a monster.
Oh. Your mother was right,
you really do need me.
- What?
- Nothing.
You make a good point.
Teamwork, rah-rah!
- Hey.
- Hey, sweetie.
Something smells good.
Yeah, I made dinner.
What are we having?
"We"?
Listen, uh
we have a little problem
with Dad's ashes.
There's that "we" again.
They make Abishola uncomfortable.
And they make me happy.
You're in quite a dilemma.
Can't you just keep him in your room
and bring him out for special occasions?
He's my husband, not the good china.
I'm just trying to find a compromise.
I'm the widow. It's my decision.
Like when you decided
not to spread his ashes?
- I never agreed to that.
- It was in his will.
What are you? A lawyer?
I'm his son.
And you should've done what he wanted.
Tell you what, when I'm gone,
you can roll us both up into a doobie
and smoke us for all I care.
In the meantime,
enjoy your new roommate.
I'd line ya up and snort
ya if you wanted me to
'cause I respect people's wishes!
[HUMMING]
[EXCLAIMING]
Hello.
I am picking you up now.
[GRUNTS]
I hope you like citrus.
Thank you for your cooperation.
And thank you for Bob.
He's a very good man.
Okay, I'm all done.
Please do not haunt me.
Bye-bye.
Hello, Douglas.
Kofo.
I wanted to personally deliver
your new company water bottle.
Oh, cool, thanks.
What are you doing?
I'm putting your idea where it belongs.
Because it's garbage.
I'm saving the planet.
You should be more worried
about saving your job.
You should worry about your job.
[SCOFFS] I already said that.
Reusable water bottles will
save the company money.
Which we will need
when you fail to produce
those stupid sweatpants.
They're not stupid, they're cool.
They have stripes!
You have stumbled upon
a huge undertaking
you are completely
unequipped to follow through.
I didn't stumble.
You stumbled.
Perhaps I'm wrong.
Perhaps a man with limited
manufacturing experience
can pivot the production
of an entire factory.
They're not gonna switch
over the entire factory.
Oh, I've heard they're
expecting it to be bigger
than compression sock production.
You heard that?
Cool.
It is cool.
Good thing you are capable
and will not mess it up.
I am implying you will mess it up!
Hey.
Hi.
You good?
Hi.
Oh, boy.
Can't do it, Bob.
I can't run the whole company.
[LAUGHS] Of course you can't, buddy.
I promise that will never,
ever be on the table.
Kofo's right.
I've bitten off more than I can chew.
And now I'm choking.
I'm choking, Bob!
You're not choking.
This is Goodwin's fault.
What are you talking about?
I told him this isn't
the way to do business.
Making you guys nuts.
He's doing this on purpose?
He's pitting you against each other.
I should've put a stop to it,
but I didn't have the heart.
He was so excited for his evil plan.
- Oh.
- I know, it's terrible.
It's so simple.
Huh?
I don't have to run the company.
I just have to defeat Kofo.
Kofo's your friend.
Not anymore. Thanks, Bob.
What the hell just happened?
I'm gonna destroy him!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER,
UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Welcome to The Gold Room.
This was your father's favorite bar?
Well, he didn't really
like to pick favorites.
Unlike with his children.
It was me.
Man, this place hasn't changed.
It smells funny.
That's old carpet and new vomit.
You're right.
My dad used to bring us here
all the time.
This does not seem like
a place for a child.
Ah, we loved having dinner here.
Grilled cheese, chicken fingers.
12-year-olds and drunks
eat the same thing.
I suppose it is a good thing
you got to spend some
time with your father.
Damn right.
That's why I'm
gonna honor his wishes.
Is he in the baggie?
He's in the baggie.
Your mother is going to be very upset.
Look, I know.
But a good spouse respects
what the other person wants.
Even if it's not what they want.
I do not want your sweet
face to be incinerated
and put in an ugly jug.
It's not gonna be ugly.
I already picked it out.
It's gonna be shaped like a football.
Please tell me you are joking.
I wish I could. Come here.
Look, none of this stuff
is fun to talk about,
so how about we just don't?
We need to.
I want to be in heaven with you.
Nigerians believe that
if you are burned,
you will not be accepted there.
Well, why didn't you just say that?
I wouldn't want you to
be in the clouds alone,
having a bunch of handsome
dead guys hitting on you.
There is no sex in heaven.
And I'm back in the jug.
Ah, I am glad you are both here.
You told us to be here.
And by showing up,
you proved you could
follow simple instructions.
Point for Douglas.
I would like a point.
Very assertive.
Point for Kofo.
So who won the office?
Do not rush me. Ten point deduction.
The person who has earned the use
of the Dorothy Wheeler
Executive Suite is
Douglas.
- Ha!
- No!
Suck it, bottle boy!
Enjoy your victory, Douglas,
and all that comes with it.
Oh, I will.
For one week.
What?
I gave you a million-dollar idea
and I only get the office for a week?
You hear that, Kofo?
You have seven days
to plot your revenge.
You lied to us.
I did.
This is a toxic work environment.
This is MaxDot 2.0.
Screw this.
You want to just share the office?
Roomies? Fun.
No. Stop.
I'll go get my stuff.
I'll help.
No helping!
Can I tell you something?
I just love my water bottle.
Friendship is forbidden!
Heads will roll!
[SIGHS] I haven't been back
here since your dad passed.
This was our favorite booth.
I remember.
Lots of canoodling on this leather.
I remember.
I never thought I'd set
foot in this place again.
But it's nice.
It kind of feels like part of
Dad's here with you, doesn't it?
It does.
What if I told you he is?
What are you talking about?
To honor your husband's memory,
Bob brought some of his ashes.
I tucked them in the booth.
You're sitting on a tablespoon of Dad.
Who the hell said you could do that?
He did.
We knew you couldn't do this alone,
so we wanted to help you.
[EXHALES]
I loved him so much.
I know.
I didn't want to have to say goodbye.
You don't have to.
He will always be with you.
Because you burned him and
now he cannot get into heaven.
Honey, maybe read the room.
It is nice that any time you want,
you can come here and honor
the memories you have with him.
That sounds good.
Hmm.
You remember, Maxy.
I'll be seeing you ♪
In all the old, familiar places ♪
That was her and Dad's song.
That this heart of mine ♪
It is very sweet.
Well, settle in,
she's gonna do every verse.
In ♪
A small café ♪
The park across the way ♪
The children's carousel ♪
The chestnut tree ♪
The wishing well. ♪