Lip Sync Battle (2015) s05e06 Episode Script

1 Hit it! It takes two to make a thing go right - Hit it! - I wanna rock right now I'm not internationally known But I'm known to rock a microphone Because I get stupid, I mean outrageous Stay away from me if you're contagious Like one, two, three, get loose now - It takes two - Hit it! Make it loud Lip Sync nation! You guys sound good.
Tonight's battle's gonna be super good.
Before we can get this started, I need to bring out your super host.
It's LL Cool J! They call me Big L'y, Big Silly Big Money Hands up, hands up! Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.
- Lemme hear you say "yeah!" - Yeah! - Say "hell yeah!" - Hell yeah! Now, scream! Both hands, both hands! Two hands! She's outrageous.
She's sagacious.
And her vibe is contagious.
She is Chrissy Teigen! - What's up! - What's up, Chrissy?! My LL, hello! I like that sparkly thing you're doin'.
- I'm feelin' good yeah?! - Glistening! Welcome to Lip Sync Battle, it's that time again for another hot episode that promises you'll have a good time while you laugh your ass off.
Oo-ooh! - Everybody, make that sound that Chrissy just made.
- Oo-ooh! She appeared in the film The Disaster Artist, and you watch her every week on Superstore.
Give it up for Lauren Ash! And you've seen him in Mad Men.
He played Ron LaFlamme in Silicon Valley.
And he stars alongside Lauren in Superstore.
Put your hands together for Ben Feldman! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just go on over there, buddy.
Yes! - What's up, guys? - Yes! Hi, we're very excited.
This is ridiculous.
I wanted to be polite.
I didn't want to offend, or anything.
- I love it.
- Hi, everyone.
- Everybody say, "Hi, Ben!" - Hi, Ben! I don't know all your names, but just imagine me saying it back to you.
He's got jokes.
- Lauren, you're up first tonight.
- Yes.
- Yes! - Ben, you can have a seat in the VIP.
So, um Lauren, I know you don't want to tell us what the song is I can't tell you.
Listen, tonight, I wanted to go from one extreme to the other.
I wanted to start with a woman who's just desperate for male attention, - Whoa - desperately wants acceptance.
And then, I'm gonna take it the other way later.
- Woo! - Very interesting.
I I I like it.
Can't argue with that! - Right?! - Yes! Lauren Ash! Call your girlfriend It's time you had the talk - Ooh! - Give your reasons Say it's not her fault But you just met somebody new Tell her not to get upset Second-guessing everything you said and done And then when she gets upset Tell her how you never meant to hurt no one Then you tell her that the only way her heart will mend Is when she learns to love again And it won't make sense right now But you're still her friend And then you let her down easy Ohhh Call your girlfriend (Your girlfriend) It's time you had the talk Give your reasons Say it's not her fault Call your girlfriend It's time you had the talk Give your reasons Say it's not her fault But you just met somebody new - That was good! - Yeah, man, I gotta bring it! - You was bringin' it.
- I I always say that first one's about your body.
All you have is your body, and you did that.
- You did it, you did it body-wise.
- Thank you.
- Yes! - She was workin' it.
What I like to do is just with my my cat, just watch music videos, and then try to recreate them.
so this literally is the best show for me to ever do, ever.
- I love it, I love it, I love it.
- Yeah.
So, Ben.
What was it like watching Lauren up here doin' her thing? I mean, she she took me on a journey, you know? That she started out one place, and and there was a whole beginning, middle and end, so Ben is here.
I'm here.
Yes he is, yes he is.
So, Lauren, you can have a seat in the VIP.
- Thank you.
- A lot of energy, a lot of bubbles and vibes.
Ben, you come on over.
Come on over, Ben.
So, Ben, she got the jump on you.
- Yep.
- And, uh, what's your plan, you know, to win the crowd back? I, well I the only thing that you can do, um, as an artist, Um, is is to Oh, boy! Is is, you know, to live your truth, you know? And t to tell to tell something from the heart, and, so, I'm going to be uh, performing a song that was very important to me when I was a child in Jewish, uh, sleep-away camp.
- Um yeah.
- Nice! Ladies and gentleman, put your hands together for Ben Feldman! This or that? This or that? This or that? This yo! (Come on) Who's the black sheep, what's the black sheep? Know not who I am, or when I'm coming, so you sleep Wasn't in my realm, or wasn't in your sphere Knew not who I was, but listen here Dres, D-R-E-S, yes I guess I can start If it's all right with you, I'll rip this here joint apart Back, middle, to the front, don't front Wanna a good time, gonna give you what you want Can I hear a hey? (Hey) Can I get a yo? (Yo) You got a 'hat? (Huh) It's for the hoes (oh) The styling is creative, black sheep of the native Can't be violated, or even decepticated I got brothers in the Jungle, cousins on the quest Dead departed uncles, in pea porridge, may they rest Guess, which way, what, when, how Mista Lawnge, Dres, Black Sheep slam, now Know you've heard the others, phonies to the lovers Then of course, the choice is yours You can get with this, or you can get with that You can get with this, or you can get with that You can get with this, or you can get with that I think you'll get with this, for this is where it's at - You can get with this, or you can get with that - Hands up, hands up! You can get with this, or you can get with that You can get with this, or you can get with that I think you'll get with this, for this is kinda phat Engine, engine, number nine - Hey! Hey! - On the New York transit line If my train goes off the track Pick it up! Pick it up! Pick it up! (Come on) Back on the scene, crispy n' clean (Come on) You can try, but then why, cause you can't intervene (Come on) Never the traitor, party inflater (Come on) And you can get a scoop later - Chrissy! - We did not go to the same type of sleep-away camp.
I that was unexpected, also a journey, though.
You both provided two incredible journeys.
I mean, that was a dope song choice.
Thank you, this was about the around the time in the rap world when - really, really important things were happening.
- I love you - explaining the rap world to LL Cool J.
- Here, LL! Sit down for a second.
so LL, I went to my Jewish summer camp was uh, Hillel Cool J, and We, uh - And we listened to a lot of - Are you Did you just write stand-up bits?! I want you all to know earlier, he was, like, "I have no bit I'm doing in my first one" the biggest bit I've ever seen! On that note, Ben, you can go over to the VIP, hang out a little bit.
The Superstore cast is front and center tonight, and the gauntlet has been laid down.
This battle for the belt looks like an adventure of epicness.
Stay and see who raises the stakes next, the choice is yours.
Better make the right one.
Stay right there, it's LSB, baby.
Lip Sync Battle, Baby, Lip Sync Battle! You can get with this, or you can get with that (Come on) You can get with this It takes two to make a thing go right Lip Sync Battle is back, and Lauren Ash is about to blaze the stage, but before we bring her out, let's check out how someone who already brought the thunder plans to bring the pain.
You wanna talk about "big dick energy"? How 'bout "big chick energy"? Ben just doesn't stand a chance.
- Ohh! - Hello! Yes! I've made it to Broadway! Here we go, guys! Do we wanna try? - Let's try it.
- Let's try it! Okay.
'Kay, ready? - Boom.
- Ohh! Oh, my Lord.
If you told me 12 hours ago, I was gonna have a group of men lift me on stage, I would've said you were crazy.
But, it's happening.
Yes! Oh, my God! The wig is on.
We're going to rehearse.
I literally feel like I'm fulfilling some sort of childhood dream.
Oh.
My.
Gosh! This is amazing! The character that I'm bringing to the stage.
is the fiercest, strongest, female human that anybody will ever see, okay? What?! It's gonna get real, it's gonna get lit, this guys is gonna suck so hard! I'm very confident in this.
Ben Feldman should be frightened.
Baby Come on girls You believe in love 'Cause I've got something to sing about it And it goes something like this Don't go for second best baby Put your love to the test you know, you know you've got to Make him express how he feels And maybe then you'll know your love is real You don't need diamond rings Or eighteen karat gold Fancy cars that go very fast, you know They never last no, no What you need is a big strong hand to Lift you to your higher ground Make you feel like a queen on a throne Make him love you till you can't come down Don't go for second best baby Put your love to the test you know, you know you've got to Make him express how he feels And maybe then you'll know your love is real Express yourself You've got to make him Express himself Hey, hey, hey, hey So if you want it right now, make him show you how Express what he's got, oh baby ready or not Express yourself Ohh! Yes! My lactation queen, the ta-tas were out! In full force, I was, like, "Is that milk? That's milk.
" - Yeah - I didn't know what to expect, I was, like, "Uh Maleficent?" And then, I got it.
- Yeah - And I'm into it.
What? What, LL? I just never thought - I'd hear the word "lactation" on Lip Sync Battle.
- My lactation queen - is right here.
- Yeah, I mean, - you really expressed yourself.
- I did! You articulated very clearly.
- Yes.
Loudly - You know, how No, it was amazing.
And I just don't know how he's gonna top it! - So, it was - I poured milk on my tits! No, that was beautiful.
That was it was sexy, but it was motherly.
I got into it.
Like, my my milk came in just watching it.
- And it was super - Yawn! I'm gonna try and find a way to put milk into mine into my show later.
Well, it's like you're hacking my bit.
- So, it proves - Not hacking! I'm borrowing, but I'm going second.
You know, if you can't do it without putting milk into it, then it's clear that you really don't have much.
- Oh - Oh! - Damn.
- Hey, yo, you know what? Lauren, you can head over to the VIP, that was amazin', that was amazing.
Give her a round of applause, everybody! I love a girl who knows how to express herself and do some good cat choreography.
Absolutely, and one more performance before the champ is crowned.
This is far from over! We're back with more after this! This is LSB.
Don't go for second best It takes two to make a thing go right LSB returns, and Ben Feldman has the chance to snatch up a victory with his final performance of the night.
Can he get this one in the bag? Let's check him out! Hey! Yay! Here, at Lip Sync Battle, I'm feeling sharp.
Hey, everybody, how's it Oh! I'm feeling dialed in, and I'm ready to, uh, do this.
This is a big moment.
I want to tell a story.
To make people laugh, but more importantly, make them cry.
- Here we go! - I've always said, "I must find the ultimate way to destroy Lauren Ash, how can it involve lip syncing in front of Chrissy Teigen?" And so, when I found out that this existed, I was, like, "Great, this is a no-brainer.
" Yes! You literally never wear a tie.
- Never.
- Can you stay this is my table.
- Stay away from my table.
- This is your table? - All of this is yours? - Yes, I'm having my pre-show food! Lauren and I are fierce adversaries.
She is my arch-nemesis.
That's how mad I am! I'm throwing bread! You never eat bread, - you're on a Keto Diet.
- I'm throwin' I'm throwin' carbs! Everyday I wake up, uh, angry and fuming, and frustrated - I'm real mad at you about all the things! - All the things? All the things that you've done that have made me mad.
and it's because of Lauren, completely And, here, I wore my flats so I wasn't taller than you.
Ohh, now the height thing! - Now you're gonna do the height thing! - Well and I am ready to just just destroy her tonight.
You know, it's very cute to me that you're getting this worked up, because it proves to me just how weak you are.
Stop talking to me! You better look out, Lauren! 'Cause I'm comin' after you! Ahh! Cool? There were nights when the wind was so cold That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it Right outside the window But you were history with the slamming of the door And I made myself so strong again somehow And I never wasted any of my time on you since then But if I touch you like this And if you kiss me like that It was so long ago but it's all coming back to me It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light There were nights of endless pleasure It was more than all your laws allow Baby, baby, baby If you touch me like this And when you hold me like that It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now - Damn, Ben! - Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
- Chrissy! - Thank you so much.
- One of the more powerful performances I have seen on this stage, ever.
I knew Lauren was gonna do something sexy.
And so, it was just like, "Well, I gotta do something sexy, too.
" Sexier, yes.
Hilarious.
So, Lauren, when you imagined, you know, Ben's second performance, right? Did you ? Did any of this come to mind? The feathers This is literally what I expected.
Something flamboyant.
Ehh, you know, mincing, um it's also nice that we've gotten to see what your hair's gonna look like in 30 years.
Yeah, yeah, this is exactly what my dad looks like.
It is! I've met his dad! Same outfits and everything.
- He's probably fun at a barbecue.
- Yeah.
Well, Ben, you can head to the VIP.
Make some noise for him.
It's all coming back to me now So, that was next level.
And now, all the fun and games go away, when we come back, it's time to get down to business.
Chrissy does her thing, and gives away the bling.
Ooh, I forget how heavy this blingy gold belt can be.
But it's all coming back to me now! I can't wait to get this off my shoulder, honestly.
Let's put it on a worthy waist.
Keep it there, it's Lip Sync, baby.
Lip Sync Battle, baby, let's roll! Baby, baby, baby If you touch me like this It takes two to make a thing Welcome back to Lip Sync Battle.
Tonight was all about laughs, and a whole lot of fun, make some noise! Chrissy, you ready? - I'm ready.
- Let's do this.
Is the Lip Sync Battle champ Lauren Ash? Or is the Lip Sync Battle champion Ben Feldman? And the Lip Sync Battle champion is Ben Feldman! Ben you're the new Lip Sync Battle champion, how's it feel to have that belt around you? Very heavy, it feels heavy.
Feels good, feels really good.
I'm really excited, this is, uh this is, uh ever since I was a little boy, I've wanted to win Lip Sync Battle.
And, uh so this is a dream come true for me.
Guys, thank you so much! Did you enjoy the LSB experience? You know what? This was truly such a joy.
It was so much fun, and getting to do it with one of my close friends was really, truly, an awesome thing, so I love it, I love it aww, aww! - It's all coming back - That's what I'm talkin' about, yeah.
Well, on that note, a big thanks to Lauren Ash and Ben Feldman for being a part of the Lip Sync crew tonight.
And a shout-out to Lip Sync nation, we thank you for always liftin' us up.
One love from me, LL Cool J, one love from Chrissy Teigen, And remember, whatever you do in your life, baby, "Knock 'em out the box, L.
Knock 'em out, L!" - Baby, baby, baby - Put your hands in the air! If you touch me like this And when you hold me like that Victory lap! Victory lap! It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me - When you see me like this - Say what? And when I see you like that Then we see what we want to see all coming back to me