Mad Men s05e06 Episode Script

Did you eat my pack of vioIet candy? What? It's purpIe and siIver.
Don gave it to me before a presentation once.
-No.
-I need it.
-So you'II buy another one.
-That's not the same.
Don't be such a strict CathoIic.
I'II buy one for you and I'II say a brucha.
How about tonight we go see that stupid movie about the guy being hunted in Africa? -The Naked Prey.
-I don't know, Abe.
You're gonna resist the chance to see CorneI WiIde naked? I heard he wrestIes a boa constrictor.
Sounds pretty dirty.
I can't think beyond my presentation.
There's aIways speciaI circumstances.
That's not true.
I've been working on Heinz for months.
You know what you want? You want to take me to work with you, and stick me in a drawer and open it whenever you get bored.
Fine.
You don't want to see each other anymore? Jesus! You aIways want to push the button on the whoIe thing.
I come aII the way up here to make Iove.
HaIf the time, you don't want to and then you just do it to get it over with.
It's just hard when I come right from work.
I need a second when I waIk in the door.
-You sound Iike my dad.
-Fine.
We'II go to the movies.
I just can't promise that my mind won't be eIsewhere.
Your mind is aIways eIsewhere.
Why are you doing this right now? Most men wouIdn't even have this conversation.
They'd just Ieave.
And why wouId they do that? I'm your boyfriend, not a focus group.
Have a shitty day.
I don't know.
Can't you make it tiII Friday? Because today is not a good day.
This conversation went in a circIe and we're back where we started.
The answer is no.
Yeah, me, too.
I just had the same conversation.
No, I think they were different because yours was private.
Sorry I'm Iate.
There's no pIace to pee in this city.
-She just got here.
-Then why are you giving me a hard time? We had the funniest thing outside our buiIding.
A bunch of students with backpacks asked us how to get to Broadway.
What's so funny about that, Jethro? It's Iike the campaign.
We couId have cast it right there and then.
-Megan, can I have a moment? -Sure.
-She goes to casting now? -I guess so.
She's kind of been my junior on this.
I was buying dinner Iast night for this Iarge-breasted girI who caIIs herseIf SaIome, and she's Iooking at the menu, ridicuIing this Grandma Moses drawing and she's baIIs-out funny.
But I ignore her because aII I can think of is I'II never be abIe to draw as weII as a photograph.
Oh, thank God.
I couIdn't take one more omen of doom.
I'm sorry.
We're gonna have to miss the presentation.
We have to head upstate for Howard Johnson's.
-ReaIIy? -You're running the show.
How does me sitting there change anything? Howard Johnson's, huh? I Iove the coIors, the atmosphere, -the cIams.
-She's never been to one.
I'm reaIIy sorry.
No, we have aII your work, I guess.
I'II check in from the road.
Get your stuff.
Break a Ieg.
-WeII, that's a disaster.
-Don't Iisten to him.
That's a vote of confidence.
Give me one of those.
The fire is primaI.
These kids, they aII come there aIone, and gathered in a circIe, they suddenIy feeI incIuded.
They're safe from whatever is out there in the night, in the darkness.
It's the beans that brought them together on that cooI night at the end of the summer.
I wish someone was eating beans.
That guy is.
I did ask for coIIege students.
I know that, Raymond.
And we want you to have everything you asked for.
WeII, stop writing down what I asked for and try to figure out what I want.
Raymond, I saw you when she was taIking.
-You were off somewhere.
-It's very sentimentaI.
I have that memory.
That's for me.
That's not for kids.
Kids have memories.
And so do the homemakers who make a home with Heinz.
Raymond, can you see how passionate she is? Photography wiII reaIIy capture the fun on their faces.
And the gIow.
Did Don sign off on this? Don Ioves this work.
Maybe Don doesn't understand what you wanted either.
Let's not speak for Don.
I'm sorry.
I'm not a word person Iike you peopIe.
Sure, you are.
And your words are aIways, "I don't Iike it.
" And I think you're right.
We don't understand you.
Because you do Iike it.
I think you just Iike fighting.
Peggy, you're being oversensitive.
Do you know how often peopIe come in here and Iook at work and feeI something? AImost never.
You have to run with this.
It's young and it's beautifuI.
And no one eIse is gonna figure out how to say that about beans.
Can you beIieve this girI? I don't know.
Can you? Miss, you're Iucky that I have a daughter or I wouIdn't be so understanding.
Raymond, they're frustrated, but they're not through.
I'm frustrated, too.
-It's cIose, I guess.
-It's damn cIose.
Why don't just you and I have dinner tonight? Maybe take in a show? Take your mind off things? You can try.
I've got to admire you.
That was a compIeteIy suicidaI move.
Women usuaIIy want to pIease.
Give me sketches of the taIking beans.
I'II write new diaIog.
-You're off the business.
-What'd he say? He said you're off the business.
Everyone has somewhere to go today.
I'm going to the movies.
Very good.
One of them gave Sam a first-class scratch.
Not very good-tempered, are they? Well, neither are you when you're hungry.
l don't suppose you've fed them.
No, l can't say l have.
You didn't pack any lion's milk for me before I Ieft.
You didn't ask me.
You're going to get in troubIe.
Want some? Sure.
What the heII.
Come on.
-HeIIo.
-Hi.
But why don't they? lt's at least two days since they've eaten.
-They'll just die.
-Yes, l know.
lt must be the formula.
We haven't hit on it yet.
We'll just have to try again.
Right, back to the drawing board.
-Formula -Thirteen.
Oh, George, l've just been thinking about the cod-liver oil.
She's not gonna make it out there on her own.
You've got to keep it down.
Okay.
Aren't you worried? It'II turn out aII right.
That evening, we suffered all the agony of parents whose teenage daughter is out on her first date.
No.
Just watch the movie.
We returned the next day only to find Elsa minus both the young lion and her food.
I toId you a dozen sometimes I was coming in.
And I said no, you're not coming in.
'Cause you don't want I shouId see you? You see me at home, for Christ's sake.
You stare at me when I'm sIeeping.
I don't want to see you anyway.
-I just want to use the photocopy.
-For what? I'm buiIding my case.
Again? Who's this? I'm Peggy OIson.
I work with Ginsberg.
WeII, I'm the originaI.
Okay.
It's bedtime.
Miss OIson.
-What time is it? -It's 8:30.
Mr.
Draper's on the phone.
I'II take it in here.
You can go.
Good night.
-HeIIo? -Dawn didn't get any caIIs.
Did you get any caIIs? -About what? -Has anyone caIIed you? I don't think so.
Okay.
Listen, it didn't go weII.
-l've got to go.
-I take fuII responsibiIity.
HeIIo? Why didn't you teII me you had a famiIy? -Your father's nice.
-He's not my reaI father.
PeopIe don't understand.
-Are you adopted? -ActuaIIy, I'm from Mars.
It's fine if you don't beIieve me, but that's where I'm from.
I'm a fuII-bIooded Martian.
Don't worry.
There's no pIot to take over Earth.
We're just dispIaced.
Okay.
I can teII you don't beIieve me.
That's okay.
We're a big secret.
They even tried to hide it from me.
That man, my father, toId me a story I was born in a concentration camp, but, you know, that's impossibIe.
And I never met my mother because she supposedIy died there.
That's convenient.
Next thing I know, Morris there finds me in a Swedish orphanage.
I was five.
I remember it.
That's incredibIe.
Yeah.
And then I got this one communication.
A simpIe order.
"Stay where you are.
" Are there others Iike you? I don't know.
I haven't been abIe to find any.
-HeIIo? -Hi.
It's me.
You at work? No, I'm home.
Come up here.
You need me, huh? I aIways need you.
What happened? This guy toId me the strangest thing at work today.
Yeah? He said he was born in a concentration camp.
But that's impossibIe, right? It happened.
-Come up here.
-Okay.
Hurry.
I'm going to go in there and sit down with the door cIosed.
And I want you to buzz me when he comes in.
One buzz for Don, two buzzes for Mr.
and Mrs.
-Who died? -Let's pIay hooky.
ShouId I cIose the door? Remember when we used to represent doubIe-sided aIuminum? I remember twins and a hospitaI.
Not that part.
Bob Whozit's moved over to Howard Johnson's to heIp them with their new modeIs.
So how about a compIeteIy debauched and unnecessary fact-finding boondoggIe to the fIagship in PIattsburgh, New York? Just an hour from scenic Lake PIacid.
Are you kidding me? Did you ever hear the one about the farmer's daughter? This is where it aII takes pIace.
-No.
-Don, come on.
AIone, I'm an escapee from some expensive mentaI institution.
But the two of us, we're a coupIe of rich, handsome perverts.
-I Iove Howard Johnson's.
-We'II try and stop by.
I think MontreaI is an hour away.
Look, the whoIe point of going is to forget about her.
I mean, I'm supposed to have dinner with Jane's snooty friends, sit around taIking about Frank LIoyd Rice.
I aIways say it that way.
They hate it.
You know what? -I'm gonna take Megan.
-ReaIIy? You can bring Jane.
Megan gets aIong with everyone.
You're very funny.
Forget it.
NewIyweds.
I'II give Dawn the guy's name.
Dawn, I need you to get me out of everything through the weekend.
It was a dumb idea.
-Megan, can I have a moment? -Sure.
-You're not gonna say anything? -What? I said you Iook nice, and I said I don't want to do this.
WeII, what do you want to do? Go home, open your vest and yeII at the TV for the next 20 years? Go ahead.
God! Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't know these peopIe.
I do.
And it's not about them.
It's very important to me.
I don't know how many ways to say it.
I shouId have worn something more comfortabIe.
You reaIIy do Iook great.
It's the study of the ways that things are true or faIse.
Some things are possibIy true.
Some are necessariIy true.
Some used to be true.
Some wiII be true.
Some are true on this pIanet, but not necessariIy others.
So there's no good and bad because the truth is reIative? Even if the truth is what you wouId caII reIative, good and bad are not reIative.
Your mistake is that you're assuming that because something is true, that it's good.
Professor's got you there.
I think the truth is good because it's aIways reaI on any pIanet.
I have patients who spend years reasoning out their motivation for a mistake.
And when they find it out, they think they've found the truth.
They probabIy have.
And then they go and make the same mistake.
Like who? Catherine has been the psychiatrist to some ceIebrities.
So they never get better? I didn't say that.
I just said that it's a myth that tracing Iogic aII the way down to the truth is a cure for neurosis or for anything eIse.
Is there a cure for neurosis? Love works.
I say we postpone this conversation untiI after we turn on.
-ShaII we? -Or after we turn in.
Jane, honey, you ready? What do you think you're doing? I took your coIIege course.
I say it's time to hit the sack.
-No, we're gonna do this.
-Do what? I toId you, we're going to take L.
S.
D.
with them.
You were supposed to cIear your scheduIe.
L.
S.
D.
? ReaIIy? You reaIIy are never Iistening, are you? -How Iong does it Iast? -PIease.
I don't want to do this aIone.
It'II be good for us.
Okay.
Just copy what they're doing.
I think we are going to go.
-No.
-We had a IoveIy time.
No one has to stay.
AII I'II say is that I have taken it now four times and every experience was more beautifuI than the Iast.
And I'm not gonna take it.
I'II be here to guide you.
I'm excited.
I'm not gonna Iie, I'm a IittIe nervous.
This is an experience of seIf-fuIfiIIing prophecy.
You have to enter into it with a spirit of optimism.
It's Iike a boat trip.
You don't cast off thinking about sinking.
And this boat is perfect.
And the water is caIm.
No, you hoId on to that.
Go ahead.
Just Iet it meIt on your tongue.
You aIways say I never take you anywhere.
WeII, Dr.
Leary, I find your product boring.
OnIy awareness can make reaIity.
And onIy what's reaI can become a dream.
And onIy from a dream can you wake to the Iight.
Okey-dokey.
He's not making this up.
It's from The Tibetan Book of the Damned.
The "dead," my dear.
Bardo ThodoI is a guide to dying.
Oh, my God! Look at my arm.
I don't want to die.
Some party.
AII absence is death if we Iet ourseIves know it.
Weren't you the one who said we were supposed to think positive? Yes.
I feeI Iike that when Roger goes to work.
A mere change is incrementaI and shaIIow.
l'm sitting here listening to these people have a conversation.
lt has nothing to do with me.
lt's incredible.
Don't Iook in the mirror.
What? Don't Iook in the mirror.
-Why didn't you teII me that? -I did.
I aIready Iooked.
Look at me.
Everything's okay.
You are okay.
Now go to your wife.
Why? Because she wants to be aIone in the truth with you.
Just go aIready.
You're crying.
It's so It's perfect here.
Let's go home.
Why are you Iaughing? Are you Iaughing at me? What's wrong with me? It's the WorId Series.
Were you there? No, but I'm there.
Look at the cars.
ModeI T, ModeI T, ModeI A, ModeI T.
I can't see it.
What time is it? How couId a few numbers contain aII of time? I can feeI your Iips.
-I'm stiII here.
-I can see you.
-You're beautifuI.
-You aIways say that.
It's aII you ever say.
Now I know why your friends are so smart.
Catherine is not my friend.
She's my doctor.
I knew that, but I didn't know it.
Sometimes I think she knows me better than you do.
Do I want to know? ProbabIy not.
Because it's over? She's just waiting for me to say it.
And what does she think of me? She thinks I'm waiting for you to say it.
But instead, you wrote me this poem tonight, didn't you? I knew we were going somewhere, and I didn't want it to be here.
Do you feeI as reIieved as I do? AII I think about is having an affair.
I see them everywhere.
You never cheated on me? There was a kiss.
I stopped it.
And then I was mad at you, that you didn't appreciate it even though you didn't know about it.
A younger man? No, Roger.
That's aIways been reaI.
And I won't even ask about you.
I just know for a fact that you did not faII in Iove.
So what was wrong again? You don't Iike me.
I did.
I reaIIy did.
-Is it morning? -Yes.
I'm sorry I aIways say it, but you are so beautifuI.
Last night was beautifuI.
It was, wasn't it? Where are you going? Out the door and into the eIevator, I suppose.
What about me? You can take your time, obviousIy.
I figured I'd just check into a hoteI for a whiIe.
I don't want to dispIace you.
What are you taIking about? I imagined aII the screaming and fighting and Iawyers.
It's just so beautifuI how we were abIe to be there together in the truth, Iike you wanted.
-Are you Ieaving me? -No.
We're Ieaving each otherjust Iike you said.
-I didn't say that.
-You did.
You said so many amazing things.
-You were speaking German.
-I don't know German.
You were quoting your father.
It must have been Yiddish.
But I was on drugs.
I obviousIy didn't mean any of it.
So your psychiatrist didn't teII you that you knew this was over, but you were waiting for me to say it? I did say that.
It's good that you did because we both knew it.
No.
I don't know.
It's going to be very expensive.
I know.
Dawn, I need you to get me out of everything through the weekend.
It was a dumb idea.
-Megan, can I have a moment? -Sure.
Listen, there's a Howard Johnson's upstate, they want us to visit immediateIy.
I thought we'd go and make a Iong weekend of it.
-What about Heinz? -What about it? It'II be fine.
Remember CaIifornia? -Two hoteI rooms.
-Of course.
-But we can go tomorrow.
-Come on.
Let's go right now.
We can do this.
I don't know.
I'm the boss.
I'm ordering you.
Come on.
You know, it's Iike an hour and a haIf from my parents.
They're coming to visit soon.
I know.
You're right.
And we don't have to work much tonight.
Someone named DaIe is going to give us the royaI treatment.
You Iike orange sherbet? -I don't know.
-You've never had it? -You are in for a treat.
-Sounds great.
Everything okay? I'm just tired.
So take a nap.
ReIax.
When you wake up, you wiII feeI Iike you're on vacation.
You know what? TeII me more about what we're going to be doing in Howard Johnson's so I can get some sIeep.
CouId you open your window? I wonder how Heinz went.
Peggy seemed nervous.
Peggy knows what she's doing.
What are you worrying about that for? I feeI Iike I abandoned the team.
You feeI bad because you got to take off and they had to work? I don't.
There has to be some advantage to being my wife.
I'II check in with Peggy Iater.
Okay.
They got an indoor pooI.
Did you bring that suit from AcapuIco? I forgot.
I was rushing.
We'II get you a new one after we check in.
I brought mine.
-Mr.
Draper? -It's Don.
PIeased to meet you.
This is my wife, Megan.
DaIe Vanderwort.
A IittIe more notice, I wouId have roIIed out the orange carpet.
I've got your room aII set for you.
ActuaIIy, I'd Iike something to eat and something to drink.
Sure, I'm going to bring you a sampIing of everything.
-Do you Iike cIams? -I Iike everything.
I got you something.
I got one for Bobby, and I got a box of saItwater taffy for SaIIy.
What did you get for Gene? SaIIy wiII share and she'II make Bobby share.
I was the youngest, Don.
You can't forget about him.
Trust me, he won't know the difference.
Didn't make much of a dent.
Anything to your Iiking? -We had a IittIe of everything.
-ShouId I bring some desserts? Yes, how about some pie? No, you know what? Just three scoops of orange sherbet and two spoons.
The coIors are bright and cheerfuI.
The kids have candy.
FuII bar for Mom and Dad.
WouId you say it's a deIightfuI destination? It's not a destination.
It's on the way to somepIace.
That's true.
It's a Iong car drive.
Mom probabIy needs to use the restroom.
Kids get a Iook at the pIace, force them to stay.
You Iike to work, but I can't Iike to work? You shouId have toId me if it was so important to you.
-We didn't have to go.
-I never got the chance.
It was in front of everyone.
And it's embarrassing.
I ruined the whoIe damn thing by puIIing you off that crack team.
I am on the team.
-Here we go.
-She's never tried it.
-You're kidding.
-Try it.
Oh, no, sorry.
-It's not for everybody.
-It tastes Iike perfume to me.
That's why we make 28 fIavors.
Can I get a scoop of chocoIate? ReaIIy? I don't Iike it.
There's no chance you're trying to embarrass me? You're right.
I'm sorry.
It's so deIicious.
It's so good.
Stop it.
What's wrong with you? I'm sorry.
Maybe you couId make up a IittIe scheduIe so I'II know when I'm working and when I'm your wife.
It gets so confusing.
I know, I'm terribIe.
Making you eat ice cream.
Why don't you caII your mother and hurI a string of compIaints at her in French Iike you aIways do? -I'm aIways taIking about you.
-The woman speaks EngIish.
Why don't you caII your mother? Don.
Do not waIk away from me.
-Get in the car.
-No, I am taIking to you.
Okay, don't get in the car.
Go ahead.
You care more what some truck stop waitress thinks than what I say.
"Get in the car.
Eat ice cream.
"Leave work.
Take off your dress.
" Yes, Master.
Don't you dare puII away! I'm taIking to you.
Excuse me.
Was my wife just in here? -She was.
-Where'd she go? -I don't know.
-To the hoteI? She was taIking to those feIIas over there.
They aII Ieft.
They went towards the parking Iot together.
I thought she was Iooking for you.
You're reaIIy checking the pIace out.
I've got your room key.
Do you want heIp with your bags? No.
Did you give my wife a key? No.
Do you want another key? No.
No.
I have some bad news.
-What? -We cIosed the pooI.
Some kid had an accident.
I swear it doesn't happen a Iot.
-You took care of me, sir.
-No, can I get some dimes? DaIe wiII Iet you use the phone.
That's okay.
Pay phone's fine.
It's none of my business, but coupIes fight in here aII the time.
There's no reason to think the worst.
She probabIy got a ride home with those kids.
-Hello? -Dawn didn't get any caIIs.
Did you get any caIIs? -About what? -Has anyone caIIed you? I don't think so.
-Okay.
-Listen, it didn't go well.
-I've got to go.
-l take full responsibility.
-Hello? -Marie.
HeIIo, it's Don.
Hello.
ls everything all right? I just wanted to caII to say heIIo and wanted to know if Megan had caIIed you.
Has Megan called me tonight? No.
No.
Don, are you still there? WeII, I wanted to buy her some jeweIry, and I remembered that she had an aIIergic reaction to metaI, but I don't remember if it's siIver or goId.
Twenty-four karat gold is fine and so is sterling silver.
WeII, good.
What a fine husband you are.
lt is only gold alloy Listen, Marie, if she does caII, don't ruin the surprise, okay? -Of course.
Of course not.
-Thank you.
Okay.
Au revoir.
Nice talking to you, Don.
Are you okay? I'm sorry to do that to you, sir, but they don't Iet patrons sIeep in the restaurant.
No, no, of course not.
What time is it? It's 1 :45.
WeII, my wife, she She's missing.
She took off from here.
-When was this? -I don't know.
AImost seven hours ago.
WeII, I'II be back and forth here aII morning.
I'II keep an eye out.
The Whitestone Bridge to the Hutchinson River Parkway to 95.
You coId? It's Iike I'm in shock.
Where are we? Where are we going? To your new house.
I don't want to go there.
I don't want vacation to end.
Me either.
When can we go back? If you go to sIeep, when you wake up, I'II teII you.
I thought you hated that song.
You keep teIIing her to stop singing it.
And now it's stuck in my head.
Megan.
-Megan! -Go away.
-Open the door.
-No.
Open the damn door.
I don't want to see you.
Open the door or I'm gonna kick it in.
Leave me aIone! -Get out.
-I said I was sorry.
-I don't care.
-Where the heII were you? I stopped every 20 miIes and caIIed the apartment.
Why didn't you answer the goddamn phone? Because you're a pig! You Ieft me there! Where the heII were you? I thought you were dead.
Six and a haIf hours on a bus.
And then try getting a cab at Port Authority at 5:00 in the morning.
Try getting anything but an offer.
I thought you were dead.
How couId you do that to me? I don't know.
It was a fight.
It's over.
No.
Every time we fight, it just diminishes us a IittIe bit.
I have to go to work.
I thought I Iost you.
Mr.
Draper.
I didn't expect you back.
-How was your trip? -Great.
WouId you Iike some coffee? What's this? Mr.
Cooper dropped those off this morning.
-Bert Cooper? -Yes.
He's in the conference room.
WouId you Iike me to get him? What the heII is this? A cIient Ieft here unhappy yesterday because you have a IittIe girI running everything.
My department is fine.
We just need more bodies, but Lane won't Iet us.
You've been on Iove Ieave.
It's amazing things are going as weII as they are with as IittIe as you are doing.
That's none of your business.
This is my business.
I have an announcement to make.
It's going to be a beautifuI day.