Insecure (2016) s05e06 Episode Script

1 - Condola Hayes? - Yes? - You can come back here.
- Wait! Can we just pretend like this isn't weird? - Uh, yeah, actually - That would be great.
He's so cute.
Thank you.
Do you wanna hold him? Oh.
Yeah! Hey.
Hey, you.
- Fuck them kids! - Elijah! What the hell is wrong with you?! - You too, bitch! - Ah! - Issa, what the fuck?! - You want some, too? He moved back? - Damn, that feels so good.
- Yeah? You like that? - Yeah.
- Sounds like you love it.
Oh, I do.
What else do you love, huh? I love the way you ridin' me.
That's it? You don't You don't love nothin' else? What? Oh, you wanna switch? No, no.
I swear I saw somebody walkin' a coyote on my way here.
White people be tryin' to make pets outta everything.
I know, right? - You okay? - Yeah, I'm wonderful.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm great.
You sure? I mean, is there anything else you wanted to say? No, I was just checkin' in.
Real talk.
I didn't know I wasn't ugly until you became my barber.
Thank you.
- Aight, man.
I gotchu.
- Yo, what's good with Suge? I was supposed to be in a chair 45 minutes ago.
And I'm supposed to be in that chair right now.
Uh, I mean, I'm sure he'll be here any minute.
- Man, this fool is always late.
- Right? And, the other day, he stole my lunch outta the fridge, and then lied to my face about it while still eatin' my shit.
Y'all trippin'.
Suge got James Harden to come through the other day, and our shit been poppin' ever since.
- I get 10 beards a day now.
- Y'all know I don't talk shit, but if that man says he hates when women wear weaves one more time, I'mma throw hands.
Like, damn, nigga.
You ain't never been with a bald-headed bitch? - Ow, ow, ow.
- Ooh, I'm sorry.
When I get tight, so do my braids.
Even shit that don't apply to him.
Like, when I was tryin' to give haircuts to the homeless.
He shot it down, like it's his call.
Look, he's a good barber.
He good for business.
Period.
Yo, somebody need to hook me up.
I been here so long, my girlfriend will think I'm cheatin'.
Aight, I gotchu.
I'll take the heat.
All right, I got a jerk chicken plate for Mr.
Carter.
Oh, thank you.
This is my favorite.
Molly told me, and mac and cheese with cashew cheese for Jerome.
I don't know why he hates things that taste good.
Dr.
Sebi said cow cheese is toxic.
White people know.
Okay, uh Where's Curtis? I got him an extra thigh.
It's dark.
(CHUCKLES) He's comin' with Kim.
They just parked.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'll just wait to give him and that woman their food.
Oh, sorry.
Molly, you called three times.
I'm tryna feed your family.
Molly (ON PHONE): I know.
Thank you so much for this.
I'm just havin' a hard time concentrating over here.
Any changes with Mom? No changes.
The doctor says she's stable and resting.
- How's the retreat? - It's fine.
I guess it's good that I'm here.
I'd already missed so much work as is, but, honestly, I feel so guilty.
Like, Iss, what if she never wakes up? What if I miss her last moments? Molly, that's not happening.
Your mom knows you love her.
And your family don't even miss you.
Your dad was like, "Who's Molly?" And I was like, "Your daughter.
" Please, go handle your business.
All right, I'll try.
Hey, Curtis! I got you the chicken and salmon plate, and I remembered the barbecue sauce on the side.
Girl, stop tryna fuck my brother.
He's married.
He has a child.
I'm not! You know what? Gimme a hug before my wife and kid show up.
Molly, you ready? Yeah, I'll be right there.
Hey, I gotta go.
Curtis has herpes.
Byeee! Do you really got herpes? Yes! "LA Mag" put the Black Art Walk in their calendar of events.
Come through, calendar! - Yes! The come up is real.
- Right? All right, there they are.
Hey, Anthology Collective! Good to finally meet y'all in person.
So, what we talkin' about? - We been did Art Walk.
- Oh no, but this is our version - featurin' all black artists.
- Mm-hm.
Like, uh, we got Poncho Jones - Legend.
- Uh, Sal Donahue - Icon.
- Have ya heard of him? And then there's Tony the Screamer, who's actually kinda quiet.
I was like, "Speak up!" Anyways, our, uh, sponsor, Nothing But Water, is very interested in making you guys the face of their brand.
The face, y'all.
Not the neck, the face.
The BLOCC? Where I know y'all from? Well, we've been doin' events all around South L.
A.
, so word must be gettin' out.
That's what's up.
We were just discussin' our marketing mix.
This could be a really good look.
Wait, wait.
The BLOCC? Y'all did that museum shit with Crenshawn, right? - Ooh, not them knowin' us.
- He know.
Yeah, that's us.
Look, I'm not sure this is for us.
Oh, uh well, what can we do to turn that "not sure" into a "for sure"? 'Cause we'd really love to have y'all.
We'll think about it.
Aight? - Thank you.
Oh, you, too.
- Have a nice one.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
I know you're not workin'.
No, I was, actually, about to take a group shot, so you guys get together, get together.
I see it, I see it.
Bam! Can we, uh, order some Jack? Shut your young ass up.
It's on the partners.
Top shelf only.
Bring on the Hibiki, please.
Ooh, we are eating good, drinkin' top shelf.
- This retreat is fancy as hell.
- Yeah.
- Okay, you and BJ are the newbies - Mm-hm.
And we always play First Impressions with the newbies.
- Mm-mmm.
This feel like a trap.
- I know, right? BJ, what was your first impression of Molly? Well, that came in college, and - Ahh! - Nuh-uh.
Everybody.
calm down.
It's not like that.
Well, my first impression of Hayward was that y'all didn't really rock with me.
Mmm, accurate.
"Hey, guys.
Have you ever thought about using DocuSign?" No, no, no, "My last law firm had a milk steamer.
" Bitch, if you don't take yourself down to Starbucks like the rest of us.
- Was I that bad? - Yes! But we love you now.
Well, thank you.
Let's play another game.
Anyone that's a lawyer, has to take a shot.
Oh, shit.
Can I have something sweet? There's our party animal! Hey.
Um, I'm, actually, gonna take it over there.
Hi.
Oh, you look like you need a crab cake.
Crab cake and then some.
Don't look at me.
I am a monster.
Sorry I missed the morning activity.
Don't be.
It was just trust falls.
William dropped Patrice again.
She ain't never gonna trust nobody.
No.
Hey, um, so, actually, as I was walking over here, the weirdest thing, I found a watch on the ground in the hallway, very far from my room, near all of the other rooms though, and I just was wondering if anyone knew who it belonged to.
That would be mine.
- Did we - (LAUGHS) Absolutely not.
- Then how? - You don't remember? - Don't pull out the phone.
- Don't do it.
Molly (ON PHONE): What time is it?! Crowd (ON PHONE): Molly time! I said what time is it?! Molly time! Aye! MollyTime, MollyTime, MollyTime! Aye, aye.
You got more? Aye, aye, aye.
All right, time's up.
Time's up.
Wow.
Can I have my watch back? It was my grandfather's.
Yeah, yeah, please.
Hey, everyone! I come bearin' tasties.
They're a family recipe.
Not mine, but somebody's.
Okay, uh y'all seen Crenshawn? Hey, y'all! I know y'all want some brownies.
Oh, look.
Issa Dee Liar.
Oh, ha, ha.
I see what you did there.
On that note, these are kinda olive brownies.
These have olives in 'em? No, I meant, like, an olive branch, but in brownie form.
Tyrese.
What you doin' here, Issa? I just, uh, came here to clear the air.
'Cause, you know, I know we had some miscommunications.
Miscommunications? Is that right? Yeah, we both said some things to cause drama between us.
Well, tell me, what I do? Look, I know I probably should've handled the NBW situation differently, but I just want to put that behind us, and I would love to work with you again Let me stop you real quick.
I just want you to see it from my perspective.
You was more concerned with your bag than my art, so, yeah, I popped off on the 'gram, but instead of you apologizing, you slid in my DMs with the bullshit.
I mean, you can't be mad at me for still bein' mad.
That's not how it work.
Plus, it's our first time really talkin' anyway.
That's why I'm present here before you.
Brownies in hand.
Probably mean you need somethin', huh? Crenshawn, you're dragging my company, which means you're draggin' me, and that's impacting my ability to help the community.
We don't want that kind of help.
Why're you bein' so unreasonable? Look, you came to me, and you said you just needed one opportunity to go to the next level, and then I told you that I couldn't keep driving Lyft, and, and jugglin' The BLOCC.
And now you're comin' at me like I'm tryna sabotage you when I was tryna help us both.
You remember we both went to Sky's? We was vibin'.
Talkin' about the culture, how we wanna shift communities.
Man, that shit was inspiring, Issa.
Felt like we was in - in the trenches together.
- And we were.
But that shit you did with NBW, man, that That shit was fucked up.
You ain't had my back at all.
But you made them choices, so own 'em.
There is a silver lining, though.
Our little interactions inspired my new sweatshirt line.
Go ahead, check that out.
I'm takin' my brownies back.
Them brownies wasn't hittin' anyway.
Everyone's here on time except for Suge.
- Real surprise.
- I'm sure he be here soon.
- What's good? - Ah, we just collectin' rent.
You got yours? Oh, nah.
Nathan got mine.
Say what? I said, you got it, Nathaniel, since you wanna steal nigga's clients.
I was tryin' to help your ass out, so you and the shop ain't lose a customer.
Hey, man, justify it any way you want, but that shit is foul.
You don't touch another barber's head.
That's just some shit you don't do.
Okay, but, Suge, like you late a lot.
And you don't help with the upkeep.
I swept up your station all last week.
And stop eatin' my damn lunches.
You know I be about my meal prep.
- The hell is this? A coup? - Hey, look, it shouldn't be.
We all need to chill, and not act like we perfect.
I wasn't hearin' none of this until he got here.
This is my shit.
I bring in all the famous niggas, and y'all don't even give me a thank you.
Nobody is tryin' to come for you.
Okay? We just want you to play your part.
I was gonna have Wu-Tang Clan come up in here next week, but not now.
We all was gonna eat, but now, I'mma eat solo.
I'm done with this conversation.
Good, shut your whinin' ass up.
What? Say that shit again, and see what the fuck happens.
This really who y'all wanna listen to? This crazy motherfucka.
- The fuck you just say? - Nigga, you heard me.
Stop worryin' about me, and worry about your own bipolar ass.
Y'all doin' way too much.
Um, Suge, I have some essential oils.
- How 'bout some lavender? - Fuck lavender! Give them oils to Nathaniel's soft ass.
Ay, uh, should I come back? Nah, man.
I wouldn't wanna keep you waitin'.
'Sup? Okay, everybody, let's jump in.
We've met with several branding agencies, so we are excited to give you the latest on Hayward Forward.
And now, Molly will walk us through the updates on our strategic options.
I Yes, yes, uh, like Taurean said, we met with five different agencies, and we had them each perform a SWAT analysis on Hayward.
Strengths, well, we all know what our strengths are, um, but we did identify key opportunities including including, um uh, growth in, uh, tech, entertainment, um Yes, exactly, thank you, Molly.
Our senior clientèle are bringing in the highest passive income, yet receiving the fewest resources.
And our tech sector has yet to get off the ground.
Which makes sense, because some of y'all don't know how to go to mute.
I'm talkin' to you, Malcolm.
Very true.
- Oh, um - What's wrong? - Oh, my back is still hurtin'.
- Oh no, why? From carryin' that whole presentation by myself.
That was my bad.
Sorry, my brother kept throwin' me off.
He was textin', and I thought it was something important.
It turns out he just wanted to know if I knew there was a new Chick-fil-A on Crenshaw.
Stupid.
What's goin' on with you, for real? I am not used to outshining you so hard.
(SIGHS) Honestly it's my mom.
She had a stroke.
Oh, fuck me, I'm sorry.
How's she doin'? Uh, stable but she still hasn't woken up.
You-you had this goin' on the entire time? Yeah I know, I'm an, I'm an idiot for tryin' to do everything.
No, no.
I, I get it.
You remember last year and the New Co.
case? Yeah.
Well, my older brother was goin' through cancer treatments, and I was a wreck.
Are you serious? I Wow, I didn't even notice.
You still managed to keep it all together, and still be rude as shit, like always.
Thank you so much.
Work can't matter more than real life.
We're on the same team.
If you ever need anything I appreciate that.
Really.
Thank you.
Weirdly, it actually feels good to be talking about this.
(CHUCKLES) We never get personal, huh? Not at all.
I didn't even know you had a family.
What did you think I had? - A cat.
- I have a dog, Flavor Flav.
- Hmm.
- Like, after the rapper.
No, I know who that is, yeah.
(GASPS) Why the fuck she hungry when I'm hungry? Wow, looks like we have the same taste.
- Are you following me? - No, I just wanted to thank you.
- Thank me? For what? - For giving up.
You handed Lawrence back to me on a silver platter.
He moved back here for me.
So, thank you for the choice that you made.
We're doin' great.
Well, I'm happy for you.
Oh, this? Yeah, we're engaged.
Oh, and it's not the mall ring he bought you.
It's bigger.
You know, Lawrence has a new job where he makes a billion dollars a month.
Dick grew two inches, too.
So, you know the long stroke you like? - Yeah.
- Longer.
Order for Condola! But you got here after me.
Well, that's just the way it goes.
Winners go first.
"Winners go first"? Oh, and, uh, one more thing.
What? Own your choices.
Order for Issa Dee! - Hey! - Hey, Mo.
How's Mom? Any improvements? How did the follow-up scan go this afternoon? Shut up, shut up with your big mouth, damn.
- I have good news.
- What? Say hi, Mom.
It's Molly.
Say hi.
Hey.
Hey, Mommy.
You look you look beautiful.
I love you so much.
She still ain't speakin' yet, but her eyes said, "Molly's a disappointment.
" Shut up, Curtis.
There's still a long road ahead, but, um, the doctor said she could be good to go home as soon as tomorrow.
That is amazing.
Okay, uh, well, I'm, I'm leaving in the morning, but I can leave earlier and, and meet you guys at the hospital.
It's all good.
Don't rush.
I mean, we got it over here.
We'll just see you at the house whenever you get in.
I love you guys.
Okay, turn the camera back over to Mom.
Hey, Mommy.
I'll see you soon, okay? I love you.
- We love you, too.
- All right, good night.
Thank you, God.
Thank you, God.
Thank you, God.
Thank you.
- Yeah? - Hey, it's me.
Partners got us a swag bag.
I wanted to make sure you got one.
Oh my god.
- Is everything okay? - Yeah.
Everything's great.
It's my mom, she just woke up.
Wait, oh my god.
That's that's wonderful news.
- Uh, uh, swag.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, uh - I had to fight Felicia to get you one.
- Thank you.
- Y-You're welcome.
- There's a mug in there.
- Oh, I, I love mugs.
- Love mugs, too.
- I mean, they're so versatile.
Put water, pens, possibilities are endless.
My mom had a mug.
I ain't know I was hungry 'til you walked in.
This shit smells good as fuck.
Hmm.
- You good? - Yeah, just some work drama.
- But Molly's mom woke up, so that's - What?! I'm glad to hear that.
Yeah, I know.
It's such a relief.
And I finally saw the dude with the coyote.
- It's a coyote, right? - Yeah, and it was on a leash.
Yeah.
- How you doin'? - I don't know.
I might be done with that barber shop.
Done? What you mean, "done"? I can't trust none of them people.
It's always just too much drama.
I don't know if stickin' around for all this is worth it, you know? I just Maybe me and L.
A.
just ain't the right fit.
Okay - so that's what it is.
- What? I told you I loved you, and we didn't even discuss it.
Were you just never gonna acknowledge that? Are you serious right now? You always tryna call me out for somethin'.
'Cause you're always avoiding somethin'.
I mean, you said that you might leave L.
A.
, and I'm not supposed to have a reaction to that? Oh, alright, so now this is all about you? You're not even gonna ask me what I'm goin' through? I am.
It's just it feels like I made a choice to commit to this, and it sounds like you're not.
This is dumb.
You know how I feel about you.
Then why are you being so defensive? 'Cause you're tellin' me that I'm not committed.
You the one that's been all inconsistent.
- What does that mean? - It means you cryin' in my mouth one minute, then tellin' me that you want me the next minute, then you wanna take things slow.
Now you're tellin' me you love me.
What do you want from me? You all over the place.
You know what? Let's just drop it.
Okay, fine.
Hey! First, our group massage at 5 P.
M.
But right now, we pre-game for maximum relaxation! If you could only spend the rest of your life with the last person you slept with, how would you feel? I don't know.
Nathan and I are kind of up in the air.
And he called me inconsistent.
Wow, really? It's starting.
Knock knock, here it comes.