Gossip Girl s05e06 Episode Script
I am Number Nine
Gossip Girl here-- your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.
I want the movie rights to this book, and since you're good friends with the author, that shouldn't be a problem.
Uh, we're not exactly on good terms right now.
I told Alessandra that I'm giving you the book rights.
I do have one condition.
I want to write the screenplay.
What are those? My late husband Bart had his investigator research our whole family.
There's a story in that safe.
I saw it myself.
I want to return these to you.
And you're not gonna use them ever? Anything of value in these was already on "Gossip Girl.
" "Dr.
Eliza Barnes.
" You look like you need to talk.
I do.
You never had a childhood, so you behave like a child in the worst ways.
Your superficial connections and lack of authentic emotion leave you isolated and alone.
Throwing away your loyal family for a fiancee you shouldn't trust.
Do you really believe she has no other secrets? I would never lie to you.
You know that.
I never know with you.
I have a problem I was hoping you could help me with.
I'd like to meet so I could tell you more in person.
I'm more than willing to pay for your time.
They say the road of life is long and winding, so it's important to mark the milestones along your way, from picking your bridesmaids So many minions.
How you ever going to decide? Tryouts begin after breakfast.
All right, let's put the bar up front, the D.
J.
in back, and the caterers can sit up in the bullpen and we toss out those moving boxes.
Nate, can I add one more thing to your to-do list? Definitely.
To christening your boss' new desk Oh, my Landing on your first best seller list Number nine.
"Inside" by Daniel Humphrey.
What did, uh, Lincoln Hawk's first single debut at? Eight.
Ah, but don't pay too much attention to that stuff.
That was the '90s.
To finally asking for help.
So how are you feeling today? Fit as a fiddle.
But keep your eyes on the road, Upper East Siders, or you could get lost along the way.
That was a productive morning.
Yeah, I got a lot accomplished in a short amount of time, didn't I? Don't gloat.
If anyone deserves top marks, it's me.
Mm.
Now zip me up.
So I was thinking about the party tonight, and I was thinking that maybe you could be my date.
You're joking.
You're not? I mean, isn't it time we finally told the world we're a couple? I can't think of a better time than tonight.
I can't think of a worse one.
Tonight's the public launch of my new media empire.
I'm showing New York City who I am.
Besides, we both knew that female bosses can't mix business and pleasure without people whispering about them behind their back.
Okay, but I'd still like you to meet a few of my friends.
I mean, can we at least talk about that? Of course.
Right after you and Charlie deliver the new "Spectator" tablets to all our V.
I.
P.
guests.
You ever heard of a messenger service? So some unattractive delivery guy can hand them to an assistant who's just gonna sell them on eBay? I don't think so.
Here is your list.
Charlie? I mean, seriously? This is like four pages long.
Don't pout.
Charlie, you are east side.
Nate, you're west.
And I have to run because I am late for a meeting with an old friend from L.
A.
I knew I shouldn't have worn heels today.
The dream starts the same every time.
They have a habit of doing that.
I'm taking an early morning stroll in my new Berluti wingtips.
I look up, and a block away is the most magnificent skyscraper I've ever seen.
I have to get inside it, but every time I round the corner, it's still a block away.
So what do you do? I start to run, but as soon as I reach it-- You wake up.
What do you think the dream is about? My father's tragic death? My mother's secret life? Or perhaps my chronic oral fixation.
I appreciate your sense of humor, Charles, but-- But you think it's just a defense mechanism against intensive therapy.
Be honest.
You know you're holding back.
How can you be so sure I'm hiding something? Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel there's a piece of the puzzle still missing.
It's not your mother or your father.
There's someone you're not telling me about.
Mmm.
Good morning, Blair.
Mmm.
Don't you just adore us? Why do I feel like there's a request coming? Not a request.
A special dispensation.
For what? Scheming and manipulating.
Who do you work for? Louis, can't you just turn a blind eye for let's say 24 hours? Blair All I'd be doing is spending the day with my former minions.
Maybe some light waterboarding involved.
But I've been so good for so long.
And once I'm Her Serene Highness of Monaco, all meddling will be prohibited.
Queen B.
need last hurrah.
Are you sure that's such a good idea? Forgive me.
I've just never understood this Upper East Side tradition of yours.
I know, and that's why we're perfect together.
You don't have the scheme gene like I do.
You don't get the itch.
Maybe it hormonal.
Darling, it's just one day.
Je reviens tout de suite.
Okay.
I give up.
I'll look away.
But only until the party tonight.
That's more than enough time.
Commenced! Don't worry, my love.
Nobody will get hurt That badly.
Mmm.
Hey, Dan's on his way up.
Serena, I want you to meet a dear old friend of mine-- Diana Payne.
Serena.
I think you came to a party at my house in Los Angeles, but I was indisposed.
So good to finally meet you.
So nice to meet you, too.
Serena's my latest find.
A month ago, her job was getting my director three shots over ice.
Now I've got her optioning best sellers for me.
I'm going to go get a tart cherry juice and call David O.
Russell.
I'll be back in time for our meeting.
It's such a small world.
My good friend Nate Archibald actually works for you, and my cousin, Charlie Rhodes.
Oh, yes.
Well, they've both been instrumental in helping me rebrand "The Spectator.
" Oh.
I hope you'll be coming to our launch party tonight.
Oh, no, I wasn't planning on it.
Oh, but you should.
In fact, someone like you with your influence should have her own place to speak her mind.
Have you ever thought about blogging for a web site? I know my readers would love to hear every detail about your life.
Oh, well, there's already somebody who's all over that.
I'm not really a fan of her work.
Gossip Girl doesn't have the monopoly on Serena Van Der Woodsen, does she? No, but I've been hurt enough by what she's said that I could never willingly take part in something like that.
I hope you'll come to the party anyway.
It'd be great to keep talking.
Bye.
As faithful minions through the years, you've each earned a chance to be immortalized as a bridesmaid in my royal wedding, but legally, I must warn you, not everyone will survive the tryouts.
So I've drafted a waiver for you to sign in the event of a catastrophe.
Kati, Penelope, nice to see Constance so ably represented.
Jessica, Columbia's finest.
Blair, it's always been my dream to be your bridesmaid-- Do yourself a favor and stop talking right now.
Even Pippa knew when to pipe down.
Where's Nelly Yuki? Yale, where she got in and you didn't, plus she hates you, remember? Well, an odd number just won't do.
We need another contestant.
Charlie.
You're the maid of honor's cousin.
You should be in the mix, too.
What are you doing right now? Nothing? Then get in line if you dare.
Hello, doctor.
What's this? The rest of what I owe you.
I told you it'd be worth your while.
Now you can settle all of your father's debts.
What do you want me to do? Just make sure my fiancee will never fall for him again.
Louis, that's up to Blair.
No.
It's up to you to turn Chuck back into the monster he was for the first 20 years of his life.
He's a time bomb.
Find his fuse and light it.
Looks like Louis is about to make young Bass' road to recovery a very bumpy ride.
Better buckle up, Chuck.
Dr.
Barnes, what are you doing here? A house call is a little out of the ordinary in my line of work, but I felt our last interaction ended too abruptly.
May--may I sit? Of course.
I was hoping that being in your environment might help.
Well, I applaud your persistence, Dr.
Barnes, but I've searched the far corners of my mind, and I'm not hiding anything, from you or myself.
I'm an open book.
Then let's skip to the chapter about Blair Waldorf.
I live in this city.
I read the papers just like everyone else.
You've done your homework, but I don't see how my history with Blair or the tabloid fodder it produces is really relevant to my therapy.
It's relevant if the Blair is the source of your suffering.
Aren't you upset that the love of your life is marrying someone else? I let Blair go.
Let's leave it at that.
You're actually telling me you're not furious.
Next chapter.
Have you ever thought it's your denial of these feelings that's giving you nightmares? Expressing your rage and anger is part of your healing process.
You can't move on until you let it out.
You have to face that you didn't let Blair go.
You lost her to someone else.
You don't know what I did.
But yes.
Maybe there is something else I need to do if I'm ever going to move on.
I don't want to lie to you.
I don't want to lie to myself.
If I've really let Blair go, I don't need this anymore.
It's beautiful.
I bought it to give to her.
I've been keeping hold of it ever since.
And really what I should do is just return it.
If that's what you need to do, you should do it.
You take it.
Just give it to charity or something.
I don't care.
Just-- just--just take it away.
Thank you.
So, Mr.
Screenwriter, are you ready for your first ever development meeting? I think so, as long as you guys don't want to change the ending or the beginning or all the stuff in the middle.
Don't worry.
You'll love working with Jane.
Ahh! There he is! Oh! Hey.
We're so excited.
Mwah.
Mwah.
Dan, this is Natalie, my exec at Warners.
Hi.
So nice to-- I love, love, love your book-- the characters, the voice, everything.
Honestly, you should just transfer the novel straight to final draft.
Copy, paste, done.
Wow.
Thank you.
Do you don't have any notes before I start writing? Well, we'd love if you could open up the world of Upper East Side a little bit more.
Rich people are so hard to like.
Maybe you can add someone more relatable? I thought I did that already.
I-I think Dan is referring to his main character, Dylan Hunter.
He'll appeal to everyone.
He starts off as an innocent from Brooklyn-- Who quotes Hawthorne and screens Fellini films? I don't think so.
We need a real outsider as a hero.
A tragic backstory would give him more to overcome.
Maybe he's an orphan.
Wait.
Wait-- Now another thought that occurred to me was to "Glee" this up.
You know, music-- originals or covers.
Okay, stop.
What's going on? I thought we were talking about turning this into an important independent film.
Dan, relax, we're just talking.
About turning my book into "Newsies.
" "Inside" is my life.
And thank you so much, but I don't need anyone to tell me how to write it.
A royal wedding is more than just the most glamorous event on the social calendar.
It is also the most dangerous.
People will try to kidnap you and break you for the details.
Paparazzi will tap your phones.
I need to know who of you is going to crack under the pressure.
The contest today will simulate how you perform your bridesmaids duties under extreme duress.
Now fall in line! Dressing me for my wedding day means attending to my every need, no matter how big or small.
Adjust for reception! Cinch that train! Penelope she has to pee! Okay.
Where secret wedding location?! We don't know! Who design Ms.
Blair wedding dress?! We can't tell you that! Good one, Jessica.
Now block that baby bump! Blocking.
What baby bump? Lets go, girls! Faster! Who wants it?! You know the rules! You trip, you're out! You spill, you're out! Whoo! Come on! Nice work, Charlie.
I like what I see.
Yah! Ahh! Ow.
Ha! I'm sorry.
I You sicken me.
May I help you? Yeah.
I work for Diana Payne, and she wanted me to hand-deliver Keith Gessen the new "Spectator" tablet.
It'll serve as his invitation for the party tonight.
Keith doesn't need an invitation, since he'll be attending with Diana.
Oh, but I'll gladly take the tablet myself.
Wait.
So he's going as her date? Hello! They've been going out for two months.
I thought you worked in media.
Hey.
I know this morning was a total disaster, but nobody blames you.
Whatever Jane sent you here to say, why don't you just say it? Well, we both think that you should waive your right to write the script.
Why would I do that? Because if you write it, your project will be stuck in development hell.
You'll write a draft.
A year later, you'll still be rewriting it, and you'll never give them what they want because you're too close to it.
And that's not even the point.
Well, it sounds like it was.
Dan, you're a huge novelist now.
I don't know about huge.
I mean, I'm number nine.
And next week, you'll be number one.
I'll take two.
I'm not greedy.
Seriously, you should be focusing on your next best seller.
Let us hire an "A" list writer like-- like an Akiva Goldsman, somebody who Jane can't bully, somebody who gets great movies made and who will honor your book faithfully.
You really think you could get someone like him to write it? Absolutely.
Jane works with Oscar winners all the time.
But how can I guarantee that she's not just gonna screw it up? Because I won't let her.
She may not know this world, but I do, and I will protect your story and you.
Careful, S.
I have your word? You have my word.
Everybody knows the road to hell is paved with good intentions and shady bosses.
Hello? - Hey.
- There you are.
Why aren't you back here yet? I got a little hung up at Keith Gessen's office.
Were you ever even gonna tell me that you're bringing him as your date tonight? Of course.
I wanted to say something this morning, but, um-- But you were too busy lecturing me on how you can't mix business with pleasure, right? Keith's just business, really.
You are both.
But no one can know that I am.
Not right now.
I know you don't understand, but you need to trust me.
No, you know what I need to do? Is rethink this whole relationship.
Get me Charlie Rhodes.
Okay, Dan's off the project.
Take a bow, Serena.
You're a star.
How'd you accomplish it? Well, I just convinced him that--that he and his novel would be better served by a top-tier screenwriter.
And he will be.
Sorkin's agent called right after you left.
Aaron Sorkin? Is adapting "Inside.
" Oh, my G-- What? That's--that's incredible.
How did you get that to happen so fast? I had Sorkin lined up for a week.
His agent and I were just waiting.
For me to convince Dan to quit? So this explains your "Inside: The Musical" pitch.
Come on.
I always knew that Dan was never going to work out.
I just gave him a little nudge.
Be happy.
Sorkin is a good thing.
I just wish we could have spared everyone the drama this morning.
Are you kidding? Dan coming in this morning did more for this project than you'll ever know.
Why? Because we got to see what this movie should really be.
A self-important teenager who betrays his friends for fame and fortune.
"Inside" will be the next "Social Network.
" We're going to Zuckerberg him.
Jane, this-- this isn't fair.
I prefer to let the audience decide what's fair or not.
Dan is not like that.
Why don't I put a dinner on the books for all of us? And this way, you'll see.
The next time I see Dan will be at Cannes when I'm shaking his grateful hand on the dais.
I have a call to make.
See you at the party tonight? Congratulations, girls.
You've survived the most physically and mentally challenging day of your lives, and all you have to show for it are a few bruises.
Now for the final round, you will be accompanying me and my prince to the fabulous "Spectator" launch party tonight.
We're going to play a little game with one of the guests there.
Well, who's the target? A boy, of course.
I'm listening.
At the wedding, you'll be the apple of every bachelor's eye.
So I need to know who is going to bag a baron and who's going to embarrass me.
With a busboy.
Exactly.
So Tonight, whoever's the first to get a kiss from one of New York's most eligible bachelors wins the right to call herself my royal bridesmaid.
So tell us, who is it? Dorota? Will you do the honors? Nate Archibald! I am so all over this.
Yes! Yes.
Oh, my God.
So excited! Hello? Why is Nate calling me from Keith Gessen's office? All I asked you to do was make a few simple deliveries to a few specific people, and you botched it.
I know.
I'm so sorry, but Blair's having a competition to pick her bridesmaids, and if I win, I can cover the royal wedding for "The Spectator.
" Then you'd better win, for your sake.
I just have one more task to complete.
Hey.
Hey.
Uh, are you free tonight? Jane was--was hoping that you would be my guest to "The Spectator" party.
Let me guess.
Jane loves me again now that I quit the movie.
I think she just wants to get to know you better-- the real you.
So be super nice, okay? I'm always nice.
Yeah, I'll see you tonight.
Spotted-- S.
trying to navigate a slippery slope.
But she's not the only accident waiting to happen.
Hey.
Did you get my texts? Oh.
I turned my phone off, actually.
Are you okay? I'm, uh I'm good.
He says, teeth clenched.
Come on.
Let me help.
I'm really good with other people's problems.
Not so much my own, but Well, there's this-- there's this girl.
And I asked her to be my date to the party tonight.
And she said "No.
" Which was fine, until I find out that she's bringing another guy.
Do you think that she's trying to let you down easy? Easy's not her style, no.
Well, then she's trying to make you jealous.
Trust me, Nate.
We're all the same.
Okay, so what do I do? Fight fire with fire.
Take me as your date.
Well, no.
I wouldn't wanna-- I wouldn't wanna ruin your night.
I You won't.
Pick me up at 6:00.
Whew.
You're getting excited, aren't you? You're getting excited.
Come on.
Dr.
Barnes.
You shouldn't be here.
And I wouldn't be, if you answered any of my calls.
I told you, I'm done.
I can't be responsible for destroying a young man who's doing everything he can to heal himself.
And what about our deal? As much as it would have helped, here's your refund.
At the tone, please record your message.
Dr.
Barnes, it's Chuck.
I think I'm in trouble.
Can you meet me tonight? Because when you drive Chuck over the edge, it's you who will wind up roadkill.
So how was your day? Just what I needed.
Old habits die hard.
Hello.
If they die at all.
What are they doing here? I thought we agreed we'd be done by tonight.
And I will be, my dear.
The girls just have one more tiny, little thing to take care of.
You won't even notice they're here.
Where's Nate? Where's Charlie? Game on.
You look amazing.
I wanted to offer my sincerest congratulations.
Chuck Bass.
Diana Payne.
So nice to meet you.
I've heard a lot about you, and let me just say, the best of it does you no justice.
I'm sorry.
Have we met before? Not that I can recall.
It's funny.
Just looking at you now, I could have sworn-- I think I'd remember.
Enjoy the party.
Chuck.
Your Highness, always a pleasure.
Give it a rest, Bass.
I'm sorry.
My friend is here.
Dan.
Jane, hey.
Thank you so much for inviting me.
I appreciate it.
Of course.
I'm just so happy you can make it.
Serena, look, I found Dan.
Did you already tell him we got Sorkin to write the movie? What? No.
That's incredible.
I know.
Now your character will talk even faster than you do.
You--you mind if I call my agent and tell her? I'll be right back.
Don't think I don't know what you're doing by bringing him here.
You can't guilt-trip me into changing my mind about the lead character.
I just wanted you to get to know the real Dan.
He--he's genuine and caring and funny.
The Zuckerberg version is the better story.
The better movie.
I gave Dan my word that I would protect him.
He's one of my best friends.
Please don't do this to him.
It's already done.
And you know what? I'm taking you off this project, effective immediately.
Like Dan, you're just too close to it.
Nate, these offices are so big.
You have to show me yours.
Oh, I'd love to.
Yeah, we got a lot of, uh-- Ah! There you are.
I was waiting for you at the bar.
Well, you'll have to keep waiting.
Nate just promised me a tour.
Oh! Of the office.
I'll come with.
Yeah.
No, I wanna see your "Spectator," not hers.
Sorry, Charlie.
Ooh, is that a Hellman-Chang table? Oh, my! Aah! Hmph! Serena, you came after all.
I'm delighted.
So what do you think of "The Spectator"? Everyone seems to be having fun.
Except for you.
Well What? I can't help but pry.
Of course you don't have to tell me.
I just got myself into a situation that's gonna hurt somebody I really care about.
I thought I could fix it tonight, but I-- I can't.
Maybe I can.
I'm quite the problem solver.
I don't think you wanna know.
It involves a friend of yours.
Jane? Now you have to tell me.
It's it's about the book option I got for her.
I need to kill the project.
Give me two seconds, and it'll vanish.
Thank you, but--but I'll-- I'll figure it out on my own.
You just said you couldn't.
Jane and I have history.
She doesn't always like to be reminded of it, and it's been a while since I did.
What kind of history? Some things are best left to the imagination.
So How bad do you want your problem to go away? Jane.
Yes? A word.
Oh, just kiss him and win already.
Anybody with eyes can see Nate has a huge crush on you.
I give up.
I would, but I'm starting to feel like I'm not Nate's type.
Hello?! Nate doesn't have a type.
He's like Derek Jeter.
Well, when he saw you, he said that you were the hottest girl at constance.
Nate said that? Oh, my God.
What else did he say? Something about how you were the only girl at constance he wished that he had hooked up with but never did.
Until now.
what you've done with the place, Nathaniel.
Thanks, man.
I appreciate that.
We just, um Let's do this.
Whoa! Oh! Penelope! What did I tell you about consorting with the help? You're dismissed.
What? It's not my fault she tripped.
Hey.
Uh, you leaving already? I'm sorry.
I have to go.
I was hoping we could talk more about the movie.
What movie? It's dead.
If you want to know why, talk to your friend Serena.
I know the night's still young and the bar's still open, but I wanted to take a moment to thank everybody for coming.
It means so much to me to know that if a bomb went off right this second, New York media would be over.
Hey.
Thanks for being my date.
Of course.
I just hope we were able to make whoever you're seeing jealous.
I don't know.
I don't even think she really cared.
Let's make her care.
I'm game if you are.
Yeah? We are going to be different from "Gossip Girl" and other anonymous sites which traffic in damaging rumors and innuendo.
I'm sorry.
Where was I? Um The "Spectator" is only going to print facts.
If you did it, you deserve to get caught, and we're gonna catch you.
So with apologies to my other esteemed editors, starting tonight, I'm gonna be poaching your best reporters and stealing all your best stories.
I have a story for you.
So let's hear it, Mr.
Bass.
My therapist, Dr.
Eliza Barnes, has been using hypnosis to coerce me into performing unspeakable acts.
I am Dr.
Barnes, and I promise you that none of this is true.
It's okay, Chuck.
Y-you're in a very vulnerable psychological state right now.
I wonder why.
Maybe because I just found out you were taking money to reveal confidential information about me.
Now that's a story I can print If you have proof.
Chuck, stop.
Why are you doing this? If you don't believe me, you should ask your fiance.
He's the one who paid her.
Don't worry, B.
You're still marrying a prince of fools.
Blair, wait.
Please, I know how upset you must be.
After all this arguing about my scheming, what you've been doing is even worse.
But I can explain.
What possible explanation could you have for Paying Chuck's therapist to spy on him? I found the paternity test The one that you'd torn to pieces.
Oh, my God.
You didn't tell me you weren't sure who the father was.
No, I I had to get the test.
Yeah, so you could decide who to be with? No.
So we both could have peace of mind, knowing that what I prayed for in my heart was true.
The paternity test showed me that some part of you thought you might still have a choice to make.
And I needed you to see that Chuck will always be the wrong one.
Louis I don't know how many more times I can say this, but Chuck and I can never work.
You know that for certain? I do.
So does he.
And so should you.
Chuck destroys everything and everybody in his life.
And he'll never change.
But what's scaring me is that.
.
You're changing into him.
Did you just kill my movie? Only because I had no other choice.
But I did it for you.
For me? Are you kidding? Listen, please-- Tell me one thing.
Was this your plan from the very beginning? What? Admit it.
You hate your character in the book so much you couldn't stand to see this made into a movie.
Millions of people might judge you, and we all know how much you like that.
Actually, for the record, having the project killed had nothing to do with my image and everything to do with yours.
Jane was gonna do a hatchet job on you, and now I'm gonna get fired for stopping her.
That was fun.
More fun that you expected? A lot more.
I mean, maybe we should just stage another make-out session.
You know, just for us.
Congratulations! Looks like you won Blair's contest.
Wait, what? What is she talking about? Oh.
Didn't you know? This was all a game.
Charlie only kissed you so she could be one of Blair's bridesmaids.
For the "Spectator" of course.
Oh.
Guess she left that part out.
Nate, I'm sorry.
Oh.
Don't fret, Charlie.
I'm sure Nate wasn't completely honest with you either.
Were you, honey? Right then.
I'd better get back to my real date.
Keep up the good work, Charlie.
Cheers.
What, so you used me to get a story? The "girl" you're seeing is our boss?! Well, if it isn't the good doctor.
I thought you should know I'm gonna shut down my practice.
Why? I know people say therapy's a waste of time, but you did wonders with my trust issues.
I understand you're angry.
I don't expect you to ever forgive me.
I just thought you should know S wasn't paying me for information alone.
He wanted me to drive you into a rage, to turn you into this monster you apparently used to be.
Louis is so threatened by you that he wanted to remind Blair-- why she chose him.
Maybe Louis is right.
He doesn't have to be.
You can change.
Do you remember this morning when I asked you about Blair? I was trying to provoke you.
But you chose something else, something better.
You chose to let go.
Continue down that road, and I'll bet you'll find some peace.
I've always wondered what that felt like.
Good luck.
And I'm sorry.
I really did want to help.
Spotted-- Chuck Bass standing at the crossroads.
Looks like we're gonna have to watch his every step.
Serena Word on the street is you're back on the job market.
You don't waste any time, do you? Not when I know what I want.
There must be some way I can convince you to write a blog for "The Spectator.
" Not if it's about the Upper East Side or anyone who lives there, including me.
I'm sorry.
I know that I owe you a favor, but I don't wanna be the next Gossip Girl.
I-I don't believe in attacking people online and spreading rumors.
Neither do I, which is why I wanna take Gossip Girl down.
How? Everyone reads her, and whether they admit it or not, everyone posts.
This city is addicted to her.
Only because she writes about people like you.
Think about it.
If you and your friends are the main reason people care about Gossip Girl, and starting tomorrow, everyone can read about you straight from the source, that would make "Gossip Girl" irrelevant, wouldn't it? I don't know.
Yes, you do.
Serena, this is a chance to have your own voice, to stop the lies and to finally control your own image.
Aren't you tired of swimming in Gossip Girl's fishbowl? Well, I'd have to do it my own way.
I'd expect nothing less.
Come by tomorrow, and we'll brainstorm together.
Okay.
Good night.
Good night.
No more games.
No more secrets.
Either we're in this for the world to see, or we end this right here.
Somebody here to apologize.
Well, I can't say I want to hear it right now, but tell Louis I'll see him upstairs.
Not Louis.
What are you doing here? I-I don't have the energy to rehash tonight's hysterics.
I think you should leave.
I'm not here to apologize about what happened tonight.
Then what are you here to apologize for? Everything else.
I'm sorry for losing my temper the night you told me Louis proposed to you.
I'm sorry for not waiting longer at the Empire State Building.
I'm sorry for treating you like property.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you I loved you when I knew I did.
But most of all, I'm sorry that I gave up on us when you never did.
Thank you.
I hope never giving up on people isn't gonna be my downfall.
That's why you're going to be an amazing mother.
You're always there for the people you love, even when they don't deserve it.
You know that's never gonna change.
It's okay if it has to.
Starting tonight, I'm going to take care of myself.
Is that all? Yeah.
They say every road comes to an end, but sometimes the end feels just like the beginning, even when you think you've come a long way Dad? What, uh, what are you still doing here? Mm.
After I talked to you at the party, Jonathan Karp called.
He got an advance copy of next week's best seller list.
I'm not number one.
Did I go up at all? You dropped off the list.
But when I told him the news about Aaron Sorkin, he said a big movie deal announcement like that will have the books flying off the shelves again.
The movie's dead, dad.
It's over.
I'm--I'm done.
You can suddenly find yourself right back where you started, because every journey is fraught with twists and turns You know, Charlie, you're becoming more trouble than you're worth.
I had no idea you were the one Nate was trying to make jealous.
I just wanted to get the inside scoop on Blair's wedding.
Well Now you know, and so does the rest of the world.
Nate's mine.
Do I make myself clear? Good.
Because I'd hate to have to run a story tomorrow about a poor girl from Florida who Clark Rockefeller'ed the Upper East Side.
And one false step could spell disaster.
But no matter what You still have to stay the course and forge your own path.
No, Louis, I-I know you're sorry.
You should go on your trip.
We can talk when you get back.
Promise.
Besides, a few days apart would be good for us.
Because there's no going back now.
And it looks like this one's going to be the ride of our lives.
X.
O.
X.
O.
Gossip Girl.
I want the movie rights to this book, and since you're good friends with the author, that shouldn't be a problem.
Uh, we're not exactly on good terms right now.
I told Alessandra that I'm giving you the book rights.
I do have one condition.
I want to write the screenplay.
What are those? My late husband Bart had his investigator research our whole family.
There's a story in that safe.
I saw it myself.
I want to return these to you.
And you're not gonna use them ever? Anything of value in these was already on "Gossip Girl.
" "Dr.
Eliza Barnes.
" You look like you need to talk.
I do.
You never had a childhood, so you behave like a child in the worst ways.
Your superficial connections and lack of authentic emotion leave you isolated and alone.
Throwing away your loyal family for a fiancee you shouldn't trust.
Do you really believe she has no other secrets? I would never lie to you.
You know that.
I never know with you.
I have a problem I was hoping you could help me with.
I'd like to meet so I could tell you more in person.
I'm more than willing to pay for your time.
They say the road of life is long and winding, so it's important to mark the milestones along your way, from picking your bridesmaids So many minions.
How you ever going to decide? Tryouts begin after breakfast.
All right, let's put the bar up front, the D.
J.
in back, and the caterers can sit up in the bullpen and we toss out those moving boxes.
Nate, can I add one more thing to your to-do list? Definitely.
To christening your boss' new desk Oh, my Landing on your first best seller list Number nine.
"Inside" by Daniel Humphrey.
What did, uh, Lincoln Hawk's first single debut at? Eight.
Ah, but don't pay too much attention to that stuff.
That was the '90s.
To finally asking for help.
So how are you feeling today? Fit as a fiddle.
But keep your eyes on the road, Upper East Siders, or you could get lost along the way.
That was a productive morning.
Yeah, I got a lot accomplished in a short amount of time, didn't I? Don't gloat.
If anyone deserves top marks, it's me.
Mm.
Now zip me up.
So I was thinking about the party tonight, and I was thinking that maybe you could be my date.
You're joking.
You're not? I mean, isn't it time we finally told the world we're a couple? I can't think of a better time than tonight.
I can't think of a worse one.
Tonight's the public launch of my new media empire.
I'm showing New York City who I am.
Besides, we both knew that female bosses can't mix business and pleasure without people whispering about them behind their back.
Okay, but I'd still like you to meet a few of my friends.
I mean, can we at least talk about that? Of course.
Right after you and Charlie deliver the new "Spectator" tablets to all our V.
I.
P.
guests.
You ever heard of a messenger service? So some unattractive delivery guy can hand them to an assistant who's just gonna sell them on eBay? I don't think so.
Here is your list.
Charlie? I mean, seriously? This is like four pages long.
Don't pout.
Charlie, you are east side.
Nate, you're west.
And I have to run because I am late for a meeting with an old friend from L.
A.
I knew I shouldn't have worn heels today.
The dream starts the same every time.
They have a habit of doing that.
I'm taking an early morning stroll in my new Berluti wingtips.
I look up, and a block away is the most magnificent skyscraper I've ever seen.
I have to get inside it, but every time I round the corner, it's still a block away.
So what do you do? I start to run, but as soon as I reach it-- You wake up.
What do you think the dream is about? My father's tragic death? My mother's secret life? Or perhaps my chronic oral fixation.
I appreciate your sense of humor, Charles, but-- But you think it's just a defense mechanism against intensive therapy.
Be honest.
You know you're holding back.
How can you be so sure I'm hiding something? Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel there's a piece of the puzzle still missing.
It's not your mother or your father.
There's someone you're not telling me about.
Mmm.
Good morning, Blair.
Mmm.
Don't you just adore us? Why do I feel like there's a request coming? Not a request.
A special dispensation.
For what? Scheming and manipulating.
Who do you work for? Louis, can't you just turn a blind eye for let's say 24 hours? Blair All I'd be doing is spending the day with my former minions.
Maybe some light waterboarding involved.
But I've been so good for so long.
And once I'm Her Serene Highness of Monaco, all meddling will be prohibited.
Queen B.
need last hurrah.
Are you sure that's such a good idea? Forgive me.
I've just never understood this Upper East Side tradition of yours.
I know, and that's why we're perfect together.
You don't have the scheme gene like I do.
You don't get the itch.
Maybe it hormonal.
Darling, it's just one day.
Je reviens tout de suite.
Okay.
I give up.
I'll look away.
But only until the party tonight.
That's more than enough time.
Commenced! Don't worry, my love.
Nobody will get hurt That badly.
Mmm.
Hey, Dan's on his way up.
Serena, I want you to meet a dear old friend of mine-- Diana Payne.
Serena.
I think you came to a party at my house in Los Angeles, but I was indisposed.
So good to finally meet you.
So nice to meet you, too.
Serena's my latest find.
A month ago, her job was getting my director three shots over ice.
Now I've got her optioning best sellers for me.
I'm going to go get a tart cherry juice and call David O.
Russell.
I'll be back in time for our meeting.
It's such a small world.
My good friend Nate Archibald actually works for you, and my cousin, Charlie Rhodes.
Oh, yes.
Well, they've both been instrumental in helping me rebrand "The Spectator.
" Oh.
I hope you'll be coming to our launch party tonight.
Oh, no, I wasn't planning on it.
Oh, but you should.
In fact, someone like you with your influence should have her own place to speak her mind.
Have you ever thought about blogging for a web site? I know my readers would love to hear every detail about your life.
Oh, well, there's already somebody who's all over that.
I'm not really a fan of her work.
Gossip Girl doesn't have the monopoly on Serena Van Der Woodsen, does she? No, but I've been hurt enough by what she's said that I could never willingly take part in something like that.
I hope you'll come to the party anyway.
It'd be great to keep talking.
Bye.
As faithful minions through the years, you've each earned a chance to be immortalized as a bridesmaid in my royal wedding, but legally, I must warn you, not everyone will survive the tryouts.
So I've drafted a waiver for you to sign in the event of a catastrophe.
Kati, Penelope, nice to see Constance so ably represented.
Jessica, Columbia's finest.
Blair, it's always been my dream to be your bridesmaid-- Do yourself a favor and stop talking right now.
Even Pippa knew when to pipe down.
Where's Nelly Yuki? Yale, where she got in and you didn't, plus she hates you, remember? Well, an odd number just won't do.
We need another contestant.
Charlie.
You're the maid of honor's cousin.
You should be in the mix, too.
What are you doing right now? Nothing? Then get in line if you dare.
Hello, doctor.
What's this? The rest of what I owe you.
I told you it'd be worth your while.
Now you can settle all of your father's debts.
What do you want me to do? Just make sure my fiancee will never fall for him again.
Louis, that's up to Blair.
No.
It's up to you to turn Chuck back into the monster he was for the first 20 years of his life.
He's a time bomb.
Find his fuse and light it.
Looks like Louis is about to make young Bass' road to recovery a very bumpy ride.
Better buckle up, Chuck.
Dr.
Barnes, what are you doing here? A house call is a little out of the ordinary in my line of work, but I felt our last interaction ended too abruptly.
May--may I sit? Of course.
I was hoping that being in your environment might help.
Well, I applaud your persistence, Dr.
Barnes, but I've searched the far corners of my mind, and I'm not hiding anything, from you or myself.
I'm an open book.
Then let's skip to the chapter about Blair Waldorf.
I live in this city.
I read the papers just like everyone else.
You've done your homework, but I don't see how my history with Blair or the tabloid fodder it produces is really relevant to my therapy.
It's relevant if the Blair is the source of your suffering.
Aren't you upset that the love of your life is marrying someone else? I let Blair go.
Let's leave it at that.
You're actually telling me you're not furious.
Next chapter.
Have you ever thought it's your denial of these feelings that's giving you nightmares? Expressing your rage and anger is part of your healing process.
You can't move on until you let it out.
You have to face that you didn't let Blair go.
You lost her to someone else.
You don't know what I did.
But yes.
Maybe there is something else I need to do if I'm ever going to move on.
I don't want to lie to you.
I don't want to lie to myself.
If I've really let Blair go, I don't need this anymore.
It's beautiful.
I bought it to give to her.
I've been keeping hold of it ever since.
And really what I should do is just return it.
If that's what you need to do, you should do it.
You take it.
Just give it to charity or something.
I don't care.
Just-- just--just take it away.
Thank you.
So, Mr.
Screenwriter, are you ready for your first ever development meeting? I think so, as long as you guys don't want to change the ending or the beginning or all the stuff in the middle.
Don't worry.
You'll love working with Jane.
Ahh! There he is! Oh! Hey.
We're so excited.
Mwah.
Mwah.
Dan, this is Natalie, my exec at Warners.
Hi.
So nice to-- I love, love, love your book-- the characters, the voice, everything.
Honestly, you should just transfer the novel straight to final draft.
Copy, paste, done.
Wow.
Thank you.
Do you don't have any notes before I start writing? Well, we'd love if you could open up the world of Upper East Side a little bit more.
Rich people are so hard to like.
Maybe you can add someone more relatable? I thought I did that already.
I-I think Dan is referring to his main character, Dylan Hunter.
He'll appeal to everyone.
He starts off as an innocent from Brooklyn-- Who quotes Hawthorne and screens Fellini films? I don't think so.
We need a real outsider as a hero.
A tragic backstory would give him more to overcome.
Maybe he's an orphan.
Wait.
Wait-- Now another thought that occurred to me was to "Glee" this up.
You know, music-- originals or covers.
Okay, stop.
What's going on? I thought we were talking about turning this into an important independent film.
Dan, relax, we're just talking.
About turning my book into "Newsies.
" "Inside" is my life.
And thank you so much, but I don't need anyone to tell me how to write it.
A royal wedding is more than just the most glamorous event on the social calendar.
It is also the most dangerous.
People will try to kidnap you and break you for the details.
Paparazzi will tap your phones.
I need to know who of you is going to crack under the pressure.
The contest today will simulate how you perform your bridesmaids duties under extreme duress.
Now fall in line! Dressing me for my wedding day means attending to my every need, no matter how big or small.
Adjust for reception! Cinch that train! Penelope she has to pee! Okay.
Where secret wedding location?! We don't know! Who design Ms.
Blair wedding dress?! We can't tell you that! Good one, Jessica.
Now block that baby bump! Blocking.
What baby bump? Lets go, girls! Faster! Who wants it?! You know the rules! You trip, you're out! You spill, you're out! Whoo! Come on! Nice work, Charlie.
I like what I see.
Yah! Ahh! Ow.
Ha! I'm sorry.
I You sicken me.
May I help you? Yeah.
I work for Diana Payne, and she wanted me to hand-deliver Keith Gessen the new "Spectator" tablet.
It'll serve as his invitation for the party tonight.
Keith doesn't need an invitation, since he'll be attending with Diana.
Oh, but I'll gladly take the tablet myself.
Wait.
So he's going as her date? Hello! They've been going out for two months.
I thought you worked in media.
Hey.
I know this morning was a total disaster, but nobody blames you.
Whatever Jane sent you here to say, why don't you just say it? Well, we both think that you should waive your right to write the script.
Why would I do that? Because if you write it, your project will be stuck in development hell.
You'll write a draft.
A year later, you'll still be rewriting it, and you'll never give them what they want because you're too close to it.
And that's not even the point.
Well, it sounds like it was.
Dan, you're a huge novelist now.
I don't know about huge.
I mean, I'm number nine.
And next week, you'll be number one.
I'll take two.
I'm not greedy.
Seriously, you should be focusing on your next best seller.
Let us hire an "A" list writer like-- like an Akiva Goldsman, somebody who Jane can't bully, somebody who gets great movies made and who will honor your book faithfully.
You really think you could get someone like him to write it? Absolutely.
Jane works with Oscar winners all the time.
But how can I guarantee that she's not just gonna screw it up? Because I won't let her.
She may not know this world, but I do, and I will protect your story and you.
Careful, S.
I have your word? You have my word.
Everybody knows the road to hell is paved with good intentions and shady bosses.
Hello? - Hey.
- There you are.
Why aren't you back here yet? I got a little hung up at Keith Gessen's office.
Were you ever even gonna tell me that you're bringing him as your date tonight? Of course.
I wanted to say something this morning, but, um-- But you were too busy lecturing me on how you can't mix business with pleasure, right? Keith's just business, really.
You are both.
But no one can know that I am.
Not right now.
I know you don't understand, but you need to trust me.
No, you know what I need to do? Is rethink this whole relationship.
Get me Charlie Rhodes.
Okay, Dan's off the project.
Take a bow, Serena.
You're a star.
How'd you accomplish it? Well, I just convinced him that--that he and his novel would be better served by a top-tier screenwriter.
And he will be.
Sorkin's agent called right after you left.
Aaron Sorkin? Is adapting "Inside.
" Oh, my G-- What? That's--that's incredible.
How did you get that to happen so fast? I had Sorkin lined up for a week.
His agent and I were just waiting.
For me to convince Dan to quit? So this explains your "Inside: The Musical" pitch.
Come on.
I always knew that Dan was never going to work out.
I just gave him a little nudge.
Be happy.
Sorkin is a good thing.
I just wish we could have spared everyone the drama this morning.
Are you kidding? Dan coming in this morning did more for this project than you'll ever know.
Why? Because we got to see what this movie should really be.
A self-important teenager who betrays his friends for fame and fortune.
"Inside" will be the next "Social Network.
" We're going to Zuckerberg him.
Jane, this-- this isn't fair.
I prefer to let the audience decide what's fair or not.
Dan is not like that.
Why don't I put a dinner on the books for all of us? And this way, you'll see.
The next time I see Dan will be at Cannes when I'm shaking his grateful hand on the dais.
I have a call to make.
See you at the party tonight? Congratulations, girls.
You've survived the most physically and mentally challenging day of your lives, and all you have to show for it are a few bruises.
Now for the final round, you will be accompanying me and my prince to the fabulous "Spectator" launch party tonight.
We're going to play a little game with one of the guests there.
Well, who's the target? A boy, of course.
I'm listening.
At the wedding, you'll be the apple of every bachelor's eye.
So I need to know who is going to bag a baron and who's going to embarrass me.
With a busboy.
Exactly.
So Tonight, whoever's the first to get a kiss from one of New York's most eligible bachelors wins the right to call herself my royal bridesmaid.
So tell us, who is it? Dorota? Will you do the honors? Nate Archibald! I am so all over this.
Yes! Yes.
Oh, my God.
So excited! Hello? Why is Nate calling me from Keith Gessen's office? All I asked you to do was make a few simple deliveries to a few specific people, and you botched it.
I know.
I'm so sorry, but Blair's having a competition to pick her bridesmaids, and if I win, I can cover the royal wedding for "The Spectator.
" Then you'd better win, for your sake.
I just have one more task to complete.
Hey.
Hey.
Uh, are you free tonight? Jane was--was hoping that you would be my guest to "The Spectator" party.
Let me guess.
Jane loves me again now that I quit the movie.
I think she just wants to get to know you better-- the real you.
So be super nice, okay? I'm always nice.
Yeah, I'll see you tonight.
Spotted-- S.
trying to navigate a slippery slope.
But she's not the only accident waiting to happen.
Hey.
Did you get my texts? Oh.
I turned my phone off, actually.
Are you okay? I'm, uh I'm good.
He says, teeth clenched.
Come on.
Let me help.
I'm really good with other people's problems.
Not so much my own, but Well, there's this-- there's this girl.
And I asked her to be my date to the party tonight.
And she said "No.
" Which was fine, until I find out that she's bringing another guy.
Do you think that she's trying to let you down easy? Easy's not her style, no.
Well, then she's trying to make you jealous.
Trust me, Nate.
We're all the same.
Okay, so what do I do? Fight fire with fire.
Take me as your date.
Well, no.
I wouldn't wanna-- I wouldn't wanna ruin your night.
I You won't.
Pick me up at 6:00.
Whew.
You're getting excited, aren't you? You're getting excited.
Come on.
Dr.
Barnes.
You shouldn't be here.
And I wouldn't be, if you answered any of my calls.
I told you, I'm done.
I can't be responsible for destroying a young man who's doing everything he can to heal himself.
And what about our deal? As much as it would have helped, here's your refund.
At the tone, please record your message.
Dr.
Barnes, it's Chuck.
I think I'm in trouble.
Can you meet me tonight? Because when you drive Chuck over the edge, it's you who will wind up roadkill.
So how was your day? Just what I needed.
Old habits die hard.
Hello.
If they die at all.
What are they doing here? I thought we agreed we'd be done by tonight.
And I will be, my dear.
The girls just have one more tiny, little thing to take care of.
You won't even notice they're here.
Where's Nate? Where's Charlie? Game on.
You look amazing.
I wanted to offer my sincerest congratulations.
Chuck Bass.
Diana Payne.
So nice to meet you.
I've heard a lot about you, and let me just say, the best of it does you no justice.
I'm sorry.
Have we met before? Not that I can recall.
It's funny.
Just looking at you now, I could have sworn-- I think I'd remember.
Enjoy the party.
Chuck.
Your Highness, always a pleasure.
Give it a rest, Bass.
I'm sorry.
My friend is here.
Dan.
Jane, hey.
Thank you so much for inviting me.
I appreciate it.
Of course.
I'm just so happy you can make it.
Serena, look, I found Dan.
Did you already tell him we got Sorkin to write the movie? What? No.
That's incredible.
I know.
Now your character will talk even faster than you do.
You--you mind if I call my agent and tell her? I'll be right back.
Don't think I don't know what you're doing by bringing him here.
You can't guilt-trip me into changing my mind about the lead character.
I just wanted you to get to know the real Dan.
He--he's genuine and caring and funny.
The Zuckerberg version is the better story.
The better movie.
I gave Dan my word that I would protect him.
He's one of my best friends.
Please don't do this to him.
It's already done.
And you know what? I'm taking you off this project, effective immediately.
Like Dan, you're just too close to it.
Nate, these offices are so big.
You have to show me yours.
Oh, I'd love to.
Yeah, we got a lot of, uh-- Ah! There you are.
I was waiting for you at the bar.
Well, you'll have to keep waiting.
Nate just promised me a tour.
Oh! Of the office.
I'll come with.
Yeah.
No, I wanna see your "Spectator," not hers.
Sorry, Charlie.
Ooh, is that a Hellman-Chang table? Oh, my! Aah! Hmph! Serena, you came after all.
I'm delighted.
So what do you think of "The Spectator"? Everyone seems to be having fun.
Except for you.
Well What? I can't help but pry.
Of course you don't have to tell me.
I just got myself into a situation that's gonna hurt somebody I really care about.
I thought I could fix it tonight, but I-- I can't.
Maybe I can.
I'm quite the problem solver.
I don't think you wanna know.
It involves a friend of yours.
Jane? Now you have to tell me.
It's it's about the book option I got for her.
I need to kill the project.
Give me two seconds, and it'll vanish.
Thank you, but--but I'll-- I'll figure it out on my own.
You just said you couldn't.
Jane and I have history.
She doesn't always like to be reminded of it, and it's been a while since I did.
What kind of history? Some things are best left to the imagination.
So How bad do you want your problem to go away? Jane.
Yes? A word.
Oh, just kiss him and win already.
Anybody with eyes can see Nate has a huge crush on you.
I give up.
I would, but I'm starting to feel like I'm not Nate's type.
Hello?! Nate doesn't have a type.
He's like Derek Jeter.
Well, when he saw you, he said that you were the hottest girl at constance.
Nate said that? Oh, my God.
What else did he say? Something about how you were the only girl at constance he wished that he had hooked up with but never did.
Until now.
what you've done with the place, Nathaniel.
Thanks, man.
I appreciate that.
We just, um Let's do this.
Whoa! Oh! Penelope! What did I tell you about consorting with the help? You're dismissed.
What? It's not my fault she tripped.
Hey.
Uh, you leaving already? I'm sorry.
I have to go.
I was hoping we could talk more about the movie.
What movie? It's dead.
If you want to know why, talk to your friend Serena.
I know the night's still young and the bar's still open, but I wanted to take a moment to thank everybody for coming.
It means so much to me to know that if a bomb went off right this second, New York media would be over.
Hey.
Thanks for being my date.
Of course.
I just hope we were able to make whoever you're seeing jealous.
I don't know.
I don't even think she really cared.
Let's make her care.
I'm game if you are.
Yeah? We are going to be different from "Gossip Girl" and other anonymous sites which traffic in damaging rumors and innuendo.
I'm sorry.
Where was I? Um The "Spectator" is only going to print facts.
If you did it, you deserve to get caught, and we're gonna catch you.
So with apologies to my other esteemed editors, starting tonight, I'm gonna be poaching your best reporters and stealing all your best stories.
I have a story for you.
So let's hear it, Mr.
Bass.
My therapist, Dr.
Eliza Barnes, has been using hypnosis to coerce me into performing unspeakable acts.
I am Dr.
Barnes, and I promise you that none of this is true.
It's okay, Chuck.
Y-you're in a very vulnerable psychological state right now.
I wonder why.
Maybe because I just found out you were taking money to reveal confidential information about me.
Now that's a story I can print If you have proof.
Chuck, stop.
Why are you doing this? If you don't believe me, you should ask your fiance.
He's the one who paid her.
Don't worry, B.
You're still marrying a prince of fools.
Blair, wait.
Please, I know how upset you must be.
After all this arguing about my scheming, what you've been doing is even worse.
But I can explain.
What possible explanation could you have for Paying Chuck's therapist to spy on him? I found the paternity test The one that you'd torn to pieces.
Oh, my God.
You didn't tell me you weren't sure who the father was.
No, I I had to get the test.
Yeah, so you could decide who to be with? No.
So we both could have peace of mind, knowing that what I prayed for in my heart was true.
The paternity test showed me that some part of you thought you might still have a choice to make.
And I needed you to see that Chuck will always be the wrong one.
Louis I don't know how many more times I can say this, but Chuck and I can never work.
You know that for certain? I do.
So does he.
And so should you.
Chuck destroys everything and everybody in his life.
And he'll never change.
But what's scaring me is that.
.
You're changing into him.
Did you just kill my movie? Only because I had no other choice.
But I did it for you.
For me? Are you kidding? Listen, please-- Tell me one thing.
Was this your plan from the very beginning? What? Admit it.
You hate your character in the book so much you couldn't stand to see this made into a movie.
Millions of people might judge you, and we all know how much you like that.
Actually, for the record, having the project killed had nothing to do with my image and everything to do with yours.
Jane was gonna do a hatchet job on you, and now I'm gonna get fired for stopping her.
That was fun.
More fun that you expected? A lot more.
I mean, maybe we should just stage another make-out session.
You know, just for us.
Congratulations! Looks like you won Blair's contest.
Wait, what? What is she talking about? Oh.
Didn't you know? This was all a game.
Charlie only kissed you so she could be one of Blair's bridesmaids.
For the "Spectator" of course.
Oh.
Guess she left that part out.
Nate, I'm sorry.
Oh.
Don't fret, Charlie.
I'm sure Nate wasn't completely honest with you either.
Were you, honey? Right then.
I'd better get back to my real date.
Keep up the good work, Charlie.
Cheers.
What, so you used me to get a story? The "girl" you're seeing is our boss?! Well, if it isn't the good doctor.
I thought you should know I'm gonna shut down my practice.
Why? I know people say therapy's a waste of time, but you did wonders with my trust issues.
I understand you're angry.
I don't expect you to ever forgive me.
I just thought you should know S wasn't paying me for information alone.
He wanted me to drive you into a rage, to turn you into this monster you apparently used to be.
Louis is so threatened by you that he wanted to remind Blair-- why she chose him.
Maybe Louis is right.
He doesn't have to be.
You can change.
Do you remember this morning when I asked you about Blair? I was trying to provoke you.
But you chose something else, something better.
You chose to let go.
Continue down that road, and I'll bet you'll find some peace.
I've always wondered what that felt like.
Good luck.
And I'm sorry.
I really did want to help.
Spotted-- Chuck Bass standing at the crossroads.
Looks like we're gonna have to watch his every step.
Serena Word on the street is you're back on the job market.
You don't waste any time, do you? Not when I know what I want.
There must be some way I can convince you to write a blog for "The Spectator.
" Not if it's about the Upper East Side or anyone who lives there, including me.
I'm sorry.
I know that I owe you a favor, but I don't wanna be the next Gossip Girl.
I-I don't believe in attacking people online and spreading rumors.
Neither do I, which is why I wanna take Gossip Girl down.
How? Everyone reads her, and whether they admit it or not, everyone posts.
This city is addicted to her.
Only because she writes about people like you.
Think about it.
If you and your friends are the main reason people care about Gossip Girl, and starting tomorrow, everyone can read about you straight from the source, that would make "Gossip Girl" irrelevant, wouldn't it? I don't know.
Yes, you do.
Serena, this is a chance to have your own voice, to stop the lies and to finally control your own image.
Aren't you tired of swimming in Gossip Girl's fishbowl? Well, I'd have to do it my own way.
I'd expect nothing less.
Come by tomorrow, and we'll brainstorm together.
Okay.
Good night.
Good night.
No more games.
No more secrets.
Either we're in this for the world to see, or we end this right here.
Somebody here to apologize.
Well, I can't say I want to hear it right now, but tell Louis I'll see him upstairs.
Not Louis.
What are you doing here? I-I don't have the energy to rehash tonight's hysterics.
I think you should leave.
I'm not here to apologize about what happened tonight.
Then what are you here to apologize for? Everything else.
I'm sorry for losing my temper the night you told me Louis proposed to you.
I'm sorry for not waiting longer at the Empire State Building.
I'm sorry for treating you like property.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you I loved you when I knew I did.
But most of all, I'm sorry that I gave up on us when you never did.
Thank you.
I hope never giving up on people isn't gonna be my downfall.
That's why you're going to be an amazing mother.
You're always there for the people you love, even when they don't deserve it.
You know that's never gonna change.
It's okay if it has to.
Starting tonight, I'm going to take care of myself.
Is that all? Yeah.
They say every road comes to an end, but sometimes the end feels just like the beginning, even when you think you've come a long way Dad? What, uh, what are you still doing here? Mm.
After I talked to you at the party, Jonathan Karp called.
He got an advance copy of next week's best seller list.
I'm not number one.
Did I go up at all? You dropped off the list.
But when I told him the news about Aaron Sorkin, he said a big movie deal announcement like that will have the books flying off the shelves again.
The movie's dead, dad.
It's over.
I'm--I'm done.
You can suddenly find yourself right back where you started, because every journey is fraught with twists and turns You know, Charlie, you're becoming more trouble than you're worth.
I had no idea you were the one Nate was trying to make jealous.
I just wanted to get the inside scoop on Blair's wedding.
Well Now you know, and so does the rest of the world.
Nate's mine.
Do I make myself clear? Good.
Because I'd hate to have to run a story tomorrow about a poor girl from Florida who Clark Rockefeller'ed the Upper East Side.
And one false step could spell disaster.
But no matter what You still have to stay the course and forge your own path.
No, Louis, I-I know you're sorry.
You should go on your trip.
We can talk when you get back.
Promise.
Besides, a few days apart would be good for us.
Because there's no going back now.
And it looks like this one's going to be the ride of our lives.
X.
O.
X.
O.
Gossip Girl.